WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.480 --> 00:00:08.880
Karen. Yes, I've got something
on my mind. I know, I

2
00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:14.080
heard that big sigh. Yeah,
it's something I'm struggling with a little bit,

3
00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:16.399
but something I think it's really important
we talk about, all right.

4
00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:22.079
You know how a few weeks ago
I went on a silent solitary retreat.

5
00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:27.519
Yes, it was not silent by
choice. Not silent. That's true.

6
00:00:27.559 --> 00:00:30.239
You had no one to talk to, that's true. That's true. So

7
00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:33.920
I went on this solitary retreat,
and I guess I should back up at

8
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:35.880
the end of last year. Towards
the end of the year, I was

9
00:00:35.920 --> 00:00:41.280
so unbelievably burnt out that I thought
I was gonna lose my mind. Right,

10
00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:49.280
So an unbelievably generous gesture Christmas time, you got me a solitary retreat.

11
00:00:49.320 --> 00:00:53.439
You sent me out to the mountains
I did of Virginia, to an

12
00:00:53.439 --> 00:00:57.920
eco lodge, which I thought was
really cool to go spend some time five

13
00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:03.240
days by myself out in the middle
of the woods with no cell service,

14
00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:08.239
very spotty WiFi, and really no
digital devices. I thought, I really

15
00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:14.640
thought that it was exactly what I
needed. I needed to disconnect. I

16
00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:17.159
need to be in the middle of
nature. I need to reconnect with nature

17
00:01:17.159 --> 00:01:19.680
when it needed to be by myself
without any electronics around me, so I

18
00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:25.359
can actually reconnect with who I am. However, when I got there,

19
00:01:26.120 --> 00:01:29.480
although the place was really cool,
it's in the middle of winter, so

20
00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:32.079
there's not a lot of people in
this equal lodge, it was really me

21
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:38.400
and zero of my closest friends.
Really, it was me and no friends.

22
00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:42.799
No one. Did you see anybody? I saw like the maintenance guy.

23
00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:45.599
That's right, that one time.
Briefly I saw the maintenance guy,

24
00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:49.879
and I did not see any other
guests at all, although I did see

25
00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.599
evidence that they were there. Things
had been moved. Maybe it wasn't people.

26
00:01:55.239 --> 00:01:59.000
Oh don't get me started on that. But there was garbage left in

27
00:01:59.079 --> 00:02:04.359
places, There were dishes in the
sink or washed dishes. I mean,

28
00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:10.039
there's definite, definitely evidence. I
heard voices speaking things like that, but

29
00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:15.479
I didn't see anybody until the last
day. As I was leaving. Well,

30
00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:20.400
all I had to do was meditate
and read, and that to me

31
00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:29.599
seems like heaven. However it was
I was. I wasn't jiving with it.

32
00:02:29.719 --> 00:02:32.639
The vibe was not right with me
for some reason. I wasn't enjoying

33
00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:36.039
it. Every time that we were
able to find a way to talk,

34
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.039
to communicate, I would tell you, like, it's not I don't know,

35
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:40.360
it's like and it's not exactly what
I'm saying. It wasn't working.

36
00:02:40.439 --> 00:02:44.439
Yeah, it wasn't working. They
weren't distressing. The still felt anxious.

37
00:02:44.520 --> 00:02:47.879
That's right, that's right. And
at the like the last day or so

38
00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:53.039
when I extended the trip hoping that
I could maybe find some way to find

39
00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:59.639
that zen, the last days,
when I finally started going, oh okay,

40
00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:02.719
I'm starting to feel it was just
a slight start to feel because then

41
00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:07.879
the next day I had to go. Well fast forward to about a week

42
00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.439
later, and I was meditating and
all of a sudden it hit me.

43
00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.680
It smacked me in the middle of
the forehead exactly what had been happening,

44
00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:23.759
which was this is the important part. The problem was that I was so

45
00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:30.120
addicted to my devices. I'm so
addicted. I was so addicted to being

46
00:03:30.360 --> 00:03:32.919
entertained constantly, to constantly being on
my phone, to my computer and my

47
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.199
tablet on something I always, I
always to be doing something that the act

48
00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:45.000
of me not having that anymore and
being forced to sit and meditate or read

49
00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:50.840
and do nothing else for five blissful
days. Was the opposite of blissful.

