Interesting question on x the other day Mac from creepy dot org and they said,
what scene from a horror movie still haunts you to this day? Huh,
that's a good question. There's been like three or four over the years.
I wouldn't say any currently I'm creeped out by, but over the years
when I was a kid, I definitely watched The Exorcist and Friday the Thirteenth
way too early, and I had nightmares about the Exorcist and also the mother
of Jason's mother from missus vorh he's Pamela Voar. He's scared the shit out
of me from Friday the Thirteenth. Also, I had a recurring nightmare for
like three years when I was a kid watching episode of The X Files,
which doesn't really fall under this, but it's sort of the same idea in
my adult life. When I saw The Strangers in the summer of two thousand
and eight, we went back to my buddy's parents' house in New Hampshire in
the Lakes Region, which was the whole first floor. The back part that
faced the lake was all glass. And I don't know if you've seen The
Strangers, people like creeping on you in like a regular home when I get
a little creeped out when people can see in and you can't see out.
I don't like that because then like you can't maneuver. They they see every
everything that you're doing. So that's that's probably the most recent example. What
about you, I would say for me, and this just goes back to
one simple answer. I always go back to this. And this is at
the age of roughly thirteen fourteen in the movie Signs at the Brazilian birthday party,
the home video of just a normal birthday party. Out of nowhere,
this alien saunters out of the bushes. Yeah, he does a little sasquatch
walk by the alley and keeps going. And it's an incredible jump scare in
a movie that was very good and creepy as it was that that was so
unexpected in that movie. That all time great jump scare. And you know
what, I love to thinking back. So I think Signs was, yeah,
two thousand and one or two thousand and two. Yeah, they had
to frame it as a birthday party, so they would have the cam quarter,
which you wouldn't need to do now because the cell phones, right,
and it's just it's the simplicity of the home footage. It's kind of grainy,
so it can look a little bit off and just as soon as that
thing pops out, because I do believe in aliens, but still, the
thought of aliens, if I ever see one, I'm gonna shit my pants.
Yeah, you and I you and I, well, what do you?
What are you gonna do if an alien shows up? You can't do
anything. You might as well just stay relaxed. I'm gonna surrender, die.
You're gonna do what you want to me. I agree with you,
like we are not ghost boys, but I like aliens definitely exist. You
know, if you believe in ghosts, fine whatever. If you don't believe
in aliens, you're moron one. Good three, Yeah, job three,
King of Queen mal Street Entertainment, dime do and I'm man. And today's
topic is a big old basketball. Yeah. Goo's been really inspired by the
month of March and March madness. Here he got all jazzed up and said,
hey, let's talk about the best fictional basketball scenes and movies. And
I said, okay, let's talk about the old round ball. Putting it
on the floor. Getting called up for a tea now and then oh,
put it up before the buzzer goes off. For whatever reason. The last
month, all of your SOUD effects I hear it like ten percent in my
head. So okay, well listen to it back live. It comes through
full, but not to bring you into what we're doing right now. But
there's a new board here. I'm at work and this is not doing a
good job at giving you sound. I don't know what's happening. I gotta
figure it out. That's on me. It really doesn't matter. Yeah,
yeah, I for a little background here, good and I played hockey our
whole lives, with which crossed over with basketball season. So I never played
organized basketball until college GOO, when I played intramurals and then I played in
the men's league. I was like, maybe twenty three, twenty four,
I am not good at basketball. But based on like two times I've seen
you take a jump shot, you are fucking horrific at basketball. I am
so bad at basketball. We were at a kid's birthday party at the Boys
and Girls Club two weeks ago. I picked up a ball, I shot
it, and then I said, oh, yeah, I'm really bad at
this. Don't look at me. Kids, don't look at I just imagine
you having like a Sean Marion like hip shot type of No, I'll tell
you exactly what it is, because we have one of those scenes coming up.
It's a lot like one of the scenes coming up. Yeah, I
became a big basketball fan when the Celtics Scott Good with Kevin Garnett. In
reality, yeah, I always was like fond of basketball, but never really
played it, And then for whatever reason, I probably now watch more basketball
than any other sport. Is it because basketball is the best to bet on,
or it's the funnest to bet on because there's so many points going back
and forth. Part of me thinks it's because it's a little bit of like
making up for lost time because I didn't watch a ton of basketball like when
I was grown up, for example, or when we were growing up.
The Celtics were terrible, Paul Pierce was good. So I love mart Blount,
I love Christian McGrady was my favorite player forever. Not to get too
far into sports here, although this is a basketball episode, but the other
day, when Sam Houser almost set the record for most three pointers by a
Celtic in a game, I went through and looked at the top twenty three
pointer games of all time. Antoine Walker hit nine threes twice in eight once
in a time when you were not supposed to just shock up threes. Well
yeah, he wasn't an efficial scorer, but the man liked shooting the basketball,
that's for sure. If Antoine Walker had come up ten years fifteen years
later, he would have been a much better player, because I think coaches
would have been much more accepting of his play style. But when when Walker
was coming up, who was like he was a small forward or he was
a power forward, but like in a small forwards body, he was a
tweeter. He liked chucking. He had well I don't think it had the
work ethic, but he had the talent to be great. He just never
really fully saw that through. But whatever, yes, whatever, we're getting
off the topic here, Mac. The topic is basketball. I am a
big basketball fan these days, and I couldn't even exactly explain to you why.
