This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf I AM six forty,
the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app KFI AM six forty.
You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show, and I am taking your calls. If you would like me to
wait in on your love life, I would be happy to do that.
The phone number is one eight hundred five two zero one five three four.
That's one eight hundred five to two zero one KFI. Reminder, I'm not
a therapist. I'm a psychology professor, but I'm obsessed with the science of
love and I've written three books on relationships. So bring it on. I've
got some answers. Producer Kayla, who do we have? We have Janine
with a question. Janine, Hi, Janine, It's doctor Wendy. Hi,
Doctor Wendy, thank you for taking my call. Basically, what okay?
So I'm fifty years old and I've been divorced for about ten years.
I haven't been on a date in about ten years, and outside of social
media, how do I find men that are in my situation? I've gotten
to the grocery stores. You know, I'm in the grocer stores, I'm
in the bank, so I mean, you know, I'm all over the
place, but I'm not nobody's coming up to me. I mean, there's
just you know. So, Janine, let me tell you to do.
The world has changed since you've dated. Okay, you haven't dated in ten
years. I will tell you that nobody is talking to anybody in public anymore.
They're afraid that it'll be perceived as sexual harassment. They're afraid that they're
going to be seen as creepy. In fact, I know a woman near
your age who recently said, I want to get back into the dating scenes.
So I'm going to join a gym because back in the eighties and nineties
that's where we met everybody. And then she said, oh, everybody's got
their headphones on. Now nobody talks to you at the gym. The only
place to meet people is on the dating apps. Now, I want to
be very clear that there's going to be a learning curve for you, Janine.
It is very difficult at the beginning because you think that just because there's
a match that oh my god, they really like you. But no,
it works like this what women do when they look at somebody's profile and a
dating app is they scrutinize everything the person says. They look at that photograph
the guy has and everything behind him. Is that a couch from restoration hardware
or akia? What is that? Right? And then they gingerly say I'm
gonna like this person. And then they're like, oh my god, it's
a match. It's amazing. Do you know why it's a match? Almost
one hundred percent of the time, ladies, because men do the opposite.
They try to click on every single woman possible and just see who's interested in
them. So don't get too excited. Secondly, there are people who get
satisfied just by having four or five people on the apps at their messaging all
day long, and they never get together in the real world. So trying
to get somebody off an app and into the real world is also an art.
And the answer is give him your phone number, get on the phone.
If they don't, call ghost, and move along to somebody else.
So I want to say, Janine, get on the apps. Be prepared
for a learning curve. It's a little bit different. There are some skills
that you will learn, maybe the hard way. But that's where to meet
people at any age, and you can search by age, so it'll be
fine. Good luck to you. I'm very excited that you've got to do
this. Okay, Producer, Kayla, who do we have next? We
have Will with a comment? Okay, Will, you've got a comment.
It's doctor Wendy. Wendy love your show and it's very special. And I've
heard every word you've said about writing, so I'm going to say, oh,
good in role in that. And when I was very young and don't
remember my age, but I was abused by a family member. I so
sorry, and I remember immediately after that, I mean the timelines, it's
all sort of uh, you know, crowded together. But I started stealing,
first from family members and then from you know, just like I became
what I later coined as kryptomaniac. And by the way, drugs kleptomania.
Kleptomania is associated with little spikes of dopamine. There's a little bit of feel
good when you get away with something, and you were suffering from what sounds
like sexual abuse that you endured by this family member, and so it's totally
understandable. My question for you is will have you reached out to a licensed
therapist to go to process this trauma? I did, uh when I was
engaged and I saw a therapist and his explanation at the time, and it
happened to be the fuller of a classmate of mine. I went to a
private school, and I just he was the closest that I thought. And
when he told me that there are certain things that just happened within family and
it's natural, and I didn't buy it. Oh, I'm glad you didn't
buy it. Somebody a therapist actually told you that this is normal and natural
to happen in families. Yeah, And when he I have to mention that
I had one other situation later on in my life and these weren't traumatic in
terms of force to anything. No, kids always blame themselves, and so
during that period of time, the rape included a lot of conversation about being
with a girl and you know, patchy feelee, and I wound up at
a very young age reaching out to one of my classmates who was the only
one that was maturing to feel her breasts and man, I was in isolation
for a week and that sent me into a state of a long period of
time where I would dream that I was just alone in a room and it
was dark, and that was I was just be and that's how I wound
up using my escape through chemical through chemical dependence. Yeh, I would just
be there, so will. First of all, I want to thank you
for being so open and honest and sharing these stories with us. And I'm
sure part of processing your trauma is telling these stories. But I can't encourage
you enough to reach out again find a different licensed therapist so that you can
work through it. And thank you so much for telling me that doing some
writing and journaling is something that you're going to begin to do more of because
it can certainly help you. Secrets are the things that hurt us the most.
