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Island is back to Island. This
is episode five? Is it? Oh

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my god? Five? A sip
and tea Kila. Oh by the way,

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let me just put this out there. I would like to apologize to

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everyone because I was listening to the
previous episodes, especially episode one. In

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episode two, Oh my god,
what did I say? No? Not

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you? One day, we're probably
gonna apologize for something you say. You

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haven't you haven't crossed any lines.
Okay, I'm trying to be careful.

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I tried really hard. No.
I love your I love that You're the

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wild card though. But my I
because I'm running the board, like the

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board is in front of me,
the computers are in front of me.

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And there was something in the settings
where when my email would come in you

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can also hear that in the episode, and it was annoying. I was

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listening back to our podcast and it
was so annoying hearing my email goal through

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like at least six times in the
first episode. So I apologize. I'm

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gonna make sure that doesn't happen from
now on. It's like when you need

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to put batteries in the smoke alarm
and it's just still going. Dude,

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I'm getting mad at myself, like, girl, turn off your email?

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What's going on? So I appolagi, girl, let them know you you

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work, you busy girl. I
thought it was gonna be something you said.

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I was like, I don't think
if you are worried about what you

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said. I'm never worried about something
a set. So I was a little

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I was a little worried when you
said that. I said, oh crap,

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when do I start apologizing? Okay, so far it's so good.

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Okay, Yeah, no, I'm
trying to be mindful. Only be positive,

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right, never negative? That always
the goal in life. Yeah,

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negative right now? Yeah? Well, I mean if I don't like me,

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you don't know. That's what I
mean. Though, it's not really

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negative. It's just like facts.
It's never talking ship if it's true exactly.

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I feel like that's kind of just
what we do. Mm hmmm,

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speak the truth. Yeah it sip
and tee quila, sip tea. Well,

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let's us spill the tea, bil
the tea. When it comes to

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the dating world, because I've never
something about that girl, it's treacherous.

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It's hard out here. It's like
discuss d I mean, it's fine or

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whatever. I can't say that I've
gone on any dates yet, I'm on

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hinge and it's unhinged. Yeah,
there's this guy. He uh you know,

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had a nice profile. He's actually
pretty fine. Like I don't be

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going for Mexican men like that for
real, because I just love me some

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black men. But then you know, he's he's good looking. So I

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was like, he was good looking, he's good looking. You get the

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picture, and you didn't get the
picture. I just heard the voice message,

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bro, and that was the thing. He started sending me voice notes,

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which I can appreciate to a point. You know, he wants it

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to be like personal, he wants
it to be Yeah, there's a certain

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tone and emotion that you can't put
through exactly. And I also think voice

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memo kind of shows he's more interested, just like a shows more of like

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an incentive, right, So I
definitely appreciate it, and I think it's

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it's a nice thought. Yeah he's
cute. He's cute. Yeah, he's

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a little cutie. Yeah, and
he's like all tadded up like and I

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mean he's not he's older than me, but not too much older. How

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old is he? Thirty one?
Oh, that's just fine. That's that's

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not old. Yeah, don't you
No, I didn't say no, I

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know, but I'm putting it out
there. Don't neither you say that whoa

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on my way there. I would
never say that that's old. I like

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older man, like if you're like, honestly, I don't even judge,

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Like I wouldn't do forties, but
in the thirties, early thirties for sure.

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Yeah, yeah, we're neighbors.
But this one happens to have two

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grown children, which kind of threw
me off. What's grown though, grown

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is like ten and fifteen. Oh, that's grown grown girls and girls.

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Yeah yeah, that kind of made
me run the opposite direction. That means

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he must have had them when he
was fifteen sixteen. I'm not judging,

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you know, like, no,
no, no judgment at all, but

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that is a very difficult age for
girls, especially when dad brings in another

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female to the equation. Right.
Well, and my thing is to like,

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I don't have kids. I think
it would be different maybe if I

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had kids, right, but I
don't. I don't come with that baggage.