All right, So what we're gonna do here. We have three kind
of topic ish things going on here. We're gonna start off with best basketball
scenes, not best. I picked six, no particular order. I'm not
saying if they're good or bad. Shut up. I'll get to that in
a second. Then we have we're gonna do a little draft of the best
fictional starting lineups mac v goo on that one. And then we also have
a little something in your sack. So I say, without further ag,
let's get to six basketball scenes that I just gotta talk about. Wait,
what's Goose Juicy's six pack chaw? Let me tell you Goose Juice is six
pen gooz Justice six packs, gooz Juste six pain, Goose Juice six pack.
Man. Can I ask a question? Yes, before we move on?
Why is it a horse at the unicorn? Where's the horn? Any
more questions? If you don't know what I'm talking about. The little uh
little video that just played with the theme song has go and a and a
horse. Also, fun fact, I would sing that song, so don't
think I do true good. Let's get to a basket ball scene that really
set comic book movies back quite a bit, and that is from the movie
Catwoman. When yes, patients Phillips and Benjamin Bratt, Now they're supposed to
have a bit of a budding romance going on a bit of a flirtation,
So what do they do The sexiest thing possible one on one basketball after being
pear pressured by children, of course, And what Patience does in this scene,
in this little ninety seconds is just pure nonsense. From the way that
she is dribbling and bouncing the ball back and forth, which I do.
She's a cat so like yarn, I kind of get that. But then
she runs up a wall does a flip, and as they're going back and
forth, her and Benjamin Bratt, the camera moves and the editing is nauseating.
I cannot It's just back and forth. And these idiots in the crowd,
these children are so impressed by all of these moves. They even find
a way to make a shot of halle Berry's ass look unappealing, like the
way that they have her bouncing back and forth. Fucking slow that shit down.
Yeah, this is there's so many, like, so many contextual things
to know about this. So number one, we've talked about it, people
talked about it before. But the character that Haley Berry plays in this movie
is not a character from comic books. It's not Selen Kyle. They just
make up a new catwoman character so they can do whatever they want, I
guess. And then on top of that good. They can do this if
they want. Catwoman comes out in two thousand and four, and it's hard
to think that they are not influenced by the popularity of the and One mixtape
tour. Yeh was like two thousand and one, two thousand and two the
professor that whole thing hot Sauce. So we started seeing these types of scenes
in the early and mid two thousands. I think a lot because I end
one. Although what I do like about this is that Benjamin Bratt is trying
to like back her down, so he's putting his ass into her and to
combat that. Now you learn this at firefighter school. In order to fire
a fire, you fight it with more fire. She turns around and sticks
her ass right into him. The best low post defense is to also back
down the person backing you down. Everyone knows that. And then we do
get some and one dribbling where she's going between her legs and then she does
as a cat does, an amazing dunk. Yeah. I wonder, and
we'll talk about this scene in a few minutes. Yeah, I wonder how
in the Amazing Spider Man that they knew this scene existed and they still did
what they did In that movie. If there was a referee on The Amazing
Spider Man, a lot of calls, a lot of calls. Well that's
you know, goo, when you're playing streetball, you call your own foules.
That's the whole thing. I feel like if Flash tried to call his
own foul against Peter in that someone might have said your feet were still moving,
and then he'd say, well, Peter fucking trap. He took six
steps and ran me over. We're not on that scene yet, though,
Mac, We're still here. So she finishes her her rim rattling dunk and
then lands on him, straddles him, and they just kind of sit there
sexy for a second, and the kids say, can we have her ball
back? Well, after you play someone one on one, there's nothing more
you want to do than roll around in the sheets. You know, it's
it's a natural afrodisiac. Did you ever in high school think to ever have
like a thought of playing one on one with the girl and that leads to
hooking up. I think, now that i'm thinking about it, if she
was backing me down, you would you would like lean into it, you
know, I had that thought when I was in high school once. Oh,
I might have thought about that once being back down, and then that
leads to the sexy time and then all of us, all of a sudden,
the lights go down in your pants strap. So I guess, uh,
what would you grade this scene? I think this is the scene that
everyone first thinks of, yes, or one of the top two anyways.
So in terms of like full ridiculousness for a fictional basketball scene, it's got
to be a forty dog scene when you think back to recently awarded Academy Award
winning Halle Berry, Yes, who then got a Razzie for this and then
went to the Razzie Awards and said, hey, thanks guys. She's still
the only person to actually go and accept her award. Yeah, and I
think she brought her oscar with her when she went. What did she win
for, by the ways, ball? Monsters ball? Yes, how about
that. Yeah, let's move on to the next scene, and we have
we have space jam And you might be saying to yourself, Oh, I
know the basketball scene that you're talking about. It's the final play of the
game when Bill Murray comes out of the tunnel and they do some passes back
and forth and Michael Jordan does this amazing slam dunk from almost half court after
being told by the Looney Tunes you're in cartoon and you can do whatever you
want, when that's something they should have led with, and she just said,
hey, you can do whatever you want. Although I don't think Jordan
has the greatest imagination anyways. But we'll get to that in a second.
