And it's already such an impersonal mad quite the control over in Italia. I
see her as a very self empowered person, and I'm shocked by the control.
We'll talk about an Italian later on the episode. I am here with
her because she's slotting into one of my least favorite archetypes, the Oh my
gosh, you'll never believe this new detail about my toxic relationship. Oh my
god, you'll never believe how little I give a fuck about this new detail
about your toxic relationship. Hi. Hello, welcome to another brand spanking new
episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up
next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Hey handsome, Hey,
great to see you, cutie. Thank you. You know I'm a
little run down right now, but I thought you weren't gonna say anything cute
back to me, you know. I did you want to talk? You
want to get into it? Oh? Yeah, you doan want me to
talk? Yeah? Okay, yeah. I want to thank everybody who left
us amazing reviews. Oh, thank you so much, and also the I
really really big thank you to all the barnacles that went over there to that
Reddit threat. Oh I don't even want to pay it any mind. We
really shouldn't, oh my gosh, but yes, uh the the the overriding
message here is that as the show grows, we get more support from you,
and doesn't it just warm our little our butts? Doesn't it just warm
our little hearts and our butts? Right up? We can't thank you guys
up for the support and be cut to show you how much it means to
our little butts. I want to read a couple of reviews that we've gotten
lately, like this from lux Los Angeles. Omg, it was Luca five
stars, Luca and Laura. Hello, I'm not even sure what that means.
Well, you know what it means, I asked the audience last week,
I said, yeah, I was doing a bit. Oh. This
one from Rob Lanier one hundred and two pots that if your keeping track is
even more pots than is possible. So that's pretty that just that warms us
up. Tomb Raider made out with Luca. I'm not even sure what that
is about, but we can't thank you enough for that honesty, humor and
m ellipses. I enjoy listening on my drives to and from work, making
me actually laugh out loud alone in my car. The banter is entertaining and
the guys give great insight into the show. I mean, listen, who
wants to sit here and read positive reviews all day? You know? Come
come one, come on, leave us a one star so we can mix
it up. Yeah, come on, come on do it? No?
No, all right? So other public services, Yes, winter House covering
Winterhouse, which has six Sea rats on it. Our coverage for that generally
drops on Wednesday, So two days after you're hearing this, just check out
the feed. A recap of episode two of season three of Winter House will
be there for you. And we're doing it with one of my favorite people
on the planet, Ruby Red. Yeah, Papya Do Girl is joining us
for the whole season. Also patroon dot com, Slash another podcast network for
another podcast show, and PMZ. Matthew Perry is dead, Rest in peace,
very sad. Pat's called it for sometime and it's crazy because if you're
on Patreon you will have heard Pat say, I swear to God a couple
of weeks. This guy's going to be in a jacuzzi and someone's gonna find
and it's crazy, like the Nostradamus of horror. This guy, I want
it to happen. I know you don't want this burden, but when you
see into things, you see into things. That's it. Another public service
announcement. We were supposed to do a live meetup for our twelve Tier members
today. Unfortunately, we booked a c red interview. You know how rare
those are. We will be dropping that later this week. We sat down
with the Filthy scouser himself, Jack Chef. Jack had a great time.
Talked about food, talked about chip Buddies, we talked about Lord of the
Rings, we talked about in Italian Toomy. It was an amazing interview.
So we will update the twelve dollar tier members. We know we owe you
a live meetup. We will do it next week. We love you so
much. Sorry we haven't done one in a while, but it's going to
be great this next one. Okay, we have to get into the show,
yes, man to go for us. Don't be too Debbie Downer.
You know how much I love this show. Chill love it. But when
we get an episode like this, you know, my little butt just sinks
a little bit, you know what I mean. It's just hard Dylan,
you know what, this was what I call a character a character development episode.
Yeah, okay, not a lot happens, but it's the little things
that you pick up that kind of helps you kind of understand the various cast
members of the television show. I don't agree. Now, listen, this
is the problem. I Orby's a lovely guy, and I'm glad that he's
not hitting the bottle as hard as he used to. He's rained it in
a little bit. As you mentioned a couple of episodes. Kids will do
that to you or they won't. That's true, But let's just go ahead
and ban children from this show in perpetuity. I mean, the only kind
of children I want are future arsonists. Okay, people that are going you
can see the evil in their eye, and they're going to provide entertainment.
