Minnesota Goodbye You ready, Jennifer, Okay, let's get started. I did
notice. I listened to the Minnesota Goodbye yesterday because somebody said that it wasn't
loaded, and it wasn't in and this is a listener in Seattle, and
maybe it didn't load correctly in Seattle or something like that. So I went
to listen to it and there were no chumb of casinos. Oh that's good.
It was something else, and I can't remember. It was a minute
long commercial that starts the podcast, but I don't remember that it was abnoying
or obnoxious or anything like that. So hopefully, I mean, God love
you, chumpbu Casino. We'd love to have you come back. But it's
a nice little change up here and there. Let's get into the emails and
see what we got here we go, Good morning, Dave, Jenny Vault.
I stopped at the t Rex Cookie and Egan the other day to get
Dave's cookie, and it was my first time getting a t Rex cookie.
All my goodness, those cookies are huge. They are They're the size of
a human head, maybe pretty much like damn. I enjoy my cookies,
but I have now learned I'm not a fan of giant cookies. I prefer
smaller ones. But I did not want to say that your cookie was not
very good. The Macadamian uts were the perfect blend to the chocolate goodness.
I was tempted to buy other cookies, but I was at least strong enough
to not buy another one. Ha. By the way, I'll bring this
up. I'm gonna be at t Rex Cookies this Saturday one o'clock signing my
book and selling the Dave Ryan cookie. It's called Dave's Delicious Delight, I
think. And I'll be there from one until two signing my book, selling
the cookie. But you can go buy and buy my book there and the
cookie, and part of the proceeds from the cookie goes to Pause for Pause,
our Favorite Dog and Cat charity, and part of the proceeds from the
book goes to Children's Minnesota. So they go on to say, I went
to my first therapy point the other day and the first question asked by the
therapist was why do you think you need therapy? What brought you here?
And I was crying. I guess I have a lot more to unpacked than
I realized. At the end of the ninety minute intro session. She was
thinking that I have depression and anxiety, which didn't help with the anxiety because
I want to know now why I'm depressed and how did I get here?
Interesting Vat, I hope you become a permanent fixture of the morning show.
You're a great replacement for Drake Jenny. I find myself looking up to you.
You're rocking it in the gym, and I love your workout videos with
your trainer on your Insta so inspiring. Seriously, I do work out for
it five days a week, but I can't get my nutrition and on track
again. I want to be snacking constantly, and of course I'm not snacking
on good things. I hear your sister, because that is my problem too.
Oh, it's the I think it's the hardest part about Like, if
you're trying to build a certain body part, the food's the hardest part of
trying to get that into order. That's what you know. I have not
lost a whole lot of weight. I lost twenty pounds with Livia and I've
kept it off with Vivian from working out. But I want to lose a
little bit more. But I just, uh, I'm trying. Yeah,
but I'll this is my problem, and I think it's very common. You
eat a healthy meal, you eat a healthy lunch, you eat a healthy
dinner, and then you go, hmm, some M and ms sound really
good, so you eat a bag of M and m's, or some cheese
sticks sound really good. Or I was good all this week, so I'm
going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah. No, I mean,
I'm the queen of eating healthy all day up until about like seven pm,
I have this hangry really yeah, It's like I can eat a healthy all
day. I don't really snack a ton. I eat the meals that I
eat, and then I just feel like at that time at night, it's
like, go wild, go crazy. I'm eating chocolate chips, I'm eating
spoonfuls of peanut butter. You eat spoonfuls of peanut butter. That cracks me
up. Not very often anymore, because I definitely think I have a peanut
allergy. It does not sit well with my stomach. But if that's like
all that's in the house, I'm like, yeah, whatever, I don't
care about a little stomach ache for a while. Oh yeah, I get
you. I was hungry yesterday after you know this is stupid. I had
like four spoonfuls of cottage cheese and that's all I gave myself because right now
I'm on a weight loss mode. Jesus great for you though, no it
is, but I had four spoonfuls. I stopped after four spoonfuls, so
I just like said, Okay, that's enough. Dave. I got my
Minnesota Goodbye and Dave Ryan Show sticker that I'm proudly displaying at my house right
now. It is next to my do you get it Bong coffee mug.
I appreciate all that you do and you are a constant in my everyday routine.
Thank you from Kendra. Kendra, thank you for the very nice email.
This one says you asked us at the end of today's Minnesota Goodbye to
write in if we've ever had an argument of the Dave Ryan Show. Well,
my entire relationship has been arguments about the Dave Ryan Show. Wow.
Okay, well that might be exaggerating a little bit. However, I've listened
to you guys basically my whole life when my parents were not around to tell
me to turn that trash off. Now my partner is more or of a
rock guy. He currently goes back and forth between ninety three X and their
morning show and the rest of the day he's listening to ninety year old man
boring ass political podcast. Most recently, he got annoyed with my love for
your show when my three year old asked him on the way to school one
morning, how come you listen to that ass half ass show and not the
good one mama does? And honestly, I think that's a valid question.
