The guests arrive. Oh, Marsha, Hey, I got a name for
her. Uh does that have anything to do with Elton John No, no,
no no, but a peer of the eighties music scene. I'm gonna
call her drunk Cindy Lapper. Drunk Cindy Lapper, Okay, dcl because she
looks like Cindy Lauper and I'm pretty sure she's a drunk. Oh wow,
she's also a cancer survivor. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna let that affect
what I call her. Okay, hillo, and welcome to another brands banking
episode of another Blowdeck podcast. My name is Dalan, that's Pat Hey,
good to be here. Permission from the war Grandad? What's up? Oh?
Not much? Can we plug the Hey? What's up? Dude?
Can we plug the interview with Captain Carry yet? I think that comes out
this week. No, let's not plug it yet. Oh okay. Look,
Sea rats, if nothing, are pretty consistent with their behavior except when
they have an alcohol problem, which is ninety percent of them, right.
But I have to tell you watching this episode, I am a super fan
of the Balkan Biscuit. We interviewed her last week. It was an amazing
interview. But as we've come to learn, when Bravo throws us a sea
rat, we know they're either on their way out or they're in some hot
water. In hot water, she's in m Well, she acted like a
lunatic tonight. And I don't like to use that word. Well, no,
I I just unless it applies, but it certainly applies here. She
was a fucking lunatic. Yeah, who the fuck was she? Yeah?
It was like Doctor Jekyl and mister Hyde or something, two different people.
And the most egregious thing that Ellie did all night. Don't make people wait
twenty minutes so that you can put on latex. I mean, you know,
I don't like it when anyone makes people wait because they're getting ready,
but especially not a sea rat for pink customers, I mean, chip chop,
chip chap, get up there and do the thing. There are certain
things, though, Dylan, you'll they're really into it, you know,
And so that's clearly one of her things. So even though it doesn't make
any logical sense to anybody else, it's, oh, oh, I get
it. She likes to wear that thing. Yeah, so that's why,
Yeah, she likes wearing that and listen. I love weird similar outfits,
like I actually like when she was walking, I was like, oh my
gosh, I think I have that at the house. But I don't make
people wait when I'm dressing up in those and what my friends call my silly
little outfits. Okay, oh oh, anyway, so this episode was crazy.
Now, old Patty, you know, I'll openly admit when I was
wrong. I had predicted that Jonah would be and yeah, that's right,
or as Sandy calls him Jonathan. Now she's calling him Jonathan, but she's
been calling him Jonah for like the first three episodes. Yeah, I mean,
when's this woman going to get canceled? I mean it's crazy. Well,
you didn't correct her. Well, anyway, she's participating in erasure language,
you think. So. Yeah, it's when you take someone's name away
from them. Oh wow, Well he should let her know if he took
she took his name away. Yes, I mean how could he let her
know. She's in a room by herself with producers at the Garland fair enough.
Anyway, I thought he was going to get shit canned. Yeah,
he's still around, and I have to say a while. I'll talk about
it later. In the episode. You know, just because someone's steak wasn't
cooked to their preference, that's not a fireable offense in my opinion. But
he's uh, he could be fired at any moment. So yeah, I
know. And and the cook on the steak wasn't the problem. Look,
the problem was that it looked like it had been boiled in milk and there
was no seer on the steak whatsoever, and it looked like it was gray,
and it looked like Okay, so you know, there are and we'll
get back to your thoughts are but so there are delivery traps that deliver all
this meat to all these places like grocery stores and whatnot. And if a
ribbi fell off the truck and just sat on Venture Boulevard for like two hours
there, that's what it would look like. You know, it's just a
kind of grade overcooked piece of ribbi. But how many episodes do you give
it? Oh? How any pots do I get it? Yeah? You
know what it was an okay episode, but this you know, this season,
it's not usually it's around episode five, six seven that things get to
start getting interesting and the things aren't happening yet. But that's Okay, we
still got plenty of season ago. I'm gonna rate it thirty knots okay,
a lot of crazy stuff. And as you mentioned, we should know this
and we do know it. But every time Bravo gives us a sea rat,
what will pass will be inevitable. And mean, I mean, these
people either, like you said, they either kill people, they get fired,
they you know, they fight, they fuck. I mean, you
know something, you know deplorable, And that's what happened with Ellie tonight.