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Sorry, no disrespect, but for
real, like, I'm yeah,

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and you're obviously entitled to like not
want to be involved with somebody that has

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kids, like you can say no, right of course, right, And

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you know, if they were younger
kids, I would reconsider it. Like

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younger kids, I don't really care, like, but ten and fifteen is

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like older. Yeah, that's a
whole different kind of response. Like once

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you're in that life, you in
their life, like they can't forget about

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you so easily obviously, like who
would forget about you? No one.

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But at the same time too,
it's like even coming in, like say,

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if it did get serious, coming
in as a step parent at that

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age is much harder than like when
a kid is young and you're in their

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life for their whole Yeah, let's
go get ice cream, Like it's all

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like the easier things. Yeah,
easy to kind of well, I mean

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maybe you can relate to teenage girls
in the sense of like them literally there

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their big sales. Don't get me
wrong, I definitely could. But like

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you know, just me, as
a child who came from people parents that

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were separated, and I've seen my
mom like date a round, It's never

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been something where I'm like, right
off the bat, it's going to be

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easy for this person coming in,
you know, because and I'm not going

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to make it easy because you're not
somebody that I care to know or I

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don't even know if you're going to
be around for a long time, and

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that's on commitment issues. I respect
that. I really I liked the fact

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that he was sending you voice messages
because when we were going through these voice

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messages, it kind of shows the
person's personality without them like saying it.

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Just like they're, like you said, like their tone or the way they

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say things immediately kind of gives you
a vibe of like how they are.

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Yeah, well that's the thing.
I appreciated it because it was one of

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the messages was a little aggressive where
I'm like, he seems like the type

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of guy to get mad very easy. WHOA was sending me voice notes every

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five minutes? He's type he's got
a little bit of that, Like yeah

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he is. Basically if I can
make time, if I could make time

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with two grown ass kids, and
oh you could make I don't like that,

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SUPERD don't tell me you can't make
time. I'm like, boy,

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you had no idea what's going on
in my life? So please like kittless

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right or not? Like you're a
busy woman, you don't owe anybody,

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especially somebody you just met. So
I started talking that day. See,

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I don't like to generalize, but
I feel like in our culture, like

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men are so much sta and it's
so unattractive to me. It's like super

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toxic. Like they are the type
that have to be in control, they're

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the ones that decide, They're the
ones that are the breadwinners. Like I

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just hate toxic masculinity, Like that's
just not healthy in my opinion, and

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that's a red flag. But I
already gave That's exactly what I told her.

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I'm like, oh, just the
way he's talking is giving off.

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Yeah, and just because you have
to Okay, but do you see your

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two kids like you can always you
know, maybe you have all this free

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time. No. I kind of
ended the conversation there because after that,

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I was just like, m this
is not something that I see for myself.

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I look for you. I love
that. Yes, from immediately,

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you already know what you decided.
Dude. I've been through it too many

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times. I've wasted too much of
my time on people and relationships that had

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the potential or that I just wanted
to have a good time with that ended

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up leading into more that. I
was just like, nah, I think

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that's the hardest part in dating,
too, is ending those I have no

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problem ending. Well, that's what
I want to know, Like how did

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you end it? Like what did
you say? I basically was like,

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you know, I don't know if
I'm looking for anything serious right now,

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so I don't want to waste your
time or mine, especially since you got

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some grown ass kids. And I
literally said that time well no, I

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literally like just kind of left it
up to him. I was like,

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we could still get to know each
other, but we're keeping the conversation on

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here, Like you can't have my
number because I don't want to have to

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block you. Yeah, than me, let's not waste time giving your number,

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right, I don't know you and
I just met you. I just

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won't respond and I'll just block you
from that profile. I think it's different,

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like I'll extend that common courtesy.
If it's like somebody that I've known

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for some time that we're trying to
make things work and maybe it doesn't work,

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then I'll be like, hey,
I think we're better office prints.

