Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast by work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career, and
being a mom, how to get through a week without crying. Welcome to
Buns and Banter. We're glad you're here. Oh m, you came with
your notes again. I'm so impressed. I love it. I love the
you have physical paper notes. Well, So backstory on this first thing.
Lauren and I both work at iHeartMedia. We're both morning show hosts. Says
that every time in our little like intro or whatever. So we have a
lot of bosses and like the podcast. It's different than like our on air
shifts and like our morning shows and stuff. Oh yes, but our boss
has been asking about the podcast, which freaked me out quite frequently lately,
which I'm like, are we in trouble? I guess first thought, But
I actually I think it's a good thing, and I think he really he
wants to help us sort of like figure out what our niches, and you
know, when you've positioned a lot of radio stations and you know, sort
of done radio marketing and broadcasting for thirty plus years, it's helpful to like
hear that kind of bus out. And he listened to an episode and we
don't know which one. I don't know which one, and he was like,
well, I'm not the target? Why am I? Which I thought
was was a very PC way. I did ask him point blank. I
was like, did we scare you? And he was like, no,
no, I just it's probably not a podcast I would seek out as a
sixty five year old man. And I was like, okay, well,
you know that's not really I mean, I'm not saying that we don't have
sixty five year old man to our sixty five year old men, because I
know that we do, but yeah, like not the so so we kind
of talked for a little while and we were kind of talking about what we
want the podcast to be, and you and I keep going back to this
lifestyle from different life spaces, yes, which I really think hits the nail
on the head conversations we can't have on the air exactly. And that was
his takeaway. He was like, you guys are really talking about stuff that
you can't talk about on the air. So yeah, using language we cannot
use on the air, absolutely not. But the FCC don't give a shit
about podcasts. So here we are. That's another T shirt. That's another
T shirt. So I've got some burning questions, oh my god, that
we definitely would not be able to answer on our respective morning shows, but
we're doing it on bunds of banter today. I did not know this,
by the way. Yeah, this is a this wuttle surprise. I'm comfortably
close. So this is just like I've got I've I've got a few of
these. Okay, we'll see. Let's just see how it goes. I
love it, answer honestly and we can. Do you want to do like
one two three we both answer at the same time, or do you want
me to read them and then you answer and let's try the one two three?
I love the chaos, okay. Most likely to sleep with a friend's
ex you me for sure. I don't say that badly, it's just I
would make sure it was okay. I just think people are very drawn to
you and you can't help who it is. I obviously like I wouldn't do
anything shady, but you know, we all have needs. I'm a very
loyal Libra friend. Yes, like I will die defending my friends, but
like, if you're okay with it, and these are I'm just saying.
I'm just saying. Anyways, who is most likely to falsely use a disabled
parking space? You? I? Oh, I don't know. Maybe I
can't imagine you doing that at all. I can't. I did it when
I was pregnant ones, That's why. And I feel really bad, but
not because not falsely, Like I do think that pregnant women should have a
spot closer to the door. I felt bad though, because they did.
I just missed the signage. It was literally like a handicapped spot and an
expectant mother spot. But this was third trimester. Do you remember my ankles?
I could barely walk. And that's the only reason why I say that.
That's the only reason they don't come for me. I really I never
use those I know. These are these are spicy. These are spicy questions.
Okay. Most likely to have a crush on a friend's parent you me?
Obviously, I know. I was reading some of these before and I
was like, this is gonna be easy. This is so fun. Who's
most likely to commit murder me? I would say such a short fuse.
I'm an emotional aries you, and you watch all of those crime shows,
so I feel like i'd get away with it. You're like, yeah,
you feel very confident that you'd be like, this is fine. I'd tell
you about it though. Yeah, i'd help loyal, But in terms of
legally speaking, I've never met her a day in my life. So okay.
Who has the worst music taste? I wouldn't say worst. I would
just say our music. Our tastes and music are different, super different.
