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Welcome to Softcore History. What is
up? Welcome back to Softcore History.

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I am your host for the week, Rob Fox and I am joined as

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always by Jake Goldman and Dan Rejester. How are you doing today, kids,

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I'm good, I'm great. I
like how we start his podcast and

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Dan was like, I can tell
I can see in your face you like,

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I don't think I'm gonna speak.
I don't need to put your voice

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out into the world. Speak softly, carry big stick. M That doesn't

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work for an audio first situation.
Please, people, I don't have a

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stick, buddy. Oh we're telling
about people. Are like driving to work.

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You're not saying anything. You're like
Dan power. I can tell he's

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being powerful. In the corner over
there, Dan is a really exuding a

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mood. They can hear it.
I gotta pull over. This is fucking

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crazy. Too hot, too hot. Oh it's my shadow, dad today,

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it is your shadow. Do we
ever explained to the people what shadow

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day is? I don't know.
Everyone at the table where I was drinking

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yesterday had not heard of shadow days, So I don't think it's we're friends

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with them, I know. So
we did this thing specifically for Jake's birthday

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a couple of years ago where Jake
was like celebrate birthday and we were like,

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all right, all right, okay, here's a rule. This fun

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game we're gonna play. Uh,
the day after your birthday is called shadow

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Day. And however nice we are
to you on your birthday, that's how

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mean we get to be to you
the day after your birthday. So I

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isolate on my birthday now. So
yeah, we treat you like like a

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virgin that's gonna be sacrificed to the
sun. You know what I mean.

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We're giving you like fruits and wine
and oils and all this stuff, and

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then we're gonna cut your fucking heart
out in the morning. Broke midnight,

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Yeah no, they I was out
as soon as it hit midnight. As

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soon as it hit midnight on my
birthday and my birthday was officially over,

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it got bad. I was force
fed shots, I got haze. Basically

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I was very drunk, and they
like bought me a blow up doll,

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sex doll. It was like a
little sheep that was like we had to

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carry that around. Were like,
do it. So today's your shadow to

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day, my shadow. I need
to beat the fuck out no, because

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you weren't nice to him on to
birth nice to me. You didn't.

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You weren't around him, you didnnew
anything. You guys also an ins up

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from my birthday. So yeah,
so we weren't mean on your shadow to

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day. Yeah. So that's the
thing you it's it's it is directly tied

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to how nice people were to you
on your birth So if anything, if

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I didn't interact with you, it's
the nicest interaction I could have. That's

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giving yourself too much credit. And
I think you're pleasant to be around.

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Yeah, you're you're neutral when you're
not, so because you're not there.

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Yeah, and all I so all
I for Jake's birthday. All I did

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I said happy birthday. So I
guess fuck you. Okay, that's all

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I can That's all you can do, even right, But like, for

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example, if I was like,
hey, Jake, relax, like I'll

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walk your dog for you today,
I get to just like hit your dog

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with my car. Yeah the next
day, not kill it, right,

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because I didn't say it's life.
But yeah, I see what you mean.

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Yeah, Yeah, that's fair.
It has to be related and proportional.

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That's true. That's true. Anyway, make sure you like and subscribe

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to this podcast and leave a written
review for the love of god, please

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we need it. We love it. We had to really, Uh,

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I don't. I think you might
have shared it, Dan, I can't

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remember, but I'm gonna read it
on air real quick because it tickled me.

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But yeah, please leave reviews on
Apple. You don't leave review on

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Spotify. You just leave a five
star. But I kind of can on

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episodes. Oh, you can like
leave a note or something. Yeah,

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but like only we can see it. I think I don't know. I've

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never Oh they're all mean, really
because if I don't care if you leave

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us five stars, you're gonna be
mean. Yeah, just leave the five

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stars has to have a five star. I've had people give us good reviews

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and give us three stars, and
I'm like you, yeah, thank you

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for your honest reviews, like pretty
good, I liked it three stars.

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Like that's so fucking unhelpful. That's
just it's just weird. We don't want

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to tank. Yeah, please don't. We're not trying to get draft picks

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right now. No no, no, no, uh said. This is

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from EWB forty eight. Listen up. A pleasant Jerry, A pleasant Johnt

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through history from twenty thousand BC to
about thirty years ago. A podcast for

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mud People by mid people. That's
us. I don't know if I don't

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know if you meant mud people he
meant. I don't know if he meant

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people both times or mid people both
times, or if that was what he

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know he meant exactly what he I
think he met met exactly said. He

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means we're slightly above the mud people. That is our audience. Yeah,

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but we're still were the kings of
the mud, of the mudpicks. We're

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the people that get like Baltic in
monopoly, like the first two ones.

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You can land on him. We
just fuck. There were slum lords,

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yeah, yes, yeah, that
we're that that's the way to be though.

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Yeah, there's a lot of money
in slumming. Yeah. Donald Sterling

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was a slum lord. Yeah,
that man owned the Clippers. Lots of

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people are slum lords. Listen,
just don't take any photos with them,

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Okay, just don't do it.
We also what Rob tells his wife when

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she hangs around Magic Johnson's true.
Sure the voicemail if you want to call

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in to our Patreon voicemail line that
numbers five one two one five one three,

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five one two nine one five one
for three didn't even have to look

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at it. Boom and subscribe to
our patron five dollars a month for a

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massive catalog, extra episodes every week. And this week we got the return

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of the game show sort of.
Well no, it's penetrating in the past,

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right, but it's just me versus
Jake. What. Oh, I'm

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sorry. Like it's a better competition
is news to me? Yeah? Yet

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it's not like I don't know who
wins yet because people, because it comes

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out Wednesday. Not mind spoiler alert. I don't even know this, but

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it's not me. Check it out. It might be Oh I'm into the

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Dan rigging now. I like it. Mine's all like Angel Korean history,

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and yours is like nineties gators foot
six gas. Yeah, the whole game.

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How do you know how that's awesome? Um? Yeah, but subscribe

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to our patron fidos the whole huge
back catalog, all evergreen shit and um

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you know, uh, we just
passed five hundred, so we're thankful to

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all you guys who subscribed. I
mean, it'll go back down under five

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hundred and a half. Your cards
get declined, but we are thankful for

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now. Yeah, we need you
to try and get you to join.

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So if you're one of those,
if you're one of those kinds of people

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that has like current credit cards,
feel free to join our patriot. That

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would be great. And by the
way, we can see who gets declined

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and we report you to credit agencies. Yeah, Jake, I think you

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did. Like last week, I
had to be you because he's joined in

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April and then left in May.
It's not me. I am subscribed to

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Jake. That Jake. It literally
said, Jake, did my card maybe

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expire? Man? God damn.
It's more prominent than we thought. Yeah,

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it happens always laught for like how
how well I active right now?

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That many people would make sense for
a much larger Yeah, that's what I'm

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saying. It's like twenty I know, it's like way too suck my dick.

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It's a different Jake that joined at
the same time. I think this

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is a siop. But whatever,
they're just muddying the waters. Yeah.

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Uh, let's get in this week's
episode. We've got a fun one today.

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Today we're going to talk about something
that is so aggressively outrageously on brand

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for us that I cannot believe we've
not done this as a topic already.

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This might be like the most on
brand topic we've ever had go on.

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Yeah. Um, and maybe you
guys have heard of this at home or

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YouTube. I hadn't. Maybe even
if I had come across it before,

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I've definitely forgot about it. Today
we are going to do an entire episode

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on the most famous and legendary foreskin
in human history. Foreskin huh m hmm.

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A Jewish Man it's or North American
apparently a Jewish Man, not even

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North American, because I don't think
Mexicans do it. Yeah, I think

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it's just a Anglo North Americans.
Yeah. Uh. This is also this

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foreskin one of the greatest religious relics
of the Middle Ages, you perhaps of

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all time. Forget Santa's bones.
Today we're talking about the Holy Prepus,

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the foreskin of Jesus of Nazareth Nazareth. Wait, they have Jesus's foreskin somewhere

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allegedly. Come on, Okay,
what do you think is under the Vatican

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right, it's just floating in like
a little like suspended, like there's lights

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shining on it, like museum lights, and shit. And it's yeah,

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no, it's just like a pink
Panther movie. We have to sneak in

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through laser beams and like swipe it
and replace it with like a funnion.

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Yeah, because that's what I'm imagined, a piece of Calamaris Calamari's find something

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crispy and giant and circular. Yeah, yeah, get like one that's too

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big, and people are just like, good, the damn Jesus the baby

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because the giant the penis um.
But based on some of the stories that

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baby Jesus will get into touch on
slightly, he could have had it.

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You could have had a hog.
He did a lot of stuff most normal

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babies didn't. So well maybe uh
this foreskin, it would actually not make

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sense for Jesus to have a penis
what. Don't even tempt him mckendaal.

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He avoids the temptation. He's pure
part human. Yeah, he half human

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half, but he's also half God. Right. You think God doesn't a

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deck. God should have a throbbing
Oh, God has whatever she wants.

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Yeah. Yeah. If God wants
to have a perfect little almond shape pussy

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one day, God has that.
If God wants to have just a fucking

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Kraken's arm of a fucking cock.
The next day you can have that?

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Is it gay to fuck God?
No? No, it's an easy question.

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I don't know. I hope that's
on the trivia. That's question why,

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Jake, You're right, I'm already
had already had sucking ding ding ding

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ding? What about like I would
say yes, so that say that what

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you need to what you need to
have that? Then do is have some

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guy? Every question is actually very
subjective. Yeah, that would actually be

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a really funny check. How are
you? That would be a really funny

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round of the game show in the
future. Is that you just pick the

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opinion you like more, not even
a debate. It's just like a one

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word, one sentence answer, Rob, how am I feeling today? I

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mean pensive? You look bad.
You'll but you'll say good, but it

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is bad. Dan, No,
not correct. I think he's doing great.

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We are going to subtract a point
from your score already to suck it,

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Rob, I don't give a shit. I'm gonna win the shit out

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right, out right. I'm so
excited for this, I'm gonna fucking sweep

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it. Um. So this foreskin
has a rich and long history. Now

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obviously, Jesus, being Jewish,
was circumcised. We actually have briefly discussed,

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I believe at one point in one
of our episodes a while ago.

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We did we have discussed Jesus's circumcision
before, because we've mentioned that eight days

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after Christmas is the feast of the
circumcision. Oh that makes sense, So

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you gotta eat some food when the
Savior gets his force can cut off?

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Do you? I guess I don't
know. It's on New Year's Day,

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so you're just kind of hung over
and feel like shit. Yeah, I

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was just thinking about this, like
you gotta it's tough, man. That's

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a Hopefully the Moil didn't know who
he was circumcising. I think he knew

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exactly who I actually what was it
would do a moil even do it back

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then? Was this like an at
home situation? God? I hope it

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wasn't. I would imagine there's at
least a specialty person for like, there's

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at least one dick guy in the
right in the crowd smith in any Jewish

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village. Yeah, you'd have a
dick smith with the blacksmith with anything else.

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Um, goddamn dude, Like I
did you see the me my post

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it the other day. Yes,
uh, that you go. You could

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check our instagram. Depending on when
you're listening to this, you might have

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to scroll back a little bit,
but you'll know what as soon as you

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see it. It was about the
painting list, the circumcision of Abrah.

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The angel just pointing at Abra him's
dick, and Abraham's looking at him like

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you sure. Abraham's like, oh
man, he's just cutting the two this

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way? Why this way? The
angels like right there, right, like

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can you do it with your powers? Okay? Now so again hear me

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out, Abraham burning bush guy?
Right? No, man, Moses was

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the burning Oh that's right. I
thought Abram Abraham just met with the angel.

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Yeah, so any other time in
history this guy says he sees angels

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and they're telling him to cut a
part of his dick off. Right,

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that's not just the schizophrenic guy,
right, this is the one time.

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That's what that's how you know that's
part of me? Is like oh,

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like you know, there's an argument
like why would God gobeck dude? Why

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did God quebec? No? Because
maybe that was the only time we'd believe

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him or believe someone who saw him
right, or maybe that's you know,

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00:13:48,039 --> 00:13:52,000
maybe it's all voices in her fucking
heads. Dude, there's no faith now,

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00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,399
like no one. I wouldn't even
believe anyone. And I started hearing

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God talk to you in your head. You would go to a doctor,

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00:13:58,799 --> 00:14:01,440
You would go to a doctor.
Well, not if it was George Burns.

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00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:05,840
He's George Burns, like in the
movie Oh God. Have you seen

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00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,120
it? No, we had to
watch it in school. Have you ever

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00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:13,360
seen that movie being John Malkovich,
Oh God, starring John Denver, John

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00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:16,840
and George Burns. Yes, No, I haven't seen that. Yeah,

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00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:20,200
he's just George George Burns that shows
up and he's like, ah, I'm

204
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,559
God. He's like smoking a cigar. I don't think that was in the

205
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,440
script. I think he was just
like I only work with a cigar in

206
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,519
my hand and all just riffs.
Yeah, that's cool. It didn't follow

207
00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:31,759
the script at all. It wasn't
about God. Actually, he just showed

208
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,559
up and he's like, all right, fack face, I'm God today.

