WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:08.199 Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast buy work Busties for work Busties. 2 00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:13.199 Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia. 3 00:00:14.679 --> 00:00:18.199 We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to build 4 00:00:18.199 --> 00:00:23.120 the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being 5 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:26.280 a mom. How to get through a week without crying. Welcome to Buns 6 00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:33.000 and Banter. We're glad you're here. Okay, big deep breath, Not 7 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.320 too big of a breath, because I just breathed in. You caught me 8 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:40.039 as soon as I was coming in for the episode. Today, I've walked 9 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:44.280 into and breathed in a spiderweb in our studio, which is just so gross. 10 00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:49.880 And that's a studio that you use every single day, and there's nothing 11 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:53.600 worse than that to me, because you it's like glue or something. It's 12 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:56.479 like you can't get it all out of you. And now I just have 13 00:00:56.679 --> 00:01:00.880 this really awful phobia that somehow the spider got in me and it's just like 14 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:03.200 laying it's like somewhere in my body, like those really terrifying cartoons you saw 15 00:01:03.239 --> 00:01:07.959 as a kid. I thought that that was going to be way more of 16 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:14.120 a thing as an adult. Right. Spiders laying eggs in or around specifically 17 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:19.599 my ears, Yes, all the crevasses, but the ears flipped me out. 18 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:23.400 I still I will not sleep at night if all my holes aren't covered. 19 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:26.680 Oh, you don't seem naked ever. No, but like with a 20 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.680 comforter, oh, like I have to have and it has to be pulled 21 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:34.680 up right at my ears, I cannot. I just feel like there's always 22 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:38.239 things trying to crawl into you or get into you. Maybe that's a woman 23 00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:42.840 thing, you know. It was that And when I was little, my 24 00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:46.760 mom used to yell at us when we would like put hats on in the 25 00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:51.680 store. She'd be like, lice. Oh and still to this day. 26 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:55.000 And I'm a hat girly. I love a hat. Yes, I am 27 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:57.239 trying on the hats at the store before I buy them. I'm not buying 28 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:02.120 this because what happened between now, between the store and the home. What 29 00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:06.439 is magically going to clean this hat? I'm just gonna put it on my 30 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:08.719 head, right, I suppose I could lice all them. But yeah, 31 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:12.120 that was a big thing for my mom when we were kids. You don't 32 00:02:12.120 --> 00:02:15.000 put hats on at the store because they could have lice. I love that. 33 00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:20.639 I just walking into a spider web that devolved into our childhood phobius. 34 00:02:20.680 --> 00:02:23.240 I felt the same thing about watermelons. If you accidentally ate a seed, 35 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:30.319 you'd grow on in your belly. This story is really messed up. This 36 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:36.199 is such a messed up story. But this is my childhood. My dad, 37 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:39.080 when I was little, told me that if I ate the stems of 38 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:47.680 broccoli, i'd grow boy parts work. Yeah, oh no, yeah, 39 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:52.639 So for like as a child, terrified, terrified, Oh my god, 40 00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:55.840 terrified. But yeah, I don't I think like maybe he said it like 41 00:02:55.879 --> 00:02:59.080 once as a joke and it was just one of those things that like, 42 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:01.879 he probably doesn't remember, but you're a sponge, but as a kid, 43 00:03:02.879 --> 00:03:07.240 yep, yeah, yes, Or maybe he never told me that at all, 44 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:12.360 and I dreamed the whole thing up. Where in the world you had 45 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.840 to have heard that somewhere that your subconscious wouldn't have just made that up. 46 00:03:15.879 --> 00:03:19.599 I don't know. Kids say wild stuff though. Were you a bus rider? 47 00:03:19.960 --> 00:03:23.759 I heard the craziest stuff on the bus. I was a short, 48 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:29.159 short lived my bus rider experienced because I used to fall asleep on the bus 49 00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:32.879 and that was fine at the end of the day because my sister also rode 50 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:36.319 the bus with me so she could wake me up. But when my sister 51 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:38.759 went to middle school and I was still in elementary school, then it became 52 00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:43.039 a problem. There were more than one occasions where the bus driver was like, 53 00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:45.800 on the way back to the bus garage, like, holy shit, 54 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:51.400 there's a kid in the back. So then I started I started getting ride 55 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:58.960 home. Oh my heard so speaking of sponges, I think I need to 56 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:03.080 start making this a bit in every episode because my children just hear things and 57 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:08.479 decide on the most inopportune times to bring them up. Oh yes, I 58 00:04:08.599 --> 00:04:10.879 love it, and like I have a five year old and a two year 59 00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:12.520 old. If you're not, I have five year old son, tow year 60 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:18.360 old daughter, and my son Will is just such a chatterbox and lives for 61 00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:25.079 making new relationships. So the other day, the lovely gentleman from DTE we're 62 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:29.560 at our house, ah doing some gas meter upgrades, and I was like, 63 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:31.920 perfect, beautiful day. We'll go outside with the kids, so they're 64 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:34.199 like out of the way of you know, whatever worth they need to get 65 00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:38.439 done. And Will has gotten very into climbing trees and so we have this 66 00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:42.079 really great tree in our front yard, good climbing tree. For the first 67 00:04:42.079 --> 00:04:45.720 time he was able to climb up at himself. So he like got the 68 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.040 tree that you posted the picture of that man is such a cute picture, 69 00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:51.759 by the way, go look at it on Schmidy's social media. Schmidt in 70 00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:55.879 the mit, thank you it was. That was a good one. So 71 00:04:55.959 --> 00:04:59.120 he climbs on that tree, gets this little spot and he's five rights. 