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Obviously. I think that's different.
But someone I just met on social media,

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it's acting all crazy, like I'm
sorry. I'm not giving you a

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second time a day. Yeah,
but I'm proud of you that you were

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able to from the beginning just be
like, you know what, this is

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not what I want, and you're
easy to walk away. Well, I

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think that's what you know. You
go through these motions, you learn what

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you don't want in a relationship more
often so then you know eventually whenever what

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you do want comes around, you
could recognize that. I love that and

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it's going to come when you expect
you, Yeah, when you least expect

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it. I'm manifesting it for you. I want it for you so literally,

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but you're manifesting it works for everybody. Oh it does, like seriously

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for me. I'm like, I
want that for you. So I know

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my man is like out like not
in Arizona, Like I honestly do believe

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that, Like he's going to be
in Greece. Home, dude, I

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hope men in the UK. I'm
gonna move to the UK. I want

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to go to Essex. I'm going
in August. And so she comes back

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married, what the hell? But
if I go back married, you know

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it's serious because I feel like I
don't ever anybody I don't just give my

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time a day to anybody. But
I do not record into the system though,

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oh not her figuring it out the
tweak things. But yeah, I

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know that's what I see. I
think my man is out there somewhere,

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is he absolutely is. Yeah,
And I do believe that there are good

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men out there, just like I
believe they are, like because I think

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we're great women. So I mean, obviously there's good men out there.

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I just haven't found one yet.
Same girl, Same But it's one of

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those things too. It's like these
men, they they feel like there's not

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a lot of good females out there
either, So it goes I just need

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someone to let me be me,
like be wild, dance on top of

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the table, like I just want
to secure ass man. I think that's

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what it is like when you date
a batty, which we are, like,

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you just need to be secure and
confident in yourself. And there are

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men out there. It's more common
now to find those men that have put

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their ego aside then back then,
you know maybe, But also I think

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our culture has made situationships such a
thing that it makes it hard for people

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to commit. It's like people want
to like put one foot with somebody,

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but they still want to explore what
else is out there? Like do you

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know what I mean? Yeah?
I mean that is the dating world.

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Oh is that it sucks? I
like you, but I also like her,

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bitch? What right? I mean? I feel like I kind of

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would be the same way, Like
I don't know if I would drop everyone

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for one guy, because I don't
know where situationships are different than dating like

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that I consider dating like when you're
like exploring with everybody, Like situation relationships

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is full blown relationships that you have
with the person without the title. Oh,

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that's where you got to put your
boundary exactly. Because I told when

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when my husband Baby by the way, that's his nickname baby for those who

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don't know, a lot of people
can't pronounce his name. His name is

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Alvado. Oh I can already pictures
who can't pronounce it. But when he

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was like so cause we were just
like messing around, We just like became

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friends with benefits because I didn't want
a relationship. I had just gotten out

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of a serious relationship and I was
like, I'm just trying to have fun

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and I'm trying to have my whole
phase here and I told him that,

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and he's like, cool, let's
have fun. So we had fun,

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but then he wanted it to be
more serious and I didn't want to.

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I was like no, no,
no, no, no, no,

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like legit, no, I told
you I was afraid of this, and

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I was like, I didn't want
you to catch feelings. And he's like,

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let me prove to you that I'm
like the right guy. I know

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it's the wrong time, but I'm
the right guy at the wrong time.

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And I was like, how poetic. I was like, cool, if

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we're going to do this thing,
we're dropping everyone that we're talking like,

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we're going to do this right from
the start. The baseline is going to

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be clean, the boundaries are gonna
be clear. You're not talking to anyone.

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I'm not talking to anyone. And
I find out you are fucking around.

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This is over in a heartbeat,
period friendship in alle and he was

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like period cool, Like from the
get go it had to be like that,

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Yeah, you know, and that's
when you're serious with somebody. Yeah,

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So like that's what it is,
like you invest your time with these

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type of guys like that, not
like just specific like bad example, but

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you know when you're like, but
then when it's time like that, somebody

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wants to commit, they just don't
want to. But then that's kind of

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your sign to like, Okay,
move on, this is over. And

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00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:35.240
that's where it gets hard to like
end it is whenever you've already kind of

205
00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:37.200
invested a little bit, you caught
these feelings, and then it gets a