The scene that I want to talk about is before we get to that.
Uh, when you have the you have the big boss, you have the
coach of the Monstars, the leader of Moron Mountain. He's yelling at his
team saying, why didn't you get this guy's talent? Why would you get
those slouches talent? By the way, those slouches fifteen All Stars, three
Hall of Famers not really slouches. The Monstars. We had Sean Bradley,
Muggsy Bogus, Larry Johnson, Charles Barkley. And who was the fifth one?
Did you say Sean Bradley yet I did, Okay, Larry Patrick Ewing
Ewing, yes, so maybe not Larry Johnson or Larry Johnson was one of
them. And if you go back and you listen to my award winning Space
Jam podcast that I did with Marcus Estevez five or six years ago. I
went through the accomplishments of all the Monstars talent that they stole, and what
this movie told you is that those five guys not equal to Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan better than those five guys. You know what, if you just
talked talked about it strictly basketball wives, the only person that's even like remotely
close is Barkley. And if you wanted to get into the extras and o's
of it, they needed another wing and another guy. Yeah, they went
too big, we can agree on that right now. But also, I
mean, you still have two Hall of Famers there. Granted, neither of
those Hall of Famers won a championship, so you could look at it that
way, and Jordan took both of them down constantly. But let's get to
this though, is that while he is yelling at the Monstars for not getting
the talent of Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan overhears this. He says, Hey,
do you want a piece of me. That's the acting of Michael Jordan
this movie. That's the high quality talent that we have. And the coach
says, what do you have in mind? And Jordan says, if we
win, you give the NBA stars their talent back, and if we lose.
So if you win, we lose, there we go. That's how
that works. Jordan says, you get me. And what I love about
this is that this movie shows off Jordan's pure addiction to gambling and the fact
that he hates life with his family so much that he is willing to give
it up and gamble away his freedom if he doesn't win this basketball game.
If there is any doubt that Michael Jordan was suspended due to gambling on basketball,
this movie only confirms that he a thousand percent is a terrible gambler.
And David Start asked him to walk away for a year. He was willing
to enter slavery if he lost this. Yes, he needed this. And
I now think that before every NBA Finals Jordan would go up to the best
player every time and say, if you beat me, you own me.
Yeah right, there might be something to that. That definitely might be something
to that, because like obviously, the the Last Dance came out ye what
two years ago now, And it's funny to see Jordan talk about stuff that
happened twenty five and thirty years ago and him still be bitter and competitive or
a man can't get over stuff. He's just uber competitive and would still bet
on whatever today. I wish they did one episode of that where he's like
and then that damn coach of the monstars. He wouldn't give the players talent
back. So I had to step in and I said, you get me.
They should have done like one little clip of that, like one little
let's have some fun, all right, Mac. The scene that I was
referencing earlier to how bad at basketball I am would be a long came Paulie,
And I'm not even talking about all the shenanigans of the sweaty, shirtless
hairy guy with Ben Stieller. That's fine, that's fun. Philip Seymour Hoffman
in this scene, the physical comedy that he pulls off, you don't would
think of him in this comedic light as much as we should think about what
is the porn movie I'm blanking right now with Mark Wahlberg Dirk Diggler, Yes,
uh, what is the name of that movie? I'm a superstar.
Fuck. I always forget the name of this fucking movie. I know I
can remember Dirk Diggler Boogie Knights, Boogie Knights, So think of Boogie Knights
with his wife or no, he's he's the stage hand because William H.
Macy has the wife that keeps sleeping with William H. Macy. Also hilarious.
Booie Knight's a very very funny movie. Burt Reynolds did not like it.
But Nina Hartley, an actual porn star, was in the movie,
so that doesn't make sense. But the physical stuff that Philip Seymour Hoffman is
pulling off in this scene rain dance. I think this is rain drops.
They said rain dance. Is it rain drops? I think it's rain drops,
but I haven't seen it. He yells it. That's all that matters
is that as he's shooting, he white chocolate yells it and hits the top
of the backboard. Yes, it's me, it's me. That's like your
classic. If you ever played pick up basketball at like a court when you're
fucking waiting, you're like, all right, I got next to two teams
waiting. Every team almost has that one guy that like should never take a
shot, and he takes fifteen shots. You also have an amazing line too
of Ben Stillers like, Hey, why don't we switch you re guarding?
Why don't you guard this guy? And Philip timour Hoffman goes, no,
I just figured out how to guard this guy for whatever reason. Too.
I love that his name is Sandy in that movie. It just like adds
something to the character so great. Between this and the next one, I
think these are the two most jiffable of the basketball scenes. We then go
to the Fresh Prince of bel Air when Will Smith joins Carlton's uptight, pretty
much white basketball team. And I think the thing that I hate about the
Fresh Prince the most is that they shot on the smallest basketball courts possible.
