WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:06.759
Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout Podcasts for
the week of May one, twenty twenty

2
00:00:06.759 --> 00:00:11.839
three. I'm Nicol Artics and I'm
here with Katherine Heleco. Hello. Every

3
00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:15.679
week we chat about what parents are
talking, complaining, and obsessing about right

4
00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:20.920
now. But this week we're short
one podcaster as Terry recuperates from surgery and

5
00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:24.640
we forced her to take a few
days off, So we thought we'd take

6
00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:29.199
a look back at some of our
past discussions on encounters with sickness, health

7
00:00:29.239 --> 00:00:36.679
and healthcare. Today's chat is originally
from twenty nineteen. And you know what,

8
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:42.679
I am sick of being sick.
That is my complaint for today because

9
00:00:42.759 --> 00:00:51.920
legitimately I am sick again. Oh
dear that kind of year. But I

10
00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.920
mean I have no problem working my
way through a cold. I mean,

11
00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.240
nobody wants to be sick. But
I have a problem with is that my

12
00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:07.560
family does not seem to respect the
fact that I have a cold. Of

13
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:11.519
course, that's that's my complaint.
It's like there's man like, there's the

14
00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:15.840
man flu, but what about the
mom flew? Like can we not have

15
00:01:15.239 --> 00:01:19.200
our own version where we just get
to curl up in bed for a day

16
00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:23.879
and everything around us will get like
mysteriously taken care of, and our kids

17
00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:27.120
will get picked up, and dinner
will get made and we don't have to

18
00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:34.000
direct anybody or and you won't finally
emerge from your sick bed to find like

19
00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:42.000
piles of dirty laundry and dirty dishes
and dare and very dirty just as you

20
00:01:42.120 --> 00:01:49.480
left it because you're loving spouse picked
up the pieces while you get falling apart.

21
00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:55.120
Is it just me? Or does
anybody have like you know, do

22
00:01:55.239 --> 00:01:59.040
they get to like do that?
Do they get to retreat to their room

23
00:01:59.079 --> 00:02:02.799
and and you know, spend some
time on self care or do we just

24
00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:08.240
pop some pills and keep going.
When my kids were littler, I couldn't,

25
00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:13.000
But now I think I could.
My husband makes dinner and cleans up,

26
00:02:14.719 --> 00:02:19.360
and he does most of the stuff
around the house, and I just

27
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:23.000
work. So the only person who
would miss me would be whoever I had

28
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:27.680
work due to Um, I think
I could just kind of hide the room

29
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:31.599
so you could rent him out forever. The only thing is if if I

30
00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:35.879
needed to drive my son to work, that would be a problem. Um.

31
00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:39.240
Yeah, you can take a mom
sick day, but the stroblem is

32
00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:43.639
you can't take a freelance sick day. I can't take a freelance sick day.

33
00:02:43.719 --> 00:02:49.319
Yeah. That's where my inability to
take a sick day lies because um,

34
00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:52.360
if I if I take a day
off, I get no money and

35
00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:58.719
that's a problem. And also I
have deadlines, and you know, those

36
00:02:58.759 --> 00:03:00.719
don't go away. I just get
later on a whole bunch of things.

37
00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:05.159
So that makes it less fun to
just lay in bed to be sick.

38
00:03:05.879 --> 00:03:12.319
Wow, you get to have the
mom flu. I knock on wood.

39
00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:16.680
You know, don't get sick very
often. Oh you don't say that.

40
00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:23.680
I know, Oh no, no, I know it's hard. Um,

41
00:03:23.719 --> 00:03:29.400
but yeah, it would be very
difficult because just dropping off and picking up

42
00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:34.840
and yeah, you know, keeping
on top of things. You know,

43
00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:43.199
I go away frequently, like fairly
frequently, and things generally can hang together

44
00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:49.319
while but you know, I do
tend to come home and find like piles

45
00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:54.280
of clutter and unwashed clothing and things, um when I get back. So

46
00:03:54.319 --> 00:04:00.520
I think that would be the equivalent. But I have a thing where I

47
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:04.039
would love to a lot of nights, I would love to read in bed

48
00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:09.919
before I go to sleep, and
my husband is always in there with the

49
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:15.120
light off, and that's when I'm
like, you know, when you just

50
00:04:15.160 --> 00:04:19.040
started like dragging through the day and
you're like, I just want to you

51
00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:25.759
know, that sounds light down,
And I find that I am always you

52
00:04:25.800 --> 00:04:30.000
know, the last one to bed
and the first one mm because of just

53
00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:36.439
stuff that needs to be done.
So that's part of what I like about

54
00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:42.480
going away, because I feel like
I can be so productive on whatever it

55
00:04:42.519 --> 00:04:46.839
is I'm there to do because I
don't have all the day to day home

56
00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:53.000
stuff to deal with. That makes
sense, Yeah, I don't know.

57
00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:56.839
I stay home and I get sick
and things fall apart. I leave things

58
00:04:56.839 --> 00:05:05.560
fall apart. You cannot. I
can't wait. You know, when are

59
00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:10.399
they not gonna need me? Though? Yeah? I think your kids are

60
00:05:10.399 --> 00:05:15.160
at an age where they should be
able to fend for themselves. They are,

61
00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.399
and they're getting there. It's you
know, I'm a big softy too

62
00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:21.040
though, because, like I get, I let them get away with a

63
00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:26.399
lot too. You know, they've
got oh I'm studying for the m cat

64
00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:30.839
got you know, all this ap
homework to do, and I know it

65
00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:34.600
legitimately takes up a lot of time
another day. So yeah, I tend

66
00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:40.199
to give them a free pass far
too often. You're nice, Okay,

67
00:05:40.240 --> 00:05:44.680
I'll do it. Well, now
we need this. This is starting to

68
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:47.279
explain why you never get to be
sick. You have to just say.