206
00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:39.799
little bit hard to end it because
you're like, well maybe one day,

207
00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:46.000
because I mean, feeling their day
doesn't happen. Nah unless you're you make

208
00:12:46.039 --> 00:12:48.360
it to that. Dude. This
is how you know I could not I

209
00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:52.360
couldn't be a whole the first person
I hold around with. Ye, I'm

210
00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:56.600
married. I'm married with you.
No, I'm not gonna lie. I'm

211
00:12:56.600 --> 00:12:58.679
not gonna lie. I'm trying to
get into my whole fairs right now too,

212
00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:03.440
because I'll like, I need to
get some vitamin due. Save yourself

213
00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:05.759
from the woe phase. Don't do
it. I know. He tells me

214
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:11.600
all the time that he saved the
ho don't save. You don't want to

215
00:13:11.639 --> 00:13:18.840
be saved. Saved. He thought
all he did was so drop the streets.

216
00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:24.440
You stripped me so much fun literally, but is too funny. Yeah,

217
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:28.960
I'm not to worried about it.
No, never be worried about I'm

218
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:31.440
just living my life and if it
comes, it comes. Everyone's timeline is

219
00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:35.759
different and yours going to come,
and it's it's for a reason. It's

220
00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.240
like the man that's meant for you
is still developing. Yeah, and I'm

221
00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:41.559
honestly not even there mentally, Like
I'm kind of more focused on like where

222
00:13:41.559 --> 00:13:45.720
I want to be, like in
my career, my professional like my life

223
00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:50.679
to you know, be focused on
like that. I mean, if it

224
00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:54.679
happens, it'll happen, but you
have to bring peace into my life,

225
00:13:54.759 --> 00:14:00.600
not more chaos to it. Yeah, because I'm chaotic already, like alone

226
00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:03.720
like this myself out like I'm already
I'm already crazy as it is. My

227
00:14:03.799 --> 00:14:07.759
thing is like I already have so
many things going on as it is,

228
00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:11.759
Like I don't know how I'm gonna
make time for someone else. I'm looking

229
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.200
for someone to really fit into my
life as well as I can fit into

230
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.600
their life, I guess. But
like I get, I have, like

231
00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:18.840
I have so much family stuff I
do, like so many of the work

232
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:22.559
events and everything. Like someone has
to be really understanding, you know,

233
00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:26.200
the one when it seems when it's
easy. I need I need it to

234
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:31.080
be easy. Yeah, but good
sex. Yeah, that's a musk.

235
00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:37.639
Mine started on that. Yeah,
I'm gonna be like drop the pants right

236
00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:41.600
now, from the get go,
from the get go. No, I'm

237
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:45.519
just kidding. I do believe not
being all corny, like it gets better

238
00:14:45.559 --> 00:14:48.399
when there's feelings. Oh absolutely.
But I also don't want to be blind,

239
00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:50.279
like I don't want to say it's
big when it's not. Like,

240
00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:56.879
I just want to be honest,
always honest with myself and objects. And

241
00:14:56.919 --> 00:15:03.559
I don't have to lie either.
Tell someone even though it's not. I've

242
00:15:03.639 --> 00:15:09.120
always said I'll bust and their ego. It's not it like I'll let you

243
00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:16.200
know. I like that I'll bust
and their ego. I'm not shy,

244
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:18.320
like I will not hype you up. I know it's hard for me to

245
00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:20.799
comment on that because mine literally started
with that. That's not a very cute

246
00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:24.200
story to tell our kids, you
know, like we were just friends with

247
00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:26.559
benefits, Like that's the reason I
stuck around because it was good. Yeah,

248
00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:28.840
good for you. I'm glad you
have a great sex life. You

249
00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:33.000
were so hall like it was one
like drunk because I didn't want I didn't

250
00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:35.440
want anything serious, anything serious,
but it was like we were partying,

251
00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:37.840
We're going now. I felt safe
with him. He didn't seem like a

252
00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:41.360
creep, he wasn't trying. One
night, we got too drunk, shit

253
00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:46.840
happened and I was like, hello, I'll continue this, you know.

