1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,560 Today's episode of Softcore History is brought to you by Texas Hill Country Provisions and 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:08,599 their new Chill Country Rosin Gummies. Go to Chill Country dot com slash softcore 3 00:00:08,599 --> 00:00:13,519 to get twenty percent off their rosin gummies, and go to THHC Provisions dot 4 00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:21,359 com slash Softcore for the same deal on their hats and apparel. Welcome to 5 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:28,440 Softcore History. What is up? Welcome back to Softcore History. I am 6 00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:32,799 your host for the week, Rob Fox. As always a little house cleaning 7 00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:36,560 at the top. Please leave a review on Apple. Leave five stars on 8 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,920 Spotify that super helps us move up the charts. The charts are bullshit. 9 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,960 They're not really about listens, They're about reviews. Even more importantly, give 10 00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:49,399 us your five dollars. Is that speaking Patreon dot com slash softcore History. 11 00:00:49,439 --> 00:00:54,159 I'm joined as always by Danni Jester and Jake Goldman's who's who's speaking right now? 12 00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:58,479 But yeah, Patreon you get two additional episodes every week and a giant 13 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:04,000 at this point back catalog. It's ever green content that is nowhere elsewhere. 14 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,280 You get it anywhere else, it's the only place. It's a lot of 15 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,959 history shows like this, plus game shows and other stuff like that. Anyway, 16 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,760 it is all evergreen contents. And if you've been listening to us for 17 00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:15,760 a while and you're not a part of patroon, what's your deal? I 18 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,599 know what's your problem? Goo Goo's five dollars. You listen to us every 19 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,599 week, the vibe session is over all, right, Yeah, and if 20 00:01:23,599 --> 00:01:27,000 you're new, just give us your five dollars. Trust five dollars a month. 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,920 We're small trust us, dude, small time. Just get us time. 22 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,680 Don't you want to say you supported us at the ground floor. By 23 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,040 the time we're big enough to desert you and treat you like garbage, we 24 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:42,879 will just like not even interact with you at our live shows. Do you 25 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,120 see that guy that's spit in my mouth? I give him five dollars forty 26 00:01:46,159 --> 00:01:51,120 months ago. We appreciate it to make us big enough to have meetups so 27 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:53,560 we can just blow you off. Yeah, we don't show up to the 28 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,799 meetups. We organize it. Yeah, and then you guys mingle amongst each 29 00:01:57,799 --> 00:02:00,920 other. That's all we want. That's all we want want a big time 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:05,840 yeah yeah. Uh, just feel important today though for our long time listeners, 31 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:09,479 especially um, I don't know, we've got a very on brand episode. 32 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:15,280 I suppose on brand for us or on brand for you both, that's 33 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,960 very part of it. Did a city about Wieners, did a fucking you 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:23,159 know POMPEII and all the dirty graffiti on brand for us Because we're wildly unprepared. 35 00:02:23,879 --> 00:02:28,199 Rob did all the research. That's the format. We just show the 36 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,159 format of the show in fact. Um. Yeah, so we're talking about 37 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:38,159 ancient Roman bon we're talking about ancient Roman sexuality. Oh, how they viewed 38 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:43,240 sexuality and sex acts and all that. Should I got a note tap about 39 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,800 that? What I'm just kidding? Oh wait, what do you mean a 40 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,240 note tap? You're just writing it now. I was going to do this 41 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,719 episode suck. Yeah, we do always wonder when will that day happen? 42 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,680 When will that we come when we show up? At least if it does 43 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:04,479 happen, it's it's better that the May show guy has it, because then 44 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,439 we'll have at least another day to do the Patreon So we all just got 45 00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:09,680 a show back up. There might be one that exists, Go find it 46 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:15,680 one he just did. Yeah, No, when are you talking about I'm 47 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,080 pretty sure we didn't do it. I don't think we did. Do I 48 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:21,680 think it's only been like a small discussion about the Barten it came up. 49 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,759 Yeah, yeah, okay, I did. I already put that out of 50 00:03:23,759 --> 00:03:25,759 my mind. See, the whole point of that was to get them to 51 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,800 go into the back catalog and try to listen. Still do that, yeah 52 00:03:29,879 --> 00:03:31,039 you can still do it. You never know. Um. So yeah, 53 00:03:31,039 --> 00:03:37,240 specifically, we're going to talk about some fun facts about the ways romans view 54 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,680 just like sexuality in general. And look, you literal, literal, whole 55 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:46,039 books could and have been written on this. So suffice it to say this 56 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:51,520 is not an exhaustive this softcore history again check it out. Dude that left 57 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:55,240 the review to go to the catacombs, you don't know what romans fuck it 58 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,840 is, Like, I've been to the catacombs. Yeah, here's the deal, 59 00:03:58,879 --> 00:04:01,680 man, it's gonna be lightly researched. Yeah. Um, if you're 60 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:06,159 still listening things, oh to Catacomb guy, Yeah, well he's he was 61 00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:11,479 a YouTube So yeah, if you're still watching. If Catacomb Bro is still 62 00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:15,000 watching, I want to know what algorithm we pop into from. I hope 63 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,079 he just gets like served a bunch of shitty history podcasts and he's like, 64 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:23,399 no, motherfucker did just get a one star review that said we suck and 65 00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:27,839 I'm not funny, oh sick, which I honestly I respect that. Ones 66 00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:31,040 and fives no in betweens, ones and fives. Can't believe you guys are 67 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,639 asking for ones. We're not asking for ones, but just have the balls 68 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,600 to do it right. If you don't like us, you don't like us. 69 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,040 It's a bold, bold call, guys. I don't know what to 70 00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:45,839 tell you. I don't want no goldilock review. Yeah, this one's just 71 00:04:46,079 --> 00:04:49,000 right three stars. Wouldn't it be five stars if it was just right? 72 00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:57,639 Now? It's too hot? Okay? Uh so? Yeah? Softcore history 73 00:04:57,959 --> 00:05:03,519 and an inexhaustive review of Roman sexuality. Um so today obviously like today, 74 00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:10,319 in human history, especially in the West, your sexuality is basically defined by, 75 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,959 you know, the starting point of whatever your sex is, and then 76 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,360 you know, whatever sex you like to fuck. Some people's entire personalities, 77 00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:20,720 a lot of people's entire personalities, I would say, um yeah, as 78 00:05:20,759 --> 00:05:29,120 as if it was filling a void, huh huh yeah, avoid of where 79 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,120 other personality traits should be. Yeah, filling other things too. Well, 80 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:38,800 that void is hopefully getting filled since there's there's a hole in the soul that 81 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:46,120 no soul dildo or penis or whatever can or fist can can fill up. 82 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,319 Soul fists sounds like a nineties band that's toured with like Pantera soul fisting is. 83 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:55,240 It's pretty good soul fist. I had to fun I had a really 84 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,519 good one the other day, but of a metal band, but I can't 85 00:05:57,519 --> 00:06:00,240 remember it now. So that Scrupedia ever so is Mexico. Someone just spray 86 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,800 painted stinky parts. It's like, that's that's a good metal band name. 87 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,959 Actually. Yeah, my favorite part in New Mexico is all the groups of 88 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,399 wild dogs. Yeah that was wild At least these are alive on like Oklahoma. 89 00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:15,040 Yeah, it's a step up. I know. When we went to 90 00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:23,079 Roswell, it was just like straight out of a nineties Disney cartoon, just 91 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:26,399 a homeward bound yeah, but they have nowhere to go, but they have 92 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,040 no homes. It's like nine different homeward bounds just walks together in eternal hell. 93 00:06:31,199 --> 00:06:36,279 The residents of Roswell just murking these dogs left and right, cars and 94 00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:40,800 funs and it's like that. I didn't watch the whole show, but I 95 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:45,160 did see the first episode of the Leftovers where that guy's just killing stray dogs 96 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,279 from all the disappeared people. Yeah, because they're like taking down deer and 97 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:50,720 shit or whatever. But yeah, everything starts out is like you know, 98 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:56,600 basically your sex and whatever you like. And then obviously from there we eventually 99 00:06:56,639 --> 00:07:00,199 get down to pig bottom. If you really want to just get into all 100 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:04,199 this stuff, yeah, but I want all their sexual terms. We'll get 101 00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:08,480 some Roman terms good. Well. But I was wondering, by the way, 102 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:14,399 just as a quick thought exercise, is there an antithesis to pig bottom? 103 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,040 Um Like ethereal top is what I came up with, just like a 104 00:07:18,079 --> 00:07:26,120 blissful always on like some always like extremely beautiful like Brad Meat Joe Black, 105 00:07:26,319 --> 00:07:29,680 like in the soul too, Like they're they're just pristine as a human. 106 00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:32,800 They're just like a ray of light. And they're like always clean, like 107 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,319 impossibly clean. It's Brad Pitt. Yeah, and they just and they fuck 108 00:07:36,399 --> 00:07:40,759 you like they're the top. It's Brad Pitt, So pig bottom and ethereal 109 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:45,879 top I guess, like, yeah, trying to think what a good name 110 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,839 for that is. It's not ethereal top okay loo Humper, I don't know. 111 00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:56,000 Golden Rod well, yeah, I don't know, all right, maybe 112 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:01,920 the real top is it? So the primary vision of sexuality in ancient Rome 113 00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:07,240 was not quote unquote gay or quote unquote straight or whatever, or any sort 114 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,759 of buy or anything beneath that or of offshoot of that or whatever. Um. 115 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:20,600 The primary dichotomy was tops and bottoms. Okay, you either fucked or 116 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,959 you got fucked. Didn't matter if you're man or woman. Well, or 117 00:08:26,199 --> 00:08:28,920 didn't matter if you were a man. If you we'll get into the woman 118 00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,720 part. But if you were a badass Roman dude, if you were a 119 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:37,759 good Roman male citizen, you topped. You only topped, You topped hard, 120 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,919 and you topped pretty much whenever the fuck you wanted to. Women can 121 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:45,320 top, not an ancient ladies can top two. Go home brushes, shoulders 122 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,120 off girls is tops two. No peggan girls is tops two. We'll get 123 00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:52,879 to that. We'll get into what they thought about that. But that's down 124 00:08:52,919 --> 00:08:58,720 the list, like like like you right there a footnote because this is history. 