I probably have a very eclectic taste that sometimes people don't love. I do
too, but like in a different way. I like oldies, you do,
but we like different oldies. Yeah, Like you are all the Debbie
Harry yeah, and Whitney Houston yeah yeah right, and my Powerhouse women,
especially Selene Heart. Oh, Selene is the songbird of our generation. I
could spend a whole episode. I could maybe sing to Selene, Oh my
god. I know, okay, I know, but like you want to
turn on some CCR or like some queen see yeah, see, we both
have great taste in music. I feel like Selene, I feel like that's
kind of a pre wreck to work in our business, Like, yeah,
you have to be a fan of a lot of different kinds of music because
you don't really go into radio with a like, oh I want to work
in Top forty, or oh I want to work in country, or oh
I want to work in because working in all of it, you're doing it
all. You're doing it all, like you have to have you have to
be a fan of all of it. This one's funny. Who needs to
be medicated? Both? So if you know someone anyways who is not but
should be, who would be the worst in an emergency? She would As
long as no bones are sticking out of your body, she'd be fine.
All right. But remember when I ran out of gas? I was so
vulnerable. Yeah, actually that was like right after the podcast last week,
Lauren pulled out of the garage. I left like a twenty minutes after her.
Yep, and I get a phone call, Hey, I ran out
of gas in the Maserati thought I had one more trip. Not the Maserati's
fault. It definitely told me, girl, you're not getting anywhere, and
I ignored it. I do that too, though I will wait until my
car is past e. Yes so calm, and a murder so not calm
in an emergency. Here we go. This person shows traits of a serial
killer, but like the good traits, I'm charismatic, I'm trustworthy. The
good traits quote unquote got it organized? Who would wear a band T shirt
without knowing the band? Ali? I would, yep, I would you
such a cute band style. I don't believe in that you have to like
name three songs when you have a band T shirt on. Like, maybe
I just liked the T shirt. Okay, maybe I discovered Maybe someone discovers
Nirvana because they saw the T shirt at Target, and like then they become
obsessed with ner It's just like, let people have their T shirts. This
person does not wear socks with shoes. Both of us have done it,
but you currently not wearing you sucks And I feel so bad too, because
you told me two episodes ago, because you've gotten a bit more cash in
the studio now and you were like, take your shoes off. I said
I would never. I don't wear socks and shoes, and I'd probably kill
you. Laurna and I both have juicy toes. Too. That's a nice
visual for someone someone and you can Venmo's five dollars. Who do you think
has the highest body count? You me? I mean? I yeah,
yeah, not bad. I just I've been I've been not stuck, but
in a loving relationship with mine for so long. Yeah, and let me
tell you these past few years, they've been pretty dry. They've been pretty
dry, not for a lack of trying, right, just I will tell
you though, that two year hiatus I took from Chris. If we're talking
a media body count, it's a respectable number. Oh take some runs after
some events. Oh wow, that's I don't know if it's everyone was single.
I don't like to ship where I eat. I did that. I
did that for a while. You know that I did that for a while,
and I'll never do it again. Never. If I'm in a relationship
with someone and we like start a business together, that's different. Mind your
business. But I will never like be working someplace and be like, oh,
there's a new person in sales that I think I'm going to take a
run at. No, uh, don't do it. Uh shove me off
the fire escape. Oh I would this person would start a fight unprovoked.
I would. I was just about to say I would. Yeah, I
back you up. Sometimes you just like you're so confident, I know that
whatever happened was to you, not from you, And I'd be like,
I'm here to throw down, yeah, unprovoked, Like I'm not just gonna
walk out on the street and like throw a sucker punch, but like you
know, if I see an underdog or someone that needs help, oh,
I'm in it, baby, Yeah, I'm in it. That's your good
samaritan self. Yeah, most likely to get a sugar daddy. I mean
we both need one, right, So I am consider this our application.
I was like, I'm not ashamed to say it. Even Chris would probably
be like absolutely, babe, Yeah yeah. Who relies on their mom for
everything? I don't know. You talk to your mom a lot. I
talk to my advice every single day, but I don't like rely on her
to make like doctor appointments or oh yeah no, no, you know,
but like I'm super close with my mom, So I'll take that one.