But we really have no use or utility for just nice families coming on this
show anymore. I mean, it's a stinky Let me add to this.
I know this is your thoughts and us. Yeah, not only do we
have just the little crumb crunches or would they call them crotch targets or I
forgot what Haley said something very dispassing yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get
to that. We also then utilize the time of a precious sea rat for
the entire charter. Okay, Natalia was running around with her head caught off.
She's supposed to be pulling Luca into that laundry room and making out with
him. Instead, you know, she's making pizzas with four year olds.
Yeah, and we talked about the state of those pizzas with Jack. They
were disgusting, but we'll talk about them later. The other thing that was
really bizarre about this show. I mean, the pieces looked like shit,
but well, the other thing that was really bizarre about the show was some
of the most and all sea rat histories. They're very binary. They either
are sleep inducingly boring or are some of the most terrific things you've ever heard
of human being go through. Can I say something to Night? We had
the former and lots of them. Okay, Dylan, I've created a new
scale. Yeah, it's called the Sea Rat Sad Scale srssset SRSS creating system.
That's how we're going to be able to rate the sea rat history the
c rat What the c rat SAD scale like? How sad is it?
Okay, let's just call it the the CRS scale, Yeah, because you
tack ss on it. You know, it's not just not a good time
for that, those two letters to follow one another, you know what I
mean? You know what I mean? So the c rat, the SRS
scale, the sad scale. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, Yeah.
There was a lot of mediocre sea rat stories. My mom's the reason
I have a go go go attitude. What do we what are we doing?
Also completely forgot that Ann was on this show. It's just insane that
Ann is on this two pots, two pots. That's your lowest rating of
the season, I probably, yeah, okay, Well, Dylan, Like
in most episodes of Tsion, they always saved the last five minutes for all
the good stuff. You know. I hated the show Walking Dead, but
they'd always fool me because a beloved character in the last five minutes to be
a cliffhanger. Did a zombie bite him and eat him? No? And
then I'd show up the next week and it would be people talking while walking
through the woods, which I later dubbed that show to be called Yeah.
And then at the tail end, my beloved cast members would be in jeopardy
and then I'd have to tune in next week. But you know what,
after season six, I said, go fuck yourself. Oh oh, okay,
that is that is quite a funny. So you said, this show
is not called the Walking Dead, it's the Walking through Woods. While talking,
Oh well, okay, so anyway, you hear that, Frank Derebant,
you fucking hack. They fired him after the first season. That's why
the show sucked. Anyway, Okay, So I loved Finally Luca and Natalia.
It was too hot. They couldn't They had to hook up. And
just as they're about to hook up, forgive me to give the spoilers away
if you haven't watched the uppisode, we get a phone call from AJ and
Natalia says, I'm gonna pick it up. Yeah, what I know.
I call for youth in Asia often too often. I hate this guy so
much. I mean, I just really do not think that he's a good
person, and I think he's one of these people that is immune from any
kind of repercussion really at all. But I do think that he should be
jailed. They'll catch up with him eventually. If you don't think he didn't
make his way over to that Epstein isle at some point in the last ten
years. But you're out of your mind. I don't want him thrown in
one of these Bernie madeoff joints. I want him in Abu Grabe or something,
you know. I want true horror done to this man. He's a
horrible person and a scumbag. Fucking I'm getting hot. This is supposed to
be a fun show. Okay, how many punds do you give? It?
All? Right? So a couple other fun stuff here. We got
to see Hayley's hates. Everyone should have a list of things they dislike.
I thought, it's like, what's something that you dislike? Something I dislike?
I don't like lines, get anxiety. That's a good example. Yeah,
she said, ant eater. We'll get to that. Who hates an
eaters? Who hates ant eaters? Anyway? And eater they're nothing but fun.
They're nothing but fun. They are nothing but fun. And eaters,
Dylan, I don't even think they kill the ants. They eat the ants
just get fucking vacuumed up in that little nose of theirs. Shit out the
next day and they're like, hey, Larry, did you get eating today
too? Yeah? He sucked me up while I was taking a walk yesterday
right where the fuck are we? But that's how nice ant eaters are.