254
00:15:46.919 --> 00:15:50.200
I was like, I think that
that's very romantic. Yeah. The hello

255
00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:54.600
is the pitible moment for me.
That's why I was like, Wow,

256
00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:56.960
how kute. I was like,
hey, you just want to like mess

257
00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.279
around because that's what I'm trying to
do right now. And he was like

258
00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:06.279
yeah, sure, Wow, I
mean yeah, it was my first time

259
00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:08.399
just messing around with someone I was
in with my entire life. Not my

260
00:16:08.519 --> 00:16:11.960
entire life, but like majority of
my life. I've always been in a

261
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:18.399
damn serious relationship since seventh grade.
Bro, seventh grade, your relationship four

262
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:22.080
years with another person and then I
jumped into shoes and then you got married.

263
00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:25.960
I love that for you, though. Yeah, and I've been with

264
00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:30.159
him for going on twelve years.
Twelve. Yeah, congratulations, thanks.

265
00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:36.039
But I've never had like a serious
boyfriend, but not no, not wanting

266
00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:40.679
had like your heart first heartbreak.
I have not. I'm normally the heartbreaker

267
00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:44.279
This is why as the older I
get, the more cautious I am of

268
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:48.879
who I fall in love with.
O. That's scary. It is not

269
00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:55.320
to scare you because for a while
I was like, everyone has to experience

270
00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:57.440
heartbreak. Now I take a pivotal
moment in your life. I agree,

271
00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:03.200
because it changes you. But also
my husband, he's I'm like his first

272
00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:06.519
girl, like serious, serious,
serious girl, Like he dated here and

273
00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:10.160
there, but it never got to
the point over love was like that was

274
00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:15.640
it, you know, So he's
never experienced heartbreak. Hopefully we never divorced.

275
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:18.039
Yeah, oh his heart would be
shattered for it. It's like,

276
00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:22.079
I guess not everyone has to go
through it. Maybe not. I mean

277
00:17:22.119 --> 00:17:26.319
I hope not, but you just
never know. I feel like if I

278
00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:29.279
were to go through it at whatever
age, like you can't avoid heartbreak,

279
00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.119
Like if you fall in love right
now, I could think he's the one

280
00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:34.559
and can completely like break my heart
or whatever. I feel like everything happens

281
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:37.680
for a reason, and you're meant
to go through certain things in life to

282
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.279
teach you certain things. I wish
someone broke my heart. I would be

283
00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:47.440
crazy. I'd be like that Carrie
Underwood. It real windows like I've always

284
00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:48.720
said that I've wanted to know that
because I want to be able to sing

285
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:52.640
in that mad wrong and just like
cry up a club like not the Clucks

286
00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:56.599
of Ghetto, but like I might
you know, have bathroom conversations with girls

287
00:17:56.680 --> 00:18:02.200
and like, you know, like
my madness, my two big heartbreaks like

288
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:06.799
changed me one eighty well, that
used to be fucking crazy, bro,

289
00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:11.240
like I would find ways to get
in your phone, you know. And

290
00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:14.000
because when I knew there was ship, I was like, I'm gonna find

291
00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:15.400
it. I'm gonna find the evidence. You're not gonna make me look crazy

292
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:22.200
in a reason. But now I'm
the type. Let's say, let's say

293
00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:29.359
if baby were to ever be messy'd
be dead. I'd be like I wouldn't

294
00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:30.720
be snooping, I wouldn't be trying
to find it. I'd be like,

295
00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:36.559
it's gonna it's the truth will always
reveal itself and you are fucked if it

296
00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:37.680
is. Like I tell him,
I was like, if you ever mess

297
00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:41.839
up like there is, I have
zero tolerance. I'm not gonna be trying

298
00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:45.799
to make myself miserable trying to find
it. It's gonna it's gonna come out

299
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.720
and you're done and there's no,
there's no chance, and he's like,

300
00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:52.039
what did your ex get chances?
And I was like, because I didn't

301
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:56.119
know better? Yeah, so that
what kind of response is that? I

302
00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:06.440
see? That would have been like
okay with you ever now Like he's just

303
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:07.880
like, how come you were so
nice to them and so mean to me?

