WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:07.360 You're listening to KFI AM six on demand. Joyce, Welcome to the Jesus 2 00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:12.880 Christ Show. Thank you, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Joyce. What's 3 00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:20.039 on your mind? Well, eighteen years ago my husband was diagnosed with lung 4 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:26.359 cancer, and around December of that year he had one lung removed, and 5 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:32.000 then the following month, in January, he had one kidney removed because of 6 00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:37.719 lung cancer. And the doctor said, well, we'll do everything we can, 7 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:42.679 but I suggest you go home and get your fears in order during the 8 00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:51.880 next six months. So we were both dumbfound it. But thirty years he 9 00:00:52.039 --> 00:00:58.439 said, so many health issues and I miss him. I love miss so 10 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:04.120 much and he just as a month. And I've been trying to read all 11 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:11.319 the grief books and understand all these things. But I'm sorry for crime. 12 00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:21.560 Go through crying without wanting to, and then it'll be okay. But why 13 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:25.120 would you try to stop your crying? Why would you try and stop your 14 00:01:25.159 --> 00:01:33.920 tears? Because they make me feel like I shouldn't be doing that, that 15 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:41.159 I should be strong and brave and all the things you mentioned sometimes about being 16 00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:48.319 courageous. Oh but that's not no, that's that is fiction. There is 17 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:53.159 nothing weak about tears. There's there is only one place without tears, that 18 00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:57.439 says in scripture, and that's heaven, and that's the fulfillment of everything, 19 00:01:57.480 --> 00:02:02.760 and there's no need for them. Hope is fulfilled. But while you're here 20 00:02:02.799 --> 00:02:12.120 on earth, that is given to you as a gift to experience, to 21 00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:20.159 continue to have a physical reaction along with your emotions to a loss, a 22 00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:24.759 love, tears of joy, tears of pain, those are precious. They're 23 00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:30.280 not weak, not weak at all. Well, when you Mintioned mentioned passion 24 00:02:31.639 --> 00:02:37.159 a short time ago, I thought, you know, during all these years, 25 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:42.560 the past two years, he was pen bound and I was with them 26 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:47.680 all the time, helping him and taking care of them, and he never 27 00:02:47.759 --> 00:02:53.840 complained. He was always such a good person, and I would get short 28 00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:59.280 with him sometimes. I think sometimes now I think I should have been kinder. 29 00:03:00.199 --> 00:03:06.479 But I always say passion for not what what you said about I was 30 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:09.159 always he would say, oh, i'll see in a few minutes, because 31 00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:13.719 I keep going back in and talking to him or telling him something. And 32 00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:15.919 I said, I can't help it. Here like a magnet, you just 33 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:25.000 I just like seeing you, you know anyway. But I'm not even sure 34 00:03:25.039 --> 00:03:30.919 what to say anymore. He was just such a kind I think I think 35 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:36.360 part of it was he was my everything. He was my friend, he 36 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:40.680 was my husband, he was my confidant, he was everything. He was 37 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:47.759 a little boy sometimes and a strong man. And and I just miss all 38 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:53.759 of those people. Well, the best of them are all of those things 39 00:03:53.800 --> 00:04:03.599 and more. And God trusted his heart to you, He brought you to 40 00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:09.080 him and him to you, and trusted both of you with each other's lives. 41 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:13.280 And as far as getting upset, and there are so many emotions when 42 00:04:13.319 --> 00:04:17.839 somebody is sick, and it is about the mechanical and the most boring basic 43 00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:23.439 things of having to feed or go back and forth when somebody can't. That's 44 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:28.240 the basic fatigue, lack of sleep, those are just the basic mechanics. 45 00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:33.800 And then deep down it's also the sadness that shows up as anger. That 46 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:38.480 what that means is, you know, we're not who we used to be, 47 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:41.639 or I can't experience you in the same way as we used to, 48 00:04:42.079 --> 00:04:46.959 or you know I miss these things. It comes out in many different ways. 49 00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:50.800 But what you said is profound. You said he was like a magnet. 