Comedy Central Podcast. You heard my name is Jorge Guerra. If there'
s anyone who hasn' t found out I' m a deaf mute,
something you can read here. In addition, the first with j has written
it well the second with g is seen that this rock ended FP and such
when I present myself I usually go to the point and say that I am
metro asexual, that here many people stay like this thinking and I know that
it is curious a guy that reproduces by geming, not even by spores more
than I am metro asexual. It' s just that I give up my
hair, but I don' t fuck and where' s the fun.
You know. I' ve come to think that it' s because of
me that I have something to do with it. I also think that living
in Valladolid, because look bad boy of many. You know or if you
know the fame that girls have in Valladolid, I see that there is not
a group on Facebook that says I once said hello to a girl from Valladolid
and I almost took a host. I mean, I mean, if I
get the fuck out of here without fucking saying hello, you know what?
Another day I spend an aunt, I say later I throw myself out,
I get a shit. I say Maribel, I' m your fucking brother
to see that. You go to Valladolid, you meet an aunt, you
give her two kisses and she makes you the cobra. I mean, it
' s not normal. You put a computer on the Internet in Valladolid.
When you get the typical banner this of looking sluts in your area. I
always give to the one who does and I leave the circle to this looking,
searching, searching and in the end you send me alamanca. You know
that' s not a dick. I also told you I was waxing.
This isn' t about hobby. I' m saying it' s not
about hobby and there are guys who wax more and more. I know because
you don' t see hair in your urinals anymore, but mine is out
of necessity. You know, I was going for a man. I stayed
in a fucking monkey. Go say the human body seventy percent water. I
must be dry. You know, I don' t see my feet,
I mean fuck if I' m a hobbit. You know I can'
t go out in summer for a walk in my flip flops without being laughed
at I' m told where you' re going. That' s where
the bite is on the other side, so then they tell me the human
body is the perfect machine of shit. That' s why I' m
getting bald and I have hairs on my shoulders, so start using the gel
for my head. Shampoo to the rest of the body pussy. Then you
know the champuache that head and shoulders, if the only guy who used champu
with a criterion. I' m much more concerned about the hair that comes
out in places where I shouldn' t have hairs on my back, which
is that I look like a kiwi. All I mean, I sweat and
he turns his back on me like he' s cool with the quick watering
lawn. You know, it' s mud, because seriously, my ass
has hairs. You know, they call him bald a lot. I can
' t, you know. I crouch here, you think you' re
seeing an iwak with mumps. You know. It' s very frustrating when
I go with the coleras with the car. We do the typical thing that
guys do about pulling their asses out the window, that we do. You
don' t know how frustrating it is to get ahead of you with a
car and far from offending, it' s funny, look at a doggy,
look out and I' m going to throw it away. But now
that you know my name, you know where I' m from. You
know I' m padded. I' m gonna be more serious. I
' m going to talk about my real profession, and I' m a
veterinarian. Right, I took the race a long time ago. I think
the money had something to do with all this, and I' m glad
it' s already a professor. You know all that that by the laughs
I reduce that there is more than one graduate around here, because it is
curious, like everyone assumes that, by the fact of being a veterinarian,
I have to know everything about all the animals on earth. I mean,
they' ve come to ask me, I promise you, I hear Jorge
seen in a documentary that the furry Argentine armadillo, in long periods of starvation,
can become scavengers. That' s true. I' m so fucking
sorry, so go fucking vet. I don' t know if you think
there are armadillo- type subjects in the race, not for citizenship. They
don' t give you credit. No, fuck you, you know it
happens to me. It happens a lot when they know I' m a
veterinarian, they tell me ah vet, because my pussy has a cat MM
and there' s a pause. Not like waiting for my reaction, like
I gave a shit about the cat and the wedge. It' s like
I see a fucking computer, because my father has a mac but a half.
How you stayed there, but I fice uh, you fuck, I
worked at a veterinary clinic. I remember that the typical sign came with his
pet, a dog or a cat, because you know that people are not
dogs or cats. Then they tell me you' re a sea of dogs
or a cat. I mean, don' t call it weird, but
I' ve had beef chops. You know, the typical lady came to
me with her dog, a little dog, an ugly thing. I didn
' t know if a dog, a pendriife that shit and for her he
' s a gorgeous dog and he' s the smartest thing in the world.
He tells me if my animal is smart I put my shoes on,
I put on my coat, I take the leash and you know we go
to the street and I say smell it eh who it will have gone out
to. But deep down, that sincere lady, because imagine of the lady
who puts on her shoes, puts on her coat, grabs the leash,
goes to the door of the street sorry, goes the sofa and lies down.
You know, you have to be a lying bitch to make an anime.
That' s not done. Those like when you hook up a dick
and it' s got a tail. Those things aren' t done.