209
00:14:33,679 --> 00:14:39,840
And where I decided my characters God
were to say whatever I want. They

210
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,960
were just like, all right,
new movie, let's go, let's do

211
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,200
it. I watched some fucking clip
of Carson the other day with George Burns

212
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,080
on it randomly, and uh,
he told Johnny Carson, and I believe

213
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:54,200
it that he smoked twenty cigars a
day. That's like a pack of cigarettes,

214
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,679
but just cigars instead. It's insane. Every cigar is allegedly like a

215
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,600
pack of cigarettes. Smoke twenty packs
of cigarettes a day? Get on his

216
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:07,120
level? He lived like a hundred
So what do you want? This man

217
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:09,799
was a living piece of beef chair. It's predisposition to things that I think

218
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,600
gets to you. Like if you
have a long history of lung cancer in

219
00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:18,000
your family, you probably shouldn't smoke, right, But if you don't let

220
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,960
a rip chief them, there's nothing
that's gonna stop you. Yeah, that's

221
00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:24,799
right. I mean if you're if
you because like, living long is a

222
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:30,799
thing you inherit as well to a
large extent. So like if all your

223
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:35,440
grandparents and great grandparents lived into like
their eighty especially, that means people way

224
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,840
before them were living that long,
which and like if those people were living

225
00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:41,600
into their eighties and just fucking it's
not true, shit time. It's all

226
00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:46,600
about diet and exercise habits. It's
sure not. Those people that have the

227
00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:52,159
best always die young. It's people
that drink whiskey every day, ye smoke

228
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:58,399
a cigar. So yeah, No, it is habits. It's habits some

229
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:00,399
So what do you what aide?
You have yourself elf pegged for me?

230
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:03,720
Yeah, I've been saying this.
I'm gonna die violently, like in my

231
00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:07,720
forties. Probably. Okay, maybe
you honk your horn because they cut you

232
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,159
off in a dangerous way and you're
just letting them know, hey, I'm

233
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,240
here, I'm here. Yeah,
Yeah, you give like the nice one,

234
00:16:11,279 --> 00:16:15,240
like thee like hey, like it's
like and then he pulls out a

235
00:16:15,279 --> 00:16:18,879
bat. It's a gun. It's
a good yeah. Where we live,

236
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,360
Where we live? Yeah, and
he doesn't think twice he's had a bad

237
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,639
day. There's a TikTok prank video
right now where a guy rolls down his

238
00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:30,200
window to get other people rolled down
their window and he rolls it back up

239
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:33,080
just to like fuck with him.
He just rolls it back up and ignores

240
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,759
him after that. I actually don't
honk, I rarely. I don't believe

241
00:16:36,759 --> 00:16:40,919
in honking. I take the insurance
claim. That's what I believe in.

242
00:16:41,159 --> 00:16:44,879
I just you know, I can't
get too angry on the road. It

243
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:51,399
just it doesn't phaze me. I
get frustrated with traffic when it's like rubber

244
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,600
necking. That's about it. Really, that's the only time I appreciate people

245
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,080
slowing down. I'm like, okay, if there's a body, yeah's all.

246
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,559
That has to be the worst way
to go because you're really causing inconvenience

247
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,559
to everybody's lives. Yeah, yeah, that's past. You're just like bleeding

248
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:08,599
out, like sorry for the TRUP. I hope you make your meeting.

249
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,799
I know there's an all hands meeting
today that you need to make. Could

250
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,119
have been settled with an email I
now, I know, but you gotta

251
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,640
be there anyway. The kid that
rolls his window up, if he did

252
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,400
that here, he would be shot. Like two, there was another frank

253
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,279
I saw that did go wrong or
almost went horribly wrong. These two like

254
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,359
black dudes were just running up to
people's cars and pouring water on them from

255
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,440
a gasoline can. Oh yeah,
that's dumb. Yeah. And one guy

256
00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:37,480
he pours it on this dude's pickup
truck, jacked up pickup truck. And

257
00:17:37,519 --> 00:17:41,960
the license plate says like Ranch seven
or something. So the license plate might

258
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:47,319
as well have just said gun in
car, yes, will use will like

259
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,960
happily yeah, and he just goes
Kanye twenty twenty and like pours. I

260
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,279
mean, that's pretty rad, a
funny thing. The guy like has a

261
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:57,400
gun and he's like what and pulls
out a meaning He's like, it's water,

262
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,000
it's water, it's water, and
he goes, you almost died.

263
00:18:00,039 --> 00:18:03,559
You tell him, son of a
bitch. And then as soon as the

264
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:07,119
fucking black dude realizes that the dude, the redneck's not gonna shoot him,

265
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,920
he goes, fuck you pussy,
he almost deserved you a shot. He

266
00:18:12,039 --> 00:18:17,880
did deserved to get shot. Yeah, yeah he didn't though he did.

267
00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:19,519
I'm saying he didn't get shot.
Oh he didn't get shot. Yeah,

268
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,319
that means God didn't want to.
I'm pretty like in the zone in my

269
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,200
car too. I've seen people run
up on me to try to like jack

270
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:32,519
my car, and I've like hit
the gas. Where do you live live

271
00:18:32,599 --> 00:18:33,920
in the same city, dude,
None that's ever happened to me. Dan

272
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,880
lives in a weird carve out of
Austin where it's like your car's just gonna

273
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,960
get smashed into you once a week. It's crazy to me too, because

274
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,240
both of us are from far more
dangerous cities than this city. Yeah,

275
00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:48,640
and I really only had my car
broken into wants in Philly and it was

276
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,400
by like a child, a kid, yeah, no, like an actual

277
00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:56,839
kid, maybe like eight or nine
years old, sick, and I was

278
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,640
at fuck. I was at a
temple party in high school. Sure,

279
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,240
okay, University of Temple, yes, I know, I know. I

280
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,079
was getting excited. Oh yeah,
he was like, it's a bar mitzvah

281
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,880
No University Temple in high school,
went to a basement party, went back

282
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,680
to my four tours and uh yeah, like an eight or nine year old

283
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:17,640
just kind of jimmy and in with
a crowbar. Do you know what I

284
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,680
call him? Society wants to call
him a criminal. I call him an

285
00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:26,920
entrepreneur. I do too. I
wasn't even mad. I had k come

286
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,839
on that balls on that kid.
I used to when in grade school.

287
00:19:30,839 --> 00:19:34,440
I used to go to school with
this kid who was like in a gang

288
00:19:34,519 --> 00:19:37,799
and all this shit, like from
a rough the wrong side of the track

289
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,039
situation. And he was just telling
me about how he would go to downtown

290
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,240
Saint Louis at night on the weekends
at like he was like twelve, and

291
00:19:45,279 --> 00:19:48,240
they would just like sell weed on
the corner and I was like, oh

292
00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:52,920
you should. You're gonna die like
badly. Like a lot of people think

293
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,400
that whole chappelle a bit about the
baby on the corner and being uh,

294
00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:02,359
you know, a little outrageous selling
crack. It's not. It happens,

295
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:07,039
Yeah, it happens. But yeah, so Jesus, being Jewish, were

296
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,079
circumcised, had the circumcision of Christ
and anything anyway. According to several sources,

297
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:17,759
including an apocryphal gospel called the Arabic
Infancy Gospel UM and the Koran,

298
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:22,920
actually baby Jesus did some pretty fun
stuff. I do recall Baby Jesus in

299
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,359
the Koran. It's like like Kim
Jong un baby stories. Yes, yes,

300
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:32,359
oh it's it's absurd one hundred million
percent. And this is I believe

301
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:37,519
the Arabic. He learned to ride
a meal eighteen days old. You're not

302
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,319
far off, yeah, like you're
all almost right there. It was a

303
00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:45,160
horse. Yeah, he broke the
horse at twenty days old. Yeah,

304
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:51,119
it was the unbreakable horse. And
at one point Satan possesses it m and

305
00:20:51,839 --> 00:20:56,319
the baby just toddles up to it
and it's like just breaks it. It's

306
00:20:56,319 --> 00:21:02,799
like, yeah, horse like Baine
breaking Batman overs knee. Yeah the horse

307
00:21:02,839 --> 00:21:07,680
didn't walk again. You think the
horses you all are you merely adopted the

308
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:12,400
equine. I was born in it. Not funny. Sorry, I never

309
00:21:12,559 --> 00:21:18,000
sorry, I had it. Jake's
been on a kick of just yelling not

310
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,519
funny yet people. Yeah, it's
a mean thing I do. You haven't

311
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:26,640
what a fun I mean, we
haven't talked about on that's the way to

312
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,039
introduce it though, right, You
don't want to do like a Chekhov's not

313
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,359
funny, you know, like just
fucking yeah, yeah, just yell it.

314
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,079
That's right, you fire the gun. What We just had a board

315
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:44,880
for every joke just check off funny, not funny. You trying to get

316
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:52,079
a second one? Check off?
Check off anyway? Sorry. Some of

317
00:21:52,119 --> 00:22:00,480
the fun stuff from Baby Jesus he
has uh a diaper that heals people if

318
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:06,559
they touch it. And Jesus is
diaper? Diaper? Jesus is diaper?

319
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,400
Is it a relic? Now?
Yes? It's currently on display in two

320
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,880
different places. So one's the real
diaper, I guess, So, yeah,

321
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,799
one's the real diaper. You gotta
have a dummy diaper. Right,

322
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,960
which is of course in Ethiopia.
Yes, yeah, and they won't let

323
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,359
you see it. Now. I'm
also in there with the Holy g It's

324
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,039
in a shack that's just for some
reason, has twenty armed guards. I

325
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:33,799
will say this, I always get
nervous about when um, like someone who's

326
00:22:33,839 --> 00:22:37,920
like hyper insane Christian gets close to
the presidency, Like if Mike Pence was

327
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,440
like pulling and was gonna win or
something like that. Like, but here's

328
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,599
the thing, though, I would
vote for that guy in a heartbeat.

329
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,079
If he promised in his campaign to
send the Navy Seals to get the Ark

330
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:55,279
of the Covenant from Ethiopia. If
there's anywhere in the world that could probably

331
00:22:55,319 --> 00:22:57,519
teleport too, it might be there. Just see what, just to see

332
00:22:57,559 --> 00:23:00,720
what's in it, right. It's
just like if Mike Pence is like,

333
00:23:00,799 --> 00:23:07,119
I'm sending Seal Team six to recover
the Arc. Oh green Light, You're

334
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,160
getting my vote, Mike, Yeah, I'm in it. Although for a

335
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,839
lot of people, if they lead
with that like fucking the Rock Kanye,

336
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,480
I don't care. Get forget release
in the UFO files, forget the JFK

337
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:25,160
files, Send in the fucking troops
and get the arc The joke of it

338
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:26,559
is like if I teleported in,
you get in there, it's just a

339
00:23:26,599 --> 00:23:33,400
smaller shed with smaller Ethiopian guys with
smaller guns, you go further in.

340
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,559
But I mean, once we get
that, that's the best weapon we can

341
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,359
have. Well, that's why the
Nazis were after it. Yeah, you

342
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,640
don't know what they were gonna How
were they were gonna use it? How

343
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,400
do you weaponize the ghosts that shoot
out of it? You don't lose,

344
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,759
right if you just carry it?
Yeah, the I mean, I guess,

345
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,319
but the Jews had it well until
we didn't. Is that when you

346
00:23:52,319 --> 00:23:56,240
start losing? Yeah, So it
was between escaping Egypt and I don't know,

347
00:23:56,319 --> 00:23:59,680
setting up shop in Israel, you
had like a couple of hundred years

348
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,599
where you doing. Okay, Yeah, they were like the Terrell Davis of

349
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:08,200
people. They're just a really good
run for three years. But really that

350
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,279
was all Mike Shanahan. That guy
was just plugging and playing eighteen hundred yard

351
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,519
Rushers. That old line, baby, Yeah, that was all O line

352
00:24:15,559 --> 00:24:19,559
that was. That was March Layer. That was thrilled David. Yeah.

353
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:26,160
Um, someone would say God is
the Jews o one he uh, he's

354
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:32,640
not watching your blindside, No,
man. He takes a couple plays off

355
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,960
every now and yeah. It's pretty
rough. He's a real hothead, real

356
00:24:36,319 --> 00:24:41,160
more like John Elway's terrible with talent. He's just have an eye for it.

357
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,400
Well, he's great on the field, terrible manager, right, Yeah,

358
00:24:44,599 --> 00:24:51,680
the great soult you know, always
are. Jordan lay Gretzky is way

359
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,440
better than those two, which is
not saying a lot, but I mean

360
00:24:55,720 --> 00:25:00,359
way better. So that. Yeah. Jesus diapers on display in the Dobrevnick

361
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:07,920
Cathedral, uh and also in another
cathedral in Akan, Germany, UM the

362
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,559
cathedral the Shrine of Saint Mary at
Akan Cathedral. We don't know which one's

363
00:25:11,559 --> 00:25:17,039
a real diaper, but there's a
Jesus a diaper on on display in two

364
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:21,400
in place in Europe, the two
the Koran and the Arabic Gospel, or

365
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,759
definitely the Arabic Gospel also claims that
Um, Jesus had uh encounters with Judas

366
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:32,279
Iscariot and the thieves he was later
crucified with earlier. That's some good storytelling.

