Talking about tapes. Hello Royce, welcome back. Hi Wow, it's been
a long time since I've been here. I can't believe you came all the
way back to the video store. Obviously it's a different day because I'm wearing
a different shirt, obviously, And I assume you came back because our Scarface
episode did so well. It's probably our most viewed episode, five million views.
That was crazy. I can't believe Scarface got five million views. Unbelievable.
Who knows how much it has by the time this air is probably ten
now, who knows. Anyway, we're back to talk about Blade one.
I left the DVD at home and the only copy of Blade we had in
the store was Blade Trinity. So I'm sorry, but you'll be sorry.
I remember. See he's not going to tell you this. I was like,
I want to do Blade trains and we got to do them in order,
and like, all right, and see this or this is karma.
Yeah, you're really eager to talk about Blade Trinity A good one. Yeah,
yeah, it's really great. Yes, Blade. So you like Blade?
I love Blade. It is the first Marvel movie, Howard the Duck.
It's the first Marvel movie that kicked off this era, but keep going.
Of course, Yes, Howard, how could I forget Howard the Duck?
There were duck boobs in it, Yes, there were you know what's
in the Blade movie real boobs. That's true. I mean I always liked
it. This was like, this was like peak Wesley Snipes. Like we're
talking like demolition Man Blade, Like this was when he was Passenger fifty seven,
fifty seven, always been on blacks. I love that. Fucking Arnold
Swartzenegger gets a lot of a lot of like, oh, Arnold Schwartzenegger with
his one with his one liners. People really sleep on on Wesley Snipe when
yeah, I have I thought I had Passenger fifty seven. I'm real upset
that I don't see Passenger fifty seven anyway. Yes, this is peak Wesley
Snipe. Yes, what was he in? What was using that movie?
Like Murder fifteen hundred? I think when he was she was in the newer
Expendables. Oh god, no, talk about that. Yes, Wesley's side
was awesome and this movie was awesome. And Royce, I know this is
big for you. It was a win for diversity. Finally, I mean
I think Spawn beat it a year earlier, but that movie's not as as
much as I love the movie Spawn. It's not as finely remembered as Blade.
But this doing well, it opened up the doors for you to get
your own superhero like America Chavez or whoever Selma Hyak played. So this is
probably why you have a connection for this film, right, whoever or Samahayak
played. I'll have you know she played Judy Eternal I believe was the name
of the Oh, yes, Judith, Judith the Turtle. I forgot that
was her name. You never remember. It was about a family name of
the Eternals. Right. I blacked out during that movie because it was so
bad. But you probably woke up at the end for the post credit scene
where we hear the new Blade off camera. But anyway, keep going and
and somebody you like Blade? Why do you like When was the first time
you saw Blade? Is fantastic? And I think it was a spinoff of
two long Foo was crazy how they connected that? I don't know. Food
is pretty fucking good movie. That movie is amazing, awesome. It's underrated,
honestly, really believe that it's so good. Ring the late Patrick's slazy.
Yes, yes, but anyway, what year to Blakee come out.
Blade was ninety eight. I believe ninety eight, Okay, so I was,
oh, man, it's perfect. I was sixteen. That was peak
per that's a peak age for the Blade, for the because when you think
about it, ninety eight, So it was right. It was right before
the Matrix came out, okay, because Matrix was ninety nine and there was
this whole that whole era of movies was not a lot of flashing lights nightclubs.
Yes, very like you know whoa techno man, Everyone's wearing black leather.
Man, God, it's so cool. We're talking about that when we
did X Men. It's like, this is right off the Matrix and stuff.
So everyone had to have black leather on. Maybe you like if you
have robot eers. It's it's it was. It was really good. As
a matter of fact, Blade wasn't one I saw in the theaters. Blade
was one that I saw when it came on like HBO. Yeah, I
remember renting the tape when it came out. I was like, I probably
would have been eight or nine when it came out, and I remember renting
the VHS tape and like just falling in love with it. Was it rated
R right, it are Yeah, like it wasn't like a spidery. It
was such an obscure character that they could just do whatever. So they're like,
yeah, let's make it a hard R action movie. Yeah. And
I think the first rating R movie I saw was RoboCop. But yeah,
and this is like back in the wild West when radarar movies had toys.
It's like, you can't do that anymore either. And I will talk about
Deacon Frost the toy and how it ties into the deleted ending of the movie.
Oohn, we had a very different do you not know about? Oh,
I don't know. I'm excited about Oh, this movie's climax was very
different. And there was a cameo that cut out but anyway, really oh
yeah, a cameo a character who had a movie recently. But anyway,
yeah, so what did you know about Blade before you saw this movie.
I was always a big comic book guy, but I didn't really read that
Blade, Like I'm you know, mind you. I was like, you
know, X Men, really into Batman, you know, stuff like that,
and and I uh, never really read about it. But I mean
when you think about it, you're like, oh, yeah, it's this
badass vampire hunt. You're like, oh, you sold me, like I'm
in like this is and keep something in mind because Blade came out at a
time when the market wasn't saturated with vampire stuff or superhero or superhero stuff in
general. Paman and Robin and spawned. But you're not right. I have
a lot of comedy but nothing but nothing, nothing like that. So the
market wasn't saturated till it was. Actually, you know, it was a
also a really different take, a really different take on your classic like vampire
movies, which is like, oh, you're stuck in a castle and you
know there's a this is like oh, yeah, I know, badass,
techno vampire guy. Let's go and and that's why I liked it. Yeah.
So the comics, Blada's British. It's from the Tomb of Dracula comics.
I think he's part of like a team and he used to wear a
red trench coat with green glasses and green pants. But in the nineties he
ended up joining a team called the Nights Talkers with like ghost Rider and stuff,
and that's where he got the black motorcycle outfit nice, which was then
used in the Animate The Spider Man Animated series episode I watched that. Okay,
that's all you need to watch before this movie, because so Aby Aviara,
he had like freedom to do whatever you wanted with these characters as Marvel
didn't really care, dude, and it made the movie better. Yeah.
Well, I'm talking about like the Spider Man cartoon. I'm sorry. Originally
Blade's powers were same origin. His mom was bitten by a vampire. Uh,
but he just had an immunity to vampire vampirism. The cartoon is which
was what added the whole he has their powers, and it added the character
Whistler, and uh what else did it add in? It added him being
American. The cartoon did all the cartoon. That's crazy. O. Yeah.
And then I guess when Avi a Rod was producing this, he's like,
I like what we did with Blade in the cartoon, just do that
for the movie. Like fuck the too Madracula, Fuck the British thing.
He's not British. He's a cool American guy and he's Wesley Stipes and he
wears black. Have fun and that's cool when you when you that's the upside.
I think a lot of the times when you use characters that aren't as
well known. You have a little bit more pretty much it and no one's
gonna care. You're not gonna like It's not like if the you know,
made Batman's parents live and you're like, Okay, what are you doing?
Yeah you know, yeah, he'd just be a rich guy. Yeah.
But they another reason it's funny because you watchuff like Blay, like in hindsight,
you do the like this is what they took from us, because it
is so if you think about it, a lot of stuff is like I
was, I was actually talking to you off fair about it. But there's
there's this with Mark with this movie is like if you stray from the formula,
it's actually a problem where it's like, oh, you're not following you
know, the paint by numbers thing with this Blade movie, like you said,
it was just like we've never done this before. We don't care what
the freedom of not having to worry about you better make a billion dollars.
Yes, it was like, oh, he maakes like sixty eighty million dollars.
Yeah, and that's and that's fine. And I again, it made
vampires which had gotten boring, it made them cool. It made it made
them Honestly, I mean, years before this, we have the Gary omen
Dracula, and that's so fucking cool. How you top that? You had
to come up with something. I rewatched that recently and I was waiting for
Blade to show up. He never did. He would have solved that thing.
It was in the past. Blade wasn't born two years. But don't
worry. That's why counter Reeves accent was so bad. Yes, but don't
worry. Blade does fight Traculin comics and he will fight Tracula and Blade Trinity.
He gets there. He gets there eventually. Such a good movie.
Yeah, So it's funny, Like, you're right, they had a lot
of freedom with this character. There weren't really any expectations for the character,
like, no, let's make a badass movie. Maybe there was some there
that's like why does he have a British accent? Well, like you said,
the cartoon was so popular that they just they just went with that.
And luckily I had seen that cartoon like right before the movie. So I'm
like, cool, I know a lot about Blade. It turns out I
didn't know anything about the comic version, but I didn't need to. Yeah,
I went to the cartoon version Sea That's why I was excited because I
really liked that episode where he felt morbious and whatnot. God, So when
I saw that they were making like a live action movie, like, I'm
just being like, Oh, that's guy from the Spider Man cartoon. I
really want to see that movie, which is great because maybe now somebody will
kill Jared Lito's character character. Maybe it'll be New Blade. I don't know.
Uh No, he can't be because New Blade they have to explain why
he was. He was the guy that owned the club and the Luke Cage
thing. Same guy by the way. Oh and Marvel b were using characters
a lot, and his sister is the bad guy, but she was also
the mom who incited the Civil War by making Tony Starkfiel bad. You're rot.
Yeah, Marvel reuses actors a bunch. Yeah, I know. I
know they do it because I think what happened, what happened. What happens
is is like a lot of them initially do like a Marvel thing, like
oh, yeah, this will be my thing. But then now it's like,
I think it's become a badge of honor for every actor wants to collect
the Marvel. I think every major actor will be a Marvel movie within ten
years. Every want to be because they're all even if it's a bit part,
they're all in them now. And it's funny because like like she was
like a bit part Alfre Woodward I think I think she was a bit part
in that Civil War movie and then they made her main character. But like
Marshall Alley was a main character in Luke Cage and now he's Blade in the
same universe. I'm a little bummed because one of the one of the first
characters that I think Marvel we used them out well Sony movies, like Bruce
Campbell did like three different characters, even though it was three different characters,
surprising to show up with a new movie in the what movie in the the
New Spider Man movie. Yeah, you don't worry if any time there was
to do it shows up in a different movie. Oh I know which,
But you know what's funny. I should have known. I should have known.
I mentioned in that review, like at one point if they did Spider
Man for it was going to be revealed all three of those Bruce Campbell's were
the same person and they were mysterio. But they never end up making the
movie but it would turned out to be uh, what's his face is real?
Uncle Ben? Since they never told Holland's uncle Ben never had it.
No, my head cannon, Uncle Ben is either Jason Alexander or Joe Peshi.
Joe Pesci's great Now I'm thinking it'd be great. Yeah, Jason Alexander
because he was too busy in that blockbuster film North he had a plot line
with Barisa Tome and Seinfellow is the only reason I picked that. But anyway,
this was directed by Stephen Norrington, who was a special effects guy.
He did special effects for like Hell Raiser four, Aliens, Alien three.
Uh director, Yes, he directed one movie before this and I forgot to
write it down, but then he directed this. He directed another movie and
then his last directorial effort was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and he hasn't directed
a major motion picture since. But he has gone back to doing like School
Movie Killed Sean Connery. He has gone back to doing like sculpting and effects
work. But yeah, he he had a lot of like projects that were
like almost made, Like he almost did The Crow. He almost did a
couple other comic book movies and they just never took off for whatever reason.
Crow another movie that falls in this genre. Oh, yes, I don't
know. I wish was there a name for like techno goth. I don't
know, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, it's got the Crow sequels
where it's just the same movie over and over again. Yeah, but for
that was just watch thing on WCW. Honestly, it's a better Crow at
that point. Oh, Darby Allen's friend, you said a lot of things
made me mad in the past, but that may be the most things made
the most mad in my life. This sting. I know him as Darby
Allen's Oh, Darby Allen's dad. He come to him the ring all the
time. It's nice that Darby Allen and his dad get along. So nice.
And this movie was written by David S. Goyer. Yeah that I
know who wrote the other ones. He directed Blade Trice, written a lot.
Yes, he's written a lot of good movies and a lot about it.
He tends to direct bad movies, oh besides Blade Trinity, But he
writes a lot of good movies, like the Batman movies and a bunch of
other ones. He's he's pretty talented writer, not always the best director.
Yeah, but he's hit or miss. H I think he's the one who
really pushed for Blade to remain black because I think there was a producer that
was like, I might not do well, let's make it a white guy.
It's like, how about we don't do that good? Yeah? Yeah,
that was like one of the biggest like things about is like, oh,
look a diverse you know we well, I mean to be fair.
Wesley Snipe sounds like a white name. Yeah, but have you see thirty
Rock when they do that joke? No, you know, I've seen a
few. I didn't want to sit down watch it. I'm sorry. Yeah,
I know it's not all the terrible Eloch Star Trek movies you watch,
but yeah, I mean David scoria Wrights is very hit and miss. But
this is one of those times where I'm like, leave it alone. No
other people get mad at get mad like, oh, you just don't want
to see a black airplace a white air white. No, that's not true
at all. Yeah, I just want I'm a very I'm a very like
continuity kind of guy. I want the guy to be like I would.
I don't want to do the either. I don't I don't want I don't
want Paul Bettany to play plate, you know what I mean, Like,
I don't want it either. I want you know, you know if the
combo caras like this, you know, do that. I don't mind.
I don't mind the race Shanean sometimes like it doesn't bother me with some characters.
It really doesn't. No, No, I mean, look, there
are times where they do it to be like Louka, we did, aren't
we special? And it's like, no, you did it because you know
you pissed people off and you'll get back and you make people who are not
going to see your movie happy, And it's like yeah, but they did
do something with Spawn where the studio apparently was afraid the movie was too black,
so they made his friend character white, who's black in the comics.
First off, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't consider Spawn Spawn too black.
It's just a movie. Like again, that was that was just what did
he do? He was the worst part about the Spawn movie was John Legamo.
Really, yeah, he's over acting whatever anyway blade he did. He
did act Impasta Face in the Mario Brothers movie. And I will never forget
that is or about if anyone should be mad, it should be it's me
and I am very mad. But yeah, let's get into this awesome movie
because with Tracy, Lord's taking some unlucky guy to a meeting of Lawrence shit.
Uh. And this whole setup is good because they're like, oh,
wow, this guy's gonna get lucky with this hot lady. And they're like,
oh, why are they going to the meat packing plant? That's weird.
Oh it's a secret nightclub. Oh this must be a speakeasy or whatever.
And then like you start to like catch on that there's something weird going
on. You get introduced to the character of Quinn, and we see Stephen
Dorf Steak and Frost for like a minute, but yeah, suddenly everything rains
blood. Now this so you have to forgive me because I do mix up
a lot of the because I think each Blade movie had like a nightclub stein,
right, is this the one where they were making out with the razor
blades? Because do you want to talking about though, Yeah, I can't
recall the razor blade part. Yeah, because there was one one of the
Blade movies where they're going to a nightclub and it's like, oh, the
vampires are making out with razor blades. I'm like it's pretty metal, I
guess, but like do vampires like the taste of other vampires blood? I
watched this last night. I didn't. I don't recall that. Okay,
so it might be Blade too, you know what I do recalling the scene?
Quick? Get me royalty free techno right away. We're making a Blade
movie. There is a ten hour loop of that online. I believe it.
How do you think I go to sleep every night? I go to
sleep with that beat, the ten hour loop every time. I'm sure we
all do. I always whenever I try to remember it, it always turns
into the rude sandstorm because I'm always like, how did the Blade song go?
Again? And then I watched the last night. I'm like, no,
it goes. This scene is awesome and horrifying with like the fast editing
and the fangs are coming out and that guy's like freaking out. I love
the reveal of Blade, just like that whole camera movement a bit moving back
and everything is blood. You know, I think non in blood is blades
like leg that you see pans up and you're like, oh shit, this
guy, this guy's here to fuck things up, badass, Like I mean,
just yeah, everything about that character was done perfectly. Yes, obviously
when we got to Trinity got a little little wonky, it got better,
right, Yeah, it was great because you know what, when I watched
Blade, you know what, I thought, I go, this is great,
but this movie we better. It had triple H in it. That
would make when I watched Wesley Snipe's performance in this movie, I'm like,
you know, this is great, but I could tell he was actually there
with the actors. I'd rather him film all his scenes separate from all the
actors. That way, he doesn't react to anything that they're saying. Yeah,
like uh like that new uh, the new zombie movie that came out
where they recast oh tataro. Yeah. And it was so weird because it
was like, hey, you, why don't you do this? And then
it was it was like, look like we're in a different place. Yeah
I will do that. I'm like, what is this now? That's the
thing of Blade Trinity. Wesley Snipes didn't want to be on how much Wesley
Snipes got paid for the first Blade. I'm wondering what he was by three
he was making more a lot more money. But I'm wondering if this was
still when he when he was, well, he got probably he got paid
a lot and he got to keep it because he wasn't paying his taxes.
That's fine. And a little prison time and he was fine. Yeah,
yeah, that's sort of about But yeah, he did have like a whole
meltdown on Blade trendingy, something was going on there. But anyway, he's
probably the fact that he had so many taxes. Probably he probably should have
paid him like look, look, look, look, taxation is theft.
I know I'm against them, I'm against it too, but the jail we
could agree on that. So Blade is awesome. He starts like blasting these
vampires away, slice them up, and they turned into cgi skeletons that turned
into dust. To be fair, yes, you're right. They were talking
about or late ninety cgl. Luckily it's all done really fast. It's like
there are a couple seeds in this where they want to linger on something for
too long and it's like, yeah, it didn't. They not the best,
not the best, but this stuff is fine with them just turning the
dust. I love the fucking scene with him in the boomerang when he throws
it around, it spins, yeah, and it comes back to them then
all their heads fall off. Now I was always nice of their heads to
wait to fall off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I always appreciate that the silver is really consistent in this movie. Yeah.
Now, I was always confused about Quinn Donald log yeah, who is in
what we do in the Shadows? Did you see that episode? Wait?
Uh wait, yeah, I've seen all the episode. Yeah, when they
call the Vampire Council and Donald loag yes, yeah, yeah, yea,
and then the Quinn from Blade, he's like, no, that's a character.
He's like, but the whole thing is like I really enjoyed the characters,
so I looked up real vampires I became, and then Blade skyping into
the meeting. Yeah, it's also a vampire. Yeah. So Blade is
even said he's like, I keep using all this stuff on you and slicing
you up, and he keep coming back, and they got tried fire this
time. He's like, why is he so much stronger than the other vampires.
There's a lot of stuff they kind of don't really They really kind of
just gloss over. It's like, oh, he's just a special vampire.
And because he stakes him with the silver, it doesn't do anything. Lights
him on fire, it doesn't do anything, and spoiler at the end,
he does cut his head off and that's what finally does it. It's like,
why didn't you try to cut his head off earlier because you went in
the cool action shots. Who that's true, wouldn't have gotten all the cool
acts? What else? What else are you gonna do? Out hearing dum
dunn dun dun dun dun dun dunt dun dun du dun dun vampires they really
like techno man. But yeah, so I love that he like lights him
on fire and then just leaves that human guy there, Like the cops come
in. The human guy's like, I don't know what just happened? Can
I gotta logo is still like moving around. Yeah. Also, I kind
of feel like at this point people should know vampires exist because they're having nightclub
parties and they're not. Well, that's the thing we find out, like
in a couple of scenes later the Vampire Council apparently they're used to staying quiet
and Deacon Frost and his friends are the ones that are causing this ruckus,
almost trying to instigate it like a war. So I think like the whole
the clubs and stuff are new, and I don't think they were like a
thing before. But yeah, eventually people are gonna find out what the fuck
happened. But they take the body to Karen, who's a hematologist. Karen,
what a Karen? Uh? And she's there with her ex boyfriend,
nurse guy, and he's like, look, how weird this guy's blood is.
She's like, what is this a joke? That is a hematologist talk
to each other? By the way, Yeah, hey, check out the
wacky blood on this bloke. Yeah you think we're gonna get back together?
No, okay, look at this guy's blood. I still remember having the
shit scared out of me when Donald Lowe popped up and grabbed the guy.
Oh yeah, I was like, oh my god, Like I didn't expect
it because he looks he is charred. He looks horrifying, and he's got
like white eyes of the white teeth, looks like a panther. It's so
fucking scary practical effects, yes again, but yeah, he bites Karen.
He like takes off into the night because Blade is chasing him, and like
so for most of the movie, Blade is this like stoic, serious,
quiet guy, but he has moments. Yeah, well a whole snap and
what's called security guard shoots him and he's got body armory. He just goes
around and goes you want to do damn? I it's as trying to skate
up hill. That's another one. Like he rarely acts like that. He
only seems out of character. It does a little bit like he goes from
being the character Blade to being Wesley Snipe. Yeah, it's almost as if
like the Blade persona is like what he wants to be, but his real
self comes out once he turns into Will Smith from Independence State. You do
not to shoot that green thing at me. I'm like, wait, that's
not in your character at all. You're supposed to be this badass vampire hunner.
The one liners, I will agree with you. The one liners are
a little jarring, especially with the tone they're setting. It'd be like if
using a similar kind of you know, techno goth movie, if Neo from
the Matrix all of a sudden started shooting one liners, you'd be like,
this doesn't feel right. To be fair, he did do this, yeah,
but that's not a one liner. That's looking pretty bad ass. That
is looking pretty badass. But what didn't look more badass. If he just
did a whole movie doing this, wouldn't that be cool? Only if it's
an HBO Max exclusive. Yes, that's all I want to see is all
the kung fu and stuff. I loved it, But all I want to
see Neo is doing is this. Hey, hey, don't forget about social
commentary? Yes, yes, which I didn't even get that. I don't
even mind to be have social commentary. But it was all over the place.
I'm like, what's the comment sequels are bad? Like, I don't
get it simulatte Oh God, go back and watch our Matrix Resurrections review.
I forgot until I watched this last night that he straight up just launches her
out the window to throw on the other I was fucking dying and it was
like, elbow pops out. It's just like my elbow. And he's like,
I'll let me fix that. He's like, pops it back in.
He's not graceful. Don't you love That's a great scene to explain, don't
you love movies? Understanding of popping the elbow, popping your shoulder or whatever.
It's like, yeah, you can't pop it back in. You're gonna
be an extruciating pain. Yeah, you just pop back in your and our
arms find the rest of the movie. Yeah, that's not how it works.
I saw God's Olla versus Kong where Kung's bubble pop out and he just
hit a skyscraper and then fixed it and it's fine. And Kong had a
sword and or an ax. Yeah, you're right. A sword would be
ridiculous. A sword. I would have walked out of the movie, even
though I was watching it in my living room. I would have walked out
of the living room if it had been a sword. But it was an
axe. I'm like that I can get behind. I love that he's killing
I love blades killing all these vampires. Yeah, which is awesome, But
it seems like they spend way too much time making cool looking weapons instead of
functional ones, Like yeah, you know what I mean. It's like the
guns make no sense to me. Hey, you know it also will work
a regular gun with a silver bullet, and you don't need like this here
he's holding one in the back of this. You don't need one of these
like weird looking like it looks like they spray painted a NERF gun. Yeah,
yeah, I don't know, but I will say love his haircut.
His haircut is pretty great. Bad ass. Now would you mind if he
had a red trench coat and green pants only if he was British? Very
importantly that he's British. I'm shocked for the new one. They didn't try
to be more accurate and get like John Boyega and they're like, noah,
we're just forgetting Marshall Ali and it's just gonna be Wesley Snipe's blade again.
I'm like, I guess that makes let me guess, is Wesley Snipe gonna
be in it? But this time he's gonna play Quinn or something or wow,
it's just gonna be something like that. Or he's gonna be Whistler something
like that. Yeah uh yeah, so he uh decides to take her in
even though he probably shouldn't. And speaking of Whistler, we meet him like
by Chris Chrisofferson so good. Uh and he's just like Takings now, he's
basically his cue. He makes them all his weapons and whatnot. Yeah,
I kill vampires or Kenny Rogers over here, I don't know. Uh.
And he was also in the two thousand and one Planet of the Apes your
favorite movie. Oh so good. He gives her like an injection of garlic
to stay off the infection hopefully. Is that how you're Italian? Is that
how garlic works? Yes? Okay, personally that's why Italy has the least
amount of vampires. I didn't know that. Yes, okay, they can't
even walk around because so many pizza places are making stuff with garlic and like
mama me. Yeah, Dracula stopped by once and he was like, never
again. Too much garb. I'm taking my ass to Spain. Yeah,
we see the Vampire Council, which I was talking about. They're pissed at
Deacon Frost. Uh. Deacon Frost doesn't want to hide from humans anymore.
He thinks he should be ruling them. They don't like that because there's cool,
awesome sex. Techno parties aren't fun enough for him. They're mad at
him because he's not He's on the council, but he's not a pure blood.
Apparently you could be born a vampire. Yeah, they they anakin him.
Yes, you could be on the countable. You're not a Jedi like
they think to him. You know who else is on the council, which
I never noticed until now. Gerald Akamora really famous martial artist who who was
in the very end of the original wordal Combat, which comes back later in
this. But he was also in you know the film Everyone Loves Samurai Coup,
such a good movie. Yes, he was pretty good in that movie,
great, great in it. Yeah, he was great. He was
great. But I like Gerald Akamura in most things that he's in. So
yeah, and Udo kir is the main guy, and I like Udokre.
He's always he always plays a creepy, weird guy. I think a few
years after this, he was in that movie End of Days where he was
like leading the satanical the Schwarzenegger movie. He gets punched in the face by
what the satan He puts a hole in his face. Udo care is just
a great actor. He's in so many classic horror films, Like I seen
him in a you know, the original Suspiria. He's great in a movie
called Mark of the Devil. That's a pretty good one about like it's a
movie about witches and like the sixteen hundreds, but it's more about like how
the witch hunters were all assholes and they were just they were just doing it
to like get people's money and stuff and whatnot. They're like, hey,
there were the original grifters. Yes, they were like, hey, you
should leave all your money to the church. And the guy's like what no,
it's like, oh, well you're a witch. Bye. Uh.
So the movie's about that Blade gets a serum from a friend of his.
We're never explained who this friend is, why the friend makes a serum,
or how it even works. Can we can we bring up how it works?
Like yeah, we don't know how it works. We just know,
oh, it staves off the hunger or whatever. And you're like okay,
but yeah, but why and yes, how that's the thing. Blade none
of the vampire's weaknesses, all of their strengths. However, he still has
the blood lust. He doesn't need the blood, he just has the lust.
He wants it. Yes, yes, yeah, because there's a couple
of scenes where he sees the blood and it gets them like and he even
says the guy. He's like, hey, it's not working as well,
and the guy's like, yeah, I thought that would happen. Anyway,
here you go. Anyway, here's your serum, and you're like, are
you looking into new ways to make it better? No? Good luck.
Karen like survives and she's poking around blades room for a bit with her arm
not being in paint at all, not being in painted all. Well,
pop back in. Yeah that's how that works. Roy. There's no inflammation
or tearing. No, no, not at all, not at all.
I mean I've never had that happen, but I assume that must be in
the serum or something. Blade lie yes on his taxes. Wesley snipes bite
not Blade. Hey, there's your clip for Twitter to make it relatable.
Wrestling guy like Terry Billia said racist stuff, not whole coked. Not whole
coked. No no, no no who Ken have also did to though both
of them not at whole. Cogan wasn't as racist, Yes that is Yeah,
I've seen Hogan knows best anyway. So yeah, she's poking around his
room and she sees his sword and we get the setup for the sword shoots
bleeds out of How bad ass is that? That's cool? That's bad ass.
