So beautiful people. That is your baby mama, favorite baby Mama, Stormy
Pe And this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Sib the modern day female
perspective. Dam's son. Back at it again and back at that again.
We're playing with half the home team today. We got my man Danity Kid
in the building. Danity Kane, and I keep mixing up you and Keb's
name. He's not here. I always mix it up. That's fine,
I'm up anyway, Dandy Kane. It's supposed to being Danny Kane. So
boom, Dannity Kane. That's that's what hey, motherfuckers, y'all know what
it is. And listen, we got a special guest in the building today.
I don't really get excited about too many episodes, but a bit she
is excited today. Yes, we got the six two small Forward from North
for the f Philly My Girl East from East podcast. So say, y'all,
listen, I'm so excited to have you here, not only because you're
a fellow tall bitch, yes, also because you're also a beautiful brown bitch
as well. Yes, God damn we out here, Stormy. We're probably
gonna get flagged for being too sexy for this podcast. I'm not gonna lie.
I did get a notification the last time we did a pod together,
and it was like, yo, y'all can't do this no more. They
were going crazy crazy talking man shit, cash shit. But you know we
don't care, not a damn bit. Listen. So you know I told
you that, like, I haven't really been dating, I haven't really been
doing much. Right, So I went on a date, bitch when reasoning,
yes, yes, what happened? I went on a date, right,
and Stormy stop because you like pretty niggas. What are you sapping to
date? How you look? Okay, So he's a pretty nigga, he
got a notice ring beautiful nigga, and he buffet shit. Yeah yeah,
yeah, but yeah. So I go on the step and the food comes
out, and this man had the audacity to bend his head and bless the
food. Girl my coushus like my coush got wet in the name of Jesus.
Like I don't think it was supposed to or that it should, but
I realized the sexiest thing a man can do for me, it's bless my
food, prayer with my shit. You're prayed with my food and my pussy.
That's romantic. He's a keeper like Zam. He grabbed her hand though
that he like, hey, he reached out for the fucking handst me.
He initiated the prow. He gave him some pussy that night. He man
deserved pussy or the first day. You know, I did not give out
the usci wally, But honestly, I feel like if someone ever and like
deserved it, it would be it would be him. Like cute, I
ain't had my could you get wet off something that somebody did in a long
time? That was like, that's unheard of, That's never happened to me
before. And I'm alone, lass fucking woman. Now I'm jealous. Damn,
bro who told you that? And you know every guy got an old
head that teach him some flot ships. He had pastor's kid though, no
I was judging at me. I'm sorry, bro, like who raised you?
That's dope. So other than that, he opened the doors, I'm
guessing he opened all the doors. He paid for everything. He like,
opened the doors when I got it in when I got out, because you
know, some niggas be slick, they'll open for you to get in it.
Yes, and then you gotta get out on your own, your own.
Yeah, Stormy. Wait, so I'm jealous because I wanted a date
recently and the guy when I got there, we met there and he went
inside without me. That was the first right. Then he called me and
said, each do you have cash Apple Bay? And I'm like, wow,
I'm a hooker. You gotta pay me for the date. He said,
I left my bottle at home. See, you don't get the pretty
good niggas, and I get the bullshit as you got Apple pay niggas.
And I'm a little jealous. Hold on, hold on, hold one soon
as y'all got in the restaurant, No no, no, no no.
When he got in the restaurant, I was still because you're still. He
maybe had the door open door for me. Maybe he wanted to order you
an appetizer. He wanted to send me money because he left his wallet at
home. Maybe he's done in wow. Maybe he went at first because he
wanted to order you some dumplings or something. No, nigga was impatient,
wait for me outside. He was so impatient he left his like a wallet
basically basically, but you get the pretty nigga that's gonna pray with the food.
Listen him. Now, did he give you any red flags before then
that he was gonna be one of them niggas. The problem was he was
a friend of a friend, so I was kind of too lenient with him.
Yeah, I ain't set my expectations prior to the day, so when
we got there, he was too friendly, he was too familiar. He
just was like, you're just fucking each I'm like, no, bitch,
I'm asha like on a date, like say my government name. You know
what I'm saying. Now, question did he get points because he still was
paying? He overpaid, He sent me more money than with the buildings.
But it still was the thing. When I put my card out, it
was other niggas looking like, dude, you know what I'm saying, Like
that was the weird part, Like the men are looking at me paid for
this day although I'm not paying, but I'm paying. Yeah, so you
lost the points regardless. Now, question hypothetically speaking, who would lose more
points? Him cash upping you and you having to pay then, or if
you'll want to get gas afterwards and you had to pay for the gas or
he got to pump your own gas. Oh yeah, yeah, now we
have sons, and I know our sons pumped our gas. Yes, if
a man upon my gas said you're gonna be I'm be like, can't you
going to store? I'm leave you at the gas and I'm pulling the off.
You know what's crazy, my son, he's so sheltered, right,
I had this nigga pump the gas. He pulls the nozzle out with the
gas still going, oh my god, got gas all on his damn uniform,
shoes, pants, everything, put all up, fucked it all up.