367
00:25:32,599 --> 00:25:34,319
Yes, bring it back, the
circling back he uh, what is

368
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,519
it? It's a callback? Yeah
right, yeah, yeah, yeah,

369
00:25:37,559 --> 00:25:41,400
that's too good storytelling, like it's
too too good, that didn't happen.

370
00:25:41,599 --> 00:25:45,559
Yeah, you're telling me Judas as
a kid, like you're gonna betray me

371
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:51,400
one day, You're gonna betray me, Like, like, I know you,

372
00:25:51,519 --> 00:25:55,680
dude. Can you imagine like a
baby walks up to you, you

373
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,160
you're good? Well at this point, this is more like our our story.

374
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,599
It's like teen Jesus, oh even
worse, or maybe like you know,

375
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,000
eight year old gie, you imagine
looks you would get if a twelve

376
00:26:03,039 --> 00:26:06,960
year old walked up to you and
said you will betray me some twelve year

377
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,680
old you don't know, and no
one else around you knows. I don't

378
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,519
know. Kids are fucking weird.
If a kid said that to me,

379
00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:15,359
I would be like, okay,
yeah, I guess that's true. Okay,

380
00:26:15,519 --> 00:26:18,400
get out of here. Yeah,
if your son came up to you

381
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,519
today tonight as you're putting in the
bed, it's like you're gonna betray me,

382
00:26:22,599 --> 00:26:25,960
Dad, that'd be insane because those
are like his That'd be like his

383
00:26:26,079 --> 00:26:29,519
first sentence, right, he has
not done a sentence yet, Okay,

384
00:26:29,559 --> 00:26:33,039
other than high daddy, it's kind
of late, right, No, little

385
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,759
a little slow with the development.
Not not really. You did have to

386
00:26:37,759 --> 00:26:41,680
put a helmet on his head.
Yeah, I guess you had a misshaped

387
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,240
head. Look, kids turn out
fine with you know, early development problems.

388
00:26:45,319 --> 00:26:49,079
You had a broken butthole for for
years. No, I didn't get

389
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,480
that to all seventeen. I mean
you didn't get it. I didn't get

390
00:26:53,039 --> 00:26:56,440
you don't get bitten by a fucking
mesquite get activated. When I was seventeen,

391
00:26:59,799 --> 00:27:04,319
I didn't have Crohn's my entire life
roll over superpower activation ever dirts on.

392
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,039
I got bit by like a radioactive
cows. Just the worst guy.

393
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,559
There's more than what Peter Parker's is. Lucky. You got bit by the

394
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,880
right radioactive spiders. All the other
ones just give you cancer. It's bad

395
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:23,359
cancer. And then Dan got the
Cron's cow. Right. Yeah, he's

396
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,599
at a petting zoo. Can't do
dairy now, a young Philadelphia boy if

397
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,920
visits a petting zoo on a normal
Tuesday at school, But little did he

398
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:37,440
know you would get diarrhea and do
nothing anyway. Jesus. Also, this

399
00:27:37,519 --> 00:27:40,440
was in the Koran, for sure. It's more prominent in the Kuran.

400
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:45,559
He spoke to Mary as an infant. He basically turned to her as a

401
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:52,640
still wet newborn and was like,
hey, I'm God. You don't think

402
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,559
she knows? I know she does. That's the one person who for sure

403
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,960
already knows. Yeah. At that
point I'd be like start a question Jesus,

404
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,920
like, oh, are we sure? Do you think I'm stupid?

405
00:28:03,319 --> 00:28:06,680
Yeah? But like I know,
just drink. He told me. The

406
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,680
Angel told me. The angel that
is actually just a ball of eyeballs with

407
00:28:11,759 --> 00:28:15,279
two wings, fucking told me that
before he fucked me. I know you're

408
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:21,160
God, yes, but now that
you're saying it, I have my questions.

409
00:28:21,799 --> 00:28:23,240
I wouldn't even didn't you know that? I know that. I wouldn't

410
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:26,160
not addressed the baby. I would
look up to like the sky and be

411
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:32,640
like, how many times did you
tell me? I didn't even doubt it?

412
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:36,319
Like I'm not there are other people
being doubting. You sent the most

413
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:41,920
horrifying creature I've ever seen it.
It told me this already. Another gospel

414
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:47,200
about Jesus's infancy, the Gospel of
James, has some details from Mary's childhood

415
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,359
that are actually pretty fun. Her
mom anna like she didn't have much of

416
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,559
a childhood married, Yeah, Well, her childhood is yeah, you're right.

417
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,759
This whole start, this whole thing
starts during your child. Kind of

418
00:28:57,799 --> 00:29:03,079
cut it short, you're starting to
bleed. Huh baby. Yeah. Um,

419
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,240
that's almost exactly how it happened,
basically in the Gospel of James.

420
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,960
So, her mom didn't think she'd
ever get pregnant. God gives her a

421
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,200
baby, and it's like, hey, your babies, man, you're eleven,

422
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:21,319
come on counting down the days no
one had made. Uh. So

423
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,000
they named their child Marry and then
when she's three years old, they sent

424
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:26,079
her to live in the temple,
which she like promised God. She's like,

425
00:29:26,079 --> 00:29:27,279
oh, thank you so much,
I'm going to have her. I'm

426
00:29:27,319 --> 00:29:30,720
so grateful for this child that she's
not gonna live with me. I'm gonna

427
00:29:32,039 --> 00:29:36,480
have her live in the temple and
serve you. Um. So Mary lived

428
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,440
in the temple where each day she
was fed meals by an angel, Like

429
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,720
I guess while everyone else was in
the cafeteria, she's getting hers in her

430
00:29:42,759 --> 00:29:49,680
mouth and getting fanned. Yeah,
I think this is the temple. I'm

431
00:29:49,799 --> 00:29:53,079
eating my angel meals in the bathroom. That's fine, my the angel gave

432
00:29:53,119 --> 00:29:56,480
it to me. That. But
that would explain why God thought she was

433
00:29:56,559 --> 00:30:07,160
hot right her skinny twelve. It's
just your type problem. I mean,

434
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,079
I do have a god god complex, I suppose, but I don't know

435
00:30:11,079 --> 00:30:15,000
if that's that's a part of it. I don't know, Um Mary um.

436
00:30:15,119 --> 00:30:18,640
Once she got to her twelfth birthday, the priest decides she could no

437
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,759
longer stay there lest her menstrual blood
render the temple unclean. That's true.

438
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:29,440
That that checks out. That checks
out. Temples are gonna flow with a

439
00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:34,359
river of your period. But yeah, Judaism has a lot of period laws

440
00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:38,079
and restrictions. There's a lot of
not just pork No, it's not.

441
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,640
It's not just pork in uh,
you know, dari and beef. It's

442
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,119
you keep the blood away. I'm
sorry. Are they not allowed to go

443
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,960
to like temple now still if they're
on their period? If it's like super

444
00:30:51,079 --> 00:30:55,319
orthodox, I don't know. Um, if it's like super strict wild,

445
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,240
I mean there's there's a lot.
Dude like you just like walk like some

446
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,119
kid in bro Clifts, like,
hey Jacob, where's your bob here?

447
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,960
This way on our period watch the
kids something like that. I don't know

448
00:31:07,319 --> 00:31:10,599
makes sense. I didn't want to
do like a whole, whole full on

449
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:11,920
Jewish thing. But I want him
to I want him to sound weird and

450
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:22,839
nerdy, fair enough and sickly.
Yes, sinus problems, yeah, no,

451
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,400
there's there's no what what do you
know any period laws? Um?

452
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,039
I believe, I mean you're not
supposed to touch like a chick. Yeah

453
00:31:30,079 --> 00:31:33,799
you're not. I mean generally you're
not supposed. I believe you drink cranberry

454
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:40,359
cho Oh there is a thing.
Um. A Vice guy did this once.

455
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,000
I think he was on the show
on drinking. He was Kosher for

456
00:31:44,039 --> 00:31:48,359
like a year, like crazy kosher
and like he couldn't sit in a chair

457
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,599
that his wife sat in when she
was on her period. Yeah. Yeah,

458
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,279
it's like that kind of shit.
It's crazy. And you have to

459
00:31:55,359 --> 00:32:00,839
drink like Evan Williams because it's apparently
kosher. It's one of the few kosher

460
00:32:00,839 --> 00:32:05,039
whiskey. Yeah. Oh, actually
that's so funny. This guy, I

461
00:32:05,119 --> 00:32:08,400
have Evan will like a nice bottle
of their nice bottle of Evan Williams.

462
00:32:08,519 --> 00:32:13,640
There's apparently one. Okay, the
liquor store guy sold sold me on it

463
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,279
and I was like, okay,
it's fine. Um, I'm sure it's

464
00:32:16,319 --> 00:32:21,119
pretty mid it's it's bullet it's pretty
much just bullet. It's all made in

465
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,359
the same place. It's like that
Simpsons uh well gift, but also like

466
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,960
bit where they're like, yeah,
we got duff dry, duff, light

467
00:32:30,079 --> 00:32:34,079
and duff and it's like like one
pipe and then it spreads out into three

468
00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:37,599
pipes and dumps into the three fucking
things. Like it's all the fucking same

469
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,079
Yeah. It's like Buffalo, Trace
Pappy, all that shits in the same

470
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:45,799
all the fucking same thing. Yeah. Um so the the God is like,

471
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,799
okay, he can't. You can't
live in the temple anymore. I

472
00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:51,640
agree with these priests. Your period
blood, it's gonna make that place a

473
00:32:51,799 --> 00:32:55,920
mess. Uh So I'll find you
someone until he finds an old widower for

474
00:32:57,039 --> 00:33:00,480
Mary to stay with. Perfect and
that's Joseph right and Joe as old as

475
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,279
fuck and he doesn't want to fuck
marry like he's just like God making you

476
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,079
live with me. I'll look after
you, and it seems special whatever.

477
00:33:08,359 --> 00:33:12,359
So he leaves on business one day. I don't know what fucking business he

478
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,359
has with carpenter business. You know, it wasn't not it's not a carpenter.

479
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:20,920
Oh he wasn't so carpenter is a
bad translation. Oh really, it's

480
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,200
just fucking worker. Oh he's just
a working he's a skilled labor. No,

481
00:33:24,519 --> 00:33:30,240
not even a skilled laborer. He
is like guy at home depot,

482
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,799
like a fucking like immigrant. Yeah, so he's going to ye, yeah,

483
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,599
day labor. He's a day labor, like literally, that's what he

484
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,680
is. By the hour, maybe
by the minute. So when you read

485
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,960
there's a part in the Bible when
I was doing research for this where you

486
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,920
know, like there's like a line
or something in one of the Gospels where

487
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,240
it's like, who is this carpenter
to, you know, preach to us

488
00:33:47,319 --> 00:33:52,000
or whatever, and but they're like, that actually doesn't make sense because a

489
00:33:52,039 --> 00:33:55,960
carpenter is a skilled and relatively respected
laborer back then. Yeah, so what

490
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:02,279
they were really saying, it's just
like, who is this fucking like rough

491
00:34:02,319 --> 00:34:07,880
hands moron to say this ship to? Like I know him. He was

492
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:14,239
just picking up rocks for money.
He's old and he still works. Jesus,

493
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,639
but still either way, what you're
saying is that would translate the same

494
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:22,880
way right right there, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're Jesus of Nazareth,

495
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:28,960
right the guy that offered to to
clean up the sticks in my backyard

496
00:34:30,079 --> 00:34:34,039
for a dollar, and now you're
telling me Joseph would be the same thing,

497
00:34:34,079 --> 00:34:36,119
though, yes, yes, yes, yeah, but the line in

498
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:38,840
the Bible is about about Jesus.
They're just like, no, no,

499
00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:45,159
you, he's just playing with his
era's Lincoln logs. Yeah you fucking I

500
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:51,079
saw you collecting cans to recycle for
money, and now you're telling me that

501
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:55,320
I'm not gonna get into heaven.
No what you? Yeah? No,

502
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,400
he would not be well received today. No. And it's funny too,

503
00:34:59,519 --> 00:35:01,440
like you to think too, Like
I almost don't blame them. They're like,

504
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,840
all right, hold on, hold
on just a minute, just a

505
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:09,519
second. You're the guy. You're
You're the guy who just picks up garbage.

506
00:35:09,559 --> 00:35:13,639
You're you. I was driving my
fucking car down the street the other

507
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:19,239
day and you've started washing the windshield
without asking me, and now you're telling

508
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,800
me that only poor people get into
heaven. That seems convenient. That checks

509
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,599
out. Yeah, that's weird.
Those people always told me I'm not going

510
00:35:25,639 --> 00:35:30,000
to heaven either when I spray hit
my wipers right like, no, I

511
00:35:30,039 --> 00:35:36,280
got Tad's baby, I'm going to
hail. Definitely not well juice on helfo,

512
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,320
you have a weirder thing, you
can do a whole episode. Leasy.

513
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,880
I don't even don't spoil it because
I don't actually don't know. It's

514
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,920
weird. I love that. So
you ever see a David Lynch movie?