That reminds me of the Judge dread COM's how the lawgivers are all like
ragged to blow up your hand, blow up your hand, not like the
Stallone movie where it just gives you like an electric shock. No, no,
they don't punish you there. They just punish you by teaming up with
Rob Schneider for an entire film. Thank god, this movie didn't do any
of that bullshit. You know what. You know what, that's a really
good point. You brought that up. There wasn't a goofy sidekick. Yeah,
you know it said. There were moments of levity, don't get me
wrong, but there wasn't like someone's like, oh man, I guess you're
having a bad day or something that. They instead gave him the stoic,
the stoic like father figure kind of character. Yeah. Steele tried to do
that too. They gave him that old guy. Yeah, yeah, remember
Steele. Yes, of course. I was so confused in that movie when
I saw it, because I had like Steel comics, and I remember being
like, where's the Superman back? How do you make a Steel movie without
why he actually became Steel? It makes no sense and you need Superman in
it? Or what's the point? I mean? Next, you're gonna say
they shouldn't make Venom movies without Spider Man, like ridiculous. You should have
made Vena movies period. I think the Vena movies are fine and fun.
Of course, you do Morvius. However, I haven't seen it that bad.
Yeah, can Blade kill him in this too? There's the crossover,
let's do it. Yeah, so I like that set up with the Sword.
That's really cool because you know it's gonna come back later and you're like
getting ready for it. Whistler thinks they should keep her around because she's a
blood doctor. It's like she can help you with her serum. Also,
Whistler likes to smoke cigarettes next to gasoline as he's pumping his car full of
gasoline and spilling the gasoline everywhere. He's having the gasoline fight from uh from
Zuelander. But okay, we did look clear, So I don't know if
there was a thing where it's like this the Blade mobile run on water or
something, because he's such it's ethanol, it runs its corn ethanol, it
runs on so yeah, so it's okay, So this is great. So,
uh, keep her ramage to blood doctor. First off, I think
the Whistler wants for another reason. Let's say he's been in there for a
while, and also keep a ruggage to blood doctor. Okay, I get
that, But there's also the fact of Blade literally is only around one other
human for a long periods of time, and it's you. And if you
have someone he's gonna want to kill, it feels like you're tempting him,
right, You're like, oh, yeah, here, this is delicious,
delicious blood. You want any No, well it should be a thing like,
hey, we should keep her. I'm gonna put her in a secure
room where you can't eat her. They explain how he became Blade a little
later, right, yes, okay, Ia want to skip ahead of but
yes, he's telling her about the uh, the war that's going on between
like the vampires and whatnot. And he's like, yeah, I was on
team p War. Are we still doing that year? Is it? No?
Someone nineteen someone ruined the Oh I know, And it wasn't Blade.
It wasn't Blade. But Whistler goes like, yeah, me Blade and a
few others, referring to more vampire Hunters, so setting up for Blade Trinity.
The other Vampire Hunters think that they were setting up for Hannibal King and
some other characters in Too Matracula. I don't think they meant it to turn
into this. I don't think Patton Oswald was in their plan for the future
of the Blade series and the plane was was anyone's future plans to be honest
with, Well, he was in Eternals. That's like his fifth character.
What do you play this a voice or something. He was the voice of
the little troll guy who came out of Harry Styles at the end, we
get it, Patton here Nerd, can you stop Patten? You played a
group of like Quinn tuplets on Agents of Shield, Like they don't need you
anymore, bro, that's when I that's honestly, when I tapped out of
Agent Shild, I'm like, I'm diving watched last few seasons either. Honestly,
after I keep saying this, after endgame, they stop being a priority,
Like I'll watch them. I'll watch them eventually, But unless it's a
character I really like, like the War Spider Man, I'm not going out
on my way to watch it. No, I mean either, I'm not
listen again this is It's the same thing like back in the day you could
make a Blade where a character that nobody knew because the market wasn't saturated,
and you give it a chance. But honestly, between the between the TV
shows because now you have all the TV shows, but between the TV shows
and between all the movies it's like I don't I don't care about the new
Miss Marvel girl or whatever her name is, or I don't have time for
that. But I think that's one of the down and why when you when
you watch Blade, you kind of forget how wow, this was fun,
Like this was a movie about Blade, and it wasn't like half of the
half of the movie wasn't setting up. Wasn't just a setup for your next
four movies. It was like, oh, not that it didn't make sequels,
but when they made the first Plade, they weren't even expecting to new
sequels, Like we're gonna make a Blade movie hopefully as well, and now
it's setting up the Avengers every movie or the like Modern Marvel was like for
a while, they were pretty good at like leaving the setup at like the
end, like at the post credits or like sprinkled here and there, but
like like Phase two or three, they just got more and more blatant.
And I did that video recently on Doctor Stranger. I'm like, is this
a commercial or a movie? That's that's but a lot of them are commercial.
They need to like go back and like like the Yeah, they need
to go back and like, hey, we can still set up other movies,
but can we tell a story first? And yeah the end, there's
nothing wrong with like going back to this perfect example how they set up all
the other vampire hunters. Yeah, it wasn't a whole subplot. It was
just a line. I'm not even against giving me a line like oh what's
that? What are they talking about? Instead of like force fiting like oh,
there he is over there. There is Nick Fury. Hi, Nick
Fury, who at this time would have been played by David Hasselhoff. Hi,
David Hasselhoff Nick Fury best Nick Fury period. I'll fight you on it.
He fought vampire in that movie. Yeah, oh I thought that movie
was so bad. But yeah, udo Kira is pissed at Deacon because he's
trying to transcrit So the vampires are kind of idiots and they didn't like keep
like a history. They have all their history backed up, but I guess
no one studied it because he's too busy with the raves. Yeah, he's
like, you're trying to translate the vampire Bible, stupid, no one can
decipher that language. And someone goes, it's just in Spanish. I can
you guys even trying? It's like, wait a minute, what you didn't
like think to like translate it over the years, you idiots. I was
too busy brooding in my castle. Yeah. I guess they didn't have time.
I guess. So. So he's using a computer program. I mean,
how long did it take Gary Omens tracking digger? Where's that outfit in
the hair? Hours? By the way, the computer thing is working because
you see it working. Yeah, all the care had to be like,
oh it worked, Hey, thanks Deacon. We can finally learn what this
is about. And there's no one respects Deacon Fross No, because he's not
a pure blood. The vampires don't. So this is vampires don't respect pure
bloods. Yeah, why do they keep making more, you know, not
pure blood ones? Like it's counterproductive? Right, Like, okay, you
hate them, but that's literally your job. That's well you do. So
I did go on like I don't know a blade wiki. I don't know
how accurate it is, but apparently like there's two ways to make a pure
blood. I don't know how accurate this is, but it's like the vampires
can conceive naturally, but apparently it doesn't always work. So the other way
is for two turned vampires to hook up and make a pure But that's not
a pure blood then, no, it's if you're born a vampire, you're
pure blood. It doesn't matter who your parents were, as long as you
were born a vampire. So two not pure bloods can make it pure blood.
Yes, okay, two pure bloods can mate, but apparently it just
doesn't work well. Like, it's very very rare, that's what I Who
knows if that bullshit. It's probably like they're necrotic genitals or something else.
But you know what it's it's it's vague enough that we can have a conversation
and have fun figure into out point. Yeah. Yeah, it's not spelled
out for us. It's given us just enough. I'm like, huh,
oh, are you telling me he didn't have a machine in Tony Stark's apartment
that could just create every cure all of the sudden, for no reason.
It does not have that. Wow, that would have been a lot easier.
Why didn't you get that Tony Stark machine he solved Stark fabricare. Yeah.
Yeah, in the previous movie, I thought it was just for making
suits. The next movie is like it can make anything. I'm like,
all right, well that's so it's literally another mcguffin machine. Yeah, okay,
I guess. So there's vampire helpers like Blade. For first off,
Blade almost runs over a bunch of citizens. Yeah no, he doesn't care.
Yeah, he lets her out and he's like, be careful, and
he's like, but it's daytime. And then she sees people with tattoos on
their back that are vampire helpers familiars. Yes, we're a scarf. Yeah.
By the way, get the tattoo in a place people can't see it.
Yeah. Why are there only back in? Then? Why are you
advertising when they do that in the next movie? Yeah that's true. But
yeah. So she gets into her apartment and then a cop shows up and
he's like, oh, I'm just a friendly police officer that likes to barge
into black people's apartments. Trust me. It's like I wouldn't. I wouldn't
trust that at all. You have a warrant shirt, Ye, warrant?
Where is the knock? What the fuck is going on? But he's like
asking if she's okay. He's like, does anyone know? Yeah? I
was fine until the cop broke into my house. Yeah, and then he's
just like, Okay, well you're dead. He's about to shoot her,
but I like that, why set it up? Kill her? Then?
Yeah, but Blade shows up to save her, but his version of saving
her is also to destroy all her her property. Like he's constantly throwing him
into the table, and at one point she goes, is that necessary?
Is all that necessary? It's like Man of Steel, Yes, only he's
breaking furniture. Yeah, he's not that entire city. He's not throwing bad
guys into a populated gas station. Sorry, I'm Superman. I don't kill
people. Remember when he the six Skryptonians were around his mother, So then
he grabs Od and flew him away and left his mom with the five other
Just ridiculous. People still have my comment section trying to defend that movie.
And I will never defend that movie. And I like carri Gerveil. By
the way, Yeah, I'm a fan of his. I most of the
actors in those series were just handed bat scirt. Yes. Yeah, anyway,
so yeah, he used Karen as a lore for the familiar. He
finds out he was delivering blood Blade. He went to the Tony Montana School
of Dealing with people. He's first off, he's walking around with a ninja
sword and he's just brandishing a gun. He's about to shoot a cop in
broad daylight in front of everyone. It's like, Blade, could you use
a little bit more discretion? Well do you know? The thing with Blade
isn't when you want? And it gets worse us as the movie's going on,
Like you're like, unlike other heroes where it's like, oh, this
guy wants to save the innocent, Blake just does what he does because he
fucking hates vampires. Yeah, Like it's not like your typical like, oh,
I'm gonna go save humanity. They're killing people. He's just like,
I just fucking hate vampires. Yeah, he's more about killing vampires right like
that. He it's not about like you said, because how many people do
he almost kill? He doesn't care about civilians, Like he's just shooting bullets
in the crowds. And you know what, this is a war at vampires,
and you're never gonna win this war by killing what you hate. It's
about protecting what you love. I hate you. I wish I had a
silver Samurai swared. Right now we have to just sort of course one of
them was a knockoff from Highlander. I'm surprised. I remember that quote that
was from Lash Jedi. Yeah, I know, Oh, I know where
it's from. You know what his name was, Blade Palpatine, A Blade
Palpatine. Just hearing the name Palpatine, it's like emperors call him emperor.
Fuck anyway, So they're chasing the cop later on because the cop is stupid
and comes back for his car and he's driving around. This is a bizarre,
overly edited scene where the camera's cranked and everything's moving in fast motion.
There is one cool shot where he drives past those a vampire just eating a
girl, but then it will cut to like Wesley Snipes on an obvious blue
screen. It's a weird scene. Well, they helped the fast cut.
If they've cut it fast enough, you won't notice. But again that that
fat, that fast cut stuff is very all the movies in that time frame.
It was very like, you know, quick fucking gosh karate and you're
like, all right, I thought it was gonna be like a transition to
another scene, but it goes on for a while and then the cuts of
the awkward green screen. It's just so bizarre. But yeah, so he's,
uh, he's stuck in the club and he's explaining to her the vampires
and he's like, yeah, the doorman of this the this man. I'm
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you love this movie. But he
refers to a strong independent sex worker as a w word. No, mpre
sows the doorman and the hole in the corner. So I'm sorry, Roy's
canceled Blade. I apologize. Well, they already did literally some of the
prison. Yeah, and then they gave him a TV show and they canceled
the Yeah, they canceled this show. Yeah, we'll talk about sticky fingers
later. Blade. Do you think Marshall Ali is gonna be throwing out anti
sex worker? I'm going to say that number one. I'm a little little
worried. I'm always worried whenever they whenever they grab stuff, because is it
going to be you know, it's gonna be body positive Blade? What Blade
are we getting? What are we getting here? What we are we going
to get it? You know what I'm worried about. This is a great
example of the difference in movies then in today with this Blade, with this
Blade movie, he was a badass black vampire hunter, right, but it
was never about alswamp black. I'm really worried. But the new Blade is
going to be a you know, an anagram for for a metaphor for you
know, a police violence or something. Frost had a plantation in the eighteen
hundreds or something. Don't put that out in the universe, sorry, because
what you just said, think about it. Does that not sound exactly like
something that they would do? Yes, so, yeah, he shamed sex
workers and Marshal Aley. I want them to do this exact scene where he's
like, the doorman's a vampire, and so is that strong independent woman there
who I respect with every fiber am I being, even though I'm gonna kill
her because she's a vampire. So the doorman asked Blade if he has an
invitation? Here's what I want to know. How does every fucking vampire just
not know who Blade is? At this point? Just a description. You
don't even need a picture that took a point you'd be like, oh,
yeah, the guy with the leather jacket, the black of leather jacket.
They always have swords and guns out like all the time. Yes's Blade,
you know the guy. You'll see him. He's the only guy who's dressed
unlike any other person who's around him. He kind of sticks out. Uh
that guy. Did he have a sword? Yes, that's blade. You
know he's coming into here. Was he wearing sunglasses at night? Yeah?
It's like yeah, well, bus, we all wear sunglasses at night.
It's like, yeah, but did he have a sword while doing that?
Like, ah, you're right, that's how you know it's blade. Like
like a sketch. They should have a sketch and be like, do not
let this person in the club. It's blade. Run for your life.
It's rendering him. You know, it's funny if there was an artist rendering,
but it's the it's the seventies blade red green. I'm like, oh
man, he's not wearing green pants. All guys. Apparently, according to
this, we shouldn't let don cheatle in here. I guess that's what it
looks like. It looks like Don cheatle in a red suit. Please don't
let him in here? Thank you? Sorry, sorry. And then the
next movie they're replace him with Terren towards he gets revenge. So he gets
revenge. Yeah maybe next time, nobody, no, no, sir?
Uh? Yeah. So the Vampire Club has schoolgirls. Singing. Now,
this is supposed to be problematic and maybe imply that they're acuties fans, but
what no, but they could be a thousand years old. But yeah,
that's the thing, Royce. It's not weird because they're not actually teenage girls.
They're a thousand year old vampires, and therefore it's not weird to have
fan art of them or anything. No, no, no, there a
thousand year old vampires and it's not weird. Even though the actresses were probably
sixteen. It's not weird though, guys. No, Deacon's apartment's awesome.
It's got like fucking blast stores to keep the sun out. And then his
bed is it a big metal sarcophagus that seals so he can sleep during the
day, And like that's fucking cool. And we see there's a lady in
his bad but we won't get a good look at who it is. Yeah,
all these blastors and all this stuff, and by the throwing, they
just go, what if we just like cover ourselves and they could just go
out by the foot They do it in this one. They do the sunblock
in this one. Oh no, no, I'm sorry, I was referring
to the uh the suit. Remember the third one when they when they invaded
the headquarters and they have like the full body like night vision glass. That's
the second one or second one, second, second one confused two and three
yea, yeah, yeah, because they know he has like the solar powers.
Blade two is good, but the CGI doubles are real jarring in that.
That was like the height of CGI because they got cocky at that point
instead of doing practical effects like we'll just see you everything, even though it
looks terrible. Yeah, that was in the Daredevil Catwoman era of CGI.
It's like, hey, like, I know Spider Man does it, but
it's a little bit more believable in that series anyway. Also Ben Affleck being
Daredevil, that's not believable. Oh god, he's able to translate the text
finally from the Evil Bible. Uh. And there's a little girl at the
party watching Mortal Kombat because that was also released by New Line and Warner Brothers.
Oh speak about dated a Marvel character released by Warner Brothers in Newline Entertainment.
Would never wow? Right? Ever happened these days? Yeah? Three
of them? Actually, yes, and possibly the TV show was related.
I don't know. Yeah, that's funny because like Warner Brothers eventually bought all
of DC and whatnot, and then Disney bought all of Marvel. They didn't
get all the film rights back. But yeah, that's kind of like a
weird thing. It's like, oh, yeah, we will never see a
Marvel released Warner Brothers movie ever again until Disney buys Warner Brothers. Oh yeah,
god it's coming. I hope not just buying too much, man,
don't too many. They literally own everything. Yeah, yeah, but yeah
Deacon, he ends up killing is familiar and he has a disappointing makeout session
with vampire he he did Tony Montana's friends move. He went, told you,
Razor Blade works with vampire chicks. You guys don't like me. They're
not I own to stressed. They're not even making up. They're just sticking
their tongues out and like slapping them together. First off, I'm gonna tell
you right now, don't kink shame. You're right, okay, don't kick
shame. Everyone has your own thing. I almost was this problematic blade.
You don't want to be problematic, but more like the Marshal Alila. That's
right, that's right. You want to be the good Blade. The one
that respects sex workers. Yes, what if it's the same, it's the
only difference, the only shot. How about a shot for shot youMake with
him, But the only difference is that respect sex workers. That's it.
Oh but you would also have to change this scene whether he meets Pearl the
vampire archive is so I guess it's just being fed blood the chunkers. Yes,
yeah, but today they wouldn't make fun of him. Uh, they
would just be like, that looks like a totally healthy person and even though
they're an evil vampire, we shouldn't put their weight against them. And it's
totally normal. God, I miss old body horror stuff. Yeah, it's
so weird because the name is Pearl and it sounds like a woman and it
clearly has like booth, but they keep calling it him. Yeah, I
excuse me, please, sir, don't assume things that you don't. Right,
And this was ahead of its time, okay, because it knew the
audience would assume I kind of like him. But he's just like, uh,
hey, so what's this? Like? Oh what, that's nothing,
don't worry about And they hit up with the UV like it's like, oh
what I meant to say? Was, which is weird. So the UV
like it's inconsistent and it's use. Sometimes one shot will completely burn an entire
vampire, but then sometimes it just burns you a little bit. Depending on
how they need the UV. Do they have different settings for it? I
don't know, are they you know? You know what I'm saying that there's
certain scenes where he's fighting, he kills the vampire immediately, but if you
just hold it for a little bit, it hurts. It's it's kind of
not like you were saying with the swords, like some vampires are stronger than
the man. Well, I assume they have a lot of blood in them,
so is that like keeping them alive? Do you do you think that
that determines their that that's a good point. Do you think that determines how
strong they are with how much blood they have? How much blood? Probably
how old they are, because I talked about that in like Queen of the
Damned, like the Anne Rice books is like how old you are is like
how strong you are? So like in Queen of the dam the Aliyah character
was able to like if she goes in the sun, she gets like a
tan so hot. Though, but like all the other vampires under her,
Like the older ones they get hardly burned, and then the younger ones are
just killed because they're all connected. I would let I would have let that
Aliah kill me. Just don't bring jar Rule. Shot for shot remake of
Plade, but with jar Rule it's murder. He walks in and he's like
right to their chest because he's so short. A little baby blades here.
But if they can't get a cameo from Wesley Snipes, and they get a
cameo from Sticky Fingers in the new movie, Wesley Snipe saw so much money,
he's probably on cameo. Did you know he's been of Sticky Fingers.
I don't know. Yeah, he did the Blade show and he disappeared.
Oh, I don't know anyway, what happened? A method man, he
was in the wire and he stopped acting too, that's true. Uh so,
Yeah, they're looking at the plans for the Blood God to summon the
Blood God and bring it back. There's some ritual they have to do,
and they're looking at the Vampire archives. They get into a fight with the
Mortal Vampire Wikipedia. Yes, they get into a fight with the Mortal Kombat
Girl. The girl was watching Mortal Kombat. She pretends to be a sad
little girl, but she's not a little girl. She's a thousand year old
vampire and she's good at fighting because she watched the Mortal Kombat movie. If
those those of you guys who don't know, there's people on the internet that
like certain types of pictures, and when they get caught out for being weird,
they go, no, no, it's not weird. They're a thousand
year old when you know vampires, it's perfectly fine. And they always instead
of just going, you know what, I'm kind of a fucking weird I'm
a weird guy, they always just go like, yeah, it's not weird.
I'm like, well, it's a little weird. So they get into
like a big fight. They have blade corner. They're staking him. Quinn
is showing off his new hand. I like the one guy. He's like,
I got his pig sticker and then his hand like explodes, got his
sticker, Like that blade? Shoot, it's only three blades. What's that
dude? That that actor he's the guy whose hand explodes. He's uh,
he had a TV show for a while too, the guy whose hand explodes.
I'm not talking about Quinn Donald Lowe. Oh, sorry, you're right.
Sorry, wait, but doesn't Donald Logue had his hand cut off early.
That's why. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I confuse what
you're saying. He's about to get another handg Between that, there's another guy
who picks up a so understanding. Understand y, Yeah, Donald Logue is
on a ground for life. Ground for That was a great show, by
the way, great show. I really liked that, even kidding, but
I actually liked it. I don't know, Yeah, it was an awesome
show. Uh. And he's a good actor. He's in a lot of
shit. He was. He was one of the best parts of the new
Resident Evil movie. He's the shitty police guy. I haven't seen that Resident
movie. It's fine and fun. As we say, okay, people were
like, why do you like this movie. I'm like, look, we
were just basing it off of like the standards that Resident Evil movies up set.
Yeah, they're making it seem like the original Resident EVAs were high art.
Yeah, it's I'm like, when you watch the six Resident Evil movies
and then you watch this, you're like, this one's fine and fun.
If I had never seen those movies, and I went in blind to the
Resident Evil. I'd be like, oh, this sucks. But I'm like,
all right, well pair to the other ship. And a lot of
people go, oh, you don't respect a strong independent woman. I'll have
you know Mila loo Jovia, which is flat chested, and she was still
great in that movie. No, she wasn't in the sixth one because she
had a kid right before shooting. No, I meant the first one.
I mean the originally. Yeah, no, we joked about that because in
Resident Evil, so Resident Evil five and six they're a day apart, but
she had it there. She had like a kid in between, so like,
oh, I guess in one day her cup size went up like two
sizes. Maybe that's part of the the T virus. That's right, she
was injected with the That's that's what it does. I like Neil Jovich.
Go back and watch our Fifth Element review. It's a great movie movie.
So yeah, Whistler comes and saves them. He like blows a hole into
the vampire volt. I just wish he'd whistle more. He doesn't whistle a
lot. He Damn Whistler, you know what, I'm surprising didn't do like
a van Helsing or something like that, something stupid like that, like I'm
Jim van Helsing and we're like, nah, you're just some new guy Whistler,
Bob van Helsing. I think the tune it was voiced by David Warner,
the British guy. Really yeah, okay, yeah, so he uh
he saves them by blowing a hole in the thing they get into like a
big, big fight. Whistler escapes. They're in the subway. Blade beats
Spider Man I think ten years before Spider Man three by shoving a bad guy's
face into a train. Nice because he does that to a log and then
in Spider Man three he doesn't the same man. Yeah, so they eventually
get away. Uh, Whistler he like loses another or no, Quinn loses
another arm. He's like, fucking, I'm out of here. He runs.
That was so funny, man, The ongoing like with him losing was
so funny. Yeah. I mean like growing them back, yeah yeah,
skin coming back slowly. I do find that funny that in the Blade universe,
you vampires can grow their limbs back like lizards. Yeah, because they
don't do that in every in every vampire, not everyone. Yeah, yeah,
then this is where Whistler gives the backstory where like Blade's mom was in
while she was pregnant, and then like in childbirth, she died while he
was taken away. Why would that make you av It still doesn't make any
sense. Why would that be the reason that he has to Like, I
mean, I get that that happened, but I guess because it was turning
her and the blood went into him. Okay, but it had its fine,
but either you're a vampire or not. It's just just we're like,
oh, yeah, you're you get all the good stuff, but none of
the bad stuff because mom died. I'm like, all right, I don't
know. He's a day walker, leave alone. He sure is. There's
a lot of us fighting at night though for a day walker. Yes,
well that's when they're out at night. Yeah, realistically he shouldn't it be
easier in the day they're sleeping, Go kill them. That's what they do
in I know, the Will Smith movie, but I'm talking about just the
story in general. I am imagine, Yeah, he goes around during the
day. I didn't really hate that movie as much other people did. I
know it wasn't like the book, but the original ending was better, yes,
because it was like kind of like close up to the book. It's
still that movie still had issues. Yeah. Yeah. So Karen learns about
his bloodlust and and knows that his seren isn't working, so she's coming up
with a plan to fix it. Meanwhile, Deacon puts on sunblock with his
vampire friends and he pulls Udo Kir out to the beach and he's like,
oh, you ever appreciate a good sunset. He's like, oh, but
you're a pure blood. You've never seen a sunset. And basically he's like,
Hey, I'm getting rid of the old guard. I'm bringing La Magra
back the blood god. So yeah, I like they put the sun lotion
on when the sun comes out, they put the motorcycle helmets on. So
I guess in theory vampires can walk around in the day. Yeah, they
just have to be very careful. And you just can't yell the Magra because
then all the Mexican vampires run away because they think it's something else. By
the way, you don't need to cut that. I'm allowed to say that
I'm Hispanic. Yes, I'm Latin X. Yeah, he's a LATINX man.
Thank you. I really want to make an X men common laxt one
will be great. I'd watch it. Or she's like, I'm a Latin
X man. It's like cool, what's your power? He's like, no,
no, no, no, I'm not with the X Men. I'm
a Latin X man. What's your power? Oppression? But anyway, mostly
I said that in an episode. I'm like because I was like as an
Italian X man and my friend didn't get he's like an X man. I'm
like, no, no, not like that Udo Cure's body melting effect.
Yeah, and some of it's cool, but like they they thought it was
cooler than it was. So the lingering on it, it's like I could
tell your blue screen and not color corrected. There were transhent Indiana Jones thing
arc opening melt things, what they were doing there. Yeah, yeah,
I mean I still think it looks cool. It's just not Yeah, I
mean I don't I I forgive that stuff, like like now of that,
like what are you doing? Well now it'd be like, hey, you
know what, that's quaint. I actually missed that. But back then it
was like you need to make his body molt. That's gonna cost three million
dollars to the budget, Like now you're like, I'll just do it in
my office in ten minutes. So Karen, while trying to make a seerum,
she makes a exploding vampire juice that you can put into blood of a
vampire and it coagulates it and makes him explode. Man, that's going to
pay off later on, don't you think? I think that might pay off
later on and then pay off differently the way it was intended. Because they
reshot the ending. I can't wait to tell you the end there. I
can't believe it. I do not know. So Karen is sad, well,
Blade is sad because Whistler has and then Karen's sad because she actually is
turning into a vampire. It happened slowly, they didn't catch it in time,
but she is starting to turn. So now she's like real serious about
finding a cure. Meanwhile, Blade is going to get his current serum while
it still works. And on the way he sees what you're called deacon in
the sunlight with a little girl. And how strong is that sunblock? Well
I always thought when that sunblock scene, it's like you could defeat him with
a super soaker. Yeah, just I feel like if you're gonna have something
where you can make the sun block for vampires being out, then okay,
then what's the point? Like, yeah, then then that takes to think
one of the one of the major key things from Vampires Away, and why
isn't every single vampire doing it right like people are doing They go to the
beach and eat people with your sunblock on? Who's gonna stop you? Yeah?
I feel like this might. I feel like this might have been added
later because they show in the previous scene like how much work they have to
do put the sunblock on, then the black clothes yeh, then the helmet,
and it's he's in the daylight. It's not like it's an overcast day.
