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The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are
supported by his extensive experience as a family

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therapist and in the previous analysis of
the cases presented here. We start when

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it comes to education. It is
important to understand that you cannot educate without

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investing time and immediately. I know
you' re gonna tell me I work

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all day. My partner and I
work all day. Yeah, and it

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' s certainly not that you have
to stop doing it to educate. But

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it' s very important to understand
that when we' re generating habits and

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when we' re educating whoever you
give your kids, who keep their heads

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up while obviously they' re not
in school, they just have to watch

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that your child doesn' t expose
himself, have any risk that endangers him.

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They also have to educate, and
this means that if I tell him

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I picked up something, I can' t give myself the order and turn

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around and assume he' s going
to do it. I have to pay

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attention to giving the order, to
see if he is doing what I asked

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him to do and if not,
immediately get up and say I told you

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to do such a thing and do
it and make sure he does it.

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And that time doesn' t matter
if it' s the guy, the

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granny, the person who helps us, who works with us at home,

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no matter who needs to spend time. No one follows an order just because

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we gave it to him. If
we have not generated the habit of obedience,

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notice that when it comes to educating
manners. Please, thank you,

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excuse me. All that approach goes
a lot along the lines of repetition so

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that your children learn how to do
it and from a very small point of

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view. There' s no small
age where your child can' t learn

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it, doing at least the intention
to do it and do that. To

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thank, to ask please to say
with permission all this, which is such

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an important part of our culture and
our manners, makes the children learn,

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because we are repeating them and making
them do it, but above all because

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of the modeling that you give them. They hear you ask please, they

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hear you say thank you, they
hear you say with permission or simple and

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just act like that, and that
modeling base is a very important part for

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the beginning of education. Don'
t let it go. Chayo I write

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because I feel a little confused.
I have a 16- year- old

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teenager who' s in high school. A few months ago he had a

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girlfriend and just last night he tells
me he' s dating a guy.

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He took me by surprise. I
greatly appreciate the confidence you have in me.

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The detail is that your dad and
his whole family are extremely homophobic and

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I' m concerned about the reaction
they might have toward my son. I

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didn' t give it to her
anymore I didn' t ask her if

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she' d tell her dad.
Or we don' t live with their

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dad and the relationship between them is
not very good, because they collide a

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lot. So I' m worried
about what might happen Look. No doubt

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about it. These times are times
when the kids who can go through these

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situations that somehow make them change in
relation to where their sexual orientation is directed

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and all the openness that there is
today makes that, unlike before, people

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kept quiet, said nothing and lived
it with a terrible terror, today they

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can express much more clearly. I
don' t know if your child is

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bisexual or not, or this is
just part of a temporary circumstance where he

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' s trying to clarify what'
s going on with him and his ideas

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and his sexual orientation. The truth
is, we don' t know where

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he' s going. And the
point is that, beyond how others react,

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it is very important that you be
very clear in telling him how much

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you want him, the support he
will always have from you and that the

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orientation you can give him goes along
the same lines as how he would have

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to be prudent, careful and go
slowly if he is managed in a heterosexual

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relationship that in a homosexual relationship and
that they take clear consideration how, when

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and in what way private life is
made public. But not because of the

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issue of possible homosexuality or bisexuality,
but because, in general terms, we

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don' t have to be bragging
about everything that happens with us, when

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we' re just treating a person, dating a person, seeing whether or

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not we care about that person and
how far. And that we would always

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have to handle, both in heterosexual
relationships and in relationships they break you with

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the expectation we had. Note that
one of the issues that is very supportive

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of teen parents is the fact that
children, when they ask for permission or

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want to do something they say very
often is that they leave everyone less to

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me is that everyone has that new
cell phone and I am the only one

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that I don' t have and
can use these arguments in many circumstances and

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something has to be taken into consideration. Normal and common are not synonymous.

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Normal is what corresponds to a development
standard that tells us what kids are ready

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for, depending on how old they
are. The common thing is what tends

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to happen and not always. The
common and the normal are the same In

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many occasions and more today, when
it comes to adolescence, the common is

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not normal. Permissions to consume alcohol
before the appropriate age, release cell phone

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to children and adolescents in an absolute
way. Do not monitor your cell phone

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when you are growing. Everything that' s so common isn' t normal.