Well, thank you for your bravery for sharing this, and please please
reach out to a licensed therapist so you can get the care that you need
to get over some of this trauma. Oh it's heartbreaking, ah yeah yeah
yeah yeai. And it's so common too, so so common. All right,
let me turn to the dms are coming in on social media and Kayla's
been handing them to me before my eyes. These are very sensitive things.
Not everybody is like our last caller who can talk about major trauma on the
radio. I hope he did change his name, by the way, So
let me go to some things that people write on social media, and I'll
never reveal your name if you send me a DM and we talk about it
on air. So, dear doctor Wendy, just curious if I'm overthinking or
not. But this guy who says he likes me also has a lot of
female best friends and takes them places, posting photos with pet names. Am
I just overthinking this or is this a red flag? Well, I'm gonna
tell you a little story. I once dated someone briefly who had a harem
of women in his life as friends. And I said to him, you
know, this is kind of watering down the milk. How are you able
going to focus on me as a relationship if you have this emotional intimacy with
all these other women, and you know you're sort of spreading yourself around as
a safety feature, right, Well, if I lose this one, I've
got this one, et cetera. And he said to me, well,
I am not going to get rid of any of the women in my hairm.
He wasn't having sex with them, but they were all very close intimate
friends and I just said, okay, thank you, goodbye, right because
it didn't work for me. And yes, it is a red flag because
the whole point, the thing that keeps long term committed relationships together is emotional
intimacy. And really, people will complain that their partner is having emotional intimacy
with some other woman and it feels like a betrayal in some way. So
yeah, it's a big red flag, big big es. The pet names,
the pictures on social media. M I don't know, uh, dear
doctor Wendy, My situationship wants to cut off intimacy whenever I show emotions other
than positive and happy. How do I talk to him about this? Well,
you described it as a situationship. A situationship generally has some very clear
rules. Check your emotions at the door, don't bring them. A situationship
is like a series of hookups. Now, I want to tell everybody it
is very common for women to fall in love with someone they've made a commitment
to only have a hookups with because their bodies emit so much oxytocin, which
is the bonding hormone. The only other time in a woman's life where her
bodies emit that much oxytocin is during breastfeeding to help her bond with her baby.
So women will inadvertently fall in love with somebody, even if after they've
said this is just a situationship, and it sounds like you're trying to show
vulnerability to him, and he's saying, I only want to have positive and
happy, keep it light and fun. So if you need more, this
is not the dude to get it from. You need to get it from
a different relationship where you can have the whole package, because it's not going
to happen in the situationship. All right, when we come back, I've
got more social media for you. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six forty. Welcome
back to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show and KFI AM six forty live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. All right, going to social media. Did you guys
send me those dms all week long? And I have time sometimes to think
about them. Sometimes Kayles sends them to me early, and they drift around
in my head, like what would I tell this person? Sometimes, of
course she just shoves them under my nose right at the beginning here, and
I look at them and kind of figure it out. Reminder, I'm not
a therapist. I'm a psychology professor. But I've written three books on relationships,
and I'm obsessed with the signs of love and I've had a lot of
heartbreak in my life, so I'm happy to share my wisdom. All right,
Dear doctor Wendy says this listener, is it appropriate for your boyfriend to
go on a mixed gender trip without you? My boyfriend said he might go
to cacou Can kun ooh, Mexico bathing suits gee strings up with a group
that has females and males. He had the trip planned before we got serious.
And I don't know his group of friends. That's that. Well,
that's why I'm not going. Uh Okay, So how do I answer this?
First of all, let's I don't know how long you've been together.
So you say that's why you're not going because you don't know the people.
Well, but where you even invited? And you should have been invited?
Maybe unless you've been going out so like it's only been a few weeks or
you know, less than a few months, and so this is really still
a new relationship and is kind of undefined, and so you don't really have
a say and what he does or where he goes. I guess the question
is to you know, how you're you're not. You haven't built trust yet,
And I think that's the common to have is say, hey, it
feels a little weird. Are you going on a vacation where there are going
to be single women who I don't know. We haven't been seeing each other
long enough for me to go with you, and we haven't established great trust.