I mean, listen, cheese is cheese is cheese. Okay, what cheese
is is kind of useless but also so scrumptious, and so you know,
you know, she's a little rat that stole thing too out from under elli
sheet. But I mean, you didn't steal anybody, She didn't steal anybody.
And for Ellie to dress cheese down into belittle cheese and to do the
things that she did to cheese, it was just completely uncalled for because cheese
is so scrumptious. She's such a scramptious little penguin. And also the dynamic
between Nathan and Joe Thing one and Thing two with their new roommate was hilarious.
Because well, it's always the mark of a gentleman. A girl is
U doesn't have a place to sleep, and you say, you know what,
you can sleep in my room on the floor. Yeah, you know
what. I'm really sorry that my the beido put you out. You can
have my floor if you want. It is a gentleman's move. Lots of
stuff to get into four pots. Okay, can you take it away?
Sure. Let's begin the episode with bre telling thing one or thing two think
two, telling Joe that she'd like to give him a blow. Drop there
you go. I know that's the sound of her dad jumping off a bill
ding. That's right, And that's not right because let me tell you something,
she's a goddamn mature adult and if she wants to blow a dude,
yeah, that's her goddamn prerogative. Hell yeah. And he would probably say
the reason he hurled himself off a four story building is she did it on
TV. And listen, like, I'm amazed that anybody wants to blow anybody,
you know, I mean, what a loving thing to do for somebody,
Dylan, I'm so glad you brought that up. Yeah, because Joe's
response to that is hell yeah, let's head back to the boat. Yeah
sure. Now I want to say this, there are a few things on
earth that get a man to react universally positive to something Hawk tour you're talking
about. I'd say offering a dude a blow job. It's about one hundred
percent positive. Oh yeah, oh absolutely, Let's try it experiment. Hey,
honey, would you like to have a dinner with that Henderson's next week?
I hate the Henderson's. They are way too pious and I don't like
they don't even curse, and they look at me what I say, Oh
god, They're like, please don't say his name like that, and it's
so weird and they have red eyes. Let's try it out. Oh can
I suck your dick while I? Uh yeah. What I thought you were
gonna do was go, do you want to have dinner with the Henderson's?
Okay, yeah, Do you want to go have dinner with the Henderson's and
after I'll give you a blowd job? What would the answer being, Ah,
yeah, yeah, I think my joke was better. No, no,
no, I know, I know it, but it is really crazy.
And I understand that it's a job, right, It's literally called a
job, and what I want to suck at a dick. Not really,
you know, it depends on who it is. But to think that if
you could just make that small sacrifice, men will literally turn into Tappy ooka
putting. I mean, we'll do whatever you want, but then we'll get
tired and we'll want to graduate to something even more depraved, something like blood
play. And you know that's not a fun dynamic for anybody, So you
know, just keep it rare and keep it good. What the fuck happens
next? Well, we go in those vans and they're a hive of deviancy.
Dylan, Nathan is banging seeing in the chair. Hermit's asking the bolt
and Biscuit inappropriate questions. Yeah, and Gail, who loves her boyfriend,
texts her boyfriend who she loves, about how she loves him and resented Zim.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I think her and her and
her boyfriend are gonna be on the rocks. And by that, I mean
she's gonna bang Nathan because uh, Sammy the Bull was more loyal. Oh
yeah, and Samy the Bowl was very loyal. No no until no,
no, no, He's like, listen, you and my brother till the
end, and I'm sorry I got to kill you right now, but I'm
doing it because I'm loyal. He was loyal to uh La, Cosa and
Ostra, the cause, the neighborhood. Okay, so don't you dare speak
like that ever again. We get back to the boat. Everyone's ready to
cuz except for Lambeau in the Balkan Biscuit Ellie. We get the cars.
You know, she uses the cars quite a bit. Ellie tells us if
Joe wants to have sex with her, he's going to need to take her
out to dinner. So clearly she's unaware that dinner's not needed with brief for
that. Well, no, she is the beal. She's a big,
big thing of cheese. Well also, but to keep the analogy of cars
going, why buy a Lamborghini when you can drive a Mazda and it will
blow you? Yeah, dude, would anybody ever drive a Lamborghini if Mazda
came out with a car that blows you? I like where you're going with
this, but I don't think that's Masta. I think that's up Elon's ally
there. Okay, So while the sea rats are up in the body of
water and we've talked about how important this liquid is really season after season after
season in order for sea rats to turn into snakes that kind of oos out
there. You know how snakes have sex? How do they do it?
