Anyway, welcome to Lori Kane after Dark. Happy holidays. We're almost at
Christmas and we are wearing our fancy gifts that Eric and I gave each other,
the TMU Christmas that keeps on giving. I'm wearing my outfit. Eric's
wearing his outfit, which we will soon show you full length because his hash
shoes that are involved and mine have pants that are involved. Oh my god.
Uh So, anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying this week.
A lot of people have this week off too. A lot of people take
these two weeks off. I remember I used to take these two weeks off
when I was fancy and had like a really fun, fancy radio job.
That was really cool to have two weeks off. But Evan is in town,
which is great. She got back from New York City and so she's
here. And then Charlie comes to town in right after Christmas. So I'm
gonna have both kids under the same roof at the same time for the first
time in years. I am beside myself with joy. It's the that's all
I need for Christmas time. Look like the Grand Marshall for Vegas Gay Pride.
Just wait, do you see the whole. Oh my god, I'd
like a fabulous USSR office. Wow, this is is outstanding. I mean
you you one hands down case. Thank you, You're welcome, Thank you.
I appreciate that you look like you work on the Red October this submarine.
Yeah fans, super fancy. Yeah. Okay, So we are Laura
Kane after Dark. I'm Laura Kane. This is Eric Grimmer, my co
host producer Bryan over here, and we have to pick a name tonight.
We're going to pick the name tonight the winner of our magical holiday box,
worth over twelve hundred dollars. Now we've shown you what's in it, but
let's show you what has just been added this week. Okay, just this
week, our favorite Crack Tacos gave us fifty dollars in food. Anything you
want from Crack Tacos. Oh my god, that sounds so good right now?
Does say? It really does? Now? Glam SD gave us Lash
Extensions. You can get classic, you can get semi volume or full on
volume. But this is worth between one hundred and ninety five and like two
hundred and seventy five dollars something like outstanding. And this nice woman, Anne
who does who does the lashes of Claya some of the girls at the Dolphins
Club. She donated this to us, so thank you very much. And
then Bravo donated a pillow made by Craig Conover from the show Southern Charm.
And here's the pillow. And maybe you have a firefighter in your life or
a Dalmatian. You might really like that. They're really nice. Maybe lack
of pillows in your house. Right, there you go. That has been
added to the box. So we'll pick a name. You still have a
little bit of time to enter. Every five dollars you donate get you an
entry into another box. So if you donate twenty bucks, you get four
entries, and there you go. That would be great. If you won
this, we will pick a name and you will be notified and I will
announce it also on social media. Okay, thank you to all of you
guys who have donated and helped the girls at doll Face Club Sober Living.
Thank you guys go on field trips or buy toilet paper or anything that they
need in the home. It's much needed and it's much appreciated, So thank
you so much. It's the holiday spirit. Okay, before we talk about
our fantastic sponsors. As we end out this year, I want you to
open up a present that I forgot to give to you. God, I
can't imagine it being any more hideous than what I've already got on now.
It was supposed to come with something else, but it didn't. It didn't.
But you can easily do this yourself. Oh, it's a diy.
It's kind of like a magic trick sort of. Will it make this outfit
disappear? No, it might actually add to it. And if I had
the tool, I would What is it a tongue. It's a tongue.
Oh, you put it. It's a tongue that stretches. You put it
in your mouth and you can stretch it and make people think you have a
really long tongue, and then you pierce it. You can pierce the tongue.
But it didn't come with the piercer. Oh anyway, it smells really
bad, and so I don't know if you're gonna want to put it in
your mouth, but actually do it anyway, because I think you need to
discuss terrible. Put it in your mouth. Let's see, Okay, put
in your mouth and let's stretch it so stupidue right off, okay, gross.
