Doc. Here's what your mouth said when he ran up the clock. You
won't know what you're missing if you don't see. Norge transcribe from Hollywood.
Norge Division at BorgWarner, Manufacturers of America's most modern automatic and ringer washers,
water heaters and home freezers, gas and electric ranges originators, and world's largest
manufacturers of self defrosting refrigerators. Norge presents The Red Skelton Show with Red Skelton,
David Rose and his orchestra, Lorene Puddle, Pat mcgehan and the Smith
clans. Will be me, Rod O'Connor, and now the star of our
program, Red Skelton. Thank you very much. Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen, Hire rod Hire, Red, what's up? Well, I've what's
up? Have you tried to buy meat lately? Hey? It reminds me
I haven't eaten. I gotta go over to the Turkish bath and see if
my hot dogs are done. I gotta be carefully and that's where I do
all the cookings. Over that steam room. Last week I went in there
and mistake, I got two sunburned midgets. Y. Yeah, it does
look just read don't agree. You know there must be a more honorable way
of making a living, meaning what we're doing right here. That's right,
Yeah, you're right. See how about you and me getting in a little
business and we kind of team up. Huh? Well what sort of business
did you want to go into? I don't know. Should be something that
we're both capable of doing. Oh no, I'm not going back to Fresno,
to those wine factories. I used to be known as Redfoot. I
used to stop grafully. You see my feet were so big. No,
you think I got big feet though? You should see my follower. He'd
got feet so big he has to put his fans on where his head.
Well, let's see, let's let's do the want to add section of the
morning paper and see if there any businesses for sale. Oh a bully idea,
Bully, good show, Good show England. You can see I haven't
been wasting my time looking at those British pictures on television. Bully, Hey,
get a load of this. It him in the personal column here it
says young man with pet skunk would like to meet young lady with air wigs
mutch it be a whirlwind cordship. Oh yeah, hey, how about this
for sale? A rabbit ranch stock includes two rabbits in an adding machine.
We don't want a business like that. You have to count, remember,
dear, they get ahead of you. Yeah, this one looks good.
High class restaurant and an exclusive neighborhood owner must sell because of ill health.
He probably been eating his own flood. Let's call that restaurant. See what's
cooking? Huh? What would we do in a restauran? Well, I
don't know. I love to cook. And remember the birthday cake I baked
for you, I sure do. The only part I could eat was the
candles. You kidding, boy, I can really cook. Think you may
not believe any of your lady's got a pencil on paper. Take this down.
I'll give you a recipe for a cake that's wonderful. You take a
pound of flour save and then you take four eggs, just the whites,
and you add the yellows later. And then you take a cup of sugar
and some shortening, and you mix it up real good, and then sprinkle
Papa Rica all over that. I've taken an oven temperature of five hundred the
finest slab of Italian marble you've ever tasted. Fact, I think I could
sell that recipe to CBS. They can make a cornerstone for their news studio.
Well, maybe we better just stick to the jobs we've got. Red,
What do you say, Oh, if the sponsors heard what's going on,
soul War, we may not even have a job anymore. We'd better
call on Dave Rose to save this. Dave, strike up the band and
let's hear your arrangement of the portrait of a flirt the cold Attack the Let's
take a minute to talk about a real buy the Norge triple action washer in
the new pyramid model. It's not only streamlined and looks, it's streamlined in
action too. The trouble with most ringer washers that have the new full length
skirt instead of legs is they're too easy to tip over. But not this
new Norge pyramid model. Norge is the only streamlined ringer washer designed with a
wider base and five instead of the usual forecasters that prevents tipping. But this
new Norge doesn't take up an more floor space and it rolls just like a
baby carriage. Or you can anchor it from either side instantly because two of
the five castors are self locking. Now, then what about the washing action.
Norge triple action agitation has always been famous for getting clothes cleaner and doing
it faster. Norge really gets the deep down dirt, but it does an
average load in only seven minutes. I wish you'd compare this new Norge with
any other ringer washer on the market, for you won't know what you're missing
if you don't see Norge. From the Skeleton scrap Book of Satire, we
present a story entitled job Hunting. Chapter one is entitled help Wanted Cowhan,
and it concerns the poor Man's Gabby Hayes deada high from Texas. Hey,
hey, you deedie, whoa whoa? Come on? Horse warm? You
know that I that horse gets skin air every time I feel well. You
see, it's this way I flip a coin every day. You see heads,
He gets oats and tails I get beer. You know he's the unluckiest
horse I ever see. He lost ten times in a row. You know,
say, you haven't seen any of the law around here, have you?