515
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:52,000
Oh, rad, Yeah, it's
it's that. I'm into that. So

516
00:35:52,199 --> 00:35:54,320
Joseph Leeve's on business. Mary's called
to the temple to help weave the temple

517
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:58,599
curtain or something where one day an
angel appears and he's like, hey,

518
00:35:58,679 --> 00:36:01,559
sure that's not a bad translation.
What is what do you think that the

519
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:07,199
real translation is probably something their period
period stuff, you know it is,

520
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:14,559
Yeah, the weaving tampons with her
hair? Yeah? What is it?

521
00:36:14,599 --> 00:36:21,119
A soupon? Yeah, it really
could be. So an angel shows up

522
00:36:21,159 --> 00:36:23,440
and he's like, hey, you've
been chosen by God to conceive the savior

523
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:30,599
of mankind. And Joseph returns from
his business trip and finds Mary six months

524
00:36:30,639 --> 00:36:32,920
pregnant. Damn that baby grew quick, and he's pissed. He's like,

525
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,559
fucking shit, dude, he's gone
for three weeks. Everyone's gonna think I

526
00:36:37,599 --> 00:36:40,440
did that. And I said I
wasn't gonna fuck you because you're twelve and

527
00:36:40,519 --> 00:36:45,280
I'm fucking like sixty years old.
All of it was just a punk.

528
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,840
Joseph God was just like, I'm
want to make this guy look like a

529
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:52,400
pedo. Yeah, even for the
time. Yeah. So he made her

530
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,440
literally take the test of bitter waters
to prove he didn't fuck her and that

531
00:36:55,519 --> 00:36:59,360
she was telling the truth about an
angel getting her God getting her pregnant.

532
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,920
Is the test of bitter waters?
Yeah, what is this? Very common

533
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:06,920
test. It is like you basically
have to like drink this like weird potion.

534
00:37:07,119 --> 00:37:09,599
It's real, it's a Jewish thing. Just drink like this weird like

535
00:37:09,679 --> 00:37:13,920
potion of water and other like dust. And if the pea's not green,

536
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:15,880
he's not green. She took the
peen, she did not take the peen.

537
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,119
She did not take the peine.
Sweet, how would that determine if

538
00:37:20,159 --> 00:37:25,400
it was Joseph's or not. It's
like he has jove that she stole a

539
00:37:25,519 --> 00:37:30,159
virgin. Do you need to drink
water for that? I feel like and

540
00:37:30,679 --> 00:37:34,920
anyway, Yeah, so they was
like they're like, okay, all right,

541
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,800
that's fine. Um. And then
when she gave birth, Jesus teleported

542
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:45,199
from her womb to her breast didn't
come out. Yeah, literally, he

543
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:49,039
didn't come out of her. No, he just teleported from the womb.

544
00:37:50,519 --> 00:37:54,599
Yeah, you're gonna thank me later, I would God, you'll thank me

545
00:37:54,719 --> 00:38:01,159
later thanking him him. Now,
imagine giving birth to God would probably kill

546
00:38:01,159 --> 00:38:07,280
you, actually having to give birth. Yeah, that's true. It's like

547
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:12,519
taking Superman's load. Yeah yeah,
yeah. God can't be beholden to anyone,

548
00:38:12,559 --> 00:38:15,079
like thanks for berthing me. God
can't have that, so he just

549
00:38:15,119 --> 00:38:16,960
teleports out. That's that's fair.
Yeah. Anyway, all that's fun,

550
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:21,480
but it's not nearly as fun as
the Holy prepuss itself. First, in

551
00:38:21,519 --> 00:38:27,039
the Arabic Infancy Gospel, Uh,
it describes the circumcision um though it should

552
00:38:27,039 --> 00:38:31,360
be noted that this circumcision did in
fact also make the cut pun intended in

553
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:36,840
the actual Bible. In Luke two
twenty one, Jesus was circumcised in a

554
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:43,599
cave safe. Yeah, a really
sterile cave. Yeah. An old Hebrew

555
00:38:43,639 --> 00:38:49,440
woman took the foreskin and preserved it
in an alabaster box of well, you

556
00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:52,199
know dude that Yeah, you guys, I have both of my kids for

557
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,960
a skin bronzed at home. Yeah, gots to you're gonna throw it away?

558
00:38:55,960 --> 00:39:00,079
It could be worth something someday.
Yeah, you don't know. Yeah,

559
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,679
Rory could become like David Koresh or
something. You forget even that.

560
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:07,480
How much there's someone that would pay
for Mickey Mantle's foreskin, Oh thousand percent.

561
00:39:07,599 --> 00:39:13,519
There's baseball card guys. Definitely.
You just wear a fucking a little

562
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:20,199
chain with Mickey mantles. Yeah,
the biggest, the best. Yeah,

563
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,480
puts it back on her shirt.
This one's from Maryland. Yeah, that's

564
00:39:23,519 --> 00:39:30,599
the wrong guy. I thought DiMaggio
Mantel has the insane story about pork and

565
00:39:30,639 --> 00:39:35,199
people under the Yankees. You tell
me Nicky Mandel didn't fuck Marilyn Monroe.

566
00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:38,679
No, he didn't know double ms. Al right, well, I'm pretty

567
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:43,679
sure it was just Joe DiMaggio.
M hmm. Mickey Mantele fucked everybody.

568
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,840
He did fuck everyone. Have you
seen the story. It's like, tell

569
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:51,079
us one happy memory of Yankee Stadium
or whatever. He's like, I bang

570
00:39:51,199 --> 00:39:54,920
some broad under the fucking bleachers.
Yeah that's what he wrote. I'm like

571
00:39:55,039 --> 00:39:58,519
the fucking official, like, tell
us your favorite story. I don't know

572
00:39:58,559 --> 00:40:00,679
what they put in the actual public
a probably just left him out. Guy's

573
00:40:00,679 --> 00:40:05,079
a fucking lunatic. I love Mickey. We need to do an episode one

574
00:40:05,119 --> 00:40:07,400
day, I'm just Mickey Mantle as
many. Oh yeah, his just sexual

575
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:13,639
conquest. Yeah, and we could
do kind of like a him verse maybe

576
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:17,960
you know, they go, well, yeah, that would be a good

577
00:40:19,079 --> 00:40:22,960
like comparison. Yeah, like who
did it better? I think who's the

578
00:40:23,079 --> 00:40:30,280
greatest of all time? Like his
baseball career, his sexual career from Mickey

579
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:34,199
Mantle was really handcuffed by his drinking, you know what I mean, Like

580
00:40:34,559 --> 00:40:38,039
he could have accomplished so much more, Like there's probably every night there's like

581
00:40:38,199 --> 00:40:42,719
five other chicks waiting to fuck him, but he passes out drunk. It's

582
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,440
like I can only do two or
a way tomorrow, ladies. Um,

583
00:40:47,119 --> 00:40:51,639
So they put it in a box
of oil whatever. She had a son

584
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,280
who was a druggist, and she
was like, take heed, thou sell

585
00:40:54,400 --> 00:41:00,840
not this alabaster box of ointment,
although thou shouldst be off for one hundred

586
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,280
pence for it. So she was
like, don't sell, don't sell it,

587
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,679
but if someone does try to buy
it, no less than three hundred.

588
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,199
Yeah, set the price at least
right. Yeah. So I don't

589
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:13,880
know how legitimate this is, but
I just found the baseball It is signed

590
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,519
by Mickey Mantle. And it just
says I fucked Monroe with the signature.

591
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:25,000
Now, it should be noted that
him and Joe DiMaggio not big fans of

592
00:41:25,079 --> 00:41:29,679
each other. Yeah, it was
a spite fuck. I'd imagine while or

593
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,360
he would just say that to fuck
with Joey d'O. That's fair because he

594
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:37,440
was also a big shit talker.
Yeah, but I mean either, Look,

595
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:43,679
everything's on the table. I would
love that baseball. How much is

596
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,440
it about six thousand dollars right now? That's that's kind of reasonable. You

597
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:50,960
can swing it. I want that
on set. I don't know how legitimate

598
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,320
it is though that you can write
it off. Yeah, we needed it.

599
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,639
That's a hundred percent attacks right,
I'm gonna try to write off my

600
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,519
Xbox I just bought. See that. I'll play Assassin's Creed when it comes

601
00:42:00,559 --> 00:42:06,159
out. It's history, Yeah,
you didn't research new ones in. Uh.

602
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,000
Those games are how I start,
not how I started learning history,

603
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,159
like dad. The History Channel stillay
that but comes out in October though,

604
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,679
sweet, what year Baghdad? He's
like eight hundred Yeah, like ninth century

605
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:17,760
Baghdad. Okay, it wasn't damn. I was hoping it would be.

606
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:22,000
When the Mongols took it down,
but it wasn't that's the way didn't come

607
00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:24,360
out yet, so we'll see that
would be sweet if it went to the

608
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:29,039
future. Historians are like, the
sack of Baghdad by the Mongols was so

609
00:42:29,159 --> 00:42:30,920
bad, Like it was like it
ruined it. It was like the first

610
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:35,000
time a city was ever nuked.
Yecially, Yeah, no, it's set

611
00:42:35,079 --> 00:42:39,159
back the entire like region because that
was like the like best center of science.

612
00:42:39,199 --> 00:42:43,960
The whole joke is like how far
advanced we'd be if Baghdad never fell.

613
00:42:44,159 --> 00:42:46,400
Baghdad and the Library of Alexandria,
like if those two lost so much

614
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:51,280
information didn't get fucked up. Yeah, until the internet goes out, we'd

615
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,599
all be casting on each other.
So now uh. But eventually Mary the

616
00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:00,559
center procure procured the box, but
Jesus foreskin in it. She poured the

617
00:43:00,639 --> 00:43:07,079
ointment upon the head and feet of
Jesus and then wiped it on, wiped

618
00:43:07,119 --> 00:43:10,440
it off with the hair of her
head. Weird, everyone's fucking weird.

619
00:43:10,599 --> 00:43:13,760
Yea, and that is the last
one. It's Mary Maggs, right,

620
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,000
I think so. Yeah, Mary
Maggs did a lot with her hair.

621
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:19,519
There's a lot of things with her
hair, foot stuff with her hair.

622
00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:23,639
Yeah, Jesus is into footplay and
she's into hairplay. Match made in heaven,

623
00:43:24,679 --> 00:43:29,920
literally, m match made by heaven
by God. Back then, to

624
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:34,440
women's hair had to just be a
fucking nightmare, just a nest. Yeah,

625
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:39,559
fucking especially poor women. It's just
a fucking it's it's a rat king.

626
00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:46,239
It's the tangled weave a man.
Oh, I gotta cat dimit running

627
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:52,280
through mange. I can't do Slackerman
like you. I'm sorry, that's all

628
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:58,880
right, now do Palestinian? You
want me to die a Palestinian woman?

629
00:43:59,039 --> 00:44:02,599
Yeah? Uh. That was the
last we'd hear of Jesus's four skin for

630
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:12,119
eight hundred years until Christmas Day in
eight hundred a d good old fashioned reboot,

631
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,159
we have our next recorded mention of
the foreskin. It turns out it

632
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:23,519
was gifted to Pope Leo the Third
by none other than Charlemagne. So this

633
00:44:23,679 --> 00:44:28,000
is made up then while he was
being crowned Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.

634
00:44:28,079 --> 00:44:30,840
No, this is true, stay
woke. Charlemagne didn't exist. Yeah,

635
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:34,480
oh, so it conveniently showed up
and Charlemagne had it. Okay,

636
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,280
you mean the years the Catholic Church
made up. Yeah, just telling you

637
00:44:38,039 --> 00:44:43,079
it's what the history book said.
Can you imagine like opening a present,

638
00:44:43,119 --> 00:44:44,639
it's like, oh, what'd you
get me? What'd you get me?

639
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,800
And it's like, you got me
foreskin? I think the Pope was.

640
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:50,960
I think that's a gift. The
Pope liked, that's a gift only the

641
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,159
pope with like, how do you
describe that when you give it to someone?

642
00:44:54,400 --> 00:45:02,119
It's a it's the holy prepoce pupist, the holy. When they cut

643
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:07,480
the foreskin, right, they're in
that Nativity scene, I'd imagine it's like,

644
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:08,760
no, it's eight days later.
They're out of that, they're in

645
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,719
a different cave. I thought they
would have just like kind of settled there

646
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:14,920
for a couple of weeks. Maybe
you would think, but no, I

647
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,079
mean they keep out of the hospital
now in like two days. We need

648
00:45:17,119 --> 00:45:20,280
to tell when the baby teleports out
of you. You don't need to do

649
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:24,800
a lot. Yeah. My only
question who's scooping up the extra foreskin out

650
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:29,840
of the cave the moil. I
guess they immediately kept they knew this baby

651
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:34,920
was special. It's like a scab
skin. It just gets dry and crusty.

652
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,679
How many foreskins have you seen.
I only have seen the one from

653
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:45,079
was it Meet the Parents? Oh
when they saved it? Yeah, or

654
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,679
Meet the Fockers or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it

655
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,400
was the sequel. Yeah, it
was the sequel. Yeah, that's the

656
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:54,360
only foreskin I've ever seen, not
at but also no way last eight hundred

657
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,679
years. What do they do to
like petrify? No, they put in

658
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,559
oil. They preserved it in oil. Yeah, so they didn't petrify it.