I fucking hated that. Yeah, we went to a middle school gu that
had a lower gym that was probably built in nineteen twenty and the dimensions of
the gym are incredibly small, like not even close to regulation size the basketball
court, and that's the court they're playing on here, Like the three point
line is like at half court with no middle at all. Made six foot
two Will Smith look huge, but it also made five foot four hill fonsele
Ribero look huge because the court was way too small. And true Carlton this
episode, he hates the fact that coach isn't giving him any more attention.
Coaches away from the whole team aspect of the game now because it's all about
Will. Carlton doesn't like that his dad is paying Will all these compliments.
Now that Will is showing a little bit of like, you know what he
can offer to the world. Philip Banks is like, you know what,
I'm kind of bonding with him. I love basketball too. Now we can
talk about something. Now I can be proud about Will about something. And
Carlton doesn't like this. So what happens is when Will has a chance to
make the final shot of the game, Carlton rips the ball from his hand
and then throws it over the backboard. But the magic of this is whoever
came up with the idea, the editor, cinematographer, director to slow it
down and make it look like it's gonna be an epic, good ending final
shot, and then it completely missing everything. One of the funniest things of
all time. It's so fucking good. I love it. I love that
one. The next one up here, Mac is like we talked about earlier,
from The Amazing Spider Man. We have the dunk and Peter doesn't care
for how Flash is treating this girl who is painting at the basketball court during
either gym class or a practice. I'm not even sure what it is to
have all of these people at once in the gym makes no sense. I
don't know how they're all gathered there. No. So what Peter does is,
after Flash does this twice, because Flash, you did that on purpose.
You brought the ball over here on purpose. Yeah, is Peter picks
it up and decides to fucking school Flash and he goes on off the heasy
on him, and then what Flash does? Flash backs off a little bit.
Flash couldn't take the ball away from Peter Spider hands, so he backs
him. He's like, go ahead, Peter, let's see what you got.
Peter decides to then he dribbles a little bit, picks up his dribble,
takes six steps, runs Flash over, and then dunks from the three
point line. I wonder what they why they needed to do this, because
it takes you out of the movie completely. And the Amazing Spider Man movies
are not campy like the Raimi movies, and for them to throw this scene
in the middle of the movie, You're like, what the fuck is I
was already I didn't love the skateboarding scenes. There's a lot of skateboarding scenes
in the movie. And when we eventually do our podcast called Skateboarding, we'll
talk about that there. But and Flash also fucks it up. He doesn't
even take the charge. He steps into him. Obviously you can call travel
on Peter, but we don't even know what a travel is these days.
There was a eurostep in there. It was a crab jump. I also
like, and we were just talking about this before we started recording. You
know, if you takes steroids doesn't help you hit a baseball. Just because
you have superhuman abilities now doesn't mean you know how to dribble and shoot a
basketball. Like you're just stronger and quicker, but you don't gain the abilities
of hot size kind of seeing what happened in Catwoman and in Spider Man,
I disagree. So, Peter, you now have the powers of a spider.
You can climb walls, shoot webs, dribble a basketball. The little
cherry on top of all these mutations is that everyone is now good at basketball
as well. And now let's get to a scene that people talk about a
good amount. But I don't think give the proper context to this final scene.
And I decided, is okay. The movie is called Double Teamed?
Is a double team or double Teamed? Probably double Team? I told Mac
to watch this last night, and then an hour later he came back saying,
I watched all the scenes. I watched all the double Team scenes.
You just started texting me out of the blue about it is called double Team,
Double Team the two thousand and two Disney can get it on Disney Plus.
I suggest you watch it. You just started texting me live live texting
watching Double Team because that scene, the final scene is when we get the
final shot of the game. But we'll get to that in a second.
The final scene in its entirety in quality HD, even standard deaf not even
on there. There's only screenshots of people that post it. And I said,
what happened that led us to this point? Right? Why does this
girl have this heel thing where she like builds up momentum that lets her slow
her body down like she's fucking quicksilver. And she can do this for what
feels like twenty minutes. When there's six seconds on the clock. The defender
should have stolen the ball very easily. The defender didn't see this happening when
you went like this and they're like, oh shit, she's gonna go that
way. Oh oh who. So in this movie, let me just go
ahead and just break this down for you real quick. It's about two twins.
One is named Heidi, one is named Heather throughout the entire thing is
Yes, I did watch the entire movie. I needed to know what happened
leading up to that final scene, so I watched the full ninety minutes leading
up to it, based on a true story, based on a true story.
I didn't know either of the girls at any point of this movie because
they're twins and they look alike, and even if you put their first initial
on their shirt, that wouldn't help me because Heidi Heather, Yeah, but
they're not. This was the rare case in the early two thousands or late
nineties that they didn't like cgi or shoot multiple scenes. It's two different girls.
It's two different girls from two different actors, not related at all,
playing twins. But it is about two girls who are very good at volleyball.
They're fucking behemoths. They're like six foot two. They're monsters compared to
the rest of the children. They're only freshmen, by the way, so
they switch high schools to get noticed, to get scouted for volleyball. And
what happens is that when they get their volleyball doesn't start until the spring.