But I want to ask you one thing as a vet, and it'
s to leave and ask us stupid questions. You know, I understand that
if you have a professional friend, ask questions about respect, especially if computer
science complains a lot about questions. I have a professional friend, the Civil
Guard. I recognize that I ask you a lot of questions, guy where
are you going to put control tonight from how many grams is jail? It
' s true that you don' t pay in the putis things like that,
no, but the vets. Thanks to veterinarians you ask us a lot
of absurd questions and I' ve made a list of real questions that I
' ve been asked throughout my life. I tell you, Jorge, Jorge,
because they talk like that when I get pre- George, listen to
the dots that my bitch has in her belly. They' re bad,
I can cut them off. They' re nipples, Jorge, animals fart.
I say clearly they fart, but they don' t always have to
be blamed. Asume, Jorge, I have one or something that doesn'
t eat me anything. I tried thinking, I tried cans. I'
ve taken him to eat eggnogs and I don' t know what. You
recommend that by giving him ten euros and you want to buy him you know,
Jorge, I could put my freshwater fish in a saltwater aquarium I don
' t know why you can, but they would cook their eyes. Effect,
after Jorge, why dogs' hives smell of feet. Like this,
I don' t know. This is one of those things you have to
believe. It' s not like the sperm you' re winged about telling
me and continuing. Jorge, it' s true that if you give chocolate
to dogs they become blind. This is completely true. But, like people,
it' s not right to give them joints. And Jorge, it
' s true that drug dogs get drugs. That' s true. Uh,
and the best- kept secret is that the agents are all there,
too. But, well, I finished the race to get on with my
life and I decided to go to work abroad, to England, and I
say I decided to mark it because it was my choice. Not like now
that a lot of people are gonna have to throw' cause they' re
really bad. I ate in the feeling the poor is true is fatal.
You put work on Google. You don' t even get the lucky button,
you know. You hit the whole thing there and it comes out looking
for you, searching and I' m going to be sent to Salamanca looking.
You don' t get that, I mean. Maybe he meant downstairs,
maybe he meant it' s going well. Then he redirects you to
Google Maps and sends the fuck straight to you. Well. I saw they
needed vets in Yort and I went there. I didn' t know much
about that town, but the basics aren' t ham and they have a
duchess. I mean, if I get paid in black, they' ll
embroider it. I say there to the office receives me boss hallow Hor Yo
and Gover we the King hor YouTube i e at last things hout youdo and
you didn' t just ask me this already because they are very polite.
The English are like very correct, a roll in reverse of what happens in
Spain. Not that the rock falls on you, you fall for it,
but you get drunk and you fall for it. You don' t in
the English fall from fucking mothers to drunks and say fuck what' s miserable.
You know who educates them. The truth is that they educate you very
well in the sorry, but that they are small all sorrys want something,
sorry you want a bad Shorry beer. Here they educate us more at the
Please, you want something and the mother tells you and how they say it.
You say please and you take it away not what happens that they maintain
this education until they are older, we lose it and if you don'
t realize like when we ask for time on the street, no, I
mean, what ways are those that come to you a fact, I have
time. No, man, you don' t know. I have the
dilemma that I say if I tell him I' m not taking a shit,
I' m gonna freak him out. If I tell you if you
' re going to take my watch off, I mean, my solution is
that you say it. Hey, what do you say? That' s
how the Spaniards have no idea what England is at a geographical level. I
mean, I lived in a city called Stocon Trent, which probably doesn'
t sound like it. Don' t worry about the English either, I
mean it' s not serious, those in Terue, the British no,
but I was this with trend is famous because yesterday Robbie Williams and the captain
of the Titanic, a certain john Smith, who I say looks capped that
the same ton of a boat that makes you a pair of slippers. You
know, I mean, don' t look at the East guy from Italy,
the Concordia Coast guy. That frame a jones made me in full swing.
I didn' t fuck with you on a boat and then the bastard
got his ass kicked out, because I remember he was in this thing with
a train that, I repeat, is north and calls me a bird.
My mother picked up the phone. Jorge told me, you' re okay,
something happened to you. He' s here. I say thank you
for calling Mom, but it happened. You know it' s so serious
and tell me it says nothing that they' ve planted bombs in London.
I' m saying you' re worried about the blast wave, so they
put shrapnel on it or something so you can see that we have no idea
what England is at the geographic level. Notice as everyone who leaves in England
and no matter where, no matter what. The north of the south,
the east, the west becomes that of London. That' s right.
I' ve been London' s colleague. For my mother, he was
the son of London. You had to see your proud friends by now.
There is, then, a son who is in London and I am not
a mother. I saw well this with trend that is near Manchester. So
that' s why I have a son who' s doing a Manchester in
London. Sometimes, and before I say goodbye to you, I want to
make a reminder to an English woman who already left us, but well,
it was pretty important. Not Margaret Ttcher, and I want to remember her
to reassure all those monarchists here in the room who watch TV because I guess
they' re worried, because they think that if this woman being the iron
lady, then in the end it didn' t go so well. No
and of course, we king with so much operation, so much fall,
well, but I want to reassure you because he will not be of iron.
But fuck our titanium kings, that holds much longer. So, thank
you so much for your attention. Thank you very much.