So this thing kind of it secretes. It's yeah, it's a secretion.
It's like this little cup that comes out of the side of the snake.
The side, yeah, the side, maybe the belly, but I think
it's the side. And then another person. I'd love that if I was
a human. Yeah. No, one kicks me between the legs, calls
me a dick. I'm like, you, miss motherfucker right right right,
dicks on my hip. Well, so, so okay, the way that
it works with snakes is that so one guy rolls up, another person rolls
up, and then they just suction cup each other, right, and then
the seed is pumped between the things. And in order for that to happen
with the sea rats, we need a warm body of water. The ball
of snakes are all of snakes. They need to thrash, they need to
bite, and they need to fuck in that water. Okay, so the
coups is very important and we get our first birth of this kind of hedonism.
This evening between Thing two and cheese. But before we get to that,
Gail remains in the bed texting her boyfriend who she loves, and I'm
not even sure. I was very confused with what's going on. I mean,
it's a very kind of arrested development bit to say that she's just trying
to break up with her boyfriend. Okay, while she's saying I love you
to him, But did they get into a fight, did he do anything
wrong? Okay? So some I don't know if she's putting this out here
out there, but apparently he's being a dick to her. I haven't seen
it through the correspondence that the below Deck production is. No you would think
that we would see it, right, But apparently he's not treating her well
at this point, and so she's pulling away from him. But she's kind
of torn. But you know, if we're not seeing on our televisions,
we need to evaluate what we're seeing in real time as we watch the program.
Yeah, well, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like
a duck, it's probably a girl who's trying to get out of a relationship
so she can have sexual thing one. So eventually people had down as thing
one and Cheezer wanted to tear into one another. Gail checks out various ass
sizes of the men Ian does have Nathan Beet in that department? Ian's got
a very round took us something that I envy. My ass is just getting.
I mean, there's there's just nothing to write home about with my ass,
you know what I mean? I mean, do you ever grab your
ass and just go there's just nothing here? Not this week? You know,
I want I want something strong and I want a handful as a dude,
Yeah, what do you need that for? Well, I mean it's
the seat of all power. So Cheese and Joe eventually do the dirty work.
Do they really know? It's just a top let's make out. It's
a topless makeout sash and Gail knows that she wants to put a relationship first,
but her boyfriend is pushing her are away from him, and she says
that Nathan is always there for her. Do you mean he's always there?
Okay, so this is, uh, what are you talking about? So
this is definitely a characteristic of a sea rat. Yeah, which is they
graft a lot of stuff on a new person that they're all up with yeah,
but in reality, you don't know this person. No, I mean,
what is Nathan King Arthur all of a sudden is he? Is he
Ryan Gosling? Is your boyfriend James Marsden? And is he Ryan Gosling?
Because you don't know this guy at all. I mean he's a he's a
sea rat from the north of England. I mean he's a wealthy drunk with
it'd be an eagle tattooed across his chest. He's got no ass and you
don't know who he is. So I don't know why you're falling in love
so quickly. Well any port in a storm and also all's fair and love
and sea rats. Next morning, Ellie and Sheese have an awkward conversation.
Ellie says, did you have sex? And Ellie says not saying anything more,
which is a kind of a vicious ambiguous thing to say, because now
Ellie's spiraling right. Yes, But we move on to Asha laughing at something
very hard. But I couldn't understand what Asha said. You know that part
where she was talking about the eyebrows of the lips. I think so she
just busts herself up. And I love when Asha's laughing because Asia has just
I mean, if the vibes on that one, she's just got amazing vibes
and she's just having such a good time. She's just a kiwi busting herself
up. But I can't understand her. You know, that's why the audience
loves her. You know, she's just a ball of positive fun energy.
It talks like Kermit, She's like, oh am, I God, I
got glass in mind. It's like, how you have the best vibes?