125 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,000 Oh yeah, it's history is of course. Yeah, we don't know 126 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,919 why. About four percent of our audience is female. Yeah, I mean, 127 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:07,240 we did a whole episode on ancient lesbians back in the day, a 128 00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:09,879 couple of like a year year and alfgo no male gaze in that list. 129 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:16,360 We've done at least half a dozen episodes on women. Yeah, one being 130 00:09:16,399 --> 00:09:18,759 Helen Keller, So it's pretty proportioned. We called her a fraud. We 131 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,600 did call her a uying fraudulent crisis actors Bobby Don next to me, and 132 00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:30,240 also responsible for some deaths on nine eleven. Yeah, at least one. 133 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:35,679 Um, and that's that's irrefutable. That's that's a fact. Uh So if 134 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:37,480 you were bad at if you were a good Roman citizen, a good upstanding 135 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:41,600 male romsis and you fucked, he didn't get fucked. Uh, and you 136 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,720 could top men or women, were boys or girls. Um, yeah, 137 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,720 let's not a kind of skip over that part. Well, you want to 138 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,639 go in depth on it, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about pedophiles, 139 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:56,879 let's talk about it. Well, they didn't really, I mean there 140 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:03,480 was so there was a limitation, Like if you were caught fucking a toddler, 141 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,360 bad things were going to happen to you, even if you owned that 142 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,159 toddler. I imagine we're talking about like once a hip puberty though it's fair 143 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,879 game. Maybe, Yeah, Like in that point yeah, yeah, yeah, 144 00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:18,399 but like if you're if you're fucking like a six year old or something 145 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,799 like that, you're gonna have problems from society. Person has had to at 146 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,679 least developed a little right, right, right, so that at least is 147 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:30,080 I guess as long as they make their first word out, they're a fair 148 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,759 game in ancient Rome. So one, do you know when baby's tucked? 149 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,039 Because I don't. I have no clue. Yeah, I think it's like 150 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,159 three. Yeah what yeah, Rob, your kids still can't really talk? 151 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,559 Yes? He literally can? He not really, he has full words and 152 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:50,759 strings words together. He hasn't you have thought that fucking kids didn't eat solid 153 00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:54,240 food until they were three. That's true, but there's no way, there's 154 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:58,000 no way he can put together a sentence. He pretty much can pretty much 155 00:10:58,039 --> 00:11:03,000 pretty much does not mean yes, I don't. I can't get it this. 156 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,960 I think he is like you like this is like me telling you how 157 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,879 to lift. It's like a slow developed child. Well, listen, you 158 00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:15,799 literally have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Dude. I've always said 159 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,799 we need to get you jacked, put you on all the h H. 160 00:11:18,039 --> 00:11:20,320 I don't know if you if you know this or not. But I too 161 00:11:20,399 --> 00:11:24,000 was once a baby, so I think I know a finger two. Yeah, 162 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,759 I've been a baby. Yeah, everyone's been a weight. I've been 163 00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:31,480 a baby. Hey man, they had just listen to twenty pounders of orange 164 00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:37,279 theory fitness. Twenty pounds barbells, probably dumbells barbells. Is that a weight? 165 00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:43,320 Yes? Did I lift it? Yes? Would you do curls us 166 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,480 from like a push up position, like like a row from a push up? 167 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,639 Yeah, that's that type of sh I liked orange theory, It was 168 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,960 all right? Um, so yeah, they they fucked kids um in Asian 169 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,159 Rome quite quite a bit, quite pretty much all the time, every day 170 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,759 for the entire existence of ancient Rome. Thousands of children were getting sucked. 171 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,679 But in a classy way. No, uh, I wouldn't say that, 172 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,720 And I don't even mean that now to be like, oh, I don't 173 00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:09,519 want to sound like well, I mean, I just mean like, no, 174 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,000 I know, it wasn't in a classy way, because it was usually 175 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,000 they were just raping their slaves. Yeah, there's no such thing as a 176 00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:24,120 classy way child. Yeah, no matter Rome, you can eat all the 177 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:30,720 meat probably pretty similar to just cutting off um, cutting off a piece of 178 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,759 slab a child. Yeah, so the limit was basically that you couldn't you 179 00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:37,679 couldn't fuck someone else's wife or wow, that's where they kind of drew the 180 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,080 line. Yeah, you couldn't and you couldn't fuck like a free Roman woman 181 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:48,399 didn't swing or man without consent um. Then it's just no. I mean 182 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,440 they did a little bit, I'm sure, but like you just you're not. 183 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,679 You can't look at it that way. You're looking at it. You're 184 00:12:54,720 --> 00:13:00,320 looking at it with your twenty first century Western Judeo Christian latins. It's just 185 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:05,000 not how they viewed it at all. So the correct lens, yes, 186 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:11,320 sure, one that literally everyone uses except them. Yeah, because this is 187 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,559 pre that you get what I'm saying, Like they look they didn't do They 188 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:20,000 didn't look at it that way I know of course. Um, so you 189 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,840 could go you could fuck someone else's well, you couldn't suck somebody else's wife, 190 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:28,840 and you couldn't fuck a free Roman woman citizen or male citizen without content, 191 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,200 Like you couldn't rape. Um, you out you couldn't rape. Is 192 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:37,159 funny in this sense because they were raping constantly. But it's like you weren't 193 00:13:37,159 --> 00:13:41,440 allowed to rape a person and then it's just a definition of who a person 194 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,120 is. Yeah, so this is not getting monetized on YouTube, like what's 195 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,000 history. It's real fucking history. I don't know, I don't know what 196 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000 you want to tell you. I'm just saying, fifteen minutes in, we've 197 00:13:50,039 --> 00:13:54,399 already talked about child fucking Ray. We're talking about history. It happened, 198 00:13:54,639 --> 00:13:58,679 Yeah I didn't. It's not like this isn't fan fit. Rob's not spinning 199 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,159 a yarn of like what do you think's happened in Rome right now? I 200 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,440 love his last couple episodes though, the one on the Patroon where he just 201 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,879 talks about I know, I've been going to Japanese war crimes. Yeah, 202 00:14:09,039 --> 00:14:11,960 and now he's talking about ancient Rome rape and it's like, man, this 203 00:14:11,039 --> 00:14:18,440 is a yeah, comedy show. Welcome to comedy show. So if you 204 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:24,440 were a young boy, uh yeah, So there was a if if you 205 00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:28,039 were a free Roman man, though, and you decided, you know, 206 00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:33,840 you wanted you've put so much dick in other people that you want to see 207 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:39,360 what that feels like. That's no bueno. You can't get fucked because that 208 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,080 made you a bad Roman citizen, a bad Roman male, and a little 209 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:48,279 bit. Is your Italian not good? Why you said no buyo? No 210 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,480 bueno? What is it? What's Italian for that? Dud? I bet? 211 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:58,600 It's also no boy, No, that sounds right. Just put italian. 212 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:05,360 Put a little Italian. Uh no benda for the beak in the ass 213 00:15:05,759 --> 00:15:07,480 um that made you a bitch. You could not be topped, all right, 214 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:13,440 you were. There was even a slang term for it um. Guius 215 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:18,039 Lucilius was a satirist, and he described any free born man who uh took 216 00:15:18,039 --> 00:15:26,759 a quote unquote passive role in sects as a skulltimidonnas skult timidonnas, which translates 217 00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:35,039 to uh asshole bestower behold yeah, the original beta. Yes, yes, 218 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,360 you're beta. You're beta, bitch. If you did this, you could 219 00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:41,159 only fuck. You could fuck, you couldn't be fucked, but you could 220 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,399 be a power bottom. No, there is no power bottom. Those two 221 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,639 turns as an oxymoron in ancient Rome. Not if you're throwing a bag. 222 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,799 You know, I guess if you you'd have to go to the plaza and 223 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,120 to the forum and just really really prove what a power bottom meant and gets 224 00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:58,840 the time machine. He's like, oh no, no, no, I'm 225 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,799 not doing anything you think I'm doing. He just goes back in time to 226 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:06,159 rooms. Like listen, guys, if they throw back, they're a top 227 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,799 two in a week. I mean, with this fucking brickhouse booty, I'm 228 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,360 breaking that. Roman soldiers dig off. I agree. Look, I've said 229 00:16:12,399 --> 00:16:18,960 on multiple shows it's alpha to bottom. Yeah, because you're not concerned. 230 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:25,240 Yeah, and the opinions of others. Sheep, a bottoming lion does not 231 00:16:25,279 --> 00:16:29,200 consider what is it? What is it? What is the opinions? Top 232 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:37,159 sheep, prude sheep, Uh, that's our next shirt, that's our next 233 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:41,759 shirt. Lie a male line bottoming and with sheep laughing at him, but 234 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,720 he's just like having a great time and doesn't care. Text It's like, 235 00:16:45,759 --> 00:16:52,320 I'm also a pig bottom, so the shame doesn't hurt. It actually helps. 236 00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:56,600 The most alpha man on earth is just this dirty pig bottom. Yeah, 237 00:16:57,159 --> 00:17:03,840 so anyway, just a little comes happier than a pig and shit. 238 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:08,160 Yeah literally. Uh. This really only went for men, by the way, 239 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:14,000 so women were expected to only be the passive role only bottom and girl 240 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:19,400 on girl Lesbian sax was looked down on because Romans thought, basically it was 241 00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:25,400 two passive participants. So it's two bottoms. Oh so it makes it worse. 242 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,640 Yeah, no, dominatrix. Nobody's got a dick. You know why 243 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:36,000 they'd beef with the Germans. What they beef with the Germans and the German 244 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:42,039 German culture dominatrix kind of more aggressive women those were these were Barbarian women. 