304
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:11.400
And then well they made me stronger. That's gonna make me mean,

305
00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:14.400
It's like now I'm strong that might
know how to deal with these graduations.

306
00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:18.519
Yeah, so yeah for you hopefully
no, no no slip ups because that

307
00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:22.359
would be wild, that would be
crazy. But yeah, yeah, no

308
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:26.400
slip ups. So yeah, have
you gone through your first heartbreak? I've

309
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:30.880
gone through a few heartbreaks, but
mostly from situationships, not like something serious

310
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:33.880
serious where they met how your family
met their family and it was like I

311
00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:37.240
love you and you like, no, nothing crazy like that. It's just

312
00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:41.400
you catch feelings during the catch feelings. Yeah, and there's just been yeah

313
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:45.279
things here and there. I only
have like one real relationship whenever I was

314
00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:48.319
like eighteen, and it lasted for
like six months and that was like real.

315
00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:52.440
But I grew during that time too, So yeah that was crazy though,

316
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:56.240
but no, not really damn,
just a whole bunch of heartbreak from

317
00:19:56.279 --> 00:20:00.279
situationships because these dudes be playing around. No dude, I literally live y

318
00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:04.480
curiously through like all of the Like
series and Vampire Diary, Like I lived

319
00:20:04.519 --> 00:20:10.920
my romantic life through all these You
know, it is scary out It's never

320
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:15.359
been romantic out here. It's crazy
because you have guys. This is what's

321
00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:18.400
funny. It's like, you have
guys that would do anything for you,

322
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:22.599
super sweet, they get buy you
things, they send you coffee money,

323
00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:26.559
like, they just do everything right. But they're not the ones you want.

324
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:30.160
And then the ones that you want
are always the ones that you know

325
00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:33.359
you shouldn't be with. It's so
like, why are we like this?

326
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:37.519
We have the guys that would do
it all, but we're not I'm not

327
00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:42.000
attracted to them, sad. A
lot of it is like being open minded,

328
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.799
which is extremely hard. Like I
was so close minded when I when

329
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:48.319
Baby wanted happy, but I was
like, I was like, he is

330
00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:51.960
straight up the right guy at the
wrong time. So I'm going to pass

331
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.119
up on mister Wright because I don't
want it at this moment, you know

332
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:56.759
what I mean. I felt like, what's the right thing to do?

333
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:02.119
Here. I do need to be
more open minded, but I also have

334
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:07.240
extremely high standards and I think that's
okay, but you know, I'll but

335
00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:10.160
I guess now, I won't bend. I don't know, I just I

336
00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:12.759
couldn't have standards, but also like
be more open yeah, a little bit,

337
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:15.039
just a little bit, because people, I mean, you can always

338
00:21:15.559 --> 00:21:19.480
make someone better, and because someone
can make you better, you know what

339
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:23.200
I mean, you grow together,
and I want someone to grow with obviously,

340
00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:26.400
like we're always going to be changing
because we're not We're not perfect,

341
00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:30.279
you know what I mean. I
was. I was very I was very

342
00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:33.119
damaged joining the relationship with baby.
I had a lot of trust issues.

343
00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:37.640
And he had to almost like tear
down my walls. Oh that's so romantic

344
00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:38.680
you look at it that way.
And I had to be open minded in

345
00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:41.599
the sense like what he was saying
was making sense because I easily could could

346
00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:45.640
have dismissed everything he was saying,
you know, been like I'm not crazy,

347
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:48.799
like you know, but like I
was like, okay, cool,

348
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:51.559
He's like, you're holding a lot
of resentment, You're holding a lot of

349
00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:53.119
anger towards people in your life,
Like you really got to let that shit

350
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.079
go because I was like taking it
out on him, that's real. Yeah,

351
00:21:56.119 --> 00:22:00.759
and he didn't deserve that, Yeah, exactly, so crazy and he

352
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:03.839
didn't deserve that. And I was
giving him that. But he checked me

353
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:04.680
and he sent me straight, and
I was like, I need somebody in

354
00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:08.920
my life that's gonna check me.
And I listened to him and heal and

355
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:15.240
help you heal healthier ways to deal
with your resentment or your trauma toward anybody.