Yeah, you got to say this. You got to have this conversation.
So then you might ask a question like what could we do to help
me feel safer about this? He might say, well, how about I'll
FaceTime you every day, and how about i'll introduce you to my friends.
Why don't we all go out to dinner before we go or something. There
might be all kinds of things that could calm you down, all right,
but you got to bring it up. These are your feelings and this is
the road to intimacy. Okay, moving on, this one from Instagram.
Dear doctor Wendy, I'm newly dating a guy for two months and he's got
fifty to fifty custody of his kids. He works nights and I work days.
Why are you dating? I just want to pause right there, like,
there's some basic things about relationships that we should be thinking. Like,
for instance, when I was looking for love, I wanted somebody who was
around my age. I wanted somebody who had kids around my age. I
wanted somebody who worked in an industry that he understood my industry. These were
basic parameters so that our lives would match. So you go and meet this
guy whose works all night and you work all day. Usually we have Sunday
to see each other. That's when we see each other. I'm new to
dating someone with children, So my question is is one day sufficient enough?
Well, by the way you're describing it, it's going to be twice a
month because he's got his kids, and I don't believe in meeting his kids
until you've been together for at least six months, if not a year.
So answer to your questions, no, no, it's not enough to build
a relationship. I mean, not a relationship that you want to be in
the real world together. You guys can see each other two days a month.
Then you say he's consistent with his text and his phone call every day.
I guess I'm really starting to like him. I want to see him
more. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. You're gonna start to like him
more. You're gonna want to see him more, and you won't be able
to see him more. I'm not feeling good about this one. I'm really
not. This is my take. You can play it out until somebody changes
jobs, whatever, but we'll see it's not I don't think it's gonna work.
Just don't. Okay, move it on, Dear doctor Wendy. I
was dating this woman who I really liked. I found out that she posted
my picture in a Facebook group. My sister is in to see if she
could get any tea on me. Oh busted. I'm really turned off.
But I tend to cut people off too quickly. Should I talk to her
about it or just that her trust issues are a red flag? Okay?
I just want to tell all the men out there in the world that there
are plenty of groups for women where women are out there when they start dating
a new guy. They post it on Facebook groups or other kinds of websites
and say, anybody dated this guy, anybody know anything about him? This
is called girlfriend to girlfriend gorilla research, and guys, you are on dating
apps even when you're married. You're on dating apps when you're juggling four or
five women. We have every right to use technology to do a little bit
of research on you. I don't think that she necessarily has trust issues.
I think she's doing what every modern single woman does nowadays. I'm sorry your
sister was in the group. I think you should bring it up in a
lighthearted, comical way. Hey, by the way, you got a little
busted you try to do some research on me, and guess what my sister
was in that group? Ha ha ha. Laugh about it. Make it
cute. She has every right to check up on you, because I'm sorry.
There are so many lying people out there, of all genders, lots
of lying people. Uh okay, dear doctor Wendy, I've been dating this
guy for about two months. Look at this. This is like three people
two months, two months. That's where it gets nerve wracking. I think
we haven't talked about us, but in the first day we both said we
were dating with intentions. See I always say that with intention, so I
think that's covered. He wants me to stay over at his place, but
I don't want to until I know he's not seeing someone else. That's fair.
Do you normally wait until he brings up the topic? No? Okay?
Men, don't bring this up? Or do you ask if he's seeing
someone else? You ask? That's all you do. Do you do it
in person or in a message? You do it in person or on the
phone. This is not for text. I want to handle it respectfully,
says this person. Look, until you feel comfortable with somebody, you should
not do anything that makes you feel awkward, whether it's engaging in a sex
act that you're not ready for, whether it's sleeping over at their house.
And so the way you do it is you say, hey, I really
appreciate the imitation to sleep over. Our relationship is so new it almost feels,
at two months a little new to be having the what are we conversation?
However, having said that, it feels awkward for me to be sleeping
over if there's a chance that you're dating anybody else. So when you get
to a place where you want to be exclusive with me, then talk to
me about sleeping over. That's all you do. You just bring it up,
you talk about it. Why is everybody so afraid to say the truth.
I'll tell you why. Because people's fear of abandonment is bigger than their
fear that they're going to get hurt. Isn't that weird? You're gonna get
hurt anyway with the abandonment. I always say, do the touchdown cheer when
they go running because you asked a simple, honest question, right, Cheer,
be excited if he goes, well, you know it's too early to
know, and you should just sleep bow he goes, all the other women
sleep over, No, just let him run away if he needs to.