They eat you because they got to live, but they don't hurt you.
You come right out at the back end. Yeah, and that's a that's
a biological fact. And eaters don't feast on any of the you know,
physical forms of the ant. Their spirits are sucked out of them as they
come through the ant eater. And that's why they can have a conversation in
the next day about Larry and how crazy that was. And there is something
missing, but it's too far off, too amorphous, for them to recognize
that their spirit has been trained from their bodies by this little god eater fifty
knots. So we last left off with Lara aka tomb Raider and Max aka
Silent film actor communication Gate fighting with each other. Is this resolved by Sandy
telling Luca how to use the walkie talkie? I was pretty much yeah,
yeah, Well her observation is correct. Max should not be making calls as
far as where the anchor is because he doesn't speak English well, and that
could it's not his fault, but it could get everyone killed. Sure,
yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a person with no hand being a
pilot. It's exactly like, its not their fault, but it's probably not.
They're probably not the best candidate, you know. We get a little
sea rat history with Luca. He zipped around on on bicycles, motorcycles and
the lot before he was even born. And his mother's craving was petrol,
which sounds like sounds like a skinny pregnancy and an insane one. Well,
okay, so yeah, the sea rat story here is Luca's mom when she
was pregnant for him. By the way, she's a looker. Apple doesn't
fall too far from the tree. Would you take it easy, man,
Okay, while she's pregnant rather than you know, do it a lot of
us. Do you to sip a little red wide or take a zanny or
something like that. Yeah, probably ill advice from your doctor, but anyway,
they did in the seventies. Instead, she got on that fucking motorcycle
and did some so what do you call that? What do you call it?
The driving where they're like doing like in the dirt and stuff like motocross.
Yeah, and I heard she tried out for jackass, but a guy
named Poopy said he would not kick a pregnant woman, so she did not
get the game. Have you seen the Disney Channel original movie Motocross? You're
illiterate in film history. I absolutely am. Oh, by the way,
you missed, it was Chef Jack's birthday today and he's always working on his
birth Have you seen brink? Brink? That sounds familiar. What's that about
rollerblading? Now? Popping sids man? You haven't seen brink? Have you
seen Ali Cat strike back? No? Oh my god? Have you seen
Johnny seen Ami? What? Oh my god? That's crazy. But listen,
this is what happens. It's like I haven't seen Threes Company. Right.
To be fair, it was it's run on television ended twenty years before
you were born. So yeah, well you had a vigat in addiction when
Alley Cat struck Piak on the channels. So Kyle and Toomrader speak to one
another in Afre columns, and that is Oh. I wish that I had
that superpower with somebody like my father in law and his sister. They can
always speak Spanish to one another amidst a you know, a chaos of family.
I'm like, gosh, I wish I knew what they were saying about
me right now. Yeah, I'm kidding. I'm not that narcissistic. They're
talking about lots of different stuff. Yeah, of course, but it's very,
very convenient to be able to speak Spy. You know, I think
I'm going to try and learn Spanish next year. Well, always putting it
off, huh, yeah, I was gonna kick the can. What do
you do tomorrow? I got things I gotta do, you know, Spanish?
Not really okay? So you don't order in Spanish or Taco Bell,
do you? Okay? No? No, no, my father does that,
and it's, uh, it's really problematic. Yeah. Can we get
to Kyle and in Italian making beds with each other? This is when Kyle
shares all the fun aspects of having a brother and sister relationship. Yeah,
they're competitive, they have fun together, they laugh and occasionally he backstabs her.
Yeah yeah, yeah, that's you know, it's a it's a tale
as old as time, brothers and sisters hating one another and backstabbing each other.
You know, that's how me and Ruby operate. You know, we
just cannot stand one another, and at any chance we're given, we'll send
a nasty text to a superior about the other. Well, that's because you
have a brother and sister relationship, Yes, exactly, praying for these two.