Anyway, long story short, my kids and I love your show. My
oldest Michael actually came in for game Day the last time, and meeting Dave
specifically was definitely a high point in his little life so far. Oh that's
very sweet. I remember I remember that. Yeah, because she came to
play and he came along. Yes, does that sound right? Yep?
Thank you for all for everything you do to make our lives a little bit
more joyful. And don't listen to the weirdos like my husband who want to
listen to that ass show instead. Aaron, that was funny. Thank you,
glad you listen. And Michael, also, here's one. If you
had to be on any TV show, what show would you sign up to
be on? My answer Millionaire Matchmaker. That is from Emily. Well,
there's a good question if you had to be on any TV show, any
TV show, so I'm thinking like dramas or I don't know, any TV
show maybe from the past. I would be on a game show for sure,
maybe on Wheel of Fortune, not on Jeopardy, those are too hard.
What about you, Jenny? I would definitely be on a reality show
too, and it would be probably the Challenge that's on MTV. Still.
It used to be like worad Rules versus Real World, and now it's evolved
to just the challenge, so it's a very physical thing for the most part.
I think there's kind of some puzzles and stuff along the way, but
that's definitely what would work for me. What about you? What show would
you be on? And why? Next? One from Brent Love the Show,
longtime listener, first time writing into the Minnesota Goodbye. Although I consider
myself a piece or p one is like the industry name for somebody who listens
a lot. I had a first date on Sunday. It was gorgeous out,
so we got coffee. We started talking about the morning show and he
asked me about my worst date. So of course I had to brag that
I was on worst date Wednesday once he proceeded to tell me that he does
not like Fallon. Okay, I legit died inside my head. I bit
my tongue and listened to his rant, knowing inside I miss her and totally
listening to her and Jenny's podcast. We shall see if this leads to more
dates. He he he he. Love you guys, super happy I found
a reason to write in Britt. You know, don't feel bad that if
somebody doesn't like Fallon. There are people who don't like Jenny. There are
people who don't like me. There are people who don't like Fallon's voice.
There are people who don't like Vaunt. There are people who everybody who's on
the radio, there's gonna be somebody that if you if there's something, if
there's nothing that people don't like about you, and you're a very boring person.
Yeah. So in other words, oh, I don't like Genny because
she talks about like working out way too much. Well, if you didn't
talk about working out, you might be boring. So if you if you
did, if you did nothing to annoy someone, you would be a very
boring person. Somebody once told me. They said, well, you know,
you've got to be really careful not to offend anybody on the radio.
And I'm like, really like, and they're being sarcastic. They said,
yeah, but you know, remember everything is offensive. If you talk about
the weather, somebody's going to be offended because they got rained on on their
wedding. Or if you talk about, you know, siriasis, somebody will
be offended because they have soriasis. If you talk about, you know,
cat, somebody will be offended because their cat just died. So the secret
to success is not talk about anything. And you're going to be number one
because you're not pissing anybody off. And I saw exactly what they're saying.
So if and this goes to you, you're not in radio, I'm going
to guess. But if you have somebody that doesn't like you, it's because
you're an interesting person or an asshole. You could be a as well.
Yes, absolutely, I'm watching that show Big Little Lies? Is that what
it's called? Just finish episode two? And I don't like what's the girl's
name, legally blonde. I don't like Reese Witherspoon. I've never liked her.
Ever since she got drunk and told the arresting officer, don't you know
who I am? Don't you know who I am? I've never liked her
since then because it really showed me. I've been drunk before, but I've
never driven drunk and then told the cop, don't you know who I am?
I wouldn't even say that to the girl at dunkin Donuts. I would
never be like, don't you know who I am? Because how embarrassing when
you have to stoop that low. And plus DJ doesn't get you anywhere anyway.
You know, if you're an actress, NFL star, then you might
get somewhere. But there's like deep, no, I know who you are
and you're nothing. You just have to like go about it in a different
way than what she did, Like she's like, oh, here's my idea.
If you can see right there, it's pronounced Reese. Yeah. I
think the reason I brought her up is because there are people who she her
character is an asshole. Her character is a horrible I watched that so long
ago. I can't really remember what she is like in that show. But
she's very manipulative and everything is an argument she causes rifts and drama. She
pits people against other people. There's a scene and I don't want to get
too into it, but there's a storyline right now where there's a little boy.
They're all in first grade, they all have kids in first grade.
The little boy is disliked by everybody in the classroom because they think that he
choked a girl in the classroom. So he was the only one that didn't
get invited to another kid's birthday party. Everybody got invited in the class except
this little boy. And it's heartbreaking because right now I'm looking a little boy
going, oh, he's so sweet, and he's just so hurt that he
didn't get to go. So Reese Witherspoon's like, oh, yeah, fuck
you. I'm going to tell all the kids that are going to go not
to go unless you invite this little boy. So she takes all the other
kids to Disney on Ice. Have I lost you yet? No, I'm
just trying. It's just not ringing a bell. And I watched the show.