And then when we get in the house, he's talking about, oh
mommy, my feet burning. Ain't doing that? Was that? Luke on
you what you're doing? Said? Take it off? Nia, take it
off? Tell because my kids shelton too. So his dad always called me
like you gotta stopped doing He me, brough you gotta stopped. I'm like,
yo, cool out. Yes, but I'd be like, I guys,
stop doing that shit. But I'm not gonna tell him that. But
no, no, no, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Let my baby cry. My baby cried my whole here right here. But
I ain't gonna tell you that. I'm gonna talk to him later like yeah,
we gotta calm down on the ranch. But you know whatever, But
no, Toby, really, if I went on a date with a guy
and he didn't pay for the gas and he's in the car, why are
you in the car with me? Then? And you're in a car with
me and I need gas and you should pay for the gas. I agree,
I agre see my gas. I come on because I love the ride
around on eat and I get in Delaware, Jersey, I'm not pumping gasing
fully. I'm gonna eat right now, big dog, real shit, like
I'm getting gasing while I'm onna be in Jersey. You gotta saying so you
see my I'm on, hello, pop my gas for me? Now what
if he hands you the cash like from the passenger seat like here you go
back? That's still wow because you want me to get out and for myself
in danger. Well if the gas station get robbed, I'm in a fucking
gas station and you in a car all safe and you're gonna pull off an
So which one is worse? Because they both get you money the gas station
because you probably leave me at the restaurant. You know, I mean we
can just like whatever, wen, Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.
Every nig in my life. I call it when I leave him too all
right, fuck all, y'all um. I decided though, like you know,
with me being conscious about going out and dating, I'll go on a
few dates, but I'm really, really really conscious about taking my time and
getting to know somebody before I decide I want to seriously or take them seriously.
And it's not because like I'm being intentional. It's because I'm sick of
choosing a wrong fucking friend. Like I don't know about you, but my
track record for choosing the U leave, the broke or the cordeous one,
I'm on an old bitch. Listen, Stormy. I think it's us.
I think it's somewhere inside of us to we're insecure about something because it's the
it's the nice guy who has a great job and he's doing the right things
that we just don't want to approach or give it time a day to you
get what I'm saying. And I feel like I've been on this new thing
for like the last two years when I'm letting my body lead, not my
mom or my or my heart, right, just my body, Like who
am I kind of communicate we're a head of chemistry with I'm gonna happen sex
with that sounds spiritual, but I've had sex in a year. So I
was saying, this body is fucking up. You get I'm saying, like,
what am I doing wrong? So I can't help you, Stormy because
I'm in the same boat, like damn, you get what I'm saying.
What we're gonna do. I think we're gonna have to settle for getting shorter
niggas. No, I'm never going there, get me up to row me
up the island. I'm leaving the island. I don't want to be with.
No. If I got my arm around you and you're smugling at me
like this, this is wrong. It's extra that come be both of us
up. You know what trouble now? No, I think that short guys
and mighty mouse stay all need love too. Yeah, but not from Easia
story didn't. Yeah, I agree, But I think that there's somebody for
everybody. Yes, yes, No, I love short menton. I'm a
bunch of short mel friends. I just can't date them. I found that
even when I do try to give short guys a chance, even when I
do give shorts guys a chance, a lot of them have this weird ass
Napoleon complex. Yes, yeah, and they always drive trucks and hop out
down down. I thought you was bigger. And it always goes from hey,
okay, yeah, that's that's what's up. My cousin called me the
other day because she was up. She was on this up. I guess
they didn't app and she kept trying something to get on the thing that they
know they have the best guys hold on which one. It's not hinge,
it's one you gotta pay for it, and it's like a it's like a
secret society. Girl. I know you're not talking about be okay. I'm
an ask her. It's not be okay, be okay. It's trash?
Is it everything I asked for me every time I want be okay? It
was just drug dealer, couch surfer, trash, trash, trash like I've
never seen any good people and be okay. Really yeah, See, I'm
scared to do it because I fought I'm gonna get catfish and it happened to
her. She said she went to me there with a guy. She said
he pulled up in the truck. She was like, she was cute online.
Good job, she hopped out, no line. He was a little
person. She said. She was afraid to be like, we can't go
on this day now, hold on, hold on, hold. She swore
she was not lying to me because she's got me a picture. He was
short or he was a little person, A little person says like under four
a lift, yes, a little something. Let me know, because I
like like a little person. He had a big hand, thick thought,
yes, and little arms and little arms she said he was were hand and
everything she said, she she said, she said, I think everybody was
looking at me, but I'm like, maybe wasn't here here? She said,
no, they was fucking scaring. I said, you didn't see it
in the pictures, like his head was a little bit. Yeah, she
said everything was. And she said the pictures you couldn't tell. Hold on,
hold on, hold on, yes, do you know? I don't
even know what would I do if I met up with somebody or the appened
there was a little person every roof for you used to leave? Right?
Yeah? Is that catfish? Though? I would think, because put that
ain't your bio? Right? Why do I have to put that in that
biot? Hold? I feel like y'all discriminated. No, because I put
mind is my bio, because what I would I'm saying, I feel like
on the day and app you should put that in your bio. I don't
want women to put it in anybody because I felt like people try to take
advantage of them. Really. Yeah, but you know, I met this
guy. He's like so big, He's like six to four, He's like
three hundred pounds. I love this man. I want him to lay on
me and suffocate me. Yeah. I think it's a kink of mine,
but I would love for him to do that to me. Yeah. I
can't talk to him because the way I met him through a friend. It's
like he's a coach and I can't do that. Yeah, right, But
I'm a masturbate to the thought of that ship as much as I can.
I Have you watched Beef? No? We were you talking about the new
a new uh serions? Yeah? Serially? Yeah. The only reason I'm
bringing up because you said masturbation, and immediately the girl is like masturbating with
a gun. Yeah, gun, like she know, a literal gun.