It's not healthy. Let's get to the little birthday party with tomb Raider
and Max. They are fighting amidst Hello Kitty decorations, and you know that's
one of those environmental changes. You know, the power of Me's on sen
is really on display here because you know, you put some buddy in uh,
I don't know, let's say a financial district bullpen, you know,
and you have a conversation you're fighting about, you know, like the S
and p right, But if you put them in a children's birthday party that's
actually thrown for a twenty nine year old man, that really changes the you
know, the dynamic of a little bit. It's like if All Quiet on
the Western Front was scored by Herb Albert, it would be completely different.
I agree, it would soften the horror of the Great War. Now,
Dylan, you mentioned at the top of the show in your Thoughts and Nots
that we got some pretty subpar sea rat histories. Oh my god, did
we? Okay, Well, we start with tomb Raider here aka Laara.
She talks about being a violent kid because she had a difficult childhood. And
that's pretty much all the details she give. So I rate this a four
on the Sea Rat sad scale. And is it one out of one hundred?
I was going to do one out of ten. Okay, one out
of ten. So the saddest being your father was slain before this, uh
kindergarten ballet con. If you want to kind of make your way up to
a six, dad has he shouldn't have been around, or when he was
in the house he was drunk or yeah, yeah, punched walls or he
burned the house down. That will give you a solid seven. Oh,
Manchester by the Sea kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, but this is
a four, just not a solid showing. So the scows are does great
with kids. I mean, he just does you know, he's a He's
a fantastical man. I'm gonna move on to the next thing. Then,
Yeah, we're gonna make pizzas to me and Kyle. Is this the pizza
thing? Yeah? Yeah, the pizzas. Well. They figure out that
the pizzas will be made with the kids at eleven maybe some stuff happens here,
and then the adults will eat lunch at at noon. Okay, But
at this point the actual tension between Nat and Luca really heats up, and
just in time for that boyfriend AJ to text her he's going to Thailand with
his bros to have sex with. I presume everything, and I mean everything
the way that AJ operates. I mean, you know, there's a there's
a I don't know, there's a hawker. They they're not they don't have
anything to do with the sexual arts. But you know, come one,
come all. I mean, even the ant eaters in Thailand are not safe.
You know what I mean? Oh not with this character. Are there
ant eaters in Thailand? I bet there are? Yeah, probably they probably
rent the zoo for the day if they weren't, you know, walking around
their natural habitat. He's like, I need an ant eater. When you
think zoo, what animal do you think? Well, I go to the
La Zoo once a week, so I think flamingos. Flamingoes, right,
and gorillas. Flamingos and gorilla and giraffes. I was playing this game called
context shool the other day, and you you write a word in and then
it tells you how many words you are off of the word that they're actually
talking about. So like you'll say charity and they'll be like, oh,
you're fifteen thousand words off. And it got down the word was panda,
and it was like, if you're at a zoo, the main zoo animal
is panda. I don't know if I agree with that. Well, we
don't have pandas any more. China made us ship them all back. They're
not a single in America right now. No way. Can you believe that
bullshit? Are you telling me that game was from China? I think it
might have been, because when I think zoo, I think lemurs, I
think flamingos, and I think little French fries in the shape of animals.
That's what I think they have. They're chicken nuggets. But oh really yeah,
Oh you know what else? I think those little machines that press the
pennies down all flattened makes me what a racket that thing is. It makes
me buy them every time I'm four bucks for I know that's the thing.
It doesn't cost a penny, but you have to The penny is the raw
material. You have to pay to process the raw material, but it should
cost a penny. Anyways, we got to talk about belowdeck two man Kyle
are chatting about Natalia, and he is talking shit once again on Natalia for
good reason. We get a little montage of her kind of venting a little
bit, talking a little bit, and listen, I don't have a problem
with that. I mean, they're brother and sister. But at three point
thirty in the morning, I do not want to hear you say. I
really feel like I'm starting to become a woman. It is too late for
that kind of conversation. There's just nothing productive that can come from. And
look, there's some shit talking happening here as Kyle shares this or complains about
Natalia to Toomey about it. However, it's setting a pattern in which we
finally get to me beginning to realize that Kyle is a speck stabbing asshole.
Yeah, yep, And that's good on Toomey. She's starting to see how
this Kostra nostra kind of thing is working a little bit. You know,
you gotta have a little bit of street smarts when you're dealing with sea rats.