Yeah. I think that's good. It's like the it's the therapy we can
afford, which is free. Yeah, sorry, mom, who would have
been lobotomized in the fifties, me same. I think we both would have
been very very group, right, Okay. Most likely to swear at a
child. Oh god, it's so hard not to you. I've gotten much
better, but oh man, we were we were looking at a house yesterday
and Will walks and he goes, whoa look at all this shit. I
was like, no, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. It's like funny
though when they swear, but like usually when it's in the proper context.
Yeah, it's like so sad. I know which I should not have children?
I really shouldn't. Who's most likely to prefer the kids pop version of
songs? No, neither, I can't neither I have kids, And I'm
like, absolutely not. And you know what this next one? I know
neither of us would do this unless we were specifically asked. Most likely to
show up wearing white to a wedding. Oh no, no, not even
like huh uh, Like sometimes when people show up at a wedding with like
a lighter dress with like a print on it. Yeah, I'm even like,
what are you doing? Yep? I won't even go Like, even
if you asked me to show up in white, I'd still go cream I
don't think I could do it. You'd go cream, I'd be it'd be
so weird to be like going in a white dress to a wedding. I
don't know. I don't think I could do it. I don't think any
of the light neutral colors are in play. If I was asked by the
bride to go in white, oh, I see, the closest i'd get
is cream. Oh. Otherwise, like I'm dark, most likely to commit
arson. I mean, it'd be a dual effort. Yeah, I was
gonna say either one of us, but the other one would would be there
to make sure that you stayed safe and that we got out of there correctly.
But again, we've never met. I don't know her. I don't
even know what fire is. Yep, you run north, I run south.
This person will die alone. It'll be me. Lauren has kids and
a husband. I have a dog who will probably eat my body if I
she would. I think, if you know maybe though. See, that's
one that is one of my biggest fears is that I'm gonna take a tumble
down my stairs when I'm alone, break my neck, and I'm dead.
In there for a couple of days and Fran is like sorry, I would
find you in within hours. There's a lot of meat on these bones,
delicious meat. Most likely to accidentally join a cult me, I feel like
it would be you. I am so gullible, so gullible. I think
I would love the feeling of group togetherness. I don't think you're gullible.
I think you just really love a group activity activity. If that's like taking
the stairs to Heaven, I'm in. If we're all going together, it's
so fun matching outfit. And will there be wine because then there's no like
you're never getting her back in. And last, but certainly not least most
likely to start a cult you Me, you're so again confident and charismatic,
and I think you'd have a fun cult. I don't think it'd be a
bad one. And it'd be like a good You'd be like a good cult.
It'd be very life affirming. Mm hmm. Yeah, it would be
very you know, like, uh, what's it self help? Self help?
If you've never seen that episode of Shit's Creek where they accidentally joined the
cult by going to the exercise class, that's how you'd get me. And
I'd be like, this is the greatest place with the greatest people. Yeah,
so they were Oh that was good, burning questions for buns and banter.
That was very on point too. I think we should do this like
every once in a while. Yes, I feel very good about my answers,
like I'm self aware of my issues, which is really important. Yeah,
I feel like we really know each other. Yeah, okay, so
can I make Can I do an update about my thumb? Yeah? Elliot
hurts so bad if you follow me on TikTok. I gave the story a
couple of days ago. We got to go on a trolley ride for the
Grand Rapids International Wine, Beer and Food Festival, so fun, which is
so delish, And I wanted to look cute, so I wore a body
suit and I just we need to talk about bodysuit battles for a minute.
You looked snatched. Well, I appreciate that. I think that was part
of the problem, because the reason I looked snatched is because I bought this
bodysuit that had compression built in because I needed some I need some help in
the mid section. It's okay, it's I like to feel good in what
I'm wearing. Yea. So if you're not aware of how a bodysuit works.
It's a onesie for grown ass people, and so most of the time
it snaps in the undercarriage area. Here's the messed up thing, though,
the snaps like on a infant onesie. Yeah, it's the same snaps.
Yes, they don't like they're not reinforced for an adult body, they're not
no upgraded, they're not designed for adult hands, and they're the same.
