Comedy Central Podcast. How we are. I' m Daniboy Rivera, I
' m Galician. It' s no weather luck. You' ve got
this awesome guy here. In Galicia we do not conceive temperatures above thirty-
five degrees, that is, the other day a colleague from Cordoba calls me.
They tell me no other you' ll believe, Dani we' re
forty- five degrees away. I didn' t even think I could be
talking about temperature degrees. I thought they' d be very inclined Hostia.
Yes, that' s how this art is to ask me why in Galicia
and so much drug trafficking. It' s the last time I say it,
because there' s nothing like Galician character to survive an interrogation by the
Civil Guard. You know what I mean. You know this man, you
know what you mean by knowing and you don' t get any more uncle.
That' s how we Galicians are. Forbidding drugs is forbidding the poor
to go on vacation. It doesn' t say drugs are bad. It
' s also bad smoke when your cars go from Madrid to Valencia, uh,
they' re all a fucking caravan. It' s bad, it
' s smoke, because there are people who want to go on vacation,
they don' t have a car and they make a different smoke, because
less harmful, more fun and I can assure you that more people die traveling
by car than traveling in their living room. This fact is true. There
' s no documented case of someone dying of marijuana overdose. I guess because
you' re fucking asleep first. You know, you' d have to
smoke a lot of joints and put a lot of alarms on the alarm clock.
Yeah, man, the other day I was reading about a girl,
an English girl, man, Jemman Mos, we got this name. Jemma
Ms thirty- one years, the first candidate to die of marijuana overdose.
Jemman Mos' acquaintances said she smoked half a joint a day. I didn
' t understand anything until I saw the pictures. You have to see that
half joint. Dude, there were whole eggs just shitting inside that joint.
You know so it' s not worth it I feel isolated case. Marijuana
remains the safest means of transportation in the world. It' s worth ironically.
They don' t let you smoke, they don' t let you
drive. I don' t know if I know this fact You go to
a drug control and you can give positive marijuana 24 hours after you' ve
smoked, that is, the THC of marijuana, but it stays in the
body longer than heroin. That means you could give this case. Hey Juan,
Juan wakes up, man that I just remembered that I smoked half a
joint in the morning that you' re gonna have to drive. Don'
t worry about it. This isn' t a coconut. I pricked myself
three hours ago It was fucking how you smoke half a joint. Teño,
you' re crazy. You haven' t seen what happened to the English
girl. Impressive. Man, no one cares about the poor, not those
who care about them worry badly. An example Antonio Abad, creator of the
MEGA technology platform was a net intended for people at risk of social exclusion to
share video image files. That' s a very good idea, Antonio.
If it wasn' t for people who are at risk of social exclusion don
' t have the Internet, what' s your next project, Antonio,
you' re going to organize a coup tournament in Damascus for Syrian refugees to
improve their swings. Those are his Arpono plans. I don' t like
sports, but now I have a kid. When you have a child,
you have a new superpower pretending interest suy a dro an example. Another day
I was in my room jerking off all of a sudden dad' s kid
calls me Dad, dad braked Frené who can give you a stroke I run
out with blue eggs into the living room and I see my son playing it
Ui look dad I' m champion of the Copa Caparazon with great trupa cup.
Diego, I' m going to my room to get the champions'
flag. It took me 15 minutes and she doesn' t want to have
another child. Carloca uncle not another. Now it' s no longer worth
it. They' re for life, man It' s not independence anymore.
I' ve seen cradles in Ika that set zero forty years. They
' re making you cribs of marriage. Fuck. There' s no bun
oven. Not the bird is the fastest train in the world and point,
there' s no magno totren in China that' s faster, but it
doesn' t touch the ground. If you don' t touch the ground,
it' s not a fucking train. It' s a semantic issue.
It is as if now we build a highway from here Barcelona to Madrid,
we put a plane flying low and say that we have the fastest bus
in the world, but that it does not touch the ground, not the
alsan magneto missile that takes. The truth is, I' m an atheist,
not because I choose him. My parents washed my head when I was
little. I' d like to be a believer, Uncle eight miss is
to have faith uncle, any religion would have been worth less Jewish don'
t get me wrong. It' s nothing racial, but I don'
t trust people who have very bad luck. Both jujos are very unlucky.