That's the weird thing. Are you sure you watch that one? Not
pretty? You're thinking a pretty little lie? I watched. I only watched
the first couple of seasons of Pretty Little Liars. That show went on for
way too long. I definitely watched both seasons of Big Little Eyes. I
just don't remember the first one very well anymore. Yeah, it is really
good. I know it's been on for a while, or it's been you
know, I think there's only two seasons. But okay, that one I
think we read already. Let's go back to this one, Dave, I
get a bone to pick with you. I'm surprised you haven't been canceled yet
by the Miss Rachel Warriors. Yeah. I'm done with the slandering. Someone
has to say something already. Miss Rachel is our Lord and savior. She
is our co parent in ninety five percent of parents of a toddler in this
very moment, adore her well, I wrote. The other day, I
wrote, I had watched with the girls Miss Rachel, who started apparently during
the pandemic on YouTube, and I said, this is the most low budget,
janky looking ass show, but kids love it. And I said,
for example, I watched a segment where she's like, I've got a surprise
in this egg, and she's got an egg about the size of a football
and it's plastic and she says, we're gonna wish that the egg would open.
Are you ready? Let's make a wish that the egg opens to find
out what's inside. And as she's saying this, she's struggling to get the
fucking egg open. She's trying to stick her thumbs in the crack and the
plastic and she can't get her thumbs in there. She's trying to open the
fucking thing and she can't get it open. And I'm like, this is
the biggest bunch of janky shit. You are getting canceled right now. You're
getting canceled. They just emailed it. How dare you? That's the it
is? Apparently, But I just thought it was funny. No, I
totally get it. Listen, I am here to make fun of shit like
that. But at the same time, Ava and Evelyn love it, so
thank god for miss Rachel. Continuing the email, she says, I could
write all day. Why why she is superior to other media for children because
she uses techniques used in speech therapy is low stimulation, shows parents what milestones
that children should be at, but more and more. But what is more
impressive is that her net worth is ten million dollars don't count out miss Rachel
Dave. I keep going on about why she's amazing and why she is usually
one of the first screen time that many children get. Nowadays, you can't
compare to the mind numbing, fast paced, entertainment based cartoons that turn kids
into zombies. It might seem boring or dull to you, but that's how
it should be. I'm begging you. This slander has to stop. He
he he. Still love all you guys, Sarah. You know what,
I can totally respect that and appreciate that, and I get how it was
very low key when you compare it to something like The Wiggles that Carson watched,
which was kind of manic, and you know, fruit Salad, Yummy,
yummy, Wiggily Party, Everybody's coming Wiggily. Oh, I only know
Fruit Salad, Jenny. I heard those songs, Oh my God, over
and over cars. I love the Wiggles. I only knew the fruit Salad
song because you every once in a while would pick that for mixtape game for
some random ass category, and I'm like, what is so now? I
know that song very well. Yeah, that was his jam. But they
were all in colorful outfits and they all danced, and there was Captain feather
Sword and Dorothy the Dinosaur and it was very stimulating. But this is a
different vibe. Last email says, good morning, Dave and Jenny this morning
you briefly, so briefly, in fact, you might not remember coming to
it. You talked about a friend of dave'sho was thrown out all kinds of
f bombs on the phone on her way home from Bible study. It's a
true story. She was on her way home from Bible study and she sent
me a Marco Polo, which if you'd never used Marco Polo, it's a
great video messaging app that's much better than texting, but it's similar to texting.
Instead of leaving a text message, it leaves a video. Let me
share with you a short story, really more of a cautionary tale. I
went to church for Good Friday service with a friend sometime between fifteen and twenty
years ago. When we got to the parking lot, something happened. I
don't remember what that made me drop the F bomb in the church parking lot.
Later that night, my parakeet died. Are the two events related.
Probably not, but maybe there is enough of a maybe factor that I don't
say the F bomb anymore, regardless of my proximity to a church. Anyway,
super short story today. This is my third time writing you guys,
but the first time since the staff writer stickers came out. So if this
is enough of an email to qualify, and you got any left, I'd
love to get one. That's Bobby and Rice Lake, Wisconsin. Have a
great day. Thanks for all the laughs. I hope Von sticks around the
show. I'm loving how it's been so much bigger, better and blacker lately.
From Bobby, I love that you wrote, I love that you drop
the F bomb, and your story is not too long at all, and
it was great content. Yeah. I know some people want to get the
sticker, so they're right and and be like, hey, what's your favorite
color. I hope that makes it on the podcast. I'll send him a
sticker anyway, I don't. Yeah, and that is it for the Minnesota
goodbye. I think we just want to ask you to send more emails in
so we don't run low. So you've got something you want to talk about,
whether you've written in a bunch of times, Andrew and Ohio and Sesna,
I'm looking at you. But if you've written in before, once or
twice, or a bunch of times, or never before. Think of something
for us to talk about. Whether it's spicy, whether it's controversial, whether
it is I don't know, something we brought up before. Send an email
because we love your emails. That is the heart of the show. Ryan
Show at KDWB dot com