245 00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:45,960 Well, so that's the kind that's kind of a thing though they didn't like 246 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:52,079 women were supposed to be both passive Roman women citizens were supposed to be both 247 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,480 passive participants and chased. Essentially, you only fuck your husband. Really, 248 00:17:56,519 --> 00:18:00,400 do you think this is? Uh, they took our jobs kind of tuition 249 00:18:00,599 --> 00:18:03,119 where it's like funny you say that. Yeah, let me get into that. 250 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,880 That is the next point. Okay, it is very much that they 251 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:14,599 took our job situation. Male writers did did assume, so they assumed it 252 00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:17,039 was passed because no one had a dick, essentially, but they did assume 253 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:22,640 that maybe a dildo was used, or a lesbian being more Mannish or whatever, 254 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,599 would have an exceptionally large clitteress that she could use for penetration, but 255 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:32,440 that the penetrator wouldn't be the only one experiencing pleasure, and if she did 256 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:37,400 use a dildo or her supersized clit to penetrate another woman. That was bad 257 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:45,559 because she was stealing the man's role and also was maybe getting so high on 258 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,880 on topping, which she never got to do, wasn't supposed to do that 259 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,240 she would go out and start fucking men and boys and be a threat to 260 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:57,319 the order of society all tracks. Yeah, no, I mean the society 261 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,960 is going to fall apart if that happens. Yeah, that's why Rome fell. 262 00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:07,079 We've always hated lesbians. It was we society. I mean even now, 263 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,119 dude, lesbians don't really get the same clout as gay man, as 264 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,400 gay man, or any any of the other letters. I feel like lesbians 265 00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:19,240 the bottom of the totem pole. Yeah, it's weird, it's the first 266 00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:25,039 letter, but they're lasting line, they are. It's rough. No, 267 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:29,960 I mean, I guess it's not like it's been kind to them throughout history. 268 00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:33,640 No. Yeah, it's not been terrible, right, No, it's 269 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,519 been pretty bad. It's been pretty often. Although I do think especially in 270 00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:42,799 like christian I would imagine in like once Christianity got a hold and you talk 271 00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:48,440 of like medieval Europe and on and on. Uh, it feels like they 272 00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:53,160 probably were more offended by two dudes hooking up. Yeah, two women is 273 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:59,240 nice. You always had that factor. No one was like nice, if 274 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:06,720 two dudes working, maybe you could maybe you could seduce some magistrate. Because 275 00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:11,000 throughout time, every guy just thinks he can convert any lesbian and it's like, 276 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:11,640 oh, well I get two of them now, that tracks. That 277 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,559 tracks, whereas with a gay dude, you're like, I'm not wasting pussy 278 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,759 on ye to throw them in the fire. Yes, yeah, that does 279 00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:22,440 track a little bit because men are stupidly man. That's been dogs, yeah, 280 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:27,799 throughout human history. So there were portrayals of women. Essentially, this 281 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:33,519 fear was portrayed in different art of women sodomizing boys, drinking and eating like 282 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:38,160 men, oh god, engaging in you know, physical regiments maybe like being 283 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,880 a gladiatrix or a soldier or something zena warrior princess basically, and that all 284 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:48,119 reflected the sort of cultural anxiety romans would have from time to time women getting 285 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,039 too independent? Is it so hard to say that? Yeah, just keep 286 00:20:52,039 --> 00:20:53,960 the ladies down, that's what they wanted to do. Do you ever have 287 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,720 like a beefy female crush growing up? It's an alpha female. Oh that 288 00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:03,880 you were into as a child, as a child, or as just a 289 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:10,799 team. I mean like alpha female, Buffy, I mean Sarah Michelle Geller. 290 00:21:11,079 --> 00:21:14,000 She hot, just hot. She wasn't really buff or alpha. I 291 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,519 mean she her name was Buffy. Dude, what are you talking about? 292 00:21:15,559 --> 00:21:22,200 She's buff as shit. Uh, I don't know. Maybe some of some 293 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,799 of those chicks from the US soccer team in ninety eight with Mia hamm Mihim's 294 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,440 good looking chick Miah Ham Yeah that was what ninety eight? Yeah, yeah, 295 00:21:30,759 --> 00:21:34,240 I was seven or I just respected the game. Yeah, you gotta 296 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,319 respect the game. Everyone loved that team. No, it wasn't ninety ninety 297 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,839 nine anything. It what good matter? Um So there are actually though, 298 00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:48,400 despite this uh lesbian stuff being um not so great in Rome, they didn't 299 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:53,319 really like it. Surviving mosaics of girl on girl action in where else? 300 00:21:53,400 --> 00:22:00,000 POMPEII, right, party City, Panama City of Vension realm the fucking greatest. 301 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:06,640 I honestly just I think that Pompey was too rad to continue existing. 302 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,799 City is not Panama City anymore. I know. Maybe God did it. 303 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,519 Maybe God made the volcano. God was like that was the real like sodom. 304 00:22:14,759 --> 00:22:17,359 Yeah, but in like the best way, you know what I mean, 305 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,440 Like it was just like this place is too rad, it's too cool 306 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:26,440 to exist if that pompeii Yeah, I mean fucking it seems like it in 307 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:32,799 a way. Um, but you were not, by the way, let 308 00:22:32,839 --> 00:22:40,799 off the hook for being the passive participant as a male, even if it 309 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:45,480 was not consensual. Oh, that just means you lost sex and you're a 310 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,079 sword of loser. Yeah, it means you're a bitch. You're double bitch 311 00:22:48,079 --> 00:22:51,640 because that guy beat you up and then fucked you. Was it? You 312 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,200 win sex? Yeah, you win sex with the man as straight as it 313 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,920 gets. Uh Yeah, so that didn't. That didn't. That was not 314 00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:02,640 like you just basically had to keep your asshole clean at all times. It 315 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,079 doesn't matter how the dick gets in there, consensual, non consensual. If 316 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,559 it gets in there, you are a bitch and you're not a proper Roman 317 00:23:08,599 --> 00:23:15,319 male today, too many people, it does. Think about how many fucking 318 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,839 gay rabs probably go on reported I mean, I assume a fucking lot. 319 00:23:21,039 --> 00:23:26,559 Yes, yeah, yeah, I would imagine, But that doesn't really they 320 00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:30,319 don't view that though the way Romans did. Where Romans were like, that's 321 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:36,519 your fault and you suck that guy who got you. He's a pretty good 322 00:23:36,599 --> 00:23:41,279 Roman. He got you, so you got God. Yeah, that's the 323 00:23:41,559 --> 00:23:45,960 difference. That is so crazy that it's like, dude, why'd you let 324 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,519 that happen? Right? Literally? So there was what there was actually one 325 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:56,440 Roman emperor, uh named Vitilius who was allegedly quote unquote used like a girl 326 00:23:56,599 --> 00:24:00,480 when he was younger by then emperor Tiberius. Oh use like Tom Holland, 327 00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:04,839 Yes, uh, ironically the historian who I'm quoting him this his name Tom 328 00:24:04,839 --> 00:24:11,440 Holland, Is it really? Yeah? No way, what are the odds? 329 00:24:11,519 --> 00:24:17,839 Boys? Sometimes the stars aligne. Yeah. So people gave Vitilius shit 330 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:22,000 for this his whole life. His nickname was actually Sphincter. Oh no, 331 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:27,880 that's a tom scene is a bad nickname. That might be the worst nickname 332 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:32,000 in history. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a worse one and I 333 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:37,119 can't. Sphincter. Sphincter was the emperor's nickname. It's not even like and 334 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,119 this was all on rumors, by the way. Now maybe it happened, 335 00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:44,640 I don't know, But because he was young when he was with Tiberius, 336 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,920 like on the like he was part of his I don't know court or something. 337 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:55,240 Um. But yeah, it's not even like RHYMI or like nameI or 338 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,680 sing song. You know, it's not like manina or like you know, 339 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,759 there's no pun in it, sink sphincter, you are what we use. 340 00:25:03,559 --> 00:25:08,559 So it wasn't It wasn't super fun for him. But again, it did 341 00:25:08,599 --> 00:25:11,440 not matter if you were having sex as a man, if you were having 342 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,119 sex with men or women, just as it just you had to be the 343 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:19,519 top. That was it. Uh. Even still, people had preferences, 344 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,480 arguably even quote unquote modern preferences, um for some of them. The emperor 345 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:32,359 Claudius was actually, according to historians of the era, um known to only 346 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,400 have sex with women. Huh. Interesting, it's crazy that there were people 347 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,359 writing about this. Oh, there is a lot of history on romans back. 348 00:25:41,319 --> 00:25:45,759 Yeah. Woman, I did another episode, one of our female episodes 349 00:25:45,799 --> 00:25:49,759 on on history's most famous slut or most slut shamed woman, And she wasn't. 350 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,359 I know, she wasn't. She wasn't even I just said she was. 351 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,039 But I do like that the guy had to like set the record straight, 352 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,720 like, no, dude on like women, what Claudius write that down. 353 00:26:02,039 --> 00:26:03,920 No he didn't. He didn't so he was he didn't set the record 354 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,279 straight. So essentially they wrote it down because it was like peculiar. It's 355 00:26:08,319 --> 00:26:11,799 like, okay, listen, man, we know oh, because he wasn't 356 00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:15,839 topping on dudes. It was like, the way the historian put it, 357 00:26:15,839 --> 00:26:18,160 would be like only being into blonds, yeah, or only being into like 358 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:26,119 bbwa. Yeah, Jeck's got a type. It's women like he's real particular 359 00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:32,480 what a queer. That's odd, man, that's fucking weirdo. Man. 360 00:26:32,599 --> 00:26:34,839 The Roman emperor Galba, on the other hand, only slept with dudes, 361 00:26:36,559 --> 00:26:40,519 only fuck guys, but topped, yes, but topped. And again this 362 00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:44,720 was seen as having a very specific type thing. You know what I mean. 363 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,799 Yeah, Like it wasn't well, you think you're better than us, 364 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:52,559 you think you're too good to fuck a guy. Ore Go, what are 365 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:55,720 you doing? Man? You didn't try all the flavors. You're gonna limit 366 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,720 your options. It's more than one type of hole, buddy, what do 367 00:26:57,799 --> 00:27:03,720 you so? Uh? There was also and it's just this is why the 368 00:27:04,599 --> 00:27:12,720 Claudius thing is is um I guess odd in particular because at the time of 369 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:17,640 so Claudius, when it was Claudius. Tiberius was, I believe, the 370 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:22,119 emperor when um Jesus was crucified. But this is like early Imperial time, 371 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:30,839 right, ump emper Claudius. Uh he was, yeah, this same same 372 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,880 time. He was around the same time. He was emperor until fifty four 373 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,440 eighty, so this is the early early Empire. He was the one when 374 00:27:38,519 --> 00:27:44,839 Jesus. No, Tiberius was when Jesus was execute my boy, yeah, 375 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,599 oh yeah, my boy. Why don't you name your firstborn Tiberius? Do 376 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,359 it? It's not a terrible name, Tiberius. You just say you're a 377 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,440 star Trek fan. Yeah, seriously, it's not the worst name. It's 378 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:03,359 actually not bad. I'm not naming my kid. But because that's just dumb, 379 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,000 you don't be associated with nerds said it. Captain Kirk. Come on, 380 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:12,599 he's a badass. Nah, James call him beer beer. Oh it's 381 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:18,880 back on the hey, beer beer, give me a beer beer. Oh 382 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,480 yeah, no, I love that kind of child abuse. That's great. 