And come up with that excuse. I think maybe they had a scene
where he went visited his friend again and I guess that wasn't exciting. I
guess they wanted him to meet Deacon Frost a little earlier. Right, So
this feels like it was added, but it doesn't really jive with the rest
that we saw. But yeah, he's basically like, come on, day
Walker, join us. He's doing that scene. Yeah, you're typical,
like, oh, together, we can blah blah, blh. Yeah,
it's your typical because he needs Blade's blood to make Lamaghari needs the blood of
a day Walker to like wake him up. So I like that Blade realizes
a second he needs the blood of it, just something else. I don't
mean to fill the plot holes. But so he needed the blood of a
day walker, yeah, to make compact. But as we all know,
the Blade becoming a day Walker was a complete fluke, like with his mom
and all that. So they happened in the past, right right, right,
So, but it's a very specific thing you need. Yeah, you
know, it's a good thing. There's only one guy that hasn't. Yeah,
it's a long term plan. Yeah, it's very intricing. You gotta
wait until the guy's old enough to fit in the goddamn exactly. Hopefully they
don't let themselves go like Pearl Dater. Else you have to build figures.
It's been a thousand years, Do we have a new day Walker? Not
yet? All right, I'll wake me up in a thousand more. I'll
come back. I forgot that at the end of the scene. First of
all, they do like the matrix bullets. Yeah, I forgot. The
Deacon just picks up that little hot dog and throws her into the hot talk
guy. Yeah, but she like, HiT's the I was inspect her face
be like boiled and melting. And then she lands in front of a bus
and like Blade's got to save her from the bus. But at that point,
she already got thrown through a hot tal. She's dead already. Guys.
Yeah, I don't think they're gonna bring this up. I don't think
they're gonna do this part in the new one. But Deacon is upset that
Blade considers himself more of a human instead of a vampire. And he's straight
up I almost shit myself when I heard this. He straight up calls him
Uncle Tom. Come on, spam me the Uncle Tom routine, Okay,
And I'm like, Marvel is not that's ry. That's when bad guys were
allowed to say bad things. Yeah, And I'm like, I don't think
that's gonna come up with the Marshalls. And it wasn't another it wasn't like
another black vampire saying it. No, that's yeah. Wow, that's a
real good Yeah, I don't think that's gonna be that. I'm starting to
think Deacon Frost not a good guy. You think so? Yeah, you
picked that up. I think he might be the bad guy really. Oh
yeah, So Karen uses a gene therapy on herself, but the blade Layer
gets attacked. I don't know what to call that place called the eye,
uh, Whistler's Whistler's man cave. This scene is sad when Blade comes and
he realizes that something happened, and then he sees he knows Whistler's under the
sheet, but he can't look yet, and he just goes like this,
and the Whistler comes back to life and he's like, they took her.
You gotta stop him or he basically tells him not to go. Yeah,
he's like, they need your blood, fuck it, just leaver alone.
Yeah, but he can't do that, but he gives him his gun so
he can kill himself. And it's very very sad. And then you find
out that vampires took him and put him in a big blood vault so he
could come back in the second movie. Yeah. Yeah, it makes that
really emotional scene worthless because then you're like, oh, so he's just alive,
He's just he's fine, but he like comes back as a vamp,
a vampire. Well, there was something weird because he has a vampire,
but there was something I'm trying to remember that because it's been a while to
watch second with there's something weird about how why that he was a different kind
of and not like a Blade vampire but no different So spoiler the seerum ends
up working in this so I think he gives him the serum in the second
movie. But like, why did they turn him into a vampire after he
shot himself or was he already turning and he didn't know and then he shot
himself and then turned. Why do they put him in a big blood bowl?
I think they just wanted Chris Christopherson. They wanted like a blood Lazarus
pit for vampires. I guess stupid. Yeah, so that is an emotional
scene that kind of gets throwing the next one, but yeah, what's the
face? He leaves a tape He's like, hey, Blade, it's me.
You should come over hang out. So Blade goes to save Karen and
uh, he's all like he's just one guy on foot, take him out,
and like I love that part where it's his face. Quinn is like,
you don't understand. He's like really good with the sword and stuff,
and Decon's like oh yeah the sword blah blah blah fuck you. Yeah,
but then Blade shows up with the motorcycle and he's just taking all these fucking
guys out. To be fair, I agree with Deacon though, it's like
you should have been able to shoot the guy, like he doesn't have like
like another movie, like you know, another movie, but he does have
armor on. No, he does, but he doesn't have that like weird
super speed that some vampire movies make them have, you know what I mean,
where he is super quiet. There's that scene where he jumps down behind
her and he makes no sense. He is very quiet until he goes mother.
Now he uses the serum in the scene and he kills two vampires one
gets stabbed in these that did pay off from earlier, yes, but like
it's weird. So like the whole thing going forward is the vampires don't know
about it and they keep preferring to has the serum, but they weren't,
Like, oh hey did Jim and Steve die? Well that's weird, Like
I get we turned into dust, but why is there two pools of blood?
How do they turn into two pools of blood? You're right, the
vampires are stupid, Yeah, It's like, it's amazing to me they've been
around this long with how dumb they are. You know, usually when we
die, we turn to dust. What's this pool of bloodshed? Yeah?
Did bleed you something new that we're not aware of? Oh well, let
me take this serum bit. Yeah, let's take them. Let's take him
to the Big Temple. Let's go. Yeah. I thought that was pretty
funny. So they take him to the Big Temple. Oh no, No,
Before that, he goes into Deacon's apartment and he meets his mom,
Santah Leathan. Oh that's right, and she's yep from Alien versus Predator Santa
Lathan. Uh. She's like, oh my god, Eric Eric because I
think Blade's real name is Eric. It's Eric Blade, it's her Eric Blade
Brook. It's like the rock. We find out Frost is the one that
turned her because he's he's the one who made Blade and his mom's a kind
of a bitch. Yeah, this seems a little. This seems a little
Timber and Batman, It's like, I don't think it was important the Joker
killed Batman's parents. I don't think that was needed. I don't I don't
think that this scene at all with his mom. His mom is it's it's
real, no importance of it, because it's not like he developed a relationship
with her, Like she died when he was born, so it's not like
somebody like it's not like if if you know, you find out that Whistler
is the one that helped turn his mom like okay, that would have been
like, oh shit, really that's his friend. But then his mom's like,
oh no, I love him and you're your dick and come join us.
And I'm like, yeah, wait what Yeah, maybe the person who
wrote this had mommy issues. I don't know. David Gordon, David forgive
your mother, David, forgive your mother. Okay, maybe he'll find out
that his mom's name is al also Martha, and they they're like fond over
it, Martha, God damn it. Yeah. So the Blood God Temple
is awesome, looking very nice, very like it's like a nice big scent.
But I also think it's also part miniature and whatnot. It looks really
really nice and yeah, I love by the way, I guess this weird
Egyptian temple that he just happened to, he just happened to be next to
the city that they're in. Well that worked out perfectly. That worked out
pretty burfan maybe, like every major city has a blood temple next to it
for vampire maybe. But he says, he's like these dumb fucks for good,
it exists. It's like, goddamn, the vampires really do suck.
Why don't they? Right, they write this down so like translated, it
sucks if you're gonna live for like a thousand years but also have Alzheimer's the
entire and I'm like, what's the point, Like, you're right, there's
a lot of stuff you're like, oh, so you guys. The whole
point of like vampires that makes them so cool that Gary omanvam is a great
examples like, well, they've been around so long that they've learned a lot.
They're supposed to be intelligent. Yeah, they're supposed to be like,
oh I'm wiser than you, but these ones are just like doing vampire coke
at a techno party and I'm like, alright, what is this? Well
that's also the thing, like ann Rice vampires. The reason they take on
younger ones because they like, since they're not really participating in society, they
need younger people to like teach them what's going on? So what are people
into this year? Movies? Okayse rock videos, Now vampires just go here,
this is YouTube. Figure it out. And the vampires shoun out to
be really racist, and then they start doxing each other. Oh god,
the new Blade's gonna be terrible, Tony, I don't think Blade's like no,
And then after he does that, it's a new one, but it'll
be like pres ephon the chap with that motherfucker. Yeah, you know what,
I would not ironically love the chat. I might. I might see
if I write a script, I pres in the chat for that mother,
And you gotta look at the camera he does it. You know. I
hope when this premierees, your entire audience is typing from the chat. Right.
So, uh, they throw Karen into a pit with their ex boyfriend
and not get anything else just because her name's a Karen, Like, I'm
done with her throwing the pit. But they were like, yeah, so
you know, we bet your boyfriend. We thought we were he was gonna
turn, but he didn't quite turn. So I guess there's like a thing
that happens with vampires where they don't fully become a vampire and they become more
of like a walking dead zombie. Yeah, yes, scrat They're like the
opposite of the day Walker where they got all like all the bad shit.
Yeah yeah. So it's like he's like, yeah, they eat like women,
kids, animals, and he's like the even you know, the vampires.
So they toss her down there, and for some reason I remember there
being more down there, and then when I rewatched them like, oh,
it's just the one. Yeah, there's not one. I thinking of Yeah,
I don't know, but he looks he looks like a Robin Williams character,
and he sounds like Robin Williams doing a cartoony voice. God Patch Adams,
because he's like, for some reason, I'm like, I'm getting Robin
Williams vibe from it seems like like, you know, Missus Dalfirey's doing different
voices the whole time. It felt like that might have been one of those
scenes. Well, first off, I don't watch Missus daff because it's offensive
now, but it is. It is. I never watched it either.
I didn't even like when it first ran because it was so offensive. Yeah.
I was in the theater as a four year old, going now,
no, turn it off. They actually played it at my gym a few
months back because I have like a theater in my gym, look like a
lefticals. I'm just like, was pretty funny. The're probably not gonna replay
it. I'm surprised that gym is playing it, to be honest. Then
again, a lot of the people who complain about that shit are probably not
at the gym my gym was playing the other day. My gym was playing
League of Extraordinary Gentleman. I swear to you. Oh good, I swear,
And I was like, why this movie? Yeah, but she like
beats him up and she gets like a bone to crawl out. Wait,
so they just found that temple. How long has that guy been down once?
He been eating animals Magas and Ratchet. I guess they had him somewhere
else and they were just holding on to him. This feels like another added
scene, like, yeah, something for her to do, and they go,
let's bring that guy back and give her a little bit of an action
scene because it's it feels very disconnected. Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
And you know, if if only she had all those weapons, that blade
had to probably help her out down there. Yeah, like that cool sortsche
found earlier. Yes, yes, oh but yeah, they put Blade in
the sarcophagus and they begin draining him of all his blood. Oh, someone's
vacuuming up there. Oh sorry, sorry the video store. I have them
vacuum the roof of the video I thought Blade was fighting upstairs. You know
what, that's cooler. Yes, I have my local vampire hunter fighting vampires
upstairs. Just don't to pay no attention to the vacuum like sounds coming from
above. It'd be cool if in the New Blade. I already thought about
this in the New Blade, Like, so he kills somebody and then he
goes take that colonizer and then he looks at the camera and everyone claps.
All the vampires clap and they don't even fight. They go, you know
what, you made us change our way, thanks Blade. Oh my god,
No, they are gonna do that. No, because remember Captain Marvel,
they didn't let the scrolls be bad. Guys, you're roight. They're
gonna there's gonna be a group of good vampires. Yes, yeah, ah,
we work with humans. We want to live with humans because we think
they're cool. You're killing two, which is I am legend, Like you're
killing too many of the good vampires, not the Yeah, ironically, making
the Scrolls good guys was good for that movie because they were the only entertaining
thing in that film. Yeah, but then how do you pull off a
secret invasion storyline? Now? If the scrolls are good, I, I
guess they're the Kree. I don't know, they already did the creed.
Ah fucking who cares anyway, So Deacon he has the blood come down and
hit him in the head, and he like absorbs the souls of the other
vampire council and they so their skin melts, their skeletons come out, and
then other skeletons come out of the skeletons with bat wings, and I guess
that's their evil vampire spirits, right, not the best effect, uh,
but it's fine. And they go into him and he like I guess,
absorbs the essence of La Magra and becomes the but he's also still kind of
decon Frost. I really she got to the part of the blows coming down.
I really did like the little track. Yeah, that was so cool.
That was cool. That was one of those where I was like,
all right, you know what they really like because it was built into the
temple and like seeing his blood go down, I'm like, all right,
that's there in the elevator and they're going down the same time as the blood's
going Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, something else you would not.
You're not gonna have rivers of blood in the in the new How are you
gonna make a Blade movie now without any blood? I'm wondering, because they're
gonna be PG. Thirteen. Yeah. So yeah, he becomes Lamagro now
okay, oh yeah, we're all almost there. We're all almost there.
Blade kills his mom. He gets out of the Karen I think helps him
out, and he kills his mom with a bone. He like shoves a
bone through her, and that kills her. Why would that? That shouldn't
kill her. She's a vampire. No, it's not silver. Yeah,
so that wouldn't kill her. H Wait, did they ever establish if you
could kill him old schoolway with like a stake through the heart? I mean,
did they ever say you did? That wouldn't work? They never said
it wouldn't work. So maybe that is the thing you can do. It's
just just easier to use. Which, by the way, the silver thing
was something that was adapted later. Silver was a werewolf thing. It wasn't
really silver herding vampires wasn't always what a thing that they were weak to.
That was just like, oh, we can't make bullets out of steak,
sir, you know whatever. Did you ever watch any of the Howling movies?
No, the Howling too. It's very obviously a vampire script. They
turned into a were wolf script really, and it's like you can only kill
the werewolves by staking them with titanium. I'm like one hundred percent those were
like silver steaks at one point or whatever. But anyway, yeah, so
they kill her. He goes down, he's he like takes the blood from
Karen. She lets her take his blood and the strains are completely very sexual
scene by the way, Yes, uh, he comes down, he kills
Quinn. He has like silver wire, I guess it decapitates him. Dope
scene by the way, Yes, silver wire really like and then he grabs
his glasses back. Yeah, Quinn took his glass. Yeah, and at
around this time what's her face uses the vampire mace on vampire lady and her
head explodes. It's pretty funny. Now, La Magra. He decides to
fight him, using swords and whatnot and doing Vampire Karate the original ending of
this film. Okay, now I'm excited to hear this. It was never
completed. Like as they were editing and doing the pre visual pre visualizations for
the effects, they realized it was a bad idea. So you can watch
the deleted scene with the poor green screen and whatnot. He turned into a
blood tornado, and he would have had it would have been like how like
the nineties Mummy had his face in the sand, He would have had his
face in the blood. Got an idea, Yeah, blood tornado. Then
Karen goes to Blade, what is that and he finger, God, huh
like Twister? Like Twister anyway, so his face was gonna come out all
bloody, and like I said, they never finished the effects, so when
you watch it now, it's horrible CGI blood that's not finished and then poorly
green screen. Stephen Dortro like Blade, when I'm done, I'm gonna go
fuck over the human race hot jokes, And I think he would have thrown
the exploding thing and it would mix with the blood and cause. But I
guess they watched that and they're like, oh wow, we turned our bad
guy's actually charismatic and cool. We turn him into a blood Tornado. Yeah,
we're reshooting all of this. So they went back and you guys are
gonna have like a kung Fu scene. I guess it doesn't make sense because
he's a blood god. He could probably do a lot of cool stuff,
but blood Tornado wasn't working out. Also not cheap. Blood Tornado's not cgi
cheap, which is why that might be another thing. Like this looks bad.
That's why I wasn't finished. It wasn't finished. They're like, I
don't think there's anyway I'm not investing another back then three hundred thousand dollars something
we're not gonna use. But you can look up the deleted scenes. I'm
going to they're pretty funny working. So yeah, they have this awesome fights
and where nothing's working. He cuts them in half and the blood brings them
back together. And I love when Plade looks around, he just goes what
but he buffs it. Also, the Deacon Frost toy, it comes with
like a different head and like this bloody goo stuff. So I don't know
if they mean if they made the toy, I guarantee you they made that
the original ending in mind. Yep, yeah, I didn't see the toy
out of it. I looked up a picture of it, so I don't
know what it looks like out of the box, but I think it might
be one of the things where they like they had the early model early on.
So yeah, he's using he's using the silver. Nothing's working. Nothing's
working on the Blood God Royce. What will work? Oh oh oh,
oh, I know, I know equity. Oh no, that's the new
blade. He no, No, his his blood exploding juice, which I
I guess could kill the blood gun. Oh it paid off again and I
like that it's in a crack in the wall. Yeah, and he throws
his sword up there to like explode it. But yeah, even still he's
like, oh, your serum, Why do you want your serum? It's
like, dumb fucker. Have you met him being paying attention the entire time?
Blood God? Yeah, but yeah, he throws all of those needles
in him and he looks like a horrifying like why he looks like the blob.
He's all red and gross, and he does the famous line, some
motherfucker is always trying to ice skater Bill, which would have made sense if
they set up the joke in an earlier or not. The joke, the
one line in a certain way, but like, what does that even mean?
Like I've watched it many times. Of course that's one of the most
famous lines in the movie. But what what what was he doing that you're
equating to skating uphill? His plan was good, but he did work,
work worked. He didn't know about the blood exploding. Jeez, that was
new. Yeah, he knew it and it was just invented. It was
literally just event I'm giving Deacon a break on this one, because you're right,
it was just invented. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I mean
he honestly, Deacon did a pretty good job in this movie. Like,
you're right, he's two. K was very charismatic. Yeah, good villain,
you know, smarty really you know, really you really wanted to see
him get his come up and because he was such a dick. Yeah,
but but yeah, it's like, how would he have known that this Karen
literally just invented a bomb. Yeah, yeah, no idea a bomb that
can destroy blood and he just happened to turn into the blood god man.
That really lucked out. Imagine he turned like a fartu. Imagine being that
girl. It's like I just first off, I just found out there's more
than one god. Yeah, and that's a good boy. And like,
I think I killed the vampire guy. I killed a god and I wasn't
even trying. No that weird. I was trying to fix my friend and
I made a blood exploding juice. I didn't think of a we're all blood
god blood. It was a mistake. She made it trying to save somebody
in a mistake. She saved the day. So he explodes. He's dead.
Blade goes up into the sunset and he's just like, I can't take
your core yet. Work on another serum for me because the cure worked on
her. He's like, I need my powers because if he takes the cure,
he loses his powers. He's like, I need my powers to keep
fighting this war. Just help me make another serum. I gotta fight this
war. And then did you notice it just kind of awkwardly fades the black
Ye? Why was that? Because they turn around and Blade looks up at
a rooftop and there's a man on a rooftop with his head all wrapped up,
and she's like, who's that? And Blade says something like another problem
or something like that. And that was supposed to be Morbius because they were
setting up for Morbius in the scene. They didn't do it. They cut
it out, and then they did that other ending with him and Russia someone,
which I guess does lead into Blade two. Yeah, I guess they
wanted to do a Morbius thing and then they decided not to. But they
set it up and they they wrapped his head up. I don't know why,
so they would be cheaper, Yeah, because they didn't have to decide
on what he would look like. And everyone watched him. He was like,
is that Liam Neeson? What's he doing in this movie? But that
would have been like the natural way to go, and they didn't go with
it. Yeah, it was a little bizarre, but yeah, it ends
with him in Moscow about the Gill a vampire. Yeah. Actually, you
know, it's funny because the cartoon in this version of Blade was so popular.
They did the thing where they went back in the comics, so I
think Morbia because remember in the comics, he just had the immunity, Yeah,
the powers. I think they a year later in the comics they did
the thing where Morbius like bid him and infected him. So then he got
all the so he couldn't and then he started he had the black motorcycle thing,
but then he started dressing like Movie Blade because it was like, clearly
this is the more popular version. It's got to be like that. But
yeah, it's a good, solid film. It's fun, it's great action.
It's got some good harbits. I mean, honestly, outside of the
sea, the c G I and the kind of corny one noticeable, but
they don't. It's fine, and the corny one liners every once in a
while. It's it holds up. Really, it's fun. Extremely it's a
fun film. It's obviously not one jingle. Oh the writing is so deep,
but it's a fun action film. It's not it's how long. How
long is the movie? How many hours? It's like it's only an hour.
Yeah, but okay, that's my point. I was going to say.
It's like, it's not like this three hour shlock fest where you're like,
oh god, we need a backstory of every single person, and it's
like, yeah, we can get it. It's a vampire movie, whistler,
why are you doing this? I had a vampire killed my family and
he was a real asshole. Yeah, exactly, that's all. Got it
awesome, that's all I need. I don't need to see I don't need
to see a prequel him as a kid, you know, no, no,
no, yeah, yeah, And I think it's a good, good
time. And they did a sequel that was awesome. H then they really
topped it off, but going can it get better than two? Yes?
Yeah, Trinity Trinity, which, by the way, that's when like Blade
was like m I a for a while and then all of a sudden they
have all these vampires that don't have power, but we're still really effective.
Yes, they were like really effective. And then the Blade TV series starring
Sticky Fingers, which I think Moon Moonnight was originally going to debut in that
show and they ended up not doing it. Now Unit has his own show.
Yeah, the Sticky Fingers thing. When you get like a four pack
of Blade, Uh, they include like the first two episodes of the TV
show, like like a mini movie or whatever. I think it's on TV.
I kind of want to go back and check out. Do you know
what show I've been watching the nineties Cone of the Barbarian show. Never seen
his live action one. Yeah, well good, I mean good for Danny
Woodburns in it. Mickey from Seinfeld and I posted about it and Mickey liked
my Oh really the star of the show. He's coded sidekick, but since
he doesn't have to do a bad Arnold accent, he's like the star of
the show. Of course. Yeah. So now I want to go back
and watch the Blade TV show and see if I missed anything. Is it
rated? Gem? How many they had one season? Right? I believe
it at one season and according to some I mean some people didn't like it,
but apparently not. Maybe they're just not sticky fingers fans. Yes,
that could be it. I think the reason they canceled it, they said,
is because Spike TV was still a new channel and it was just expensive
to produce. So it's like they canceled the Spike TV and it wasn't Bar
Rescue. It's probably been before. Bar wasn't a Bar Rescue out. I
don't know that that was anything. Was that was the only thing that made
the transition from Spike TV to Paramount when it changed to Paramount TV. Is
that what happened to Spike TV? Bar? Yeah? So Spike TV when
when when everyone decided, like, hey, is they're gonna need to have
an entire channel where guys are just fucking douches all day, like not really.
Well, they also played, uh, I believe Baywatch an American glad
he to rerun Baywatch American Gladiators. Uh yeah, and then then after that
left, they had TNA for a while, right, because that's what that's
what replaced it when they went back to to uh the film at Universal Studio.
Yah, they did. By my house man, I went to a
TNA taping and it was awesome. Free. It was free if you were
in Universal Studios. They filmed three episodes and something crazy was always happening.
Well, aw darks in that same place now, oh really, that same
exact place where they film it. Yeah, that's funny. Who's watching a
w Dart Nobody? I mean I've seen the numbers. Nobody, but more,
more, more people, more people watching the TV series, the Blade
TV series at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Blade two is a solid
film. M Germal del Toro. I would like to revisit that. It's
been a while since I watched Blade. I didn't see Blade Trinity till like
years later, Like I saw Blade two in theaters because I love Blade one,
and then I remember seeing the trailers from Blade three and I'm like,
this doesn't look good. No, look, look joking aside, obviously the
movie is the I mean, it's not great, but I will there were
some things in it that were cool. I did. I did kind of
like the idea of the alliance of the non vampire people working together. The
dog, the the the the hell Hounds, the Rebert, the Reaver dog.
Yeah. So they killed all the Reapers because they were such a big
problem, and then just for fun, they made Reaper dogs, Like wasn't
this a problem? Yeah? Yeah, but remember Triple h was walking on
with the little the little, the little dog. He had gold fangs.
Yeah, and that really that really rocket launched Triple Ah's career. And Dominic
Purcell was Dracula and what we're not doing train I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
I will say Parker Posy was good in it, and Ryan Reynolds Parcopos
is gooten in a lot of things. I'm a big, actually a big
fan of Parker Posy. Dude, I I really like the New Loss in
Space. Yeah, I mean, talk about changing a character, making the
doctor Smith like a woman and whatnot. It works so well and it works
so much better. Yep. And it was like I did that in my
episode. I did reboots that don't suck, and I'm just like, yeah,
the nuance's basis, like no one ever talks about it. It's actually
really it's actually yeah, it's good. And they gave it an ending.
They knew it wasn't gonna get a fourth season, and it got and I
was like, oh. When I watched that third season, I was like,
oh, thank god, it's opening. It's done. Done. You
have to do with a cliffhanger no more? Then, like, well,
they do all the time for like five years ago. There's gonna be a
movie. There's been talks for movies for five years and the movie never comes
out. Dude. I So people are like, you still haven't watched Invincible,
you still haven't watched The Boys, And I'm like, no, I'm
mad at Amazon for canceling the fucking tick on a goddamn cliffhanger. I really
like the tick. That's a tick. It was really good. It was
so good, and it was fucking cliffhanger, and the cliffhanger was so good
again, finish it off with them. Well, that's what they did with
the venture brothers. Yeah, Serenity. They got to finish Firefly off with
Serenity poorly, but yeah, sure, and I'm a baby was good.
I'm a huge firefight flan by the way, on someone who's like a nerd
when it comes with it? Uh? I have you know? Adam Baldwin
follows me on Twitter? Oh but wait waite Adam Baldwin the guy who helped
create Gabergate Royce. What did I tell you last episode? Yeah? Blocking,
okay, what there is? I'll just follow Alec Baldwin instead. He's
excepting. He's the excelent. Baldwin's a good guy. He's never heard of
Alick Baldwin has never hurt anybody in his life ever. Oh my god.
When we did Beetlejuice, I made it look like he called into the store
and I played like the boy smail of him yelling at his dollar. That's
one of my favorite voels. And I said in the video, I'm like,
man, you don't really you don't want to piss off Alec Balden.
And then a week later that that thing happened, and ever we went back
in my college like, well Tony, you kind of I'm like I didn't
call it. I just assumed things, you know, I know, like,
well, Tony, you were too soon a week early? Only were
you the armor of that show? I was not. I was not working.
Oh but yeah, check out Blade if you haven't. I don't know.
Hopefully the new one's good. I doubt it. Look, man,
I'm always a person I try not to go into movie. Even with that,
I try not to go into stuff, you know, negative all the
time to be like, oh, it's gonna suck, because it's because I
really do give things a chance. But sometimes I'm like, dude, I'm
on season two of Picard and I hated every episode of one because I'm hoping
maybe they'll They're not going to mass bother bother don't. I didn't bother with
any of the new start, And I was an apologist for two of the
new movies, not Into Darkness. All of the new movies are should be
Academy Award winning compared to what's on Paramount Plus right now. I like the
Jet I know they're not really Trek and I know they're changing it for modern
audiences, but I enjoyed them as fun action films. Set for Into Darkness
talk about okay, talk about recasting things. I was pissed when they picked
the whitest guy in the world to play con Oh my god, Benedict come
up. Yeah, and it's like, look, I get they got a
Mexican guy in this say these I don't know how many Indians were hanging around
Hollywood, Like I like it, I get it, but like this is
it was twenty fourteen at the time, Like, there's so many Indian actors
you could have got it was Hollywood's got a huge film industry. And then
it was a star power thing. It was because he wanted the ben in
a comber back ya. I'm like, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm
not gonna believe better to cover batches con Noonian sing. And then they had
to make a whole comic where they explained it. Oh who needs it?
And by the way, who needs Star Trek? The Orville is better than
it now anyway, Orville's these Orville's still going on. Season three should be
coming out June. Oh wow. They had Yeah, they had a big
because of COVID. They had like a really long break, right. People
loved the first season, just I like the second season two. All three
seasons I mean, if you like Star Trek, Next Generations, you like
Orville, because when I one of the world was coming out of it was
it's gonna be another one, like, oh, is a family guy in
Space? But it's not, actually it's it's actually good stories, like it's
pretty good. Well, like I said, Lust in Space, that's my
favorite one. But anyway, Blade, sorry, Blade, Blade, I'd
be laid x he goes to space and he fights Track. It's weird,
Like I'm mad that they're doing a movie because I know they're gonna be PG
thirteen. They have to, which sucks because Fox had the balls to put
out some R rated X Men movies. Maybe not man. Maybe we have
a little bit of hope because you know, you saw they move like the
Punisher TV show to Disney Plu. I mean the Punisher shows on Disney Plus
now and when you have Disney plus Now, when you log in, it
goes do you want you know, the kid version or well, so you
could actually adjust that. I heard they toned down the violence and kept in
the Falcon and Winter Soldier show. After the fact. Yeah, I only
watched it the first one and then I was I hated myself for watching it.