Oh yes, look what they're telling you, boy, I bet they're
going to be telling It's in the book the forty eight Laws of power.
Yeah, it's in the book forty eight Laws of Power, which is a
revolting book. It is a book that teaches people how to fuck others.
But it is beneficial because we do live in a late stage capitalist hellhole,
and you do have to step over the corpses of your enemies in order to
reach the throne. Well, don't forget to step out the ashes to make
sure that they're fully distinguished. Hey, you want to talk about something else
that's mean crotch goblins? Yeah, after making those pies. Hayley doesn't seem
like she likes kids. No, I don't think she does like kids.
And she doesn't like ant eaters either. And here is once again a Robert
Frost kind of precipice that we're facing it. We could go off and continue
talking about the beauty of anteaters, but I'm a little concerned that, led
by me and caused by me, we've been a little all over the place
tonight. Maybe a little bit, Yeah, I will say her two other
sticking points were jeans that are too thin with the pockets so that you can't
fit your cell phone in. I'm with your girlfriend, Yeah, and also
idiots that wear sunglasses. Indoors. I like that. I like that.
I am not. I wish I could pull that off, but I just
feel like an idiot. You know, you see you know, you see
you see Wheezy court side and you go, oh man, he's wearing sunglasses.
You know what I mean. Yeah, but it's it's fully lit up.
Yeah, we're talking about like going to a place that maybe doesn't have
that kind of lighting. Yeah, and you're showing up there. You can't
see in two feet in front of your Frances Musso and Franks like, don't
wear sunglasses and Musson bit yeah yeah, yeah, jerk, you can't see
with no sunglasses. It's too dark. Now, Dylan, can we talk
about these pizzas for a second, because we talked with Chef Jack about it.
You thought they looked like crap. Fair enough, maybe they didn't stick
the landing as far as if they were on Iron Chef, they'd probably get
low scores for plating. But I have to say this, if I was
Shata and they brought me one of these pizzas, I would say, you
have brought not only have you failed conclusively, you have brought shame to this
entire franchise. But I pointed out in our interview with Chef Jack, which
will drop later this week. And you have to hear it's really fun.
You have to is that at least they put sauce on the goddamn pie.
I moved to Los Angeles. Out Here in Los Angeles, we prefer our
pizza to look more of what a case idea would it look like? Yes?
Yeah, and bread or whatever. Yeah, and the pie suck out
here? Where's the sauce? Where is the sauce? It's like a black
Eyed Peace song? I like that. Yeah. I mean, look,
I am so eighty DS and it's just associative nonsense coming out of me tonight.
And I apologize. Well, let me get us back on track.
This is gonna blow your mind. But Lara and Max are going at it
again. Yeah, Tombrader Max are not doing well. Cable out Cable outlet.
These two don't really speak English all that well, and they're they're trying
to communicate in like they might as well just try Afrikaans in French, you
know, because who knows, it can't it can't get any worse. I
just got to say, I don't think they're paying enough due to the food
this season. In an episode filled with mundane sea rat histories about where you
get your motor or how you're kind of a little snippy. Let's take that
thirty seconds that will never get back. Let's chuck some chirons up for some
of the food. You know what I mean? They started doing that and
then they stopped doing it. What where is? What? What where?
Where is? And what is with this half assed commitment to the culinary arts.
I mean, it's just nuts. Speaking of the colony of arts,
would you like to talk about lunch a little visit to Italy. Yeah,
we've got marinated barrata, we've got raviata, we've got lobster and listen,
once again, I just don't have enough to go off of you. I
mean, there's a lot of food on that table. Yeah, there's a
lot of food on the table. And lunch is lunch is the theater where
you can slop down some sea bugs and some pasta and some capraisi, you
know what I mean? Of course, you know, because there's this ruse
pulled on people at restaurants. You know, marinated barratas it's just caprasy salad.
You know. Sure, it's a different kind of curd, but it'll
be accompanied by something tomato most often, and there will be some kind of
bas albeit in the form of oil or a chef and od. It's just,
you know, we see what you're doing. You know, we see
exactly what you're fucking doing. Hey, Dyl, do you think now would
be a good time to go for a break? Do an AD break?
Do you want to do an AD break right now? Why don't we?