72 00:04:59.160 --> 00:05:02.160 So he's like, this is the tallest I've ever been in my whole life. 73 00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:04.839 And I was like, oh cool, dude, Like what can you 74 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:09.040 see up there? He's like, I can probably see downtown, like, 75 00:05:09.319 --> 00:05:13.680 you know, just so excited. Then he waits for the DTE guys, 76 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:17.600 complete strangers. It's not like we're in there making conversation with them to leave 77 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:19.480 our house. The guys like, you guys are all set, thank you 78 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:23.600 so much, and Will goes, hey, you see me up of this 79 00:05:23.720 --> 00:05:26.839 tree, and they're very friendly and they're like, oh yeah, buddy, 80 00:05:26.920 --> 00:05:30.160 you're so high up there. He goes, I'm really tall. It's cool. 81 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.879 You know, I've got My mom would would probably sit up here and 82 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:40.360 drink wine because we couldn't find her. Wow, would I climbing a tree 83 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:47.079 lead to mom's drinking situations? Has there been a situation drink wine in a 84 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:51.079 tree but at a treehouse? Has there been a situation where you've been drinking 85 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:56.879 wine and hiding from them, because that's what it sounds like. I yes, 86 00:05:57.279 --> 00:06:00.560 maybe on the regular, but I do again. I looked at him 87 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:05.879 and I'm like, buddy, that's that's an inside the house conversation. And 88 00:06:05.959 --> 00:06:10.879 the DTE guys like, that's okay. I think we're gonna see a lot 89 00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:15.399 of families stay that like to drink wine and trees because they're just like up 90 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.399 and down the neighborhood doing their work. And I'm just every I could have 91 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:24.800 one every single week for things that my kids say, Oh will Love's point 92 00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:28.439 when I could be having water in a water bottle, like back from a 93 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:30.720 run, Not that I would ever, but could be, And I'll go, 94 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:34.319 Mom, looks like wine. Yeah, that's not only due. That's 95 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:39.879 I am a contributing member of society. It's just when you see me, 96 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:43.639 I'm off the clock and I'm just having a sip. And what you do 97 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:46.879 off the clock is your own business. And I'm still a great parent. 98 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:51.519 You are but I love that his view of me is hiding in a tree 99 00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:56.439 with like my bottle of barefoot. Yeah, we're making this a bit. 100 00:06:56.560 --> 00:07:00.439 It's gonna be shit the little schmidy say, Oh my god, shit from 101 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:02.879 the little Schmidt Yep, yes, yeah, he's full of it. So 102 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:09.040 that was a really lovely shout out to Mark and Jordan from DTE. Got 103 00:07:09.079 --> 00:07:11.360 to meet them after the weird wine comment, because then I felt like that 104 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:14.319 was something I shouldn't let just lie there. I was like, I'm not 105 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.439 you don't need to call anyone. I'm not gonna sit this tree and drink 106 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:20.199 wine, have a great day. Do you tell people that come to your 107 00:07:20.199 --> 00:07:23.959 house, like contractors or DTE men, like, do you tell them what 108 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.079 you do? No? I don't either, because it does it like ever 109 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:30.519 come up. It's come up for me a few times because they will specifically 110 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:31.959 ask like, oh, so what do you do for a living, And 111 00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:35.079 I can't. I can't tell at that point if they're asking that, if 112 00:07:35.079 --> 00:07:41.120 they're like leading, trying to lead because they already know, or if they're 113 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:45.040 really just like curious, like do they ask everybody? Right? Probably like 114 00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:46.560 to make small talk? I think, yeah, I've not been asked very 115 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:49.279 often. I think they're weird and more weird about that, like you're home 116 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:54.160 during the day, because that's probably not normal for the like appointments they have. 117 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.680 Yeah, but what do you say? I always say work in marketing. 118 00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.240 I say I work in media. Yeah I can't, or oh I 119 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:03.959 worked downtown. That kind of like just get really, I don't know, 120 00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:09.079 I don't know, and it's we're probably really overthinking this, although we're not 121 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:16.319 because we were talking about stalker stories just a couple yeah days ago. Yeah, 122 00:08:16.360 --> 00:08:20.680 and there have been some some pretty serious incidents that have happened with different 123 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:24.720 media personnel in gren Rapids. But I try to be as broad as possible 124 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.000 and also on the dating apps too. It always freaks me out when people 125 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.039 are like, what do you do for a living? If you pointedly ask 126 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:35.960 me what I do for a living, I'll say like, oh, I 127 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:37.759 work in media, and then if you keep pushing, I will tell you. 128 00:08:39.320 --> 00:08:43.519 And then the ones who get like really excited about it, it's a 129 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:48.240 red flag. Oh, I'm so glad you brought this up, because you 130 00:08:48.279 --> 00:08:50.960 didn't even I came in here like blaze and hot about this because I saw 131 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:56.080 this article today and it thought it'd be really interesting to talk about a dating 132 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:01.399 expert has run down the top ten red flags in a relationship. Oh yes, 133 00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:05.399 oh yes, I'm sure you're not going to be any of these. 134 00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:09.879 Not You're not, I not us. I am one giant walking red flag 135 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:15.360 any one of my ex boyfriends. Okay, so this, oh, this 136 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:20.360 is going to get controversial. So this is relationship expert Jake Maddock, to 137 00:09:20.440 --> 00:09:24.840 be fair, grain assault because it also says he's a self described dating expert. 