Yeah, it was the week too bitter. It was the weakest tuf.
I'm glad that he's I like him in the movies and I'm glad he's
got in America. But that was a weak gass no, no, But
the show was The show was harbage. Yeah, the show was not great.
Yeah, so I hope it's good. God, I'm gonna sneeze again.
Hold on, I gave him the serum Mine's just shitty. So it's
just it just makes him sneezy. So Dizzey's not going to release an R
rated movie. They no longer have Netflix. They're not gonna put something too
hard like Netflix made that and they're stuck with it, and they no longer
have Merrimax because of you know, the unpleasantness. Yeah. Yeah, uh
so that's why I'm not a little I'm not really excited for it. I
do like Marshall hall Lee. I guess that's a good characters too. But
yeah, and the fact that they introduced the character in Eternals, out of
all they should have introduced him in the Moonnight Show would have made more sense.
Yeah, than this, and than than the Eternals. Why why the
Internals has nothing to do with Blade. I don't even understand that character I
guess is a Blade character. Yeah, it's stupid. And that actor was
in the Inhuman show and now he came back to someone else in that movie.
That's the thing that happened now, the Inhuman show. That's the thing
we've all completely ignored until you see Doctor Strange. Anyway, why do you
do this is the end? Man? You may be miserable. Fine,
I have to damn it. It's actually funny. But yes, that is
it from us. Thank you for watching, Please like, share, and
subscribe. Royce. Where can we find you well? Definitely on Daywave,
Yes, and other shows and others. I learned my lesson and other shows
on the internet. Look, Rice, Rice, I need to be a
good boy on YouTube. I need to be a good boy on YouTube.
Check out Daywave where we have a LATINX host. Uh. One of my
coasts is a Jewish guy and the other ones an Asian guy. So yes,
diversity is our strength. It's a small world. On that you you
did that because you were so moved by Blade. Yeah. Yeah. It
had nothing to do with the fact they're just cool. It had to do
because of Blade. Yeah, it was important. If you had never seen
Blade, you probably would have an all white cast. You would have been
like, uh that that that year when Chavo Guerrero turned himself into Current in
White, you would pretend to be the best version of Shava Garo. Yeah,
I think I know who you're talking about. I forgot that was the
thing. It was so cramy. I was watching. After you mentioned it,
I went to YouTube the watch clips and I'm like, wow, Wow,
that was like cat it was. It was so bad. Anyway,
enough wrestles any anyway, Yeah, dah, check out day Wave and like
Sharon Suscribe, Coller Voiceman on line called, uh, subscribe to Patreon and
all that funny stuff. F in the chat for Dracula. F Hey,
what I'm to what what is this? It's a show we're reviewing reviewing a
movie. But I'm but I'm at like my house. How do is are
we? Why are you guys here? You haven't set up for a show.
I mean it's clear there's a DVD there. Oh okay, so about
that. Because I'm very famous, I use that theme to like talk to
girls and I'm always like, hey, come back to my place. We'll
shoot like a review. Uh, and it's just an excuse for girls to
talk to me and then I never upload the video. Does it work?
Uh? No, it's it. I never had sex with any of them.
So when you bring them in here, do you lock the door like
a hawk's tail and go? Now? You just can't sleeve. What movie
did you want to talk about again, Joyce? I don't remember? Oh
Plait too, we're talking about today Blaatee too. So here I am at
my house. Uh and with my good LATINX friend Royce, who just showed
up even though I told him never be on the show again because he's always
getting too fights on Twitter and he's very problematic. I outshined him. I
got. I got some comments that you were some kind of supremacist. I
don't know what was that was about. Oh, Brito supreme. I'm a
big fan of bo Oh okay, okay, you know what. I'm with
you there now because we all know we have to properly introduce everyone. Who
the hell are you? Hi? I'm joy of Pess. I don't know
how I ended up here. The door was unlocked, so he just walked
in. Do you want to walk into doors that are online? Have you
seen Blade too. Oh is that what? As a matter of fact,
Yes, and I have notes. This is gonna I have counts too.
This is gonna work out. I can't believe you shut up an announced for
a Blade two review and I just happen to have notes for it. Kis
met. This accidental YouTube show worked out better than most planned ones if you
asked me. So, yes, Blade two. I feel like I feel
like it should have like a subtitle. I don't know what it would be.
Blade two tax shelter. Blade two the best Blade movie, but also
not a good movie. That's very worthy. But I actually agree with him,
So yes, Blade two. Obviously everyone was pumped for this when it
came out. I love, I mean thinking about it that we didn't have
comic book movies back then, so that was a big deal. Well this
is this is two thousand and two, so they're starting to become more regular
Spider Man. Spider Man. Uh, we just got X Men at that
point on afflix stir level. When was that? That's the year after?
Oh okay, that's all of that whole area to me is like a blur,
you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like pre the pre MCU
era. Uh yeah, So I was very excited to see this. I
saw this in the theaters. Uh. Me and my friend loved it.
It was great at the time, that's what we thought. Yeah, and
I was just like, you know, when I was in the theater,
I actually said in two thousand and two, I'm like, well, this
is a win for diversity and the LATINX people because they gave it to a
Mexican director. Now, Royce, how did you feel that they weren't First
off, they weren't using that term yet. I'm I was. I was
very ahead of the curve. Wow. Really okay, I always is.
So how did I feel? I thought it was a really really big win
for the nightclub scene. All these movies back then always had to have a
techno scene. It was the weirdest thing to me, and we just accepted
it. We were like, that's pretty cool. There's a lot of lights
blinking. I also find that it was a It was a It was a
big momentous revive of a German expressionist fashion. Tight leather and tight tight.
You don't want to you, you don't want to get wet. No,
you know what. It's funny that the the Vampires of the previous blade are
all like cyberpunky looking sort of like that's a very good point. Yeah,
yeah, but then I guess because they're like Eastern Europe or something, these
vampires are dressed very differently. Yeah, so I didn't really know who gear
mil del Toro was at that point. Yeah, well I've seen mimic,
but I wasn't aware that he did it, and that's how he got the
job on this actually was this was before hell Boy, right, yes,
okay, yeah, quite a bit before. Yeah, first off, going
back to what you said, the weaker should have also been rained with all
the leather they were, and it was. It was more eurotrash vampires,
is the way I would describe it. Yeah, like kind of like you
ever seen the Nick Kroll when he talks about the Spotted Hostel in It's in
the Crawl Nikrall show that he had God earlier. But anyway, it's it's,
it's it's I've definitely seen I've seen every episode. I just don't remember.
Probably they would on their free time. The vampires were tracksuits and stuff.
But yeah, speaking of hell Boy, Mike mcnola was a visual consultant
on this film, and what's his face. Norman Ritas is wearing an the
hell Boy like logo shirt the whatever the company was, So I think this
might have been the origin of like the hell Boy movies. I also think
this was the film where there was finally that crossover in history where Edward Furlong
was too fucked up stepped in. I kind of looked similar. The first
thing I saw him, man, Norman Ritas was the was like the poor
man's uh prolong though for a while you think about it. Yeah, and
now obviously he's you know, still has a career, to be fair,
their careers video games and doing Walking Dead five Rise in the Machines, but
you know, at least he's still being invited. Yeah. So there was
a good team there, and like I said, the one producer, the
one producer on this had a company that did like title sequences and whatnot,
I think, and they did it for mimics. That's how he met del
Toro and he liked Del Toro. Steve Nortonton didn't want to come back to
direct, which I thought was odd. That's weird. The first one was
like such a success, right, Yeah, And we looked up the other
movies he had done, afterwards, and it's like they're not super impressive,
and it's they did. The thing was it's been a while since to be
blake too. We actually talk about talking about this before earlier, but like,
well, you didn't hear you were sleeping when you're home, we were
whispering to you or you were sleeping. That's how long you guys have been
here. Yeah, we had serial captain crunch, good choice, thank you.
Milk's gone bad though, and what the fuck? And sorry we were
thirsty? Okay, So anyway, going anyway, the thing with Blade to
have always remembered it as the best blade and and you know it might actually
will be the best blade. But like Pesty said earlier, it's still not
really a good movie. Or maybe that's not fair. That's not fair.
It doesn't hold up. There are I still think it holds up for the
most part, but there are weird things in it that are very dated or
just didn't make sense. Let me see here. Donnie Enna is in this,
okay, and he was one of the fight choreographer and he was fucking
underused. Oh who my god, thank you? Yeah you get that guy,
and you haven't like do two things. It could be a thing where
maybe like he wasn't ready to like act as much yet, but he he
choreographed a bunch of those. That's the thing though, But that's the thing.
He Okay, you've seen it, man, right? Uh No,
I actually haven't seen it. There's a scene in it, man where Donnie
En fights like fucking seventy dudes and he's fast and it's brutal. The fact
that he choreographed this wireframe sircd us over is insane. I don't know if
you choreographed those parts because there were multiple choreographers. I think he did more
of the hand on hand stuff. I think I think that well, a
couple of things. You say he's not ready to act yet. I looked
it up while we were watching Blade too. Wesley Snipes has like ten lines
in the movie. He doesn't really I want you to He doesn't talk a
lot. If you pant. He talked way more in the first one,
yeah, and the second one. All his badass action stuff, but all
his and we actually did we would do the script and we searched. Ninety
percent of his speech is just him answering somebody's question, like Blade, what's
this? It's a he like it's that he never Blade is not a great
conversation starter. Yeah. The best is when you have a secondary character just
going like this whole thing and then Blade nice to see. Larry goes nice.
Oh cool, now the hemoglobe and punch thing, that's what it was
like techoo babble, and then he goes nice like he understands it now.
Now. There was a cameo lined up from this, according to my research
here, apparently Michael Jackson was going to have a cameo. I believe he
was going to be some kind of vampire pimp at a club. They ended
up there was a scheduling thing, he wasn't able to do it. They
reshot up with another guy, and then they ended up deleting it. Anyway,
Yeah, he had a day with Corey Feldman allegedly allegedly said, allegedly,
people are still trying to be smirked to me, he's looking at allegedly
allegedly allegedly he still has he still had some you know, he had some
real uh bloodsucking to do. Come on, man, we're having fun here
all we're forced guests in his home. Where's the cat which can't which camera?
That's your camera. This is the nicest b and E you've ever dealt
that with him? This is this is just my house where illure girls with
my internet fame and failed to sleep with that. You learned too weirdos?
Yeah, back back fire they have they show up. So baby, I
got the entire one season of The Blade TV, which, by the way,
someday we're doing that supplemental. Yes, yes we should, we should.
So yeah, I guess we'll just go through the movie here. So
it starts off with a man named Nomac at a blood bank, and I
love that the one guy is a Microsoft guy. Yeah, I love that.
The one guy's like, this blood bank is the best you can donate.
How you what? They even take it in jars. Anyone would be
like why would they? That seems really unsanitary. What's going on here?
Hi? Yeah, I'd like to make a donation. But yeah, so
Nomac is there, He's like, yeah, I need like a transplant.
They're like, oh, there's something weird about your blood. We want to
look into it. And then they strap into a fucking chair. Lugar needles
like what Kluger the Freddy klue Gooliger needles. Frankie Kluk, which is a
great value. Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elmwood. Jessica, make Freddy Klueger.
This will be this will be comparable to crystals. Micer Miles. Thank
you for all the work you do, Jessica. I know we make it
hard and he might not appreciate you, but I do. Freddy Klueger the
Scar of dream Street. He was made by John woodworker Blade. I'm sorry.
I apologize. By the way, So it's needles. I mean,
what use is a needle that's like a glove Like that seems like a bad
idea, the worst weapon. You could just use one needle, like one
needles. We get one needle and we put it like on some sort of
stick to do this motion at him. I feel like that's way more efficient
than a hand needles. No, but I like the misdirect in the beginning
because I don't think this is based off any particular comic. They're like doing,
no, No, this is this is the this is like their own
stuff. Because the first movie, like Deacon Frost was a character. There
were some winks and nods. Like I said, they set up for Morbius
and then deleted it because even back then, the no one like Jared Leito
no no, back then, they wanted Morbius to be its own thing.
Well, they eventually did it, and it was worth it. It's Morbid
time anyway, uh So, I like the mister. Favorite scene of Morbius
is when he puts the needle back in the infected hole. I don't even
remember anything that happened to Morbious other than the dance scene and the weird flying
anyway. Anyway, So I like the misrect that you think this is like
a sick, dying man, yes, and then like he's crying and then
he's like laughing at this like jawl split, So we don't see the full
on jall split at that point. But I love when he bites the one
vampire and the blood just like fucking launches on the wall. I did,
I will, I will give a credit like I really did. Like the
okay, we've did the vampire thing, adding another element to the mouth thing.
I will agree that was kind of cool because it was like, oh
so because in the first one, you're like, by the end of the
first one, like oh, they've already figured o how to kill vampires easily.
But then if you make like, oh these are harder to kill,
it makes it a little harder. It's kind of like playing the sequel to
a game. You know, they can't start do with all the same power.
Yeah, yeah, so yeah. I like after this opening, Blade
says high to us. He's like, Hi, I'm Blade. My name
is Blade. That was drawn half human, half empire. He's like,
and then my friend Whistler died and they took him. And right there I'm
being in theater being like what the vampires went back for Whistler and I went
back. Wasn't the point that they wanted him to like sit there and die
and turn and then there was a mercy killing. It was. I think
it was just one of those scenes where they threw in where they needed a
reason to have that fight scene like the movie. The movie does from the
very first scene of the movie, it's like all they throw all this action
at you, like immediately, and movies in that jo in that era always
did that. But it's like they threw out this action and well why are
we doing this? And every scene they had it was always a flimsy reason,
like oh yeah, Wischer, they took Wizard early. We didn't tell
you. But yeah, wait, it's like so Deacon Frost like uh killed
him, went to turn him, and then you have to mercy kill him.
And then I guess other vampires went back for him and then put him
in a blood How the other vampires find out he was dead, like they
traced his fingerprints that he had on a jarm blood that he turned in at
the blood pain amazing, Wait, like why what was the need? I
guess it was just like, well, you got to bring him back.
He was in the first one, of course, but it's just like you
didn't have to like why not the doctor lady, Like even if even if
you wanted a cameo, you could be like, oh he recorded this video
from and do something dumb like like Jamie Kennedy and scream three. Yes,
yeah, maybe they just maybe they just went back and found him because hes
an old man, so there was blood in his stool and poor guy.
Anyway, I thought that was I always thought that was weird. Uh bringing
Whistler back is it was just bizarre. But the whole suit up scene kind
of gave me Batman Forever vibes, like we gotta zoom up on this and
this and this well everyone does. Everyone gives schumarcher shift for that. But
there's a lot of movies that did the whole suit up scene like that,
like the whole quick cut, like the first Nolan movie they do a suit
up scene. Menior man they do is obviously meteor Man. Yeah, it's
famous. You wore out my VHS copy of that. Is a kid,
not a lie. So Blade is honeting down people who know who Whistler is.
Uh, and he's like chasing these vampires and it's pretty cool. And
then we get the first example of the thing that ages the worst in this
film, the rubbery CGI body doubles. And this was not exclusive to this
film. This was a problem for a lot of movies at the time.
Of course, the same year Matrix reloaded, which, by the way,
I'm sorry, you mean the Dark City rip off you I've seen it.
Yeah, which, by the way, uh, that I think we mentioned
in the one Matrix episode when I rewatch Matrix reloaded that fight with him and
all the Smiths. It's so bad. No, no, But the thing
is, I forgot how good it starts. So it's it's it's it's a
pie. It's like it's like a float. Yeah, more Smith's less coal.
Yeah, because when it's just when when they're using doubles and stuff like
that, You're right, the fight is just. But the moment that he
did the pipe thing, I'm like, oh this and then it switches all
to CG. It gets so worse. So in this movie, to this
movie's credit, they try to like blend it in and out, like it
actually does something cool where it is like the live action actor and we'll go
into CG and then back into live action. Uh, but it's the movements
that are so awkward and where he's like coming down big Henry Caville mustache vibes
came. You had some shorthand for the beginning. So this one when we
watched this film, we didn't know we were doing this. We just happened
to watch Blake too, and what a coincidence. That's so there was a
little bit of shorthand that we used. Realick. Yeah, Oh it's a
cat, okay kitty, so uh space cat. We watched Blade to today.
What did you have to say about it? Anything? Anything? Okay,
Well, thanks for coming here screaming for attention and then doing nothing.
That was actually that was Ebert's exact review of the movie. Oh, oh
my god. At the end of this, I have to read Harry Knowle's
review of this movie. Okay, okay, have you ever heard it before?
Oh it's the anyway. Anyway, continue, So we did a lot
of shorthands, so I'm gonna go through it here. But so Clawn Needles
is there there Wesley's gun skills ship. Yeah, that's the other thing.
So when he his shooting whenever he seems did you notice on you anytime it's
a scene where he's shooting, you never see who he's shooting at. It's
just seems to him, what are you doing? Yeah, you're supposed to
be this cool guy and you're just, oh, just doing one of these
and around the corner with this weird with this weird rectangle guns. It was
to force. Back then, gung fu was a big thing. Yeah,
because of the matrix another reason and equilibrium and stuff like that. There's a
lot of gun fu and everything. So you just had to add it and
everything, and it's like, no, movies don't really need that. Yeah,
no, I really don't. I mean, I love gun fu gun
katta. I think that's what they called it, an equilibrium. I'm more
of a gym cotta man. But that's just rest in peace then man act.
So yeah, he ends up torturing a guy. By the way,
we mentioned in the previous film that he will go from stoic and then occasionally
have this like weird personality change. Yeah, and with his car, he
like has the motorcycle almost hits his car and then he stops. He's like,
I'm like, yes, I'm like, you are so totally consistent,
Blake, but like luckily it only comes out once in a while, which
I think is funny. But yeah, he torture is the one guy.
I love that the helmet just snaps in half when he's like putting his face
of the rubber. So then they go he goes to the safe house where
Whistler is and the vampires are snorting blood, blood cocaine, blood cocaine.
That was shorthand, So blood cocaine is amazing. Okay, Okay, well
but is the idea is it regular blood orre they mixing it with drugs?
Hear me out. Okay, they get blood from people that gusted cocaine and
then they dry it and they snort it. Yeah, like if they want
to get drunk. Have you seen what we do in the Shadows. Yeah,
I was just about saying Jessica cuts to the drug blood clip like that.
We drank the blood of some people, but the people want drugs.
And now I'm a wizard the blade versus complete. That's why they always had
those raves. Yeah, so they can harvest drug blood. They're harvesting drug
blood. I'm with you, but I think that they're taking that cocaine addicts
blood and they're putting it in more cocaine. You think it's mixed with every
time. I don't blade rules, but in most vampire movies, whenever a
vampire each regular food, it makes them sick or it things it up.
Yeah, so I don't know if it works the same way with drugs.
I mean, it's not food. And by the way, he listen,
vampire movie makers, can we stop the trope of drinking blood in a wine
glass? It's it's it's I'm so sick of that trope. It's gonna get
cold, I know, and then it coagulates, coagulates drinking right away.
Yeah. Yeah, less blood and glasses, more blood rapes things, more
blood ripes. Thinking speaking of vampires, I finally watched Midnight Mass. Oh
yeah, it was actually pretty decent. I haven't seen it. It was
actually a nice little twist on the vampire lord. So yeah, he saves
Whistler, who's in a big blood thing. By the way, I love
the guy who knocks on the door. He's like, oh, who's there.
He just gets shot like dissolves. Oh. I was gonna say the
previous fight, the vampire dissolving is that was so bad? Yeah, yeah,
which even the first movie had some issues with with the dissolving. I
mean, in terms of CGI movies from that era, I try to give
a little bit more of a pass because but then I look back and go
with Jurassic Park was so good, Like Jurassic Park well has ruined CG for
a lot. Well, think about it, the big movies like that.
They were developing the technology for those movies and working on it for years,
and then you have these other guys that are like, we can also use
computers. We'll also make all the CGI and they're like, cool, spawn's
gonna look great, right, and then it comes down it's like, oh
my god, what that looks nothing like Jurassic far put sixty five more Agent
Smith. Yeah, and this is why she Hulk looks the way in case
you're curious, because the big money goes to the real Hulk. She Hulk
gets a TV Disney buzz. I love that on Twitter. You thought I
was like angry at people shitting on sheihold, oh, I don't think you
were angry. It was so what I said for shee Hulk. Yes,
it's Marvel related. I'm like, this is I'm like, I know every
single thing that happened in that show because people want to stop bitching about them
on Twitter. And the point I shouldn't tweet first thing in the morning because
usually when everything gets spoiled for me, like Mandalorian, it's by fans who
can't shut up. She look is the first time where literally I know every
detail because people were complaining And I'm like, well, I didn't even have
to watch the show. Consider yourself lucky and blood. I guess I got
two episodes left. But but like I said, Mandalorian, I knew everything
turns out at the end. It was a Wommandalorian glass ceiling broken. I
love I love when Star Wars fans get so upset that I don't like Mandalorian.
I'm like it sucks it. Okay, I thought it was a bounty
hunting show. It's a babysitting show. And my favorite was when everyone was
raising Arizona. Uh no, we no, I like raising Arizona, but
I know what that is going in. I just a masterpiece, you know
what I hate. I hate it when everyone pretended Gina Corano was a good
actress before she was a bad guy, and then she was a bad guy
and everyone ate her. I'm like, she sucked before that. He's never
a good actress. Have you seen Haywires on of the words. I never
thought is a good actress. That was like when you were like upset and
like, no, I can understand if you're upset that she got fired and
stuff, but let's not pretend that she was the glue holding it together.
She was awful. Gina Corano is like Ronda Rousey. There they get these
they get propped up, but they're not terrible, terrible woman. I hear
both of you. You guys have a very good point, but she's so
thick and hot. I don't care. Oh yeah, yeah, I forgive
everything, get it, bro, I will, I will you invite me
into your home? I didn't nobody. Okay, fair enough, we broke
into your home. But here me out, Tony. Nobody talks about about
Gina con I'm sorry. Watch I'm gonna watch every Gina Kurana movie now,
the Western and the REDDA and the Red Alert cut scenes because she was in
those, Yes, Yes, and Man and Conquer and the the Hunter Biden
movie. I'm gonna watch that. Actually, you should join us. We're
riffing that next month. That's is it out? Did it come out?
I have it? I mean by the time this comes out, the movie's
been out for a while. Yes, okay, anyway, anyway, anyway,
you know what, You're right, I gotta review it in time because
if I wait to talk about The Hunter Biden and think it's not gonna be
news anymore. So anyway, let's get back into this. Blade gets Whistler
out of there. Yes, but he's kind of vampirish. I guess he
never fully turns. Okay, that's because they kept them in stasis. The
whole plot of the first movie, well, one of the subplots was the
girl that was kinda turn into vampire. They're trying to stop her from turning
into one. Remember the first one, yeah, okay, So the whole
thing was like, how do we do this? You were even how to
do it? This should be easy to fix it. You're not you know
how to do it already. Well, remember I think it did end up
working for her, right, she had or she was working on a cure.
I thought that she was cured for sure and then didn't have to make
her blood. Yeah something like. I think from what I remember, she
actually did form some kind of cure or was close to getting a cure.
But when she was working on the cure, she accidentally made something that killed
them. Remember that killed their God? Yeah, they're God, they'd be
more upset about that, but real God doesn't show up till the third one,
right, right, Oh my god? Guy Parker posey stupid. It's
anyway Ryan Reynolds. So I guess he does have that kind of cure that
can cure you in time. So he gives uh whistler a injection and he's
like, hey, I'm opening those fucking shades whether you're turned or not,
good luck buddy, Like, hey, blade, he might actually die.
Do you want to like say like something like something nicer and said He's like,
hey, man, you might get fucking roastic good luck and like,
where's the point of even going after it? Some motherfuck is always trying to
hop scotch what But it's okay, he couldn't say anything. He only answers
questions in the movie. It's okay, though, Whistler is cured. But
now they introduce this whole like where does his allegiance lie? Oh my god,
okay, can we okay, we talk about that? What is it?
They just like they do this like blind, like this double blind reveal,
like you go, oh, where was you? Where were you?
And they're like building down because he gets introduced to Scuds, who is blades
new tech guy, and there's that immediate hostility there. Name though, Yeah,
all the names are so fucking stupid in this they pull them out of
a hat. Bro. Yeah, it's so funny. They just pulled the
name out of it. In my notes, I don't refer to him as
Lighthammer. I call him barbarian Lighthammer. Scuds isn't a fan of him,
and they're trying to do this whole thing. It never really worked for me.
But yeah, they get attacked by ninja vampires. Okay, here we
go, all right, yeah, this is my play. Yeah, okay,
go ahead. They get attacked by ninja vampires for five minutes and then
it's just like, no, no, wait, we're on your side.
You were just trying to fucking kill us. I was screaming when we were
watching this because I because I forgot about that part. It's like, instead
of like I don't know, calling him on the phone or showing up and
be like, hey, look, we have no weapons, we're here to
talk, we're on your side instead, And like I brought up earlier,
which is a theme for this movie that you guys are gonna see. It's
finding reasons to have fights even when they doesn't need to be fights, because
they need action. They need action. I think they're just, you know,
you're marketing to like your typical adolescent teenage kid where it's like I need
action. I need action. I'm thinking maybe they were like, all right,
well, Blade's not gonna listen to a fucking thing we say we're gonna
show up, and he's just gonna murder us. So like maybe we could
like stab him. And I think the idea was not to kill him in
capacity, but it could pacitate a blog enough. They're like Okay, now
that we've impaled you, you can survive it. Uh, let's talk great.
But but you're that's a great point. I didn't think about that because
if a vampire just shows like bladeo big, You're right. Blade was just
about to let Whistler die, so I'm sure if a random dude shows up
ismber Blade. Blade hates vampires. At no point in this movie does he
give an update on how that vampire cure is going. Oh, because he
doesn't fucking care. He hears me wants to kill him. Send a hot
chick like in the first one. If you send a hot well she did
the vampire track, Send it hot familiar and be like, look, I'm
not a vampire. You could check me with your vampire machine that they I
guess. I don't know, I guess, and and and then be like,
hey, look these guys actually want to work with you. And then
I'm gonna mumble a couple of things. But that fight scene, I will
say, was a cool fight scene, except I was reading the IMDb and
I kind of want to go and listen to the commentary track because apparently even
Del Toro will make fun of the band CGI In the commentary track. So
yeah, they they eventually are like, hey, look we want a truce.
I will say the goggles are cool. How they like were tract and
everything like owls eyes. Yeah, and like the goggles and all the weird
goggle stuff. It does seem again like things that would we would end up
seeing in Hell Boy later on. Yes, yes, yes, this this
feels like how J. J. Abrams used Star Trek because he wanted to
make a Star Wars movie. This feels like del Tour, like look,
I'll do Blade too, but I really want to do hell Boys. Like
look at what I'm capable of? Yeah, look at I'm capable of here.