So you need something to do, right, Gotta do something. Heidi or
Heather joins the basketball team, and then Heather or Heidi joins drama. But
the father is one of those overbearing fathers and he's like, I think you
guys should both play basketball to get ready for volleyball, right right, So
while he suggests that Heidi or Heather does not do it yet, she still
does drama. While Heidi or Heather does do basketball, and she's instantly a
fucking star. She is able to. This was made in the year twenty
oh two, I believe, and this is about teenage girls from the early
nineties like they were in high school, actually high school in the late eighties.
So the entire look of this movie sucks. But this girl, either
Heidi or Heather, which everyone starts playing basketball. At first I think it's
Heidi, but it might be Heather. She is instantly able to completely anytime
someone should it's the ball, she blocks. It goes transition three. She
invented the fucking transition three. She had never played basketball before, and she
is just making it rain every single time. And then once Heather or Heidi's
father makes the other one quit drama without even telling her to sign her up
for basketball too, that one exact same skill set. So I can't pretend
to know how Heather and Heidi played in real life, but them probably being
like six' to two in some podunk town means they did dominate in high
school Califate. Weren't jacking transition threes like Caitlyn Clark like they were ripping transition
threes. Both of them were just setting up and ripping. There are,
uh they might show like three games in this three or four games in this
I counted two misshots from every team, and those two misshots are blocked by
one of them. Transition three. I just imagine them going up against like
five seven girls and the two girls are standing there like Duncan and Robinson,
just missing layoups with the other ones getting the reamount and putting it in.
That's how they scored every point. Also, there are multiple times when one
of them will score and then all the other girls congratulate them on scoring while
the other team is running down the court. So it's real to life.
Yes, that's exactly what. So what happens here and this is this is
how we get into that final scene. This is we're gonna paint a picture
for that final scene. Sure, if you haven't seen it, go watch
it right now, Double team turn us off right now, Google Double teamed,
or do it on Yahoo with your filter off. See what pops up.
But there is a game, and it might be a playoff game,
might just be a regular game where it's the end of the game and they
need to hit some foul shots. And Heidi, I believe, goes out
there to take the file shots and the coach goes up up, but up
up. Heather's the hot hand because I believe the other coach got seed.
Yeah, and the coach got so you can pick who's shooting. So Heather
goes out there, hits a foul shot. She's the hero. And the
father, who's usually proud of Heidi, goes and gives Heather a hug,
and Heidi's like, where the fuck's my hug. So what happens is she
goes to the cul de sac and practices with the homeless kid who taught her
and her other two teammates how to play basketball earlier. And they're just doing
one on one and this kid is This kid's beating them, by the way,
So what is this saying. It's like women can't play basketball. This
fucking homeless kid he can beat them all. He's beat them all a lot.
On the threat. Girl has been playing back off for three months.
That kid probably was beating She created the transition three. So what happens is
that as they were practicing, she fucking blows out her ankle just before the
big game, just before the game where the scouts are coming right right,
So she blows out her ankle. She cannot walk. And what happens is
for that game, she's on the bench, she's not dressed, she has
ice on her foot, she crutches. Yeah, we get to the end
of the game. There is ten seconds left and there's a foul So one
of her smaller teammates is shooting the foul shots, but Heidi says to her,
take your time, and Heidi wobbles off. She goes and puts her
jersey on, yeah, and comes back. It's like coach put me in
and the coach is like, fuck it, let's let's do it. And
he also says I was made to make this play, and I'm like,
this guy's pretty fucking electric. He he draws up this play and he's like,
look, you're gonna draw everybody in. Even though if I'm the other
team, I'm like, you let the fucking the one legged idiot shoot.
Let the flamingo shoot. So the inbound comes in. Oh, by the
way, the coach also says, hey, when that ball comes to you,
you hold it. And it's like, there's six seconds left. Why
are you holding it. You don't have time, Jason Tamum, you gotta
you gotta get the action. You gotta start moving the ball. So the
inbound comes in. She gets the ball with six point five seconds left.
She is five feet back of the three point line. Then we get a
close up of her starting to ramp up and like do this heel thing,
and she's shimmying her body around. Like I said, kind of like quicksilver
time stand still. She can move at full speed and as she is drawing
someone in, it's got to get rid of the inertia. No, but
it then pulls, like the camera pulls back and she is on the three
point line. Did she teleport? Did she take? Steve gets two steps,
But even while she's doing her heel thing, she's like almost picking up
her feet. She's really tempting the referee to call it travel on her.
What an ending to the movie that would have been ball going other way,
travel you lose. And also this move, I thought like, this is
what she was known for. She's known for this ramp up, you know,
pull the defender. She did this once in the movie prior to this.
Yeah, I'm like, was she taught this? Is this something?
