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Doc. Here's what your mouth said
when he ran up the clock. You

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won't know what you're missing if you
don't see. Norge transcribe from Hollywood.

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Norge Division at BorgWarner, Manufacturers of
America's most modern automatic and ringer washers,

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00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:27,679
water heaters and home freezers, gas
and electric ranges originators, and world's largest

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manufacturers of self defrosting refrigerators. Norge
presents The Red Skelton Show with Red Skelton,

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David Rose and his orchestra, Lorene
Puddle, Pat mcgehan and the Smith

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clans. Will be me, Rod
O'Connor, and now the star of our

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program, Red Skelton. Thank you
very much. Good evening, ladies and

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gentlemen, Hire rod Hire, Red, what's up? Well, I've what's

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up? Have you tried to buy
meat lately? Hey? It reminds me

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I haven't eaten. I gotta go
over to the Turkish bath and see if

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my hot dogs are done. I
gotta be carefully and that's where I do

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all the cookings. Over that steam
room. Last week I went in there

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and mistake, I got two sunburned
midgets. Y. Yeah, it does

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look just read don't agree. You
know there must be a more honorable way

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of making a living, meaning what
we're doing right here. That's right,

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Yeah, you're right. See how
about you and me getting in a little

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business and we kind of team up. Huh? Well what sort of business

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did you want to go into?
I don't know. Should be something that

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we're both capable of doing. Oh
no, I'm not going back to Fresno,

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to those wine factories. I used
to be known as Redfoot. I

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used to stop grafully. You see
my feet were so big. No,

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you think I got big feet though? You should see my follower. He'd

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got feet so big he has to
put his fans on where his head.

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Well, let's see, let's let's
do the want to add section of the

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morning paper and see if there any
businesses for sale. Oh a bully idea,

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Bully, good show, Good show
England. You can see I haven't

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been wasting my time looking at those
British pictures on television. Bully, Hey,

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get a load of this. It
him in the personal column here it

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says young man with pet skunk would
like to meet young lady with air wigs

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mutch it be a whirlwind cordship.
Oh yeah, hey, how about this

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for sale? A rabbit ranch stock
includes two rabbits in an adding machine.

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We don't want a business like that. You have to count, remember,

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dear, they get ahead of you. Yeah, this one looks good.

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High class restaurant and an exclusive neighborhood
owner must sell because of ill health.

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He probably been eating his own flood. Let's call that restaurant. See what's

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cooking? Huh? What would we
do in a restauran? Well, I

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don't know. I love to cook. And remember the birthday cake I baked

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for you, I sure do.
The only part I could eat was the

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candles. You kidding, boy,
I can really cook. Think you may

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not believe any of your lady's got
a pencil on paper. Take this down.

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I'll give you a recipe for a
cake that's wonderful. You take a

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pound of flour save and then you
take four eggs, just the whites,

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and you add the yellows later.
And then you take a cup of sugar

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and some shortening, and you mix
it up real good, and then sprinkle

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Papa Rica all over that. I've
taken an oven temperature of five hundred the

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finest slab of Italian marble you've ever
tasted. Fact, I think I could

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sell that recipe to CBS. They
can make a cornerstone for their news studio.

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Well, maybe we better just stick
to the jobs we've got. Red,

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What do you say, Oh,
if the sponsors heard what's going on,

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soul War, we may not even
have a job anymore. We'd better

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call on Dave Rose to save this. Dave, strike up the band and

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let's hear your arrangement of the portrait
of a flirt the cold Attack the Let's

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take a minute to talk about a
real buy the Norge triple action washer in

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the new pyramid model. It's not
only streamlined and looks, it's streamlined in

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action too. The trouble with most
ringer washers that have the new full length

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skirt instead of legs is they're too
easy to tip over. But not this

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new Norge pyramid model. Norge is
the only streamlined ringer washer designed with a

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wider base and five instead of the
usual forecasters that prevents tipping. But this

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new Norge doesn't take up an more
floor space and it rolls just like a

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baby carriage. Or you can anchor
it from either side instantly because two of

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the five castors are self locking.
Now, then what about the washing action.