383 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,240 So oh you as a single dad, because obviously you're gonna get divorced. 384 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,200 Just no with the child. Oh, the child would call the divide. 385 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,960 So if we don't, we stay together forever. Yeah, well, got 386 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,839 great news. I know. Yeah, Okay, check it out real quick. 387 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,799 Katie has some wild pregnancy where she doesn't find out she's pregnant until three 388 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,359 days before she's due. It's an immaculate conception. You can fly down to 389 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:53,720 Honduras and get that thing's brains scrambled and keep your marriage intact but it's like 390 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,319 fully formed. Or you can let the baby born and know that your marriage 391 00:28:57,319 --> 00:29:02,160 will gets off at one point. What do you do? That's an impossible 392 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,720 question to ask on air. Well, you rip out the baby and then 393 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,480 you crack its neck and get all the stem cells. That's the that's the 394 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:15,359 what is it? Chris? This isn't my favorite topic for me? His 395 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,599 wife on like mind listening to the show. I know now I'm gonna have 396 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,359 a conversation about this moment, and it's really weird. It's weird because I'm 397 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,960 in the present talking right now, but I know I'm also in a moment 398 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,839 in the future where you're trying this conversation that this just means he's going to 399 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:36,200 keep the baby, He's not gonna scramble A nine. Yeah, do you 400 00:29:36,319 --> 00:29:40,519 murder or do you save your marriage? Which do you kill the child murder 401 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:47,319 um not at nine months, dude, breathe that first breath, then we'll 402 00:29:47,359 --> 00:29:55,559 start talking. Anyway, proceed, I'm not getting it. He's gonna avoid 403 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:03,599 pass pass. Oh my god. All right, so the mother and child 404 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,200 died during childbirth, is he No? Wait, hold on, I mean, 405 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:15,880 I've never been to Honduras. I'd rather keep my wife in my life 406 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,400 than lay like then risk it on some nobody. I don't know. I 407 00:30:19,519 --> 00:30:22,480 never met this kid. This kid, I can never uck. Kid, 408 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:27,880 God suck. He might be the next huge gamble. He's gonna suck when 409 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,640 you're just sitting there being like you asshole this whole life. Yeah, I 410 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,279 mean, like it's not good for anyone in the one where I don't go 411 00:30:36,319 --> 00:30:38,279 to Honduras. If you think about it, I'm gonna resent the child. 412 00:30:38,359 --> 00:30:42,559 I'm not gonna have my wife anymore. Like, but you get a dopass 413 00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:47,799 trip. Everyone's alive to Central America. The trip. That's what I'm saying. 414 00:30:47,839 --> 00:30:51,559 I'm agreeing with you. He's he is picking Honduras. I don't know 415 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:52,839 what you're talking about. Yeah, he's putting that baby in a blender and 416 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,680 then you stay there because if it become a surf because because you're putting it 417 00:30:56,759 --> 00:31:02,079 on the it is predicated on the fact that if I don't do that, 418 00:31:02,359 --> 00:31:06,000 I lose my marriage. So yeah, it's a pretty easy pick for me. 419 00:31:07,519 --> 00:31:11,960 Okay, baby Killer Jake. Uh. Anyway, so there was leave 420 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:21,880 a review baby Killer Jake. You know what. Yeah, that's my band 421 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,960 by Killer, Stinky Farts and the baby Killers. The reason Claudius was so 422 00:31:26,039 --> 00:31:30,480 bizarre to people, by the way, it's because I think around I think 423 00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:33,079 around this time, um. But certainly in the early ISSH Imperial era, 424 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:40,359 like the first one hundred and fifty years UM, there was a very very 425 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:47,240 specific like the ultimate sort of sexual partner um or a most desirable sexual partner 426 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:52,599 was essentially like a super twink, a unicorn, like a borderline like transaxual 427 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:59,480 to be on m transone that is feminine, extremely feminine, like a lady 428 00:31:59,519 --> 00:32:05,839 boy would be. They a shalome, a castrated chalome. Oh, they 429 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:10,200 castrated them. Unis were Yeah, basically boys slash Unichs were dressed elaborately to 430 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,920 look like women. They would have makeup, feminine hair styles, all asstuff. 431 00:32:15,079 --> 00:32:19,480 This was this was showing up to your high school reunion with Margot Robbie 432 00:32:20,279 --> 00:32:22,160 having a lady boy. Yeah. Really, yes, Well, you know 433 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:28,400 it's interesting. I've actually read I Believe in the Indian subcontinent when you know 434 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:34,359 about sexuality there and similar things were like it was similar to that because the 435 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,599 whole concept behind it was like, oh, they're very feminine, but there's 436 00:32:37,599 --> 00:32:39,720 no breasts again in the way of the embrace, so you can fully embrace 437 00:32:39,799 --> 00:32:43,559 the person while you're having sex with them. I think men have just been 438 00:32:43,599 --> 00:32:46,000 trying to get women the hell out of their lives for their time. Wait. 439 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:51,440 Wait, so you're saying India's small tit community like the pro small tits. 440 00:32:51,759 --> 00:32:52,640 I don't. I don't. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying 441 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:57,519 that was the logic that was presented in whatever articles This is America. Well, 442 00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:00,599 they wouldn't be the first society, all right, this is we want 443 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:06,799 fucking jugs, I want fucking giant, fucking cannons and twins. But India 444 00:33:07,559 --> 00:33:13,319 happened. India was not the only society that felt that way. Ancient Romans 445 00:33:13,319 --> 00:33:15,440 felt that way too about titties, but the embrace was blocked. No, 446 00:33:15,559 --> 00:33:17,920 but they didn't like big tits. We'll get into that. That's a little 447 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,839 later, take that small titty bullshit out of my face. All right, 448 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,720 who's this character that you are? This is just America, man, This 449 00:33:25,759 --> 00:33:30,440 is I'm just standing up for what's right. Dan's country enough energy drink to 450 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,519 let this all out? Yeah, essentially, um, first form Yeah, 451 00:33:34,559 --> 00:33:38,400 Dan is just chugging first form energy drinks, getting a boner and cool love 452 00:33:38,519 --> 00:33:42,799 hanging out with my boys drinking energy drinks and getting boners. I also to 453 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:51,359 man, so they don't even sponsor us? Was for the plug? They 454 00:33:51,359 --> 00:33:53,839 should? Yeah? Dan's rock hard for you guys. Anyway. Um, 455 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:59,200 so you get like a staticky TV in here real quick for what just to 456 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,400 try and see if we see porn? Oh yeah yeah yeah, but like 457 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:07,359 softcore porn cinemax that you don't Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. 458 00:34:07,359 --> 00:34:08,559 But it's the cable's kind of shitty, so it's coming in a little 459 00:34:08,559 --> 00:34:12,239 bit. We all know exactly what we're talking about. Kids today, don't 460 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,559 don't understand. If you look at Rob's work computer, one of his most 461 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:19,480 visited websites is porn up? Really that one over there? Yeah, it's 462 00:34:20,119 --> 00:34:24,079 on Google like the Hope the six home your top six there, because he'll 463 00:34:24,119 --> 00:34:29,800 just put on violent pornography while they're mid show, while we're producing violent not 464 00:34:30,039 --> 00:34:35,320 violent, but like insane violent, like weird. It's Rob's kind of cank. 465 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,960 It's his playlist. He's got the playlist feature on porn hupping. He's 466 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,199 just like queuing it up. He's like, you know, like some people 467 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:45,199 put songs together, Yeah, I put just facials. Just dudes dunk in 468 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:49,360 the woman's face and the toilet and just give him a swirling and flushing the 469 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:57,679 toilet. My favorite one is called no Escape Room. Jesus Christ. It's 470 00:34:57,679 --> 00:35:00,840 a good one. Uh, what's the most fucked up shit you've come to? 471 00:35:00,679 --> 00:35:05,159 I'm not doing this on this show. And also just to it's not 472 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,559 fucked up? What are you looking at? Something truly fucked up? And 473 00:35:12,039 --> 00:35:15,360 I'm actually pretty boring. Yeah, I think a lot of people are. 474 00:35:15,559 --> 00:35:17,280 Yeah, yeah, I tried. The sex club. Wasn't from me, 475 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:22,559 no coward. I know. You get a fucking arm sleeve tattoo and you 476 00:35:22,559 --> 00:35:27,400 can't even adopt the lifestyle. I'm trying to be as Austin as possible. 477 00:35:28,679 --> 00:35:31,440 That's more circles see or no, I'm sorry Steiner Ranch is it? It's 478 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:37,559 more Steiner Ranch to be lifestyle. It's whatever part of on it is at 479 00:35:38,599 --> 00:35:45,039 yeah, on it too. So shot spired turning boys, particularly slaves, 480 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:52,639 all these slaves or poor people into Unix actually became um so popular and so 481 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:59,159 widespread that it kind of started to be a problem. Oh no, they 482 00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:04,519 were cutting off off too many nutsacks. In Rome, the Senate literally had 483 00:36:04,519 --> 00:36:07,719 to pass a law that said you could not just up and castrate a boy, 484 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:13,480 even if you owned him, if the main reason or the like, 485 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,440 the only reason was just because you wanted to keep him famine fun. They 486 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:20,360 had the Bob Barker stopped spading new Ter in your slaves. Yes, God, 487 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:23,400 yes, but by the way, this was this was If you thought 488 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:29,000 this was to protect the slaves, you are wrong. Um. One of 489 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:34,360 the primary virtues of a Roman citizen, along with only fucking never getting fucked, 490 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:40,880 is to a big component of being a good Roman male is self control. 