138 00:09:24.919 --> 00:09:28.399 Okay, that was my next question. Why what makes him an expert? 139 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:31.759 He's just been on a lot of dates. Oh yeah, perfect, 140 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:35.120 he's a backtrack bumble if you didn't see last week's episode, Oh, I 141 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:39.080 have an update on that. Okay, So we're gonna go through the flags 142 00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:41.840 and then see this is beautiful. So he's revealed one of the biggest red 143 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:45.440 flags. And I think this is something a lot of couples talk about. 144 00:09:45.840 --> 00:09:50.720 Not wanting to have sex with your partner is an immediate flag to leave the 145 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:54.639 relationship. Well yeah, but that that takes time to get to that point. 146 00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:58.039 I see, right, I don't think and I and by that point 147 00:09:58.080 --> 00:10:05.480 I might not even know I would notice what I notice I don't know this 148 00:10:05.559 --> 00:10:11.399 is gonna be so fantastic. Next up, bad communication, Yes, total 149 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:20.399 and complete red flag I and not even in terms of like you undercommunicate or 150 00:10:20.440 --> 00:10:26.799 you overcommunicate, but sometimes your style of communication, yes, is not jelling 151 00:10:28.519 --> 00:10:33.120 with your partner. I've been in relationships where I'm a very communicative person and 152 00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:35.879 my partner is as well. But the ways in which we communicate with each 153 00:10:35.879 --> 00:10:41.240 other. I've had a therapist actually tell me and a partner like, you 154 00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:46.399 guys are living in two different worlds, Like you're communicating, but you might 155 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:52.480 you might as well be. You are speaking different languages when you communicate with 156 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:56.480 each other. And that was so frustrating, and the relationship obviously did not 157 00:10:56.600 --> 00:11:00.559 survive. Was it eye opening slightly in a good way where You're like, 158 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:03.440 I would never I would never have thought of it like that. It was 159 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:11.639 a huge relief because I do consider myself a good communicator. I would consider 160 00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:13.879 that as a friend of yours. I think you're a good communicator, thank 161 00:11:13.879 --> 00:11:16.840 you very much. So that's a very nice compliment to me. It shouldn't 162 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:20.000 be. Yeah, And to have someone that I'm in a relationship with like 163 00:11:20.039 --> 00:11:24.279 the person you care the most about in the world tell you that you are 164 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:28.440 a shitty communicator and like you're not doing it right and you suck at it 165 00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:33.399 was a huge mind like absolutely, it was just it was a moment where 166 00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:37.440 I was like, oh my god, have I sucked it this the whole 167 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:41.720 time? And I just didn't know, like, am I delusional? And 168 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:43.919 then for a therapist to be like, no, you're actually a really good 169 00:11:43.919 --> 00:11:50.159 communicator and you have like very good insight. You just start speaking two different 170 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.399 languages. Both of you are, but like slightly in your mind were like 171 00:11:52.600 --> 00:11:58.679 I knew that you were the problem. Maybe a little again, We're just 172 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:03.679 really good at all the things. Oh number three A lack of chemistry totally, 173 00:12:05.399 --> 00:12:07.559 I have to be I think that gets lost a lot of time in 174 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:11.559 the conversation because you don't want to sound like a ship person. But it's 175 00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:16.480 okay that you want to feel attracted and turned on by a person like personality. 176 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:20.120 Is not all of it? Is that terrible to say? No, 177 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:26.840 that is not terrible to say. However, you could be a beauty queen. 178 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:31.200 I mean terrible And if there ain't nothing going on behind those eyes, 179 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:35.320 yeah, I am not attracted to you. I'm not No I know we've 180 00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:41.879 met. I call them the glass dolls. Just a little lights are on 181 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:46.120 nobody home not sure. Yeah, guys and girls alike. Because I'll be 182 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:48.600 the first to admit one of the biggest things that attracted me to my now 183 00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:52.360 husband his hair. Oh he has great hair. I dated that frow hard 184 00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:58.039 real good. Yeah, this is a really interesting one. Different life goals, 185 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:01.960 immediate red flag and the relationship. Yes, I don't know. I 186 00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:07.200 just kids, career stuff, and it's I don't think that these are red 187 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:15.399 flags that you should necessarily take personally, you know, like a red flag 188 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:18.519 that maybe you should take personally, like you're a bad person. Like maybe 189 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:20.240 if they tell you, like you have to be a certain weight in order 190 00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:24.519 to date me, oh like that that would indicate that you're just like a 191 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:28.440 shitty person. Yes, But having different life goals in someone like I just 192 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:33.039 think that's a difference of um, Like, that's not anything to take personal. 193 00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:37.120 Like I wouldn't take that personally if someone was like, no, my 194 00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:43.000 five year plan is literally to own a castle, and I'd be interested in 195 00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:46.399 that relationship. That's not that's not my life goal. That's not I don't 196 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:48.519 think this is gonna work do you see Are you someone that sees life goals 197 00:13:48.519 --> 00:13:52.279 being able to change, Like, let's specifically talk the example of kids. 198 00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:58.440 I have seen so many relationships go on for so long and then it gets 199 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:00.399 to the point and it's like, well, I thought you're gonna change your 200 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:03.679 mind and the other person's like, I told you from the start, it 201 00:14:03.799 --> 00:14:05.559 was never going to change my mind about that. I don't want children, 202 00:14:07.080 --> 00:14:11.120 or I do want children. This is an ender for me, Like, 203 00:14:11.159 --> 00:14:13.279 if you don't, we need to be done. Like I had really good 204 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:18.639 friends that broke up after eight years over that, and she was just super 205 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:20.480 She was like, I'm sorry, I told you from the start. Didn't 206 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:22.799 feel like I was designed to be a mom, didn't want to be a 207 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:26.440 mom. You were down with that, And he just thought she would change 208 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:30.039 her mind or her friends would start having children and she would feel like that's 209 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:33.600 what she wanted to do. And she's like, no, I'm super sorry. 