Yeah, one thing, one note, one note that I took during
that whole Ninja sword fight part was I don't know if you noticed, but
every time they do the fight, they kept they kept finding a reason to
fight in front of these like giant the god lights the God. But they
kept they move away and then somehow end up back in front of them and
to move away, and and those lights don't hurt them because they're covered in
the suit. I guess there's some well you get I'm gonna bring it up
when we get to the sewer level. Yeah, the sewer level I'm gonna
bring on. Let's put a pin on that for now because I am going
to bring that up. Uh. But yeah, Nissa, she is the
vampire princess. She is one of those Binks calls calls people mister right,
Messa vampire not I apologize, Missa, not the racist caricature lisas whatever.
She is one of the three Martas from Arrested Development. I believe she is
the first Martin. Oh I didn't know that, and I've watched a million
times. So she played Marta in two episodes and then it turned into the
girl from the Mummy. Yes, yeah, I forget, I'm blanking on.
One was like super tan and all the time. Yeh yes, and
then there was they do a flashback to just some actress who is supposed to
be Marta. But she is the first Marta interested development. And that's that's
what I know. Her friend, I mean, she's in other things.
Whatever works. But yeah, Blade agrees to go to the vampire headquarters,
which did he not know where that was located? You never know where that
was local. It also seemed like they weren't hiding it that well. No,
it feels like it was super easy to find the van. It's probably
in Google. Yeah, it us me back in map Quest. It's like
a pop up restaurant, so the location changes all the time. It all
just depends on what's local and what's fresh. I do like that. She's
just like, it's so weird that he just agreed to come here. And
it's like, oh, yeah, he's got a suicide bomb vest on right
now, and no point to the vampires be like, okay, look,
we'll give you like a gud. You can't break the suicide bob vested here.
The vampires are observably stupid, yes, because the things they do,
and I understand writing wise why they try to do some of the things.
But like you just said, that's a great example. They immediately trust Blade,
the guy whose entire goal is to genocide their entire people. No,
that's what Blade is. Look for vampire is his goal. Blade is a
dick. Look, depending on whose side you're on, Blade is a horrible
monster. And again, the biggest point in that favor is he never updates
us on the vampire cure. He doesn't want it. Blade doesn't Blade doesn't
want to help. Blade wants to hunt. Yeah, and because he purposely
is like, just give me a different serum. I don't want the cure.
I need more vampires to kill. And no one, no one ever
says like, well, if you have a cure, you could just cure
them. Now He's like, daw, that's not on my enchance. I
need to murder them. How's that cure coming along? How's that cure coming
along? Blade? Oh no, no, no, I do something else.
Now I'm doing the opposite. This one makes more vampires. That cure
never comes out. Blade three. There should have been people be like,
hey, play look, we're just curing them. Now he's like, I
still gotta murder them. No, no, no, no, we can
see that we have we literally have an injection. It goes right away.
What if they're halfway to being cured? Can I still kill them because it's
a little vampire. What acceptable amount of vampire through the head? Yes?
Can I put my sword through their head? Can I kill it? Can
I? So? Can I kill a vampire in the third trimester? It's
Blade first off? First off, Blade no versus Blade bro the podcast.
Hey that was a fun one, guys, thank you. That's like Betsy
Ever said, so after rob Blade, you can't. Sorry, let's go.
Okay, So Thomas Kretchman plays Thomasquinoes who looks like that sparatu. Yes,
yes, Thomas Kreshman, who's a Nazi in Dial of Destiny. Oh
really, we have our theories. I like Thomaskretschman. He's fine. So
you're saying you love the CGI and the Trailer of Destiny. I agree,
No, no, that I don't like. So Thomas Kreshman, are you
talking about that old wet vampire? We gotta talk about the glistening? Well,
I think like the idea was that his skin is like marble. I
guess yeh didn't come off that way looking. He was always getting out of
a hot tub. Yes, And we so we started calling it like,
oh it's our time, is the vampires time of the glistening when we all
all the real bood vampires, they just get by the way, Why does
he look like different? Okay, I don't. That's the other thing too,
that they never really because a lot of times if a vampire sometimes they
just look creepy and old. But if you have these like nicer looking vampires
and then there's a creepy one, a lot of times, like the thing
will be like, oh, they're not drinking as much blood like uh,
like Dracula, so he starts off as an old man, the more bloody
drinking. I remember. Yes, obviously that's the one I was referring to.
That's the canon Dracula. We all strokers, Leslie, got any of
these Draculas here? I actually don't have Dracula Dead in love it and I
need to ge it's in the DVD players you were watching all the time.
Me too. That's true, that's true, keeps melting the dead. So,
Leslie Nielsen is your favorite Dracula. Yeah, obviously it's okay. Well
that that's kind of mean to me because you know I had Drag District Attorney
Dracula Mummy Cop, and I thought, you say, Tony, I'm such
a good friend. I watch your old web series and that's my favorite Tracula.
But now I know that we're not friends. Why would you think we're
friends? Are broken your home? It's true, it's true. That's true.
So not Sparado's there? Uh, And I don't feel like saying dom
Asquino, so we're just gonna call him that Sperato. Nuts for us,
nuts for us. But my whole thing. They do it in what we
do in the Shadows also, But I think the whole thing with like vampire
lore is those those the really old ones look that way. It's because they
had They aren't necessarily adapted to modern society. Yeah, they're still very fearal
almost so they just kept looking like that, and they probably feed a lot
more and there's more more on like the beast side of things. That's like
an Anne Rice thing. It didn't make it into the movies, but there
are these like Wraith type vampires in her books that like have no social interaction
and don't feed as much, so they're like basically zombies. Like they're like
creepy zombie things. That's what it never made in the movies. I don't
know if it's in the show, but like interview with the vampires, Like,
yeah, me and the girl we met looking for vampires. The one
we found scared of the shit out of us and we murdered it. So
yeah, they're basically like Blade. There is a new vampire on the block
and they're called reapers, uh, and they're like scary. They feed on
human and vampire blood, And I thought, are the pirates from firefly.
Yeah, I think they might or were they reavers? They might have been
reavers. What's the pepper Okay, so these pepper vampires go ahead, the
pepper vampires Dad scorpion vampires. Yes, yes, They're like, hey,
look, they're gonna kill all of us. It's some mutated strain. We
don't know where this virus came from. So yeah, they're like, look,
we we want to team up. You're gonna team up with this team
to kill these new vampires. By the way, the team that you're teaming
up with has been trained to kill you for the last two years. I
do like that twist where it's like these people literally their only purpose is to
kill Blade and now they have to work with him. I just want to
warn you Blade, one of your new crew members. He tweets about having
piss on his hands a lot. My god, Ron, are those real
tweets or like joke? No? Those are real? No, those are
real. Those are real tweets. I think he is what's his name in
this It's a very German name, because I think from what I read in
the original script he might have been like a former Nazi, but that did
not make it in He is racing for Nazi. His name was Vampire former
not current. Yeah, he's right, by the way, current Nazi,
I get right, current, not well, we don't know when this comes
out. Current and Jessica listen, I want to apologize. Please keep out
beleep that out too. Yeah. I like that he changed I just like
that he changed his name to what people say when he's in a room now
yeah, yes, oh man. And he's also a vampire because he wears
the black mask all the time too, so the sun. Yeah, what's
the last time we've seen him in the daytime? He fears daywalkers. All
those videos he's been doing are at night. He's a mPire Reinhart. Okay,
so all their names are stupid, Like I said, Lighthammer, Reinhart,
everyst I don't know the other one. I want to say. There,
there's there's tumblr girl. Dude. There's a guy named Chupa chupa Yes
with soccer, which is Spanish for sucker. Sucker. Yes. The troop
of Cabra, the troop of cobricks. That's not how we use it in
high school, okay, where we got up at the times, it's chop
of copris of cobricks. Copricks also just wanted to say missed opportunity in the
film, when Donnie En shows up for the first time, they should have
been like, who's that man, and they go, that's Snowman. That's
a vampire. Is name Snowman? Snow Man? That Snowman, that's a
vampire? Like they gave him everybody, No, no, they gave him
a way better name in Star Wars Rogue one. And that name is did
they say his name in Star Wars? He is it? Is it?
I feel like it's racist. I can't say it. Cheerot m Way.
Okay, come on man, yeah, cheired Way, Yes, native American
Donnie Yen played Cheerut m Way in you it's actor Donnie En. Okay,
you know what I might you might be right Star Wars. I'm not defending
anymore, Tony. I'll give you this one that way. People say it
is good, I'm like, I know, I know you went. You
know what. Looking back on it, Rogue one was only good because everything
else around was. It was at least marginally better than the other movies.
But it's not. Sorry, Blade, I apologize, sorry, play play
play so Ron Pearlman, He asked Blade if he blushes. Can you blush?
Here we go boppy, which is racist? That was That's a good
point. That was a super racist. By the way, the reason it's
in here, Wesley Snipes made them put the scene in because someone did that
to him and he wanted it in the movie. Like someone legit asked that
of Wesley Snipes. Ones. Okay, first of all, first of all,
brave to walk up to Wesley Snipes and ask him that fucking question.
We don't know if he was like Wesley Snipes. Yeah, he might have
just been like a kid or something like. I wouldn't go up to Wesley
Snipes and say that. I wouldn't go up to Wesley Snipe. No,
I would totally go up to Wesley Snipes and be like, so, what
did you do wrong? And what can I learn from your mistakes? Because
I don't want to pay the government. I'm sorry, Jessica, cut that
out. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna ask him demolition man questions. That's
mine. That's the next of the agenda, is everything about demolition over a
meal at Taco Bell Simon Phoenix actually from Tucson, did you know that?
Not? Really just made it up? So he puts a bomb in ron
Perlman's head. All that the suicide squad, the suicide squad brainstem. I
forgot about that. Yeah, and then then you find out by the way,
way too shortly afterwards, like there never was a bomb would ahead Ronan's
fucking haircut? So we looked at that. I actually sent you that on
Twitter too, because we took it. I took a screenshrive. His hair
goes from here and then it's like if my beard kept going up but then
went and connected in the back like a monk. You should get you should
rock. I'm gonna do it. I'm you should be Ryan Hart next.
Nobody know who I am. The think I'm a homeless guy. Dude.
It's like it's like goggles but a beard. Yeah, so I never noticed
it before until I read the fact he never takes his sunglasses off this entire
film. Yeah, they are. He's always wearing his sunglasses. I think
it's always wearing sunglasses in everything he does. Oh, I think you know
what that that that actually makes It's not just in that movie. He does
wear sunglasses a lot, like Sots of Anarchy and everything too. But like
it's just because he's run Proman kind of has butthole eyes. No, I
mean like they're instant, they're pushed in. But yeah, no, I
get what you mean. I get what you mean. This is really mean.
But yeah, because we would want to offend nice sky Ron Peerlman give
his hand. So they go to the Vampire Club and again Blade's like,
is this a club? I don't see any symbols the witnesses should say,
is like, I don't know it is, trust me, it's new.
We didn't put the symbols up yet. Instead, she's like, well,
Blade, because you keep killing all of us, we now have these hidden
sequels and these are the goggles that you need to see them. It's like,
what the fuck are you doing? But you're only teaming up Blade for
this specific purpose. You're going back to being enemies afterwards. He wants to
genocide your people. Stop giving them AMMO. I've never that's a really good
point. Yeah, it's like why, Like, I understand teaming up to
help, but you don't have to give away like your basis location, the
launch codes, you know what I mean. Oh, by the way,
we got to mention the familiar with Nosperado. It's like we need to thank
you, and he's like for what. He's like, killing Deacon Frost,
you did us a favor. It's like, what, how did you guys?
I mean, are you guys a different vampire counsel and you're heard about
that. I just like the fact that fucking Blade up until yesterday was trying
to kill all these vampires and now they're next to him with tons of AMMO
and weapons going, you know, I want to share you my secrets and
my weaknesses. Yeah, technically Notsrado should be like, hey, look,
I know Deacon was an anshole, but I think you killed our god.
Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that. It's also, Deacon
Frost, what a waste of a name. You should only got some sort
of like Frost hero or Frost villain. You know, that's some ice bace
thing. If you killed a vamp, if you killed the vampire's god,
though, all the other ones should die, isn't that the don't they Well,
in the first one, they didn't even think he was real. It
was a surprise to him when it turned out to be real. Only the
Orthodox vampires die if you kill their guys are fine, and they head toward
the vampire club. I like the slow motion walking in a line show.
Oh my god, wait, we looked at the vampire club's name. What
was it? It was really corn was it rad? Dude? I think
it was really bad. It was like it was like really like you might
have all these goggles and stuff. But as a human, if I saw
the name of like, oh, that's a vampire club that because it was
a BDSM club I believe I remember correctly. But they're making out with brazor
blades in their mouth, that they were doing something as one of their spines,
Like it's just really weird. Like okay, but even if you're a
human and you're trying to hide this, I go that guy should be dead.
His back's open. No, I think they're vampires. No, I
know, but they like doing the body modification because they could just heal.
I guess that's true. It's just yeah, I do like that he bumps
into the guy from earlier because he's the guy's like dancing. He's like,
oh no, okay, we're gonna talk about the brave that one nerdy guy
in the audience. Okay, if you can find that clip and put here
to be hilarious, you could you can't miss the guy in the rave scene.
He looks like he looks like Revenge of the Nerds, like he was
ginger, Like I'm fucking there, Yeah, he's ginger. He big glasses,
white shirt, blue jeans. Everyone else is dressed in like rafe material
he's dressing. He's in a diet coke commercial and he's just doing like,
Yeah, it's the best blood raf I've ever had. By the way,
I like that the vampires are all still racist. They're like they're not even
pure bloods. Look, all the vampires just keep asking Blade if you good
blush. It's like, okay, it's getting gratuitous. This is gratuitous.
So Ron Perlman and Blades's feud is very funny. I like that he's in
the club and he's got like the gun. It's like I could kill him
right now. But then it's just like I think Blade's got the gun pointing
that it's dead or something, and I'm like, okay, but them both
of you to kill each other, like one doesn't really have the tactical advantage
here, by the way, So they have like the laser site, and
I think the laser sight is uninterrupted. It's like it's just commediately no one
dancing in front of them. It's so brad Well, they're flowing in a
movie there, Tony, Oh, that's right. I do love the reveal
of the Reapers though, when it like goes underground and they're just like all
looking up. Well okay, I was laughing about that, because you're right,
they're all looking up. But then what you don't notice for like twenty
minutes, people are just like dropping their earrings and change on their heads and
drinks and drinks are falling on their faces. That whole layer down there under
that club probably smells like a dorm room carpet. Yeah, to think about
it, because first off, why would you have a club where the floor
is graded, where all the just club crap, there's like molly on the
bikes and stuff. I assuming club goers are wearing heels, why is it?
Why is it a grated floor? Little bag? Yeah, little little
baggies of blood cocaine are just falling through the greats down there. Yea.
The morn this movie, the more you think of it, it's like that
doesn't make sense. Wait a second, you tell me his Blade movie has
some plotholes in and I don't believe you. So they're starting to look for
reapers, and I like the big barbarian guys being stock stock by fucking Gollum.
It's like the tiniest reaper in the world. They all make it a
move and they attack the Blood Pack and the Blade Boys. I guess it's
the the Blade the Blade Boys, and the Blood Pack. And actually,
you know what, Nomac. I really like that actor, and I wish
he was in worse stuff that I've seen. He ends up being the bad
Eye in Hellboy too. Yeah, he's the Prince and he he is in
uh, he's in it Made for TV Frankenstein adaptation, and he is like
the most faithful depiction of the creature to the book, like he has the
long black hair and whatnot. Because all the movies they like fuck it up.
But yeah, he's actually a really good actor. And I looked up
his like IMDb, and I'm like, I haven't heard of any of these
movies. I never see them, Like I want to see him in more
things. Does he do more like art house stuff outside of this Maybe No,
it looks like he does do it like a lot of action stuff.
Maybe it's just not these Maybe he's not a lot of American productions, but
he's good. He's really really good in this. The reapers are super hard
to kill. I like that they don't know how to kill them, and
they're healing faster too. Do you notice the reapers healed really fast compared to
other vampires. Yes, again, because they're racist against their own kind.
The one guy who only likes pure bloods, he's like, well, I
got to shoot that raper. All all these vampires are in front of me.
Not too bad, and he just fires into an open crowd, killing
regular vampires to get to the reaper. Guys. I'm gonna I'm gonna say
something, and look, this is a hot take. Yeah, vampires are
kind of jerks. Yeah, I'm starting to think these vampires aren't very nice
their own Yeah. The one reaper, he gets pinned to a wall by
Donnie En and then he just slices his own dick off to run away.
That's actually cg man, I'm sorry, I actually do. That's actually one
CGI scene that's actually pretty cool because the the weird movement kind of works for
that, and well runs into a shadow. When you're not doing specifically human
stuff, you get away with it. Yeah, it's when you try to
the human stuff, you get that uncanny valley stuff. It's weird. Yeah.
And also around this time is the first time we actually see their mouths,
and they're horrifying. I love that, but it's very Resident evilish with
the bottom Actually before Resident I know, I'm just saying like, well,
no, because the game The Hell Hounds mouthsted that in the games. No,
no, not oh no, the remake. You're right, the whole
like splitting thing. I didn't think that was Resident Eval five, which is
like two thousand and nine maybe, but it is. It is. It
is good. It's a good. It's good. It's a good. It's
a simple thing you could do that makes it extremely terrifying. Now, are
the mouths more functional? Not really like, oh you know what are you
gonna you have to really get closer to go with your with your big mouth
hold. Yeah, and they got like the weird tongue tents. The mouth
thing was really funny to see because like years later, Gammere del Toro did
the strain, so so I looked into that same So a lot of people
think he took the ideas here to do the strain, but it's actually the
reverse he wanted to do. I've never actually seen the strain, but he
wanted to do that first and he couldn't get it off the ground. So
he used some of his ideas in again like you were saying earlier, to
show off what he could do. By the time he was able to reuse
some of those ideas and do the original. Those vampires are exactly the same.
Their mouths open like they've got the ten thing. It is, those
exact same kind of vampire. That was just the original concept he came up
with. He's like, well, I got to do it in Blade to
first, like Neil Blumpkin the District nine to make an alien movie. Then
they never gave him the alien movie good because a big word alien. But
I always call him that. That's the best. Oh, I've always do
that greatest thing I've ever heard of. If you don't know what a blumpkin
is, looking up no moderate search on then look it up. First,
look up grandma, Grandma, what's a blumpkin? Then look up what a
blumpkin is. I haven't heard blumpkins since I listened to Howard's Like it's been
a long time. Will calm Blade's whack pack So it turns out, as
far as they can tell, only sunlight can kill them. Yes, and
they have they have like UV, they have a filter to keep them safe,
but they have the sunlight. Uh. The Barbarian, he gets bit
and he does the classic cliche of hiding that he was Oh my god,
OK, we got to talk about this for a second. We literally did
that. It's not that he did the cover up with with that. That
was corny enough. Yeah, but it's it. He was only wearing a
vest, was asleep with muscles, and normally it wanted him to be shirtless,
but I think they had to give him it. But the covering it
up doesn't work with a little tiny vest because the moment you stand up,
there's a big bite mark here. Why he's covering up because he knows he
will be turned. It's been established that they can turn with the smallest little
piece of beverage. I know. Stupid Blade fights Nomac and it's pretty cool
fight in that like that like abandoned. It looks like a church or something.
Uh, so that's a pretty cool fight. When Kevin Bacon danced it
out on footloose, yeah, yeah, he tries to use the blood exploding
stuff that works so well last time, and I like that, you think
it's gonna work for a moment and then he's just like blah, He's like
I'm fine, and Blade is just like, come on, so what the
fuck? This was the fight scene where I started to just get really annoyed
and really started to pick up on the fact that, like when you watch
an action movie, a real testament as to how good the actor is,
it's how many fucking cuts? Yeah, one fight two minutes of fight scene
on that I counted like sixty cuts, like every It was like watching a
w w oh, like a modern one yeader. You know what's funny.
They don't do that all the time, Like they'll do it and then people
complain, and I noticed they don't do it as much, and then they
start doing it again. But there's a new Boston town too. Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, I know a lot of people ship on the quick
cuts. It depends for me. Sometimes it works in this In this one,
it just made it seem so you could do quick cuts or you could
do close ups. My promise when you do both at the same time.
Yeah, you have the first like the Batman begins to where it's too close
up, I don't see what's happening. Apparently the idea there for that film
was like they wanted it to purposely be disoriented. So that's how like the
criminals are seeing it. But it didn't work, and to their credit,
like the second and third movie, they don't really do that again. They
like they pull the camera back, and they do and they fix the net
thing too, which I know you're an expert at because all your knowledge is
why you were in the film. In the third ones, I was Did
you know I was in the dark Knight Rise? He really was. It's
not a joke, it's not a bit. Here's Bain. I got to
see him on set, and of course like oh god, oh God,
oh God. And of course I have the four KH copy, and I
can see yourself clearly. No, I still can't see myself even in four
K. But I'm there. You know the scene in the football stadium,
Yeah, I'm there. He's one of Oh you're just somewhere in that football
stadium. I'm behind the goal post and I have a scene with Tom Hardy
because he's in front of the camera and I'm on the opposite side of the
field, out of focus. Thank you very much. I can see your
shape. Speaking of goal posts, speaking of gold posts. Every time I
ask him if he's in the movie, keeps moving it the goal post to
what being in a movie? I am in the movie? Okay, technically,
yeah, I am in the movie and that's why. And I'm in
an episode of Bird Notice that happened to walk by while they're filming the back.
That's the best episode of Bird Notice. You know what it was,
So therefore this is the best Batman movie. There's a scene in boone Dock
Saints too where you see my heel as it's leaving a frame. You know
what. I really don't like Boondock Saints, so I didn't. I didn't
watch the sequel, and now and now I will, and now I really
won't. You really haven't seen the Seat. It's not good, but it's
definitely worth reviewing it, maybe for reviewing. Yeah, yeah, Well do
you like during the Nomac fight they have the slowest fall every scaffolding, but
then they're falling slow enough that they can keep punching. We brought that up.
We were watching and we're like, how long are they falling for?
So then is this an example where we have seen through the Blade series,
and vampires can defy gravity long or they could jump fat. So are they
both define gravity or are they falling at a normal rate? Are they working
in tandem to fall? Slogan like, these are the dumb things that I
think about. But when I'm watching the movie, because remember I was a
lot younger. When I watched it, it was a completely it's just all
cool action scene. But now you're like, are they floating? Is this?
Are they floating and hitting each other? It's a little weird. It's
a little wit. Are they in the Wonka pop floating fan? What's happening?
Yeah, fizzy lift each other. But I do, I do,
like, I really do. Like when the sunlight comes and he's got to
get out of there, he does turn into Spider Man for a second,
like jumping from the wall to wall. That was pretty cool. And the
I'm thinking to myself, well, you did it all the time, then
how then? And you also they should all be the same powerful they should
we do that. So there's a lot of scenes before where they're hunting the
Blade the Blade boys, if you did that, you would have killed them.
They wouldn't be able to catch you. You're that fast, right,
Yeah, so if I had if I had super super nat if I had
like superhuman abilities, I'd be more annoyed if I just kept discovering things I
could suddenly do. I want to know my abilities. I can't do this.
I could do that, motherfucker. If I have to spend all my
time in the dark and drink people's next, at least tell me what the
benefits are. You gotta give Toby Maguire, Tobey Wire Spider Man credit.
They really went into him trying to figure out everything he can do. I
give them Sam Rave. He gets a lot of credit for that because there's
a lot of movies now where so like, oh, you can just do
all that and at least they explain, oh, because the things are coming
out of his hands and yeah with and look, I get that these Blade
films are supposed to be mindless action films, so obviously you can't go into
him expecting like something amazing, So but you can't. You But it does
feel like it was a lot of like we need situations for them to be
doing this thing. Who doesn't matter what it is, nobody cares. Yeah,
yeah, I do like that one blood pack guy priest is turning into
a reaper and they're like trying to kill him and it's not working. They
slice his head off and he doesn't die with the silver. They eventually have
to use sunlight. I like that they burn his body, but that the
half of his head is still alive. I like, you guys gonna scoot
that into the sunlight. I will say that that what that you want to
talk about? You know, we we crap on the bad cgi, But
him blinking after his head was cut off, that was pretty cool. That
was cool. I was like, Okay, that's pretty cool. But it's
like, oh wow, so that is a good way of going like,
oh wow, so it needs to be light. Yes, now I wanted
to. I want to. I wanted to bring up something and Royce,
you actually brought it up when you were watching Blake too. But how do
they afford so much silver? Yea for thousands of Okay no no, no,
no, no no. The vampires might be collecting for thousands of years,
but not the vampire fighters. Oh yeah, that's a good expensive No
think about it. Like whenever blades out, they're shooting his silver machine guns.
I'm like, that's like it's like, yes, I'm wondering if it's
like do they kill do vampires stockpiles silver so it can't get out there?
And like do they sometimes do they sometimes kill those vampires and take don't talk
about stockpiling money. I already got in trouble once. Don't please, don't
not money. He's the mineral in the ground. I'm wondering that that could
be a thing. They probably kill some vampires who have silver like deposits and
like, all right, well, now find me vampires with or you're gonna
give blade. But first I want to talk about Bert's silver. But the
the thing is with it. So it's funny because silver wasn't always something that
killed vampire. That's something they added later. So there was always the werewolf
thing and it was like, well, how do you make a cool vampire?
We need to shoot garlic bullets at him. Yeah, so it's like
we need to we need to add something. I think what was the first
movie that what was the first thing that you used silver for vampires? Because
here's the thing, here's the thing. Silver might be part of some vampire
lord. That's a point because there's so many different vampire lords, like like
there are vampire like even in Dracula, like technically he can't move over running
water, which is why he has to get a boat. He can't because
Jesus, he's reversed Jesus. So it could be Yeah, they could have
cherry picked that from some kind of lore. Okay, yeah, well even
like yeah, Daylight didn't even really I think used to kill vampires. That
was something they came up with later. And crosses do sometimes when out sometimes
but not other times. Yeah, they can. They apparently could go in
churches if they're abandoned, because they find a lot of abandoned churches. Vampires.
Yes, yes, you can do whatever you want with vampires. You
can make up your own rules. But Whistler captures a reaper and I like
that. It's like gnawing on his arm to get out of there. Uh.
And then they realized that they actually can't live for too long, like
the virus like breaks down their body weigh too much, except for Nomac,
who was like a carrier. So they do like an autopsy and I actually
really like the autopsy the practical effect much as we're shitting on the CGI,
which, by the way, the speak Oh speaking of Jurassic Park, The
guy who did the CGI in this was Tippet Studios. Phil Tippett worked on
the original Jurassic Park. He was the guy who used to do like like
stop motion and all that Mad God is one of my favorite movies. Yeah.
Ever, but during Jurassic Park, apparently they made fun of him.
They're like, because with the CGI, they're like, dude, you're out
of a job, which is why how that joke ended up in Jurassic Park.
So to adapt, he ended up doing visual effects. And I think
they've gotten since then, but this is still when he was early on,
and I would rather take bad practical effects any day than mid C. But
the autopsy warm. Yeah. But the autopsy with like them ripping them open
and like even like when the organs are still alive was very cool. The
thing was really cool. Yeah, and then they realized the heart is encased
in bone. That was cool because they'd explained why it was harder to to
you know, yeah, stab him. During this, Whistler and Scud start
to bond over making a UV grenade. That's right, the the UV grenade,
the Holy hand Grenade of antiochy Uh. And then at this point Nissa
is calling out Blade for his racism. She's like, hey, I was
born a vampire to make me feel really bad. You guys keep asking me
if I blush bro like one or two times is fine, but like eighty
ninety times, I'm sorry. Are you Blade right there? Yeah, I'm
being Jay Rock from you guys keep calling me DayWalker was what was his name
again? He had a fun Jonathan Blademan. I believe, what's Jonathan Blateman?