659
00:46:00,639 --> 00:46:02,800
They pickled it. Yeah, basically, Yeah, it's pickled. They

660
00:46:04,039 --> 00:46:08,679
it's a pickled Foreski pickled it.
Yeah, she try it. Well,

661
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:13,000
we'll get to that. Put it
on. I just got a flat top,

662
00:46:13,159 --> 00:46:16,400
you know, just fire up the
grill. Well, we'll get to

663
00:46:16,519 --> 00:46:23,199
how the foreskins desperate times cough,
desperate bena. Why not catch it in

664
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:27,480
your mouth? Yeah, I don't
think it has a good weight to toss.

665
00:46:28,159 --> 00:46:34,760
Mmm, I don't know. So
it's getting absolutely no Watch if the

666
00:46:35,159 --> 00:46:37,480
napkin in the wind, if the
ace event turns on at the wrong at

667
00:46:37,519 --> 00:46:42,360
the exact wrong time, like that
thing's just going down to the floor immediately.

668
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,800
Yeah, it's it's like trying to
throw a whiffleball really hard. Yeah,

669
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,880
just doesn't go anywhere. Just hurt
your elbow. Now, are you

670
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,960
gonna let your children decide whether or
not they have foreskin? It's too late,

671
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:58,559
Yeah, foreskin's gone. I'm asking
did you give them the option?

672
00:46:59,039 --> 00:47:02,079
Uh? Yeah, yeah them they're
old enough to consent to whatever, right,

673
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:06,639
So I was like, hey,
no, No answer was yes,

674
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,800
we want to get our our dicks
cut. Yeah, pretty much. Dinner.

675
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:14,159
Are you circumstanced? Yeah? Okay, honestly, you know what's funny

676
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:15,960
is I obviously wanted to get them
circumstances, but my wife was a bigger

677
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:21,679
advocate for it because it's so funny, because if it like her logic,

678
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,960
she didn't say this specifically, but
her logic was basically like, uncut dicks

679
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:30,440
are weird. Normal women won't want
to fuck them. If they have an

680
00:47:30,519 --> 00:47:34,320
uncut dick, they gotta move to
Europe. They gotta move to Europe.

681
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,239
She's kind of a square, isn't
she. She's a little vanilla girl.

682
00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:43,840
Yeah. There's plenty of girls that
fuck Georgia. Yeah, but what what

683
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:51,719
kind? The best kind? We
matched with the same girl? So yeah,

684
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,079
okay, all those tattoos on Dan, that's really just for skin.

685
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:59,960
Yeah, envy? If anything,
I would put my skin back on.

686
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:06,639
Get you get amer just like a
little I'm sure they make Israeliman did that

687
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,119
all the time when the Greeks conquered
Israel, When Alexander the Great conquered Israel,

688
00:48:09,119 --> 00:48:13,800
they built a fucking gymnasium in Jerusalem, and all the all the so

689
00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:17,679
before that, it was like a
sort of Jewish symbol of manhood to be

690
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:22,440
cut. And then once the Greeks
took over, they wanted to, like

691
00:48:22,519 --> 00:48:24,920
it became cooler to be Greek,
changed like literally cooler, Like it became

692
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:30,840
cooler to be Greek. So anyone
that wanted to go wrestle at the gymnasium

693
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,480
like you did all that shit naked, Hey, get this being Jewish not

694
00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:38,239
the forefront of being the cool guy. Turns out that's when it turned.

695
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:44,280
But again we lost that covenant.
It's been down. It was like that's

696
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,199
we're done. Shit. Yeah,
it's a nice run. Yes, But

697
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:50,960
they would they would re they would
essentially have like cosmetic surgery on their dicks

698
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,559
to have make it look like there
was foreskin. Again, there's a guy,

699
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,800
a big anti circumcision advocate. I'm
sure you've seen some of this stuff

700
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,800
where it's like the people they're like, keep there's skin. They were at

701
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:02,119
the Massoo game at my bachelor party
member, that's right, Yeah, they

702
00:49:02,159 --> 00:49:06,679
were. Um, there's a guy
who invented a thing that clips to your

703
00:49:07,159 --> 00:49:10,440
existing skin still and like retracts it
up and pulls it and stretches it so

704
00:49:10,519 --> 00:49:15,320
you can like regrow your foreskin.
It is gross. Pass sleeps like a

705
00:49:15,559 --> 00:49:19,880
jaws are size for your penis.
Yes, it has a clip on your

706
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,079
headboard and it has a tension cable
and you sleep on your back and in

707
00:49:23,199 --> 00:49:28,880
your sleep it pulls the skin above
your dickhead. And like they were interviewing

708
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,360
this guy. His wife is sitting
in a corner not facing where the camera.

709
00:49:32,559 --> 00:49:36,760
She's like she's slot. By the
way, I just want to know

710
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,159
how that guy's doing. The guy
that created jawser size, I think he's

711
00:49:39,199 --> 00:49:44,760
living comfortably now. I'm sure how
many dudes, like in college, do

712
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,599
you think bought that the thing that
you like? Yeah, you kind of

713
00:49:46,599 --> 00:49:50,599
like you like you put it between
your collar bone and your chin, You

714
00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:54,280
open your mouth and you just to
get like a really ironclad jaws. Yeah,

715
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:58,000
because that's how it fucking works.
It's called lose weight. Idiot,

716
00:49:58,159 --> 00:50:00,480
like, that's how it works.
You can still get it today on Amazon.

717
00:50:00,679 --> 00:50:04,480
Yeah. I never did that,
but I would strap like weight.

718
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,719
You get the helmet, yeah,
and you lift your head. I remember

719
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,239
that from football. I remember thinking, what the fuck am I working?

720
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,840
I just like tweak my neck.
I can get punch really hard. Now

721
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,719
that's sick. You can get a
four pack for eighty dollars. On four

722
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:23,199
pack for sizers, there's different size. It's like a it's like a tension

723
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,239
level. You gotta work up to
the black jaws are sizers. You're gonna

724
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,719
start on the pace one. They
start with the green and then you work

725
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,599
up the double black dom. I'm
on the blue. I can't get it.

726
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:36,159
I can't quite get over the hump
with my jaw. Or are they

727
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,719
like belt it's like a purple belt
blue belt. Yeah, it's fucking got

728
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:45,159
a jaw movements and never get TMJ. It's good, which is great for

729
00:50:46,199 --> 00:50:52,079
one thing, eating box shiit real
quick before when you get back to how

730
00:50:52,159 --> 00:50:55,840
tasty Jesus is foreskin ones, we
do have some advertisers, and speaking of

731
00:50:55,880 --> 00:51:00,280
tasty, you go to Hello Fresh
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732
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:06,239
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733
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,199
If you don't know what Hello Fresh
is, it is the best. I

734
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:14,920
don't know what to call it.
I guess like maled grocery mailed meals to

735
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:20,639
you possible, like you get farm
fresh preportion ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right

736
00:51:20,679 --> 00:51:23,400
to your doorstep. I've used it
for a while now, on and off,

737
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,840
just depending on how my life is
going. I currently am using it.

738
00:51:28,159 --> 00:51:31,840
It is amazing like they send you
like especially for if you're like me

739
00:51:32,039 --> 00:51:35,400
and you and my wife and you
kind of like, I don't know,

740
00:51:35,519 --> 00:51:37,920
get uncreative, who about what to
make? Can you end up making yourself

741
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,920
like tacos three nights a week and
then like I don't know, a turkey

742
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:44,239
burgher just like pasta. Like it's
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743
00:51:44,599 --> 00:51:47,679
It is absolutely awesome. When the
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744
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call for takeout, get Hello Fresh
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745
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,960
that make feeding the family like really
easy. In a sense. It's great

746
00:51:55,039 --> 00:51:59,880
for I've got two kids. Only
one is eating like food food right now,

747
00:52:00,119 --> 00:52:01,559
but it's really great for him.
For the toddler there's stuff you can

748
00:52:01,599 --> 00:52:06,760
do with toddlers and stuff or with
kids, you know kid the kids are

749
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,039
picky. A lot of their food
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750
00:52:09,159 --> 00:52:14,280
You can kind of pick your meals
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751
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situation. And they have new fast
and Fresh options where you can cook it

752
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,679
or you know, have the meal
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753
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:22,559
is huge. A lot of these
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754
00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:24,559
great, you know I got this
stuff, but then you still have to

755
00:52:24,599 --> 00:52:28,000
cook for like an hour. Like
it's nice, I guess that they send

756
00:52:28,039 --> 00:52:30,079
you everything, but the amount of
work makes it almost not worth it,

757
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,039
or makes it not worth it.
Hello Fresh not that way. You can

758
00:52:34,159 --> 00:52:37,360
kind of dictate that as well.
And look, if you're hosting it get

759
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,559
together, this is actually huge.
This is one thing I think it's a

760
00:52:40,559 --> 00:52:45,159
relatively new thing from Hello Fresh,
and this is one of the coolest things

761
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they do now. If you're hosting
it get together, you can check out

762
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Hello Fresh Market where you can order
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763
00:52:53,119 --> 00:52:58,159
sides, dips, all types of
stuff like that that you know people

764
00:52:58,159 --> 00:53:00,760
are gonna love, just stuff other
than the normal sort of grocery store fair

765
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:06,800
and it's really really cool, like
stuff you won't find at your whatever you

766
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,880
know, grocery store in your neighborhood. You can skip the extra trip to

767
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:14,440
wherever you're going to go and do
Hello Fresh Market instead and get it delivered

768
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like I said, I love it.

769
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:21,880
My kid, the one that eats
solid food or whatever, loves it.

770
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,320
Me and my wife love it because
we're busy, like we both work.

771
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:28,000
We have two kids, Like,
we can't freaking plan a menu every week,

772
00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:30,719
so honestly, even more so than
having them portioned everything out and everything,

773
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:35,280
having Hello Fresh like plan our menu
essentially, that is like such a

774
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:38,000
huge, amazing part of it.
Again, go to Hello Fresh dot com

775
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778
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783
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you use the linkum Dan, These
are maybe the best meat sticks I've ever

784
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:27,760
had in my life. They are
very very very very very good. And

785
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,360
they're not like trashy gas station,
No dude. They got like twenty grands

786
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:36,400
protein, like zero sugar. They're
perfect, man, super good. I

787
00:54:36,519 --> 00:54:37,760
like the halopenio one. Good bite
to that. In terms of the like

788
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,719
spice and stuff. All the flavors
are good, Cajun style I like a

789
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:45,320
lot too. Another awesome thing from
First Form is Optigreens fifty. It's a

790
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:51,360
precisely formulated green super food powder meant
for the overall immune system support and digestive

791
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,360
health. Taste great does it.
I've been mixing it with a lot of

792
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:58,719
my smoothies and making the morning nice
nice. Most of the green supplements out

793
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,360
there kind of overpower everything. This
one, you know, you know it's

794
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:07,840
actually doable. You know it doesn't
overpower the shake look. Taste is subjective

795
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,119
and a scale to an extent,
and if it beats all of its competitors.

796
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,719
It's great. Yeah, then it's
fucking Then it's great. Eighty percent

797
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,159
of you immune systems located in your
gut and digestive tracts. A healthy digestans

798
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essential for overall you know, health
and wellness. Optigreen fifty has fifty hand

799
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:27,239
shows and ingredients of face effectively dose. It's not necessarily how many ingredients though.

800
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The more important point is that there
is the right amount of each ingredient.

801
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Taste and texture are like no other
product on the market. It's not

802
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gritty, has a sweet berry flavor
from the natural flavors. One hundred percent

803
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of the green ingredients are grown and
manufactured in the USA. It's low temperature

804
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processed one hundred percent organic grasses.
Low temperature processing is great. It increases

805
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the bioavailability of the product needs.
Your body can more effectively utilize the nutrients

806
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dream Ros. All right, leto
go back to the show. Charlomagne claimed

836
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:45,199
that the foreskin was brought to him
by an angel while he was playing praying

837
00:57:45,239 --> 00:57:47,199
at the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem.
So some eyeballs dropped down from the sky

838
00:57:47,239 --> 00:57:51,639
and spat foreskin at him. Yeah, basically, yeah, I love that

839
00:57:51,719 --> 00:57:55,280
book. Apparently, though it was
actually gifted to him by the Byzantine Empress

840
00:57:55,480 --> 00:58:00,239
Irene, and then he regifted it
to the Pope. Oh he was a

841
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:04,480
regifter. Yeah, you know,
regifted the foreskin. You're gonna make some

842
00:58:05,159 --> 00:58:07,639
cool. He's German, right,
so he's like, what the fuck am

843
00:58:07,639 --> 00:58:10,519
I going to do if this false? Give it just a pulpy you like

844
00:58:10,679 --> 00:58:17,599
it, that's very pulpy, But
imagine passing on Jesus. This is foreskin.

845
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:22,400
It doesn't matter any party Jesus.
Yeah, like truly, like if

846
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,599
someone handed you, like Jesus bloody
toenail and you were just like, nah,

847
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:29,559
you can't do that. You can't
nah that, I can't, Well

848
00:58:29,599 --> 00:58:31,119
you can. I mean no,
I'm good. Actually i'd keep that.