Yeah. Yeah, So Kermit talks to Gail about Ellie and she believes playing
hard to get is not gonna work. She recommends a more measured approach,
like sitting on his face. Yeah, we're saying, I'll give you a
blood drop. That's right now. Kurb's pretty smart. She should be our
secretary of defense or I don't solve world peace or I don't know. It's
a pretty bright girl. Should be a better secretary of defense than down all
the Urhams found. Yeah. So JOHNO takes a call about Doubt, and
just as he's speaking about this, Sandy gets a text with a backup chef
and calls him Jonathan. Let's get to the pre friend shape man egg he's
gonna be Britney Brown or former model from Tampa. That's he didn't know they
came from there. Trischelle will be joining as well. Johno goes to a
laundry list of dislikes and once again we've got this reality show captain character wanting
to they want that person to renew their valos. Yeah, we get to
the nighttimetime genuine Gail had a fight with her boyfriend. Like we mentioned,
I mean, I'm just not seeing this in the show. I don't see
this in the texts. I'm very confused about this, which leads me to
think that she's just kind of mementoing this entire thing and trying to come up
with some reason to break up with her boyfriend so that she can slam into
thing one. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling too. Yeah,
I can't. It doesn't make any goddamn sense. There's no heads and there's
no tails. Now, Ellie and Bray sit down for a chat and this
is when Ellie lets her have it. Apparently bre broke girl coat and it
was a snake move. Now, I'm just gonna say this. I like
Ellie. She's in nice person, super smart, love Alli I'd let her
be my friend, but in this moment, you sound like a goddamn lunatic.
There's that word, yeah, Ellie. It's just too mean coming from
Ellie. And we we know Ellie. Ellie's very nice, Elle's very sweet,
and she got a great perspective on life. I think that, you
know, the only thing I can think of, the only explanation that I
can possibly think of as to why Ellie would have lost her bide like this,
because she's absolutely out of her heels in love with him too. She
wants to marry thing too and have babies with him. So when she comes
in and she takes away her future husband, then I'd be really upset too.
But no, I mean, if that's not the case, then it's
just Ellie having a bad day. You know, well it's been a bad
couple of days, because it doesn't stop here. If it ended here,
I'd understand it's just some irritation over Hey, I kind of mentioned that I
kind of like this guy, and look what you're doing. But you know
what, an hour or two later, Hey, let it go. You
know, maybe I you know, I apologize, but he doesn't do that.
Now. I hope that and We've had this happen with sea rats in
the past, you know where we we call them lunatics right after we have
good experience. Oh is this one? We're going to get some dms tomorrow.
Well, we're supposed to, you know. I'm really looking forward to
having the Balkan Biscuit in studio to talk about the Balkans. I just want
to talk about the Balkans. I just want a history on the region.
Why is it so beautiful and also so sad? You know what I mean.
I think we'll get that chance because I think she's got a pretty good
sense of humor about Oh, just don't try and fuck the guy that she's
into. Okay, yeah, no, I can do that. I'm married
to a woman, That's what I'm saying. Now. Bre goes to Joe
and she lets him know she may have lost a friend today and it might
have been over him. And then Joe says, did she mention anything about
giving me a blowjob or anything like a rim job or both or whatever?
And uh, and She's like, no, here you be Jobby Cheese.
I'm Joel. Yeah, okay, okay, I'll start hello. Oh is
this you trying to get my room. Yeah, Oh, hey, what's
up? I'm really worried. O. What's why? Well, I think
that I might have made a mistake and that my friendship's in jeopardy. O
Ellie. I think she was really into you. I think that she mentioned
that when we hooked up that it really have feelings because she's really wanted to
Yeah, she's really into you. And she said something about like I wanted
to marry you and can I sleep put on your floor? Absolutely? Yeah,
dude, we It's crazy how over the years we've gotten better at improving.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like, hey, Thomas middle Diitch, put
your controller down and come listen to this podcast if you want to figure out
how to do fucking improv? Who needs Amy Poehler and Mett Walsh when you've
got us? I agree? I mean, do you know where that went?
No? Way that came? Yeah, it's crazy? All right?
Can we jump to next morning? So bad? I'm so sorry. Next
morning, Brie sleeps in Joe's real the floor and the boys proceed to mock
her and also care for that was Ian is called up to the bridge and
Sandy says, keep your shit tight. Now. Ellie says that she doesn't
have any compassion for cheese. This is where Ellie's got to take it easy
a little bit, okay, because Ellie is she's going to turn out of
favor with the fans if she's too violent towards cheese. Nobody's a big I
don't think anybody's a massive fan of cheese. You know, we don't know
cheese well enough to be a fan of hers. So if you're going to
come after her in a rather aggressive way, people are automatically going to have
some kind of thing to love cheese and not like you a bad And that's
just an under story. You know. People love rooting for an underdog.