50 00:04:50.920 --> 00:04:59.319 That's the way relationships should be, not in a compulsive way, but 51 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:08.040 dependent way, where it's just the mere presence of them has power. Just 52 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:10.519 them being in the other room, even if you're not talking, just the 53 00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:15.839 being around and feeling the energy of somebody in your life is powerful. It's 54 00:05:15.879 --> 00:05:24.040 beautiful. That's exactly That's exactly how it was. And he had a little 55 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:27.959 room that he liked to be in with the TV and sports and movies and 56 00:05:28.199 --> 00:05:32.279 reading the paper. And he was always always could make me laugh or smile. 57 00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:41.000 And he was so witty and so kind, and I would always peek 58 00:05:41.079 --> 00:05:44.439 in on him. He had a door that was used to be an old 59 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:49.279 door, like in the old fashioned I forget what you call him telephone booths, 60 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:54.680 Oh, yes, last panels. So even when the door was closed, 61 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:00.360 if I had to go into the other bathroom or into wheeling had in 62 00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:03.639 the bathroom, I would always cross by that door. I always could see 63 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:10.279 him sleeping or watching TV or reading. And it always, I don't know, 64 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:15.720 it always gave me a sense of I don't know how to describe it, 65 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:25.199 like wonderment or something, just how he could be so calm and generous 66 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:30.639 with his time and energy and storytelling you. Oh, he was a wonderful 67 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:36.439 storyteller and oh, thank you for letting me talk about it, make so 68 00:06:36.519 --> 00:06:42.000 much better. Of course, you know, there's some things that I would 69 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:46.519 love for you to take with you today, and one of them is to 70 00:06:47.399 --> 00:06:53.519 maybe journal the stories as best as you can, to write them down in 71 00:06:53.560 --> 00:06:57.959 a book, and the way it was brought to you, and the understanding 72 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:01.800 of those things because you're kind of the curator. I tell people this a 73 00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:06.680 lot that you've got to understand. When you're the one that outlives someone, 74 00:07:08.199 --> 00:07:12.720 you end up being the curator of their jokes, of their thoughts, of 75 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:15.199 their ideas, and if you put them down on paper, it's a good 76 00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:20.040 thing they live. There there's something you can look at and see that it's 77 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:29.680 tangible and reread and it helps you categorize some of these emotions and memories and 78 00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:32.639 in a loving and fun way. And it's like, you know, the 79 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:38.040 book of your husband and certain things like that. Secondly, how old were 80 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:45.160 you when you met Oh? I think just under forty maybe well when we 81 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:48.879 first met, oh, probably in by thirties. Okay, So now imagine 82 00:07:48.920 --> 00:07:55.959 all the life you lived prior to meeting him. Yes, that life is 83 00:07:56.040 --> 00:08:01.360 what attracted him to you. Now of course, beauty and the way you 84 00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:07.160 moved, and your eyes and your smile and all these things are there. 85 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:13.160 But that knowledge, the things that you learned, the way you listened, 86 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:18.959 the stories you told, all of that is what made him love you. 87 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:28.519 And your job now is to continue those things, continue learning, continue laughing, 88 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:35.279 continue living in a way that honors your relationship, honors the time that 89 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:41.639 he took with you, honors the time that you took with him, and 90 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:46.320 that honors God and the time that you had together in him putting you two 91 00:08:46.360 --> 00:08:54.399 together, and to take those things and to appreciate them by living still. 92 00:08:56.080 --> 00:09:01.279 He was your everything in the way that you focused on each other, but 93 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:07.840 he's not your everything in reality. You came in to that relationship with everything, 94 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:15.600 and you leave that relationship with everything, including the beautiful memories of being 95 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:20.240 with him and what you both gave to each other. So, Joyce, 96 00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:24.240 I want you to go and peace, my dear, on this Christmas Eve, 97 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:28.200 and I want you to think happy thoughts, and I want you to 98 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:33.519 write down the thoughts of holidays, pasts, of stories past, and of 99 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.919 things that Joyce wants to do. What is Joyce going to do now? 100 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.360 What does this remainder of your life look