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Norge triple action agitation has always been
famous for getting clothes cleaner and doing

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it faster. Norge really gets the
deep down dirt, but it does an

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average load in only seven minutes.
I wish you'd compare this new Norge with

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any other ringer washer on the market, for you won't know what you're missing

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if you don't see Norge. From
the Skeleton scrap Book of Satire, we

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present a story entitled job Hunting.
Chapter one is entitled help Wanted Cowhan,

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and it concerns the poor Man's Gabby
Hayes deada high from Texas. Hey,

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hey, you deedie, whoa whoa? Come on? Horse warm? You

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know that I that horse gets skin
air every time I feel well. You

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see, it's this way I flip
a coin every day. You see heads,

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He gets oats and tails I get
beer. You know he's the unluckiest

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horse I ever see. He lost
ten times in a row. You know,

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say, you haven't seen any of
the law around here, have you?

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I know? Tell me why are
you so afraid of the law.

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Of course I'm wanted in Texas,
but they don't never take me back there.

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Of course, the way Texas is
growing. I may not have to

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go back. It'll come and get
me. Thank you representatives from Dallas.

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You know dead I you look different
from both the cowboy down. Tell me

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what's wrong with your leg? One
bull legged? That's all. Everybody in

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my family was bull legged. More
used to hitch rides on oil trucks.

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Well, I haven't got time to
stand there in chat. I gotta go

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round up some of the actors for
a western show out putting a oh well

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look, that's what I wanted to
see about. Corny. Uh, you

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can count me in. You know
I can do some fancy shooting, and

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I can sing a song with my
educated hort. You really can handle them

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sick shooters. Well you just start
counting. I'll show you how fast I

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am on the drove. All right, Eat one, two, three?

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Or grunt? What it says here? Grunt? You know it ain't as

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easy as it looks. Five.
You know they get heavier every day.

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Grunt, say tell hey, die, well, don't stand here, help

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me win. Just as I thought, you're nothing but a big blowhard boy.

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Yeah you mean that I'm a blow
hard. I ain't right you say

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that to a Texan. Yeah,
okay, I just ain't taking no foolishness

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today, So we'll see about that
though. Why say you got before you

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poured your dog? Yeah? I
think I lost another too? You got

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an open toe boot here? Helly, help me take my boot off?

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Were you a right? You could
have my leg back? Count of toes

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for me? Would you have one? Two, three, board, five,

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six, seven seven? I lost
two of meta. I think we'd

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better forget about that fancy shoe.
Yeah. You tell me that that's an

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educated heart, as you're that's really
an educated horse. And watch this now,

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hey boy, now pay attention forci
What is to end? Two?

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Come? One boy? One more? Please see you? Well? Thanks,

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just the same, did I?
But this is a play we're putting

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on. I only need actors,
so thank okay. Gidea boy, Gidea.

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Chapter two of Job Hunting is about
a punchdrung fighter but the name of

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Califlar mcpug who's always imagining. He
hears Belsenberg anyway, it seems one day

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he saw a health wandered sign hanging
in the restaurant window. You knew you

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you get to do the mocking boy, the mocking boy. You can do

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the mocking boy. I tell like
Margaret being dragged through a not holed he

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you want to have a bell put
on that door, then you could tell

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when somebody come in. Get to
my boy, put a bell on that

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door? Where's a bell on that
door? Didn't you hear it ring when

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you came in? What do you
want? I don't, I don't know.

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I didn't hear no bell. What
do you think? I'm funky dumping?

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And what are you running a pet
door here in parakeet to making awful

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out of noise? Cat a fire? For your information, this is a

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restaurant. Well, from what I
am hearing, you're catering to nothing but

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boys. Why don't you wait on
them? Canary? They're thing for I

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saw you're looking at that sign in
the window? Is that what you came

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in? Here? About? What
I came in? Mind? I came

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in to tea about that time?
How long does your clearance sale land?