849
00:58:32,679 --> 00:58:36,360
You have to prove it though.
You would come up to me with a

850
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,320
foreskin or a bloody toneail here.
Oh well, can I tell you how

851
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:43,079
it was proved? Yeah? Cool? I want to take this. I

852
00:58:43,159 --> 00:58:45,480
want I want to find it first
off and then take it to like Rick

853
00:58:45,599 --> 00:58:49,599
from Pond Stars. The best I
can do is three hundred. That was

854
00:58:49,639 --> 00:58:51,679
the bare minimum. I want.
I want to see the guy. He

855
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:55,360
pools though his expert. So on
the foreskin. Check it out. The

856
00:58:55,480 --> 00:59:02,199
foreskin and it's location, it's whereabouts
a recent mystery, it's been stolen.

857
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:07,039
We'll get to that, okay,
how they prove it? So it's authenticity

858
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:14,280
was later considered to be confirmed because
of a vision by Saint Bridget of Sweden.

859
00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:22,360
She confirmed in her vision that it
was somewhere in Rome, and she

860
00:59:22,599 --> 00:59:30,719
essentially said that she had a vision
wherein she received the Holy Prepis as a

861
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:37,000
wedding ring and it symbolized her marriage
for Christ. So I'm sorry, Catherine

862
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:40,639
of Siena to that. Saint Bridget
made it known that she had received in

863
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:46,079
her vision bits of prepis from an
angel, which she put on her tongue.

864
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:52,679
Okay and Christ. Yeah, And
as soon as she tasted the baby

865
00:59:52,800 --> 01:00:00,679
Jesus's foreskin, she had a full
body orgasm. Neats. Cool religion,

866
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:06,119
guys, real cool stuff you got
going on over there? Sounds better than

867
01:00:06,199 --> 01:00:10,280
Molly, I mean, kind of
just sounds like Molly. Yes, well

868
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:15,440
he's popping off as and as you
my tongue, I can give you her

869
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,840
exact this is what exactly what she
said. You tell me what this sounds

870
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:22,079
like Molly. This is exact words. Well, my dick wouldn't work if

871
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,280
I was on Molly. So that's
the that's the sick game Molly plays with

872
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:29,519
you. Yeah, it does work, but you can never come sick.

873
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:34,239
Just fuck for twelve hours. Why
not? Sounds like sounds better than like

874
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,719
a gay orgy where you're just doing
math, because that has the same effect.

875
01:00:38,159 --> 01:00:43,880
Got a gay orgy on Molly where
you're just fucking forever some million dudes

876
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:47,599
and just never come, never getting
off. The ultimate edge train never stops.

877
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,800
Okay, so describe like fucking that's
the real crazy train right there.

878
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:58,400
No, it's crazy. What is
the movie the futuristic movie? Oh,

879
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:07,199
snow Piercer. Yeah, ask Piercer. The train never stops, just keeps

880
01:01:07,239 --> 01:01:10,000
going or everyone dies. Yeah,
snow Piercer could also just be a movie

881
01:01:10,039 --> 01:01:14,639
where a bunch of guys do blow
and their dicks still can't work. Yeah.

882
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:20,719
So she wrote so great, what
about the again? About the foreskin

883
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:23,119
that she tasted and gave her a
full full body orgasm. Um. So

884
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:29,760
great was the sweetness at the swallowing
of this membrane that she felt a sweet

885
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:34,000
transformation in all her members and the
muscles of her members. Now here's the

886
01:01:34,039 --> 01:01:38,800
thing, right, Rob, we
can take your children's foreskin, have a

887
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:45,639
Catholic priest do the Eucharis blessing over
it, and it will technically be it

888
01:01:45,679 --> 01:01:49,559
should trans substantiate. Yes, it
will become Jesus. Yeah. Yeah.

889
01:01:49,719 --> 01:01:58,039
What if you just go up to
communion and you're like, they like body

890
01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:00,119
of Christ and you're like, no, no, no, I'll take the

891
01:02:00,159 --> 01:02:01,679
foreskin and they're like what and you
just punch a hole out of the middle

892
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:07,159
and they're like, now, bless
it. I want to I want to

893
01:02:07,119 --> 01:02:09,960
byoe, this is the body of
Christ, like I know, but I

894
01:02:10,039 --> 01:02:14,800
need it to be a specific party. I'm trying to get off my bad

895
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:16,679
habits. I'm trying to kick Molly. I hear this does the truth?

896
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:20,800
Does I hear? This is wild? Yeah? We can do this every

897
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:22,920
Sunday Brunch is gonna be great.
So it turns out that tasting the Holy

898
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:29,639
foreskin was common. People tasted the
Oh and by the way, there are

899
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:35,199
about eighteen different foreskins being claimed in
the Middle Ages. Better hope you get

900
01:02:35,239 --> 01:02:37,239
the right one. I know.
Right, The people tasted the alleged holy

901
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:40,760
foreskins to verify that they were real
people would do all sorts of things to

902
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:45,559
be able to attest if the relics
they were seeing were real whatever the relic

903
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:49,320
was, including touching them, kissing
them, and so on. The most

904
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:54,400
accepted test of the veracity of foreskin
was tasting. A properly trained physician chosen

905
01:02:54,480 --> 01:03:00,360
by the local priests would taste the
shriveled leather in order to determine whether it

906
01:03:00,519 --> 01:03:05,280
was holy or partly human skin.
Um okay, hear me, hear me

907
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:09,480
on. Everyone who does that test
verifies that it's real. No one's ever

908
01:03:09,559 --> 01:03:12,960
been like, Nah, it's not
it right, I just had a random

909
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,760
foreskin in my mouth. Man,
that Joe no reason. The joke really

910
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:19,880
writes itself like a Catholic priest knows
exactly what a boy's foreskin tastes like.

911
01:03:20,679 --> 01:03:23,199
Jesus Christ. Yeah, no,
that's it. That's what they said,

912
01:03:23,719 --> 01:03:31,679
Jesus Christ. Uh. These tasters
were called croak propos prep who says,

913
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:36,599
which translates to foreskin biters. It's
not just like a name of a sandwich

914
01:03:36,679 --> 01:03:42,159
and mad the croc croak is biter, I think. Oh okay, so

915
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:45,880
croak madam is like a lady biter. I guess huh, a lady's bite

916
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:50,039
actually, probably because it's a smaller
sandwich. Yeah, it's probably like a

917
01:03:50,079 --> 01:03:53,880
bite for a lady. Essentially the
crop who say, is a yeah,

918
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:57,679
the bite of a foreskin? Um, what are you kicking it in?

919
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:01,079
Like butter wells truffle oil? It
comes in oil, so I think you

920
01:04:01,079 --> 01:04:04,480
would almost want to roll it in
some seasoning or something like that. Mean,

921
01:04:04,599 --> 01:04:08,440
no, what do you come fee? Oh? Yeah, you just

922
01:04:08,639 --> 01:04:12,159
kind of like slow cook it in
that oil. Yeah, yeah, put

923
01:04:12,199 --> 01:04:15,360
it on a cracker or something.
You can do it like a on like

924
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:17,960
a blintz or something like that,
like or like a little tiny like potato

925
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,400
like you know what they do with
caviar or it's like the little potato pillow.

926
01:04:20,679 --> 01:04:25,000
Yeah, you can do that.
That makes sense. It's almost I

927
01:04:25,039 --> 01:04:29,000
mean it's just the one foreskin,
so it's almost u um, what do

928
01:04:29,039 --> 01:04:31,000
you call it, like parsley and
stuff like that? A garnish. It's

929
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:35,920
a garnish. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, you get like some really nice

930
01:04:36,079 --> 01:04:42,239
like Pacific fish. You know.
You like if you want to like directly

931
01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:45,320
in your blushroom, do you snort
it or well you dry it? Then

932
01:04:45,519 --> 01:04:47,960
you would have to dry it first. I don't think it's dry. Yeah,

933
01:04:48,119 --> 01:04:50,920
it's it's I think it's still pretty
in pretty good condition. I guess

934
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:55,280
you could like get some the run
off oil and like you know, tie

935
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:58,360
a belt off and inject it.
Yeah, light up a spoon. Yeah,

936
01:04:59,519 --> 01:05:01,119
that would be a really bad thing
to do with oil to then inchect

937
01:05:01,159 --> 01:05:06,239
into yourself. Yeah, it's God
ejecting flames and it's hot oil. So

938
01:05:08,039 --> 01:05:12,119
Rome was sacked in fifteen twenty seven. So Leo kept Leo kept put the

939
01:05:12,239 --> 01:05:15,159
put the foreskin in Rome in the
Vatican and everything, and kept it there.

940
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,480
Rome was sacked in fifteen twenty seven
by the Holy Roman Empire during the

941
01:05:18,519 --> 01:05:23,760
War of the League of Kogiak.
There there's a Protestant versus Catholic war.

942
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:28,559
A German soldier stole Jesus' foreskin,
oh Dick. The soldier, however,

943
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:32,400
was captured in the town of Calcatta, only forty seven kilometers north of Rome.

944
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:38,679
The foreskin was confiscated from him and
kept in a church there. It

945
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:45,360
became a massive pilgrimage destination for nuns, priests and so on. However,

946
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:53,599
in nineteen eighty three this foreskin disappeared, and up until nineteen eighty three,

947
01:05:53,639 --> 01:05:57,800
they were having yearly parades starring the
Foreskin, and at the end of the

948
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:00,000
parade, the Foreskin would float up, turnside ways like a little mouth and

949
01:06:00,119 --> 01:06:09,199
just talk to him. Yeah,
thank you everyone coming. That's what I

950
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:13,039
think about, like the worst Star
Wars character. Yeah, just the disembodied

951
01:06:13,119 --> 01:06:20,559
mouth, just a circle flesh thing. That's like the delegation from Touch week.

952
01:06:23,159 --> 01:06:25,599
And he's supposed to be the big
bat at the end that they have

953
01:06:25,679 --> 01:06:28,679
to rewrite it because just a little
many people hate him. It's a little

954
01:06:28,679 --> 01:06:33,639
floating lightsaber next to the floating foreskin. Uh so, like I said,

955
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,800
still better than jar Jar Banks.
It is, like I said, one

956
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:43,400
of this is one of eighteen foreskins
floating around one of the most famous prepoises

957
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:46,760
other than the one we talked about. Uh, Peters, what we got

958
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:50,119
pets? No, No, same, it's Jesus. It's another claimant at

959
01:06:50,159 --> 01:06:54,159
to be Jesus is forced. I
thought they're gonna be other foreskins that kind

960
01:06:54,199 --> 01:06:58,840
of Pete. But obviously when Peter
was circumcised, no one thought to keep

961
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,639
it right, Like, yeah he
wasn't. Do you think you think he

962
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:04,559
was? Like you know what,
this is bullshit? This is bullshit.

963
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:10,079
You cut his off, everyone's clamoring
for it, gets put in a bottle

964
01:07:10,119 --> 01:07:14,119
of oil or whatever. I get
my dick cut. You just throw it

965
01:07:14,159 --> 01:07:15,400
in the cave? Did throw it? A fucking garbage like? Yeah,

966
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:19,679
I am the rock of which this
church was built. And I saw I

967
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:25,639
saw a mouse eat my foeskin thirty
seconds after you cut it off. You

968
01:07:25,719 --> 01:07:28,320
just threw it in the right You
threw it in the giant pile of all

969
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:30,360
the other four skins in that cave. That that cave is disgusting, smelling.

970
01:07:31,119 --> 01:07:35,679
By the way, there's a gross
cave. That's the worst cave on

971
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:41,000
the most unsanitary cave you can find. Uh So, one of the other

972
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:44,559
foreskins was sent to Antwerp in eleven
hundred. It was a gift from King

973
01:07:44,639 --> 01:07:48,800
Baldwin, the First of Jerusalem,
famously played by um what's his name ed

974
01:07:49,639 --> 01:07:56,840
Edward Norton in um Kingdom of Heaven. Yeah, thank you. I'm pretty

975
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:59,800
sure, by the way, with
this one, like I think he would.

976
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:02,400
This guy was just walking through Jerusalem
and some street venders sold him a

977
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:08,159
piece of calamari. There's a piece
of squid, and it was like Jesus

978
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:12,840
fur. Little Jesus Christ is the
hill he was crucified on. It's from

979
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:15,279
here, fur skin. I have
it. I don't think he got it

980
01:08:15,439 --> 01:08:19,840
from a reputable place. No,
it's probably just a flaky snake skin.

981
01:08:20,399 --> 01:08:26,399
Yeah, that guy's just finding like
old snakeskin, cutting it like a hundred

982
01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:31,000
times, like you're Christian. You're
Christian. First, it's christ the christosky

983
01:08:31,039 --> 01:08:33,439
and then it's like a fucking gift
shop. It's guy game on it.

984
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:38,199
It's like, oh, you want
the one with your name. N't say

985
01:08:38,199 --> 01:08:42,279
a cobra, but he is.
He's a powerful man. He's cobra for

986
01:08:42,399 --> 01:08:45,239
pan this. You're not from here, don't no, don't no clip it

987
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:53,760
just be doing voices. Feskin,
the far skin the Jesus christa's a far

988
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,800
skin here. You are you Christian? I have a far skin of the

989
01:08:56,920 --> 01:09:03,479
Jesus Christ. Fifty thou that's what
it feels more. Someone called me racist

990
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:10,159
because they caught him a landlord.
I know of all these comments, and

991
01:09:10,319 --> 01:09:15,359
that was really landlord. That's we'd
be in some wild comments like not like

992
01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:18,439
why not really wild, but like
from people don't witchy comments like that.