210 00:14:33.799 --> 00:14:37.080 It sucks. We've been together almost a decade, but I'm not going 211 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:39.440 to selfishly keep dating you when you want to be a dad and I don't 212 00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:43.440 want to be a mom. Wow, I think there's some life goals that 213 00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:50.679 I don't think change, right, I think Carre right, it's interesting in 214 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:54.200 our business when I saw that one, I think it can be very challenging 215 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:58.480 to meet, to date and stay with someone in media because a lot of 216 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:01.120 this job. We're both very lucky to have gotten jobs in a city we 217 00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:05.399 love and have stayed this long because a lot of our colleagues it's you bounce 218 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:09.159 around. You're constantly looking for either a bigger market or better pay or a 219 00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:13.480 new opportunity. And when you're taking like a family along with that too, 220 00:15:13.679 --> 00:15:20.679 I've seen marriages break for that. Yes that's hard. Yes, yeah, 221 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.639 that is extremely hard, and there are just some jobs that are tougher to 222 00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:28.399 make a relationship work. I often think of jobs where people are on the 223 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:33.159 road all the time. Yeah, like traveling sales. I don't know what 224 00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:35.720 else that would be, or like touring musicians or artists. Like I live 225 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:39.440 next to a truck driver. He's on the road like two hundred days a 226 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:46.240 year. Yeah, that's a lot of You've got to really find the person 227 00:15:46.360 --> 00:15:50.840 who is comfortable being alone, and then your schedules match up so that when 228 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:54.720 you are home you can spend that quality time together. Because that's a huge 229 00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:58.799 thing for me, is quality time, So that would be you're taking care 230 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:04.600 of a lot of your own needs. H'm saying general lack of effort about 231 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:11.320 old Schmidty would have gotten dirtier there, new Schmitty. She's a mom now, 232 00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:14.960 guys, but she can still get it. And I'm going to make 233 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:18.039 her tell me the dirtier things she was thinking of. After this, he 234 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.279 says, another big red flag, general lack of effort and not being able 235 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:26.080 to meet your needs where they're at. Absolutely, I have a brilliant friend. 236 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:29.919 She's a flight attendant, Amanda, shout out to you. She does 237 00:16:29.960 --> 00:16:34.799 listen. I love that. Yes, And her dad gave her amazing advice, 238 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:41.240 and he said, when you are dating someone, that is the best 239 00:16:41.639 --> 00:16:48.600 the relationship. In theory should be you should be on your best behavior when 240 00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:52.879 you're dating someone, because chances are the relationship probably isn't going to get easier 241 00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:57.679 as time goes on. Yeah, They're only going to be added layers of 242 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:03.799 complication. Right, So if that initial effort and that foundation is not laid 243 00:17:03.359 --> 00:17:11.720 strong in the beginning, bye, Wow. She told me that, and 244 00:17:11.720 --> 00:17:15.319 I'd like a gut punch advice. I had a full epiphany. I had 245 00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:19.480 a full epiphany. So those those guys that you match with on the apps 246 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:22.960 that like you just like it never makes it out of the chat, Like 247 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.200 you talk about meeting up, and you talk about meeting up, and then 248 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:30.160 you exchange numbers and you text about meeting up, but you just like are 249 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:34.079 both busy and can't find the time to know it's never in real life. 250 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:40.519 Done with those done. That was a hype moment, Like if you can't 251 00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:48.400 even prioritize a first date, so that's well, that's a good one. 252 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:52.039 Yeah, I like that a lot. This is an interesting one. They 253 00:17:52.240 --> 00:18:00.000 don't care about protecting your relationship and you're not improving together. Two and three 254 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:03.359 on the list What does protecting a relationship mean to you? So I was 255 00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:07.960 I was thinking about that one, and I thought, I think I'm very 256 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:11.160 guilty of this, and it's a really, really tough thing to admit to 257 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:17.480 myself. I don't think I protect my relationship as well as I should, 258 00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:22.039 because I think I prioritize a lot more over my relationship. Like what that's 259 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.759 work outside. You're gonna say, well that's different. See look, but 260 00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:32.480 see that you we're programmed that way. There's there's so many times where like 261 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:37.319 I'll miss picking up my son from school, and it's his most favorite part 262 00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:38.799 of the day. He told me that repeatedly. I love when you pick 263 00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:42.359 me up from school. And it's only like a four minute drive from his 264 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:45.359 school to our house, but he likes to talk to me about what he 265 00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:48.960 did that day, and it's just him and me, one on one time. 266 00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:52.799 That is so sweet. It is so sweet. But I can't tell 267 00:18:52.839 --> 00:18:56.440 you how many times, like I'm calling my husband, who is like also 268 00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.440 