That's why so many people love Zelenski. That's right. Yeah, well,
you know I agree with everything you just yeah yeah yeah. Also yeah,
I'm gonna stick to my thoughts and notts where I brought up. This is
literally doctor Jekyl, miss uh missus h. I haven't I haven't seen an
arc this turn this quick ever on this show, basically from a good guy
to a villain instantaneously, She's completely unlikable. Oh my god. Okay,
so Asha has class in the thumb. Sandy says, let's just have your
head out to shore. We're gonna cut your thumb up and won't get govern.
It's like, sorry, what did you say? You're gonna cut my
fucking thungube out? I can't even talk. I'm so nauseous that it's gross.
One time, I I I don't know where I was, but I
was walking around with my bare feet in the water or something. And then
I'm like the next couple weeks, like every every time I put my foot
down it hurts. But you know, I didn't come from a place where
you could complain about, you know, pain, right, And it turns
out I had a rock in my foot and it was in there so long
the skin had sealed over it. There was a rock in my foot.
Yeah, I mean more of a pebble, you know. Anyway, Dylan,
if you don't mind, let me digress. You imagine a big rock
being in your foot and I don't have to I lived it. Well,
it was a pebble, but it wasn't a rock. I mean a rock,
you know that would be so weird. Fucking Christ couldn't put any shoes,
that's right. My air Jordans don't fit. Yeah, yeah, no,
I mean that thought. I mean this is why people have dunk out
of the doctor because it's like, so I've talked about it before, I
can't breathe right, and people are like, oh, we got to go
get an allergy test and you got to have your nose broken and get a
DVA tapped him check out, and I'm like, I don't want to do
any of that. I'd rather or just have glass in my face for the
rest of my life and breathe bad. I'm not gonna go get my nose
broken. I don't go to the doctor because I never I don't like bat
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's never good. It's like everything's great.
It's always like you stop eating French fries or something or worse. Yeah,
I don't want to hear that, so I'll just die on my own.
Yea blissfully unaware. Yeah, you got a life insurance policy. That's all
you need. That's what I told you. I don't care because remember last
year, you're like, hey, you're breathing weird. You got all these
bruises on your chest. Turns out it was alcoholism, but I didn't know
at the time, and so you're like, go see a doctor, and
I was like, hey, I got I got a million. Yeah,
because when Pat is really drunk, he turns into Batman at night and he
completely blacks out and he goes and he fights crimes. I was like,
what's up with all these bruises all over you? And then it turns out
they put in a nest and Pat was running out fighting homeless people in some
kind of ramshackle batman costume. Yeah all right, let me back up for
a second. Did you how many homeless people did you kill? Never?
I never would kill a home, would never do that. No, No,
they're in house u Ian, and they're people. That's right. Ian
meets with his team and he considers himself a tony Robbins of sea rats.
You could be confused as to whether or not they are people or not,
because their hands hang sometimes in a way that is more vine than arm,
and their eyes are kind of is fixed to the floor but really nowhere.
At the same time, well, they're looking for a crack Patrick. Come
on, what happens to next? Let's talk about tropical smoothie. Oh yeah,
no, I'm kidding. We can't do that going into it at Okay,
let's see. I do have to ask did you ask smoke any weird
before we started. No, I didn't. Okay, well I was gonna
say sorry that he like our patrons are like Dylan was way too high on
this one. I'm like, I didn't smoke any pots, So that's what
happens when I don't smoke. So I need the stuff. It's a regulatory
thing, right, Well, all that before we move on here. I
guess this is really important because I didn't notice about Ian. He meets with
his team and he considers himself the Tony Robbins of sea rats, and rather
than shoot for super high possibilities of the human condition, he asks his team
to try not to kill anyone. This charter is that what expectation does Tony
Robbins do? Like high condition of human achievement stuff. It's just like,
you know, trying to achieve all possibilities of your worth. Yeah? Oh
I think so. Yeah. I really like him. Really regretful that I
didn't get on like repurposing like kind of like broad platitudes and charging people thousands
of dollars for that. I think he would have been awful at that.