She's like rubbing it on her neck and clicking it and it's not like and
then she's like rubbing it on her coach and clicking it is vicause I'm scart
pussy, I know, That's what I was scared. Every time she pulled
it back, I said, thanks, are happening, but no, she
just was random back to it. Not the coach. Yeah, yeah,
yeah coach. I'd rather her gun and masterbate. Yeah, I really wanted.
I really want to suck you. Now, speaking of people you can't
fuck right, have you ever been in this situation where you chose the wrong
front absolutely fucking lootly? And was it just a did you notice right away
or did you notice like the more you and the guy got to know each
other and he slowly brought people around, it was like a group dad or
so listen, So I have friends since college's been friends for a very long
time, and he's like the perfect guy. If you had to pick a
guy out that I would want to like be with, it was him.
Tall, handsome, nice body, cool guys. This is the one you
picked. This is the guy though that he was like, he's a friend
of mine. He was so cool. Yeah, we don't vacation one time
and finally years years years, like we do on vacation and I'm like,
look, I was so drunk. He was like he was drunk. It
was all of it together. Everybody left, but he stayed and we had
set whoa And he had the smallest dick. So what happens when your best
when your friend have a small dick? You're not friends no more? Who
said that? Now? Why y'all can't be friends? Because now I'm always
looking at him like the small man on the corner. My whole thing is,
if we're friends, I'm gonna call you in your little dick. I
can't. I can't look at him no more because expectations is up here,
tall, handsome dress, nice, great job, and then you pull out
the small dick, like you better than me. Soon as I got home,
I would have sent that a picture of a fucking hot cheese shrub.
I would think about you when everything reminds you with him, like yes,
no, yes, like so if ruined everything? So we're not friends anymore.
And that's fucked up because I miss our friendship. But it's just awkward.
Now. Now, how you know all his friends I got a little
dicks? I would think now they all do because they all look like him.
All of them are like handsome guys and good guys, and it's like
y'all must have really small penises. How they're all guilty by associations. And
then I can't take no more annual trips anymore because it's awkward. And we
took any trips for like I don't know eight years. Do you think he
know that? Like, oh, he knows because afterwards the next day we
were still on our vacation and he wouldn't look at me. How many days
were left? Like two? It was like the last day he just was
awkward. Nah, And I'm like, because I know, I know,
I coot you good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I
ain't gonna complain if a man really complaint like that pussy was dry, bro,
Like is there a complaint box? Like where do you where do you
see the coggestion at the door before you do at the household on a bitch
wold a bitch water? What if you had like a yelp review column,
what would you what would your yelp reviews to be like girl? They would
saying I was too aggressive then, but like they can be write three stars,
like she was too aggressive, she wasn't letting me fuck her. She
was trying to suck me like she just was doing the most, Like,
oh, I would have three stars, I wouldn't have five. What would
you have for me? I would have I would have three stars, but
for different reasons. What uh? She was trying to play with my butt?
She was trying to play but that bussies. Um she nuts loudest,
fuck girl, I am loud, and it's like a pig squealing. It's
inaudible, really, and I can't control it. Like, don't try to
sneak fuck me. I'm not. You can't sneak fuck me. You can't,
So you can't fuck the guy who broke in his mama's basement. No
no, no no no no no no no no no no money not me,
not me, not me. Well, I'm gonna get you in trouble.
I ain't gonna hold you. I'm gonna get you in trouble. I'm
sorry. I'm with the house. Cod come down like fucking well, titty's
sagging all over the place. Yes, yes, I'm getting Brandon fucked up
for sure. So you're telling yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I
mean is it because you don't come I have orgasms a lot, or because
that's just you you're just going to be loud. Oh no, I think
I'm just retarded. Was a good orgasm and make you be retarded? Yeah,
good orgasm, we'll turn you retarding. You ever started throwing up gang
sids like holding? Yes? Yes, a good orgasm will shut all that
shit down. Yes for sure, yes, for sure? Yes. Um
wow, this is ridiculous. Um, you don't speaking of orgasms? Um
the great prophet, Doctor Meghan Lead the Stallion Junior King, she's the best,
all of them, all of them. Yes, I said, Doctor
Meghan Lead the Stallion King Junior. Yeah, that's what I said. Um.
She once said, you know I ain't come, boy, if you
had to ask me, yes, don't fucking ask me. Don't ask me.
I have never been more turned off, even if I wanted to fuck
you again, even if I did come, if you ask me, if
I came, I don't want to have sex with you ever again. That's
very true. Yes, because I know you can. I am no locking
because those are men that aren't pleasers. I like the men as are pleasers
that are pleasers. But she ever fucked mine? Want to please you too
much? Yes, First of all, I'm good. I don't on a
head, come fuck me, come stick me. I don't think I'm I
don't think I need like head for a very long time. I don't either,
And my friends to be trying to clown me, make it this seem
like I'm crazy. I don't need all that head like, don't get me
wrong, Like when you have to pull out and do a little head so
you don't come. You can tolerate that a little, but you're doing you're
looking for a half hour straight. That's too much yet off me, especially
for summer time. You know I'm gonna dry out. I don't got that
much time. Don't lot the ceiling. Seriously, girl, we've benna go
to the Saharah doesn't real quick. And now you're gonna be looking at me
like I need to drink more water. Yeah I'm drying it out, yes,
yes, yeah, yeah, no. I like a pleaser. But
like I mean, if you're going from like the pussy to the ass,
the pussy to the ass, and you come back up and you kind of
like fuck me a little bit and they're going back, just just spirit it
all out, don't my pussy for too long, And it's like come on
bro, yes, yeah there it's easy. But we mean you said prior
that kind of means if you're hiding a small penis or I have this theory
in my head, then I don't don't. I'm not into older men because
I find every older man dick is wet immediately before you even touch it.