in the middle of something and going, oh, something came up, can 269 00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:03.039 you pick up? Or you know, we had something planned, you know, 270 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:06.839 that afternoon for Chris and I to do, and I'm sitting on my 271 00:19:06.920 --> 00:19:11.000 phone putting up like a social post for something I need to do, or 272 00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:15.200 working ahead for possible conversations to have on my morning shows the next day. 273 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:18.880 I don't think that's protecting your relationship because I would see that as the other 274 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:26.039 person just going I guess I'll just make your dinner and pull down the bed 275 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:30.880 sheets for whenever you decide to come to bed, And like, I think 276 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:34.960 I'm really really bad about that. I mean, I relate. It's hard. 277 00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:40.279 It's hard because we're career driven women and this is when like this is 278 00:19:40.279 --> 00:19:42.160 when people will say that in a negative way. Yeah, right, Like, 279 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.640 well you're not prioritizing your family. Where are you? Where are your 280 00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:49.000 kids? Why are you never with them? Yeah that moment. I went 281 00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:53.720 on a couple dates with a guy and we were talking about past relationships, 282 00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:57.960 which I don't think is super taboo to do. I know a lot of 283 00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:00.519 people are like, oh, talk about your ex is on a date. 284 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:06.400 I want to know everything. I want to know everything, and then I 285 00:20:06.440 --> 00:20:10.160 want to know what you heard, because it's always good. But he was 286 00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.960 talking about his last relationship was hard because he considered his ex to be a 287 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:23.319 workaholic. Yeah, And I was like, oh shit, hi, because 288 00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:26.000 and that's one thing that I wish I was better at. I just have 289 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:34.480 not figured out or mastered how to work a set schedule with this job and 290 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:37.759 then like shut it down and have the other part of your day. Yeah, 291 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:42.160 we obviously have our shows in the morning that are this time to this 292 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:45.799 time, but then there are other things that come up throughout the day, 293 00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:52.160 like a social post that we might need to do or which we could schedule 294 00:20:52.680 --> 00:20:56.720 that stuff out, Like there are solutions to some of these problems, but 295 00:20:56.759 --> 00:21:00.200 it's just not a perfect world. That's my daying life Mond, you know, 296 00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:03.720 And maybe it's lazy to think that way, but it's like, yeah, 297 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:07.559 I could schedule out, but where am I doing that work? During 298 00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:11.680 a show, during the recording of commercials, during meetings, you know, 299 00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:15.599 while we're sitting on the couch watching whatever, Bluey, But I have to 300 00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:19.440 read the subtitles. I can't be on my phone. True, you see 301 00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:27.319 so many exams that I'm not a relationship. Okay, it's okay, I've 302 00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:33.440 I've had my own like epiphany moments in the last few months too. I 303 00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:36.680 think we talked about this on maybe two or three episodes ago. I'm trying 304 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:40.200 to put everything I do in my life through a filter of will this matter 305 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:44.039 in five minutes, five months, five years, And like, in a 306 00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:47.880 very morbid way, a lot of what I do is will I care about 307 00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:52.160 this on my deathbed? But here's my hang up with that is that in 308 00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:55.960 the moment I'm like, yep, I'm going to remember this forever, this 309 00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:02.079 one is in there, and bolt lie. Literally five minutes later, I'm 310 00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:07.880 like, huh, I do not care about that, you know. Yeah, 311 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:11.119 That's what I'm trying is like my my at night anxiety. That's where 312 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.680 I've really been doing it. I'm like looking ahead to all the things the 313 00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.519 next day, and I'm freaking out, and I'm like, are you going 314 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:19.279 to think about this on your deathbed? Probably? Probably? So I'm just 315 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.640 having a hard time, like even running things through that filter. I'm like, 316 00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:27.440 how can I be sure? How can I be sure? Thank God, 317 00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:30.319 we are the same. We're going to live together and our old age 318 00:22:30.599 --> 00:22:34.559 after all the people around us have died, and we're just gonna we're gonna 319 00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:41.640 thrive in our anxiety were and we're gonna be like remember that time. I 320 00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:45.279 think we'd remember it, And look we're still thinking about it. Yeah, 321 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:49.480 let's have more wine. Yeah. Last one I want to do on this 322 00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:53.799 list because I thought this was very strange and there's no real, no real 323 00:22:53.839 --> 00:23:00.119 explanation on this one reason to leave your relationship red flag. If they can 324 00:23:00.519 --> 00:23:07.240 live without you? Oh, I had that same reaction. Oh I can, 325 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:14.720 I mean I can live without anybody. It feels codependent, doesn't it. 326 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:18.880 Like I think I get really sad when I think about like Chris dying 327 00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:23.960 like an in a shocking way, or at a younger age than I'd like, 328 00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:27.759 or whatever, right, but you would survive. I think I could 329 00:23:27.799 --> 00:23:32.000 survive. I don't know that you'd thrive. How would you eat? I 330 00:23:32.039 --> 00:23:36.160 wouldn't And that's probably what makes me more sad than like the loss of his 331 00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:41.000 companionship. No, I'll starve, but I don't. I don't know. 332 00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:44.960 It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to be with someone. And you're like, 333 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.799 I don't know what I would do if you ever left me. It's 334 