like, how are you going to 101 00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:48.519 honor that relationship by continuing to live? Which is the best thing to do 102 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:56.639 when someone passes is to continue to honor them by living. Allison, Welcome 103 00:09:56.679 --> 00:10:01.879 to the Jesus Christ Show. Good morning and Happy Christmas. Well, happy 104 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:09.080 Christmas to you. How can I help you? So, my wonderful, 105 00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:16.320 beautiful six year old who's extremely intelligent and well spoken and reads well and understands 106 00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:22.159 at a greater level that most think, rafiss to want to go with me 107 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:33.080 today to Christmas Eve service to celebrate your birth? Well not uncommon, So 108 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:43.960 as a parent, what's your initial gut reaction? I'm a little frustrated because 109 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:50.080 this young man is blessed beyond means. His mommy and his daddy is a 110 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:56.600 chef who just lost his job because of the twenty dollars an hour increase. 111 00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:01.240 His mommy is a housekeeper that works when he's at school so that she's available 112 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:07.440 to him all day. And he is never without, he has never been 113 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:16.559 without. And I just there's just something about this that is really really bugging 114 00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:20.519 me. Jesus. Well, one, I wouldn't force it. It's much 115 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:26.559 easier when you start early, and I will tell you that just as a 116 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:33.799 point of comfort, not to take from your personal story. But my producer, 117 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:39.320 Neil Savadra has a seven year old and goes through the same thing. 118 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:46.879 It's not just you. It is complicated. Kids are very smart. As 119 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:50.279 a matter of fact, there are studies that show that kids think on a 120 00:11:50.320 --> 00:12:00.240 genius level, and that basically people parents' schools kind of ungeniusfy them because as 121 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:05.440 trying to put people in a box and teach them about different things rather than 122 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:13.000 understanding and reasoning. But kids are very good problem solvers. Kids have a 123 00:12:13.039 --> 00:12:16.440 great intellect, They're thirsty, and they're taking it all in the concept of 124 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:22.000 God, the concept of faith, and the concept of these things are very 125 00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:31.240 difficult because everything is provided for them. So imagine this with all those great 126 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:37.159 blessings and all those things that you described, that your child has the brain 127 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:43.600 of a six year old. Now you take Adam and Eve, you put 128 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:48.240 them in perfection, in paradise, in the presence of God, and they 129 00:12:48.240 --> 00:12:54.279 still don't get it. So don't expect the a six year old to get 130 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:58.639 it all. I would start maybe with stories. There is a Bible that 131 00:12:58.679 --> 00:13:03.159 I referred to on this show, and I recommend called the Picture Bible. 132 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.879 And yeah, so that's a great start, especially when you go through the 133 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:16.120 holidays. You can read from that. There are cartoons that can be helpful 134 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:20.960 about the basics of the of the story of what's going on. Nativities in 135 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:24.000 the house can be helpful. Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt you, 136 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:26.320 but I will make you laugh. Literally, when I was explaining to him 137 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:33.039 why we got to go to Christmas church, he ran and grabbed his little 138 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:37.600 book of the Charlie Brown Christmas and he read me the passage that line that's 139 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:41.000 read him. He's like, I understand Christmas, Mommy, I don't need 140 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:43.919 to go to church. Okay, well, see that's a really wonderful thing. 141 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:48.960 And by the way, I'll let the other part slide. But when 142 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:54.200 it comes to understanding, that's the first part. That's first part of everything. 