But I don't even understand why this is the thing. And then she goes
behind the back and throws a terrible pass to her sister, like it is
wide left by about three feet, and her sister just luckily put her arm
out and got it because she's a goddamn giant. She got it. Put
it up buzzer beater than Yeah, that's the end of the movie. And
then these two girls went and played in the WNBA. I think that they
didn't know how to build the tension properly. So he was like, all
right, we're gonna do some like really focused shots of her holding the ball
as time is running down. But then someone was like, well, that's
not really how basketball works. She wouldn't just stand there, and he's like
no, no, no, no, She's gonna do this thing. And
they're like all right, Like, okay, is that our move? Is
that the triple D? Yeah? No pick and roll, no set action,
nothing, I just stand out twenty five feet away from the basket.
I also like how right after this happens, the father goes up to them
after the game. He's like, I'm sorry, I put so much pressure
on you guys. I didn't mean to do this. It's like, this
is the spot that you pick. You're the reason why they just won the
game. Dad. Yep, about you pat yourself on the back. Yeah
for what? Yeah, incredible, incredible scene. I watched that entire ninety
minute movie. I don't know why you did that. I had to know
how we got there. Had you'd never seen it before. I saw it
when I was younger, And by the way, I know exactly why I
forgot about it. It's fucking boring. It is a mayonnaise sandwich. There's
a chance it's the worst Disney original. All right, Mac, let's move
on to what you came here for Lightning. This is what you came for,
and that is the better fictional basketball team. Have you figured out how
we're gonna do this. Who's gonna draft first and then we'll do Serpentine?
Do you want to set any parameters here? Okay? So yes, we
are not gonna take anyone that is playing themselves in a movie. Okay,
so no, like real pros. Right, so you can't take Michael Jordan
even when he is in an animated world. Okay. I Also, just
because I felt like it was cheating, I didn't use any pros playing other
characters, so like Shack in Blue Chips. Okay, so I will get
that out here. Am I allowed to use animated characters? You can use
animated characters? Yes? Good, because I have eight animated characters. They
would have had to do a whole new draft setup. Do you want to
do yeah, Serpentine, Serpentine, Do you want to draft five and then
a sixth man? We can do that if I have enough guys. Okay,
all right? Do you want first pick or do you want second pick?
I will do first pick because I believe this character needs to be drafted
first pick. And now time for what come on? And waiting for ye
right now when the streets are paid with gold. We don't want no dead
woo for those Only doggie Ie Cracker a buddy that he may do, but
no gobblety cook. Only the best of the best will be taken in the
draft. But not just any old draft. It's the macking oo draft.
What'st it at six foot seven but plays like he's eleven feet tall. Big
man from the Diabolos Elliot Richards played by Brendan Frasier in Bedazzled. All right,
you have Brendan Fraser from Bedazzled. He said five league records in one
game, one hundred and four points, forty five rebounds, thirty two assist,
thirty seven steals, twenty eight blocks. Now, I will say there
is one downside, tiny cock. So he's really angry. He's like Draymond
Green out there, just take hacking people out. We're gonna have very different
teams. I can tell you that from that I texted you yesterday. I
don't think we're gonna have any overlap. All right, so you have Brendan
Fraser from Bedazzles. First pick, yeah, fuas his name is Elliott Richards,
with the second and third picks here. I'm gonna get real harry On
you go. I'm going air Bud from all the air Bud movies. Listen.
Airbud can't dribble. He's unbelievable in transition, never misses a shot,
great free throw shooter. He can't be your number one though, because he
can't dribble. You know who can be your number one? Goo teen Wolf
Scott Howard. That's a good pick. Played by Michael j Fox. Get
all the ups you'd never need. He can be your your your Kobe Bryant,
your Michael Jordan type of player, and not for nothing. Since he's
a wolf, he's probably gonna scare most of the other team. Speaking of
Michael Jordan, my next pick here, listen at five foot two guard for
the La Knights, Calvin Cambridge, played by a Lil Bow wow In like
Mike, He's like Michael Jordan, but Beannie. Yeah, I was gonna
I was hoping he would slip to me. That's a that's a good pick.
He was in my top three. My first pick of the third round
unofficially listed at nine oh eleven forward from the Monsters Pound from the movie Space
Jam. He's thick, he don't get pushed around. He's got a big
old bubble butt and he's got the powers of Charles Barkley. That's just lazy.
Picking a monstar is lazy. I picked the best one if you had
to pick one, isn't it pound Listen, It's lazy, that's all I
say. It's fucking lazy, all right. So I don't know. I
don't know how I need to do this here. I already have the intimidation
factor with a dog and a wolf technically two dogs on the score. Yeah
you're gonna oh good, you picked a fucking monster. Oh me to my
dogs. Give me. I've run out of a dog. So that I
got the top two on the board. Though now I'm not sure. First
off, there's many more dogs. Air bud has children. You can take
any of the air Buddies fair enough. Do I want to get sexy year
or do I want to go with the real basketball? I hope you don't
take my sexy pick. I might go back to back sexy picks here.