I just though's so wild to me that it's the same for an infant on
like a middle aged woman's garment. Yes I'm not calling you middle aged because
you're you're not, but I'm just saying that I will burn this place to
the ground. Arson. So we're at the end of this trolley ride.
We've had all these great like foods and bethies, and I finally have to
pee. I held on the whole trolley ride and we're talking nine am to
four pm. I did not break the seal. We get to our final
stop and we were going to do a wine tasting, so I wanted to
like give myself some room, empty out the tank, and I'm going to
resnap this child's onesie on myself, and the compression shot back so hard it
tore my thumbnail off. I was in the stall next to her when this
happened, and I was out like washing my hands or whatever, and I
heard her go, oh wow, So I was thinking the worst. I
thought that the I thought something had happened and you're undercarriage with the snaps yuh
huh. Yeah, I thought the body esuo, gotcha? It did?
It did? Then you didn't come out for a while, and I was
like, I don't know if I should leave and give her a minute,
or if I should stay in here in case she needs help. It hurt.
It is one of the most painful things I've had happened, top five
for sure, and I'm not trying to be dramatic. It tore the whole
like now the bed is exposed, which is super sensitive. It bled,
it bled the whole time we were sitting there. So I like drank my
wine while I was like covering my thumb because I didn't want anybody to know,
wh would you cut your thumb well. I couldn't get her to roma
cooch well enough and now like two days later, it is still throbbing.
I like, you can't touch things, you can't hit, but it is
the dumbest fashion injury I've ever had. And it's like that, like,
oh, how did you hurt yourself? I broke a nail. I know
it's not even good, but it's bad. Oh, it's so terrible.
And I did this on the air on one of my shows, and it
got this fascinating phone call. His name is Kevin and he's a former marine.
Ooh, and he's like, oh, let me tell you about this
wardrobe malfunction. And I've never been taken behind the ropes of our military before.
And he I couldn't recognize the word he used, but within the marine's
uniform. And if we have anybody that's in the service, or wasn't the
service listening, please correct me, you know, in the comments or whatever
if you can. But your like shirt tails are connected through your pants to
like your socks, so that everything is held in together. There was a
word for whatever this piece of garment is. Your shirt is connected to your
socks. Yeah, is the way he was describing it to me. And
he goes, so a lot of times this thing will snap up. Oh,
it's so tight it'll rip your leg hair out. Oh. And so
he's like a lot of times like you'll either see people with just waxed legs
so they don't have to deal with it because you're constantly like if you're in
your dress blues and things like that, that's when you have to wear it.
And I was like, Kevin, I would already thank you for your
service, but even more so now knowing that little tidbit of knowledge, doesn't
that sound awful? I think, Oh, it'll just He's like, so
I can't even commy times I've just had leg here ripped right out in the
middle of a ceremony. Oh my, I know, because then I felt
really bad hearing a marine talk about that when I'm like, my thum hurts.
Howie, that is fascinating? That interesting? Wow. I knew there
was a lot that went into military uniforms, and I'm like, wow,
do you ever watch like military TikTok? I don't you should? It sounds
fascinating because like the things that they like, they'll like they get ready with
me are super super fascinating because sometimes it's guys, sometimes it's girls, but
sometimes they just like are filming tiktoks, like on base or like certain places,
and I'm like, is this a national security issue, like, should
you guys right be doing this like filming from inside whatever you're in. I
don't even know, but but get ready with me military on TikTok. Yeah,
that's a good that's a good, good suggestion of never speaking of wardrobe.
Oh no, not malfunctions. But I'm just like a little bit nervous
about it. I'm going to a wedding this weekend with a guy that I
have been seeing, oh yeah for a little over a month. Now,
I'm just gonna hard launch it. Uh. And I got a dress and
you know, I love to rent a dress. You're so good at it
too, you find the best stuff. I rent clothes every single month.