I fuck you, I think I would have been great at it. Watch
this tell me a problem? You have. I don't think my wife loves
me anymore. Oh yeah, provisions arriving. Yes, Ellie lets Breo to
not override her because remember Kermit's at the hospital at this goddamn point, and
bre pushes back and tells Kermit is her superior, and she dresses her down
in the laundry room. Well, and I can't believe a guy named Joe
started this war. But this is when things start going off the rails.
And normally provision showing up is just a bunch of b roll in the blowdeck.
Provisions are boring, They're boring, but not here they make use out
of it to create some drama. Yeah, hell yeah. And Ellie flips
out over this. And this is where Ellie, you know, Ellie's heartbroken,
so she's lashing out. But this is something where Ellie's gonna put on
a Tony Robbins podcast or something like that. You gotta get control of your
insecurities, not let them kind of turn you into a terminator, you know,
which is or a villain, which is what she does to poor Cheese.
Now she tells Ellie or she tells Cheese to clean out rotten citrus,
which was something that Asha did not tell them to do. Ellie just used
this opportunity to give Cheese a command, and Cheese far as back. This
is not this is not my purview right now, Okay, I was not
told to Cheese to cheese out rotten citrus. Okay, and the war escalates.
Now Ellie and Cheese both bent to Johnoh and Sandy overhears this. Oh
yes, I wondered how she overheard it. Well, she's got a time
share, that's right, Patrick. If you don't go at least a couple
of times a year, there's really no point. But Sandy's Sandy falls in
love with Cheese here because Cheese is presents as sensitive, scrumptious. I mean,
she's an adorable little cheese. She's like a little baby bell. But
the thing that Sandy loves the most about this moment is that she says,
I'm gonna talk to Asha about it as long as Cheese is not kind of
unwrapping her wax with Sandy. Sandy loves her, that's right, right,
She's like, I love that you're gonna go to your superior. If I
need to hear about it, I'll hear about it. Okay. So,
speaking of Asha, she returns and is excited about her stitches. That is
so kermit of her. Imagine Donald Rumsfeldt getting back to the beat with a
wound like that. It would have been so crappy. But listen, let's
talk about Tropical Smoothie cat That. It is an amazing place. They have
over fourteen hundred locations. They have an app. You can use the app.
You can use promo code bad TV to get stuff from said store.
Okay, every day is vacation if you go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe every day.
Now, you don't need to vacation every day. You can just go
a couple times a week. Yeah yeah, I mean, why take the
kids to the beach when you just go to one of their fourteen hundred locations
and get amazing smoothie. Yeah. Tropical smooth Cafe doesn't have any sand,
that's right? Okay? Yeah? And who likes that on your feet?
You track it in your car? Right? Sand everywhere? How about the
saltwater? How about that sun burning your damn face all day while you're sitting
out there? Who wants that? Nope, you'll get all leathery yep,
one time? I who wants to go to the beach is a little kid
and have a woman trip on you and then fall on top of you and
two inches of salt water and rub your skin as a rash. That doesn't
happen at one of their locations. Okay, Now, there's no brawling,
there's no fighting, there's no nothing that happens at Tropical sh lllegal fireworks.
You kids set them off. The ceilings do though, and the ceilings are
very high in Tropical Smoothie cafes. But you know there are regulatory codes.
I mean, they can't be like an assistin chapel. I mean even could
you imagine trying to light off a firework, even in a place with ceilings
out on. What we're trying to say is that they have the best smoothies.
There's manga, there's clava, there's mohitos. Oh there. Okay,
So go to one of the over fourteen hundred plus locations. Oh you took
one of those? Or use the app and use promo code bad TV.
We love Tropical smooth Cafe. They're proud sponsored to the show. My daughter's
asked to go there every weekend now, so I gotta do that. Well,
Ah's got good taste yes she does. That's fine. Let's get back
to the show. So the guests arrive. Oh, Marcia, hey,
I got a name for her. Does that have anything to do with Elton
John No, no, no, no, but a peer of the eighties
music scene. I'm gonna call her Drunk Cyndy Lapper drunk okay, DCL because
she looks like Sandy Lauper and I'm pretty sure she's a drunk. Oh wow,
she's also a cancer survivor. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna let that
affect what I call her. Okay, yeah, oh my bad. What
a fucking idiot. I am thinking that that would change anything, But yeah,
I just wanted to get that out there. Let's go, yo.