That's that's what I'm not too sure about. Give me Lola Bunny, Lola
Bunny from from space Jam. There's just nothing reeks more than an animated Lola
Bunny. I don't know what it is about her. She she reeks sex
appeal. She's dripping and sex appeal. Now, I think at the very
least, I'll be distracting your monstar. Well no, well so what I
would say though, So I'm the coach of my team, right, sure,
I would pull him aside and I'd say, hey, you see a
little bunny over there. Don't call her doll. She does. And what
I like about Loa is she doesn't need the ball in her hands to affect
the game. You know, She's always can't have all alphas on the floor,
and that doesn't make a good basketball square. Although she's kind of an
alpha though, I would say that outside of Jordan, she was the alpha
of that team. But she needs to step up. She can, that's
for sure. Ku, I'm gonna take uh for my fourth pick here,
first pick of the fourth round. Nathan Scott, played by James Lafferty from
One Tree Hill, an absolute animal of a basketball player, went to Duke
and ended up playing for the Charlotte Bobcats. Gouz, so I'm getting an
NBA player here without taking an NBA player, I guess I had to get
one real one, alright, with my fourth pick in the fictional basketball player
Draft five to ten from the Flint Tropics, Jumping Johnny Johnson, Sugar Dunkerton,
down Town, Funky Stuff, Malone, Coffee Black or you might know
him by his birth name, Clarence Withers, played by Andre three thousand.
Not only can he boost the play of those around him, he invented the
alley oop. Really good pick. I love Andre three thousand. Definitely the
best player in that movie. So I'm glad you took him. If you
were going to take one, all right, Listen, at five foot ten,
his position is baller Billy Hoyle played by Woody Harrelson, and white men
can't jump. Gave him the slight edge over Wesley Snipes. That's fair enough.
That's fair enough. So you got Now you have a starting five,
so you'll have a sixth man, right, I got a six man?
All right? Let me take my fifth player in six man here. So
now, now there's a lot of good options still available, considering we have
completely different lists. I think we talked about one. I could take Will
Smith, the fresh Prince here. I'm not gonna do that. You get
Troy Bolton from high school musical, who obviously is an absolute stud. Ku.
I I want to take Monica Wright McCall from Loving Basketball to make my
team even sexier. But what I'm gonna do here to really bring in the
team cabaraderies. Take two people from the same show, from the same office.
Give me Jim Halpert and Kevin Malone. I don't know about that.
I don't know what do you mean. See Kevin Malone shoot a free thrown.
I'm not gonna hack Kevin though, Okay, I listened right now.
That's they canna run a nice two man game at the top of the key,
Jim Halford, Kevin Malone rounding out my six. All right, my
final pick here, and what a steal with my final pick here? An
absolute stud I could not find his height. But from the show Doug sky
Davis. Yeah, it's a class act. Yeah, he can dunked from
the free throw line. I don't even remember the character. He had a
shoe line he signed Doug's shoe. I had no idea what this guy is.
Sky Davis. Give him a Google Goo for the folks at home.
My starting five for animated fictional basketball players, not animated, just whatever.
You want to call fictional basketball players. I've got Airbud, teen Wolf,
Lola Bunny, Nathan Scott, Jim Halpert, and my sixth man, Kevin
Malone coming off the bench, whereas GOO has Elliott Richards, Calvin Cambridge Pound.
I'mreing three thousand fun from Tropic Thunder, not Tropic Thunder. What's the
other one? Semi pro air, Sky Davis? And who else did I
have? This is all over the place. Billy Hoyle. I might have
to start Kevin as my big now that I'm looking at it. Kevin's might
have to be my here, but he's got a nice touch around the rim.
I might put Billy Hoyle on the bench because I feel like he can
spark my second team. Oh that's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad.
I think I don't know. I think I have to start Lola,
or maybe I'll bring Lola off the bench, depending on what we need.
You know, because I got air Button, Teenwolf gotta start. They have
the most endurance. They can go the full forty forty eight whatever we're playing.
Nathan Scott's our alpha with teen Wolf, that's our top two. Maybe
Halpert's off the bench. One of the office guys might have to come off
the bench. I like my six, So head on over to social media.
Let's call it X and vote on who you think had the best team.
Let's get into Max and Max. That could be anything that could be
a vote in this week. Max, since we're on the topic of basketball,
I asked you for a mount rushmore of basketball songs. Should I go
first? Uh? Yeah, I didn't come up with a mount rushmore.
I just named two songs though. Oh but I like yours though, Mmm,
damn it the one that you have first, that's a good one.
So I think that Space Jam by the Quad ceddjs might be the best of
all time. Nothing gets me more jazzed. I think it's number two,
behind the one that you apparently don't like, the one that I forgd Oh
no, the other one. If you listen to that song recently. Yeah,
we'll talk about that in a second fifteen fifteen references in it. By
the way, the Quad City DJ is like jam Jump into the Jam,
Jam Jack, Great Jam Jam, Amazing. White Iverson by post Malone still
gets me. Saucin. You've you've mentioned Dwight Iverson on this podcast at least
like twelve times. I don't know how or why, but you have because
jokingly me and my wife used to say that it was our song, but
now I truly believe it is our song. You liked Posty before he really
became Posty, when he was still sort of in that weird like kind of
rapping stage, and now he's not really doing that anymore. But you have
liked post Malone from day one. I've always liked White Iverson. I've always
like the song White Iverson. Yeah, that's true. I'm so sad.