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So we carry on, and we carry forth, and we carry on.
We get to more too. Mey's I love chaos thing. Yeah, listen,
it's getting that is becoming an end kind of thing. It's just we're
too many times with the this is too nice. I prefer chaos, and
I learned the go go go from my mom, who again did tell me
that my father was brutally murdered right before my ballet performance. You know those
Stockholm syndrome with that woman in her huh yeah, I seem to have a
lot of respect for her, though it sounds like kind of toxic parenting if
you ask me, well, I don't want to judge. Yeah, I
don't want to listen, I don't want to judge anybody. Well to me
tells us for the second time about that chaos thing. Meanwhile, Orby and
his fellow guests, you know, they're putting behind their crazy drunk pass.
I forget what charter guest said this, but as they head over the island,
she says, we will let's blow this, uh like a popsicle stick.
Let's blow this popsicle stick. What is that? I think it's uh
blow this popsicle stand like a I couldn't tell, kind of like an R
I R A kind of explosion. What do you I don't think it's a
way that the kids used to say, let's get out of here. I
think, hey, Orb, if you're listening and your lovely wife hit us
up, try and explain this, yeah, because it sounds like either a
terrorist attack or or or a mimicry of sucking dick, you know what I
mean? Yeah, I mean why? Yeah? Of course. Meanwhile Max
has left the stern with no one to stay on duty, and this causes
shocking another dust up between the Frenchmen, and it's uh. I think this
is when it's decided that perhaps a little positive reinforcement could help you. You
know. The only thing that I really am gleaning from this is just kudous
to Luca, because Luca is so cool hand Luca with this whole thing.
Luca, he's just so smooth with everything. He just does not get flustered
at all. He doesn't entertain the melodrama, he doesn't feed off it.
I think he's a spiritually sound young man, and I do think that he
is the right person to helm this this vessel of seerr. I don't think
I've said this quite a bit of cast members on this particular season. I
think we will see him again in the future on this show. So he
kind of comes to the idea that maxi Net's positive reinforcement. He says,
rub your balls with grace. That's like a hey, hey, we're both
guys, right, you know, Hey, we're both dudes, and we
both think that testicular funnies are funny, you know, so let's level with
each other there. Hey, Dell, while we were doing this, do
you mind if I give a little shameless plug for our Patreon again? Oh?
Yeah, here, of course, I am going to be reviewing the
show Naked Attraction. I've watched the show. I can't do it. Oh
yeah, I can't wait. So head on over to patreon dot com.
Slash another podcast now work, I'm going to talk about it. I can't.
I've never seen penises that ugly in my entire It's it's really really shocking.
Now listen, circumcised, uncircumcised you I got no quips about that speaking
of ant eaters, Yeah, no, I know, it's quite horrifying to
see. Listen. You can have a cute, cute little penis with it
with a hood on it, but sometimes and I didn't know that this existed
until I saw naked Attraction. But I wasn't aware that there could be these
kind of like dehydrated raisin nets kind of distending past the tip of the penis.
And and it's quite horrific, but we don't want to judge. No,
so head on over Patriot Dog cop slash into the podet What are we
doing that? On PMZ aps PMZ, but I'll probably talk about it on
APS too. I was horrified. I could not stop writing notes on the
first episode, which, by the way, I think is amazing television,
and and and and and and I love how body positive the whole thing is.
Oh a body positive while someone critiqu your fucking ball. I know it's
amazing. I don't know how you can be body positive when you say your
cock looks like it's going to cause internal bleeding. That guy cried when he
left. She said my cock was too. He had a bad attitude about
that whole thing. It's like, okay, guy, you know, sometimes
we got to take a loss in life. Move on, all right,
So an Italian's relationship is affecting her work, and we move on to another
management conference trick from Captain Sandy Lara aka tomb Raider aka Lara will be driving
the boat. Here. She cannot yell at Max. Here, she cannot
really scream. She must keep a cool hand. I'm done. You gotta
give you s well. Lara reminds us once again that she was in fact
a big fan of the book The Secret, because on her dream board she
had created an image of her being a captain with a monkey on her shoulder.