491 00:36:42,679 --> 00:36:45,519 And I guess these guys, I mean on the edge. They were 492 00:36:45,559 --> 00:36:50,119 just going goddamn bananas on these Unich boys, to the point where they were 493 00:36:50,159 --> 00:36:53,400 like, like, you could fuck a boy eunuch, but you can't just 494 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:59,280 like get up in the middle of dinner and take them to the bathroom, 495 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,400 you have to wine. Yeah, well, like you're like think the manage, 496 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:05,519 Like we're all at dinner with our boy eunichs and I'm just like, 497 00:37:05,559 --> 00:37:10,639 I kind of cal man. I can't even like that's too much. It's 498 00:37:10,679 --> 00:37:15,119 like the Namble episode of South Park. Yeah, my boy, butters, 499 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:20,840 it's un Roman too. You don't want to be this straight savage, right, 500 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,960 Yeah, that's not real, Like finish your mule. So essentially they 501 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:28,760 were like everyone has gotten a little too wild with these lady boys. We 502 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:35,280 gotta fucking I imagine it was back after a long night of lead tainted wine. 503 00:37:35,599 --> 00:37:39,119 Yeah, with their lady boys, many a night um. Perhaps the 504 00:37:39,159 --> 00:37:50,239 most famous instance of um a eunuch, twink slave whatever um was after Nero's 505 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,360 wife died. Now the propaganda says that Nero kicked her to death for nagging 506 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:58,360 him about being out too late at the chariot races. They're kind of checks 507 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:02,280 though that tracks for new Probably not true, even though he's a psycho according 508 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:06,280 to his According to historian, it's probably not true. He used Christians as 509 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,360 torches for his parties, So I'm gonna go with yes, that was kind 510 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:13,840 of metal. They weren't Christians weren't people. His wife was people. What 511 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,400 if she converted to Christian She did not. As far as I know, 512 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,400 he was. He was in love with her, and he was heartbroken when 513 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:21,119 she died. Here's how I know that he probably didn't do it on purpose. 514 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,400 He was so heartbroken when she died that he found this boy named Sporus, 515 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:30,800 had him castrated, and uh just forced him to spend the rest of 516 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,440 his life dressed up like his dead wife. Actually have heard about this one, 517 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,760 which is weird, but yeah, it's it's very odd. It's like, 518 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:42,039 you're my wife, now, yeah, you are my like your new 519 00:38:42,039 --> 00:38:44,559 wife. No, no, you're my old wife. I'm gonna call you 520 00:38:44,599 --> 00:38:49,960 the name man Sporus is not a good name. It's almost as well Sporus. 521 00:38:50,559 --> 00:38:52,440 That wasn't a name for long because he was the new Papea Sabina, 522 00:38:52,519 --> 00:38:57,639 which is his wife's name, his wife's name. He was just Papea Sabina 523 00:38:57,639 --> 00:39:00,840 too. Can you imagine, like your boss, right, it loses his 524 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,960 wife and you're like, oh shit, that sucks for Jim mand that effect 525 00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:08,760 work. And then you're at the Christmas party like a month later, and 526 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:14,840 he's just trotting around that like that kind of person, like a person he 527 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:19,199 found him a man or boy. It's like castrated on twink. Yeah, 528 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,559 and it's like, no, this is my like just place it off like 529 00:39:21,599 --> 00:39:24,000 the one never Carol. Yeah, this is Carol. This is you know 530 00:39:24,079 --> 00:39:29,400 Carol, don't you dare question? Yeah, you're your your boss can also 531 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,000 have you killed at any moments, Carol, Carol, So good to see 532 00:39:32,039 --> 00:39:37,599 you. Glad you didn't get eaten by lions like we all thought, but 533 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:42,880 I guess. Yeah, it's so great she has risen. What a great 534 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,039 day, Carol. I be insane even without the fact that they could kill 535 00:39:46,079 --> 00:39:50,760 you, like you imagine you're like, what the fuck? Right? Even 536 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,320 just fire you? Yeah, it's like, oh yeah, I'd play along 537 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:59,400 to keep my job. Oh can you imagine the goss after the party? 538 00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:04,880 Everyone be the best day of work? Be like, hey that Carol, 539 00:40:05,519 --> 00:40:10,159 Carol, I've seen her around. That was Steve. He worked in the 540 00:40:10,159 --> 00:40:15,440 mail room. Let's see the mail room real slow huh? And now yeah, 541 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:20,119 I mean the bosses went down there, yeah and grabbed him and now 542 00:40:20,159 --> 00:40:25,360 he's Carol. Now Carol, U the best day of work. Well, 543 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:30,280 somehow Sports's life only got worse from there. I mean, you hear about 544 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:34,280 how it ended. No, I didn't. But it's kind of crazy to 545 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,000 start at the bottom of the hill and just dive below the ground the bottom 546 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:42,320 of the hill in a sinkhole. Open. Let's see. Nero was known 547 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,119 for fire. He loved fire. You would be wrong. Nero loved him. 548 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:52,000 But Nero died. Oh no, so we got passed. Oh well, 549 00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:57,400 what happened is people don't really like Nero. So sports became sort of 550 00:40:57,559 --> 00:41:00,239 a war trophy for the two emperatures, who immediately succeeded in hero, the 551 00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:09,039 second of which our old friends sphincter. It's a sphincter. Sporus off kind 552 00:41:09,079 --> 00:41:15,320 of uh, decided to dunk on Nero's memory. Um, it would be 553 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:22,360 rad to do something terrible to Sporus. Oh no, spors Yeah, so 554 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:27,840 he wanted to shame the dead hated emperor by taking his replacement wife. Um. 555 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:34,719 And his plan was to have Sporus dressed up like the goddess Persephone taken 556 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,320 into the arena. Wouldn't they call see him yet? By taking into the 557 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:42,000 arena, uh, and be gang raped to death by gladiators who were all 558 00:41:42,079 --> 00:41:45,320 dressed like hades. Theatrics Yeah, Hades, if you don't know, is 559 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:51,159 James Woods's character from the movie Hercules, the Blue flame hair guy. So 560 00:41:51,199 --> 00:41:54,719 the next time you see that character, watch Hercules, the beloved Disney movie. 561 00:41:55,000 --> 00:42:00,280 Just remember this fun fact. Remember that. Well sport Us heard about 562 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:05,320 this and was like, they're gonna do what and was like seeya and just 563 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:10,000 killed himself. Ah well, honestly, that's the honorable way. He only 564 00:42:10,039 --> 00:42:15,519 went. No, I think you gotta be entertainment do anything for the content. 565 00:42:16,039 --> 00:42:20,519 You gotta do it for the content. So you're Sporus. If that 566 00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:22,719 was my option, I'm not killing myself. I'm going out. You're going 567 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:29,599 to die while being gang raped. It's not gladiators. I'm going out with 568 00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:32,480 honor. Yeah, I don't. No, it's gonna be like, man, 569 00:42:32,519 --> 00:42:37,360 he really took it. Yeah, wow, what a guy in the 570 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:43,760 arena. So we've there's two separate instances of Dan going back to ancient Rome 571 00:42:44,159 --> 00:42:47,320 and being like into oblivion. No, no, no, no, it's 572 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:52,360 Dan going to the Senate and being like, listen, you can top if 573 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,400 you're bottoming if you throw it back. And I want to give that Teddy 574 00:42:54,480 --> 00:43:00,320 Roosevelt man in the arena speech, and no Dan's also gonna go You're gonna 575 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,199 have an apple in your mouth. You a little pick bottom. Dan's gonna 576 00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:06,679 go to sports and it's time of need and be like, just go enjoy 577 00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,639 it. I just have fun, live, laugh, love it. You 578 00:43:08,679 --> 00:43:14,440 know, get your groove back. I'm gonna win them over. You get 579 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,400 in that persephone off and you go out there and show them what you're made 580 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:22,599 of. There's only one way for you to win. To throw it back 581 00:43:22,639 --> 00:43:30,800 so hard they'll die. You gotta power bottomower bottom your way out of this. 582 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:36,360 It's just like it's like hours later and there's twenty gladiators dead of dehydration 583 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,519 in the arena. They couldn't take it. It's a little bottom of kitsch 584 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:45,159 and the Emperor is like, do not stop, just keeps throwing bodies, 585 00:43:45,559 --> 00:43:53,239 doesn't matter. I yield Jesus Christ. Next movie. Um so yeah, 586 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:59,119 so uh the Last Temptation of sporis. This is what would happen if you 587 00:43:59,159 --> 00:44:04,800 did sports revenge. There's likely hundreds of thousands of stories as grim as sports 588 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:09,440 is, more or less, but not quite as spectacular. Um, because 589 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:17,280 you see another thing a Roman man's supposed to do was fuck his slaves all 590 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:22,199 the time, gotta take care of him. No, it's just to take 591 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:28,039 care of yourself. Your slaves are literally your flesh lights. Oh gross. 592 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,400 Yeah, so they never masturbated. I don't think they needed to a lot. 593 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:36,679 No, Like literally, if a rich Roman guy with horny, it 594 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:43,760 was just you now, and this was not cheating, like this is this 595 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,880 is jacking off. Yeah, it's just your property. I'm dead ass serious. 596 00:44:46,079 --> 00:44:52,639 In fact, uh, they these I mean the slaves were essentially like 597 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:58,599 one of their jobs was essentially like cum dumpster, to the point where Romans 598 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:05,280 had the same word for ejaculate and urinate. Oh gross. Do you think 599 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:09,159 just to relieve yourself, think Thomas Jefferson just appreciated ancient Roman culture, you 600 00:45:09,199 --> 00:45:14,199 know, I'm sure that might be how he sometimes justified it to himself. 