I'm so sad on you Basketball Jones by Barry White. Also on the Bass
Jam soundtrack, It's just Sexy Ship, what are you Gonna Do? And
the one that I just tossed on here because it's Globetrotters and that is a
sweet Georgia Brown. I think we can drop this and we put what you
had on here. And that is how I beat shack. Aaron Carter Alzheimer
boom boom, put it in the Hoopla slam slam. Heard the crowd screman
Now Jam Jam Jam, I swear I'm telling you the fast Now, that's
how all right? P Aaron Carter that that one's got to be up there
right our wheelhouse as Disney Kids as well. You think Basketball by Curtis Blow
stinks, which I think I think it's terrible. That's the number one all
time. So so the reason why is because my father in law was singing
it the other day basketball and my son, and my son's like, oh,
what's the song? And I'm like, okay, let's put it on
for him. Let's see see what he says. He heard the first verses
like Daddy, this song stinks, and I'm like, you know what it
does? Every verse has like three or four player references from the eighties.
It's fucking it. All I can think of is do you remember the Donald
Glover stand up that was kind of famous a couple of years ago. And
he's like, did you guys ever hear rap in the eighties? And it
just be like them picking up a hat being like, now I have this
hat and I'm gonna walk down the street and put on this hat. That's
what the song is. Basketball. It's my favorite rite sport. I like
the way there, that's the best line. I like the way they dribble
up and down the court. Fucking it tickles my brain and it's just something
that I didn't know I need scared. Yeah all time. Sample right there
too, that chorus that that little interlude right there that sucks, sucks,
No, you suck, and then go a nice one that came out I
don't know fifteen twenty years ago, I was on a Little Wayne mixtape.
I don't even think it was on an album. Is Kobe Bryant Little Wayne?
That's a good one as well. All right, so you guys go
on social media, tell us your mount Rushmore of basketball songs. What a
basketball extravaganza this was, Yeah, what a time. It was a real
March Madness segment. Here in April. You had told me, I don't
think this episode goes beyond twenty minutes. But what you didn't realize is that
I watched Double Teams. I think contributions to this podcast. You forty minutes,
me five minutes. I watched Double Teams. Guys, I watched the
full movie. I recommend you watch the name. I watched a movie with
the same title. It was just a different plot. And what's great is
that when you search it on Disney Plus, that pops up and then luck
of the Irish pops up and anything else that they have to do with basketball,
and I'm like, I wish I was watching those. Yeah, yeah,
I agree. Yeah. I think what stems from this is one of
these days weeks we'll end up doing like all those Disney originals, We'll do
with top ten or something like that, or even just ten that we've seen,
or maybe we'll teer them. We can tear them. If I've seen
them, I've definitely seen all of it. I just can't think of any
of them. I think i've you know which one I uh? Or it
might have been a show? What was the show? Was Brink? The
uh was the mother the mother in uh double Team? I forget her name.
She's kind of like on the eyes tell you that much. Did she
have that show where she was on the road and Brink was her son?
The jersey, No, not the jersey. I hated the jersey. She
was like a rock star guitar. I don't know if it was Brink that
was her son, though, Oh, I just I don't remember if it
was a show or a movie. Well, now I'm thinking of that show
that was on Disney. Was it called like like Weird something or like Strange
something, and it was like that little psychic girl, are you thinking of
that's so raven. No, that's a different show. This one she could
see ghosts, Secret Life of Alex Matt. No, this one she could
see ghosts, she ghosts. Yeah, sounds this would be in a block
with the famous Jet Jackson. Oh, I don't remember this one at all.
I also like when you had mentioned this to me last night, I
was on Wikipedia looking at all like the titles, and when I would see
like three good ones in a row, I'm like, Wow, what a
fucking run of Disney Channel original movies they did? They have aen On,
Prank and Smart House all in a row. They had like a three or
four year probably like ninety eight to two or ninety seven to one, all
bangers. Yeah, so we'll do that eventually. Mac, where can the
people find us? You can find us on Twitter and on Instagram, at
Mac and Goop podcast. Every other platform it's Mac and for sand Good it's
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More importantly, we're on Apple Podcasts. Get on their rate review,
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com merge over there right now, buy some shirts. Check us out at
the end of the week for a news dump and we'll have to think of
something else for Monday, because we are just we're reaching, we're reaching at
this point. Yeah. We did our basketball podcast though, right ideas and
I thought it was a real Actually, we'll be doing hockey, you know,
hockey soon. I'm gonna be baseball any football. I don't think other
sports have the great scenes like basketball does, though I could I did.
Does Airbud have a hockey movie or just a football you're thinking of m VP
most Valuable Primate. I'm not thinking of it. I think you're thinking the
most valuable primate as Airbod is a great football movie too. Yeah, that's
a golden receiver right there, you go, there you go. Yeah,
is anything compared to the first one, though, Like no, with the
snack packs and the and the fucking creepy clown, Like that's the best one.
All right, let's let's beat the buzzer here. Mac Ah Tuesdays are
Goosdays. I abuse kangaroos, dam Burton. Please flip the cassette over to
side B to continue the adventure.