Jonathan Blade? Yeah, yeah, I read Blade comics. It's John
Bladerson. He's Jonathan Blademan. He actually teamed up with the Eternals, you
know, Judy at Turns, Eric Brooks. It was unremarkable. Yeah,
that's right, it was Eric Brooks. So yeah, they now we get
to the sewer level and they're hunting during the day. So they're all wearing
the thick leather and the body thing and like Ron Perlman puts his hand leather
and it starts like melting. It's like, wait a minute, back up,
because in the previous film they wore the motorcycle suits and they were fine.
In the previous film, Deacon Frost put a bunch of sun block on
and he was fine for a while. That beat scene, the umbrella and
all that. Yeah, no, he didn't even have an umbrella. It
was a sun block. Oh you're talking about you're talking about the scene.
Okay, so this is this is the scene where they're all in wet suits.
Yeah, fucking wet suit Yeah, in the sewer. But like you
think it, the more padded they are, the more shielded they are from
the sun. But he puts his hand out of starts burning with the glove
on him. Like, how is Deacon Frost table to get away with it?
Like, there's a lot of inconsistencies here. Sewers and movies never have
enough poop. They really don't. They don't, they really don't. That
Ninja Turtle's ruined. What sewers really are? Guys? They lie to you.
Yeah, there's no where's the camera, there's no pizza down there,
there's no trust me. I mean there's pizza, but it's been eaten already.
Yeah, this is probably the biggest disappointment. Donnie in the setup is
cool where the big barbarian guys behind him, and I like that he's hitting
in shadows. Somebody comes to the light. You see he's fully transfer Yeah,
shows fight, you know what That scene reminds me of that reminds me
of The Simpsons when like they owe money where Marjo's money to the mafia,
and then the Asian mafia comes to collect. Oh, the little guy's gonna
do something really cool and then that guy doesn't done anything yet. Imagine having
one of the baddest ass like action coordinators ever just just making cuts. Cut
a scene out. You don't need to see it, it's fine. Can
we get more scenes of like techno dancing and Bloco game? And then at
this point, freaking uh because the one vampire didn't like that he was called
like Buttercup or something, so him and Pearlman are gonna try and kill Whistler
because they don't like him. I guess he blue kissing me. I don't
like that. I don't play that ship. And then the Tumbler Vampire,
the tumble Arena vampire, She's like, oh no, my boyfriend is a
reaper. Now I got to run, and she's like, I gotta get
out of here. Let me open up the manhole. I forgot the sun
is outside. Oh yeah that scene, I'm like, you know, it's
daytime. Yeah, when people panic, you know, And I do like
that the vampires burn red but the reapers burn blue. Oh you know what,
I didn't catch that. Yeah, you know what, that makes a
lot of sense. I too have been so panicked that I can't tell it's
day out. It is. It's hard, it's difficult. The sun is
so small. Yeah, he was fairly fairly notice really She's like, eclipse,
e clips it clips please eclipse. I think there was a total soluter
eclipse that I it's tomorrow. Oh no, I hear ice cream trucks.
It must be night. The reapers actually set a trap for all of them,
and I like, the blade figures out and he's like, oh,
ship, get out of the water. They're all there. But yeah,
he uses the light bomb and he starts counting down. The countdown's pretty cool.
Yeah, eight seven, that's gonna be my New Year's countdown the ten
night and he's getting like the sword, Yeah, he needs a time it
because it's ten seconds for it to blow up. But like, what are
they doing underneath the water? And also, I guess they don't need to
breathe. I guess right, Yeah, I guess not. No, that's
the other thing vampires to breathe either. So then what's the point why I
have lungs When they open it up, it's a good point. I mean,
you see them gasping for air, so they're breathing something. Maybe.
Again, that's the problem with like sci fi vampires, there's a lot of
like, well, that doesn't make It's not like Drago is like a magic
vampire can turn into like dust, like you questioned, it less when it's
magic vampires. But with sci fi vampires, it's like, I have a
lot of questions sci fi vampires. It's always like, hey, guys,
it's vampires. But also their teeth are tiny drills that spin. Yeah.
I was like, okay, well that doesn't really make a lot of sense,
and it's stupid. It's stupid. But I like that the light shoots
out and he slices them all up as they're jumping out of the light.
That's pretty cool. I guess the water could shield them from the light.
This will come back in a second. Oh, and I do like that
Whistler is attracting the reapers like they're kicking his ass and he's like, little
they know, I'm like spraying shit to get these fuckers around here. Yes,
And then we get one of the badass. Wesley snipes lines you umpish
not no, you are fucking with by the way, one of the few
lines he has where he's not answering somebody's questions. Yeah. Also probably the
longest line that he was given. You know what, I bet you.
There's the deleted scene where the reapers are like, who are we fucking with?
And that's what he answered, who are we fucking with? Obviously I
don't know, but I'm gonna ask a blush Yeah again again, by the
way, I do like the scene of Ron Peerlman running away from the reapers
and there's lights and every time the light his head burns a little bit.
Uh, but yeah, he like lights the big light bomb, which like
wipes them all out. And remember they couldn't even survive underneath the water because
they jumped out. Anyway, Nissa survives because she jumps underwater. David Goyer,
she did put plot armor earlier on. I would forgive it if she
came out and was just totally charred, like like Donald log in the first
movie. But no, they're like, no, she's pretty, we can't
do that first. We're not gonna get that girl. And she's not as
like to call it a Ron Perlman Ti n Perman getting burned every three seconds
to right, you brought up earlier row ow ow our and they're about to
say, oh, she should have come out all charged, like Donald Logan
The Tow of Steve. That was a good movie. I like, great
movie. No mac bumps in the Whistler. But he keeps him alive,
and he's like, hey, buddy, I got some information for you.
Blade saves Nissa, he gives her his blood, and then the vampires turned
on him, as expected, of course what she called out earlier. He's
like, oh, yea, they're gonna fuck us the first chance they get.
Like, but love, we're there, might as well learn a bunch
of stuff. This has daddy issues, but thank god because she's into Blade.
Thank god she's the girl with daddy issues who wants to date the opposite
of their dads. Yes, yes, the one the one to be like
I'll show him, yeah, a shiny pokemon. Yeah. But the girls
who want to actually date their dads, because you imagine finding a guy who
looks like that, dude, I mean, like, how many There can't
be that many of them out there that look like Nosperando. I mean,
I mean everybody like in DC kind of does, but like outside of that,
I mean vampire. Yeah, I know what you mean, Tony,
I know exactly what you mean. Okay, fine, Holly, there's probably
some Hollywood elite. That's nothing you ever seen Weinstein now, oh god,
he looks rough. Oh so I feel like we should be talking about the
Brian Singer stuff more and we're not. But that's a different thing. It
was never proven. Okay, yes, sure, okay, never proven.
O. Hey, Homer Simpson, and he's an innocent man when it comes
to murder. He did some other stuff, Homer Simpsons at the best.
If I can't see it's not illegal, that's true. Good point, very
good point, right, the Simpsons. Thats why we closed their eyes when
we broke in here. The Simpsons predicted this break in. That is you
know, that's like a trailer park boys mentality. Oh, if you drag
their lawn furniture to the curve, it counts as trash. What's What's so?
It turns out again total work of fiction. It turns out this virus
was designed in a lab and it got out of hand and they tried to
suppress that information. It turns out Nosperado is Noma's father, which we all
kind of that, Yeah, we all kind of saw that coming. So
yeah, and this is the this is the stupid twist that that twist was
dumb, but this twist is even dumber where it's like, uh oh,
Whistler wasn't the trader, it was Scuds. It's like, yeah, yeah,
we know by the way he got his tattoo on his lip to hide
it. It's like, that's not the worst one, you talk. The
worst one comes when we talk when we watch him talk about Blade through that
there's the there's the worst location of one, and that's not in this movie.
Yeah, but it's like like if I was Blade, I would by
the way Blade like saved him. He apparently Norman ritas he was gonna have
a three way and they turn out the vampires and Blade saved him. Yeah.
Uh but yeah, if I like, he clearly got turned somewhere in
that time, and if I was just like, oh, hey, what's
up, he's got some sod your lip, it's sort did you just get
a tattoo? I feel like there's a tattoo on your lip? Yeah,
Hey, Scott says, you eat a bee go like this, Well,
quick, put it on your dick or your asshole. I don't think Blade
is ever going to look right on the whole. Yeah, or put it
with Ryan Reynolds. Put it in the third one, right above your happy
trail for no reason. That was weird. Well no, it wasn't.
Because he needed Ryan Reynolds trail. Yeah, dude, dude, the mom's
dragging their teenage sons to Blade. Trinity needs something. It worked out for
him, I mean anyway, So yeah, it turns out Scot's the trader
and he takes the bomb off round Pearlman and then like Blade is just like
by the way, I knew it all along and it's not a dud.
It's like, then, what was the whole point of that? Wasn't it
just Silvern? Wait it's Silver Night Trade? Like why does Norman Ritas blow
up like a vampire whose blood exploding? Like an explosion that big that would
blow him up would also damage the room. But it's just him and blows
up and do like a pilot. But it is funny they did like I
knew you were gonna doublecross you, so I doublecross you. Then anyway,
there's a triple cross I'm like, yeah, okay, then didn't like just
blow then you should? Oh you know why he didn't blow it up in
his back of his head. He just wanted to taunt him before he did
it. Just do what it was in his head, like to play with
my food. Yeah yeah, blow up his head and then kill Norman Retis.
This is awesome powers. I have a gun in my room. I'll
go grab it right now. I love that line. Yeah. So yeah,
apparently the the whole Reaper thing. Uh Nosperano, He's just like I
wanted to make another day Walker, but I couldn't figure it out. It's
like, well now we have you, let's drink a lot of your blood.
Prom solved. Problem solved. So they're gonna like completely drain him.
Uh but I do like that whole in the irs trained him, don't you
worry. But I did like that Blade actually did learn something there, so
he turns out their security so Nomad can come in and just start fucking owning
people. Yeah, tax law, he did not learn tax law or he
knew and just just it's more like, you know, will full ignorance.
Well, because they kept telling him, hey, Wesley, you need to
pay your taxes, and he would go nice, yeah, some mother fucus
always state up hill, sir, this is an audit. You're in big
trouble. The audit takes place at a night club, and now now you
plan on paying do you want to do it in installments? A red light,
red light laser going to have the fucking arm, so question. Whistler
goes to Saint Blade and he shoots the familiar through the floor. This happened
in the movie The Jackal. Right, yes, okay, all right,
because I knew, I'm like, I know, this's a Bruce Wills movie.
I know in Diehard he does and Jack Black sid in The Jackal,
and I know and Diehard, Bruce Wills shoots through the floor and kills the
one guy or at the table. But I remember, I'm like the only
other movie I could think of, Like, I think I remember The Jackal.
There's someone coming down the stairs and they just get shot through the floor,
and then Bruce willis like pops out from underneath the stairs, and that
reminds me, I want to watch The Jackal. I haven't watched it.
I haven't watched a Jackal in years. You know what I rewatched recently,
Eraser with Arnold and I'm like, I forgot that you could just make an
action movie that's not part of a property and it being like you watched it,
like, oh that was interesting. You have a big fan of the
Eraser verse. They made a sequel, dude, it came out last Racer
Eraser two rewrite. It's either this year or last year on HBO Max.
I remember it popped up. I'm like, is this and it's just like,
oh, what's it called, like Reborn or something? Eraser Reborn?
You serious? Dominic Sherwood. I don't know who the fuck that is a
bunch of I'm like, hey, you guys, you missed your window on
the road. Okay, no, no, no, hold on? Directed
by John Pogue who wrote The Skulls. That'll be good. He was,
so there is they like Eraser. It's just like, okay, Well,
the window to make a sequel to that was in the directive video sequel Boom
of the early two thousands. You missed that one. So he wrote,
here's the screenplace this guy wrote The Skulls. Yeah, Rollerball, the remake
The Skulls too, ghost Ship and ghost Ship, which I reviewed, which
reviewed I love that movie. That is my co host, Johannah. She
that was her first episode and she loves Haunted Hill thirteen Ghosts goost Ship,
that's the Holy that Hole. I reviewed all three of those except Hanted Hill
got kicked off YouTube. Thanks Warner Brothers. Speaking of Eraser, Blade erased
all those vampires reapers, I did, brought it back, brought it back.
So why are the guards not armed with UV lights, the one thing
that can kill a repe They couldn't afford so many because they used all their
money on silver. It really didn't think ahead, I guess, but it's
just unlatched, so UV light is way cheaper than silver. You think they
would have been util I get it, it hurts them, but I'm like,
why wouldn't you just get human guards and give them the UV like because
they're constantly like trying to shoot and stab Nomac. It's like, you know
that doesn't work. Hit the fucking UV lights on them and get humans.
You have familiars. They could just those big godlb Yeah, those big godlights
that Blade had. It's like, hey, let's just fucking steal those and
put it at the front door. I wait, no, Mac shows,
I'll just blast them. No, So stupid. I'm one of you.
I swear there's the thumbnail. So so Blade he takes a bloodbath and then
it becomes super Blade, which again it's never implied that he has more blood.
It makes him stronger blood. He probably likes blood better than the fake
stuff he's been taking, but it doesn't imply that it makes him stronger.
It's just supposed to like vampires aren't strong because of the amount of blood they
drink. Vampires need blood to live. Yeah, so, well he was
dying, I guess. But he's like wiping people out. And then this
is when wrestling moves starts showing up. He doesn't vertical suplex on a guy,
and then I this is something I would fucking do, but this isn't
like a mainstream movie. He vertical suplex. Then it cuts and he comes
from the bottom of the frame with the cartoon. He whip a sound effect.
He's like. By the way, if you guys are wondering why I
don't usually shoot episodes, it's because I live near a fire station. I
don't know if the mics are picking it up. By the way, when
the uh, when the volunteer firefighters need to be alerted, how do you
think they get alerted with that that siren? Yes, with it? Hold
on, not that one. We have an air raid siren nice that will
go off all times of day to alert the volunteer firefighters. What do you
live Mega City one? I know I need I need to move a few
miles away from here. He lives in sim City two thousand, reticulating.
At least, I'm not where I used to live, down the street which
was a main street, and all the fire stations go right past my apartment.
So I would literally live stream and just stop having to talk for two
minutes and wait for them to be done, and hold a show in the
fires in a fire station. I'll do it there. Look on the bright
side, you don't live under a grate at a rave and really, if
you think about it, that's all we get asked for in these hard times.
You don't want to live in some motherfuckers under a great There are the
worst places to live, like an apartment above a bowlin alley that's below another
Oh my god, you're just saying crime Simpson's you've been space. You've never
never been anyway anyway, He slices round Pearlman in two and this is the
only time that the glasses come up from as he's dissolving. This turns on
her father. She's like, you know what, Dad, you kind of
fucked up and you might screw me over like you did your son that I
didn't fucking know about. And why are you so shiny? Why are you
so shiny? What do you drink specifically that makes you different than? Are
you vampire? And then no Bac shows up and he just straight up kills
him by draining him of his blood, like it cuts like an artery,
and like does that not heal for him? Can you just slice a vampire's
throat? Or is so old it doesn't Well do vampires have blood running through
them? I know they eat it, but I don't know. I don't
know how vampires were stories. But like in the first film, like remember
we were like with Donald Low, like how does he keep surviving? And
I think we were like, oh, maybe he's like a little older and
stronger. But it's like, is that where do you hit like a point
where then it suddenly goes in reverse and then you get weak again? Like
what the fuck is going on here? I was always in the theory,
like at least from some of the old vampires depending on the movie. It's
like vampires do age, but just way slower than like people. That's why,
not that they could die, but like they look, you know,
they start getting shiny. And I always thought what it was was the older
the vampire and the longer they've been feeding, the more like a creature.
They end up looking like yeah, or there's like yeah, it depends on
what kind of or you're an old vampires under a great underneath the rife exactly.
Do you ever see Daybreakers? But Sam Neil and uh ethan fucking amazing
movie. That movie wait, no, no, yeah, Daybreakers was the
one where they had the harvesting blood face. Yes. Daybreakers was really interested,
really good. The problem is it came out during like the Twilight thing.
Yeah yeah, it was so people people were grouping vampires into just love
stories and they slept on it. But the cool thing they had in there
was if you don't feed on like blood, you become more bat like.
Yeah, like whatever the thing that caused it. Or if you start feeding
on vampire blood you end up being more bat like, so you have to
drink human day Breakers fell apart in the third act, but the first part
of the movie is pretty good. It was being fine. No, it
was a good movie. It was just no. It was one of those
ones where it was it was good, but just kind of towards the end
you were like, all right, it's like twenty minutes to Willem Dafoe finding
the cure for vampirism by having a car accident. That was pretty fuch fun.
That was pretty fun. Look, I like Ethan Hawk, but in
like two hours and ten minutes of Ethan Hawk, Hey, resurgence, I
know. I like Ethan Hawk. I love Willem dae. Yeah, I
will fucking watch anything. Yeah, Ethanog had a good year. I liked.
I like the Black Phone, Uh, he was fine. I did
the Black Phone, the Blumhouse Black Phone, Haunted House at I need get
to go. I know I was supposed to go and I just didn't get
I couldn't afford it. Coast. Yeah, so the black the black Phone,
Uh yeah, the Black Phone Haunted House was really cool. But like,
I think I know how to move ends right now. And speaking of
a black phone, that's what Wesley Snipes calls his phone in the movie Blade
gott to bring it back. But real quick. Evan hak is in my
favorite movie of the year, The Northman. Oh so anyway, let me
see. Oh so no Sperado dies and he turns into stone and cracks.
Yes, I thought that was pretty funny. Again, I think like that
might be that's why he's always wet, because from that he drives and stone.
Oh, he's moist clay. For me, I feel like that's like
an Ann Rice thing, because she had the thing like the Queen of the
Damn Not well, the movie version like they're so old that they turn into
marble at one point. I think that's what they were going for. It
didn't quite work. No Mac attacks Nissa for some reason. Uh, and
him and Blade have one final fight, and it's actually pretty awesome. Even
some of the CGI body doubles aren't too bad this scene. Uh. But
then but then No Mac does some elbow drops. Yeah there was there was.
Yeah, there was quite a bit of wrestling, but it comes here.
It becomes a little late in the movie. It's like, oh,
there's a lot of wrestling, and then by the third one, Triple Ah
is in it. They're all in with really oh shit. I do like
when Nomack is on top of him and I guess his arm is broken.
He just throws it up to the camera and you hear like the bones coming
back together and coming back, and then he like punches the shit out of
him. But Blade is able to get the sword right in the side of
the heart where it's weakest, and I do like Nomac just doesn't pull it
out. He's just like, eh, you know what I'm done. Boom.
It's like, well, you were really about being alive and turning people
like a second ago, and you still have time to take the fucking sword
out. No, mad just realized you listen to the grade of a rave
and the run time of this movie is way too long. Now he can
make new Reaper friends, but then they'll just die in a few days.
But I have to. If I have to listen to ten more minutes of
throbbing technol, I'm gonna fucking lose it to Nomad's like, no, man
just at one point looks No mad Woman looks at the camera and he's like,
cameos. I don't know if you can get your hell boy, because
this is getting ridiculous. Yeah, but then yeah, this is getting ridiculous.
But then we have this is just like Hey, I'm dying, I'm
turning. I want to see the sunset before I die. And this is
the first This is the first time I remember seeing this done in a movie
where like there's a sad scene, like there's obviously vampires being killed by sunlight,
but this is like a sad like I just want to see the sunlight
before I die. It's the first time I could think of it. It's
happening true blood in a few things, and even Midnight Mass there's like a
really sad fucking scene, but this is the first one for me. Hey,
wait, he's doing he's doing the whole Hey, I never really show
love for you, but I've always loved you. And she's like, I
don't want to Dutch take me back at s Wait, we have a lab.
Let's go back to the lab. Maybe we can work this out.
It's over now, it's over now. But no, I'm good, I'm
fine. I feel better. I feel better. I feel better. It
was she's holding the man. Is this money python? I'm not dead now,
He's so dead. In a minute, I'm just very badly charred.
I think I'll go for a walk. So she dies, turns into dust,
and then it flashes forward a little bit, sorry real quick, when
I did, I did remember want to think this Also, at the level
which they burn up is so different depending on the vampire. Like someone's just
like and her it's like look like look like a spider man disappearing in uh
in Tony's arms. Yeah yeah, look, so it depends what emotion they're
trying to the scene. So months later, uh, we see that there's
this club and Blade has become a sex worker. I assume it just makes
sense he needs the money that just by coincidence, that guy from earlier is
there, and I know Blade this in my head. It's like, Blade's
like, look, money's tight. I'm gonna go strip for these dudes.
Money tight, and so am I. And I'm gonna strip for these dudes
at the club. It's gonna be my side hustle. But then it turned
out to be that guy, and Blade didn't want to be embarrassed. He's
like, huh, nope, I was always your waiting for you. Hey,
Blade, why you covered him glitter? Don't worry about it. Oh
that's just the glistening dog, all right, it's my time. You smell
like a disgusting amount of Phoenix, Axe Body Spray, Blaine, I'm not
gonna lie to you Blade. That wig over there looks like from the movie
Tu Wang Fu Is anything you want to tell us? Nope, I gotta
kill you sex worker. Someone walks up to Blaine and goes, hey,
do you blush A come on that specifically why I stop being a vampire?
So yeah, that guy, dude, and uh yeah that was that was
Blade too. I enjoy it. There are some weird logical things that make
no sense, I think so gilbridel Dor had no input writing this. No,
it's just directing, and I think even he has issues with some of
the script and whatnot, because after this he writes like pretty much everything he's
involved with his anthology series is pretty good on Netflix thick yep, every anthology
thing is hit or mass. Yeah, that's except the movie Creep Show,
which is solid all the way through and creep Show too, No, not
creep Show tophow it has one good bit and everything else Creepshow to no great
show great anyway. Anyway, Daddy and Daddy are fighting. So while I
pull up Harry Knowle's Blade to review, let me know what are your final
thoughts on Blade two? It is still the best Blade movie out of the
three. It's definitely does not as cool as I remember, But then again,
you know, there's some stuff that in Age that did Age that great.
But when I watch it again, if it's on, of course I
watched it again. It was Yeah, why wouldn't you What do you think,
Pessy, I thought it was. I mean, definitely doesn't hold up
like it used to. Definitely a little too long. But but I get
it. You know, back back then, back then movies, movies could
be a little longer. They did that, they did that more. But
at the end of it all, I was really wasted when I watched it,
and I think I would have to be that level of wasted to watch
it again. It's a good idea to be inebriated when you watch Blade movies.
It makes the experience way better. Don't watch it at one am after
you've been filming in a cold, unfinished building. That's what I did last
night, and I want to watch the end of it this morning. Jesus,
Yeah, you don't watch it after taking mushrooms. Towards the end,
they got really weird. Now, there was a point where he was just
yelling notes at me now, Harry Knowles from an a cool news and by
the way, I should have no problem reading this because Harry Noles is a
beloved icon who has had a less celebrities on his show and has been in
a list movies. I sure has. But yeah, here is a You
have to go to Legacy dot a it cole dot com to look up his
Blade two review from March seventeen, two thousand and two. This is famously
one of the most cringiest you ready ready, I'm excited. Okay, So,
guys, we read the Harry Knowles thing and I realized there's no way
this video will get monetized by leave it in, so I'm putting it on
Patreon. Have fun listening to it on Patreon and watching their reactions. That's
the worst thing I've ever heard someone read. Worst thing I've ever heard a
grown man saying, you've never even heard of that review before? Oh okay,
anyway, now that we're all in a great mood, uh, where
can we find you? Guys? I don't want to be around anymore,
hanging by my neck from a rafter bessy, Where can we find you?
You can find me Rumble dot com slash Midnight Rift Party also Midnight Rift Party
locals dot com. We do like late night rifts. We make fun of
old VHS stuff. I just got a whole bunch of tapes in a VCR,
so we've been doing some crazy shit. If you want to know when
the shows are on, either check out the locals or follow me on Twitter
at Joyesty. Okay, how about you, what shows do you do doing
anyone? Now that you guys have to watch that Patreon thing, you have
no idea what he put a suit? What did I? I mean,
Rumble dot com, Daywave, go start for Daywave and the Revenge of the
Cysts. Okay, those are those are? I am such a good mood
when I got here. And if WI you hear what he said, I
I mean you could just look it up, but I think you should pay
two dollars. No, no, no, listen and see the reaction.
No no, no, no, no, no. That is is he
did. He nailed it. He delivered it in the in the soothing erotic
million was meant to be delivered. So that is Blade to Cruise Control.
I don't feel like I keep putting to say Cruise Control, and I don't
know why every third movie. I always say Blade, Blade three, Rides
of the Machines, Blade two, the Search for Tokyo Cruise Control. Anyway,
Uh that was it? Please like share subscribe? Uh? Well,
I would say thank you guys up, but I didn't invite you. We're
more than even now after that. But all if anything, you owe me
an apology. Now, listen, guys, if we talk about Blade three,
just just call me ahead of time. We can do it at the
store. We can have fun. You don't have to break in. Okay,
we'll see okay, or we could just not leave. No, you
definitely need to leave. I'll start, I'll bad. Ain't it cool?
Okay? I saw Blade. We gotta tell us, we gotta go and
boo talking about tapes? Did you guys break in again? Break in?
If we never left? We've been sleep every time you leave. We we
come out of the attic. There's there's no addicts in this building. Well,
well, then then your upstairs neighbor is very angry at us. I'm
on the top floor, I mean hanging out of the roof of my house.
I thought you upstairs neighbors were pigeons. He's been on the roof me.
I don't know if you've noticed, Tony, but your whole kitchen floor
is a great I've been actually living under it, and we've been feeding off
of your leavings. Yeah, let me drop toast crumbs. We're feeding off
of them, a lot of toast crumbs and pasta, lots of spaghetti,
lot of spaghetti. The weird part was the amount of tears, So a
lot of tears. You've been squatting in and around my building to find squatting,
you've defined building. You've been occupying my building, m h and find
my and you waited for me to wake up, and you set up the
microphones ahead of time, set up cameras, yes, uh huh in my
kitchen to talk about Blade Trinity. If it makes you feel better, we
use your credit card for the cameras. Also, don't just leave your credit
card on your kitchen counter and you we can grab it. That squatting in
your house, guys, you know I'm like a famous important YouTuber. Heh,
Yeah, I had this nice set. I mean store. It's a
real store. It's a very real store. And you're gonna make me talk
about a movie in my goddamn kitchen. Anybody who's a movie review when their
kitchen's obviously an amateur Well, I guess that's what we're doing. It's amateur
hour here, and yes, yes, amaateur hour. You just comp it
all over my line. Speaking of amateurs. David Escoria probably wasn't ready to
direct this feature film a Blade Trinity, so we didn't really take a lot
of notes. But you know, a while back, we did do a
commentary track for this and it's available now on Patreon, and I guess you
guys were so excited you wanted to come back and talk more about Blade Trinity,
so I guess we will. That was one of the worst movies I've
ever seen in my life. I was one of that was probably, Yeah,
one of the worst movies. I have you told me watching it multiple
times? Yeah, on mute, just the just albus excuse me, Jessica
Bils pain something to you. It was on DVD at the time, but
it was a VHS. Those things will be worn out. Okay. When
she's pulling back on that boat, that's the redeeming thing of that movie.
Jessica Biel looks amazing, very fit. Yes, everyone on Seventh Heaven is
amazing and did nothing wrong. Oh, no, that was a show.
That was what happened. That was a show of virtue. What happened.