993
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:21,960
There was one dude who was like
yelled at us for the elephant or yelled

994
01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:26,760
at my elephant meme where I was
just like baby elephant having the worst day

995
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:30,960
of its life because it was chained
to a water The baby elephant loves water

996
01:09:32,279 --> 01:09:36,399
or something, you cause pussy's He's
like, imagine putting your fucking modern views

997
01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:40,760
on something from a hundred years ago. And I'm like, years ago.

998
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:46,960
And also it's forgot even that,
Like, I agree they didn't understand animals

999
01:09:47,079 --> 01:09:50,760
necessarily the same way we understand them
now, but we also rep for topsy

1000
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:56,319
here. But also it's worth noting
that whether or not we understood animals a

1001
01:09:56,399 --> 01:10:00,079
certain way, it's clear that that
elephant was having a horrible type like that

1002
01:10:00,199 --> 01:10:03,760
doesn't change. No, the elephant
wasn't like the elephants views weren't different,

1003
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,159
right, The elephant's views are the
same then as they would be now we

1004
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:12,520
have the different views. Yea,
the elephant is clearly having a terrible time.

1005
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:15,199
I don't know, he looked like
he's having fun. Oh no,

1006
01:10:15,279 --> 01:10:19,680
man, he jumped a shark.
Afterward it was he popped out a pack

1007
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:23,960
of unfiltered key strikes, And it's
like, all, I like, you

1008
01:10:24,079 --> 01:10:26,800
just post a picture of a slave
and you're just like, man, this

1009
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,479
guy's having a bad day. You're
like, imagine judging people from the path

1010
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:32,119
by your standards, Like, no, I think it was a bad day

1011
01:10:32,199 --> 01:10:34,600
for him, Like I think it
was. I think every day it was

1012
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:38,359
a bad day for him. And
then of course you get a bad day.

1013
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,960
That's what you're calling that. It's
like, yeah, the other part

1014
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:45,399
of it, right, No,
everyone knows, right, yeah, which

1015
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:47,239
it's like, I guess you could
call that an understatement, but it's correct,

1016
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:51,720
just categorically bad, right, it's
not ass that we're making ways.

1017
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:59,239
So yeah, so um, the
Holy foreskin that was presented by monks Charlie,

1018
01:11:00,039 --> 01:11:02,840
Lesulely Charlemagne is just I'm sorry.
Charlogne also presented the Holy foreskin to

1019
01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:08,520
some months. So he was just
giving away foreskins left and right. That

1020
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:11,600
tells me it's not actually, yeah, the foreskin of Jesus. If he's

1021
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:14,199
willing to give it away, he's
just he's like, get me a foreskin.

1022
01:11:14,239 --> 01:11:16,920
I gotta give something away to these
guys. It's cheap gifts. He

1023
01:11:17,039 --> 01:11:21,159
went to Costco. Yeah, he
just like give me a pigs for off

1024
01:11:21,239 --> 01:11:26,039
the box? Right, did he
went to Costco? It's like, I'll

1025
01:11:26,079 --> 01:11:30,239
get the bulk foreskin. This will
be my gift. This is it.

1026
01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:34,399
So that relic went missing and it
was lost until eighteen fifty six when someone

1027
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:39,119
they were doing construction in the abbey
that when busted a hole in the wall

1028
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:44,840
and found a force on some foreskins
to shining light last in their eyes.

1029
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,399
That was again a contractor that didn't
want to work that day. It's like,

1030
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:51,239
oh my god, buddy. Is
like they do construction in Joel Ostein's

1031
01:11:53,039 --> 01:11:56,199
church and they find like five hundred
grand in the walls, which they that

1032
01:11:56,279 --> 01:12:00,319
happened. And then you know you're
doing construction in an abbey and jarny in

1033
01:12:00,319 --> 01:12:03,399
the eighteen hundreds and you just find
Christ's foreskin. It'd be funny if they

1034
01:12:03,439 --> 01:12:09,239
found that in Joel Stains church,
Christ's foreskin. Yeah, I believe I'd

1035
01:12:09,239 --> 01:12:13,680
go to that church the next day. Um. But here's maybe the best

1036
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:19,279
theory okay about jesus four skin.
There was I think a monk or something

1037
01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:27,199
some sort of like Thomas Aquinas esque
person sort of theorist and philosopher on Christianity.

1038
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:33,600
He said that sense Jesus's foreskin was
part of Jesus like part of his

1039
01:12:33,720 --> 01:12:41,279
flesh, and Jesus ascended to heaven
in the flash. I know where this

1040
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:46,359
is going. Do you the foreskin
wherever it was also rose up somewhere else.

1041
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:50,520
It just levitated, said all times, floated up to heaven. Well,

1042
01:12:50,560 --> 01:12:56,119
it stopped somewhere. Do you mean
it stopped? Did a bird pick

1043
01:12:56,159 --> 01:12:59,119
it up or on its way up? Nope? It's better than that,

1044
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,159
you guys. I'll never look through
a telescope the same way again. Let

1045
01:13:02,199 --> 01:13:09,159
me just tell you that jesus foreskin, they thought, ascended up into the

1046
01:13:09,319 --> 01:13:15,199
heavens and became Saturn's rings, the
old magic foreskins. Yeah, the next

1047
01:13:15,239 --> 01:13:18,239
time you see well, space does
stretch everything out, expands it. Right,

1048
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:23,279
the next time you see Saturn,
know that it's surrounded by Jesus's foreskin.

1049
01:13:23,720 --> 01:13:27,079
That would explain the rings. So
there's so much of Jesus's foreskin because

1050
01:13:27,079 --> 01:13:30,239
it keeps breaking off Saturn and falling
back to Earth. Yea god is endless,

1051
01:13:30,359 --> 01:13:34,560
Yes, so limited foreskin. Really
it checks out. I also learned

1052
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:38,279
that we have a new watch along
we're going to have to do because on

1053
01:13:38,359 --> 01:13:43,680
December twenty, twenty thirteen, National
Geographic Broadcast a documentary UM called The Quest

1054
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:49,039
for the Holy Foreskin. It was
a first of Monty Python movie that needs

1055
01:13:49,079 --> 01:13:53,359
to be the sequel to The Holy
Grail, Right, the Holy Foreskin?

1056
01:13:55,239 --> 01:13:59,640
Um yeah, so magic foreskin theory
is already my favorite theory. Oh yeah.

1057
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:02,119
And there was even there was part
of the There was even a debate

1058
01:14:02,119 --> 01:14:06,520
about whether Jesus was even circumcised or
not. Some people think Christ's body must

1059
01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:10,600
have been whole because that's how God
designed it, and that a Jew's penis

1060
01:14:10,720 --> 01:14:15,279
was a sin against creation. I
have been called at a time or two

1061
01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:17,079
your penis. Yeah, like you
just pulled down your pants ready to go,

1062
01:14:17,239 --> 01:14:21,399
and she's like, that is a
sin against creation. Yeah, and

1063
01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:25,479
I'm out of here. You're like, yeah, too big, too great.

1064
01:14:27,319 --> 01:14:30,680
No, never happened to me.
I'm lying. I'm lying for fun,

1065
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:33,399
that's true. I set up a
little nanny cam in your room and

1066
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:38,319
I never heard anyone say that,
So kind of do explore. The Saturn

1067
01:14:38,439 --> 01:14:43,359
theory kind of checks out though,
because one of its moons, right titan

1068
01:14:44,319 --> 01:14:46,640
Is, they said, could probably
it's most likely of any place in this

1069
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:51,159
galaxy to host life as well because
it has water. Yeah, so like

1070
01:14:51,359 --> 01:14:55,359
maybe you know just trying to check
out his people on Titan. Is it

1071
01:14:55,439 --> 01:14:58,479
Titan? Or is Titan that wonder? Is it Europa? Is that Jupiter?

1072
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:02,800
I'm thinking of Jupiter and Saturn both
have life bearing moons potentially, Yeah,

1073
01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:09,680
don't ruin my narrative. I know, I'm rative. I'm going wherever

1074
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:15,000
Jesus is and if it's Saturn's rings. There is a huge conspiracy theory around

1075
01:15:15,119 --> 01:15:19,600
Saturn in general, the hexagonal black
storm on the pole of it. There's

1076
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:24,399
a hexagon storm, Okay, a
pole of Saturn that a bunch of theorists

1077
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:31,960
believe is a a reality generator that
transposes the holographic universe onto us and traps

1078
01:15:32,039 --> 01:15:36,159
us in a reincarnation cycle. It's
pretty wild, man, all right.

1079
01:15:36,239 --> 01:15:39,079
I mean, I guess as long
as we keep getting to be alive.

1080
01:15:39,319 --> 01:15:43,600
Yeah, Like Saturn was the god
in the sky. Like Saturn was really

1081
01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:45,640
close to us, Like we could
see Saturn and like the storm from our

1082
01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,960
naked eye, it was, it
hovered above us. It was our first

1083
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:51,439
son. Given what you have,
now, what do you think you were

1084
01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:59,840
like in the past life? Oh
scrapping? Are you? Uh? Yeah?

1085
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,720
Sering for some of your crimes?
Me right now? Yeah, I

1086
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:06,399
think doing pretty okay. I don't
think this couldn't be a karma situation.

1087
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:11,600
Mike I says, I've I've been
like this every time, like just like

1088
01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:17,439
doing fine wildly mediocre, should be
doing better, but not. The effort

1089
01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:21,960
just never comes. Yeah. Yeah, and it keeps trying to teach me

1090
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:26,279
the same life lesson. I keep
ignoring it. Well, it's it's that

1091
01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:30,359
is the regenerator's fault for not giving
you any memory. The last one,

1092
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:34,680
man, he just never learns when
I wipe his memory clean. Why did

1093
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:39,079
they do that? What's wrong with
him? It's a dumb way to go

1094
01:16:39,159 --> 01:16:43,760
about teaching lessons, alright, just
like the kid doesn't get algebra, so

1095
01:16:43,880 --> 01:16:45,840
you just give him like a traumatic
brain injury and like come back tomorrow.

1096
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:49,760
He doesn't get it today either.
Oh he did his hair wrong, let's

1097
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:54,479
shave it all off, right,
Yeah you just ruf um yeah like that.

1098
01:16:54,520 --> 01:16:58,399
I'll get it tomorrow, baby.
Um. The whole foreskin thing's really

1099
01:16:58,439 --> 01:17:02,079
interesting though, because people think that
essentially it was worshiped because it showed Jesus's

1100
01:17:02,199 --> 01:17:05,760
humanity that he could be cut.
Oh, like he could take a wound.

1101
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:09,880
Yeah, they cross didn't do that. The cross alone wasn't enough.

1102
01:17:10,279 --> 01:17:14,760
There's been some interesting mentions of it
in pop culture as well. Actually,

1103
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,199
Voltaire wrote a little bit about it
that checks out. You know, there's

1104
01:17:17,199 --> 01:17:21,479
a lot of people back then too
that would do the stigmata or whatever come

1105
01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:25,880
they faked the stigmata. Yeah,
I wonder if anyone faked you know,

1106
01:17:26,239 --> 01:17:31,039
Jesus's foreskin with their own foreskin just
popped off. They just cut themselves or

1107
01:17:31,119 --> 01:17:34,600
like an angel came down and circled
they stigmata their penis. Yeah, yeah,

1108
01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:39,680
yeah, I think that happened frequently. I was sleeping at night and

1109
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:44,039
I felt a tug, a tug
by an angel in a ball of eyes

1110
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:47,399
cut my penis up. Bayes is
doing a lot of weird work. It

1111
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:51,000
just floated up to what who Charlottagne
and spit a foreskin at him? Yeah,

1112
01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:56,439
that ballab eyeballs has a lot to
answer for. If it's just like

1113
01:17:56,520 --> 01:18:01,199
back up and haven't spoken a cigarette
like that? Worn? What do I

1114
01:18:01,279 --> 01:18:03,960
do today? Well, I exist
outside of time, So what I did

1115
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:08,960
today is everything I've ever done,
which is a bit of foreskin at a

1116
01:18:09,039 --> 01:18:13,840
king fuck a twelve year old that
just never ends. No, if I

1117
01:18:14,319 --> 01:18:16,840
if all the heaven stuff is true, the angels stuff and all that,

1118
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:18,760
and I get up there at first
thing, I'm gonna be like, you

1119
01:18:19,279 --> 01:18:24,720
could create anything, right, that's
the one you went with. Whos the

1120
01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:27,279
first draft? Well they made the
angels before they made humans. Yeah,

1121
01:18:27,319 --> 01:18:30,560
so first drafts it is. They
are first drafts, like, like,

1122
01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:32,800
well it would be maybe it would
be useful if they could see everything all

1123
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:34,840
at once. Yeah, and then
eventually they're just like, oh, I'll

1124
01:18:34,880 --> 01:18:39,000
make an owl. They can just
turn a hand. Yeah, makes a

1125
01:18:39,039 --> 01:18:41,760
lot more sense. It might be
better. Ye, Sorry, h Angel,

1126
01:18:43,359 --> 01:18:45,199
I won't kill you, of course, but I mean you're you're you

1127
01:18:45,279 --> 01:18:48,279
want to give charliean this dick skin? Yeah, Like, hey, all

1128
01:18:48,359 --> 01:18:50,560
right, so I'm sorry for making
you the way you are. However,

1129
01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:56,439
as an apology, would you like
to get laid? That would be a

1130
01:18:56,560 --> 01:19:00,279
fun cartoon to write. Like the
eyeball thing is just like a little dog

1131
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:09,079
kind of thing up in habits.
Oh good boy. I was weirdly watching

1132
01:19:09,159 --> 01:19:12,960
videos this morning of owl's like having
a hard time taking off in cold weather.