Coming up on January ninth, which is a Tuesday Live, we have
Monique Ramsey from La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center and Medspot. She's going to tell
us about some of the new things going on there, some of the specials
happening, and just all about any questions that you have. She hosts a
podcast herself, it's the Lahoya Cosmetic Podcast. And anyway, here's more about
our sponsor, La Joya Cosmetic. LaToya Cosmetic Surgery Center is the place to
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you right now. Free consultations too. The very best in the business is
in our own backyard. How lucky are we? Make sure you tell them
that. Laura Kane after Dark sent you We love everything about La joya cosmetic
surgery center. Go to glamfam dot com. I'd love to give a special
shout out to a man who has been with us for over a year as
a sponsor, as a friend, as a confidant. He's become somebody.
He's really important in our lives. His name is Jay Wortzlur. You're Capital
Growth Ink. He's a money manager and he is just quality people. I
love to surround ourselves with quality, wonderful people. He's one of those people.
Here's more about his company, Capital Growth Ink. Are you ready to
take control of your financial future? Look no further than Jay Wartzler. You're
trusted and our favorite certified financial planner. Life is full of financial decisions and
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Jay Wartzler and the team at Capital Growth go the extra mile to ensure your
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planning, tax preparation, and divorce analysis. Call Ja today at eight five
eight five five two six' nine six zero or email him at jayw at
Capitolgrowthinc dot com. And I bought several gifts from San Diego Crystals and Jewelry,
one of them being some really nice earrings for my son's fiance and she
love them. Not these heck No. San Diego Crystals and Jewelry located on
Newport in ob They sell crystals and they sell jewelry, and they fix jewelry
and they make jewelry, custom made bracelets, necklaces, earrings, anything you
can think of, any kind of stone you can think of, and they
know everything about them if you tell them when you walk in there, Hey,
I heard about you guys on lourcing after jar Guess what I'll get an
amethyst free nice and they might even give you a deal because they're that nice
of guys. They're great eight brothers and they just open their news store on
Prospect in La Joya, and that one is nice right across the street from
and they have scarves in there too, and wooden boxes, one of which
is in our magical box. So we love them. Thank you so much,
guys San Diego Christmas and jewelry. Make sure you go in and tell
them the lore again after Dark sent you. That would be awesome, And
thank you so much for supporting us this year. It means a lot to
us. We made it through another year. We did. And let me
just say that come January, things are gonna look a whole lot different around
it. There are and I changed. It's gonna be so good. It's
gonna look great. We're gonna look so much more professional. This desk bye
bye. This whole body you're gonna now see, and this whole body you're
gonna now see. I know, I know, I know. I'm excited.
I producer is gonna wear sunglasses while he works now so he sees less.
Oh my god. So many people said, does this mean Brian has
to work for free because of the Keanu stuff, like no studio I meet
the man. It was the only Yeah, that was the that was the
rule. I'm working on it. I know, Oh god, my expectations
are low now because I got a good way of what I wanted. So
I'm happy now. Well, I know that was phenomenal, incredible. Your
reaction was just priceless. So while here's my host, Chad. While I
was searching and so happily for all the horrible things that I found you for
Christmas, I found some things for myself that weren't so horrible, that looked
nice, like some like like like a lip class, like like a makeup
palette. And I also saw some it's like an eyebrow grooming kit. Uh
huh, Well, one of them came with like scissors. It's a brush
that has like little scissors attached. Wouldn't you know that I pretty much just
chopped my eyebrows right on off. I was kind of wondering, your eyebrows
looked a little thinner today. Whole he your whole here you can't see because
I put eyebrow pencil on. But like, I cut a hole right here
in the middle, and a hole right here, And what did I just
do? Eyebrows don't grow back that fast, So now I'm always gonna have
to wear eyebrow pencil. I screwed myself with my TEAMU purchase. But I
gotta tell you what else did I buy from Temu that came that I loved?
Oh oh, I can't tell you about the couches. The couches are
part of our new set, but I'll please tell me they didn't come from
I've been sitting on the couch. No no, no, not the couches,
but the things on top of the couches. Did the really soft fun
thing? Nice? Yeah, super nice, super nice. So anyway,
quick host chat because we're gonna make this one quick because we want to show
real quick. Did you guys want to get up and show your efforts?