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:51.599 a sweet thing to say, I don't know what I would do without you. 335 00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:56.599 I've never thought that was romantic. I'm like, I think at wedding 336 00:23:56.599 --> 00:24:02.160 crash or scene where it's like, don't run because mind you, I'm like, 337 00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:06.480 it does seems stage five clingery to me. Yeah, and then like 338 00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:08.480 freaks me out a little bit, like why do you need me so much? 339 00:24:10.359 --> 00:24:15.480 I don't like, don't write, don't It's nice to feel needed and 340 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:21.240 appreciated, Yeah, but I don't want to feel like you can't function and 341 00:24:21.319 --> 00:24:26.160 be a whole person. And if I die, like I'm going to haunt 342 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:29.759 you a little bit, and I want you to take some time and like 343 00:24:30.119 --> 00:24:33.799 grieve me. I was amazing, but then probably move on a little bit, 344 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.880 a little bit what's a little bit like if you I'm like Rip Schmidty, 345 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:45.680 the world lost an icon, sorrowful and prayer. Yeah, so sad. 346 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:51.559 Let's say five years later? Yeah, yeah, I think that's I 347 00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:55.480 think that's fine. Can you start dating? Can he can he remarry? 348 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:59.519 Oh? Man, See that's crazy. I don't think I could wrap my 349 00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:03.759 head around that. I don't think he would, not, not for anything 350 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:07.839 other than we talk all the time about how lazy we would be if we 351 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:11.160 lost the other one. I would I don't think I'd ever get back into 352 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:15.880 the tating world, don't. I think you listen to enough of this podcast 353 00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:21.720 if you're in a relationship, stick it out, which is so not something 354 00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:26.079 I would say normally part of the top ten red blacks, But it's brutal 355 00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:33.480 out here, like the reason there is a reason why so many millennials are 356 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:37.119 never going to get married and they are going to end up single, and 357 00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:49.359 it's because it is such a vast wasteland of decay and just a general lack 358 00:25:49.400 --> 00:25:55.599 of optimism, which checks out right for the millennials. Yea, it really 359 00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:59.079 does. Could be another once in a generation event, please, Yeah, 360 00:25:59.160 --> 00:26:03.480 and like we can do everything alone? Now, what is so, but 361 00:26:03.559 --> 00:26:06.440 the other side of that, I don't disagree, and that's what I hear 362 00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:08.319 from from you and a couple of my other friends in the dating world. 363 00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:12.839 So what happened to the other people out there in the millennial generation? Like 364 00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:17.759 why are there's so many f boys and people that are just like poo poo 365 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:22.279 poo, Like why don't they want to get married? Or why are like 366 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:26.680 you when you've been ghosted and stuff by guys that seem really really great? 367 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:30.400 Yeah, why is like there's so much of that when it feels like the 368 00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:33.759 other half of the generations like, guys, we're just trying to be kind 369 00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:38.680 and have a nice time. My genuine opinion on this is that dating apps 370 00:26:38.839 --> 00:26:45.240 have made it so that anyone is attainable. There's always going to be a 371 00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:49.480 next one. Oh so if it doesn't work out with this one, I'll 372 00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:53.359 just go on the app and find another one, so less effort being put 373 00:26:53.400 --> 00:27:00.960 in. Yeah, And I think that it gives you the illusion that there 374 00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:07.759 is there's always something else out there, so you're always like you're constantly seeking 375 00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:12.440 because there is so much, there's so much abundance, like there are so 376 00:27:12.519 --> 00:27:18.160 many I'd never thought of it that way, but it does sound correct. 377 00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.319 It's like, what do they say, shooting fish in apparel? Yes, 378 00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:27.839 yes, stop doing that, stop being that way. But it's it's it's 379 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:33.400 totally. It's kind of crazy too, because it's like these people, these 380 00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:37.039 are people who and this has happened to me recently, So this is what 381 00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:41.160 I'm basing this on. When I was ghosted, like that guy was taught 382 00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:45.039 he was he wanted to get married, he wanted to have kids. He 383 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.960 wasn't saying like he wanted to marry me, but we were just talking about 384 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:52.960 life goals, like what does your life look like? He wanted to get 385 00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:56.519 married, he wanted to have kids, he wanted to settle down, but 386 00:27:56.599 --> 00:28:00.680 like actively not doing any of those things, which just feels, i mean 387 00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:03.839 right, just feels like talk like, oh, this is what I'm supposed 388 00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:10.319 to say, because oh but I like that, and I don't necessarily know 389 00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:14.680 that he's out there like ghosting a bunch of women like he did ghost me, 390 00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:17.680 but we like that could just be because he wasn't into me, like 391 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:22.119 maybe I wasn't event well, a different topic for a different day, but 392 00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:26.960 maybe you feel so good about myself I have. It's what we're here to 393 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:30.400 do. And also it's all true. Maybe this is the problem you're giving 394 00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:34.119 me such an inflated ego. Never but I'm out of here with these wild, 395 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:38.880 unrealistic expectations. Bring me on your next day and I will just hype 396 00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:45.160 from like I am a catch. She can't understand why you haven't wiped me 397 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:53.359 yet because I'm sweet. So I've been waiting to hear about the bumble backtrack 398 00:28:53.920 --> 00:29:00.960 the update. Oh my god, was it a thrilling time? Oh this 399 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:07.519 guy ilbeit a couple of hours like only so I'm time though. Spoiler alert, 400 