Everybody out there, men and women, ask the question. You don't have
to ask it in an adversarial way or a confrontational way. You can ask
it with the sweetest, calmest voice that you have and stay on your own
feelings. Right, talk about how this makes you feel. It is always
my pleasure to weigh in on your love lives. When we come back,
though, I am turning the tables over to parenting a little bit, because
if we want our kids to have good, healthy relationships. We need to
raise resilient kids. When we come back the five rs of Raising Resilient Children.
You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show and KFI AM six forty
one Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on
demand from KFI AM six forty Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on
KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. So remember earlier in
the show, we were talking about how unhappy our youth are in America.
It's a very disturbing statistic. Yet it seems that parents are working harder than
ever to make their children happy. They have become entertainment counsels, they have
become consolers, helicopter parents, snow plow parents. I love that. One
one of my kids grade school teachers use this snow plow parents. You know
what that is. They go out ahead of the kid and they plow a
path for them, so life is easy, breezy. They could just ski
on through that snow. Well. The truth is, raising a happy kid
means learning how to raise a resilient kid because life isn't easy. And in
fact, as I tell my college students, life is actually a series of
problems to be solved, and every day there's a new problem or a new
set of problems. So if we're trying to remove problems from our kids' lives,
that's not actually helping them. There's a great book I recommend called The
Five Principles of Parenting, Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans. It's written
by doctor Eliza Pressman. She is a developmental psychologist and co founder of the
Mount Sinai Parenting Center. She has come up with the five rs to raise
resilient kids, and the first one is the one I have been preaching for
decades. That first R is relationships. Having a strong, safe, secure
relationship with your child. Making sure that they have consistent caregivers who they can
rely on, making sure that they are not punished for their thoughts and for
their words, that they feel safe to tell you everything. When they know
they can go to you for any problem in the world, it helps them
handle adversity better. Right, So, the most important thing with your kids,
especially with dual working parents, is that every child has at least twenty
minutes of special mommy and Daddy time every day. That means no other kids
in the room. That means it's child led activities. They get to choose
what to do and all they do is trust that you'll be there to watch
them. Then they know in their heart and in their mind that they have
somebody else they can rely on and trust. Okay, Reflection teaching your kids
to reflect on what has happened in the day. One trick that parents use
is they'll say highlights lowlights around the dinner table. What was the highlight of
your day? What was the low light of the day. What could you
have done differently with this day? So what do you hope to do differently
tomorrow. Taking time to reflect on the day helps your kids get out of
that emotional funk of feeling shame about whatever happened and instead get into the prefrontal
cortex of problem solving, but also taking time to teach your kids how to
relax their brain. Reflection also involves a little bit of meditation, whether it's
just breathing, spending time in silence doing nothing, not reaching for a phone
or an iPad or a TV anytime there's a moment of silence. But teaching
your kids that it's okay to have just quiet time, to just relax the
mind, all right. Number three regulation. I saw parents say on social
media the other day, you are your child's substitute prefrontal cortex until it's fully
developed. We know their prefrontal cortex, the part of their brain that controls
things, manages feelings, and impulses, et cetera. Is involved in planning
and thinking about consequences. That is not fully developed until someone's about twenty five
years old. So they've got to borrow our prefrontal cortex. We've got to
lend it to them by helping them stop themselves, helping them calm down.
Sometimes I used to say that kids are a sponge, right, so they're
going to get whatever feeling we have or how we're behaving. One of my
kids had a lot of anxiety when they were little, a lot of scared
of monsters under the beds, et cetera. And I used to have her
lie with her ear on my heart, and rather than me calming her,
I work to regulate myself. I calmed my body, deep breathing, I
relaxed, right, And kids can actually learn how to self regulate by first
co regulating and yes. Some of it is using a prefrontal cortex to say
no, I'm not going to let you do that. That's too dangerous.
Times it's just about holding them close, calming your own body so they can
learn to calm themselves. Now. The other are fourth of five, if
you're counting, is rules. Kids don't do well with no rules. Kids
also don't do well with too many rules. I always say the two parents
that don't work well are the brick wall parents the kids are always slamming into,
or the jellyfish parents who don't feel safe. Because the kids can walk
through things, they need parents who have a flexible backbone. They need parents
who have good bumpers. So that means giving them boundaries, don't let them
run wild. And then all of a sudden, because the jellyfish parents often
flip and become the brick wall parents when they've just had enough right instead having
consistent boundaries and logical consequences, not punishment, logical consequences for some of those
boundaries. And finally, the fifth are for cre eating resilient kids is repair.