I know? Tell me why are you so afraid of the law.
Of course I'm wanted in Texas, but they don't never take me back there.
Of course, the way Texas is growing. I may not have to
go back. It'll come and get me. Thank you representatives from Dallas.
You know dead I you look different from both the cowboy down. Tell me
what's wrong with your leg? One bull legged? That's all. Everybody in
my family was bull legged. More used to hitch rides on oil trucks.
Well, I haven't got time to stand there in chat. I gotta go
round up some of the actors for a western show out putting a oh well
look, that's what I wanted to see about. Corny. Uh, you
can count me in. You know I can do some fancy shooting, and
I can sing a song with my educated hort. You really can handle them
sick shooters. Well you just start counting. I'll show you how fast I
am on the drove. All right, Eat one, two, three?
Or grunt? What it says here? Grunt? You know it ain't as
easy as it looks. Five. You know they get heavier every day.
Grunt, say tell hey, die, well, don't stand here, help
me win. Just as I thought, you're nothing but a big blowhard boy.
Yeah you mean that I'm a blow hard. I ain't right you say
that to a Texan. Yeah, okay, I just ain't taking no foolishness
today, So we'll see about that though. Why say you got before you
poured your dog? Yeah? I think I lost another too? You got
an open toe boot here? Helly, help me take my boot off?
Were you a right? You could have my leg back? Count of toes
for me? Would you have one? Two, three, board, five,
six, seven seven? I lost two of meta. I think we'd
better forget about that fancy shoe. Yeah. You tell me that that's an
educated heart, as you're that's really an educated horse. And watch this now,
hey boy, now pay attention forci What is to end? Two?
Come? One boy? One more? Please see you? Well? Thanks,
just the same, did I? But this is a play we're putting
on. I only need actors, so thank okay. Gidea boy, Gidea.
Chapter two of Job Hunting is about a punchdrung fighter but the name of
Califlar mcpug who's always imagining. He hears Belsenberg anyway, it seems one day
he saw a health wandered sign hanging in the restaurant window. You knew you
you get to do the mocking boy, the mocking boy. You can do
the mocking boy. I tell like Margaret being dragged through a not holed he
you want to have a bell put on that door, then you could tell
when somebody come in. Get to my boy, put a bell on that
door? Where's a bell on that door? Didn't you hear it ring when
you came in? What do you want? I don't, I don't know.
I didn't hear no bell. What do you think? I'm funky dumping?
And what are you running a pet door here in parakeet to making awful
out of noise? Cat a fire? For your information, this is a
restaurant. Well, from what I am hearing, you're catering to nothing but
boys. Why don't you wait on them? Canary? They're thing for I
saw you're looking at that sign in the window? Is that what you came
in? Here? About? What I came in? Mind? I came
in to tea about that time? How long does your clearance sale land?
Well? Sign doesn't say anything about clear and sale. That's say a short
order cook water? Can't you read? Do I step aside? You come
to troop with te do oh a flamingo? When did you ask me get
a minute to go with your mind? You would wait again? I said,
can't you read. I can't read. I can read very reading,
but I can't read write and yet right and right and not putting? Hey,
grab an apple for the teacher. The cool belling? How punchy can
you get? I said, how punchy can you get? I don't know.
That's pretty hard to tell. I'm still rather young. You know you
need a cook? How about hiring me? Well, what do you know
about cooking? I know, pretty boy? I will did three years of
KP and you arm me? Why do we have to cook for food?
For the whole regiment? And they get you? Number it comb me?
The boy? Did you nick my hand? I was the pride of the
canine core, the canine car. Huh? What were you a dog face?
Thank you? You didn't get a laugh. But it's cue. Why
do you want to work here? Aren't you fighting anymore? I fight a
couple of nights a week at the board. He said, stop it stuff.