Sandy says, we do a model walk with the primary and Martha, and
then we get to luncheon and sushi skills are pretty okay, He says,
he's just gonna pull from his architecture background, pull from uh, the culinary
world. Okay. We're not building fucking a house of cards here, We're
making sushi, all right. Yeah. I don't know did you mention that
Sandy visits him or is that how that conversation went, because she also says,
hey, hey, yay, you did it in the first shotter,
the one that had fourteen year olds advice. Yeah, no chicken, okay,
all right, you serve chicken, will cut you. Okay. So
Gala and Nathan. Nathan is really really good at his job, and here
we have the seed. Now let me tell you something about this. Yeah,
you ever go to a restaurant and this is before we were married.
Yeah, into restaurants in a server. It's just really good. You're watching
someone hustle, jump around, jump around. Something really sexy about that?
Okay, you don't think so. If they're sexy, well it makes them
sexy. Someone that's confident in their position. Really really, No, you've
never seen Well, I have a f I follow why women fuck pool guys?
Dude, Well, no women, No women fuck pool guys because they
are in a marriage that's a void of any emotion. But I follow a
Okay, yeah, that was funny. I follow a guy who owns a
deli in Hoboken. That guy flies around his counter mm hmm. To see
him as a site to behold, the way he treats his customers, the
way he treats his regulars, the way he he's brought so much joy being
in his shop, and when you see him work, it's something truly.
Yeah, you know, if you were a female, do I think that
he's sexy. He's a big phata Talian guy with hair on his back.
I mean you can see it poking out of the top rim of his shirt
when he's chopping up chicken cutlet. And that's a gross site to me,
but maybe sexy to sell. No, he smells like fucking peppers and chicken
cutlets. I mean it's not sexy. Those are the pheromones coming out of
the Oh wow, yeah, women are into it, I'm telling you.
Oh really, I didn't know that. Yeah, oh okay. Uh and
Gail's watching this dude run around here and work the boat and uh that's the
turn on. Hmmm are you saying that? Like? Are you Are you
saying that women think that we're sexy because we're so good at podcasting. I
think some find it is sexy as Wow, that's so cool. You're saying
that women see us like that guy in that deli shot that smells like pepperoni
because we're so good at our job. I think it's hot. Wow,
that's really cool. All right, let's wrap up the episode. Enough nonsense.
Lunch is sushi, cold noodle, sala tuna tartar with avocado and pron
tempora. Lovely lunch from the architect ninety pots. We've got shackle Gate.
I don't know what happens with Shackles. I don't know. It's like,
what are we even talking about here? Nobody knows what's happening with the shack
That was confusing. Normally I can track what the fuck is happening with a
fuck up on with the decas, not with Shackles. It's all underwater and
we don't know what it is up top either, So you know, miss
me with the bullshit. We get ready for the Greek fiesta. Everyone's tugged
out for the vow renewal. We've got a three time survivor of breast cancer.
Sandy is a cancer survivor too. This is actually a really lovely moment
from the show. It's a beautiful ceremony that's very quickly. It was lovely.
Deugh, we learned drunk Cindy Lauper cancer. Yeah, but the sacred
ceremony. I was wondering if anybody had the same problem that I did reading
it. Off your iPhone, and I thought it was a bit tacky.
Oh yeah, it's tacky. Okay, let's get let's commit it to memory.
There, Santa. So I thought that Jana was checking oysters like an
otter. I think he was just getting the krusties off of them. But
we get to dinner, it's gonna be caviar and oysters to start. I
mean that always pops off and then we get another stardust plating from Johno.
So what was the stardust? Again? Remind me if you've mentioned this before.
Was that salt? I don't know what the fuck it is. It
might be pulverized beetroot. I don't know what the fuck it is. But
listen, I think Johno's Jonah's a fun guy, you know. I don't
think that there's anything that we can say about his character or you know,
his spine it's acrid or otherwise. But to just throw shit on a plate
like this, like somebody like it says though this man is about to climb
el copy tan or something. He's throwing chalk on plates. It's like the
grand finale of a Chris Angel show. Every time he whips up some plate
and it's like, you don't need to do that. It looks like absolute
poop, but it is gonna be surf and turf. The steak has no
seer. As we mentioned, it looks like it was left out on a
hot boulevard, and the guest thinks that it is overcooked the primary most important.