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Why, in general, women can
become afraid to be alone, when

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you really shouldn' t be afraid
to be alone, but you should be

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afraid to be in a bad relationship, because the bad relationship affects your self

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- esteem, your mental health,
your happiness. On the other hand,

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being alone can undoubtedly generate a desire
for accompaniment, to have someone to share

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with. But that doesn' t
diminish. Don' t be afraid of

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you as a person. So lose
her more fear of being alone, but

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I never lose her fear of being
in a bad relationship. You have to

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learn how to take care of yourself. I wish you could give us a

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reflection on forgiveness or how to forgive
to let go of all that It'

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s a brother, older brother relationship, and I' m the smallest and

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I' m the most damaged.
I idealized it and dropped the idealized one

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and passed away. My mother was
his consent. I was a primary caregiver.

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I was fine with her She'
s weird. I know it'

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s a duel, but I'
m mad at my older brother. That

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' s tough. How hard it
is when we live in circumstances of this

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nature, because as if it wasn' t enough, not the loss of

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your mommy looks. I' d
tell you a few things here. First

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you have to give yourself time.
There is no need to be in a

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hurry to reconcile, although ideally it
would be a purpose to achieve. We

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don' t have to be in
a hurry because we have to give our

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processes space. That first, second, you learned at a very complex moment,

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a very hard life lesson. No
one is ever equal to the idealization

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in which no one, absolutely no
one, puts us, because it does

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not exist. To just idealize is
to put the person too high or too

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far out of place for a lot
of things that one projects of wanting to

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believe in someone, to want to
think that perfection, to call it somehow,

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exists, that the goodness carried to
the extreme exists, that the values

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that we are seeing that person exist
in maximum space or in maximum possibility.

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And that' s not really possible. It' s not possible. We

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' re all human. Therefore,
we are all wrong. Let' s

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go the pain of the possible loss
of a loved one in very different ways.

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I don' t know specifically what
happened to your brother, but the

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truth is, if you' re
ever ready to talk to him or write

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him how you feel, don'
t offend him, don' t attack

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him, don' t assault him, talk about how you feel about what

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happened. Speaking in the first person
always facilitates, in addition to giving rise

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to an assertive and appropriate communication that, added to the pain of having lost

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your mother and having been a primary
caregiver, who always end up very worn

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out, very complex the process,
because they were giving and leaving a lot

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of their life side for being there
and sometimes they do not receive the recognition

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that should be received. And along
the way we begin to present situations that

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only serve as distractions so as not
to deal with pain in a clear,

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frank and punctual way. Forgiveness doesn' t mean forgetting. Forgiveness means adjusting

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and reaccommodating ourselves in front of whom
we find to be the person. Now

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look, because there is always a
passage of pendulum, that is, from

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this idealized becomes the worst person on
the planet. It' s not either.

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Okay, then give yourself time,
get in time, dedicate yourself to

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your duel and try to be as
good as possible. What do you have

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associated with loneliness, men and women. Eh has a bad reputation for loneliness

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And yet, loneliness is going to
live in a very different way, depending

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on how good company you are for
yourself or yourself because life is not about

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always being a couple, or always
being with friends, or always being accompanied.

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But it' s never about being
alone either. The problem is that

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we do a lot of nonsense to
run away from happiness and if you'

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re one of those who have bad
associations with loneliness, we' re going

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to end up getting into a lot
of trouble. So ask yourself, because

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it' s an important and serious
question. Well, it' s time

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to say goodbye. I' d
just add as a tip that when a

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son asks you something uncomfortable and you
don' t know how to answer,

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tell him as he looks, I
don' t know how to answer that.

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I need to see what it is
that I explain to you, give

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me a while, but do take
it and do answer it. Don'

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t avoid the question. With this
we arrive at the end of the program

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We hear tomorrow at the point of
one o' clock in the afternoon,

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in more than Chayo with you I
am lea, I seek until then. Audio Centre