Hold on, man, you know what I mean. I really think that's
a real thing. What older men that's like maybe forty and over, like
it's moist. I find that dick is always wet. It's damp. Yes,
like if you put your hand in that pants and it's drippy, always
gonna pre come time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't even do
anything yet. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not too crazy about the pre
come ni. I don't like that. I don't like it. Every time
we have sex, I reach down in your drawers and you moist. That's
like a pussy, Like what were doing what I see to get you wet?
Bro was like, what are we doing? Right? Like what do
I do? I don't like that, so that that's a turn off for
me. I like a nigga that I gotta like kind of like get him
rolled up. But Stormy, this is the weirdest thing. And I just
whatever. I like a gal when you see him soft, his look really
really small. But that shit gets you like to grow. You like,
what's your daddy name? Yeah, yes, yes, yes, I come.
Damn, I'm gonna drink. I'm not gonna lie. I don't really
like the the showers because then I feel disappointed when it's nothing else there,
Like it's like you gained like an inch or two. It's like this.
It is it. And it's not to say that it's going to be small.
It's just the fact that it doesn't blossom. It makes it even feel
like explosion. I feel like I'm getting shirt changed here. It's a little
when you buy a fire crack in a box that load on you hitting the
ground, black pettle. I want me sparkle am eighty or some shitt like
bitch. I want to have to say, moving back there, brack it
off. I'm gonna get a hand like this bro all right, yes,
yes, I want to say back it up, tar on the dick.
That's what I want to do. I want to be like deeper and he'd
be like that's all. I gotta have nothing else for you, like nothing
it's not going for Had someone ever told me you don't have anything else.
No, they just keep trying, and he like, I know you trying,
but the fucking little engine that good. I come on, Thomas,
Yo, yo yo, I'm crying, y'all. This fucking air here is
broke and I'm swearing my ass off with each and it's fucking sugella and I
can't take it. I can't take you. I'm not gonna make it,
y'all. I'm gonna pass out from dehadration. I can't girls go out?
Who bitch um? So I saw a post that said, now that we're
older, why y'all give Poppy your picture to put in the corner store?
Bitch? And I figured it out. I figured it out. That was
the first Explore page. That was the first Explore page. Thinking about it,
You go to a new neighborhood, you go in the corner store,
you see all the fun niggas up there. That was the first Explore page.
Yes, or you're go in the hair store. Everybody who stole in
the hair store before all that putses up there page, Yo, strem me
you onto some shit. How many sport pages? I haven't been on any
because I've always been like I think I'm not photogenic. You didn't do go
to photo star. No, my sisters did. I would take them down
here, but I never did it. You ain't never took a picture like
this? None, I have none. It isn't that why I have not.
I've always been like ugly in pictures. I felt, hold on,
hold on. You ain't never put on a wife beat or some gauchos and
a belt that had your name on it and with the photo star and took
your picture. Nope, not the diamond belt. Nope. Yes, no,
I never start. Yes, I've always been so weird with pictures like
serious, I don't believe you. Promise. I called my sister and I'm
always took a bunch of I'm like like this and a w from on the
floor. Are you like this? Oh? I got the picture, but
you got the white pillar in the background, not me. And everybody had
that swoop to the side or the pump or order pony tail with a flip.
Yes, you know what I'm saying. I like you. No,
I've never I don't know why I like I said. I've always though I
was not photogenic, so I never ever took those pictures, which I wish
I did. Looking back. Yes, but you don't even say shit.
They all they are all that, They're all like. I don't know not
one person who just go back to, Oh my god, I look so
cute in this photo star for nowhere. No one is your yearbook picture,
cute year I look older in my yearbook picture than I'm like, No,
I think it was the eyebrows. I think you look older. I think
you look older than you were back then, because I look older too.
I'm like, I'm like, yes, Like I think I didn't catch up
to my age. So I was about twenty six because like everything up until
I was like twenty six, I look like I'm forty two. I don't
make it there. Yeah, but I was there already. But bare Benjamin,
but that's going on here, No real shit, I don't know how
it happened like that. Hmmm. And now here's the thing. They always
say, black don't crack unless you smoke it. Oh so what if you
made it up? Becau go ahead? What if we're not crack and we
just look old when we're young and shit, so that when we get old
we just now like our ain't. Maybe that's very true, but through me,
that's weird. No, you gott me fuck them because I think it's
very I think it's true because literally I feel like I look older back there,
you've a hold like something. Baby you're in a picture. It's my
baby lay sucking mom. Yea life. But the be like how old are
you look good? Yeah? Yeah, I can't do what. I don't
know. St me. You got me thinking too hard. But I'm just
saying like I think it's a thing. And then also I think it was
also our fashion choices, Like we went through that error where everyone was dressed
like they was going to a business casual event. So mom that with them
skinny fucking eyebrows, we looked like we were fucking corporate, and we were
wearing like older lady hairstyuse yeah you know, like then we just kind of
like really like even it's braids or kind of like straight here or curly here.
Is nothing crazy, right, I was wearing like pumps you were because
that shit in my hair. I hated it. I can't tell because it
was free. I always wanted French rules. No, it was a mess.
I always wanted French roles. I always wanted fingerwaves. I had you
have fingerwaves, and she just to be trying to dumb shit on me.