I thought, I felt so bad about cutting the social clip and putting
that out and tagging tomb Raider in what was a takedown of her sad,
sad dreams. But this week we had some dreams. You know, this
is a dream, right, And you should not dream to be a sea
rat because again, dreams are free. They can be as big as you
want them to be. They'll keep them down to earth because you will be
in a hamster wheel kind of existential nightmare if you can never reach it.
You know, like, I don't know, but wanting to be a captain
with a monkey on your shoulder, that's a dream. There you go,
that's a fucking I mean, I didn't know, I didn't know that I
had that dream. But I do have that dream though, Well, where
was the eye patch? What well, we get another text from Natalia's honey.
Mm hmm. I forget what he says here, but I think it's
one of those passive controlling texts. Yeah, not just another really cool text
from Natalia's really cool boyfriend. Again. I just want somebody to dox him.
You know, somebody docks this guy. We'll find he's he has to
have committed tax fraud and he's definitely engaged in dealings with trafficked sex workers.
So someone figured this guy's social Security number out, and don't do anything irresponsible
or illegal. But just you know, we need some robin Hoods out there
because these people are getting away with way too much, exactly man, you
know, uh so the text was, you go out tomorrow night right,
think of me, call me then, L y babe. I mean,
you should be incarcerated just for texting like that. If you know, if
if my dream of being a ruthless dictator where to ever come true, you
know, I would be sending people away for that. L y babe,
you go out tomorrow night right, think of me, call me then,
L why babe? I mean that is just so impersonal, and it's already
such an impersonal quite the control over in Italia. I see her as a
very, very self empowered person, and I'm shocked by the control. We'll
talk about an Italian later on the episode. I am here with her because
she's slotting into one of my least favorite archetypes, the Oh my gosh,
you'll never believe this new detail about my toxic relationship. Yeah, oh my
god, you'll never believe how little I give a fuck about this new detail
about your toxic relationship. It is so uninteresting. Leave me alone or break
up with the person. I cannot hear anything. I've been that guy,
and I've also had the friend that shut up about his girlfriend. I'm like,
dude, she banged the entire football team behind your back. It's time
to walk away. It's just a really harsh example. It was true,
though it was true for you. Yeah, that's all I can say.
I want to talk about dinner. Yeah, su pick Cod's steak, crazy
screwers. I just don't know what we're doing here. I mean, no
Chiron's, no no, no footage of prep really, no announcement, no
menu planning. Well what gives night falls? Ah and the gang gets ready
for the next day. The Pirate day filled with clues on paper that Natalia
made herself. We go night night, and we see some odd stuff from
Natalia before our heads hit the pillow. We do, but if you don't
mind, I'd like to go back a few Kyle and Natalia chat and she's
complaining a bit about the lack of urgency to have the table set up prior
to guests arriving. Kyle notes that Natalia did this, and I think he
reports it to Toomey once again that she might have been backstabbing a little bit,
and he says that it appears she's regressing, and he says, the
drama girl, the drama girl, Kyle, pot meat Kettle, mm hmm,
it's almost as if you're talking about yourself, you shit talker. Hi
Pop, my name's Kettle, you know. But can we get to this?
Oh no, no, yeah, night time before by the way,
here we go. This is what a change of behavior from Orby and his
charter guests. They play Yachtzi all night and then nat discusses pirate A with
the crew, and later nat Is says it's it's a little early for bed
to uh Luca and asks if lucas hearing what she's throwing down and he says
yes, yeah, but I don't think he is because they don't have sex,
which which that's fine. I mean Lucas getting frustrated with all of this
kind of bizarre, kind of hitchcocky and kind of a kind of like it
like these advances are are like are like kind of strange. He's he's like,
what are we going to do this? Or like what's going on?
Like I don't need to have sex with you, but I'm just wondering,
like what you're doing. Well, that's true. You're dressing the pillows up
and you're saying sleep on this one, and think of me, like that's
what's going on here? Hmm, you know what I mean? Well,
I thought she was pretty much thrown it out there. I thought she was
like, hey, let's have some sex right now, okay, because it
reminded me of a scene from the original Ghostbusters where the demon from another dimension
asks one of the Ghostbusters are you a god? And uh, we learned
you always say yes, sure. Yeah. When a horny Ossi who has
a contract with Playboy wants to have sex with you, you say yes.