143 00:13:54.879 --> 00:14:01.159 You understand what it is first, and then you understand what that means, 144 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:05.480 what that knowledge means, and then you apply it. A six year 145 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.440 old is not going to apply it. As a matter of fact, a 146 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:11.120 six year old is not at the point of understanding. It's a matter some 147 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:16.759 theologians believe that Heaven forbid, if he passed today, he's not accountable for 148 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:20.960 what he doesn't know because he's six. Some people say it's ten, some 149 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:26.519 people say it's twelve. All of these things the reality, Alison, all 150 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:31.919 you can be is an example. If he doesn't understand church or doesn't want 151 00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:37.240 to participate, that's a bigger issue of trying to explain the importance of getting 152 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:43.840 together with other people. And there'll be other kids and they'll be opportunities to 153 00:14:43.399 --> 00:14:50.840 learn some things and ask questions, but it is it's complicated, and unless 154 00:14:50.840 --> 00:14:56.159 they're going to church day one and it's just part of the family, it's 155 00:14:56.200 --> 00:15:05.120 more difficult to introduce it to them later. And having that structure is important, 156 00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:09.960 but it's not always easy, especially in today's world. But the fact 157 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:11.279 that a kid doesn't want to go to church, it's not the end of 158 00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:16.720 the world. The key is to understand first, because his communion, his 159 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:22.519 connection is with you, your family. That's where he's getting his coin and 160 00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:28.200 thee at right now. That communion, that connection later it will come from 161 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:31.919 the church body, and you'll have to weave that in the curiosity. The 162 00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:45.039 curiosity starts now in understanding it's Christmas Eve, Merry Christmas to you. I 163 00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:48.720 know that there's a lot going on in the world, but celebrations and festivals 164 00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:58.519 and feasts and these things can be important to remind you what life is and 165 00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:07.240 why it's worth fighting for, why it's worth celebrating, and in this particular 166 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:15.639 case, to give thanks towards the birth of a savior that could bring salvation 167 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:22.159 to those that believe and have faith. Now, not everybody will be in 168 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:32.600 a state of joy, but this is still a time of gathering and connecting. 169 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:37.200 Eight hundred five to zero one five three four is the number if you 170 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:42.240 have a theology question or life situation question anywhere in the US of a eight 171 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:51.240 hundred five to zero one five three four. Joanna, Welcome to the Jesus 172 00:16:51.320 --> 00:17:02.360 Christ Show. Hi Jesus, Yeah, thank you for and and your resurrection 173 00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:07.640 of course. And I just, you know, like a lot of moms, 174 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:11.759 I'm sure and grandmother's I just you know, I'm getting I'm seeing all 175 00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:19.400 the packages I've wrapped and I'm still making some food. And I feel like 176 00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:26.799 with my kids, my daughter, I'm just tolerated. It's not like I'm 177 00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:33.400 even wanted there. And I don't want to be like, you know, 178 00:17:33.559 --> 00:17:37.319 it's just hurtful because I know I'm going to go there, and it's just 179 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:42.160 like they're doing an obligation. And my son probably won't even say a word 180 00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:51.079 to me, and my daughter just tolerates. And this attitude has influenced I 181 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:56.279 feel like my grandkids a bit not I mean, they just don't see that 182 00:17:56.680 --> 00:18:03.759 included. I live like two miles from my daughter, for example, and 183 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:10.400 here's an example. So you know, her and her husband are making Tomlly's. 184 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:14.599 Well you know, she's Hispanic, he's not. And it's like a 185 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:18.200 you know, tradition in my faily for years, I am not included. 186 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.960 I'm not asked to come, I'm not asked for any you know, and 187 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:26.440 it's this is the first time they've done it. And my daughter said, 188 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:30.440 oh yeah, well we've got to Tomali's. You know, it's too much 189 00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:32.680 with a lot of people. But then she let me know that she had 190 00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:37.240 invited Mark my granddaughters, and it's hurtful. I just don't I know, 191 00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:44.000 there's a lot of things in the past, but I've tried to you know, 192 00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:51.559 well we her dad and I got a divorce, and her anger towards 193 00:18:51.559 --> 00:18:55.759 me, it just doesn't stop. It just doesn't matter for the sake of 194 00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:00.400 you know, time, we're obviously limited, and I want to ask you 195 00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:04.119 