You always say, Oh that's going playing twick on me. He worked
up me appening the back of their head. But when I turn you around
him say you fight two nights a week, then you'll want two nights a
week off from this job. You get two minutes just two minutes. I'll
get the bout over with in a hurry. I'll feed up my fall up,
picking up the lines when they don't get a laugh to him. But
after, after the fight, there will you feel like working? Believe me,
I won't see anything. Boy like one thing about me. I come
out of a fight the thame condition that guy go in unconjured. Dear boy,
I'm quite a fighting you know, are you the boy a flock?
Wait? Never came Dan. Now you take my fight? And I had
in Burbank that week. I was fighting Irish Irving. Yeah. And the
way he went after me, you think he was drooming a business for some
mortuary. He hit me and a no too hard and everything. Then I've
been breathing down my own neck. I hit the can with I bounced for
five minutes. It keet bouncing their Finally my manager had to dribble me to
my wretting room. I like the better when they're not there. Hello,
honey, you walk around on your heels. Your brains are scrambled. Oh
you take I'm you want a geanut whackler my room with that long haired monkey,
yeah him, and then beautiful back robe before you're rounding on a time,
can't for it? Don't what's the matter with him? Oh he likes
to show people that he's not about flying an airplane and jeans and he's always
flying all over down. Get to tell everybody how good he is. Butt
in the neighborhood, know that poor looking? What's wrong with that? You
ain't got no air from me? I know, I tune up with motor
for well, I'm sorry, colar plown, I can't hire you for a
cook, but we need a dishwasher and the jobs yours? If your water,
how much you do pay? How much you get pay? How much
you do pay? Topic it pay us four dollars a day next week a
week nepoo. Of course out of that I did duck three dollars a day
for your meals that week. Boom. And there's another deduction for income tax,
social Security and medical insurance that comes to ninety two cents a day.
Let's see. That leaves you a net earning of eight cents a day.
And that's not counting your car fare. Oh yeah, what actually to day?
Are you sure you want the job, coularfarers? Sure I need the
money? Colar On second that I don't think I can use you as a
dish work okay, No, but day I gotta run anyhow, I'm a
volunteer fireman, and I've heard a third alarm bell ring for I gotta go
okay, which brings us now to the smith twins or will sing down yonder
Yonder smon beacons to me yonder racons on me. I need to see your
racing never read between the letchers and the robbery wan. Sure I miss Shimon
and every day, my mammy Land, you're simply Grandjoon. Under when the
focus the news don't wonder at the Hall of b Loon is Daddy and Mammy.
There's and Sammy waiting down yonder for me, way down yonder, in
the land of Cotton, waiting for me way down yonder. Well, I'm
not forgotten. Just wait and see. I seem to see your racing memory
me waiting south between the Natches and the robberty Fanny Shaw, I missed small
and mark every day, my mammy Land, see your simply Grandjoe where on
yonder When the focus the news don't ever wonder at the Hall of Lows,
there's Daddy and Mammy and Sammy waiting down yonder for waiting down, waiting down
yonder call me and now. Jesse Cartwright, co director of the Norge Home
Economics Department, has a wash day hint for homemakers. If washing handkerchiefs is
a chore you dislike, try this easy trick. Before you put the handkerchiefs
in the washing machine, soak them in lukewarm salt water. Use about a
tablespoon of salt to each quart of water. Of course, if you have
a Nordge triple action washer, you'll never have any real problem in getting close
sparkling clean. You bet. Nord's triple action washes clothes cleaner, and it
washes them faster. Seven minutes is average, and many loads take even less
time. Right, don't forget the automatic timer on the new Norge pyramid model.