601 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:19,840 Yeah, if I had to really guess, there's you know, I think 602 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,559 about the lens we just talked about, right, and we look at things 603 00:45:22,519 --> 00:45:25,840 through the lens over time. You have to like understand that it's still a 604 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:30,159 person, right. I think it's all just like historically people telling themselves that. 605 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,440 I think Thomas Jefferson knew it was a person. I do not think 606 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:38,079 these people did, Okay, it's when it's so ingrained into the society for 607 00:45:38,159 --> 00:45:42,039 hundreds and times of years. I mean people talk about social constructs all the 608 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:44,559 time. I mean, this is is in a social contact. It's a 609 00:45:44,599 --> 00:45:47,840 social pillar, it's a social foundation. Okay, you know what I mean, 610 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,679 Like it's foundational. Like you know, the guy was referred to as 611 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:57,559 sphincter. Yeah, no, that's and he was a powerful man. I 612 00:45:57,639 --> 00:46:00,920 would that's insane. Yeah, that's a good point. That's really nuts. 613 00:46:00,159 --> 00:46:05,599 Here's how the best way I could think of relating it is is say someone 614 00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:08,440 I don't know, two thousand years in the future, literally two thousand years 615 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,639 in the future. It is like, I mean, but on some level, 616 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:20,920 they had to know that the cows were living things. Yeah, damn 617 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,679 yeah, it's like they had to Like it's someone didn't they appreciate that the 618 00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:30,159 cows like had some level of emotion. Yeah no, it's so true because 619 00:46:30,199 --> 00:46:31,079 you know, damn well, if they can never figure out how to make 620 00:46:31,079 --> 00:46:36,599 animals talk like communicate with us, it's over. Oh yeah, Like no, 621 00:46:36,679 --> 00:46:37,880 there's gonna be a point where it's like do we keep eating them? 622 00:46:38,119 --> 00:46:44,159 Right? Like do we keep doing that? Like like Carl put that thing 623 00:46:44,159 --> 00:46:46,039 on his head, and now the cow is just begging me not to kill 624 00:46:46,079 --> 00:46:52,880 it, and it says, we've baby, please, no, my baby, 625 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,360 and Jake's like, but then Jake's like, I gotta kill your baby. 626 00:46:55,400 --> 00:47:00,280 My wife's gonna leave me. So oh because that's a call back to 627 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:05,239 the baby. Let's go back to Yeah. But yeah, that's I imagine 628 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:09,000 how their livestock their fu. Yeah, it's I mean, it's fair unfortunate, 629 00:47:09,039 --> 00:47:13,320 but you know it's not fair, but yeah, it's it's it's a 630 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,599 matter of fact for the time. Uh so, yeah, this was all 631 00:47:15,639 --> 00:47:21,679 I mean, they were flashlights in fact. Um, oh, this is 632 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:22,559 not it doesn't have to do with that. But for whatever reason, I 633 00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:28,679 just put this in here a common metaphors for they just I just don't know 634 00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:34,000 why this is in this right here. But they said that, um that 635 00:47:34,079 --> 00:47:38,639 they just called the anus the ring. M hm oh, it's just your 636 00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:43,079 ring. Simple. That was even in medical terms, And it was like 637 00:47:43,079 --> 00:47:45,199 the decorum way to put it. Oh, it was like the nice way 638 00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:47,679 to put it. Got it. Yeah, I was had his ring. 639 00:47:50,079 --> 00:47:54,960 I had by slaves ring. That's oddly polite sounding. One ring to rule 640 00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:00,840 them all. It was, yeah, and it was usually the boy too. 641 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:04,320 I mean to the point where there were quite a few Romans who preferred 642 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:12,320 boys or unis or even just got male slaves too rampant what so like, 643 00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,119 it was actually very common and not looked at like you said, it wasn't 644 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,519 homosexual. He there wasn't hop and bottom, it was top and bottom. 645 00:48:17,559 --> 00:48:22,519 Yeah, there was no wonder how prevalent that was like globally at the time. 646 00:48:23,679 --> 00:48:29,440 Uh, I don't know, because even ancient Greece had slightly different views. 647 00:48:30,039 --> 00:48:36,079 That's so close. But those are both highly civilized cultures. There was 648 00:48:36,119 --> 00:48:39,800 probably some mud people that were getting down, yeah whatever was happening in like 649 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:46,079 gall and fucking literally just in Germany. Yeah, Germany's fucking gnarly, I'm 650 00:48:46,119 --> 00:48:50,519 sure. Or maybe they were more like, um, what if they maybe 651 00:48:50,559 --> 00:48:52,599 they were more like modern day maybe they didn't like yeah, what if they 652 00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:55,719 were just straight as an arrow? But honestly so and that's why they kind 653 00:48:55,760 --> 00:49:00,000 of case that could I mean if that was actually why they warred. Yeah, 654 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,960 Like I mean, they constantly came in conflict because they're like you who, 655 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:06,079 God, you guys keep fucking butts. I mean, it could really 656 00:49:06,119 --> 00:49:07,760 just be a case of like you know, people in the country look at 657 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:14,239 metropolitan lifestyle is incredibly lavish and decadent to the point of being vile. Yeah, 658 00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,360 and you know, metropolitan people look at country people like, oh my 659 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,840 god, you backwoods hicks. You don't know anything about modernization. Yeah, 660 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,159 you're like, really be that? I mean why I probably is there was 661 00:49:24,199 --> 00:49:28,559 probably a lot of that. Yeah, right, that's kind of the common 662 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:32,360 shot at like billionaires, where like you get to a certain point of power 663 00:49:34,079 --> 00:49:37,480 and wealth that you just keep pushing the limits. Yeah, right, and 664 00:49:37,679 --> 00:49:40,079 see what you can get away with. And then one day you're like, 665 00:49:40,199 --> 00:49:45,239 you know what, I mean, what even is you know, wrong and 666 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,599 morally right? The ancient rumans used to do this. And then the next 667 00:49:47,599 --> 00:49:51,079 thing, you know, you're just you're at Epstein's Island. Yeah, wearing 668 00:49:51,119 --> 00:49:55,320 a fucking bird mask doing insane shit. Yeah. It's like, no, 669 00:49:55,519 --> 00:50:00,400 there's some stuff we figured out what's definitely wrong that I don't care if I'm 670 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:05,239 looking at it only through my current lens of society. You know, personally, 671 00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,199 I don't think anyone uses a lens of society. It's more so just 672 00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:13,480 a gut check for almost everything. But the gut check is I guess formed 673 00:50:13,519 --> 00:50:15,199 from society and right and wrong and stuff like that. But I think there's 674 00:50:15,199 --> 00:50:20,519 probably a level of like nature to it on some level. Yeah, I 675 00:50:20,519 --> 00:50:23,599 can see, uh. I mean, yeah, there's visceral reaction, but 676 00:50:23,679 --> 00:50:30,000 even even that determined by how you're raised. Essentially, it could be some 677 00:50:30,079 --> 00:50:36,800 things might be innate though. I mean like southern culture, southern black culture. 678 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,199 Would dog fighting with Michael Vick, right, that wasn't seen as like 679 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:43,639 a big deal to him. No, I mean to a lot of people. 680 00:50:43,639 --> 00:50:45,880 It's not. To a lot of cultures. It's still very much not 681 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,639 you know, yeah, And I mean cock fighting in uh In that is 682 00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,519 huge in like Puerto Rico, in the Dominican public. And I mean, 683 00:50:52,639 --> 00:50:58,039 to be fair, like we fucking eat cows Like what's I ohe dogs they're 684 00:50:58,119 --> 00:51:01,400 better. Like I personally find dog fighting disgusting, but it's at the end 685 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:07,559 of the day. But oh, cow fight not a bullfight where a man 686 00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:14,719 stabs a bull. They have cow wrestling in Japan in Okinawa actually really yeah, 687 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,599 they have to. You know, somebody from high school they went cow 688 00:51:16,639 --> 00:51:22,199 tipping. Oh h well, one, I don't think cow tipping is real. 689 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:22,880 It is real, No, I think it's a myth. Dude, 690 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,400 I don't think anyone tips cows. I think it's real. It's very real. 691 00:51:25,519 --> 00:51:28,360 No, I don't think so. If you're telling me no one in 692 00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,760 the last seventy years has cow tipped, I don't believe anyone that ever said 693 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:34,880 they did, is what I'm saying. Like, I never believed anyone that 694 00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,320 said they went cow tipping, because yeah, it was prevalent in the we 695 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:42,280 went cow tipping. I think you, I think you underestimate how little people 696 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:45,440 used to have to do. I meant at my high school, okay, 697 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:50,800 like cow tipping period. Don't think any kid I know did that. I 698 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:52,400 think truly, I don't all said they did. I mean it was like 699 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,800 a thing growing up hearing about you know what They're like, Oh yeah, 700 00:51:55,079 --> 00:51:59,159 kids in the country go cow tipping for fun. Well, actually, the 701 00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,719 thing that everyone did say they did, and I know they did this was 702 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:05,840 they'd go to the cow fields and get shrooms out of the poop because the 703 00:52:06,559 --> 00:52:09,320 like psilocybe mushrooms grown cow poop. That's weird. Yeah, I'd rather just 704 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:16,639 push them over anything ze gunnies. Yeah that seems better. So another funny 705 00:52:16,679 --> 00:52:22,880 thing about um, I guess the boy verse girl may in verse woman. 706 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:28,599 Whatever you wanna call a thing is um. Romans basically believed that anal sex 707 00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:35,000 was better with uh men than women or board unix or whatever than diet um. 708 00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:42,960 I don't know. The Roman satirist and Marshal Uh spelled mr t I 709 00:52:43,119 --> 00:52:51,360 a l uh he uh wrote something about how his wife he wanted to try 710 00:52:51,360 --> 00:53:00,880 to have anal sex with his wife and uh she essentially uh or she tried 711 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,880 to have sex with She tried to have anal sex with him, and he 712 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,880 was like, fuck that your butthole sucks. And to prove it, he 713 00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,440 brought in one of his boy slaves and was like, look at how much 714 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,440 better this butthole is than yours compared. Yeah, did he bring a hand 715 00:53:15,519 --> 00:53:20,599 mirror for like? I think he just showed it, showed him her her 716 00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:28,599 his, and was just like, trust me, you don't want loose, 717 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:32,000 though you probably won't lose. I don't know. For butts, have you 718 00:53:32,039 --> 00:53:36,119 had butt sex? Yeah? Once, dude, it's not good. I 719 00:53:36,119 --> 00:53:37,400 don't like it either. It's not good. I think it's pretty whatever. 720 00:53:38,519 --> 00:53:42,920 Although I've never been the receiver, so I can't speak to that aspect of 721 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:49,320 it. But topping topping a butt man. Yeah, somebody else offers me 722 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,079 it pass. Yeah, I just Vagina will do real quick. Before we 723 00:53:52,079 --> 00:53:55,079 get back into this episode that no one should want to advertise on, we 724 00:53:55,119 --> 00:53:58,840 do have some advertisers. Yeah, they didn't know what they were getting. 725 00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:02,400 They never do. 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It's like having a I don't know if 734 00:54:34,519 --> 00:54:36,880 we can legally say what I was about to say, so won't, but 735 00:54:37,119 --> 00:54:40,199 it is great. It's it's really just the perfect it's good vibe, good 736 00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:43,239 times, It's very like t shop, just like, yeah, I'm just 737 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,840 gonna I'm here to vibe. And this isn't This isn't some gas station bullshit 738 00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:50,599 that you see pop up as soon as the state makes Delta nine legal or 739 00:54:50,639 --> 00:54:53,239 whatever. This they do this right. It is organic. It's rosin pressed. 740 00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:57,559 It's from a dude from California who is now here growing and stuff. 741 00:54:57,559 --> 00:55:00,480 I mean it is. They do it all natural. All right again, 742 00:55:00,559 --> 00:55:05,039 I'll just say I just want to reiterate this is not synthetic gas station garbage 743 00:55:05,079 --> 00:55:07,519 nonsense. This is the real deal, good stuff. There's nothing rocky about 744 00:55:07,559 --> 00:55:10,519 it. It's super smooth, either like you know, you're going out for 745 00:55:10,559 --> 00:55:15,159 a brunch maybe or if you're like just trying to watch a movie. They 746 00:55:15,199 --> 00:55:17,159 have different strains. You're still gonna be present, You're not going to be 747 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:25,199 if you'd like to understand open Harmer while also feeling glorious while seeing it, 748 00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:30,639 Yeah, good call great or Napoleon anything like that, which we will definitely 749 00:55:30,639 --> 00:55:34,800 be going. Oh yeah, this is uh. The Chill Country Rosin gummies 750 00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,840 are available in three Texas inspired flavors. It's made right here in the Hill 751 00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:42,280 Country, um, and they're perfectly dialed strains. The Indica is prickly pear 752 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:46,400 flavored, which I love. The Sativa is ranch water flavored. That's a 753 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:52,079 goave lime for you non Texan barbarians. And then the hybrid is peach all 754 00:55:52,079 --> 00:55:57,960 three or great. Um. I usually stick with Indica because it's the chill 755 00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,320 out one. Yeah, it's Indica into couch Into. I love it. 756 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,719 Both. They're amazing and by the way, I can't say enough again about 757 00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:07,800 um the THHC Provisions merged like they make really really really high quality T shirts, 758 00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:12,039 hats, hoodies, everything, etc. And it's a small business right 759 00:56:12,039 --> 00:56:14,679 here in the Central Texas in Hill Country. Check both of them out. 760 00:56:15,199 --> 00:56:17,679 That's chill Country dot Com slash Softcore for twenty percent off the rosin gummies and 761 00:56:17,679 --> 00:56:22,760 THHC Provisions dot Com slash Softcore for the same deal on their hats and apparel. 