00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:11.359 so in case you need to be caught up on this situation. I 401 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:15.599 recently matched with someone on a dating app who I had matched with before and 402 00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:19.720 it didn't end well and I couldn't really remember why. I remember they had 403 00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:26.039 said something to me that I didn't like, and then we just like never 404 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:32.240 talked again, and then rematched on this dating app, which I didn't even 405 00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:37.559 know it was possible, which I was like, I can't figure out if 406 00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:41.000 he knows that and he's trying to get back in which is what we talked 407 00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:48.119 about on the last episode, or if he just doesn't remember I thought he 408 00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:52.000 was trying to get back in. I think he didn't remember, but we'll 409 00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:59.160 never know because it ended very abruptly. He messaged me. I messaged him 410 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:00.640 back, and I just I'd like, hey, I've had a browse of 411 00:30:00.680 --> 00:30:07.680 your profile, and it just seems that there are some conflicting sentiments on the 412 00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:14.839 profile, like what, Well, it says you are looking for a girl 413 00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:19.079 who wants more than attention, But when it says what type of relationship you're 414 00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:25.519 looking for, it says something short term and something casual, so completely opposite 415 00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:29.480 things, wouldn't That's how I interpret it it? Yes? And he said, 416 00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:32.799 well, how do you interpret a girl looking for more than just attention? 417 00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:37.079 And I said, well, to me, that says you're looking for 418 00:30:37.480 --> 00:30:42.400 some sort of vulnerability to be shared in, like a connection, Like you're 419 00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:47.799 not just looking for a pen pal or someone to like check in with, 420 00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:51.599 you know, like not someone to just send a picture too, and then 421 00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:55.200 be like, oh my god, hot, pick right just like that. 422 00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:59.799 Yes, And he was like, and you can't do that in a short 423 00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:03.880 term casual relationship. What does a short term casual relationship mean to you? 424 00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:07.839 And I was very forward. I said, in my opinion, you don't 425 00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:12.680 really dig super deep in a short term casual relationship, and to me that 426 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:17.279 means like hookups, Like you're looking for hookups. Yeah. I think it's 427 00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:22.279 a very respectful way saying I'm just here to I'm just DTF and there's nothing 428 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:25.880 wrong with her. That's what you're looking for, and you're being honest about 429 00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:30.400 it. That's okay, that's not what I'm looking for at the moment, 430 00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:34.640 but it's up to you. So after I sent him my little synopsis and 431 00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:45.960 interpretations of the questions that he asked me, immediately unmatched me. Immediately I 432 00:31:45.079 --> 00:31:49.400 laughed out loud, Oh, out loud. He was, I mean, 433 00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:56.039 like he was cute too. Yeah. So it was like he couldn't interesting 434 00:31:56.960 --> 00:32:00.599 and this is meant as a compliment. He couldn't handle you. Like now, 435 00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:04.599 now I feel like whatever he said, a girl not looking for attention, 436 00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:08.079 short term whatever he was looking for. One of the doll had the 437 00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:13.240 doll faces, Like I said, pretty maybe not a lot going on upstairs. 438 00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:15.480 The fact that you said all that back and he's like, oh, 439 00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:19.279 I can't even read something. I'm taking liberties here. I can't even read 440 00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.799 some of those big words. Is what I take that as. Yeah, 441 00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:25.039 And it was, and now that I think about it, like I was 442 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:30.039 really psychoanalyzing and like using a lot of those well, because this wasn't your 443 00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:37.680 first time a relationship that prioritizes physical intimacy, Like I actually typed that out 444 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:43.480 and sent it, So that's kind of doche now that I'm no never, 445 00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:47.160 I'm just you're a woman that knows what she wants, and it really second 446 00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:52.640 time he's wanted to do. Well, oh the bumble backtrack. I just 447 00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:57.319 wonder, like what they think when they see pictures, because you can pictures 448 00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:00.000 are worth a thousand words. Yeah, And I I'm sure I'm not alone 449 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:06.319 in this. When I see someone's profile, I absolutely create a narrative of 450 00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.640 who I think this person is in my head, just based on their photos. 451 00:33:08.839 --> 00:33:14.839 And then sometimes you talk to these people and you're like flop dud, 452 00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:19.839 Yeah, and that's okay, that's okay what it's for. But it's my 453 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:24.880 own insanity. It's my own version of them that I create. And then 454 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:28.559 when they don't live up to that, I'm like, oh, I'm disappointed, 455 00:33:29.519 --> 00:33:32.039 Like, oh, I wonder why I just can't the fact that he 456 00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:37.920 immediately was just like wow, I literally meant for you to text back like 457 00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:43.519 an I know right or something like that. Can't handle it by good bye? 458 00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:45.559 Backtrack. Yeah, I gotta be able to have a conversation with you, 459 00:33:46.759 --> 00:33:50.480 because think about it, that's the other when I was looking through those 460 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:52.759 red flags, I'm like, somebody you can live without, Like we were 461 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:59.720 just talking about, Oh my gosh, is it not so painful when like 462 00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:05.880 a couple becomes empty nesters and realize they have nothing in common. It's my 463 00:34:05.880 --> 00:34:08.400 biggest fear. I know. That's why I like you. Still you still 464 00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:13.000 have to do stuff