I was like eight, Like, bitch, I'm going on the second grade,
bitch, ain't going to banquet? Or why are you fingerwaves? She
was a here. So I was trying to hunh it out with me and
my mom was ling to do it, like Mom, what's up? Wow?
I know I know you would shop a shit on Eastern Man. Do
you remember the big socks with east you have? Yes? I really want
to do that again. I'm here for that. That's so cute. I
want to do that. Yes, are you gonna wear with jelly with the
Jelly sandals you have to? Yes, hard bottoms. Yes, you can't
walk around on the inding else. Yes, one thousand percent. Now when
y'all see us out here with this ship, don't hate to play it,
hate game. Don't hate to play it, hate the game. Okay,
that's it and that's all all right. Um, so we both have a
like successful podcast. Thank you for seeing my podcast successful? Absolutely absolutely.
Um. I don't know about you, but I don't have the most supportive
family in the world. Right. They don't come to all the shows and
they don't repost everything. But I realized that they support me and I know
that they support me now because they stop asking me when I'm gonna get a
man, and now they just be like, oh, I see you doing
your thing. I'm so proud of you. And I'm like, really because
two years ago at Thanksgiving and was where your fucking man? As? Now
all of a sudden is keep doing your things? Sis? How how we
get here? What about? What about that man? You said? I
need? What about them kids? I needed to have people say I think
fee me feel like if you either you have a man or you can be
broke bright. So it's like, if I have a man, I'm okay
being broke, Yeah, because you gotta dick at home. I was right,
But I feel like if you got a good career going for yourself,
I was like, oh man, now you independent? Yeah, you know,
so I feel like you can do one or the other for your family,
right, but you know we want both. I want it at all.
I want these cobwebs knocked off this COOCHI yes, that's bank heavy too.
Yes see what I'm saying. I'm gonna talk my ship, my podcast
as well. You wit everything. I want it all literally right, but
your feem me do that? Like my mom will always be like, you
know, I got the voice my mom be like, you need to get
a man, and I'll be like my mom when you're gett a man.
We've been all get a man. Oh no, we tell you what to
do where you leave by example, says and I love her leave my example
be like single poor for vore. Yeah please. I love being se right
now, stormy. Yeah. I live the life of a girlfriend and a
wife like forever. Being single right now it's the best thing ever. Just
ghost of niggas not not responding to them messages, dabbling dabbling back, and
I'm like, uh, I thought you was gonna be I'm cool, I'm
good. I'm gonna love that. Actually I'm good. Who're gonna check me?
Boo? That's hard? Who're gonna check me? Boo? Yo?
I don't know about you. Right. So I've been doing a single shit
and I'm like, you know, maybe I need to expand my horizons.
And all these young niggas is really trying to show my ass up, like
doing the damn thing for me. I don't they older? Man? My
ex husband's younger than me. Where did these new batchel young niggas come from?
Or maybe I just never dabbled into the young nigga. Well, they
came from Mexico. I'm doing avocados. They are right, seriously, because
they go along and they're fun, and they got that shit together. Ain't
no broken little voice. What the fuck happened? They got that ship together.
That generation is one it. Yeah, don't put them in, don't
put them in the corner. Bring maybe at the corner, like best with
like a young guy. Young guys are fun. I mean, I guess
I can do a TikTok or two. I guess you can. That be
fun, that'd be fun. Stort me. Try you don't like young guys.
You like guys your age. I just never tried. I don't know.
I'm the queen. No, I'm just now starting to like dip my
feet in young niggas. Really. Yeah, see it's it's a generational thing
for my family. My mom as somebody younger, somebody younger, Like we
just don't do old man. My family all does older men. Really.
Yeah yeah, they all do older men right. Yeah, Now hold on,
you know what the fucking niggas in the comments gonna say, dating ran
through all the niggas day age. Now they gotta gip back into the young
niggas you see black women. This is why you're gonna stay single forever.
I would never date a girl like her. Fuck y'all in advance. Please
let me let you know right if you see me in the street, you
would want some pussy. So don't even sit there and crack your lift to
say like she too, Oh she don't, she's she's that No bitch,
I'm that bitch. If you see me in the streets, you will want
to lick the seat of my panties. Yes, so please don't, please
don't or please don't because I might listen. Oh, you just give it
to him. He just licked the seat, Yes, like you can have
it. He just licked the sea. You can have it. I'm just
saying, like, I just don't like when people try to pre judge,
like, oh, your age, you just old, you older. You
want to hear a little bit as girl talk shit experience a woman, yes,
you know what I'm saying. And experience don't mean ho. No people
think when you say you experienced it mean you a hole. Yeah. I
don't let anybody fuck. Yes, I foo, I want to fuck that
part because that part I don't be safe about it, and I'm some fun.
Don't judge me. Experience just means I learned how to deal with certain
type of niggas, and it's gonna be harder for a certain type of nigga
to take advantage of me, That's all. And I feel like that's when
intimidates them. They don't like when you're like a strong, confident woman,
right. They like when you kind of like take the back seat. But
I don't know how to do that. I've been like driving forever like relationships,
like that's just what I do, you know, So it takes a
really really strong man to like kind of control me. Yeah, I'm not.