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Well? Sign doesn't say anything about
clear and sale. That's say a short

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order cook water? Can't you read? Do I step aside? You come

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to troop with te do oh a
flamingo? When did you ask me get

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a minute to go with your mind? You would wait again? I said,

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can't you read. I can't read. I can read very reading,

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but I can't read write and yet
right and right and not putting? Hey,

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grab an apple for the teacher.
The cool belling? How punchy can

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you get? I said, how
punchy can you get? I don't know.

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That's pretty hard to tell. I'm
still rather young. You know you

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need a cook? How about hiring
me? Well, what do you know

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about cooking? I know, pretty
boy? I will did three years of

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KP and you arm me? Why
do we have to cook for food?

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For the whole regiment? And they
get you? Number it comb me?

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The boy? Did you nick my
hand? I was the pride of the

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canine core, the canine car.
Huh? What were you a dog face?

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Thank you? You didn't get a
laugh. But it's cue. Why

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do you want to work here?
Aren't you fighting anymore? I fight a

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couple of nights a week at the
board. He said, stop it stuff.

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You always say, Oh that's going
playing twick on me. He worked

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up me appening the back of their
head. But when I turn you around

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him say you fight two nights a
week, then you'll want two nights a

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week off from this job. You
get two minutes just two minutes. I'll

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get the bout over with in a
hurry. I'll feed up my fall up,

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picking up the lines when they don't
get a laugh to him. But

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after, after the fight, there
will you feel like working? Believe me,

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I won't see anything. Boy like
one thing about me. I come

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out of a fight the thame condition
that guy go in unconjured. Dear boy,

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I'm quite a fighting you know,
are you the boy a flock?

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Wait? Never came Dan. Now
you take my fight? And I had

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in Burbank that week. I was
fighting Irish Irving. Yeah. And the

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way he went after me, you
think he was drooming a business for some

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mortuary. He hit me and a
no too hard and everything. Then I've

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been breathing down my own neck.
I hit the can with I bounced for

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five minutes. It keet bouncing their
Finally my manager had to dribble me to

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my wretting room. I like the
better when they're not there. Hello,

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honey, you walk around on your
heels. Your brains are scrambled. Oh

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you take I'm you want a geanut
whackler my room with that long haired monkey,

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yeah him, and then beautiful back
robe before you're rounding on a time,

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can't for it? Don't what's the
matter with him? Oh he likes

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to show people that he's not about
flying an airplane and jeans and he's always

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flying all over down. Get to
tell everybody how good he is. Butt

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00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:56,680
in the neighborhood, know that poor
looking? What's wrong with that? You

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00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:10,839
ain't got no air from me?
I know, I tune up with motor

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for well, I'm sorry, colar
plown, I can't hire you for a

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00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:21,599
cook, but we need a dishwasher
and the jobs yours? If your water,

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00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,880
how much you do pay? How
much you get pay? How much

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00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:32,359
you do pay? Topic it pay
us four dollars a day next week a

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00:18:32,519 --> 00:18:34,240
week nepoo. Of course out of
that I did duck three dollars a day

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for your meals that week. Boom. And there's another deduction for income tax,

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social Security and medical insurance that comes
to ninety two cents a day.

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Let's see. That leaves you a
net earning of eight cents a day.

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And that's not counting your car fare. Oh yeah, what actually to day?

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00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,480
Are you sure you want the job, coularfarers? Sure I need the

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money? Colar On second that I
don't think I can use you as a

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00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,440
dish work okay, No, but
day I gotta run anyhow, I'm a

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00:19:17,519 --> 00:19:22,000
volunteer fireman, and I've heard a
third alarm bell ring for I gotta go

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00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:37,799
okay, which brings us now to
the smith twins or will sing down yonder

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00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:51,039
Yonder smon beacons to me yonder racons
on me. I need to see your

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00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:59,440
racing never read between the letchers and
the robbery wan. Sure I miss Shimon

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00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:06,680
and every day, my mammy Land, you're simply Grandjoon. Under when the

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00:20:06,799 --> 00:20:12,799
focus the news don't wonder at the
Hall of b Loon is Daddy and Mammy.