762 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,760 It's all in our description on you know where we get your podcast. 763 00:56:27,159 --> 00:56:30,880 Next up, we've got Factor head to Factor Meals dot com slash Softcore fifty 764 00:56:30,039 --> 00:56:34,360 to use the code softcore fifty to get fifty percent. I'm gonna do again. 765 00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:37,039 Sorry, Yeah, that's take two. Next up, we've got Factor 766 00:56:37,159 --> 00:56:40,280 go to Factor Meals dot com slash Softcore fifty and use the code Softcore fifty 767 00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:45,280 to get fifty percent off your order. That's code Softcore fifty. At Factor 768 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:49,079 Meals dot Com slash softcore fifty to get fifty percent off. 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They come ready made. You 779 00:57:22,159 --> 00:57:24,519 just heat them up. And again, they have no business being as good 780 00:57:24,519 --> 00:57:27,920 as they are. A lot of the ones you hear about you gotta make 781 00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,360 it, You still gotta cook and stuff like that. We've established your wife 782 00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:32,559 can't cook, right, No, you cannot uh. And these meals they're 783 00:57:32,559 --> 00:57:36,639 ready in two minutes. You can get breakfast with them. They've got egg 784 00:57:36,639 --> 00:57:38,159 bites, pancakes, all kinds stuff like that. You can get lunches to 785 00:57:38,199 --> 00:57:40,679 go with them. You can get appetizers with them. They sent me a 786 00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:45,480 caso that was bimanas uh. And then you can get different types of meals 787 00:57:45,519 --> 00:57:51,519 to paleo, calorie conscious, um figure macros. Yeah. Yeah, just 788 00:57:51,519 --> 00:57:54,320 stuff that will fit your your life. Whatever you need, vegan, vegetarian, 789 00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:58,199 it doesn't matter that you can. There's a bunch of ad ons you 790 00:57:58,239 --> 00:58:00,719 can do. You can, I mean you, it's super oustimizable. And 791 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,719 again, my god, it is so easy and they're so good. Like 792 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:06,519 it literally me and my wife for pote, like this is stupid. How 793 00:58:06,519 --> 00:58:09,440 good this is. Factor Meals dot com slash softcore fifty and use the code 794 00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:14,559 softcore fifty to get fifty percent off. 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It's it's zero 875 01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:05,400 down. They're made in America, like I said, cooling technology, and 876 01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:07,239 you get either forty percent off or thirty percent off depending what you buy. 877 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:12,679 It's an incredible deal at ghostbed dot com. Forward slash drinking Bros. All 878 01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,679 right, let's get back to the show. There is also historical evidence that 879 01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:21,320 so there's all this Roman debauchery, right, all this sexual debauchery, the 880 01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:25,239 fucking lady boys and topping and fucking whoever the fuck you felt like. An 881 01:03:25,239 --> 01:03:28,400 other thing you could do, by the way, is fucked someone in a 882 01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:32,320 lower class. Well, of course, right, it's power right, pretty 883 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,840 much, she could do that. Don't you want to fuck up the ladder 884 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,599 though? Sure you marry up the ladder, you fuck down the ladder. 885 01:03:39,679 --> 01:03:46,800 Hmm yeah, very upuck down dude. Yeah. Um. So there are 886 01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:54,519 some historical opinions that the sexual debauchery was mostly limited to the upper classes. 887 01:03:54,559 --> 01:03:57,840 And by the way, these are most of the people we have the records 888 01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:00,320 from the literate class, the rich class, people who you know, could 889 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:04,719 pay to have things written down and stuff like that. The nonwealthy majority, 890 01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:11,360 the middle class and certainly lower were apparently potentially a lot more reserved in their 891 01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:15,639 sexual practices and looked down on the upper class, in part because the upper 892 01:04:15,679 --> 01:04:18,400 class, uh you know, stumbled trunk down into their neighborhoods and were just 893 01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:24,719 like, they're fucking monsters. Yeah, oh, are we surprised, Right, 894 01:04:25,039 --> 01:04:28,519 It's always been that way. They weren't necessarily of the same opinion as 895 01:04:28,559 --> 01:04:32,960 the rich Romans. And like I said earlier, good Roman women did not 896 01:04:33,159 --> 01:04:36,880 have the same expectations as good Roman men. They're supposed to be chased and 897 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,840 mary, it wasn't when they had sex. It wasn't really a big deal 898 01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:45,280 if they came or not. Sex was supposed to be really only pleasurable for 899 01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:47,719 them for the man. The woman's joy of sex came from getting pregnant, 900 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,199 and like, yeah, you can't do that to the mother of your child, 901 01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:55,280 right, you can't do all these deviant things. That is a huge 902 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:58,639 part of it. You had, like, I don't know, nice, 903 01:04:58,719 --> 01:05:01,719 normal vanilla sex with your wife, and then you went and did just insane 904 01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:08,480 shit to other people, prostitute slaves. You know, it's the baker's daughter. 905 01:05:08,719 --> 01:05:13,480 A lot of this still very much exists. It's called business guys in 906 01:05:13,519 --> 01:05:17,280 Thailand. Yeah, it's called business. Guys in Thailand. Yep, that's 907 01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,320 it. Yeah, this very much still exists. Never trust a woman that 908 01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:25,159 goes to Dubai. Never trust a man that goes to Thailand. Never ever 909 01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:32,440 trusted dude who went solo to Thailand. Very close friend. Oh we all 910 01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:34,519 do, I guess yeah. Anyway, Yeah, you'd better be trained in 911 01:05:34,559 --> 01:05:40,039 moy Thai. You're right, But even then you better go straight to your 912 01:05:40,039 --> 01:05:44,000 home, to your apartment. Yeah, you have food delivered. You don't 913 01:05:44,039 --> 01:05:46,440 leave the apartment except for moy Thai. You live stream that whole thing. 914 01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:54,360 Um, women just really, believe it or not, didn't get a great 915 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,440 didn't get a great deal in all this. Well, I guess I believe 916 01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,760 it. Yeah. One of the slang words women used for their general's was 917 01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:06,760 porcus, which means pig. But that was actually because of its usage. 918 01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:12,239 You would sacrifice a pig to the Goddess series, and you know, for 919 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:16,519 wedding rights. So I guarantee there's a bunch of rich women that got down 920 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,119 with the lower class, but it wasn't written down because they didn't talk about 921 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:25,119 that definitely happened, and there were oftentimes we'll get into a little bit, 922 01:06:25,159 --> 01:06:30,519 but essentially like women would get be given like gladiators or slaves or something to 923 01:06:30,599 --> 01:06:36,480 get like absolutely railed out Spaniard. Yeah, there's actually a scene in Rome, 924 01:06:36,519 --> 01:06:44,119 I forget which season it is, where the main woman fucking August Caesar's 925 01:06:44,159 --> 01:06:47,320 mom, I forget her name, she's fucking Mark Anthony. But one of 926 01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:53,840 her gladiator, one of her friends brings her or like buys her a slave 927 01:06:54,039 --> 01:06:59,119 with just a fucking hammer cock, just fucking huge, and she's like because 928 01:06:59,199 --> 01:07:02,400 she can just it's he's a dildo, right for the men. The slaves 929 01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:06,480 are reflected that that's a living dildo, and they show it too, and 930 01:07:06,519 --> 01:07:14,079 it's fucking huge. Roma and Rome shows it. Yeah. Um but yeah, 931 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:18,079 just in general, though, vaginas not looked on that great Marshall again 932 01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:26,320 writes of female genitalia only badly, only insultingly. He described one ladies vagina 933 01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:30,360 as loose as the foul gullet of a pelican. Oh wow. Uh. 934 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:35,519 The vagina is often um compared to a boy's anus as a receptacle fallats. 935 01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:40,239 So it's just like, yeah, you know his that boy's buttle or pussy 936 01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:44,280 whatever. Yeah, it's another hole. Yeah, we're sleeping on pelicans, 937 01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:48,519 though they they are kind of uh you think they're hot. Huh No, 938 01:07:48,559 --> 01:07:55,880 they're aggressive, swallow, they're fucking dinosaurs, their nightmares, they are crazy. 939 01:07:56,280 --> 01:08:00,599 Why they fit so much in their mouths? Little sluts? Mm hmmm 940 01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:03,679 uh so yeah, like you wouldn't want your vagina to be described as a 941 01:08:03,679 --> 01:08:09,239 pelican's mouth. No, but your mouth maybe I don't think so. No, 942 01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:12,320 because then you got just a lot of hang down. No, no, 943 01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,279 you're not your fucking chin or your neck your mouth, so you can 944 01:08:15,359 --> 01:08:21,199 fit like everything in I I guess this is the third thing. Tan goes 945 01:08:21,239 --> 01:08:25,760 back for it. Yeah, like change it up. He's power mouthing. 946 01:08:29,159 --> 01:08:31,239 Just fit the whole thing in your mouth. Um. Interestingly, in ancient 947 01:08:31,279 --> 01:08:35,479 Rome, both women and men remove their pubic hair. Oh really um yeah, 948 01:08:35,479 --> 01:08:40,560 but grooming it is sort of like the you know everyone i'd Bush in 949 01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:45,920 the seven control shaving by the control burn. What it was a controlled burn? 950 01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:49,000 Yeah, just a little candle. Really, No, I was shaved. 951 01:08:49,159 --> 01:08:51,279 I thought, like I thought it was pretty common to you for them 952 01:08:51,319 --> 01:08:55,399 to use olive oil and salt to like rub their body. Yes, yeah, 953 01:08:55,560 --> 01:09:00,359 yeah, um ay, but they do talk out like Harry Bush too. 954 01:09:00,399 --> 01:09:05,880 I think. One fragment from the satirist Lucilius refers to um penetrating a 955 01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:12,159 quote unquote Harry bag. And there is uh graffiti from POMPEII that says, 956 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:15,279 I don't know if this was in my Pompei episode that says a Harry kunt 957 01:09:15,399 --> 01:09:18,960 is a is fucked much better than one which is smooth. It's steamy and 958 01:09:19,039 --> 01:09:24,399 wants cock. Oh you know, holds in that steam. I think it's 959 01:09:24,399 --> 01:09:27,319 still that in a pizza hut one time, a pizza at bathroom. Yeah, 960 01:09:27,359 --> 01:09:30,119 yeah, probably. Uh. Also, the breasts of a woman, 961 01:09:30,119 --> 01:09:33,399 we're supposed to be unobtrusive. Like I said earlier, Marshall makes fun of 962 01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:38,920 big boobs. He makes fun of big titties. Old women who were stereotypically 963 01:09:39,039 --> 01:09:44,000 ugly and undesirable in every way had big big tits. Uh in Roman plays. 