a couple questions, Joanna. First of all, is dad still in the 196 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:11.160 picture anywhere? Yeah? My ex husband he lives two blocks for me, 197 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:15.119 and he's not We're neither one of us are married, although he has been 198 00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:19.279 married two other times after me. Oh great, he's not married. So 199 00:19:19.799 --> 00:19:25.519 does he have a relationship with the kids and the grandchildren? Oh? Yeah, 200 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:34.119 they adore him. Okay, So did you activate the divorce? I 201 00:19:34.279 --> 00:19:38.640 left? Yeah? I left? Yeah, I left. Okay. So 202 00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:42.160 in your words, and I know this can be hard to be objective, 203 00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:49.640 but to look outside of the situation, why do you think they have a 204 00:19:49.680 --> 00:20:00.920 problem with you? Well, I'm I guess I do have strong opinions, 205 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:07.240 but I don't scare them. And then when I do, when I get 206 00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:11.839 abused, what I feel like I've been used too much? Then it comes 207 00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:18.359 out in a way that's not good. Okay, So you weaponize your responses 208 00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:26.880 too, Well, yeah it has been, but well, well after years, 209 00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:29.640 you know, it takes a while. I mean, it's just so 210 00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:33.039 much abuse. Like we were, I was babysitting constantly, and you know, 211 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:38.079 I'm seventy at least I was sixty five at the time and just totally 212 00:20:38.119 --> 00:20:42.880 just dropping them off and not concern And then when they're relatives, when his 213 00:20:44.359 --> 00:20:47.920 family would come over from out of state, they would be taking him to 214 00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:51.039 dinner, taking going to the kids of the zoo. But my hex cousin 215 00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:55.480 and I were simply the drop off people. And after a while, Yeah, 216 00:20:55.559 --> 00:21:00.000 it got to feel like geez, you know, so your ex husband 217 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:03.119 was doing the same thing, doing something similar, picking up, dropping off. 218 00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:07.079 Did he have the same problems with it that you did. No, 219 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:11.000 he did it, he did it. No, he doesn't. He doesn't 220 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.240 that ever at all. You know. Well, then can I just say 221 00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:18.759 one thing, Jesus, this is just so it's so okay, So just 222 00:21:18.920 --> 00:21:22.400 real quick, Like a month ago, October twenty fourth, my sister, 223 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:27.200 my oldest sister, this ady called me her kids embezzled her entire account, 224 00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:32.240 which was over one million dollars, and quick claimed her home. She called 225 00:21:32.279 --> 00:21:34.359 me from out of state. Yeah, she called me from out of state. 226 00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:37.559 She's not even my closest sister, but you know, she's my sister. 227 00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:41.920 So I said, I'm coming out there. I'll fly out there, 228 00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:47.400 and I brought my ex husband. He's pretty mild mannered and she's you know, 229 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:52.440 he's despite the fact we've in drawers whatever fifty years, we're still close 230 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:55.599 in the family, and he felt she felt like she needed we needed some 231 00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:59.839 support. So I went over that when we got there, and in this 232 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.599 rushed to save my sister because he the people that in Bezels are sitting there 233 00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:07.799 in her home boasting that they have her house now. So we get her 234 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:14.359 car. We started reading and my ex husband ended up having this episode where 235 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:18.240 he was like lost his mind, and I think later it was maybe having 236 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.000 to do with the hell high altitude from where we were living, and I 237 00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:26.920 had to spend time in the emergency room. They wanted to do all this 238 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:30.880 stuff. I get my sister home back to California and he had some tests. 