I'm gonna look it up now, you know, you know, look up
seven Dad, Dad, Heaven. Let's see it is easy. Eric Cameron
has revealed to me father of numerous children about you're gonna want to Oh no,
there were children on this show. Yeah, oh no. Wow,
this really puts a damper on this whole Blake Trinity review. Yeah, yeah,
I don't think I can watch seventh seven again rather than Blake. I
would rather watch seventh even I don't know watch You said you didn't see Jurassic
World, Dominion, the third one whatever? The third one is okay,
Well, they they had they brought Dodson back from the first movie, but
they had to get a new actor. Don't look up. Why don't look
up why they had to get a new actor. Anyway, Blade Trinity,
Now, I remember when this movie was coming out. I loved Blade and
Blade two, real hype on it. I remember they were saying Triple h
is gonna be in a Blade movie. He's gonna be in a comic book
movie. It's gonna be a big thing. And Blade's back, and now
he's got a team of young sexy people helping him out, and I'm like,
all right, sounds good. I'm in. And then I remember I
started seeing like the advertisements for it, like the first the promotional pictures.
I'm like, this doesn't look as good. And then I saw the trailer.
I'm like, this looks like shit. Yeah. And then the other
thing is you brought up the triple H thame. But we noticed when we
were watching it it's like he's barely in the movie, barely, Like he
has a couple things, and yeah, maybe a fight in the three wrestling
moves, but I've I mean outside of that, you know, and even
Parker Post he's on that much. It's mostly just falling around as these young
gohards. Yeah, and I didn't see the theaters, which isn't rare for
the time. I didn't see everything in the theaters back then, but if
it was like a superhero movie, I usually made a point to see it,
or at least when it came out right on video. Like I didn't
get to see X Men two in theaters, but I made sure to get
it right on video. Blade Caught three right, the good one. Yes,
I saw that in theaters so perfect. Oh, Blade Trinity I didn't
see until VHS like two or three years after it came out. Now,
this is the one they crossed over with Trinity from the Matrix, right,
No, no it didn't. I don't know why it's Is it Trinity because
it's the three of them, but there's more than three of them. I
think it's Trinity because is the third one. But I mean, okay,
so the thing is, and here's why it failed. I figured it out.
Okay, this is easy. Blade Trinity failed because count the number of
rave scenes in the first one and the second one. There are no rave
scenes in Blaze. Zero, not even light that not what No, no
dancing. It's okay, dude, there wasn't even a scene. There wasn't
even they could have at least they could have at least had a scene.
The main bad guy was Dracula. They couldn't have had a scene and ballroom
dances with a woman las do? And also, don't you have to like
invite Dracula in Like I don't think he could just like go wherever he wants.
That's the first Dracula. He's a little entitled. Okay, Yeah,
so that's that's a problem here. Sorry, I'm pulling up the plot of
the film because I forgot to take no. See, all Draculas are communists
because they don't need to be invited because they own everything, exact time.
Lots of problem. So, like I said, Blade comes from the comic
Tomb of Dracula. But then the first movie does the whole like, forget
everything you know about vampires. All the movies are bullshit, and it's like
and then the second one leans heavy into like their sci fi vampires and now
it's and now it's literally Dracula's here. The first one. The third one
is like, remember everything you know about vampire. Remember it's all coming back.
First one was forget everything you know about vampires. The second one was
remember everything you know about vampire. Remember no, remember everything you forgot about
forgot about vampires. And the third one is forget everything you know about a
good film. So, yeah, David Goyer is writing and directing this time.
And you could tell that Wesley Snipes was very happy about that. You
yeah happy. Famously, some other director was oh Oliver Hirschbiegel was in talks
to direct the film. The fuck is that he ended up directing a different
film that spawned many many, many, many many many many re edits and
memes. Can you film, No, it's the guy who did Downfall.
Really, if you don't know what Downfall is, if you've ever seen a
clip of Hitler screaming and yelling out his staff, that's re subtitled that is
from the movie Downfall. So he chose to do Downfall instead of Blade Trinity.
Downfall did have a bigger impact than Blade Trinity and better staying power.
God, those those Downfall memes went on for a while. They still they're
still coming in, they still do them. He also made the movie Das
Experiment okay, which is which is German for the Experiment. Yes, so
I guess Goyer took over and yeah, this movie is famous, like uh
for Wesley Snipes just because wow, look we when we watch the younger as
him thing. I didn't really pick of that up on because it's just it's
a it's a Blade movie. Who cares? But really, now knowing going
into it the whole background, it is completely noticeable that even on the best
those are the best takes in the movie. He did not want to be
there. He didn't He didn't want to phone it in. He wanted to
do anything he wanted off and we were talking about in the previous film,
they apparently used stand ins for him because he was busy to another movies and
he probably saw how effective that was. Like, like I said, Steven
Stigald, it like, yeah, just as many standards as possible, Steven
Saggald. Now, even as people just dub his voiceover, I'm surprised they
didn't do that. Yeah, I mean that's the next that's the next step.
And it sucks because I like Wesley Snipes, Like he's not a guy
that I dislike or anything, but Wesley Snipes is too arrogant for well,
we'll get the tax thing, but he's too arrogant for his own good.
Right. It's like, look, man, you're good and I like you,
but not enough to be this big of an ass. Yeah. Yeah,
It's kind of like Gunner Hanson, the dude who plays No not gut
her Hands, who's the other who's the Kane Hodder, the guy who plays
the guy who plays Jason in the newer movies, is apparently a fucking dick.
No. Kane Otter did seventy eight. Derek Mehers was the last guy
who played Okay, but I heard Kane Howter is kind of an eye I've
heard I couldn't be wrong. It's like it's one of those things where it's
like what you say. Gunnar Hanson is one of the he was leather face
Gunnar Hanson's He was one of the nicest people he ever met. I actually
saw a movie with him recently. No, sorry, gott to finish your
thought. I had a goyer thought that he just came to my head because
you mentioned it, and my goyer thought was I kind of feel bad for
him because I'm not. Obviously there's a lot of decisions he made that were
in his control. But I kind of feel like it really sucks. As
you're first director. You know, you're excited and you're gonna do it,
and then you have you have to work with somebody who is just dragging their
feet. Yeah, and so I'm not saying that if Wesley Snipes didn't phone
it in, the movie would have been better, But I don't know how
it could have been worse. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot that's bad
in here, and it's not just having to deal with Wesley's bullshit, because
there are scenes that are completely devoid of Wesley's snipes, and they're not very
good. No, Goyer is very hit or miss as a writer and a
director. He I mean, I mean you've worked with him, you would
know. I did work with him on The Dark Knight Rises. But even
those late, those two later ones, I think the Nolans are more involved
with the actual script. I think he just helped develop the story. Uh.
He's good at like coming up with like concepts and working with other writers,
but he's very hit or miss on his own, especially directing, and
of course this is one of them. Uh yeah. So, like I
said, this is about Dracula, and they got the the classic film star
Dominic percelly. What's his name, don't don't dead name him? Oh Drake,
Sorry, not Dracula, thank you. Sure. And honestly, I
think the reason for that Drake thing is because they thought it would be cooler.
They thought, oh Drake young and hip Dracula. That's what that's that's
your grandpa's vampire. Did not pay for product placement. There are a lot
of Apple products, there was a lot of Maybe it was one of those
if they did it, they did it. They would come kind of thing.
If they made the equipment available and included the option to buy it.
It's sixty percent reduction. Wait, didn't even get it for free, No,
they had to. So they were, Oh my god, they were
gonna give Apple free plugs on their stuff if they were just given him just
they won't even ask for money, Just give me free stuff and like,
we'll give you a discount. Actually, Scott was almost in this. She
was some Birds of Prey, the TV show from the early two thousands,
and it says here Goyer was highly skeptical of having Triple H in the movie,
but his comedic timing and self deprecation he admired that off screen was all
that. Off screen, here's the weirdest thing. From everything I've heard,
Triple H is famously easy to work with, that acting stuff, Like,
he's actually a nice guy, so I could see him winning him over.
I think what Goyer's pointing out is he'd rather be with a nice guy who's
a bad actor than be with that a mediocre actor that's a dick. They
might have cut a lot of his stuff here, because it's saying they expanded
his role. Well maybe he was supposed to die. No, you know
what, happened. He was probably supposed to die in the beginning when she
shot him with the arrow, not being serious. But then they know,
we'll just say in a silver arrow because they wanted to use some way,
and also probably because they need to fill more time, because because Wesley was
sitting in his trailer smoking weed and not wanted to do the movie and they
were, and they were probably also just like, all right, look,
we spent a lot of money on those silver teeth. We really got to
show them that's silver teeth or every shot him going and it's cool. But
I don't get why there's silver teeth. Wouldn't that hurt him, like because
he's a pimp. No, but that's a really good point. He would
be in pain all the time, right, Did they specifically say it with
silver? I guess they could just be metal, But that's the worst though.
That's so weird. Maybe they're platinum, Okay, that could be that's
kind of cool. Yeah, chrome chrome teeth. Maybe they're titanium. Oh
you know, animantium teeth. It is there we go. So yeah,
a lot of there was a lot of issues behind the scenes with this film.
It's kind of a mess. They're working in uh, like Hannibal King
and like I think the Nightstalkers they're called uh because they were Cannibal Burs.
What did I say, Hannibal Burd No, I said I'd rather have Hannibal
Burs Hey, blady, man, what are we going to do now?
Man? Oh? That's shitty. So they wanted to set off a spinoff
called the night Stalkers. Yeah, I actually that. I didn't know going
into that that that was the whole plan was to have. Okay, so
they were going to just do another other movies with That's why again, why
why we look at the something I guess we haven't mentioned in the review,
but it's like how stacked the cast is, because if you look the look
at the cast on paper today, you'd be like, that's a pretty good
cast. You know, you've Ryan Reynolds, you have Jessica Biel, you
have a propos Parker Posey, you have what's his the guy that was the
dad on Dexter, James James James Gown, what's her face from Margin is
The New Black? I'm Bad? Natasha Leone. Yeah. So and you
keep going down the list and you're like, wow, this is kind of
stacked like this is a this is a stack cast. But I think that's
that's the reason why it has to because they figured, look, we need
people that could carry a movie after Snipes is gone. And you know what
they were wrong about on that, Ryan Reynold guy's name. One successful rray
to a movie that Ryan Reynold guy has ever made. I can't think of
any Van Wilder. Okay, okay, you know what, I apologize.
I think I saw a movie where he was in a box the whole time.
I remember that Buried. Yeah. And then there was the movie where
he owned a pizza shop. Yes, I remember that. Other than that,
he doesn't really ring any bells for me. Sleven, lucky number sleven?
What's he? The guy that was Josh Hart? No, no,
no, hold on, Ryan Reynolds wasn't lucky? Wait no, what's the
one with the with the with the heisting and the cards and the and they're
shooting at each other and I, no, no, no, this isn't
not letting. This is the best ever was when I tell you what it
is. Hold On, don't look at the camera, don't look at the
k don't don't do it. Bessy. While he's looking for that. Do
you like my kitchen washer dryer? Oh? Yeah, I love it.
It's it's Samsung, right. Does it play a little song when it's ready?
It does? Now. By the way, Samsung did not sponsor this
show, but they did get in the washer for sixty place. They said
we're gonna get you washer and dryer, and I was like, where am
I gonna put it? They're like, I don't know you're a kitchen uh
red? Notice? No, keep going before six Underground, Hitman's Bodyguard.
You know what, I give up? Just pray there is a movie Lantern.
I just remember what about the change up when him and Jason bodies?
What about the one he was just friends when he was fat? In the
fat right? Now? Yeah, you can never make that today. No,
speaking of make shell, we need to cancel Jack Black for making shallow.
Cancel Jack hashtag cancel Jack Black. No, no, you have to
cancel Gwyneth Paltrow because she was in the fat suits. She was Gwyneth Patrick
should be canceled for her vagina candles, not for anything else. For her
vagina period. She seems it. Listen here goop, Okay, anyway,
I apologize David Escort's wonderful film. Blake. Yes, yes, I guess
we'll just go through the movie. I'm excited. So a bunch of vampires
land in Syria at a digital pyramid where I guess they realize right as they
do, and then they flick off the sun. Don't forget that they flick
off. Yeah, I think is the one that's like, fuck you Sun.
It's like, look at the sun. Okay, that's weird. Okay,
I don't think that's something the sun had anything to do with you.
It's an unfortunate thing, like you know, the sun can kill humans too
slower. But so they're investigating this tomb, and something I want to point
out very quickly is like you could have done it at night time. No
one made you go during the day. You could have landed in Syria at
night so you wouldn't have to wear all that protection. Yeah, because once
they pull the rock through underground, so it doesn't matter what time it is,
but they had to have the sun up to have that one scene later.
Yeah, Yeah, it was once they pulled the very specific rock that
they knew where they knew exactly, like like like pulling like a like a
you know, like a little needle out of like a lego. My favorite
is the monster Dracula comes out, but it's we find out that that isn't
his monster form, that's his scary armor that looks like a monster. But
he also turns into a monster later on. There's a lot of confusing things
with Dracula in terms of what hurts him because they're all over the place,
like they don't they don't even explicitly tell you the rules of things. I
understand vampires are different, but they never explicitly tell you the rules of this
Dracula. Yeah, they never really there's no walks out in the sun at
one point, so there's no like the Reapers where they're learning their weaknesses as
they go. They never they're like, hey, this thing might kill him.
It's like, are there any other options? Like, no, this
thing might I don't think, so we don't have time to figure it out.
We have too many characters in this movie we got to explore so they
can be in all those spinoffs that never happened. Blind Justice, if she
would have survived, the blind girl, that would have been her thing would
have been blind. She hunts vampire, right, Yeah, so yeah,
we get to see Blade our boy Blade hanging out with a whistler, still
going around, Patton Oswald spin off If He just stayed alive, getting Away
with It, Marvel Presents getting Away with It. That's a good one.
Catch me if you can. I don't understand those jokes. I don't me
neither. I don't get it either. Not funny. Those jokes didn't make
sense. They told me. I don't know what they're referencing. And catch
me if you can. Was a really good Tom Hanks movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Let's get into it. So Leonardo DiCaprio, he he he runs away
and Tommy has to chase him. This movie sounds great. Can we can
we talk about that instead of By the way, look at him now,
he's just like an evil Sith lord tormenting us with this a Jedi robe,
thank you very much. Yeah, you know who else was the Jedi for
a little while, that's true. No, he'll invert it to the sith
when he reads us the fucking Harry Knowles review. There is a Harry I'll
never forgive you for that. I hope everyone went to Patreon and watched me
reading the Harry Knowles review and does you guys watch a lot of cringe like
every day, Yes, and then that should that should be the testament to
how bad that is, because yes, we cover locals and stuff, but
they're just dumb, crazy people. This guy is somehow respected in the film
universe, and it's friends with really famous people. So seeing somebody like that
do it is what makes it bad. Like it's some stupid idiots like Calm
and ninger lickor whatever. Fine, but watching this guy seriously talk about and
it's not even that he talked about it. You gotta watch the Patreon thing.
It's how much he didn't stop at one point to he goes four more
paragraphs to go. How is that possible? It's relentlessly what Harry Knowles was
right place, right time. He was big in the internet reviews when they
were taking off, like the written one, right place, right time.
Harry Noles tries to start. Now he'd be like one of those guys that
are like, I can't believe that superheroes black. Now he'd be one of
those guys. Obviously, you should check out Harry Noles, like review show
he did a few years like years ago, Oh I am now, I
am now He ain't a cool show. It was so well produced and shot
and had like big stars on it. But the mistake they made was Harry
Knowles was the host and he sucked. He could not carry a conversation.
Yeah, butt liquor butt Licker of the Week award on the show. It's
all weird stuff like that. Royce, please stop talking about Harry Knowles and
his plate to reveal I gotta focus on it. You could only get so
hard. So Blade is tracked down some vampires and then he kills one of
them. But it's not a vampire. It's some guy, a familiar,
familiar, and you can tell because he took his fake party city teeth out
of his yes, and then it cuts to what's her face? Parker Posy
with a freaking Panasonic HBX filming the whole thing like that, which also upside
of the movie. Parker Posy, hot goth mommy in this love the look.
Honestly, I will say that in terms of in terms of the people
in the movie that did well her if you isolate her from the rest of
the bad movie, she was pretty good in general. I liked her looks.
She could tell she was delivering her lines. Soho, she meant it.
She wasn't phoning it in like her teens were. Ryan Reynald were really
good. So I always like Parker Posy. But even everything she said,
she always tries at least Yeah, for this, there's like a version that
could have happened where she is the main bad guy. Maybe that should have
been the twist and Dracula is just like a monster thing that she's using.
But no, it's just like she's the main bad guy. And then it's
like no, now it's Dracula, or she has you could have easily had,
like you could have easily had, like she had some sort of amulet
that could control him and she was the power behind that. Actually, God,
we just wrote a We just wrote a better Blame Trinity movie. Sorry,
Royce, we didn't. We actually just wrote a woke movie. No,
no, no, the women aren't allowed to be heroes, no villains.
You know. The movie that the fans these days want is it's just
Dracula and just him. Uh and he does everything. It's Stracula and he's
on Reddit the entire day. Hear me out Blade Trinity remake, all right,
Blade Melissa McCarthy Dracula Melissam McCarthy hear me out, hear me out.
Whistler, Melissa McCarthy, all right, and then Ryan Reynolds character, hold
on, I'm gonna do a little twist here. Okay, I don't know
it's gonna be. I'm really gonna be shocked. Kate McKinnon, whoa,
I love it. This is great, guys, we made a better movie
directed by Kevin No, no, no, Kevin, Kevin Federline Ken take
that. Take that? Hey see that class ceiling? Take that? Where
would they trust him with that franchise? What were they thinking of? What
would they trust Gore with this? You know, it's funny trying for Triple
H to think of the other Ghostbusters actress, not Leslie Jones. I'm like,
who's the other one? I'm like, I was fucking Christian Wig.
How did they forget the most popular? Because it was bad? You know
what? I never reviewed the movie, but the lovely ladies on my show
have checked that out. Anyway. He also hated it, like, okay,
good. How many women were on that show? Four women? They
all fucking oh oh? And then the fifth one had a cameo and I
did the commentary track with her and she also so the five main women on
the show all hate that. But us guys, But us guys are were
us guys. We want more women in this up. We want you hear
me out. We want as more women as possible. You got you people
have us all messed up, regardless of whatever both sides have. Of these
stupid people yelling at you the whole time. You know what I want,
Give me a good character, write them well, give me a story.
I really don't care what they are. And we talked about that before with
Parker Posey and Lost in Space. I'm like that was a dramatic She was
great. She was greater than actually reimagining of the character, and it worked
anyway. Anyway, she sets up Blade, uh, and the thing is
like Blade doesn't feel bad or anything that he killed a human. He's mad
that he got caught well, because it's implied that he's killed familiars before.
Why would he be much like dodging taxes, He's not. He gets back
to the base and the bass ends up getting attacked and Whistler dies. They
kill Whistler. I mean, I mean good him. I would have thanked
him to get me O. Thank god. I don't. I mean,
the character shows up later obviously not not him, but like you know,
the actor. Yeah. But the problem is is that this is the third
time now that we're using whistlers as as the as the thing. Like,
you know, after watching all three especially, you're like, Okay, Whistler,
we got it, we got it. Hey, how come we if
he's so useful, how come he always gets caught in trouble and killed?
Like, I know, it's bullshit. It'd be like if Alfred was dying
in every Batman movie, He's like, Okay, give me one fucking movie
where he's not. Well, excuse me. McGregor, Serison, that was
very serious, especially if you have phase four, Sir. I actually do
love that the CW shows brought the McGregor yes, which is hilarious. That
was the fun. That was a fun, wicked night. I'm like,
really, McGregor, Centrom, Okay, dude. If Alfred was dying in
every single Batman movie I saw, and I was in charge of writing the
next one, I would literally have a scene where Batman goes, oh for
just going to light Alfred. So this is two thousand and four, so
Goyer is also writing the next Batman, yes this time. Yeah, and
we were wondering, like, he has a blademobile that does things. Now,
yeah, so Blade always had a blademobile. He had a nice car,
but this they give him like a car scene, but it has gadget
gadgets. Yeah. Yeah, Well we were joking about it when we were
watching it. We were saying, like, oh, so basically, here's
what's happening. He knows Batman's coming. He's like, I want to I
want to bat cave, and I want a batmobile, and I also want
to stand on legs and ship. Yeah all right, man, whatever,
and I also want my double to do all those things. I said,
Well, I go smoke weed in my trailer. Also I need more weed.
Also, make sure you pay me in envelopes for the cash. I
have a whole thing I'm doing. So capture Blade. The police bring in
Blade, James remar and which again we brought up Blade couldn't be taken down
by legions of vampires, and all it took was like the police. Yeah,
like the regular police. And by the way, I don't want to
hear like, well he didn't want to kill him killed like thirteen cops.
Oh yeah, So when the scene started, We're like, oh, I
guess he doesn't kill humans. Whistler just bah like a bunch of like,
oh, never mind, we do kill humans. So then this familiar thing
again, like you said he just got caught, Yeah, he just got
caught. Yep. But he is being interrogated by familiars, which I think
James Remar doesn't know about it. And for those of you that don't know,
familiar is Italian for family, thank you, that's that's familia. I
let the real Italian tell you how loney, you're from Philly. I am
officially a Jersey native now that I've been there for about what twelve hours hours?
It's me and me, my mom, my dad. The familiar you're
toal you're Sicilian doesn't cowt only because they say so somebody watched True Romance.
I got that scene on repeat up here. So they bring Blade in and
they're drugging him to like question him, I guess, and also something else
he gets struggle really easily, like well, they give him a lot of
extra but either drugs work on him or they don't. There's this weird middle
ground there. Yeah, yeah, it is bizarre. And then like Parker
Posey shows up, so basically the police let them know that they have the
vampire there or the day walker there, so they're there to like, you
know, I guess, get his blood. They always want his blood for
some shit. But he gets saved by the nightstalkers, like they throw the
vampire through the two way mirror and then Ryan Reynolds comes in with the hello,
my name as fuck you eat ladies. Also, vampires have reflections.
We learned that the Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's actually I didn't pick
up Ye. They have reflections, but do they ever stop and reflect?
No? Yeah? Like, why am I in this movie? Why am
I here? Why am I not? Where are the raves? Why am
I not glistening? Is there something wrong with me? Zero glistening in this
really so so Blade gets saved by the Nightstalkers, which is a gritty saved
by the bow reboot on Peacock, which, by the way, what did
you think of as a CGI double jumping out of the window. I have
a sword. I don't know how the third one the C is worse th
in the first one. Yeah, the CGI keeps getting worse than these things,
guys, not better. You would think they'd be a little bit better
now. And by the way, we were talking about it. So the
cops are there in front of a police station where these people have guns.
They're coming out, and they take a long time to shoot at them,
like they had to wait for the other guy to show up in the truck
and pick him up. They let him, They let them go into the
truck before they start like shooting out. You're forgetting they're jumping out the window.
No, I did say that guy of him jumping out the walldow.
Okay, so when he jumps out the window, the CGI is bad.
Fine, But then number one, why not take the elevator? There was
no need to do that. No. Number two, that's to the cool
line in that scene when he lands is forgot my sword less line. If
you watch the Blade two one, which was probably amazing and that's why you're
here. Yeah, if you watch a Blade two review, we mentioned how
few lines he had. He has less lines than this hash to I know,
because there's a bigger cast and the new Nightstalkers yeah, or Blade Boys
as we call them. Oh no, Blade Boys version two point zero and
uh sorry, blade they and them because there's both of there's there's there's both
of them. It's Blade Boys with the Z, but the Z is the
number two. Blade people Okay people, blade people. Okay, so these
Blade people this time as good as Blade Boys people. But so so obviously
he we already know he didn't want to be there, So obviously David Price,
like, give him his a little line, little lines as possible.
We'll do most of this stuff again. The one thing that you guys are
gonna notice, it's not all the time, but from Blade one to this
one, all he does is answer questions pretty much. That's Blade's thing.
Yeah, and what Ryan Reynolds does is joke, non holy fuck stuff.
Bro, get one one line out without without a singer. Bro, I'm
watching watching I sworart of got. If someone super cut together all of Ryan
reynolds lines and I have to sit and watch that, I would feel like
I am being held at knife point in a corner while a comedian does his
tight five at me. Well, apparently, like so, Lesley Snipes didn't
want to be in scenes with Ryan Reynolds. We noticed it's great green he
would like he did a couple scenes with him and like it want not like
in the same shot, but then he would do his close ups, he
would just leave. But Ryan Reynolds was ad libbing a lot, apparently.
So that's why, like he's telling jokes and it looks like Blade isn't amuse.
It's because Wesley Snipes didn't hear any of that, Tony. It's like
a marathon Man situation. You have Dustin Hoffman doing his method acting, and
then you have Thesby and Laurence Olivia. I go, no, what he's
that's exactly what's happening here. Yeah, and Wesley Snipes is riding his lines
on baby's diapers like Marlon Brando, Oh, that's right in the guard.
Yeah. So we meet Abigail Whistler, Whistler's daughter that he didn't know about.
We had no clue she was around. No, No, I mean
we I think we knew his family was killed. And she's like, I
came later he had sex out of wedlock, and I'm like, so he
didn't bother you because of that. It's weird that he's like, Blade's like,
you're like a father to me. And then Whistler was like, I
found I had a daughter and I told her to get out, Like all
right, well, hell you. She wasn't a boy. Yeah, maybe
it's because he wanted to protect protect her from his life. The life that
he lived is the only thing I can think of. And she like,
she doesn't, but she ended up being in that life anyway. No,
no, obviously that's look, that's because it was written. So okay,
listen, it's a little weird that Abigail's Tony. Have you heard the movie
Have you heard the blockbuster film Hamlet? Yes? I have? Okay,
have you seen Hamlet too? I have very funny there's not related. I
just wanted to bring that up. Watch it, Cogan is I say,
it's it's a little weird that Abigail is just like my father wanted nothing to
do with me. But you know, he was nice to other kids like
you, Blade, so he was a good guy. Like okay, thanks,
Yeah, I mean cool, it's weird. That's weird to like shot
on your parent and praise him at the same time. That's weird. I
wouldn't do anything. We want to put out a video on Twitter doing that.
It's very awkward. And Harry Knowles is like, oh man, so
hot, she should do her arms so hard. I can't. He hasn't
Blade true to the review. I know, no, he wouldn't say.
He wouldn't say her arms, he would go, you would go. Ryan
Reynolds is so whole hilarious. Every quip tickled my nutsack like an expensive hooker.
And you're like, come on, man, guys, watch the watch
the paper. It's worth the game. Pay for one month, even if
you only pay for one if you want to watch Ustin, if you want
to watch us in pain. Well, this man says probably the worst things
I've ever heard uttered out of a human's mouth, especially in context of who's
the person saying yeah, yeah, So the vampire's plan is to use Dracula
to get Basically, it's the plan from the last movie. Hey, we're
gonna figure out a way to get rid of all of our weaknesses. Oh
and then we and we came up with it. We came up with some
sort of virus thing that does it. These movies are copy paste, man,
if we really break it down, the thing is this one is like
this, this movie felt shorter. I don't know if it's shorter, but
this was shorter. It's not. Didn't it feel shorter though? One hundred
and thirteen minutes? It says yeah, Blade two. Blade two is an
hour fifty nine. Blade three is two hours in like four minutes. Oh
god, it was longer. Okay, I guess it felt shorter because the
least to me only because nothing happened for most of the movie. A lot
of it was like a lot of it was like training month. Most of
it was training montages. And then you know, it was a bad dad.