Learning how to fix things when we break them, including hurting other people's
feelings. Often the most important thing in relationships isn't whether you fight or not.
It's about how repair is made afterwards. Learning that kids need to learn
that we're all human, we all make mistakes, we say and do things,
and yes, sometimes repair can literally be they broke someone's window with a
baseball and they've got to now hold a bunch of lemonade stands until they can
pay to help repair that window. Sometimes it's about teaching them how to repair
relationships, how to say I'm sorry, and you do that through modeling.
You do that by having healthy relationships yourself and mom and dad. That's the
biggest thing. Remember, you're not supposed to make your child feel happy.
You're supposed to live your life as a good person in front of them.
You're supposed to not spiral down into tantrums and falling apart. You show them
how you can hold it together, how you can make repair and relationships,
how you can regulate yourself. If you do that, remember the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree. Hey, mom and dad, or if you're
not a parent, everybody else can we talk when we come back. But
how to create a little more meaning in our life. There's lots of research
to show that people who have the best mental health, less depression, less
anxiety, tend to believe that they're here for a reason, that their life
is important, that they matter. Well, there are things we can actually
all be doing on the regular to have more meaning in our lives. Talk.
Let's talk about it when we come back. You are listening to the
Dr Wendy Wall Show and KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six
forty. Welcome back the Homestretch that the Doctor shows every Sunday from seven to
nine pm. You know, there is a search for meaning in all of
our lives, and our lives the meaning, the purpose, the reason for
being craison changes as we go across the lifespan. Sometimes the meaning in our
life is about being part of the tribe of our family of origin, honoring
our parents. Other times it's about figuring out identity who we are as a
young person sexually, politically, gender wise, job wise, career wise,
relationship wise, and then maybe the meaning is about raising kids and then later
or maybe career and then after these various achievements, there comes a time where
we have to sit around and go, Wow, what now? What is
my meaning? Now? There's lots of research to point to the fact that
when people believe that their life is valuable, that there's a reason why they're
living, that there's in their life, they're happier, they have better lives
in there, they have better relationships. So here are some tips on how
you can create more meaning in your life. The first is to live your
values. Your values, ask yourself what brings you feelings of joy? You
know, this week, I was reading many emails that come to me because
I'm on all kinds of email newsletter lists, and one is from Apricot Lane
Farms. I don't know if you've heard of them. There was a documentary
done on these this couple who put together this organic farm. Maybe you see
their produce and wares at various farmers' markets around Los Angeles. They have a
great documentary called I think it's called The Littlest Big Farm or the Biggest Little
Farm. I get it mixed up the Biggest Little Farm. And it's about
the trials and tribulations of growing in organic farm and dealing with it and sustainability
and composed etc. And I saw their newsletter this week they were selling tickets
for tours and I asked Julio, Hey, do you want to go with
me? To say, oh, no, I'm working that day, and
my daughter's like, she's in school and I could call up a friend,
but it's really far. And then I was like, you know what,
I just want to go. This is for me, this is something I
have an interest in. This is called living your values. Doing things that
bring you joy for no reason except that it brings you joy. So ask
yourself what your passions are, what your interests are, what drives you,
what gets you excited? Right? What does success mean to you? Also,
don't compare yourself to others. Don't worry about what they are doing.
Just think about you. It's really important to not let envy creep in while
you're trying to reassess your life and create more meaning and value to your life.
Now, there's also tons of research to show. You know, we
always talk about gratitude. It's very important that we think about gratitude, but
there's science to it. Okay, that old fashioned idea of counting your blessings,
showing appreciation for what you do have in your life. Embracing the good
around you. Sometimes it means just looking at the little things and saying to
yourself, well, that was a great little thing that happened. You know,
in the past few days, I've found not one, but two lucky
pennies. Now, you know, it means nothing. The penny is worth
very little. It falls out of people's pockets, falls out of people's purses.