That's exactly sorry, So I'm gonna go first. This is what we're gonna
do. We're gonna model. I have two to model. You do you
just have the one because yours is a complete package. But let me put
my sunglasses back on. This is my first stout fit and you know what,
not all that not too bad? And I did the French tuck.
You know what the French tuck is? You know what a French tuck is?
Your winger between your legs, like the French tug is when you kind
of like half tuck, just part of oh yes, your pants. And
when I did that, the outfit looked a little bit more palatable. So
here we go. I'm going over to Oh god, all right, look,
you're look insane but not horrifying. I'd run the other way. I'd
run the other way. Quit. That's Eric Stern. Eric Stern while I
go change. Oh yes, all right, fabulous stalling, get up here.
So I've got the Oh my god, I've got the shoes on.
He barely did it. This is what well, it shows a lot fre
there. There we go. God, Okay, oh my god, Lord
stpt changing in public. Oh gosh, well, captain fabulous. I got
the shoes on too. Yeah, shoes are bad, dus, They're absolutely
awful. They go, they go nicely with your rainbow bulge though, God,
thank you. I know, Oh my god. I didn't realize that
until he stood up. I was like, okay, oh god, oh
god, oh my god, wait give it the friend my do the French
tucks. They can see your well, Oh my god, okay, oh
wow that is sad. Wow you look stunning. You're just a vision of
loveliness. Yeah, I'm stunned say that also on Tim, I bought us
a game, and we'll see how it works. We'll see how it works.
It's called quick and dirty. Oh boy, okay, well that's the
outfit you're wearing. So me, I think his a little bit more dirtier
than mine. This is just like like Downtown Pride parade. Like I feel
like Richard Simmons, he would wear an outfit like that. Totally. Derek
looks like he came late to a Pride parade. I totally like he woke
up late, just threw on the first thinking. Yeah, okay, So
now, Brian, I until this moment, I there, I own nothing
like this. He doesn't own anything. He does not like he's not He
finally actually made him part of the LGBTQ community. Yeah you're you're you're a
you're a trailblazer. Should I take my hat off for this? No?
God, no, hell no? Oh boy. Okay. So this is
called quick and dirty. And what you need to do is it's between two
and eight players. So put the black pile face down, put the white
pile face down. Each person takes a turn flipping a black category card over
and you read it aloud, and then immediately you flip over the white card
and it has a letter on it. The first to yell out and answer
starting with the letter oh gets to keep the black card. Whoever has the
most black cards at the end wins. Okay, So let's start with Eric.
Now you pick the black card and then you read it and then what's
it say? Something you lack? Okay? Now starting with a y?
That's a. That's a. It doesn't care count put the ward in front
of it. Yeah, yogurt, it's a why yogurt? I say yoga?
Okay, Brian gets the card? Okay, Now, Brian Stern,
Okay, you pick a black card and then you pick the white card.
What did it say? You have to read it out loud? Okay?
Oh God, great place for sex? Okay? And v vagina. Wow.
I wouldn't do it any other place. I definitely wouldn't do it there.
Reason you scream starts with you. You're an airy tract infection. Wait
what Eric saying? I said a viola? What is that? It's the
thing in the back that wait, what is it called? You know what?
I get the card because that was that was dumb. Okay, we're
warming up. Now it's airic stern. Okay, things that arouse women Jesus,
starting with a testosterone gets it. I feel like you said, fascinating
me tits could arouse women though you're actually right or lesbian? All right,
there you go, you keep you keep the card. I'm sorry. That's
a straight women who just sometimes likes the image of the female body. Any
woman likes the image of a female body. Female bodies are awesome. What
does he arouse you though? Uh not? Not necessarily no, necessarily No,
I don't know. I drawther not say okay, things that happen in
vegas starting with uh sex. Oh that's a draw. Okay, well say
it again, yeah, okay, something you binge? John? Okay,
starting with uh r, what did you rimming? Oh my god, God
give it to Eric and wow. The first thing I thought of was what
For some reason, the first thing I thought it was meth. And then
I I was like, that didn't start with an M. I was like
wrath, was like that, it was ridiculous. It makes sense in the
first place, I know, I thought of that. Okay, here we
go, m celebrity, you'd bang, starting with uh pe Pedro Pascal,
thank you, double wow, I should get Yeah, I should get double
points for that. Now, Eric, who had you have two? You
have two and I have two. Okay, somewhere you find STDs your orifice
perfect? Keep it. I know you kind of gotta let us all know
when you flip it. Okay, offensive word God, Okay, thansking for
trouble, Come poop, that's not offensive. Let's let's do a different one.