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00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:19,880
There's and Sammy waiting down yonder for
me, way down yonder, in

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00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,920
the land of Cotton, waiting for
me way down yonder. Well, I'm

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00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:29,960
not forgotten. Just wait and see. I seem to see your racing memory

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00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:37,279
me waiting south between the Natches and
the robberty Fanny Shaw, I missed small

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00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,440
and mark every day, my mammy
Land, see your simply Grandjoe where on

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00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:48,400
yonder When the focus the news don't
ever wonder at the Hall of Lows,

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00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:57,480
there's Daddy and Mammy and Sammy waiting
down yonder for waiting down, waiting down

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00:20:57,599 --> 00:21:15,000
yonder call me and now. Jesse
Cartwright, co director of the Norge Home

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00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:19,319
Economics Department, has a wash day
hint for homemakers. If washing handkerchiefs is

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00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:23,599
a chore you dislike, try this
easy trick. Before you put the handkerchiefs

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00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:27,200
in the washing machine, soak them
in lukewarm salt water. Use about a

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00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,400
tablespoon of salt to each quart of
water. Of course, if you have

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00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,359
a Nordge triple action washer, you'll
never have any real problem in getting close

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00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:40,000
sparkling clean. You bet. Nord's
triple action washes clothes cleaner, and it

200
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:44,240
washes them faster. Seven minutes is
average, and many loads take even less

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00:21:44,279 --> 00:21:48,359
time. Right, don't forget the
automatic timer on the new Norge pyramid model.

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Yes, with Nords you can wash
clothes automatically for any of five different

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washing times lightly soiled, average and
so on. You just set the timer

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and Nord shuts itself off automatically.
Every single feature this new Norde Bringer washer,

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with its non tip pyramid construction,
is streamline. Why don't you go

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down to your dealers and look it
over. You won't know what you're missing

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if you don't see nords. Our
final chapter is entitled Competition Junior Grade,

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and of course it's about Junior,
the mean little kid. Oh there's that

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fat ol'connor standing in front of He's
new Western. I gotta talk to that

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guy. You, mister O'Connor,
stay right where you live. I'm coming

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across the street. No, Junior, No, well, good heavens I

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better see these all right, Junior
Junior? All right, No, I

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didn't get a scratch. I didn't
get a scratched. But did you notice

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that Cadillac wearing that off the shoulder
chevel name. I read that like they

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were a sponsor, Junior, you
know better than the run out of the

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street like that. Never mind,
fact, Joe, I came over here

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to talk about your business with you. You it's definitely your place of establishment

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here. Well, come on in, Junior, but don't slam the door

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because I just put a new glass
in. It might break. Oh you

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can't wake a glass by slamming your
door. Oh yes you can. I

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can. Well, thanks for your
permission, Junior. How could you Well

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you told me I could. If
you want another demonstration, you had to

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put another glass in that door.
For two cents, I'd give you a

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whipping. I should give you two
cents for a whipping and get all I

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want from home for nothing, one
way, and don't bother me, jun

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00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,039
your ambusy, you're busy. That's
what I happened to come over to see

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you about. Fat Joe. I'm
sorry to say, but this restaurant has

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to go. Why does it have
to go? Because I happen to run

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your lemonade down across the street and
I'm not gonna stand for any competition.

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Watch who well you see now,
I'll give you just twenty four hours to

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clear out of this neighborhood. What
if I don't feel like clearing out?

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Well, look at this book back
I'm looking. Now, take a look

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at that big window, not yours, the one on your door. You'll

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do me that, Yes, well, put two and two together, your

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big stupid fat snob, and imagine
how drafty it's gonna be in here.