1133
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:17,520
Like there their wings just kind of
like freeze a little bit, so

1134
01:19:17,680 --> 01:19:21,760
they can't fully take off and they
just kind of plunge down into the dude,

1135
01:19:23,119 --> 01:19:25,920
I love videos like that. I'm
glad you mentioned that. I watched

1136
01:19:26,039 --> 01:19:29,920
like a couple of videos, like
you know, when deer shed their their

1137
01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:31,800
bucks, shed their antlers. Every
year, it happens every year. Yeah,

1138
01:19:32,039 --> 01:19:35,319
it scares the shit out of them, like it happens to them every

1139
01:19:35,399 --> 01:19:40,039
year, and it shocks them whenever
it happens. Like they're just like walking

1140
01:19:40,039 --> 01:19:43,680
around and it'll just go clunk,
like what the fuck? Like you imagine

1141
01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:46,039
if like, for all, they're
already skittis, Yeah, their skittish animal,

1142
01:19:46,159 --> 01:19:49,000
yeah for like, but imagine like
the equivalent of that would be like

1143
01:19:49,319 --> 01:19:54,279
for an entire year you grow your
fingernails or like you just grow like a

1144
01:19:54,319 --> 01:19:58,079
weird your teeth just fall out.
Like that would freak me out too,

1145
01:19:58,319 --> 01:20:00,920
even though I knew what was happening
every year. Yeah, anyway, animals

1146
01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:04,880
are fun. I agree with that. Voltaire wrote the Holy foreskin as being

1147
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:10,159
one of a number of superstitions that
were much more reasonable than to detest and

1148
01:20:10,279 --> 01:20:13,640
persecute your brother. So essentially,
I think Voltaire wrote, like, guys,

1149
01:20:13,760 --> 01:20:16,560
it's more reasonable to believe that Jesus's
foreskin has children in that church than

1150
01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:25,479
to guillotine your buddy because he's not
radical enough. Yeah, that checks out.

1151
01:20:25,600 --> 01:20:29,600
So that's by this point the Holy
Foreskin had become so ridiculous that they

1152
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:34,279
were talking to shit on it.
Yeah. Weirdly, In Chuck Polani's book

1153
01:20:34,399 --> 01:20:39,600
Choke, which got made into a
Sam Rockwell movie in twenty eight the character

1154
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:44,079
the main characters told he was cloned
from Jesus's foreskin. I don't remember.

1155
01:20:44,199 --> 01:20:45,720
That might not have made the cut
in the movie. I don't think that

1156
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:47,680
made the cut of the movie.
You've been spend a long time, right,

1157
01:20:47,960 --> 01:20:51,600
Like, if we did have it, we're definitely clone in Jesus.

1158
01:20:53,560 --> 01:20:59,560
Now, Dan, here's something that
is relevant to me and you, And

1159
01:20:59,680 --> 01:21:03,199
it's kind of goes back to Voltaire's
thing a little bit too. The church,

1160
01:21:03,319 --> 01:21:10,720
the Catholic Church, noticed that people
kind of started making crass jokes a

1161
01:21:10,840 --> 01:21:15,960
lot about the Holy foreskin because and
you know, making fun of it because

1162
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,800
it's piece of a penis and all
that stuff, right, very serious stuff.

1163
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:26,000
Yeah, So in nineteen hundred,
Pope Leo the thirteenth ten Leo's later,

1164
01:21:27,079 --> 01:21:30,800
Oh shait, can I guess what? Making fun of the Holy foreskin

1165
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:35,119
has now been kind of wrapped into
one of the commandments. Blasphemy about blasphemy,

1166
01:21:35,279 --> 01:21:43,239
yeah, some mortal sin more than
that even Oh no, straight,

1167
01:21:43,279 --> 01:21:47,960
Now, the church can immediately excommunicate
you if they find out you're making fun

1168
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:53,119
of the Holy foreskin lore. So
we're getting excommunicated. We could be excommunicated

1169
01:21:53,239 --> 01:21:58,560
tomorrow for doing this podcast. I
am I am emailing the pope. That's

1170
01:21:58,600 --> 01:22:01,000
not a joke. Yeah, but
it's cool. He might let Oh we'll

1171
01:22:01,039 --> 01:22:05,479
find out. Boys. Would Benedict's
taken this to a camp? Yeah,

1172
01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:09,760
yeah, he's worked him before.
You want to go to Ben's camps.

1173
01:22:11,079 --> 01:22:13,920
Yea, he knows that he knows
how to make a good, good,

1174
01:22:14,119 --> 01:22:16,720
conficient one. Yeah, um,
but that is all I've got for the

1175
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:24,079
Holy prepus for Jesus's foreskin. Would
you guys learn today so much? So

1176
01:22:24,199 --> 01:22:29,199
much? One. I didn't realize
the eyeball dog angel thing fucked Mary.

1177
01:22:29,279 --> 01:22:32,039
I didn't realize that was what God
her pregnant, well, Gabriel, And

1178
01:22:32,239 --> 01:22:36,000
it depends on the it depends on
the I learned that Joseph had absolutely no

1179
01:22:36,159 --> 01:22:41,239
skill zeros. He was just a
dude, just a guy. He's a

1180
01:22:41,399 --> 01:22:44,880
guy. He was a guy that
if you paid him he'd cut your hair,

1181
01:22:45,279 --> 01:22:49,479
might show up yeah all time.
Maybe, Yeah, he does work

1182
01:22:51,039 --> 01:22:55,800
when he's ready. Um, I
learned to you that Charlomagne bad gifter,

1183
01:22:56,439 --> 01:23:01,960
bad gifter of foreskin. Yeah,
and just say Irene gave it to you.

1184
01:23:02,359 --> 01:23:06,880
Yeah that wasn't That was before by
the way, that the the schism.

1185
01:23:08,039 --> 01:23:11,760
So she was Catholic too, m
So it's not like, you know,

1186
01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:16,920
weird she's a heretic or something.
Would you learn Dan Joseph had no

1187
01:23:17,319 --> 01:23:20,840
oh, no skill value, no
skills, no marketable skills for Joe.

1188
01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:27,560
Yeah. Yeah, and who's today's
hitler? Mm hmm. That's a tough

1189
01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:32,960
one. Can I go with Jesus? Why when Jesus do? Um?

1190
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:36,560
Well, first off had to say
that he's the son of God. A

1191
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:42,079
little he's insisting upon himself a little
bit like he turns, Hey I'm God,

1192
01:23:43,359 --> 01:23:45,279
just so you fucking no, this
baby's real full of himself. Yeah,

1193
01:23:46,399 --> 01:23:48,279
I left out of here. That
was really funny too with his birth,

1194
01:23:48,520 --> 01:23:54,880
the teleportation birth, so like one
there were two midwives there and one

1195
01:23:55,039 --> 01:23:58,560
was like, oh, it's amazing, and the other one was just being

1196
01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:00,760
a good midwife and was like,
oh, okay, okay, So the

1197
01:24:00,760 --> 01:24:02,800
baby teleported. This is clearly God. I still just want to check her

1198
01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:06,800
vagina to make sure everything's good,
like just being doing her due diligence.

1199
01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:13,359
Yea doubted God died on the spot, close doubted God. Her hand shriveled

1200
01:24:13,359 --> 01:24:16,279
into a dead hand. God's kind
of an asshole. The god she used

1201
01:24:16,319 --> 01:24:20,119
their hands she used to check Mary's
vagina Old testament God right there. Yeah,

1202
01:24:20,239 --> 01:24:26,279
well that was the transition I know. Yeah, so he didn't kill

1203
01:24:26,319 --> 01:24:30,560
her, but still how to get
some some blood? That's yeah. They

1204
01:24:30,760 --> 01:24:32,720
just started the whole turn the other
cheek thing then to you know, work

1205
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:35,800
their way into it. Yeah.
Can I tell you who's today who today's

1206
01:24:35,840 --> 01:24:40,920
real hitlers are? Yeah, it's
me and Dan. Oh yeah, you're

1207
01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:45,319
both excommunicated for making fun of the
Holy brief Us Pope. I'm okay what

1208
01:24:45,439 --> 01:24:50,640
that is. Yeah, we're today's
hitlers. I did my time, but

1209
01:24:50,720 --> 01:24:54,079
that's all I've got. Thank you, Thank you again so much for listening,

1210
01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:58,199
um, subscribing and everything again.
Leave her review stars five stars.

1211
01:24:58,359 --> 01:25:00,119
Write a review, writing the review
it was a big thing. And then

1212
01:25:00,239 --> 01:25:02,399
look, if you like these episodes, we got so we got a fun

1213
01:25:02,479 --> 01:25:06,960
Patreon episode coming up this week.
Two actually because we got two every week,

1214
01:25:08,079 --> 01:25:09,800
well, we have two every week, but I mean the fun like

1215
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:14,479
Wednesday episode. I suppose extra I
just like game shows, so I'm extra

1216
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:16,840
excited. Yeah, but yeah,
Patreon's dope. Check it out. Um,

1217
01:25:17,239 --> 01:25:19,920
thank you so much for subscribing already
and everything like that for those who

1218
01:25:19,960 --> 01:25:25,319
are there. And obviously we do
the voicemail episodes most weeks when we have

1219
01:25:25,479 --> 01:25:28,960
enough. Yep. Um. That
number again was what five one two,

1220
01:25:29,640 --> 01:25:33,359
five one four three? I just
realized it's five, five one three.

1221
01:25:33,760 --> 01:25:38,520
You follow the Pope on Twitter?
I do. I'm gonna DM this motherfucker.

1222
01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:42,279
Yeah, all right, do it? Do it, bitch, I

1223
01:25:42,359 --> 01:25:45,920
will. I'm like one of your
followers, Dude, that my parents would

1224
01:25:45,920 --> 01:25:48,960
look at me the way they looked
at me when I got suspended from high

1225
01:25:48,960 --> 01:25:54,960
school from my Catholic high school senior
year, like just like, how can

1226
01:25:55,039 --> 01:26:00,439
you be so like not stupid,
like doing hard drugs like hair win and

1227
01:26:00,439 --> 01:26:02,000
stuff like that, but just so
like I would put that on my resume,

1228
01:26:02,199 --> 01:26:08,760
reckless communicated by the Pope for making
fun of foreskin. I wouldn't say

1229
01:26:08,800 --> 01:26:13,159
that. I would just say excommunicated
because I'm a bad boy. I'd probably

1230
01:26:13,159 --> 01:26:15,840
brag about that too, be honest. Yeah, I kind of have to

1231
01:26:16,159 --> 01:26:18,920
you kind of drop that in every
conversation you have, Right, that's the

1232
01:26:19,039 --> 01:26:28,279
eighth sacrament. We're collecting them all
like infinity stones. It's the final stone,

1233
01:26:28,399 --> 01:26:30,760
is the foreskin I've done. Wait, I'm trying to think all of

1234
01:26:30,760 --> 01:26:32,199
the sacraments I've done. Now,
there's only there's one I can't do.

1235
01:26:32,359 --> 01:26:35,479
Well. I guess unless my wife
dies, which is being becoming a priest.

1236
01:26:36,319 --> 01:26:39,680
You still have time, I know. Yeah, Actually, can you

1237
01:26:39,760 --> 01:26:43,199
be a priest you've had sex,
yes, it's just after you just can't

1238
01:26:43,199 --> 01:26:45,119
be married. So if I get
with, if I get become a widower

1239
01:26:45,159 --> 01:26:51,600
tomorrow, I could become a priest. Okay, but I've had every sacrament

1240
01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:57,119
that is normal. I think for
my age, Acceptism, Eucharist, first

1241
01:26:57,159 --> 01:27:02,640
confession, m marriage, confirmation,
confirmation, marriage I can't have, can't

1242
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:05,159
have the priesthood. That would be
six. And then seventh is last rites.

1243
01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:12,600
You don't want the last rites,
not right now. And then eighth

1244
01:27:12,720 --> 01:27:15,199
is x experience get him like ahead
of time, the last rites. That's

1245
01:27:15,239 --> 01:27:18,840
kind of cover it. Yeah,
can we do this now? We just

1246
01:27:18,920 --> 01:27:23,399
can just get this all the way. Come on, but anyway, that's

1247
01:27:23,439 --> 01:27:26,520
all I got. Thank you guys
so much for Jake Goldman and Damage Jester.

1248
01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:29,640
I am Rob Fox, and you
just got self served.