That's that's for those who it was the letter end. So we're gonna
okay, so we're picking a different letter or a different whole different thing,
whole different thing. Something you swallow starting with licorice. Yeah, well yeah,
liquid, Like okay, there we go. I couldn't think of liquid
you were talking about. That's why I The first thing I thought was come
and that was like lumb but I was like, no, that doesn't work
either. Come on, you don't have to think. Is it my turn?
Your turn? The word dirty is in the name. It's just it's
poisoning my mind. It is poisoned. Your answer so far has been like
rimming and vagina and you belong. Is it your turn of my turn?
Okay, slutty name, don't think dirty though. Catherine Crystal with a K.
Crystal Caper is not slutty. Yeah, you're a sper. No,
Laura gets it. Thank you, Catherine. That's like an old. That's
like a nineteen four yess, Catherine Heppern a slut. Actually, I actually
don't care. Waste of money. Okay, here, I'm picking it all
right. Here we go jewelry. You don't spend money on jacket? Give
it to Brian. That was ridiculous like that? Okay, Ryan, go
okay. Things that make men go limp. You didn't get the j there?
Oh god, here we go? I uh incest. Oh yuck.
I think I get that one because I don't want to. I don't thank
you, thank you, I don't want That's the only word that popped in
my head. Stop thinking. So on his case, what are you got
mind? He said, jacking off the things you waste money on? My
back? Laura, someone who's cheap, give me starting with an h Harry
Potter, God, Harry Potter. Okay, go, No, Eric gets
it. Whatever Harry Potter is an answer. I mean we don't know him.
He's cheap. Sexy occupation okay, the car starting with a kind of
coologist. Is that sexy or is that the opposite? The grossest occupation I
can imagine. Okay, imagine this. What do you do? You're like,
I'm a guyn ecologist. I'm gonna look up what that's like? A
porn star occupation, like the specialty within a field. What's your specialty?
I'm a I'm a gargler. Easy way to get money. Okay, we'll
go a couple of more times. Fucking Jesus, it's Christmas time. It's
Christmas time. Christmas. It was too easy, too easy to get the
car. Okay, all right, let me. I'd like to throw man
to like say, fornication. There you go, better, better, better
at Christmas, Verry, Christmas, Christmas, Jesus. Lame city, lame
city, lame city, starting with a EU like, don't I will not
offend my friends in East Lake. I'm sorry. East is not that great
of a city. East is great. That's true. I grew up there,
but it's true. Hey, I don't think we should say anything local.
Okay, well no, that's not a there you go you where's Eureka.
It's somewhere in northern California. And I don't think it's as nice.
Alcoholma was fair anyway, But okay, I just didn't want to make fun
of our own backyard. Bad time for a boner, okay, oh god,
oh god. Starting with a dinner time good ver good. I was
hoping to be I was hoping to be end so I could just say it
now then boom, okay, oh yeah, you went. Good place to
hide a body. Starting with a sea kitchen, let the sea a cupboard.
Yeah, that is a bad place the body. This is so gross,
by the way, I just isn't the tongue the worst. It looks
so real too. Okay, go, bad thing to put in your ass?
Oh god, oh I'm ready. This is good. Starting with a
boner is actually well, according to some boner would be the perfect thing.
That just depends on the size. I guess. Give me the card.
I think I won that one. I think thank you. Okay now,
Brian, right, okay, okay, country that sucks? Ready here,
it's starting with the Alabama. Yeah, that's what Clay is from. I
don't think it sucks. Amsterdam doesn't suck. It's pretty great. The al
Mafi coast, the country or whatever. No, I can't say it.