like when you have kids or whatever it is, or 465 00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:19.239 you're busy schedules, because I mean these like divorced seventy year olds that are 466 00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:22.079 like, while our last kid moved out like five years ago, and it 467 00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:25.039 turns out we hate each other, like we just we have nothing to talk 468 00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:29.400 about, we have nothing to do because our entire relationship has been devoted to 469 00:34:29.440 --> 00:34:32.199 like children or work. Yep, you've got to have You've got to be 470 00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:37.760 able to have the conversations, the fun times, the battles. Yeah, 471 00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:40.679 I like. I like that. I think it's you know, it's refreshing, 472 00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:47.760 It gets things out. You can't just backtrack bumble would have been an 473 00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:55.119 absolute disaster, man. Yeah, but I mean it was. It was 474 00:34:55.199 --> 00:35:00.760 kind of a crazy two hours because I really wasn't expecting a lot out of 475 00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:05.599 it. Like I really wanted to just figure out if he had known that 476 00:35:05.639 --> 00:35:10.000 we had matched before or like he really didn't a little bit guilty and that 477 00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:15.280 like it was kind of a content swipe, if you will, which should 478 00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:19.199 never make you feel guilty. It's for our audience, it's for you. 479 00:35:19.559 --> 00:35:22.679 Yeah, that was a great swipe. So but and then like there was 480 00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:30.400 also an element of like, oh, rejected again. I'm not super like 481 00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:37.000 busted up about it, right, but I'm just I'm offering my services the 482 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:40.440 next time you have like a dinner date. I will just sit in the 483 00:35:40.440 --> 00:35:44.639 booth across the way and every so often be like, ah, but like, 484 00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:49.320 since amazing, it's not me, right, it's not because that at 485 00:35:49.320 --> 00:35:52.320 a certain point, I'm gonna have to take a good, long, hard 486 00:35:52.360 --> 00:36:00.440 look in the mirror and be like, we're not that denominator strongly dis agree, 487 00:36:00.599 --> 00:36:06.719 as does everyone zero chance it's you die on that hill. Well that 488 00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:12.119 makes me feel a little bit better for now. For now, that's all 489 00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:14.280 we can do. We'll see, we'll see how it goes to do. 490 00:36:15.239 --> 00:36:22.320 So, speaking of like recurring bits, yes, we're going to add I 491 00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:28.519 liked what was it the Schmidt talking shit? Yeah, yeah, we're going 492 00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:30.079 to add that in. I like it because my two year old can't talk 493 00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:35.880 yet. But when she really really can wait for it, because her eyes 494 00:36:36.559 --> 00:36:40.039 and her body language already hurts my feelings. So when she matches words with 495 00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:43.719 that. But my five year old is just so kind and wonderful. Then 496 00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:47.039 when he says things that aren't it really is funny because he doesn't realize he's 497 00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:52.519 doing it. The best character analysis of your children that I have ever seen 498 00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:58.400 in video form on your social media is the video of Sophia stealing Will's food. 499 00:36:58.639 --> 00:37:02.760 Oh my god, did you see she has no shame? Not only 500 00:37:02.760 --> 00:37:07.559 did I see it, but I was like, this is this is these 501 00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:10.960 are this is them, this is their essence yep. And Will's just sitting 502 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:16.880 there like and so reach writer get and she makes it a whole thing. 503 00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:21.079 She's like on her knees, She's like, hold on, I can't, 504 00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:25.760 I can't quite, and then just all the food, Yeah, I love, 505 00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:31.000 I love, and then the eyes like I did absolutely nothing wrong. 506 00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:36.039 There. It was in my vicinity. Yeah, yeah, that's gonna be 507 00:37:36.159 --> 00:37:37.800 it's gonna be real eye opening. Yeah, it's gonna make you want to 508 00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:43.079 have kids. When't you find that person in life? If ever, if 509 00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:50.199 I ever do find anyone. Um changing the subject back to reoccurring bits, 510 00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:55.239 because I got so much feedback last week about our sweaty feet hmm, a 511 00:37:55.239 --> 00:37:58.599 lot of our listeners. I'm so sorry, really quick. I hope you 512 00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:00.679 can't hear that. My stomach is growing and I just am so embarrassed that 513 00:38:00.679 --> 00:38:04.360 that's being picked up by the microphone. Oh I didn't hear it. Jesus, 514 00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:07.840 Sorry, guys. Continue, Well, it's because we're hungry. My 515 00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:12.199 god. You probably haven't eaten today. No I haven't. No, we've 516 00:38:12.199 --> 00:38:16.119 got to keep the feet looking skinny. I'd really tell you what thanking on 517 00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:21.440 this. I'll tell you what. So many of our listeners are also in 518 00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:22.840 the sweaty feet club. I will not say any of your names and put 519 00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:28.280 you on blast, but I did receive more than one DM from you guys 520 00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:34.800 about also having sweaty, stinky beat that makes me feel good. Suggestion switch 521 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:40.840 your synthetic socks to one cotton apparently that helps. I'll be honest with you, 522 00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:45.599 I had no idea socks remain out of anything other than cotton. I 523 00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:50.239 guess we got to start reading the label. But I think we should start 524 00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:55.679 doing a recurring bit called Uncomfortably Close. It'll be details like that, because 525 00:38:57.840 --> 00:39:01.840 so many episodes of Buns and Banter where and we always are like you guys 526 00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:07.360 learned so much about us on these podcasts, and then we're sharing like these 527 00:39:07.880 --> 00:39:13.880 insider which we shouldn't be sharing on the internet, but here we are for 528 00:39:13.960 --> 00:39:16.480 those girls. We do it for the views. But yeah, I think 529 00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:22.840 that that is something that we should start uncomfortably close. Uncomfortably I'm sitting here 530 00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:27.840 right now, so uncomfortable about the ocean sweats, sitting in my brown slats. 531 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:32.559 Right now. We are this. We are same but different