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Now, Junior, there's no need
to threaten me. I'm sure we can

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get along doing business in the same
neighborhood. After all, I don't sell

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lemonade and you don't sell food.
I do too sell food. My we

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do stand is noticeab is Will's famous
mud pie. Through over my counter comes

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the most beautiful mud pie in the
world. Who would buy mud pies?

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I'll tell you who by just get
people that drink my lemonade. Because you

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can't show what that they buy a
mud pie just to show you can see

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me after a busy day, boy, I'm loaded with anything. I'm covered

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with mud is known as the filthy
wit Well, Junior, to show you

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there's no hard feelings. I'll give
you some sugar. If you're a lemonade.

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How's that? Well? Now that's
mighty neighbor, are you? Could

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00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,200
you give me a lemon two?
The one I has been using is getting

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00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:41,400
there with a moldy. I don't
know why. I've only had it for

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00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:48,759
two months. Jr. Don't look
now, but here comes your mother.

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Oh the hair brush kid rides again. I was wondering how long it's going

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to take her to discover that I
figured out the combination on the crib.

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Oh, Oh you know Rod,
Have you been Junior? Uh? He

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00:26:02,759 --> 00:26:04,319
was here a minute ago. Ah, there he is, picking out of

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the garbage disposal stool pigeon changer.
I get this half a great food off

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of my head. Now you get
out of that garbage disposal. Somebody is

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able to turn the switch off and
you'll clog up the plumbing. Well,

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00:26:26,559 --> 00:26:30,759
it's nice now that somebody cares for
me. Hey, Mom, you two

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look pretty, Oh, risk,
I don't start that huffy, magusty stuff

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00:26:36,559 --> 00:26:48,680
with me. What's your language?
This jo goos through? Pasha? Stop

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00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,160
trying to change the subtic? How
many times have I told you never to

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00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,240
cross that street alone? Rod?
What am I going to do with him?

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00:26:55,599 --> 00:26:57,359
Oh? I know a good taxidermis
where you can have him stuff cheap?

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00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,039
H How can you ever think of
such a thing. He wouldn't look

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00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:10,839
good hanging over the fireplace. Way, Look, if you both some answers

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00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,400
to stuffed me, how about doing
it with ice cream and cake or a

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00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:17,799
please your fire or something? Step
banana pie cream pier. Look, get

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00:27:17,839 --> 00:27:19,359
your hands off of that. I
want it. I'm gonna stuff me,

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00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:27,160
Chelsey. You folks have ever watched
the comedies on television? You know how

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this is gonna end. Now,
let's throw of that pie. You as

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00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,039
you right? You didn't. Let's
go the first time I've ever enjoyed a

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00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:48,920
baning. You just get my hands
on you, make me swam a junior.

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00:27:49,319 --> 00:27:56,640
That's funny, it didn't break.
Let's fat. They don't make glass

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00:27:56,799 --> 00:28:11,160
like they used to. Let This
is Ron O'Connor saying, remember in refrigerator's,

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00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,079
home freezer's, gas and electric ranges, washers and water heaters. Everything

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00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:19,559
Norge makes, Norge makes right.
Why don't you stopping at your local Norge

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00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:25,079
dealers soon? See the washer that's
streamlined in looks and action, the new

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00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,559
Norge pyramid model with triple action that
gets close cleaner and less time. And

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00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,279
the new gentle touch ringer that gets
closed dryer with less wear and tear.

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00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:37,440
See this new Norge triple action washer
now at your Norge dealers, and now

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00:28:37,519 --> 00:28:41,319
until next week. This is Red
Skelton saying thanks for listening and reminding you

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00:28:41,759 --> 00:28:57,440
that you won't know what you're missing
if you don't see Norge. Join us

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00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:07,319
again next week for the Red Skelton
Show. Let's help has turned the program

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00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:15,039
to the courtesy of me Proball the
Mayor Studio. This is a copyrighted feature

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00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:29,880
transpired from Hollywood. Mm hmm.
This is the CBS Radio Network m HM