Shout out to Newly. This is not sponsored, but it could be if
you want it to be, so you let me know. So I get
a dress from Newly and it looks so cute. And I love renting a
dress because people will post pictures of them in the dress so you can sort
of get a feel for, like what it looks like on an actual,
real human body. Thank you. And they tell you how much they weigh
and how tall they are and what shape their body is and if they have
sized up or sized down it's great. It's awesome. So the reviews were
like, you probably want to size down. I'm cutting it close right,
like, I'm leaving tomorrow. This stress arrived yesterday, so I don't really
have a lot of time to like make another move or pivot if this doesn't
work right. It fits. It's kind of a puffier sleeve cute, and
it's cut like so I posted a picture of this on my Facebook page.
You can kind of see it in the picture. But I texted my mom
and my sisters like, do you notice anything weird about this dress? The
sleeve connection to the actual dress is right in the middle of my nipple.
Oh, it's like not wide enough up top. Yeah, which also makes
it impossible to wear a bra. This is the first time I am meeting
this man's mother, Oh, my mother, cousin, cousin's new wife,
like his entire family. Hey, and I've got like, oh, look
at this now. While you're talking about it, my mom and my sisters
say that you can't tell, and I'm like, well, I'm not gonna
be able to wear a bra. And this dress is like it's a darker
floral, but it's really thin material, Okay, And I just I don't
want to be Hey, remember that girl you brought to the wedding who you
could see right through her dress to her nipples. Oh, I think that's
really cute. So this is exactly I love that pattern. This is exactly
what I thought you were describing, because I was just talking about this with
a friend of mine the other day. Yeah, this is a new style
where the like whatever you call them, the pleats, the lineage whatever.
I notice it on a lot of the National Morning shows too on TV really,
and they can sit really awkwardly and you almost have like a fembot look.
Yes, yes, and it's the style. I don't think you have
that here though, because I think with the pattern it's not. These are
like like some of the solid color ones I notice. I'm like, oh
my goodness, it is drawing all of your attention into and then your nipple
is there because you can't wear a bral Like you said, Yeah, this
is cute. I think this is really cute, and I don't notice that.
Is it girl cute though? Or is it like everyone will think it's
cute, Because that's the other thing that I'm worried about. I'm like asking
him all of these questions. I'm like, well, what's the dress code,
where's the wedding gonna be? And of course they never have any good
information. I'm like, well, what are you wearing. He's like,
well, I'm wearing a suit because I'm an usher in the wedding. I'm
like, oh, you're in the wedding. Oh that's brand new information,
right right, right, Okay, I'll just I'll figure it out. That
is, everybody will think it's cute, cute one hundred percent, and it's
like, you don't you don't wanna thank you. M That makes me feel
a little bit better, But you know, like you want to make like
a good first impression. So it's tough to try to find something where it's
like it's not only just like you're the guest to a wedding that you you're
someone's plus one. Yeah, So that's like a layer. Then the other
layer is like, I'm meeting your entire family for the first time, so
this is their first impression of me. I think it is actually a very
perfect choice because the other thing, like what I would be so nervous about,
which always happens with my dresses, is the low cutness. Yeah,
and I don't like, I'm not here to be rolling in, you know,
looking like a fresh mom that's still getting a lot of the milk up
top, Yeah, which is what tends to happen for me in dresses.
And I don't really mind something that's super low cut because I don't have huge
boobs. Yeah, so like I feel like I can get away with it,
like I've got small boob privilege. That is beautiful though. I think
that's a really really good choice for exactly the event you just described. Oh
I am, I think great a man, right, Like you literally can't
wear the wrong just don't wear jeans to the wedding, right exactly. But
there's also like a rehearsal dinner involved in this too, which of course we're
going up for because he's an usher in the wedding and like his cousin is
like his brother. So I'm like, oh, that's another outfit. I
gotta figure out. This is very awesome and intense at the same time.