I know, okay, never mind, let me do it. That's a
hard that's g I know it's okay, good surface to snort coke. Oh
my god, this is bad. Okay, an ass a Z you can
do anything. Yeah, he's right, all right, you get it.
About it. We'll do one more round and then and then we're gonna say
each our Christmas wishes to everybody, and then we're gonna we're gonna be done
because it's gonna be a short one because everybody needs to get that. We're
playing. Yes, Lovely christis game. Uh things you do drunk everything,
starting with walking water sports. Brian gets it walking on a very lame answer.
It's pretty lame, but waters it's not better. No, should we
count our wins? Yeah? Okay, seriously we go. Here we go
starting with uh, oh, there you go. You got it. Okay,
so now let's count. Let's count. Midget got seven, three,
four, five, six, seven, I have said we tied seven.
Way. Wow, we're all so incredibly good. We are also incredibly disgusting.
Yeah, well, I think that, like a lot of us,
have things we need to do. You're Brian, You're leaving like boom right
away to go see your family at the time of this release, Ily in
North Carolina. I am so happy you get to see your family. How
long has it been now? Oh my god, you'll have a great price.
And are you going to be gone just a week? Yeah? Is
there anything especial specially you're going to be doing like any any like outings or
anything, just just hanging with the family. And how much How many people
are in your family? A few? No, I'm just kidding. Five
and then my girlfriend's going with me. Oh yay. And that's my sister's
husband and three dogs. How much older is your sister? They're younger than
me. Your sister's married and she's younger than you. Yeah, she got
married young. Oh wow, well so did I twenty two? Well I
would be younger than you too. Too young. I feel like you can
get married out. Well, I feel like a twenty two it's young,
but like at twenty two you have like the bare minimum amount of maturity you
can get married with. I feel like you change so much in your twenties
and then your thirties you figure out who you are. I mean, it's
just it's a lot to do with somebody by your side, and sometimes it
works out, sometimes it doesn't, but you know it. Sometimes you find
that person early on in life. I feel like it's hard to wait till
your thirties though, if you're gonna like get married. You know what,
there's that too, Like sometimes, like women especially, you know your clock
is taking You're like, oh my god, where's my friend's charming blah blah
blah blah. But I wish I could have found him earlier. So you
know what, when you find that person, I guess, latch on,
when you find someone that you can change and grow with, there you go,
there you go. And I'm going to my mom's right after this,
and then I'm going to my sister's boyfriend's home in Montrose. You know where
Montrose is? Yes? Okay, do you remember the scene do you remember
Old School? That movie Old School? Do you remember the scene where he's
running down the street naked and just a shoot? That's Montrose. Oh,
so they film a lot of TV shows and stuff. There is a quaint
little town that's where he lives. It's outside of La outside of La Crescenta,
outside of Glendale, in that area. So we're gonna go there for
I'm going to meet him for the first time. He's, like, I
guess, an excellent cook, and we're going to have a Christmas meet eve
there, and then we are going to go back to my mom's open some
presents, and then we have to leave early because Evan has to go back
to the other family. And then Christmas night, then the next day,
I gotta work, and then I gotta work, and then I gotta work,
and then I gotta work on New Year's Day. I gotta work on
the next day. After they get the money. Heck, I'm happy.
Yeah, no doubt, no doubt at the holiday money. No, some
part time saying why don't you your full time I'm salaried, so doesn't Oh
see, there's good and bad things about being salaried. Huh, yeah,
totally. And then are you doing anything special? You're just gonna I'm going
to a friend's house. Uh on actually Christmas Day or Christmas Eve? Christmas
He's not sure. Do you guys open presents on the Christmas Eve or on
the day. I've got the strong opinions about Okay, what is your strong
opinion? If you open your presence on Christmas Eve, that is weird.
It's weird. What do you do Christmas morning? Then eat and enjoy the
gifts you opened the night before? And you know, what that way.