They are in parking lots apparently everywhere nowadays. But the fact that I
found two in two days, I have decided to attribute a special feeling to
it. Right So there are ways, though that we can work to create
this kind of counting our blessings and our gratitude. We can write letters to
somebody who's had a positive impact on our life. We could literally write down
and create a list of things that we're grateful for, sometimes just stopping and
feeling thankful. Today I mentioned I was hiking in Santa Monica Mountains. It
was so green, and there were moments where I just stood and I looked
at the multicolors of green and the spring blooms, and I just felt so
thankful for this view. Also, having been in New York earlier in the
week, which felt like a concrete jungle compared to the beauty we live in
around Greater Los Angeles. I was just like, I was amazed at it
all. All right. Another thing we can do to create a little more
meaning is our lives is just keep an eye out for small stuff that feels
big. I mentioned the two pennies. Okay, they're small stuff, I
made them feel big to me. So when I was on my flight back
from New York on Friday, super packed, super long flight, I was
on standby, so I'm lucky to get a seat. So I had to
go down to class, sitting there and coach squished in not a whole lot
of service. At a certain point, I was like, you know,
I just need a glass of wine. I know they're not serving it in
this coach here. I'm going to go to the back. I'm gonna find
a flight attendant. I'm gonna pull out my credit card. I'm gonna buy
myself a glass of wine so I can get through this flight. So I
go to the back. The flight attendants are busy on their computers and with
their newspapers and magazines, so I have to go behind the curtain and interrupt
them, and sim so sorry could I possibly bother you to purchase a glass
of wine. Woman finds me a little bottle of wine, hands it to
me. I hand her my credit card and she smiles and she goes Happy
Easter, Love, enjoy. I felt so special at that moment. I
was like, Wow, there's a little meaning. There's a woman who hope
she's not getting fired because I said this, who did a little sweet thing
for me for no reason, and I decided to make it a big deal
in my head. Right, I appreciated things. I appreciate nature and the
sound of birds no matter where I am, even in New York, I
heard them. Sometimes I hug my partner or my young adult kid for no
reason other than I just want some dopamine. I want to give them some
dopamine, and I just appreciate them. Sometimes I appreciate the fact that I'm
physically able to clean my room spotlessly and change the sheets and get into a
fresh bed in the evening. That feels so good. So you decide what
it is small things I want you to discover in your life and create big
meaning around them. Also, focus on positive relationships. I say this all
the time. I had the good fortune to see a friend in New York
for a very brief dinner late at night. We hadn't seen each other in
a couple of years, and it was just so great to catch up.
I have a best friend, Maria. We talk on the phone every single
day. Whenever one of us gets on the freeway in the morning, the
other Oh, I have to tell you a funny story. So the other
day, I'm sitting at electric car charger, flipping through my phone, going
through our emails, and my phone rings and I answer and I say hello,
and the girl goes, uh, oh, my god, I just
got on the ninety one. The traffic so bad. But I want to
hear what happened last night before I get I think we got a good action,
can you hear me? And she's right into the conversation about her day,
and I say, hello, who is this? And she said it's
Sevilla And I'm like, I, Syvia, who are you calling? And
she's laughing because she's quite sure. She goes, I said this, she
said, Audrey. I said, this isn't Audrey. She goes, yes,
it is. Your picture's on my phone. I see it's Audrey and
I'm like, I don't know what technical problem we're having. But this is
not Audrey, and I'm like, have a great day, but try and
dial her again. But the thing that was funny about it is we're both
laughing, is that I'm not the only one who gets on the phone in
the morning, connects with some close friend and just starts rattling away on LA
freeways. Right. I encourage you to do more than that, as much
as you can spend time with positive people, see them in the real world.
There's also research to show that nostalgia's really good for us. By the
way, so reminiscing with friends and family, thinking about the past. You
know, today, Julie and I stopped at one of our favorite places to
have lunch, the Old Place in that tiny little town of Cornell. That's
where how do you even describe where that is? It's kind of Calabasis,
and it's kind of a gor and it's kind of Maliboun, it's kind of
Santamonica Mountains. I don't actually know. I can't explain where the Old Place
is, but if you've been there, it's the most adorable place. And
we'd love to sit outside and have a bite and talk. And I said,
remember at the beginning of our relationship. Remember, we used to do
this all the time. It's nice to get to do it once in a
while again. So think about nostalgia. What can you do with a friend
or family or lover that you haven't done in a long time. Revisit it
because I want you to have meaning and I want you to have happiness in
your life. And that, my dear friends, brings the Doctor Wendy Wall's
show to a close. I am always here for you every Sunday from seven
to nine pm on KFI. But in addition, I run a Patreon group.
We talk about everything. It's a great little group on a zoom room
on Wednesday nights at six thirty. So if you want to join that,
you just go to Patreon dot com slash doctor Wendy Walsh. Also, my
social media everywhere is at doctor Wendy Walsh. But I'm always here for you
on KFI Am six forty. You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show
on KFI Am six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening
to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear us live on KFI Am six
forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.