Not always surrounded by tragedies. They didn' t do anything, they don
' t remind me a little, like Mariana Rajoy and Esperanza Aguirre. Not
always surrounded by corrupts with how good people they are, not because they were
saved from the helicopter, but if I didn' t want them to be
Jews look at the bad luck of those people. I found a website where
they recount all the corruption cases that have occurred in the history of democracy.
Evidently, since I don' t have DSL, I couldn' t see
it and went to another website where they put a recount of corruption cases that
have occurred in this legislature. There goes PP data one hundred and seventy-
seven corruption cases. It weighed one hundred and twenty- eight converges and unites,
fourteen GNP, thirteen united Left, eight fuck, if it is the
seats that are giving them the FIS polls. You know what I mean.
It' s the demonstration that people like to vote for those who steal isn
' t like that' s why on the united left they' re putting
up chicks wow say Hostia with eight corruption cases. We' re not gonna
rule in our fucking life. It makes you respect. I go with the
ego of the human being. It' s like every time we make a
movie, think about this about aliens, whenever they come down they talk to
us, that' s to say they really believe a being who' s
able to cross the whole universe. It' s good to come here what
an intellectual quotient has nine thousand ninety zero. You think he' ll see
the difference between the intelligence of a human and any other animal. I'
ll put it on another phone. Imagine it' s worth it. Imagine
that it takes you a planet where there are only ilubin salmon who you'
d talk to first and fucking idea truth you still talk to a salmon and
you' re disrespecting sea bass, but you don' t have the fucking
idea, because why it blows you. And that' s what I think
would happen if they come and blow it to us, the trees blow it
to us, they' re not living beings like us and we rip them
off to make Christmas ornaments, what they' re going to suffer, they
' re not trees. That' s what we deserve, that aliens come
with a single mission, use us as Christmas ornaments and that' s the
end of the human being in balls, in the corner of the living room
of a Vulcanian with two colored balls, hanging from the eggs and in front
of a guy saying they' re going to suffer. Fuck, they'
re just human,' cause I got a plastic one. Pacma' s
Martian plays balls. Even the word extraterrestrial is already offensive but I know,
uncle, I' d like you to call yourselves extra- Vulcanians. For
example, no one imagines this is another side. No one imagines believing aliens.
True, we assume that they are atheists, that, that is,
there was never a news in the fourth millennium of a guy saying they cut
me off and made me the first Communion. That never happens. No,
yeah, they' re always like scientific experiments that have to do with the
ass It' s okay, and I didn' t do the first Communion.
But that' s not the first Communion. Man, that' s
before in the pop parish Oh. But we do need to, we don
' t need to believe in things. We don' t always need like
a demigod not to tell us more or less. How to behave, no,
how to behave like Jesus Christ was not even the first, it will
not be the last. Let no one be surprised if in two thousand years
we see a gentleman saying then I don' t like that my wife wears
those measures, because Superman wouldn' t see it well, no and hold
on to the fact that at Christmas the gifts bring them the fantastic four unless
you behave badly. Then Magneto comes in and they give you some bracquets and
fuck off. No, because that' s what it' s all about,
not making up moves. Before I leave here, I want to send
a message to a lot of people here right now who are having a hard
time and don' t have to have a hard time. I' m
talking about all those who have been unfaithful to your partner and feel like your
ass, because you haven' t told each other, you can raise your
hand. No, we' re not gonna pretend there' s nothing here
in that situation. And hating me, I' m not gonna tell you
the truth. It' s okay for you to stay calm, so tonight
you' ll sleep with each other and say it' s okay. I
' ll tell you the truth. Faithfulness is bullshit. Jesus Christ said it
how you stay put it in the fucking Bible. Uncle killed five twenty-
seven Bar twenty- eight and I say literally you heard what they said.
You will not commit adultery. I, however, love jc however, I,
however, tell you that everyone who looks at a woman greedy for her
has already committed adultery in his heart with her, for look male. If
I' ve already screwed up thinking about it, I' ll fuck her
up. I mean, if you think about it, if the sins of
thought are worth the same as the sins of action. The sins of action
are not going to make a difference in global computation, so since we'
ve screwed up so much throughout our lives, how it is now to have
fun and fuck wo