It's awesome and intense, awesome and intents. What would you wear to a
rehearsal dinner where you don't know anybody and you don't know what the dress code
is? And I also don't know if it's like a rehearsal dinner, rehearsal
dinner, because that can mean so many things these days, or if it's
like a welcome dinner. We had a super casual reception rehearsal dinner, you
did, Yeah, like we did it one of my favorite restaurants in Grand
Ledge that's like a bar also and had this great back room, like woodsy,
huge fireplace like Redwoods of Northern Califield, very very chill. Like you
could have worn jeans, but I think a rehearsal dinner you get away with
like a really cute pantsuit pants suit. Yeah, I think so for a
rehearsal dinner. Oh geez, Okay, I was thinking jeans. Oh,
I think you could. But see, I don't know, because I don't
know the level of niceness. You're right, I don't know either. I
don't know either. And I was like, well, what are you gonna
wear? I asked him, and he was like, probably like just like
pants and a button up. And I'm like, but you can wear that
to literally any situation and look appropriate, whereas if I wear jeans to an
event that I'm not supposed to wear jeans to. Yeah, I'll stick out
like a sort thumb. Would you rather be overdressed than underdressed? No?
I would rather be the right amount. Yes, if I had to skew
one way or the other, I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed to any situation
anytime. But it's gonna probably be chilly. If everyone's wearing jeans and I
show up in a dress that's trying you hard. Yeah, I wouldn't go.
Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't go dress if you like,
do you know the venue this rehearsal dinner is at? No, my god,
this man of yours? What are we supposed to do? I know?
And like he's traveling this week, so I feel like I can't ask.
I'm like trying not to blow up his phone. But it's like an
out of town wedding too, so it's not like I can like I have
to bring oh a girl. I would have my back seat full of everything
I owned, roll up, peek in the window of whatever you're at,
look at someone, and then go and change in the bathroom. Is exactly
how I'd handle this, I know. And I'm like, well, where
are we staying? And he's like, oh, with my family and my
family's house. Like, oh much, of course we are. I know,
I knew that. I know. Yeah, this is zero to one
hundred zero. I don't hate it, zero to one hundred got it handled.
I have a badass, Yeah, I do. I think so you
do love the dress. I think whatever you figure out for Friday night will
be I think you could go, like even a dark Dunham that I know
you have. That's always classic. Okay, oh yeah, okay, yeah,
like black jeans aren't actually gens no god, no, no count that
is formal. Man. We're meant to be dunhim on Dunham like Canadian tuxedo
people. I love Dunham on Dennel. It's fabulous. You looked on the
trolley ride we were just talking about. You looked absolutely phenomenal. Dunna Dunham
Unham. Never again will I be wearing a body suit that snaps the way
that it did. I don't can't do worse than that for your rehearsal dinner.
We have sent people to the moon, but we cannot figure out how
to innovate the woman's bodysuit underlying problem there. Oh woman, I don't get
it. I know it's twenty twenty three. Give me something that snatches me
up in a healthy, non destructive way. It doesn't seem to be hard.
Yeah, Like I really thought, like, where's spanks? Where are
you guys? That's a good point because I feel like, for a second
there it was like innovation after innovation after innovation, and now like I haven't
heard anything in a minute. It's like we've hit a wall. I do.
I get that you've got your jeans, but I'm looking for something that
is a bit closer, closer to the bone, that's not a snap like
can we but like also a zipper feels dangerous? Yes, yeah, I'm
not really sure what velcrow? Oh if it can? If it? Because
the last thing I need is both of my onesie tails to pop out of
my jeans in a moment. Yeah. Ah, today's episode brought to you
by being so hard to be a woman. We really need like a shapewear
sponsor, please or something. I love it. I'm down. You'd help
the wedding, you'd help the rehearsal, you'd help the day to day.
Never again would I be walking around with a bloody thumb and a story that
doesn't match the gnarly injury, and that is going to take a while for
your nail to grow out and protect whatever is hanging out of there. God,
it's something right. I'm actually assuming some kind of infection will make its
way and and that's how I go. Of course, So I have signed
you over as part beneficiary of my very little work benefits here. You're welcome.
I will take wonderful care of Will and Sophia. Chris, I feel
like maybe he might, you know, have to. He's fine, figure
it out. Yeah, he's he's totally fine. Yep. Yeah, he'd
probably tell me. He told you so, bab that body suit was a
little tough. Yeah, we're good, but I would like your headphones, so