I don't even draw my something like that. But I know what I
want, and we know what you want. It's hard to like let anybody
lead you. I don't think I'm out of control. I just know that
I'm good at what the fuck I do. Period. So if you want
to lead me, you gotta show me that you good at what the fuck
you do. Like you got come with some references, some something you have
to leave by example. If you can't leave by example, I'm not following
you. Yeah, And it's like somebody telling you like, how to do
your job, how to how to lead your podcast, and they don't have
a podcast. You can't give me that advice because you don't know what it
takes to do what I do. And then they get offended when you ask
show me your podcast where you've done all this? Yes? How? And
I'm not afraid to ask those questions, you know, And I feel like
women should be able to stand up and back. Look, this is what
I'm doing, this is what I enjoyed doing. If you don't like,
to get the funk out of here, I want to date with a guy.
He said, I don't like your podcast. Long as you were talking
about I said, well, why the fun did you put it away?
There? Give me the fucking bill? Give him the bill. It wasn't
the nigga what the Apple Bay? Wasn't it was? I know he was
doing check at the check and I know you lying. Yes, he was
out of pocket. I know. I don't I want to end this ship
right now because I know you lying lying him. He was out of pocket
and he was a friend of a friend and I enjoyed like he was a
good guy, but he just had too much to say. How you're going
to tell me you don't like my podcast on a date with me? Yeah?
Yeah, who runs the podcast? What are you saying right now?
He was. I think he wanted me to be like, oh, well
that's just not really me, and like, yeah, that's just my you
know what I do on a podcast, Like I'm on here with no notes.
We just busting it up. This this is my life how I talk.
Yeah, if you don't like it, and get the fuck on why
you come? Why are you here? What you come? Bo? Why
are you here? You know what? One thing niggas never run out of
is the audacity. Say it all the time, y'all? The audacity?
How the audacity? Um? Dan? How are we doing on time?
We got like no, twenty minutes? Okay great? Can we get into
some edibles? Sure? All right. So the edible portion of the show
is when we read questions that people sit in and it could be questions things
they want advice on, whole stories whatever. Okay. Now, if you
guys want to say yours in, you can d m at Stormy p Pea
or at Chocolate Chip and Sip, or if you have a longer store,
you can email inquiries at stormyp dot com. So the first one. You
went to a person's house expecting sex and it doesn't happen. What's your exit
strategy? Oh? Is it for the man or a woman or it doesn't
matter. First of all, this was sent in by a man. And
my problem is you'll never go to a girlhouse expecting some couchie. If you
get some couchie, you get some couchie, but you don't never go in
expecting the couchie. Yeah, that's audacity right there. Yes, what made
you think you deserve couchie? I just got here. You get what I'm
saying, Like, and I want to know. It's so many things to
that question. Right, have you been having sex right for a very long
time so I would just jump off? So you popped up and that was
your that was your thing? Then cool, that's different. And I'm not
gonna tell you to come over. I know I can't know sex with you.
You get what I'm saying. If that was the situation. But if
you was dating me and you came up over here trying to fuck me,
and you that you didn't get any pussy, they all that just mean that
he just don't get no pussy and you don't need nothing. I'm not giving
to you. I'm trying to figure out what made him think. Okay,
I'm trying. I'm gonna trying to be reasonable here, I'm trying to be
reasonable. Yes, what made him think he was getting coochie? Go?
She had they had the funck before she had to tell she had to see
him some kind of net picture. She had the sense that come over.
Yeah, yeah, she had to do that. I mean, what else,
Bacon bank, he's getting pussy? Had been direct come get this,
come get this pussy and text I don't even know. I can't. Okay,
So he thinks he's getting coochie. He's not kidding the coochie. What's
the exit strategy? You know, I'm a good Texter and call me and
I'm gonna say it's that emergency. For sure. If you don't have friends
that are willing to call you and saying some emergency, somebody's been in a
car accident, and if they're not willing to go on YouTube and play eat
our sounds in the background, they're not your real friends. Okay, sell
it baby from me. You're my friend and up. Yeah. Wow.
If you have if you have to exit or some sneaky shit. Don't go
back though, that could be the last time we get together. Because if
you were left because like you know, pussy, don't come back. Bro.
If y'all haven't had sex before, oh and you thought she was getting
coochie and you didn't it and you now have to pull the non on money
emergency, I agree, don't go back. Don't go back now. If
y'all got you know, some type of rapport. You know, maybe he
came on last minute, she ain't fel comfortable telling you X Y and Z
cool, you might can revisit the well. But if not, then don't
go back, I say. Or if he went over there and they had
sex before and she ain't give give him a sex, she must have found
his other girlfriend on Instagram and she had attitude so she would give a nigga
no pussy. He didn't even know what was going on. It had to
be some crazy shit her mind. Mid Or she got some new dick and
didn't feel like doubling back. I did not want to double back like some
new dick will make you not giving the old nigga no pussy no more.
I've done it because now you're thinking like, oh my god, I can't
believe I settle for this shit, like I'm way too good for this.
Yes, yes, I mean I think I've been blessed enough. I think
like I'm like guy's favorite, because every time I get a new dick,
it always a bigger and bigger and bigger, and why it's never like smaller?
What? Yes, except for your friend and that and that and that's
to restart you. You maxed out. You had to start from zero.
Said all right, now, says sit down, listen, let me gather
some more for a second. Hold on a minute, please do yes?
Um? Yeah, okay, next question, Um, how do you stay
friends with a woman that friends zoned you but you want to be more than
friends? Listen, listen. Once a woman friends zone you, there is
no going back. Theres no what, no way, It is no way,
seriously, because you know, I think if I ever had a friend,
or I have plenty of them, and they want to fuck me,
and I don't want to fuck you, it's nothing you can do to change
my pussy's mind. We're in the coops together, me and her. So
when I don't care if you whine and dying me, if you take me
to Italy, you're not getting this pussy because whatever you did to start to
get you in a friend zone, you can't get out. And I won't
even say it's just having sex. Like if I go on a date or
two with somebody and I'm like, yo, like you know, I like
you, let's see what's up, and they're like, no, I think
we should just be friends. I don't want to be your fucking friend.