Yes, with Nords you can wash clothes automatically for any of five different
washing times lightly soiled, average and so on. You just set the timer
and Nord shuts itself off automatically. Every single feature this new Norde Bringer washer,
with its non tip pyramid construction, is streamline. Why don't you go
down to your dealers and look it over. You won't know what you're missing
if you don't see nords. Our final chapter is entitled Competition Junior Grade,
and of course it's about Junior, the mean little kid. Oh there's that
fat ol'connor standing in front of He's new Western. I gotta talk to that
guy. You, mister O'Connor, stay right where you live. I'm coming
across the street. No, Junior, No, well, good heavens I
better see these all right, Junior Junior? All right, No, I
didn't get a scratch. I didn't get a scratched. But did you notice
that Cadillac wearing that off the shoulder chevel name. I read that like they
were a sponsor, Junior, you know better than the run out of the
street like that. Never mind, fact, Joe, I came over here
to talk about your business with you. You it's definitely your place of establishment
here. Well, come on in, Junior, but don't slam the door
because I just put a new glass in. It might break. Oh you
can't wake a glass by slamming your door. Oh yes you can. I
can. Well, thanks for your permission, Junior. How could you Well
you told me I could. If you want another demonstration, you had to
put another glass in that door. For two cents, I'd give you a
whipping. I should give you two cents for a whipping and get all I
want from home for nothing, one way, and don't bother me, jun
your ambusy, you're busy. That's what I happened to come over to see
you about. Fat Joe. I'm sorry to say, but this restaurant has
to go. Why does it have to go? Because I happen to run
your lemonade down across the street and I'm not gonna stand for any competition.
Watch who well you see now, I'll give you just twenty four hours to
clear out of this neighborhood. What if I don't feel like clearing out?
Well, look at this book back I'm looking. Now, take a look
at that big window, not yours, the one on your door. You'll
do me that, Yes, well, put two and two together, your
big stupid fat snob, and imagine how drafty it's gonna be in here.
Now, Junior, there's no need to threaten me. I'm sure we can
get along doing business in the same neighborhood. After all, I don't sell
lemonade and you don't sell food. I do too sell food. My we
do stand is noticeab is Will's famous mud pie. Through over my counter comes
the most beautiful mud pie in the world. Who would buy mud pies?
I'll tell you who by just get people that drink my lemonade. Because you
can't show what that they buy a mud pie just to show you can see
me after a busy day, boy, I'm loaded with anything. I'm covered
with mud is known as the filthy wit Well, Junior, to show you
there's no hard feelings. I'll give you some sugar. If you're a lemonade.
How's that? Well? Now that's mighty neighbor, are you? Could
you give me a lemon two? The one I has been using is getting
there with a moldy. I don't know why. I've only had it for
two months. Jr. Don't look now, but here comes your mother.
Oh the hair brush kid rides again. I was wondering how long it's going
to take her to discover that I figured out the combination on the crib.
Oh, Oh you know Rod, Have you been Junior? Uh? He
was here a minute ago. Ah, there he is, picking out of
the garbage disposal stool pigeon changer. I get this half a great food off
of my head. Now you get out of that garbage disposal. Somebody is
able to turn the switch off and you'll clog up the plumbing. Well,
it's nice now that somebody cares for me. Hey, Mom, you two
look pretty, Oh, risk, I don't start that huffy, magusty stuff
with me. What's your language? This jo goos through? Pasha? Stop
trying to change the subtic? How many times have I told you never to
cross that street alone? Rod? What am I going to do with him?
Oh? I know a good taxidermis where you can have him stuff cheap?
H How can you ever think of such a thing. He wouldn't look
good hanging over the fireplace. Way, Look, if you both some answers
to stuffed me, how about doing it with ice cream and cake or a
please your fire or something? Step banana pie cream pier. Look, get
your hands off of that. I want it. I'm gonna stuff me,
Chelsey. You folks have ever watched the comedies on television? You know how
this is gonna end. Now, let's throw of that pie. You as
you right? You didn't. Let's go the first time I've ever enjoyed a
baning. You just get my hands on you, make me swam a junior.
That's funny, it didn't break. Let's fat. They don't make glass
like they used to. Let This is Ron O'Connor saying, remember in refrigerator's,
home freezer's, gas and electric ranges, washers and water heaters. Everything
Norge makes, Norge makes right. Why don't you stopping at your local Norge
dealers soon? See the washer that's streamlined in looks and action, the new
Norge pyramid model with triple action that gets close cleaner and less time. And
the new gentle touch ringer that gets closed dryer with less wear and tear.
See this new Norge triple action washer now at your Norge dealers, and now
until next week. This is Red Skelton saying thanks for listening and reminding you
that you won't know what you're missing if you don't see Norge. Join us
again next week for the Red Skelton Show. Let's help has turned the program
to the courtesy of me Proball the Mayor Studio. This is a copyrighted feature
transpired from Hollywood. Mm hmm. This is the CBS Radio Network m HM