What's the things? Ban and burn? Who are you gonna call Ghostbusters.
You know, I forgot that theme the other day. You know that.
I don't know what happened to my Lewis and the News sued the Bejeebis out
of Ray Parker Junior and the producers of that film for stealing I want a
new drug from them. It's the exact same riffcue. However, they didn't
steal from that. They stole it from a sixty song. It sounds exactly
like it. Listen, theft is the fiirest form of flattery. So next
day Danger Aaron wants an omelet with black olives. I don't know how I
feel about that. I want to say it's disgusting, but I don't know.
I feel like it could be. I've had it. It's good.
Yeah, it sounds like it's like a Nisois kind of fun thing. It
was. It was called a Greek a Greek omelet, and there was some
what kind of cheese would they? That's fete? It was feta and olives
in it. Yeah, and it was good, very good. Sounds like
a salt dice tomatoes. It was a salt bumb like a basketball and calls
completely completely forgot the chooser, I completely once again and then we get to
children ship and listen, we're throwing up chirons for the clues. Why can't
we throw up chirons for the pasta? You know what I mean? It's
are you made he You'll find this treasure once you Untie Sandy by the jacuzzie.
You know it's we get it. It's like you're trying to one last
time jack the tip up a little bit. But again, I'll just say
it again and again. Unless the children have a mean streak to them,
don't let them aboard this way. I agree with you. I want at
least one of them trying to light things on fire when no one's looking hundred
percent. So we get a tight squeeze that is squeezed into job, Captain
Sandy. If you see, if you see a tight squeeze and you haven't
seen a tight squeeze in the preview for the season, because god, if
there was a tight squeeze that was in the preview for that season, it
would mean that there was disaster, right. But if we don't see it,
then you know that nothing, nothing could possibly go wrong here. The
only thing that's going to come of this is Sandy going great job, everybody
great, job. That's it's great teamwork. Uh, Luca and nat rub
each other's asses. And then we get to the meeting pet Oh wow,
twenty eight grand Yeah, that's twenty three hundred each. Hell yeah, and
we learn and will be returning who Jess heads back to party and we head
out. We get some cool talk in the vans about Kyle milking people's prostates.
I think, yes, that was that was cool. We've talked about
it many times before. I think it's a damn shame that men don't have
their buttons pushed more. Anything you want to add anything to that? Pat?
Do you not want? Do you not want your button? Push?
Out? Out out out? All right, fine, we hit the club.
Yeah, this is weird. We four go dinner, Yeah, and
go straight to that club. I kind of appreciated it. Oh sure,
who needs the duck larne when you can slam them down Vodka exactly or tequila
and way to go, chef Jack Landing a nice girl from England. Way
to go Jack. The scowser gets a little action. Yeah, And then
we get to this stupid shit with Natalia and Luca and her international criminal of
a boyfriend. Natalia, pick it up, put it down. Whatever you
do, do it, and then let's stop talking about it. Yeah,
you know, he's I feel for her because he does have some kind of
Christian Gray control over her. But he's not Christian Gray. He's nice who
pays to come on prostitutes hair. Yeah, it's really way less charming.
It's way less charming. There's a there's barely any charm to that, you
know what I mean. But alas Luca and Italia being the two hotties on
the boat, cannot help themselves. They have to lash at one another's skin.
And while they're doing it above Kyle's head, Kyle go sleep in another
room. AJ calls I like Luca, He's like, pick it up.
I thought that was a dumb movie. Pick it up. I thought that
was really immature. Yeah, so immature and bad. Move on you,
Luca, Yeah, Luca, come on, man, and she's entertaining picking
it up? Yeah? What are you doing right now? Be honest?
Well, next week we will see Captain Sandy sustain a possibly career ending injury.
Who knows, But until then, join us on Patreon, join us
on YouTube. Jump the iTunes range of usually five stars, kind words honestly
from the bottom of our hearts. The show is growing kind of crazy right
now, and we love all of you for listening. Tell a friend,
tell a family member, tell a co worker, tell a homeless person.
Whatever you can do to help spread the show, we would appreciate it immensely.
I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, Say goodbye.