No, because I wanted to get married. Okay, so when you tell
me you're not interested, I'm not gonna stop wanting to get married just because
you tell me you're not interested. Like I have to not talk to you.
I have to now goost you and now you're looking at me like I'm
crazy. You have to not exist anymore, disappear going without a trace,
Like did you hear you have to? Have you ever been friends zoned by
man? Yeah? Really? Yeah? Oh not gonna lie. I've been
friends zoned by three men my whole life. Yeah, how did that happen?
Coincidentally, the niggas just I won't say that. I'm not gonna put
that on everybody. Um, one of them just decided that my podcast was
too much. That's not somebody they wanted to be involved with pussy. I
don't like you, bro, we don't like you, we don't, we
don't like you. Um. The other one was like, a, I
want to call you a bitch, but I respect you, so I'm not
gonna call you a bitch. But he was a little too emotional for me,
and he was caught up on something that had happened in the past that
was completely understandable, but couldn't let it go. Couldn't let it go.
I don't, I don't. And the other one just genuinely wasn't interested,
but like the idea of who I was, Nigga. I don't want to
be your friend, yes, yes, I want to be your friend.
Yes I am trying to groggle your kids. I don't want to be a
friend. Yes, oh yes, Stormy. That's really you know. I
think with the podcast thing, that's hard for us in them because for me,
I think a lot of guys would want to be with me for the
I don't know, I don't see cloud. It's cloud. It's fucking cloud.
Because it's like we don't have really enough in the comment, but you're
trying to want to down me to like so I can say we together or
something girl last year. I'm on a date and we're like half an hour
into the date. My man pulls off his phone and starts FaceTime and niggas
talking about you see who I'm with? You're lying all my mom grave,
all my mom grave. You see who I'm with? You see what I'm
volume saying, big moves, you know, big things, got my little
dip with me. This is our first date. This is our first date.
This is our first date. That was your last day, right,
it was our last day. Don't be excited over me, even if you
like me a lot, don't like show it. Don't be a fan boy.
I don't need that. I'm getting me fan boy, but like seriously,
like, don't because that's that's not attractive. No, no, and
I would rather you do that. After you leave me, you can go
call you niggas, sneak a picture of me and send it to your niggas.
Okay, cool, yes, but don't do it like in my face
doog. The first call, I was like, you know what, I'm
spider Man. Everybody gets one, yea, everybody gets one. I can
let it go. When he made the second and the third calls a lot,
I said, oh, damn my baby, dad guy dropped my son
off my own. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out
of here during me. That's because you listen. I feel like men went
like a week, did it? No, we're in the date facetab all
our friends snook around way Oh sure that's ridiculous. Yes, I want you
not to. I've been dating this guy for like three or four weeks now,
and perfect guy. He's a doctor. He didn't know about my podcast.
Just show Yes is it perfect? Where you meant him? Man?
I met him like the devil ship. Yes, all you change is some
shit he was getting. Yes, yes, yess yess yess tell me more
than Nigga's a version. I can't make this shit up, I said.
I feel like at this point people are just bringing me content like hunt and
take this content. Yeah, you don want to do what it is.
He's a version Stormy who he told you this? Listen. We went on
like four or five dates. Yeah, every time. The day were fun.
We went to the he is a member of a country club. Not
like to top golf. Then country car. Yeah, I mean you walking
day, mister, I mean like, yeah, girl, we go to
we went we went golfing, climbing, to all these fun dates. Yeah,
and then the date he was always just like like all right, see
you later, and to you to your car, and my whole mind,
my whole side of my mind, then list side. I was like,
bitch, hen my TOOCHI looks would have been like me too, like what's
up right? So one day I was like, I'm just gonna ask him,
and I was like, why do you guys trying to fuck me?
And he laughed and we gave me the laugh. I knew it was something
coming, he said. He said, I knew you would asked me this
question. And I said, what's going on? He said, he's hurting,
he said. For many years, for religion reasons, I was,
you know, not into yeah, able to have sex and everything else.
She said. But when I got in college, I became a doctor.
I was a school for so many years, I was focus, he said.
Once I start meeting women and let them know that I'm wondering I kind
of have sex. I thought I was a virgin, and they would always
slop calling while coming around, how old is he? Thirty three? What
they say, thirty three is Jesus year. You're heard that before yeah,
yeah, yeah right. It's like, so he gotta he gotta even getting
across and die or get some pussy, Like, what's up, bro?
What I don't want to get I'm not taking them me in virginity. So
I met girl too. This's gonna stop calling. I mean, I like
him, black kid. Don't then okay, okay, listen, I can't
do that. Won't you? Won't you let him, you know, get
some pussy somewhere else and they're like, you'll come back when you're done.
I would love for it to happen, but I feel like the first pussy
that thirty three year old man gonna get, he gonna he don't'ta get married.
Damn he a doctor. He had the country club and nigga ain't small.
He is six one girl, he grown me. You trip at each
I don't know. I don't know. Do I feel like we agree on
a lot of stuff. I think this is the one. I mean,
it's gonna be weird till head because you know what I'm gonna teck that,
I'm gonna set the expectations for the next bitch. Then what you know what
I'm saying? Then you get married, like the fuck I don't want to
get married against Storming, whichever give me a shot. You're drawing, no
what, no, no what. My husband is still my best friend,
so he should be happy for you and your husband and your virgin. You
deserve a vision, you deserve someone. No, I can't do it.