239 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:36.200 It didn't show anything, and my daughter was very angry that I didn't 240 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:41.400 stay there. I cannot stay. I'm in California. Your dad seems okay 241 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.000 now he found herself out, Joanna. She won't speak to me now, 242 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:49.200 okay. Well, we're up against the clock, and that's something. There's 243 00:22:49.240 --> 00:22:53.000 something no. But I just want to say this, my dear, because 244 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:59.440 I can hear the frustration. I can't pull all the people in your daughters 245 00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:04.119 you're at I only have you the work. Sounds like it's your work that 246 00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:08.119 needs to be done. Don't worry about them, And that's going to take 247 00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:14.720 You're going to have to face it and say to make this better. You 248 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:19.200 know you're going to want to hear exactly what their problem is, your family, 249 00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:26.640 your daughters, because it it seems, I mean, even you giving 250 00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:33.559 me specific dates October twenty fourth or these, that you keep things differently, 251 00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:37.559 you hold them differently in your heart, and you express them differently, and 252 00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:41.799 for what other whatever reason, that makes it difficult for people to enjoy your 253 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:47.559 presence, and then you don't enjoy it. And I don't think you deserve 254 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:49.240 to be in that situation, and I don't think they deserve to be in 255 00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:53.119 that situation. But the key is with you for your life, because you're 256 00:23:53.160 --> 00:23:56.839 the one that's bold and brave enough to call in and ask the question. 257 00:23:57.400 --> 00:24:02.200 I'm giving you the answer, and that is you need to do some work 258 00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:07.400 on yourself. But first of all, you need to have some very tough 259 00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:14.440 either letter exchanges or sit downs with your daughter and say, what is it 260 00:24:14.519 --> 00:24:18.279 about me that bothers you? I'm giving you don't argue with them. Don't 261 00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:22.839 any of that. You just take it, go home with it and see 262 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:26.480 what is real and what you feel you need to work on, because this 263 00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:36.000 is to better you, not better them. You know, we come together 264 00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:41.240 on Sundays. This show has been on for over two decades. I know, 265 00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:47.559 right, kind of nutty, isn't it. It's been syndicated for over 266 00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:56.279 a decade, a meaning that it airs on some eighty stations or so across 267 00:24:56.319 --> 00:25:03.480 the country. And years and the cycles go by, and inevitably we come 268 00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:14.359 across at least two major holidays, Christmas and Easter, and the importance of 269 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:19.519 these holidays to the believer, to the Christian, one is the birth of 270 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:29.400 hope and one is the fulfillment of hope. The birth of hope obviously, 271 00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:45.000 is celebrated on Christmas, and the completion the actualizing of that hope is on 272 00:25:45.160 --> 00:25:53.000 Easter, the death on the Cross and the resurrection. If nothing else, 273 00:25:53.319 --> 00:26:02.680 in the pain, in the loss, and a lot of loss still in 274 00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:10.480 calls, we can't get to whether it's Dennis's sweet dog Anne and her friend 275 00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:17.200 that she's trying to help, whatever it might be, contemplation of the afterlife 276 00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:26.400 from John, whatever it might be going through your head today on Christmas, 277 00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:34.839 whatever it is, try to focus on the hope of the birth, the 278 00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:41.160 newness of the birth, the faith that surrounded the birth, not only of 279 00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:48.599 Mary, the faith of Joseph, the faith of the magi to traverse to 280 00:26:48.759 --> 00:27:02.440 get to see the baby King. Focus on that hope. With every death 281 00:27:02.480 --> 00:27:07.240 there is newness, with the end of something is the beginning of something else. 282 00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:15.759 And to stare as much pain as it has involved in the loss of 283 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:26.599 something or someone, and that pain is real and should be experienced. However, 284 00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:33.160 in addition to that comes the reality of life, of more trials and 285 00:27:33.240 --> 00:27:44.680 understanding, of more blessings, of more curiosity and fulfillment of knowledge, of 286 00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:52.839 passing torches on to younger and newer generations. And even in all the pain 287 00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:59.720 and confusion in the world, if just within this season you can take the 288 00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:07.400 time and lean your faith on a birth and the newness of that birth, 289 00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:18.039 then maybe that and wanting to serve others and having a servant's heart will give 290 00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:25.359 you a perspective and insight that will go beyond your circumstances or situation and guide 291 00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:33.559 you into an understanding that goes beyond this world into the next. Merry Christmas 292 00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:45.279 and remember these simple words, I am with you Always. KFI AM six on demand