69
00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:53.199
You just have to tell yourself,
I am ill, I cannot do things.

70
00:05:53.480 --> 00:05:56.240
I'm just going to stand bed.
And then you have to listen to

71
00:05:56.319 --> 00:06:01.319
yourself and not feel guilty and not
feel like a martyr. Unfortunately, you

72
00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:08.519
think about like if you were you
know, your leg was broken or something

73
00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:15.600
and you couldn't drive and you couldn't
move around, somehow it would get done.

74
00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:20.959
It might, I mean it might
involve. For me, what it

75
00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:28.399
would involve is a lot of calling
in favors for other of other parents to

76
00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:32.160
take my kids places. Yeah,
wouldn't that be a good excuse though?

77
00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:39.199
Yeah, well they would have to
say, but they're not going to come

78
00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:44.240
and wash my dishes either, so
no, yeah, and it would have

79
00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:47.120
to be something more dramatic than a
simple gold or the flu. Well,

80
00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:55.839
right, although I think I think, you know, my mom, friends,

81
00:06:55.920 --> 00:07:02.759
my fellow like hockey parents or whatever, I think we're all pretty happy

82
00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:05.439
to help each other out if we
can, and if we are if we

83
00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:12.519
need to. You know, well, if someone asks me to go to

84
00:07:12.639 --> 00:07:15.800
run their kids somewhere. They don't
have to be like on their deathbed,

85
00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:23.160
I will do it right. So
yeah, and I guess I know now

86
00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:26.000
that my kids are a bit older, it's a lot different. Of course,

87
00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:30.000
when they were younger, right,
Yeah, having to do that minute

88
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:32.720
to minute care, yeah, it
seemed to be needed. But um,

89
00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:38.759
but when they're younger too, you
can like spark them in front of the

90
00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:43.560
TV sleep, do you know what
I mean? Like, there's certain things

91
00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:51.360
that are easier, I think,
and feed them cereal, right, isn't

92
00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:57.079
that the truth? Actually last night, my son, Um, they were

93
00:07:57.160 --> 00:07:59.439
hungry, and I said, you
know what, I'm so busy trying to

94
00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:01.360
get ready for the conference. You're
going to have to deal with it.

95
00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:05.759
They actually put together quite a nice
meal. So well, hey, maybe

96
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:09.519
I just need to feign business more
often. Yeah, suckers, Now you

97
00:08:09.560 --> 00:08:15.560
know they can do it, or
just do what you did earlier today and

98
00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:20.920
take some cold medicine and just pass
out so that they're you know, you

99
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:26.279
were just unable to help them.
Everybody. I mean, I'm I'm unable

100
00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:31.840
to be available for anybody, but
everything, you know, casts to keep

101
00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:33.720
going. I mean, my kids
were a lot better. I have to

102
00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:39.919
admit, my kids were a lot
better when I was working out away from

103
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.360
the home. They were a lot
more, especially my son, who was

104
00:08:43.399 --> 00:08:46.879
a lot more independent and could do
things. And so when I got sick,

105
00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:50.840
you know, it wasn't too big. But it's like they regressed now

106
00:08:50.840 --> 00:09:01.080
that I've been at home for the
last Anyways, independent skills, yeah,

107
00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:07.000
it's very much about, like,
you know, what what the expectations are

108
00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:11.799
and what they get used to and
like, yes, the other day my

109
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:20.240
son surprised me in a good way
because he was at home. My husband

110
00:09:20.279 --> 00:09:22.320
was at home, but he was
working in he was going to be on

111
00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:24.639
a conference call, so he really
couldn't do anything. And I had to

112
00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:31.360
go out and a repairman was coming, so I said, you know,

113
00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.240
you are going to need to be
the one that opens the door and shows

114
00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:39.639
them in. And you know he
knows what to do, but you I

115
00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:45.720
need you to, you know,
be aware of the doorbell, like open

116
00:09:45.840 --> 00:09:50.000
the door, put away the dogs, all that stuff. And when I

117
00:09:50.039 --> 00:09:54.840
came home, not only had he
done that, he actually shoveled snow in

118
00:09:54.919 --> 00:09:58.759
the wall in the front walk because
he knew that this person was coming and

119
00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:05.360
he wanted to. So I was
very prize. That is very good.

120
00:10:07.559 --> 00:10:13.960
I guess I'm surprised you Well,
I've been doing something lately that is giving

121
00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:16.559
me the feel of having a sick
day, whether I'm actually having one or

122
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:20.639
not, which is that when I
wake up in the morning, instead of

123
00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.559
thinking about all the things I have
to do, get up, take a

124
00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.679
shower, breakfast, do this,
do the treadmill, whatever, and then

125
00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:30.039
like rolling over and going back to
sleep and then starting my work really late,

126
00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.960
I just sit up in bed,
grab my laptop and start working right

127
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:37.519
there in bed with the pillows propped
up behind me. I call out for

128
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:39.039
my daughter to bring me a cup
of coffee and a breakfast bar, and

129
00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:43.399
then I just spend the morning working
and dad, and it's worked out really

130
00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.720
good in terms of getting work done, and I kind of feel like,

131
00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:50.919
well, you know, here I
am sequestered in my room, having people

132
00:10:50.919 --> 00:10:56.960
bringing me things and playing with my
computer. So maybe if you ever need

133
00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:05.240
a sick day, try that.
That's it for today's Sickness and Health Chat.

134
00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:09.039
Tune in tomorrow for another take on
this theme. We're always interested in

135
00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:13.120
what you have to say, so
drop us a comment on our website,

136
00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:16.840
our Facebook page, or Twitter,
where you will find us at roundabout chat