50
00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:57.000
I actually I went through withdrawls.
I was having the DTS. I was

51
00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:00.000
having the junkie. Hey man,
you got any more of that electronic on

52
00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:04.520
you that I couldn't distress because I
was going crazy. I was going through

53
00:04:04.520 --> 00:04:09.759
withdrawal symptoms. When I came home. The first thing I told you I

54
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:14.280
wanted to just be like I wanted
the family to put away the devices for

55
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:17.079
a while. I wanted to just
be. I couldn't as I'm making my

56
00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:21.399
coffee, which takes all of five
minutes, maybe ten minutes, I couldn't

57
00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:25.920
just sit there and wait for my
coffee to be brewed. I had to

58
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.839
be on my phone or check my
emails, or watch a show or something

59
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:31.920
on my electronics. I had to
be doing something. I had to be

60
00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:38.199
constantly entertaining myself, and the act
of not having that made it really difficult

61
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:41.680
to just be. I know,
I mean, you are preaching to the

62
00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.160
choir. I hate to say I
told you so, but it's been years,

63
00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:46.839
yeah that we've been having this conversation, but I'm I'm glad you finally

64
00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:49.920
got it. It's very, very
true because then all of a sudden,

65
00:04:49.959 --> 00:04:55.800
as I'm thinking back on my trip, on my solitary retreat, it was

66
00:04:56.399 --> 00:05:00.240
glorious. It was exactly what I
needed. It really was. Had I

67
00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.000
only not been addicted to these devices, I would have been able to really

68
00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:10.279
truly enjoy Karen five days, I
know, reading, meditating, that's all

69
00:05:10.519 --> 00:05:14.120
in the woods, in nature,
hiking. Yes, And I could tell

70
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:15.879
how bad it was because here you
had the chance to go to these incredible

71
00:05:15.959 --> 00:05:20.800
caverns, lary caverns. And your
response to your initial response to that when

72
00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:23.399
you told me about it, was
like, well, the driver was really

73
00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:25.319
stressful at first. It was like, oh, it's an hour away,

74
00:05:25.319 --> 00:05:27.360
and I think I'm going to go. I'm like, what do you mean,

75
00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:29.560
You're not going to go? You
have to go? You're only an

76
00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:34.079
hour away? Yeah? Yeah,
And and in fact it was the cavernter

77
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:40.000
spectacular. No, I saw the
pictures, truly spectacular, But it was

78
00:05:40.240 --> 00:05:43.360
all I could focus on is the
stress, the anxiety I was going through

79
00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:47.639
because what I was feeling was withdrawal
symptoms. So when I look around after

80
00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:53.680
that, at everywhere I go,
everybody has their nose on their phone.

81
00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:58.120
Yep, all the time, all
the time, all the time. And

82
00:05:58.199 --> 00:06:00.040
that's the problem. When you're sitting
with a group of people, you're like

83
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:04.240
texting or posting or whatever something that
people you have no idea who they even

84
00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:08.879
are, instead of appreciating the people
that are surrounding you and talking to them.

85
00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:11.160
Not you, but I just mean
everyone in general, right right.

86
00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:15.319
And I think that we as humans, as souls, humanity as a whole,

87
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:19.879
we are meant to take time to
do nothing. We're meant to be

88
00:06:20.120 --> 00:06:26.519
quote unquote bored. We're meant to
be in moments of silence because it's what

89
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:30.199
helps our brains to process, our
minds, to connect, our spirits to

90
00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:34.000
reach out, and that's what also
allows the creative juices to flow. Because

91
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:38.600
when you're sitting there being board,
you think of something to do, or

92
00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:41.319
you just daydream, which is a
wonderful thing. People are like, oh,

93
00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:44.079
you're just daydreaming, wasting time,
but you're not. Well, you're

94
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.560
connecting with yourself. You're connecting with
your higher self, with your inner self.

95
00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:50.639
And that's a lost in our society
these days. It's completely lost.

96
00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:55.279
I know I had lost it completely, and the realization hit me that,

97
00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:58.879
oh my gosh, I had this
perfect opportunity, and I blew it because

98
00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:03.720
I was so addicted to my electronics. So I urge everyone that's hearing this

99
00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:09.120
right now. It's going to be
hard. It's going to be maybe five

100
00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:14.519
days of terrible withdrawal symptoms. But
put your phones down for a while when

101
00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:17.600
you're brewing your coffee. Don't check
your emails. Don't check your Facebook or

102
00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:20.519
your Instagram, your Twitter's, your
whatever's. Don't just put it. Put

103
00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:24.839
it down. First thing in the
morning, when I woke up, I

104
00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:28.480
picked up my phone to see what
messages I had gotten. The last thing

105
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.680
I do before I went to bed. I checked my phones before I rolled

106
00:07:30.680 --> 00:07:33.360
over to go to sleep, to
check and see there's any last minute messages.