Now, dessert can save the day. It's a very cheesecake with white
chocolate ganache. And dinner goes well enough, you know, Sandy calls him
Jonathan again, and we get to a fashion show sixty pot dinner. But
now Ellie is very late to this, and Asha is pissed. She says,
Ellie, the guests are more important than your only fans career. I
don't think I've ever heard Asha genuinely say anything that nasty to anybody. I
mean, she was really warnery. Yeah, and it was deservedly so deservedly
so that goddamn playboy cost him? Why and why the rave hair? Sorry?
What's rave hair? The rave hair? What's that? Uh? Yeah,
it looks weird? Okay, all right? So Kermit finally gets up
there, and she's really late, and I was wondering, and then as
I was like thinking, like, what the hell's going on here does she
realize Hugh Heffner's dead. He's not on the boat, he's dead, And
I think his legacies and jeopardy, you know, I I've talked about on
my show PMS. He fucked a dog, he had sex with a dog.
Yeah, so I don't think she needs to really focus. Yeah,
you did a whole reenactment where you pretended to be Hugh Haffner and then you
pulled up a YouTube video of a German shepherd barking. You don't need to
do it right now. Oh no, I didn't do that, No,
no, no, this was when Hugh he would you like to have some
wine? Okay, all right, yeah we do. We don't. We
don't under to do that because it's a tough thing to listen to, because
that's the sound of a dog that doesn't want to be raped. That's exactly
what's happening. But yeah, so his legacy is tarnished for that. And
even though he's not on the boat. You know who is the Patrick Ohl?
No? That is that a drug city, love city? Right?
And if you're going to show off for anybody, it might as well be
d c L. Now. I do think that Asha was spot on when
she said this, Marcia Martha is like a modeling coach or a scouter.
So I think Ellie was trying to throw it around a little. That's right.
She wanted a modeling contract. So we get to the nighttime. Nighttime
Cheese is sleeping once again in the boys cabin. They're very cool with this
kind of Ellie is so pissed. Oh yeah, the cheese is making her
out to be a villain. And I've been there before, you know,
it's it's tough for Ellie to wrap her head around who cheese is. When
you go into what I agree, I like when you call her cheese too,
it's funny. She's spiraling, right, So she's going this fucking bitch,
right, Is Cheese scared of me? Is she genuinely scared of me?
No? Probably not. She's probably a little red faced bitch who's trying
to make this a thing that it needs. And yes, she is correct.
You kind of waffle between all of these different cheese made dramatize this a
little bit. She because they were joking and laughing earlier as she was putting
that ridiculous play pointsmon so right there, when you can laugh with someone,
you can put things behind you. So clearly this was a move of Cheese
to yes, little baby Bell turns it up the next day as well,
when you know, this was when I kind of perked an eyebrow up and
I said, maybe the Balkan Biscuit isn't overreacting because she says, you were
belittling to me when you were training me. Hey, Cheese, you were
dead on arrival. Okay, you didn't know how to push a button.
So let's not spin this into Ellie was belittling you. To be fair to
look, I don't want the audience to think. In my when I was
watching it, it felt like Ellie was saying, you're still here because I
helped you along. It's true. It may be true, but that's throwing
it in someone's face. And her retort to that, I think is it
was belit alned Perhaps all right, we'll get in the comments. Let us
know if it stars kind words. Oh, I said, I was going
to read a review. Oh nice, a good one, whichever one I
pick? You know? Correct? Do you want to vamp a little bit?
Oh? Sure? How else? Can you? Oh? Go to
the ten dollars tier Old Patty does a PMZ a couple times a month.
It is ninety nine pots, Cosmo one two, three, four five Love
Dylan and Patt. It's become my favorite podcast. That's a really good one.
Is that new? Yeah? Yeah? Love this podcast from Bumfy.
This podcast is one of my favorites. Every time there's a new episode,
I get that excited feeling knowing that my work day just got a little happier.
Oh my god. I love the guys. Takes on all the shenanigans
that go on and wholeheartedly agree with their stands most of the time. Very
good podcast. Keep up the good work. That is so sweet. Thank
you very much for leaving those reviews, Bumpy. If you leave a review,
we will read it. Oh wow, there's a there's a two star.
Oh well, we don't need to read that one. The bby comments.
Let's let's keep it positive. I think, oh my gosh, have
you seen this one about Israel? That's hilarious. All right. Join us
at patreon dot com slash another podcast network. We love you guys very much.
I'm Dylan, Say goodbye, Pat say goodbye later. It did.
It was the sta