964 01:09:44,319 --> 01:09:46,199 Uh, when they wanted to portray an ugly woman, they gave her 965 01:09:46,279 --> 01:09:51,039 huge tits. I gotta say so, not on my list of traveling back 966 01:09:51,079 --> 01:09:57,199 anymore. It's gone at Rome right on. Do you have a nice beet 967 01:09:57,199 --> 01:10:01,680 cup? Man? But here's the weird thing to me of all of this. 968 01:10:03,119 --> 01:10:10,159 They were not fans of oral sex, really too sensual receiving it giving 969 01:10:10,199 --> 01:10:13,000 it, all of it, all of it if you can. If you 970 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:16,159 engage in oral sex in any way, especially if you were sucking or licking, 971 01:10:17,199 --> 01:10:20,199 you were garbit. It was probably better to get fucked in the ass. 972 01:10:20,239 --> 01:10:24,199 That was the whole plot line in Soprano. That's the that is the 973 01:10:24,239 --> 01:10:29,840 genesis of the entire plot of the series, in a way kind of junial 974 01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:34,119 moment. Yeah, it's it starts the it's the first domino in a series 975 01:10:34,159 --> 01:10:39,119 of dominoes. That is the series. Is Junior Soprano being called out for 976 01:10:39,159 --> 01:10:41,720 going down on his girlfriend. Yeah, because they're like, oh, he 977 01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:45,439 goes down on his girlfriend. He's whispering through the willows like it's just like 978 01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:50,359 what and it's I guess this is about yeah, Like it's it is so 979 01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:54,960 crazy that that because it's what gets Junior to be like I want to kill 980 01:10:55,000 --> 01:11:00,079 Tony. Yeah, and that starts everything. The entirety of the Soprano conflict 981 01:11:00,399 --> 01:11:06,640 basically comes from people finding out Junior goes down on his girlfriend and then they 982 01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:10,319 make fun of him. I do think that's a thing though with our father's 983 01:11:10,319 --> 01:11:15,159 generation, like they didn't go down. Our moms sad, weird, sad. 984 01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:26,039 It was Yeah, so Essentially, people thought that we'll start with sucking 985 01:11:26,119 --> 01:11:30,119 dick. That sucking dick caused bad breath and was nearly toxic. The breath 986 01:11:30,279 --> 01:11:33,760 was don't suck that dick, it'll kill you. There's a line from some 987 01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:39,800 comic verse that says horrors of the alleyways are contaminated from giving oral sex. 988 01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:44,560 He says the foul saliva of a pisted over horror catalyst as a writer. 989 01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:51,279 In another one of Marshall's writings, someone who sucks dick aflator as he called 990 01:11:51,279 --> 01:11:58,119 it, breathes on a hot cake to cool it down. It's like blows 991 01:11:58,159 --> 01:12:00,720 on it, you know, and the k immediately turns to human shit. 992 01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:06,600 These are so weird, right, Like this one's what what is it? 993 01:12:09,119 --> 01:12:14,680 It's so yeah, the asshole's fair play, but right, assholes as you 994 01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:16,479 want, man, let's shove your dick into shit. Hey, it's totally 995 01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,560 cool if you mutilate the genitals. Well, actually, now that makes sense. 996 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:24,039 If they're sucking dick after they shoved their fucking dick into an asshole, 997 01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:29,399 it's probably not clean. There's nothing clean right going on at this. Yeah, 998 01:12:29,399 --> 01:12:31,760 but you probably got shit breath. Oh everything sells like, by the 999 01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,840 way, for sure, did you see that? No? What they figured 1000 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:39,159 out like, they found an old Roman perfume bottle and they figured out what 1001 01:12:39,239 --> 01:12:41,600 was in it. They found one that was closed, Yeah, and it 1002 01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:46,960 was mostly peculi smelling. It smells like a head shop Roman sweet. Yeah, 1003 01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:50,319 of course they smelled like hippies. Yeah. Um, I'm obviously going 1004 01:12:50,359 --> 01:12:55,159 down on a woman. Uh made you, oh bitch? But we do 1005 01:12:55,239 --> 01:12:59,079 see some sixty ninety in Roman art, which I guess was chill um. 1006 01:12:59,119 --> 01:13:03,279 Interestingly, though, there is a painting in Pompeii that shows a quote unquote 1007 01:13:03,319 --> 01:13:09,479 like inferior guy going down on a very regal, powerful, powerful looking woman. 1008 01:13:11,800 --> 01:13:15,479 Probably this painting was meant to be like humorous and maybe a little like 1009 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:21,880 erotic in a transgressive type of way, like so dirty, right, It 1010 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:28,880 was a wanted poster this guy for doing this, This little goaty man keeps 1011 01:13:29,439 --> 01:13:35,399 look at pussy. There is some evidence that women could hire male prostitutes to 1012 01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:39,800 go down on them if their husbands wouldn't, and their husbands probably wouldn't. 1013 01:13:40,439 --> 01:13:44,760 There is again graffiti at Pompeii, I mean Pompei. People don't understand how 1014 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,399 much we've learned from Pompei. It is literally a city frozen in time. 1015 01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:50,520 That's crazy, man, It's nuts. Like there was a guy mid crank 1016 01:13:51,399 --> 01:13:57,920 right frozen. What if he got done wrong? We mean like you got 1017 01:13:57,960 --> 01:14:02,640 frozen and his hand was just in a oh precarious place, dude, the 1018 01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:06,159 angle of his the angle of his knees. He was looking up at it. 1019 01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:10,560 He's cranking. I like, yeah, I think he was staring at 1020 01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:14,600 the flow, the ash flow, being like, I bet you what happened 1021 01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:17,159 once He's facing the other way and like he was just like, whoa what 1022 01:14:17,239 --> 01:14:19,439 was that? I don't know. I'm halfway through though. That could be 1023 01:14:19,439 --> 01:14:27,520 a too. Yeah. Just like a lot of people left Pompeii before the 1024 01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:30,840 eruption because the mountain was going fucking bananas. Yeah. The people that stayed 1025 01:14:30,039 --> 01:14:33,600 might have just been the weirdos. They were truthers. Yeah, so this 1026 01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:40,119 guy was just like dupe whatever, that's liberal bullshit. Or it's just like 1027 01:14:40,159 --> 01:14:43,039 the ski bumps that never leave the ski resort towns, right, It's like 1028 01:14:43,079 --> 01:14:45,720 most of the time during the summer, there's no one there except for those 1029 01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:48,399 folks. They could have just been the townies. Yeah, yeah, some 1030 01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:58,359 weirdo towny jerking off. Um. So there's yeah, there's graffitian Pompeii that 1031 01:14:58,399 --> 01:15:02,960 advertised his prices for male prostitutes when what they charged for conne lingus um and 1032 01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:09,279 it's in the same price range as female prostitutes who would perform filatio. However, 1033 01:15:10,159 --> 01:15:13,199 there is a theory that the graffiti because as we talked about in the 1034 01:15:13,199 --> 01:15:16,520 Pompei episode, it was like Twitter, the graffiti you talk shit with it, 1035 01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:23,399 and so that so satirical. There was always there was there's it's essentially 1036 01:15:23,439 --> 01:15:29,119 like it could be insults to the men named and not actual advertisements, or 1037 01:15:29,239 --> 01:15:30,359 like it could be your buddy who you just want to embarrass, or it 1038 01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:34,279 could be like a politician or like local tax collector who you hate. Oh, 1039 01:15:34,319 --> 01:15:39,079 it's like, oh, Jeff gives head for right twenty dollars. He's 1040 01:15:39,119 --> 01:15:42,079 like you put your buddy's phone number on a trucker trucker stall, like a 1041 01:15:42,119 --> 01:15:44,640 truck stop stall, and your call for a good ten Yeah, yeah, 1042 01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:48,279 yeah, that's that type of situation. Uh. One graffiti, uh said, 1043 01:15:48,479 --> 01:15:54,000 uh, well, it's in Latin for it was oh uh, he's 1044 01:15:54,359 --> 01:15:58,239 just says he's the best at linking kunt No, I'm saying in Latin vote 1045 01:15:59,159 --> 01:16:06,239 for a day. That's beautiful. Yeah. Uh. Accusing a man of 1046 01:16:06,399 --> 01:16:12,640 filating another man was arguably the worst insult in Rome. I bet yeah, 1047 01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:15,600 that was. They couldn't do anything worse than that. You can take it 1048 01:16:15,640 --> 01:16:16,760 in the ass, but the minute you suck that dick, well you can't 1049 01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:18,960 take you in the ass either. But it's like, man, it'd be 1050 01:16:19,039 --> 01:16:25,800 one thing if you know he fucked you. But and a lot of the 1051 01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:28,199 reason they thought it was gross as they're like this where pee comes out of, 1052 01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:31,079 but they still fucked butts. It's like don't, I don't, And 1053 01:16:31,199 --> 01:16:33,920 they fucked vaginas well. I can see how because where the p also comes 1054 01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:39,840 out of. The reason is your butt doesn't have teeth but have a but 1055 01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:44,479 your mouth does. So you shouldn't have done that. Yeah, you should 1056 01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:45,439 have fought it off. Well they did say. Part of it was, 1057 01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:50,359 um, you're dishonoring your mouth. That's where your persuasive speech comes from. 1058 01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:54,640 That's where you you know, your thoughts come about. Whatever, How can 1059 01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:58,920 I trust the words of this mouth they had a dick in it or eight 1060 01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:02,159 pussy? Yeah, pretty much yet um and then last but not least, 1061 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:11,199 uh, getting your dick sucked was also seem seen as somewhat laughable because it 1062 01:17:11,319 --> 01:17:15,399 was a preference for older men who had trouble maintaining an erection. Oh, 1063 01:17:15,399 --> 01:17:17,119 like you can't keep it up. You have to want to do that for 1064 01:17:17,159 --> 01:17:20,079 you. Yeah, that's funny. So it was you were kind of a 1065 01:17:20,119 --> 01:17:25,359 book that is not tracked through time. No, no, yeah, that 1066 01:17:25,439 --> 01:17:30,520 didn't didn't hold up so for people who kind of think like you might hear 1067 01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,239 from time to time, Oh, the ancient world was a lot more sexually 1068 01:17:32,359 --> 01:17:39,159 progressive or anything like that, Like maybe for rich men, I guess, 1069 01:17:39,199 --> 01:17:45,800 but not even It was really really just full of even worse double standards rape, 1070 01:17:45,479 --> 01:17:50,000 uh and just insane arbitrary stuff like that you can't get your dick sucked. 1071 01:17:50,159 --> 01:17:55,760 Honestly, it sounds more vanilla in a weird way, in a weird 1072 01:17:55,800 --> 01:18:00,039 way. Yeah, it's just like a different flavor of pre Yeah. Really, 1073 01:18:00,199 --> 01:18:02,800 there's a lot of prudeness in this. It's just it's it's like it's 1074 01:18:03,119 --> 01:18:08,720 odd to say that it's prude to run through everything you own in your house. 1075 01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:12,840 But yeah, like it is in a way like they had arbitrary guidelines 1076 01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:16,960 that if you cross them, you were arguably more socially austrized certainly than you 1077 01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:23,640 are now. M maybe you know, but yeah now today, oh yeah, 1078 01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:30,000 certainly more. Yeah. It's it's weird because it's it's truly prude to 1079 01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:33,000 be like, oh you got your dude, I just castrated a fourteen year 1080 01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:44,039 old to be an adult and right, it's just really bizarre. It's not 1081 01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:46,880 any more progressive or enlightened. I don't think it. I think it's less. 1082 01:18:46,920 --> 01:18:48,960 Actually, it's kind of the backing your way the thing we were talking 1083 01:18:48,960 --> 01:18:51,920 about the other day, where you back your way into the justification of things. 1084 01:18:53,039 --> 01:18:55,560 Yeah, that was probably a lot of that. Yeah. Um, 1085 01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:59,800 but that's all I got for today on eight on again a not a not 1086 01:19:00,159 --> 01:19:05,520 exhaustive list of Roman sexuality facts. Um, but that's what I got. 1087 01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:10,119 Would you boys learned today? I learned the worst nickname of all time, 1088 01:19:10,359 --> 01:19:14,960 sphincter of a world leader. Yeah that is that. It's gotta be sphincter, 1089 01:19:15,479 --> 01:19:17,920 that's it. Yeah. But I learned about the worst fate of a 1090 01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:25,000 man by the name of Sporis. Granted he didn't meet that fate, was 1091 01:19:25,079 --> 01:19:28,600 cool. I learned what you'd do with a time machine, Well, I 1092 01:19:28,600 --> 01:19:31,199 would try to battle through. I'm a gambler at heart. I'm gonna always 1093 01:19:31,199 --> 01:19:35,760 bet the house on Sporis And well, if you kill yourself, you're out 1094 01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:38,920 of the game. So if you kind of go into the arena, you 1095 01:19:38,920 --> 01:19:42,600 go into the coliseum, and you back that ass up, you try to 1096 01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:46,640 survive. Here you're saying there's a chance. I think so right? Cool? 1097 01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:55,000 Who is Hitler? Rome always wrong? Ro It's honestly yeah, krth 1098 01:19:55,039 --> 01:19:57,640 it should have won those wars, just a nightmare. Anibal would have been 1099 01:19:57,640 --> 01:20:01,279 way cooler than Caesar, I think so. Yeah, fair enough. Well 1100 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:05,960 for Jake Goldman and Dan Rochester. That's all I got today on ancient room 1101 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:10,640 and sexuality. Go look into it more of yourself. It's wild. I'm 1102 01:20:10,720 --> 01:20:14,079 rob Hoox. You just got soft served kinda, so get your dick sucked 1103 01:20:14,119 --> 01:20:15,199 to keep it hard like an old man.