I've never done it that way either. Yeah, and if you do it
that way, that's fine, but it's weird. I want to tell you
about something I got my mom that is really special. What shall I tell
you right now? Yeah, she just didn't listen, Okay. So in
nineteen seventy four, my dad built this really beautiful tile address sign that it's
metal, has like a metal handle and it has it had a wood frame,
and it had tiles all around. And our address was three to one
one three, and we had this really big house and it was up a
big driveway, so what it was at the bottom of the driveway and there
it sat for years and years and years, my whole entire life. So
when my mom sold the house when my dad died, she took the sign
because he made it. So it was been sitting in her backyard deteriorating for
all these years. It's nineteen seventy four. It's termite ridden. Some of
the tiles were falling off, all the cocking was gone, the three one
one three was gone. I went to Mexico and I had them rebuild the
whole thing, original tiles and everything. Oh my god, they polished she's
going to free and I sat here at this table and I stenciled on three
one one three, just exactly how it was in white. And it's over
there and it's I had a bubble wrap and it's heavy as heck, but
it's for me, Eric and Jenny, and it means so much to us
because that was our childhood. And my mom is going to this is the
best Christmas present I think I've ever gotten anybody in my life. Yeah,
oh god, I'm so excited to give it to her. That's so,
that's gonna be really fun. I'm that's the most excited. This is the
most excited I've been about Christmas in a really long time. And then my
kids being here and everything. So it's going to be as gifts. I
know, are those up there. I might wear those lakings. I'm not
gonna lie. Those were comfortable with the little kiddie top. Not gonna lie.
But I just want to say to you guys who watch the show,
who listened to the show and have been for maybe you're new, thank you,
maybe you just found us. That's awesome. We love it. Thank
you so much. We just want to be that little bit of escape for
you. On a day, maybe when you're not having a great day,
or you just want to like tune out the world and you want to just
hang out with friends. That's what we're here for. We just want to
make you laugh, make you smile, inspire you hopefully sometimes and you certainly
inspire us, And we really, really truly appreciate you taking the time out
of your day to listen to us and to be a fane on if you
are. And I can't tell you how much it means to us, especially
Eric and I, because we created this thing God almost five years ago and
it's growing and changing and we're trying to make it as best we can.
And then adding Brian was like the best thing we've ever done. And so
we just hope to bring in the new year with great new shows and a
whole new look. And I just hope whoever you celebrate your Christmas with,
whether it be family, chosen family, friends, maybe you just want to
hang by yourself enjoy it. We love you. Thank you so much for
listening and enjoying our show hopefully, and all the nice comments you guys have
given us over the years. Thank you guys so much. And I don't
know if you guys want to add anything to that, or if you just
want to, like log out and say Merry Christmas, just Merry Christmas,
Happy Holidays. Thank you guys all so much for your love and support.
We really appreciate it. Brian, Yeah, Merry Christmas. Really appreciate you
guys all. Listen, this is such a weird bunch too. That is
all in one room every Monday, I know, to talk it, yeah,
just to talk for forty five minutes. Yeah, so the weirdest three
Musketeers, an old old, an old has been, an old gay guy
and a young guy. It's nothing going on, but yeah, it's been.
We love doing it and we love that you guys watch and you look
absolutely ridiculous. Whatever pot calling cattle or whatever you say. I don't even
know that. I know. I never know this, I never know those
terms. I never know this URMs. But anyway, I hope you guys
have just an excellent time and a great time off and I hope you have
some days off and we love you so much and win that love your podcast.
You're not on a parade. What oh I thought I was on a
you? Well you you could be easily easy. We'll go do one right
after this. Yeah, well oh yeah, bye am. You'll get something
to eat and your outfit. Hell, it's a good idea. Yea,
use some tacos. Oh, I have a great place. No, as
long as you wear the gay Stalin has you know what, he's sick.
He can't go out of date it anyway, all right, you get to
lock us out for that year twenty twenty three. This is the last time
you're going to say that your podcast. And I love you, my sweet
sweet babies. I'm so happy, love you guys so much, so so
much, thank you. Bye bye,