I'm so like, I can't lie. It took me a step back,
and I think he realizes it. I think he's used to it because the
Grandma version they came back up. But you know what, that says a
lot about me and my whoism, because why I was that all Russian sex?
Like? Why me? He's been a month? He like, come
down, since you're hype. I'm like, you're right, I ain't gonna
hold you. My my my couter would have been screaming, screaming, screaming,
because because you know what I feel like on the level of sex.
I three levels of sex. Right, it's beginner, it's experienced, and
it's a port star. You know where I'm at, Stormy, you know
I port star? Like, how am I gonna like have such this version?
I gotta tell them how I like to. I said that I don't
want to teach dog. I don't want to teach. I'm exhausted. I
do not want to teach. I am good on that. That'd be a
lot, Like you know, how will your mom be teaching you stuff?
And she'd be like if Johnny had free I'll be in at jown. Like
if you look at your jobs like, it's not gonna be fun. And
if you imagine the first low to be so huge, oh my god,
I don't want that. It don't matter, Like as soon as he rubs
it on you, it's gonna explode. You're gonna miss it. But you
know, but as a as a grown as a woman, I like to
suck dick first, Like I don't like to be like just put it in
me. I want to test it out. Yeah you know, so what
if it was a low and it's like a girl, I would die choke.
I just swallow, say you know what I'm saying, Like, I
don't know, it's not for me. I like him. He's a great
person, but he got brothers. I don't know how to see. I
asked more questions we were doing on the days I was so we were about
the sex that I was around his life. I was just like that the
just screeching in the background, just yelling yes, um, okay, one
more Yes. How do you know when your whole face is done? I'm
just trying to figure that out, like, you know, something, to
be honest with you guys doing I think I always play a lot, but
to be honest, I just go asked my whole face two years ago,
like from I think the age of fifteen until I was like in college and
I was married and I had a baby. You know, you know I
was doing all these things. I was just Oh, I thought I was
a born wife from the beginning. So I never had a whole face.
I never had a one night stand. Those are the stand I had a
one night stand before. I've never had a threeson before. I've not done
I haven't done a lot of things. Yeah, so my whole fage is
started to be a year or two ago and then and my whole face is
still pretty boring. I think I think your whole face has been pretty exciting,
so that conversation be dad today, right. I think I think your
whole phase is over when you just don't want to do it no more,
when you find somebody who slow you down, Yeah, when you find somebody
who makes you not want to be a whole anymore, or or if you
get lonely enough, you're your whole phase will end. What do you do?
Buy a donk a cat? No? Like, sometimes you just get
sicker, fucking like sometimes you want somebody you can bring to Thanksgiving who're not
gonna catch feelings and be weird. Yes, no, you know what st
me. I feel like my whole phase has been the most the times I
had the least sex. I feel like stop been in the whole face.
I don't have as much sex as I've had when I was in relationships.
You know why? I think that is because we're willing to give the pussy
out when we try to hold on to it. That's when everybody be trying
to grab and snatch and get it. But when we're like willingly like he
got pussy for sale over here? Anybody anybody? You don't, you don't
give it out like nobody wants it like I don't. And I I would
love to find a friend that we had great sex, in great chemistry and
no one got jealous. We can have fun and not get a relationship right
now, let me be my best whole phase. You want to brow,
I do want to brow. I want to brow a homie and lover like.
I want those type situations, but you don't ever get those. Somebody
don't catch felling. Somebody gonna catch film. You ain't seen a rom com,
nigga. Somebody gonna catch fis somebody's gonna do it. Yes, so
yeah, hopefay, it's hard going your whole phase over. Like you said,
if you can get pregnant, that in your whole phase, immediately,
you're not a whole No more is this year? Baby mama? Who who?
Who? Who said that? Not me? Hit, I gotta plan
parenthood freaking flyer car not me, not me. I get a smashing real
fast. No not, I mean I'm never gonna stay. I'm all for
it. Listen, my boy correct on so what no no, no,
no, um listen each I loved having you here today. Please let the
people know where they can find you in. Yes, guys, so my
podcast base issha heart out each your heart out pot uh on Instagram, on
TikTok or on Twitter. Um eashta dot com makes you follow me? Nail,
I'm having a branch May seventh. Yes, yeah, I will be
there, be there, stormy Ye tell me about the heart Out, Eat
Your heart Out branch It's Bay seventh a limit. Mimosas were getting sucked up
Green Food three Chorus branch Um Rooftop Downtown thirtifin Sampson, guys, come through.
Tickets are online at east dot com or you can go on the Instagram
page and find a link there. So we've got a good time. It's
my first like live show, kind of being my supporters kind of thing.
Yeah, so yeah, definitely come out. It's a lot of fun.
Will the thirty three year old version be there? I don't think I want
to bring him out like I want to blame him a date. You know,
I ain't never had none of my holes at You can't bring hole to
shows that brings you into the beach. True true, but yes this you
follow me, um Me and Stormy we're like fully girls doing this podcast.
Hey listen, who's want us nob come on now? Ser I love to
see it. Um listen, follow me on a gram at Stummy p pe
a at chocolate Chip and sip And if you don't remember anything else, please
remember thirty three year old male virgins exist. I love you guys when I
see you next week. Peace Snatching at hookah, out your mouth boogy, what