It was a good dad. My blind kid and my mind blind and
my kid's gone. I'm like, all right, yeah. And by the
way, that's the problem. You have these casts that are so big,
is it? I felt no emotional attachment. Too many cooks too well when
she lost your kid? That in a movie done correctly, that could have
been something like, oh man, they do one scene of them together,
but it's not enough to really build up that bond. Did you ever see
Bullet Train? Did you see Bullet Train that came out? I did it,
Okay. People gave it a lot of shit because it's one of those
movies where it is just all over the place, there's tons of characters or
whatever. Right, But if you when I watch it when I got from
it, is it's kind of one of those movies where you you can tell
which characters are important, and then the ones that aren't quickly get dis they
dispatched so you'll learn their backstory quick. But then they get dispatched in some
manner that's still memorable but good. But I don't you know, this did
not do that properly at all. But we get to know a lot of
out Drake he gets he feeds on just women apparently. I'm gonna call Himdrake
Youla from No. One Dracula. I'm gonna call him the deep Vamp.
Wow. First he has the girdle and let me tell you, let me
tell you that is a nice girl. And then and then he and then
after he feeds and all the people in the pit and he like turns back
into a human. He's wearing the deep the deep v there chest out and
then he walks around town and it looks like a commercial for like perfume or
something or some kind of commercial. Oh yeah, Like they do this a
lot in the movie. But this is where he's like he's walking normal speed
and everyone's going real thing. It looks like the opening credits to a sexy
CW vampire. Yes, with the sky moving really gas and him moving slow
and aw. Yeah, but they called something like CW presents Drake's Trial.
Uh. He goes to like a hot topic or something. Yeah, and
there's all there's dragged kid. You'll uh no, not a hot topic.
No no, no, no, no no no, I'm not gonna let
you wasclus It was his store specifically that only sold Dracula in vampire themed stuff.
They all had cereal. It was count Chocula. Yeah, they count
Schocula there. Uh. And I educated you guys on the Dracula's widow peak.
Yes, yes, exception, Yes, the Pelagos Dracula does not have
a widow's peak. Okay, yeah, Plagozi has it in a different movie,
White Zombie. And I think people might actually put those two together now
and think about it to get out of like playing paying universal license. Yeah,
now I could sleep because of the widow. Now you can sleep that.
Now you can sleep, and that'd be funny. Frankenstein not the monster.
One more person tells me that fact. Actually the monster were the people
chasing him down. By the way, the boris Karloff Mummy. He's only
in the wrappings in the very beginning. Did you know that? Did you
know that? Jason Voorhees isn't really in the first Friday the Thirteenth movie except
till the very end, and he doesn't have the mask till the third.
Yes, these are facts you already know, brought to you by hacking movie
Hi one last one, last one. Michael Myers not in Halloween three.
Michael Myers not the one from Austin Powers one actor two kids set of twilight
Zone. The movie decapitated by a falling helicopter. Jail back to plate,
back to wait to hear about Poulttergeist. Oh well, so, yeah,
he kills the people at the Dracula store for some reason. It's just toll
is Tracula stuff. No, no, he bites the neck of a gothchick
and a Motorhead T shirt. That is the Motorhead. I wish there was
a jokes band. Oh god, that's it right, And by the way,
I wish what you said was a joke, but that really Yeah,
this one is way more dated than the previous. Yeo. Yeah, this
one is a very much a product of its time, with with the constant
Apple products and this all. Yeah, the c g I, the references
there vegan. It's like the first one feels kind of timeless. The second
one maybe a little bit, but it's like in the the second one looks
more like fantastical or whatever. This is just like this is what's popular right
now right here, including the attitude era a wrestling. It's so funny though,
But yeah, was that ruthless aggression? Yeah? I guess it's like
Royce or Face is red. You definitely didn't do a bump of coke in
between camera cuts. No, no, no, by a Drake, not
the Vampire the Rapper by Dracula. Excuse me, I need to go.
I need to go write a song, sad, sad song. So then
there's this whole thing that they're developing called the day Star and okay, seems
like they're making like a virus to wipe out just the vampires and like ethnically
cleanse them. Like it's a genocide. Again, it's a genocide of vampires,
even Blade and they say it in the movie. He went malaut one
single move during the riff. We dropped the controller a lot and things kept
happening. But there was a point was the rest when you when you went
and he was the third time it happened right. Tony was going through the
scenes. That scene on the DVD is called the Final Solution on the DVD.
Men you yeah, I think I mentioned this, and he's a good
guy in this situation. Well you know there there was a country in the
forties that also thought they were the good guy, so don't know, and
then they just keep some vampires to get him to get into too. The
space I think I mentioned in h Guys pluts be real here, you know,
cool World War IWO would have been if they were a fucking vampire operation
Vampire paper clear boo. I was gonna say, I think I mentioned it
in the Batman Robin review. But the wrestler played Bane in that Jeep Swenson
whatever. Yeah, his character in w cwuh I think he his original name
for like a week was called the Final Solution, yes, remember, and
they got a lot of angry letters and had to change it to something else.
I'm going to destroy you. I'm going to destroy you. Ah,
No, you voult too, I will say, Okay, actually that actually
sounds hilarious. So they aren't trying to give a genocide, but I mean,
I guess in fairness, the vampires kind of started the genocide first.
They tried to send you no card of the genocide. Ah. Look,
I'm not getting at any vampire conspiracy theories on this show. Yeah, because
at some point, like they yeah, the vampires are also playing for a
genocide because they go to the big warehouse where they're all just shrink wrapped.
They have human shrink wrapp homeless people that are fully closed. I guess they
didn't take a shower, so that's not gonna be good. They're carrying something
like let's clean them up before we shrink wrap, you know, Alex.
I just want to say I love vampires. Dude. What a waste of
this, Alex is like, what waste? Oh nobody, what a waste
of a fucking warehouse? No, right, every time that's during the riff,
every time open the door, I'd be like, please don't be a
rape, Please be a rave. And there was never a raven. Even
then you have this operation feed, you have all this like human harvesting operation.
Put it on the wall behind a rave. Yes, by the way,
that would be a cool backdrop for a rave. That's a really good
point. So I do love that they show up and they kill the one
vampire lady they killed the familiar and then they tell the familiar to let him
in, and like they open it up and it's just some lady at the
computer and she's like, so I just thought about this and this would have
been great, and tell me it would have been perfect. When he kills
the familiar, he goes, you would get a little too familiar, and
then he walks away. That'd be good. And then the Irs arrest him.
But the girl is there and he's like, do the shutdown coach,
Oh yeah, oh okay, and then he just leaves. It doesn't make
sure like it goes through. And also she's just as guilty as the other
guy for doing this. She's allowing it. She gets away scott free,
but they think I get shot in the back. It just ends with everything
getting shut off and it should have just waited a bit. And then they
leave and just goes by the way back on what's the password? Harvest?
What's the past? What's the password? Harvest? Seriously? Seriously, I
mean all right, that seems not even like Harvest sixty nine exclamation point Young
Young Blood sixty nineteen. Passwords of the computer Blade. It's like Blade is
cool for twenty Like okay, Blade's passwords, fucked the iris. I think
that he just leaves her, but like she doesn't even do like a thing
normally in that situation. And I think they did it a little bit in
the second one where it's like what's the password and she doesn't even do like
a I can't tell you. They'll kill me if I tell you no.
But the and the guy that he that they shot in the back just finished
saying that they'll kill me, and yeah, and she kill I said.
She's like, you know what, Honestly, this girl is so indobinted.
Blade probably could have just knocked and she would have been like, come on,
come on in man, what's up? Remember what's up? Come on
in? Oh you made a good point that everyone has the tattoos the familiars,
and they now the tattoos in this one are used to literally scan.
And then at one point, when Blade is making fun of the nightstalkers because
he thinks they all suck, he's like, what do you know about vampires?
We find out Hannibal King was a previous familiar to Parker Posey, but
his sign is on his happy trail. His happy trail we get to see
right right right above his crotch, and you do see the top of his
pubes and I'm like, how does he scan that? How does we were
thinking of the thing like he has to like climb up on the thing,
right, it's weird and he has to get Arector it falls out. Oh
my god, we forgot the plate boner. Okay. So at one point
when Blade stands up after their break, after they're breaking him out of the
police station, they give him that, you know, he bites down that
thing that gives him the end. It's like the serum. It's like a
different version of a serum that it's now. It's like an asthmain hailer.
Yeah. And then and then when he stands up he has a breaching boner.
I mean at first Tony thought it, you know, obviously that's what
I would think because you think, why would they leave it in the in
the movie? But it was it was for the ladies. It was clear
as day that it was in his pants. It was a boner because when
he used to even lean back to show it off. That was a choice.
That was a choice, dude, he was the problem is that's a
take with the least amount of boners. Then if you think about it.
Every other take must have been way worse. Behind the love that scene,
there's a there's a behind the scenes. Ryan Rold's like, Oh, Wesley
was a prankster. He once put Viagara in everyone's drinks. We had both.
If you look, if you look really carefully, during certain scenes,
we all have raging erections, even Parker Jesus Christ. Anyway, they returned
to the Nightstalker hang out. They find pretty much everyone dead. Patton Oswald's
dead, the other guy's dead. Uh, Natasha Leon is walking around,
Uh, Kate Hannibal was taken prisoner. It's funny because you think, you
think Whistler's there for a second. Oh, we forgot to mention. Oh
go Swistler. Yes, we forgot to mention. Uh, Dracula. There
was like a whole It's it's really hard to remember Dracula, Dracula. It's
really hard to remember this movie because it's bad because at one point they go
to question the one familiar CEO dude and it's Drake who was shape shifted into
him. It's Drake. And we also forgot when Patton Oswald was showing off
all the new gadgets. At some point, he's just like, yeah,
Dracula could shape ship maybe I don't know. Yeah, I should mention it
now so it's not weird when it happens later. And also Pat also was
a very openly sexist in this movie. I'm assume anyone's curious. Yeah,
we we called it out on our commentary track. They come in, he's
like, what's up, gentleman and hatty? Gentleman and hatty. It's like,
why isn't that just a strong talking about blade? Yeah, cheeks,
No, it's fine. That explains the owner. Well remember well then he's
also a little home of because they're like, oh yeah. Because Ryan Reynolds
specifically asked him like, have you ever gotten late? He's like, yes,
many times with ladies. That isn't what Ryan Reynolds asks, and nobody
has just asked if you got late. He didn say with what gender identification,
but Patton Oswald, who's so insecure, had to be like, no,
it was definitely girls. It's like, well, and then now it
just seems like a lot. And then Dracula decides the way to infiltrate their
secret vampire destroying facility is to change into the guy that they all know is
dead. Yes, Instead, of changing to like Ryan Reynolds or one of
them, that he'd be like, oh I came back, I escaped or
whatever. Or instead, what they do is he changes to the dead guy,
but now he's dressed in a black suit, and at one point he's
just staring over them, and he shows up and he and and I guess
that's the scene where he uh, he abducts the blind chick's daughter. Yes,
he kills the blind girl or he like murk like, he hurts her
a lot and he takes her daughter and then they it's a Scream three situation
where it turns out she just left the video for them good or she's like,
I'm probably dead. It was in a folder title the mcguffin. Yeah,
and then like she says, she's like, there's another advancement on the
I made another breakthrough. It's like, so every single breakthrough does she then
sit down in her camera. You'd be like this, I'm probably dead like
everything every single time? Yeah. Yeah, they're like, wow, she
does this every day? Why do you Why are you crying every day?
If you're watching this, I'm probably dead. In the fridge is probably the
best turkey sandwich I've ever made. Ever, there's half in there. Try
it. Uh yeah. So she's like, look, I made this,
I made the weapon. Back and kill the vampires, but blade heads up,
it might kill you. Also rewind a little bit. I forgot.
Uh there's a really fake baby in this movie. Showed the footage of the
fake baby. Okay, back to this. So yeah, now it's just
like, all right, we only have this one arrow that some guy shows
up to give them. And it was the guy who was in Peacemaker you
found out, yes, yeah, yeah, this dude just audio or some
cold door colder colder or something. This guy comes out of nowhere and he's
like, Hi, what's up. It's me Jerry mcguffin. Here's the arrow.
All right, boy, you only get one shot at it. That's
it for Wow. I would have loved if, you know, you would
have maybe set that up. It would have meant something or maybe set it
open the three different films if there's somebody working on something. But no,
no, Instead it's just like you have a son and here's an arrow,
and you know, I don't know no raves either, can't afford no raves,
no ravess. Oh yeah, So they get the arrow and They're like,
all right, it looks like we're going to the fucking Vampire Layer again,
which, by the way, the Vampire Layer is basically the Avengers Tower
if you really take a look at it kind of if you look at it
side, decide it really looks like the same building. We know what it
isn't a fucking raine. Yes, Hannibal King is being interrogated and uh,
these him t Blake just making dick jokes to the point where Parker Posey is
upset about all the dick jokes because she has penis envy. She does say
that. She literally like says, she says, you're you're bringing out the
envy and me when they were talking about Dix and I'm like, now he's
here's one of the biggest problems I have here. So the reapers were like
a problem for vampires, right, it was like a very deadly disease that
could have wiped them all out, because remember, the reapers don't stay alive
long, so eventually they would have turned into reapers. And then just down
the spoilers, I'm watching these reviews backwards. Well, so yeah, he
probably should have watched these. Oh you do the review first and then you
watch right, and then I never watch him again because once you get the
thing, it's the point the whole movie. Oh that's what Tony meant.
You know, I should review Memento like in order. That would be hilarious,
honestly, not a joke. You should, but it'll be black and
white when we're talking about the course. So yeah, the Reapers were like
a problem that they wanted to wipe. And also they destroyed all the evidence.
Were like Whistler destroyed all the vials. They blew up that blaze.
So somehow they figured out how to get reaper DNA and they put it in
a bomberanium and it's like the dumbest effect. It's like, I'm fine with
a vampire dog. It's the fact that it was the Reaper. I'm like
no. I Also, to make it even better, it was triple hus
dog, which made the contrast of big guy with a little dog. I
think that's what they were going for. In all fairness, that scene was
quickly made better when two gigantic rottweilers were also chasing. That comes up in
a little bit, yes, yes, and step on the little dog,
and you could tell that really happened there is a take where the rotte Isiler
runs over the pomeranium. They just left the audible yelp from the Bomberanian love
it. I do like I do like the moment. It'll be like,
now it's cliched when this happens. But Ryan Reynolds is like, they know
they're coming here. I got a tracker and they're coming in right now,
and they're like a few seconds off. Like that's funny. You know something
that we forgot to mention that is really quick that I think it's an important
scene to It kind of sets what the movie is going to be. When
Jessica Biel's dressed like a homeless person or walking with her bag, Oh my
god, we totally yeah right because so so so they're following so like there's
vampire hooligans, I guess are following her. And apparently these vampires jobs is
to go out there and hopefully with a city filled with millions of people,
get lucky that they follow you like debate them, and then of course you
know she kicks all their asses and stuff with her with her uvy bow and
arrow that can expand. It's half it's half as hot as the sun,
which of course that can't be possible. Uh. You know what, you
know what helps me when I'm fighting people, Royce, if I have earbunds
in and I'm listening to music, so I won't be able to hear if
anyone's sneaking up behind me. It's a lot of slapping and biting. Yes,
usually usually gets me out of a situation. So they all break into
the facility to like free Hannibal King and you know fight Drake. Uh it's
Dracula. Uh, it's boring, it is, it is under one.
It's an underwhelming fight. The dogs falling out of the tower was worth it.
The best fight scene, in my opinion of the whole thing was Triple
H fighting Ryan Reynolds, because at least we saw some action that was different.
I enjoyed. And their banter prop and that's again tell you what.
Their banter was probably the best out of the whole movie between two people because
you could tell they're both kind of cocky and it was kind of a good
fit. But outside of that, like Jessica Bille, they really build up
her back thing in her child and all. She just kind of shoot a
couple arrows. Yeah, and so it's not really a lot. And then
of course, like you said, the final fight is a CGI nightmare.
Oh my god, the shot with Drake you like getting launched off the thing
and like spinning around is really bad. I do like the whole thing,
the cliche of like I'm angrier and this fight got harder, so let me
get less armored. It's like you probably should have do that less armored and
more demoned. And Tommy Purcell is like, all right, I'm out,
let's switch to the tall stunt man and the red dry not always be that
guy he feels like he's stronger at that time, start to fight like that.
Yeah, that always made cracks me up with those like why don't you
just wearing you? Always the monster? Just always be the monster. Yeah.
So, like I said that, the fight is, I'm actually more
invested in the Parker Posey Hannibal King stuff. Absolutely, she's like trying to
kill and I think I bet you, I bet you that was a setup
for the spin off, was their relationship and all? Yeah, because that
actually would be I would obviously watch a movie where Parker Posy is just has
is a scorned ex lover of Ryan Reynolds, a vampire hunt Yeah, it's
actually pretty funny. That sounds that would be a good show. And it
doesn't even need to be in the Blink universe its own fucking thing. Yeah,
but that is weird. Like Jessica Bill, she doesn't because Hannibal takes
care of Triple H's death is kind of cool, falls through the box there,
but then he's also dealing dealing with Parker Posy like Jessica Bielle, I
think shoots some stuff at her. It's not really fighting anyone really that I
can recall. No, no, no one really fights. They all just
kind of they all just kind of chase everything. There's chasing and running.
And then that's right, they're all fighting just random vampires who happen to be
in the bill. Yes, there's there's the armed guards, and then there's
just vampires who were just there. It's all over the place. It's not
as self contained as And that's a good point, Like it's implied that there's
a lot of vampires there, right, it's implied because but you only really
see three of them, four of them fighting. Like if you would think
this invasion was that big when all the vampires in the facility at the same
time yeah, but just a couple of the guards show up because later on,
when they released a Staunstar virus, they literally had to bring an extras
to be vampires to show him dying. What did you think of the red
Dragon Dracula Dracula, I mean, in terms of a practical effect, I
think it looked cool. Yeah, It's not like it didn't look bad,
but it was like why yeah, yeah. Then they gave him like a
reaper mouth, not quite a riper mouth sort of, yeah, sort of,
but and it's it's him changing size. Didn't seem to make him stronger.
No, it's an aesthetic thing, I guess. Yeah. It was
like like like a like a scary face on a butter flies wings. Yeah,
and he decides to like sword fight blade. It's like, well,
the silver wouldn't kill any of you really, so you're just gonna slice each
other up. I don't know what you're gonna achieve. Yeah, pointless.
Yeah, it's pointless. Pointless end for a pointless film. And this would
be a good moment for the Abigail character to shoot the arrow. We forgot
the training of her shooting the arrow, trying to shoot the arrow, so
arrow goes faster, but it can't be fair. Your arm can only go
back. That's it. That's yeah, that goes and not like the speed
even fucking matter because by the way, because they couldn't even let Abigail get
the wind because when she shoots a dawn Star arrow, Dracula catches it in
the air and Blade has to be the one to do it. Yeah.
I hate when movies do that. Like there's some Dracula catches it and then
drops it at Blade's hands. Yeah, yeah, he just throws it just
still though. Yeah, that reminds me of like the Resident Evil. Movies
are famous for that, where someone could kill but they have to make sure
Amelia Jovovich who kills him. Yeah, well that's why you know, the
best Batman movie ever made, Dark Knight Rises, That's why I like that.
Like Catwoman just comes in and shoots Bain. That is how it should
have gone. Yeah, cat Woman came in and then gave Batman something to
beat up baby, which is the way it should have been. We kept
making the joke to this whole thing, the whole Scott Evil thing. I
have a gun in my room, like we just shoot him right now.
This should have this problem should have been solved a long time ago. Yeah,
yes. Oh. And then so then after they after the whole fight,
they inject him with the Dawn Star thing, and then of course it
only kills thankfully because they wanted spin offs. It only kills vampires in the
general vicinity. But then when he's dying, Dracula decides to go even though
they're mortal enemies and he just genocided half of his species. He goes,
I give you a finite gift, Blade, Do you have a finale gift
that would give you? And then the final gift was for him to turn
into Blade when he died, so they think he was alive. I grant
you freedom, Blade. Do you do you think I miss l I know
you're like centuries old, but like I'm I'm not like, hey, hey,
hey Drake, Like we can walk around Drake. It's twenty twenty two
man. Yeah, Like depending where you are, are you in the third
world? And this is oh my god. The movie ends with Dracula getting
canceled. He doesn't even get killed, he gets canceled. One of the
one of the like other vampires, is like, did you see Dracula's tweet?
Yeah, that would be hilarious if you know this. But Dracula was
fi following Reinhardt on Twitter before he died. Yeah, it's like, oh
wow, Winehart's German. You know who loves Dracula? Faddel that Andrew Tait
guy. I think Dracula's problematic. Well, he's like, I've killed thousands
of people, that's the issue. Yeah, so now the whole hymn.
So he wants to keep Blade alive at that point because he's like, you'll
create more vampires. And it's like, do we know if Blade can turn
people into vampires? That don't think I was ever really spelled out. Yes,
yes, I think he can, because didn't he didn't he try to
do that to save one somebody from in the first one. I don't even
know men though maybe maybe maybe I'm mixing up every van I think what well,
I think the whole point though, like I've noticed there's like a pattern.
I think what it is is that he's a day walker, right,
so anything that anyone that he bites would become a day walker. I think
that's why everyone was like after his blood. And like the second one,
I don't think it he bites him, they get turned daywalk. I think
using the blood they could try to make something. Yeah, but he's like,
the thirst will get you, Blade, and you'll finally give in.
And but but technically he does when they bathe him in blood. Yeah,
but listen, so we knew that there was this fact going around that Blade
Buzzy Sypes didn't want to open his eyes. Yeah, yes, but I
don't think we saw that. So I think I was reading the original ending.
I don't think it was supposed to be Drake in the morgue, because
that's how the movie ends. They find Blade's body, they put in the
morgue, and it turns out to be Drake. But I'm seeing here in
the unrated extend edition the body and the more does not transform back into Drake.
Blade awakens as the autopsy begins, so that's probably the CGI. Hold
on, wait, hold on, don't gloss over the fact that there's a
fucking extended version of Played Trinity. Yes, he awakens as the autops fifteen
more, Ryan Reynolds Tick jokes, and he attacks the doctors and the FBI
agents. The scene ends as he menacingly approaches a cowering orderly King narrates that
the virus did not kill Blade, as the human half of his heart did
not stop eating and only slowed down, causing him to enter in ocoma so
state until his body was ready to fight again. So that's how they originally
gonna end it. Instead this one they're like, he just gets off on
a motorcycle and takes off, only he takes off in the not just the
like a. He takes off along the center line of two lanes and he's
going normal speed and they're going and if you slow it down as he goes
off into the horizon, they squeeze him thinner, he fits fades out.
Yeah. See, the movie just kind of ends there. But there was
blooper reel was dope though there wasn't huh Blooperriel was six. I don't think,
can we do that again? Guys? Can we do that again?
So there was another alternate ending because now there's less vampires. I guess.
I wonder if in the original version it was going to be all vampires or
something. But I remember correctly in the blooper reels, one of the things
was he goes you Kun chuggling Thundercock. I got it wrong. I'll do
it again. I'll do it again? Remember stuttering John's blooper Reels One too
Many? Yeah, noting Johns wood Reels called his career dude, dude,
Carl too many for that? One too many? Was you have the comments
I retort for that too, did Yeah, Yeah, I'm the one who
actually got him. I'm the one who actually told him about that and got
him. Like me and Carl, that is probably one of the most unfunny
comedies I've met. It's one of the hardest thing. I think. That's
one of the hardest things I've got that. That's my Rocketman. That's my
Rocketman is one Harland Williams wackett Man movies, one of the merce movieservers.
Yeah, dude, if you want to suffer Williams Williams Arlyn. I saw
that as a kid and I remember like it. I wonder how I would
feel you not like it now? Yeah, So the alternate ending the Nightstalkers.
They're in a casino in Asia and I have seen the scene. You
should check out the scene, and they're like, not so many vampires around
the works, things have been less busy, and then a werewolf bursts in.
It's like we're gonna fight were wolves. It's Chinese wear wolf by night.
Possibly. I don't know. We're gonna fight wear wolves down. That's
how that ends. You see. They're they're like they're like the day walker
version. They're called they're wolves. They can be anywhere I don't and they're
don't have to turn into wolves. They're just guys. Yeah, they're just
Everybody change it because like, why would you want to set up a vampire
killing team and then you make the movie where you introduce them, you kill
all the vampires. It's like that seems that seems counter to what you want
to do. It's not were wolves. It's just a bunch of burly Greek
tourists worthy. So that is Blade Trinity. Jesus, I will never watch
it again, never again, ever again, ever, ever, except for
when I'm syncing up our audio commentary. But other than that, never again.
Hashtag never forget the Make sure to get the form the four film Favorites
collection. There's what is Give me that one? The fourth one is the
pilot to the TV show starring Sticky Things. Oh you never saw the TV
show? No, Well, looks like we have one more thing to do.
The TV show apparently it was on TV a while back, and I
have time to watch it the best streaming service by the way, too.
Yes, of course obviously the TV show apparently, like from what I read,
it got like really good like ratings. It was just too expensive to
produce, and they're like, yeah, we're done, We're done. Moonnight
would have originally debuted in the Blade TV show and they had to wait till
Disney Plus. Uh yeah, so that is played Trinity. We all hate
it. It's so bad. It's not very good at all. Lesley Snipes
has checked out. Ryan Reynolds has a few good jokes here and there,
but mostly no, I hated it. What's her face is hot? But
you could probably just look up some pictures of her. Yeah, you don't
watch another movie she's in, Like, really a better movie, Watch a
better movie. She's watched Chuck and Larry. She's in Chuck and Larry,
watches Gold Chuck and Larry. Here's I got one here. Don't worry about
Jessica Bill. Watch any other movie. Yeah, anything that exists. I
was gonna say, if you're like a weirdo, I mean, totally normal
person, there are extreme close ups of her feet, but you probably just
go to the internet for those they do have a She has that shower scene
where she's crying and with blood's coming off. It was really weird, and
it's also one of the biggest showers I've ever seen. Yeah, it's a
very large shower. That's kind of one of those showers like a serial killer
traps you in and it slowly. Yeah. Yeah, like a torture shower.
So that's it. This movie is a torture shower. Yes, well,
thanks, guys, I was I just wanted to have a nice warning
coffee and oh, we ate your leftovers. I'm so, I'm sorry,
we got a peckish. You have a lot of sushi in your fridge,
like an alarming amount, Like like it's concerning we ate it all, but
it's concerning how much there was, Tony, I mean five pounds of California
rules. I think California rules, guys, I mean almost mean Califorti rolls.
I love to eat them at Blade Broke, Blade Broke Us. This
is what we are now, So yes, I guess we'll come back for
the TV show I did streaming. I can find it. Don't worry about
that. Now feels like a stupid question. I wanted to say, where
can I find you? But apparently in my apartment complex. You can find
me wherever Tony's not home, I'll be in his house and also go to
here. Let me plug my locals Revenge of the Assist at locals dot com
because do a bunch of movie rifts there and stuff like that, and that's
really fun. So I have something in my ear. I think you said
sith and we're just gonna go with that. Well, what I like A
like assists anyway? What was your thing? Oh? Well, I'm when
I'm not rating Tony's fridge for imitation crab and cream cheese. I you can
find me midnight Riffarty dot locals dot com. There'll be show updates to our
streams on Rumble as well as there's paid content like little extra stuff. It
gets pretty spicy. We've got it's pretty awesome. Uh. And that's real
imitation crab, Yes, real, real authentic, real authentic imitation crab spelled
with a K two. Well, I guess I gotta wake up now and
like go to work. Yeah, we'll be here, Okay, I'm just
gonna we're gonna find the Blade the series and watch it for you all right,
see you later, buddy. Bye. Remember to like, comment,
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