107
00:07:34.439 --> 00:07:39.160
I'm forcing myself not to do that
anymore. I don't check my email

108
00:07:39.240 --> 00:07:42.319
on my phone until I get to
work now, which is good. Hours

109
00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:46.240
later, hours later. It will
keep. It will keep, and it

110
00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:48.800
will be difficult at first, but
it's so important because now I'm at the

111
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:54.319
point where I have a long way
to go yet, but I'm starting to

112
00:07:54.360 --> 00:08:01.279
reconnect with that inner self that reminds
me of how important in space actual my

113
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:05.639
alone time is. And by alone
time, I could be with a whole

114
00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:09.000
bunch of people. But I'm just
sitting here and not doing anything other than

115
00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:11.519
being present with the people that are
around me, and that, to me

116
00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.279
is magic. Well, I don't
think that would necessarily be alone time.

117
00:08:16.360 --> 00:08:20.199
I think unfortunately people are doing now
when they're sitting with a group of people

118
00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:22.800
and they're on their phones. It's
not that it's alone time, it's isolating.

119
00:08:22.839 --> 00:08:26.399
They're isolating themselves from the connections that
they could be making. So I

120
00:08:26.439 --> 00:08:31.600
think being present isn't being alone.
But you don't have to go out to

121
00:08:31.720 --> 00:08:33.679
the mountains for five days. You
can just you know, go for a

122
00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:37.159
walk around the block and have your
alone time. And I think it'll be

123
00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:41.320
so much more impactful now than it
was prior to this, because you're appreciating

124
00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:43.399
it more and you're in the present. Mark, Yep, you're absolutely right.

125
00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:48.320
But what I meant by alone time
is alone with my own thoughts.

126
00:08:48.600 --> 00:08:50.960
Gotcha. But still, if you're
with a bunch of people, you know,

127
00:08:50.639 --> 00:08:56.600
unless they're really boring, which are
none of our friends are not at

128
00:08:56.639 --> 00:09:00.600
all, which is which is amazing, which is wonderful. But good people,

129
00:09:00.679 --> 00:09:03.440
we do have good, really good
friends, a good community. But

130
00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:09.519
when I see people in a restaurant
across from each other on their each individual

131
00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:13.600
phones. It breaks my heart.
Now, Yeah, it's terrible because we're

132
00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:16.519
all there as a society and I
think, I hate to say it,

133
00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:18.519
but it was, it was meant, it was on purpose, it was

134
00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:24.360
design. We're programmed. We are
a society right now of well instant gratification.

135
00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:28.120
You can't be bored. You have
to have your attention constantly fed of

136
00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:33.600
consumers. Yeah. And another problem
that this causes is if you're with someone

137
00:09:33.639 --> 00:09:35.720
and you're on their phone. I
know I felt like this many times.

138
00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:41.159
The person that's not on their phone
feels, you know, less important.

139
00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:45.399
Yeah, and that's another reason to
put your phones down. But I think

140
00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:50.720
the most important message here is that
we lived, at least us old folks

141
00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:56.000
lived without cell phones for a very
long time and we had a very happy

142
00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:58.919
life. We had the best childhood
we did. We did. Yeah,

143
00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:05.120
but now I feel for my daughter
who never got to go through that,

144
00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:11.080
who loses her mind when she is
bored for a minute and a half.

145
00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:13.840
It's that technology that we need a
break from. It is it is we

146
00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.840
need to take a break. So
I urge you if you're hearing this.

147
00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:24.120
Please do yourself a favor and reconnect
with your silence inside you. Put away

148
00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:28.840
the electronics for a while. We
live in this world now we have to

149
00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:33.720
use electronics, there's no getting around
it. But don't let it completely dominate

150
00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:39.080
your life. Don't feel like you
have to check your phone five times every

151
00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:43.879
minute. You can put the phone
away for an hour and not think twice

152
00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:46.759
about it and just be sit there
in silence by yourself. Enjoy your coffee,

153
00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:52.320
feel how it tastes, how it
feels going down, how you feel

154
00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:56.279
sitting in your couch while you're listening
to the birds chirp, whatever it is.

155
00:10:56.440 --> 00:11:03.120
Just sit quietly and remove that addiction
from you, and you are going

156
00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:07.799
to be a much happier person,
hands down. All right, that's all

157
00:11:07.799 --> 00:11:09.919
I got it. Karen, Oh, that was a pretty good guy.

158
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:11.879
Thanks for thinking so