356
00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:21.000
Yeah. We're all fucked up.
Yeah, and we all cope differently

357
00:22:21.079 --> 00:22:27.400
too. That's what I want.
I need that for sure. You gotta

358
00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:42.400
be open to it though. Start
well, I'm us cat. Sometimes when

359
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:48.200
the alcohol be mixing, they don't
be looking at real quick. Hey,

360
00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:52.400
the girls won't be that all over
them either when they're not like the hottest

361
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:56.319
guy in the streets. Yeah.
True, because when you got the sexiest

362
00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:59.920
man, it is scary. Let
him keep that about that either, like

363
00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:03.720
all these If a girl like really
is all over my man, I'm like,

364
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:07.720
it's all how they react though,
Like it's how I'm gonna get hit

365
00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:11.519
on all the time. So if
I'm dating somebody, I'm not gonna be

366
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:17.039
like, you know, entertaining that
I'm like, oh, but we still

367
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:18.759
feel you know what I mean?
I mean, you can feel attracted to

368
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:22.720
somebody and no, like they're walking
out the house and you know they're the

369
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:25.559
like the hottest man ever. You're
gonna be like, god, you know

370
00:23:25.559 --> 00:23:30.799
what I mean, Like when you
even know, when you yeah, yeah,

371
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:33.240
when you know you trust them,
you still have those feelings. Oh

372
00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:36.960
yeah, I bet that's yeah,
you know what I mean. Yeah,

373
00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:40.720
Like, especially too, if you
have a past of like talking to people

374
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:45.599
that like are kind of whatever,
don't really have any regard, then you

375
00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:51.359
could definitely have those feelings. Yeah. So you're saying go for the but

376
00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:57.720
like, no, no, no, because cheat too. But a seven

377
00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:04.480
deserves love that's deserved. Devin is
above Aver exactly like we've they see.

378
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:10.920
Yeah, and all everybody's spectrum is
different, Like my attractiveness of a man

379
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:14.599
is different than level of attractiveness.
The same with you, Like we all

380
00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:22.160
find different people attractive. So yeah, it'd be interesting to see who you

381
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:26.079
guys end up with. Yeah,
we're going to listen back to this and

382
00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:29.079
be like, look at them now, they're all married. No literally imagined

383
00:24:29.559 --> 00:24:33.519
one day there was there was literally
one point in time where I was stood

384
00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:36.559
up so many times. When my
dad started calling me the stand up queen,

385
00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:40.839
I was like, I don't know
what's going on here, but this

386
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.880
is not okay, And so like
I did some work and then yeah,

387
00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:45.759
that never happened to me again,
but I did. That was a wild

388
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:51.680
time. I don't know. I
just think, like, I don't know

389
00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:55.559
if it was like my energy was
off or yeah, or maybe they just

390
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:59.200
got shy when maybe they were just
cheap ass men or whatever. I don't

391
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:02.119
know. Maybe I'll just pick a
I'm wrong, yep, picking them wrong.

392
00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:06.039
That's I have a record of doing
that, honestly, picking them wrong.

393
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.880
But yeah, now it doesn't happen. Now I get malls paid.

394
00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:15.400
So okay. So we said purposely
before we started recording this episode that we

395
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.680
were going to get into like our
history, like ourselves in the next one

396
00:25:18.680 --> 00:25:21.359
because we ain't got a lot of
time today. It's kind of a crazy

397
00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:22.279
week. But next week, for
sure, we've got to make time to

398
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:26.279
like really deep dive into each one
of us. Dam you're going to be

399
00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:30.279
up in my crevices. Yes,
we are all up in there. Okay,

400
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:33.839
Oh oh, there goes my email
again. But I can't hear it

401
00:25:36.359 --> 00:25:37.480
okay bye, bye bye,